August 01, 2014

Cloud burst



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It's all in how you say it?

Oak Ridge cancels class to reduce Southern accents

(AP) Some employees at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee complained about a class aimed at teaching them how to reduce their Southern accents. Now, managers are calling the whole thing off.

The course had been advertised as a way to feel confident in meetings, when one might need to speak with a more neutral accent. The class was touted as a way to "be remembered for what you say and not how you say it." [...]

ORNL spokesman David Keim said the class "probably wasn't presented in the right way" and managers decided to cancel it after other employees complained.

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Save yer money, kid

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July 31, 2014

Life on Facebook

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At least that's settled

Chubby Checker, HP settle lawsuit over penis-measuring app

(Reuters) - The singer Chubby Checker has settled a lawsuit in which he accused Hewlett-Packard Co of using his trademarked name without permission on a software app that purported to measure the size of a man's penis.

HP denied liability in agreeing to settle with Checker, whose given name is Ernest Evans, but agreed not to make future use of his stage name, likeness or related trademarks. [...]

In his February 2013 lawsuit against HP and its Palm unit, the singer objected to HP having in October 2006 begun online sales of "The Chubby Checker" app, which purported to let women estimate the size of a man's genitals based on his shoe size.

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Sword of light

The launch of NASA's twin Van Allen Radiation Belt Storm Probes atop a United Launch Alliance Atlas-V 401 rocket on August 30, 2012 from Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida.
© Mike Killian Photography

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July 29, 2014

Summer in the city

Specifically Queens in New York City



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There's no place like jail

Berrimah inmates break out of prison, then return after getting drunk

At least four prisoners in Darwin are suspected of repeatedly escaping the prison, getting drunk, then voluntarily returning to the facility in the hope no one would notice.

The ABC understands authorities were checking whether low-security prisoners have repeatedly escaped from a work release centre at Berrimah jail for a few hours after a 7pm headcount.

"It would appear that a couple of prisoners have jumped the fence but returned," a spokesman for NT Department of Correctional Services said.

Authorities were believed to suspect the group, and possibly other prisoners, were from time to time jumping a cyclone fence, getting picked up from a main road by partners and given alcohol and marijuana, before breaking back into prison a few hours later.

The deception was eventually discovered shortly after midnight in the early hours of Sunday July 20 when five drunk prisoners were found fighting over a mobile phone.

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But what is it really?

Dan Collins of KIKN 100.5 in Sioux Falls heard that an Walmart Ice Cream Sandwich won't melt in the sun. So, he put it to the test. And what do you know - it won't, even after 75 minutes in the sun. So, is it actually ice cream?

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July 28, 2014

Modern times

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You can imagine the reviews

for this book at Amazon:

Learning to Play With a Lion's Testicles: Unexpected Gifts From the Animals of Africa

The cheeky title of Melissa Haynes's story of adventure in Africa, Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles, earned the book some big publicity on NBC-TV/Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on September 4,2013 where it topped the show's list of "Titles Not to Read" for September 2013. Melissa's book was also a big smash on the March 11, 2014 Ellen Show, where Ellen and guest Ricky Gervais highlighted the book throughout the entire hour.

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Hi, Kurt

Funny labeling



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July 25, 2014

Another great goof (5)


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A versatile laptop

Police: Texas man had crossbow, tomahawk to kill ex's husband in Australia

A Texas man was arrested Tuesday in New South Wales, Australia in connection to an incident where he is accused of attacking his ex-wife's current husband with a crossbow and a tomahawk.

Jeffery Hooten, 49, allegedly flew to Australia last week to kill his ex-wife Stephanie Williams' current husband, Greg Williams, according to the Daily Telegraph.

Police say that Hooten fired a bolt from his crossbow at Williams, who was able to block the bolt with his laptop. Hooten is then accused of charging at Williams with a tomahawk, striking him in the head.

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Best thing since canned beer?

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July 24, 2014

How'd he do that?

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Road rage karma

I'd have paid admission to see this.

Man run over by own truck during road rage incident in Florida

GAINESVILLE, Fla. • A man in Florida apparently got a dose of road rage karma when police say he was run over by his own pickup truck after getting out to bang on another driver's window. [...]

The Gainesville Sun reports Joseph Carl, 48, had been drinking and drove into a vehicle stopped at a red light. He got out of his truck without putting it in park and began banging on the window of a woman's car. When the frightened woman drove away, there was nothing holding his truck in place.

The truck rolled into Carl. A police report says he was taken to the hospital where he was treated for fractures in his hand and foot.

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Good luck everybody

Here's a reference to a bit from Family Guy that was seen in a Target parking lot.



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July 23, 2014

Wild west buffalo

One of John Lopez' scrap metal sculptures.


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They're just jealous

That they didn't think of it.

Aichi politician reprimanded for 'punctured condoms' population proposal

NAGOYA – A member of the Shinshiro Municipal Assembly in Aichi Prefecture proposed distributing "punctured condoms" to married residents to bolster the city's dwindling population, the legislature's secretariat said Friday.

Independent Assemblyman Tomonaga Osada was verbally reprimanded Wednesday for the controversial proposal last month and told his remarks "lacked dignity for an assembly member and consideration" by the assembly chairman, who decided to delete them from the minutes of the June 18 meeting.

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Timing is everything (3)

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July 22, 2014

How to shoot pigeons

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On the horns of a lawn sprinkler

California drought doesn't end brown lawn warnings

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Laura Whitney and her husband, Michael Korte, don't know whether they're being good citizens during a drought or scofflaws.

On the same day the state approved mandatory outdoor watering restrictions with the threat of $500 fines, the Southern California couple received a letter from their city threatening a $500 penalty for not watering their brown lawn.

It's brown because of their conservation, which, besides a twice-a-week lawn watering regimen, includes shorter showers and larger loads of laundry.

They're encouraged by the state's new drought-busting, public service slogan: Brown is the new green.

The city of Glendora sees it differently.

"Despite the water conservation efforts, we wish to remind you that limited watering is still required to keep landscaping looking healthy and green," says the letter, which gives Korte and Whitney 60 days to restore their lawn.

They're among residents caught in the middle of conflicting government messages as the need for conservation clashes with the need to preserve attractive neighborhoods.

"My friends in Los Angeles got these letters warning they could be fined if they water, and I got a letter warning that I could be fined for not watering," Whitney said. "I felt like I was in an alternate universe."

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At the Cairo airport

I've been there but I don't recall seeing this.



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July 21, 2014


"Shell Game" Easter Egg Art by Franc Grom


Video at the link. Imagine drilling 2000 - 3000 holes in an egg shell to produce something like this. It would tax the patience of Job, I think.

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Talk about performance anxiety

Woman Convicted Of Shooting Lover Over Poor Sex Performance Granted Bond

SOUTHFIELD (WWJ) – Oakland County prosecutors are fighting the release of a 58-year-old Southfield woman admitted she shot her lover over his performance in bed.

Sadie Bell was convicted in April of assault with intent to do great bodily harm for shooting her boyfriend, Edward Lee, in the stomach in January of 2013 — but she's now been granted bond pending an appeal.

According to Chief Assistant Prosecutor Paul Walton, Bell admitted she had sex with Lee at her apartment, then shot him over his poor performance. She also accused Lee of cheating.

"The underlying facts in this are a little bizarre," Walton told WWJ's Sandra McNeil, "in that the defendant in this case was having a 15 year affair with the victim, Mr. Lee.

"She was upset with him," Walton said, "after a sexual act that she felt he wasn't performing adequately and accused him then of having an affair, and then took out a gun and shot him."
Walton said Bell made a "very graphic", detailed statement to police explaining why she shot her lover.

"She stated that she knew he was having an affair because he wasn't producing enough ejaculate," Walton explained. "She also said to the police some very graphic things about how she expected him to perform, she was a cheap date, she liked sex, she expected him to be able to do what he's promised; and she said, in essence, to quote her, she was pissed off, so she shot him."

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Roller cycle

Looks like a great way to get a face-sanding or some broken knees - when one of your skates jams.

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July 20, 2014

Heh (15)

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Yep, that's pretty vulgar all right

Florida Road Construction Sign Hacked To Show Extremely Vulgar Message

TAMPA, Fla. (CBS Tampa) – Drivers in Hillsborough County were subjected to a road construction sign that was flashing an obscene message after being hacked. [...]

While driving home from the drive-in movie theater in Ruskin, Sarah Carpenter saw the message. She was in the car with her 11-year-old brother and 6-year-old son.

"We are driving and I look over and I have to do a double take," Carpenter told WFTS. "I am like what does that say?"

The sign read: "F*** Her Right In The P****."

As she tried to merge into an open lane the sign distracted Carpenter. Her brother was in the passenger seat of her car when they passed the sign.

"He's like, 'Did that sign say what I think it says?' And I have my 6-year-old in the back seat trying to sound it out," she told WFTS.

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Serious vertigo (2)

Atop Preikestolen in Norway



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July 19, 2014

Car cemetery

One of seven images of the Abandoned Chatillon Car Cemetery in Belgium.


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Hey he might get hungry, right?

Kentucky man got arrested, then ordered pizza to police station

CORBIN, Ky.   •  Police in southern Kentucky say they got a surprise delivery after charging a man with shoplifting — five pizzas showed up at the station.

Officers say Michael Harp asked to make a call on his cellphone Tuesday afternoon while being booked in Corbin. A short time later, police say, a pizza delivery driver showed up to deliver to "Officer Wilson," the name of the officer who arrested Harp, 29.

Police say they linked the call to Harp by tracking his cellphone number. Harp told Lexington station WKYT-TV it's all a misunderstanding and that "about 10 people" used his phone.

Harp now faces additional charges including theft of identity, theft by deception, and impersonating a police officer. Jail records did not list an attorney for him.

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July 18, 2014

Pop a top! (5)

At Holy City Brewing in Charleston, SC

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July 17, 2014

Who can resist a good stick?

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The Facebook Cop

She's for real.

Facebook 'Friends' Its City, Pays for Officer

MENLO PARK, Calif.—On a recent afternoon, police officer Mary Ferguson visited the home of a teenager in this Silicon Valley suburb who had been missing school and was on probation.

Officer Ferguson approached the boy's father as part of her rounds and asked if he checks the teen's Facebook FB -1.85% page to make sure he's "on the up and up." When the man said he didn't, the officer assured him she did—thanks to a Facebook account she uses as part of her job that doesn't reveal her true identity. "I'll keep my eye on him," she said.

Officer Ferguson, 34 years old, is sometimes called "The Facebook Cop," but it isn't for her savvy use of social media. It is because her salary and benefits are paid entirely by Facebook Inc., which is based in this well-off city of 32,000.

In an unusual deal, the social-networking giant has agreed to fund a $194,000-a-year police position, including salary and benefits. The position is controlled by Menlo Park and the primary duties of the job are to keep children in school, work with juvenile offenders, and help large local businesses such as Facebook plan for emergencies like fires, earthquakes or violent intruders.

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Ouch! (13)

This is a little cold... but funny.



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July 16, 2014

Newton rules!

Given the nearly frictionless surface and minimal effect of air resistance, this looks like a textbook demonstration of Newton's Laws.



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366 large, down the drain

Council blows £214,000 over five years on hunt for blogger who insulted councillors

A council spent a staggering £200,000 on a hunt for a notorious internet blogger known as ‘Mr Monkey’ after he insulted local councillors.

The anonymous writer referred to councillors as ‘Pudgy Face’, ‘Miss Piggy’, ‘King of Sleaze’ and ‘The Fat Mackem Hobbit’ as he promised to ‘expose the truth’ behind their alleged lies.

Despite the internet troll abandoning the blog in 2009, the north east council have only just called off the manhunt - having spent the last five years searching for him.

South Tyneside Council launched the search after insisting they had a ‘duty of care’ to protect their employees from malicious accusations made online.

They immediately hired Washington DC lawyers McDermott, Will and Emery, to try and trace those responsible - all funded by the public purse.

But after spending more than £214,000 on the search for Mr Monkey, town hall bosses have now decided to drop the hunt.

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21st Century Cooler that's Actually Cooler

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July 15, 2014

Word crimes

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