- Demetri Martin

By The Associated Press
Wednesday, August 27, 2008 2:23 PM CDT

FORT MADISON, Iowa — An Illinois man who police say held five people hostage in a Fort Madison motel was arrested after he sent two of his hostages on a beer run.

The car was actually done in sharpie markers on the paint and then finished with a clear coat for protection. It took about 2 weeks total. Prestige (Lamborghini Miami) definitely shocked a lot of people when this car was first seen in California during the Concorso Italiano/Pebble Beach week. It attracted attention good and unfortunately bad everywhere it went.

WICHITA, Kan. — Fort Hays State University has fired its debate coach for losing his temper at a tournament, engaging in a videotaped shouting match that included pulling down his shorts to expose his underwear.

University President Edward H. Hammond also announced Friday that the school was immediately suspending its debate program until problems are addressed at the national level. He said it was important to take a stand against the declining standards of college debate.

POSTED: 9:47 am EDT August 26, 2008

OCALA, Fla. -- A vacationing Florida deputy was looking for a deal -- but got a crook.

Off-duty Marion County sheriff's Detective Thomas Tingue spotted a travel trailer on the road with a "For Sale" sign. He called the number to ask the price and learned the trailer had been stolen.

POSTED: 7:55 am EDT August 25, 2008

MIAMI -- The Mall of the Americas in Miami was home to a business not usually found among the food courts, retail stores and movie theaters of similar locations: a hydroponic nursery with more than 200 marijuana plants.

H.T. Carol

Wed, 20 Aug '08
Damaged TAT Probes On Nine Jets While Conducting 'Security Checks'

They're the government... and remember, they're here to help. A bumbling inspector with the Transportation Safety Administration apparently has some explaining to do, after nine American Eagle regional jets were grounded at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport on Tuesday.

Citing sources within the aviation industry, ABC News reports an overzealous TSA employee attempted to gain access to the parked aircraft by climbing up the fuselage... reportedly using the Total Air Temperature (TAT) probes mounted to the planes' noses as handholds.

When I went searching for its origin, I found this site with 6 other Michael Phelps cartoons.

Update: Narayanan at Tech Spikes left a comment: 'Here are 14 more Phelps cartoons.'

A drunk man who smelled like a distillery sat down next to a priest in a subway car. The man's tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'

The priest replied, 'My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for yourself and the lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned.' He resumed reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to be so uncharitable. How long have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'