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March 31, 2006

Aviation Nation 2005

Steve, our guy for great plane pix, sent a collection of images taken by Richard Seaman at the 2005 air show at Nellis AFB last November. Here's one below of three generations of fighter planes.

You can also find a set of pictures of this show at Flickr.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

News o' the Dumb update

At the end of last August, I mentioned Hawaii's gasoline price controls in a News of the Dumb post (second topic). Here's an update in a report from the New York Sun:

State's Price Controls on Gasoline Are Said To Have Cost Consumers

By JOSH GERSTEIN - Staff Reporter of the Sun
March 30, 2006

Hawaii is about to scrap its effort to legislate away high gasoline prices, after the state's "gas cap" law failed to lower prices at the pump and led to claims that the regulation cost drivers tens of millions of dollars since it went into effect in September.

"It's farcical, to be honest," the president of a gas station chain on the islands, Richard Parry, said in an interview yesterday. "Everyone sort of says, 'This obviously hasn't worked.'"

H.T. to the Club for Growth blog.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Heroine Chic

As a follow up to the More like her post about Wafa Sultan a couple of weeks ago, Steve R forwards a link to this article at TCS Daily about Irshad Manji in Canada and Ayaan Hirsi Ali in the Netherlands.

Ms. Manji (on the left) runs the site Muslim Refusenik.

Ms. Hirsi Ali is a member of the Dutch Parliament and is known for her collaboration with Theo van Gogh to make the film Submission.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hooked on mnemonics

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house. After the meal, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen remained at the table, talking. The host said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I'd recommend it very highly."

"What's the name of this restaurant?"

The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What's the name of that flower you give to someone you love? You know... the one that's red and has thorns?"

"Do you mean a rose?"

"Yes, that's the one." Then he turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Posted by joke du jour at 06:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Meteor strike

Amazing clip of a meteor strike in the desert at Google video:

Posted by joke du jour at 06:29 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

March 30, 2006

The man she forgot to google

An amusing shirt at T-shirtHumor.com.

Via A Welsh View.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What a popsicle means

The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities. He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation: "There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he shouted.

A few moments passed. "An ambulance just drove by..."

A few moments later, "Looks like the Anderson's have company," he called out.

"Matt's riding a new bike..."

A few moments later, 'Looks like the Sanders are moving."

"Jason is on his skate board...."

A few more moments, "The Coopers are having sex!"

Startled, Mother and Dad shot up in bed. Dad cautiously asked, "How do you know they're having sex?"

"Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle too."

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sons who make their dads proud

Steve R sends us 12 examples.

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Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Remember me?

A doctor with a mean sense of humor went to meet her new patient in the exam room.

The first thing she said was, "Well, Mr. Smith, as we discussed, you will experience some short-term memory loss."

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March 29, 2006

The retro-encabulator

Jeff sends a link to this very amusing clip about the latest in systems automation.

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Another dumb blonde joke

Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole with tape measure in hand, looking up. A blonde lady walked by and asked what they were doing.

"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder."

The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down. Then she took a tape from her pocket, took a measurement and announced: "It's eighteen feet, six inches." She walked away.

Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde? We ask for the height and she gives us the length."

Bubba and Junior are currently working for the government supervising the reconstruction of those New Orleans levees.

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Striking image

Dave writes, "I know how much you like good photos, and I ran across this one yesterday on Wikipedia. The subject matter is scary as Hel, but the photo itself is one of the most striking I've ever seen. It makes great wallpaper, too, for those of us who worry about nuclear annihilation or asteroid impacts...."

Click the link or the image to see and download a high-resolution version.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A real drinker

At a world brewing convention in California, the CEOs of various breweries retire to the bar at the end of the day's conference. Brian of Foster's shouts to the barman: "In 'Strylya, we make the best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a Foster's, myte."

Bob from Anheuser-Busch calls out next, "Here in the States, we brew the finest beers of the world and I make the king of them all! Gimme a Bud."

Then Hans with Brauerei Beck steps up. "In Germany ve invented das bier, verdamt. Give me ein Becks! Ya, ist der real king of biers."

Paddy, in charge of Guinness, steps forward next and asks, "Barman, would ya give me a diet Coke with ice and lemon? Tanks."

The others stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their faces. Eventually Brian asks, "You're not having a Guinness, Pat?"

Paddy replies "Well, if you fookin' pansies aren't drinkin', then neither am I."

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March 27, 2006

Mother of the Year

At Google video

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Just ignore them

Lou sends this one.

I heard a story recently about a student named Donald MacDonald from the Isle of Skye who was admitted into the prestigious Oxford University and was living in the hall of residence in his first year there. His clan was excited that one of their own had made it into the upper class of education, but they were concerned how he would do in "that strange land." After the first month, his mother came to visit.

"And how do you find the English students, Donald?" she asked.

"Mother," he replied in his thick brogue, "they're such terrible, noisy people. The one on that side keeps banging his head against the wall, and he won't stop. The one on the other side screams and screams and screams away into the night."

"Oh, Donald! How do you manage to put up with those awful noisy English neighbours?"

"Mother, I do nothing. I just ignore them. I just stay here quietly, playing my bagpipes..."

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

HiRISE

...is the High Resolution Imaging Science Experiment camera orbiting Mars AKA the Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter.

Barsoom!

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Google Finance

...is now live after its beta period.

Posted by joke du jour at 05:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 24, 2006

Another funny answering machine

Carol sends this MP3 version of an old joke. It's the answering machine at the Mental Health Hotline.

MP3 form. Save.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

3-D pong

A 3-D version of Pong done in Flash; pretty challenging.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

An Irish toast

John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!" That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night at the local public house.

He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."

She said, "And what was your toast?"

John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life sitting in church beside me wife."

"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.

The next day, Mary ran into one of John's toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night with a toast about you, Mary."

She said, "Aye and I was a bit surprised meself! You know, he's only been there twice! Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come."

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Opening time

Another ad for Bud Light:

Video below the fold.

[MPEG format. Save.]

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March 22, 2006

High flier

Caught On Video: Cat Survives 80-Foot Fall

POSTED: 11:52 am EST March 21, 2006
UPDATED: 3:27 pm EST March 21, 2006

SUMMERVILLE, S.C. -- For Rodney and Scottie Colvin, it was been a nerve-racking eight days. Their cat, "Piper," scampered up a tree in the yard of their Summerville, South Carolina home last Monday, March 13.

Efforts to coax the animal down failed. A week later, on Monday, March 20, would-be rescuers came to Piper's aid. Then, something went terribly wrong, but this time all was okay in the end.

The cat fell nearly 80 feet, clipped a branch on the way down and then landed on its feet and ran away. Piper, no doubt, used up at least a couple of his feline nine lives, but otherwise appeared to have survived the ordeal without serious injuries.

Via WFTV.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Loremo

A.E. sends a link to an interesting concept vehicle called the Loremo.

Loremo

The site claims this vehicle will get 100 km per 1.5 liters which, if I did the conversion correctly, would be 157 miles per gallon. Not available until 2009.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

How to run the highways

An old one, but worth a reprise.

"Think of the Internet as a highway."

There it is again. Some clueless fool talking about the "Information Superhighway." They don't know didley about the net. It's nothing like a superhighway. That's a rotten metaphor. Suppose the metaphor ran in the other direction. Suppose the highways were like the net...

A highway hundreds of lanes wide. Most with pitfalls for potholes. Privately operated bridges and overpasses. No highway patrol. A couple of rent-a-cops on bicycles with broken whistles. 500 member vigilante posses with nuclear weapons. A minimum of 237 on ramps at every intersection. No signs. Wanna get to Ensenada? Holler out the window at a passing truck to ask directions. Ad hoc traffic laws. Some lanes would vote to make use by a single-occupant- vehicle a capital offense on Monday through Friday between 7:00 and 9:00. Other lanes would just shoot you without a trial for talking on a car phone.

AOL would be a giant diesel-smoking bus with hundreds of ebola victims on board throwing dead wombats and rotten cabbage at the other cars, most of which have been assembled at home from kits. Some are built around 2.5 horsepower lawnmower engines with a top speed of nine miles an hour. Others burn nitrogylcerin and idle at 120.

No license plates. World War II bomber nose art instead. Terrifying paintings of huge teeth or vampire eagles. Bumper mounted machine guns. Flip somebody the finger on this highway and get a white phosphorus grenade up your tailpipe. Flatbed trucks cruise around with anti-aircraft missile batteries to shoot down the traffic helicopter. Little kids on tricycles with squirtguns filled with hydrochloric acid switch lanes without warning.

NO OFFRAMPS. None.

Now that's the way to run an Interstate Highway system.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Political humor

Frank Caliendo, appearing on David Letterman (according to our contributor), does a pretty good job impersonating two presidents.

Caliendo

Video below the fold.

[WMV format. Save. (15MB)]

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March 21, 2006

Free movies

This one has "Marketing Department" written all over it.

Hospital ER Offers Free Movie Tickets For Slow Doctor Response

POSTED: 10:42 am EST March 21, 2006

CHESTERFIELD, Va. -- A hospital is promising emergency room patients they'll be seen by a doctor in 30 minutes or less -- or else receive an apology and free movie tickets.

Shortening emergency room waiting times is part of a hospital-wide initiative aimed at improving patient care, said Pam Hash, administrative director of emergency services at the newly opened St. Francis Medical Center. The free movie tickets were the marketing department's idea.

Via WFTV.

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Budget body armor

Dave sends this image with the comment, "from my son-in-law, who got it from a buddy still in Iraq."

BudgetBodyArmor.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Monthly Man

Continuing with yesterday's PMS theme...

Video below the fold, thanks to J.R.

[WMV format. Save.]

Posted by joke du jour at 07:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Just once more

An attractive woman entered a pet shop. When the clerk offered assistance, she explained that she was recently divorced and was looking for a smallish dog for company. The clerk explained that the name of the store was 'Exotic Pets' and that, unfortunately, they did not stock cats, dogs, fish or other commonplace pets. He did say, however, that he had something which might be ideal.

He took the woman into a back room. He walked over to a terrarium, and pointed proudly to a large bullfrog which sat inside it. "Would that suit your needs?" he asked.

The woman answered, scornfully, that she hardly thought an amphibian would be a suitable companion.

"Ah," replied the salesman, leering, "but this amphibian has been carefully trained to perform oral sex upon women."

At this the woman's eyes lit up. She eagerly negotiated a price of $500 for the frog, and left with it in her expectant possession. Arriving home, she drew a bubble bath, poured a glass of champagne and relaxed in anticipation. When she was thoroughly mellow, she dried and arranged herself, nude, upon her bed. Parting her thighs, she placed the frog between them, closed her eyes, and waited.

Nothing happened.

She prodded the frog. Still nothing. She moved it up further toward her body.

Nothing.

She ordered it to perform. No response.

After an hour of this frustration, she lifted the phone and called the pet shop. When the clerk answered, she complained loudly that she had been cheated. The clerk apologized profusely, wrote down her address, and said he'd be right over.

Ten minutes later, he knocked on the door and the woman answered. He asked her to demonstrate the problem. She obliged, by disrobing and assuming her former position, with the frog in place.

The frog made no movement. "You see?" she asked, petulantly.

"Yes, I do," said the man.

Then, addressing the frog as he removed his necktie and shirt, he said, "Now, I'm only going to show you this one more time..."

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March 20, 2006

Pictures of walls

An interesting collection of photos of graffiti - and you can submit your own images as well. This one comes from Champaign, Illinois.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Got milk?

A pretty funny parody.

Got Milk

Video below the fold.

[WMV format. Save.]

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Pick 3

On a recent vacation, I came upon the following news item in the Blue Springs, Missouri Examiner:


PICK 3

ST. LOUIS--The winning numbers drawn Tuesday night in the daily Missouri Lottery Pick 3 game were 9-9-9.

A winning $1 ticket with the numbers in the correct order paid $500; a winning $1 ticket with the numbers in any order paid $160.

Via rec.humor.funny.

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Need bait?

Jeff says this ad appeared in one of his sailing magazines.

NeedBait.gif

Posted by joke du jour at 06:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 18, 2006

Be vewy, vewy quiet

A lady opened her refrigerator and saw a rabbit sitting on one of the shelves. "What are you doing in there?" she asked.

"This is a Westinghouse, isn't it?" asked the rabbit.

"Yes," replied the lady.

"Well," the rabbit said, "I'm just westing."

Via Dave.

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But we just propose

An ad from UPS that's pretty old now but still very amusing.

Video below the fold.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 AM

Weekend reading 13

Interesting reading in this blog kept by a doctor who works in Britain's National Health Service.


And via Money magazine:
The Poor Get Richer

Blue-collar workers are making salary gains -- but don't cheer yet.
By Geoffrey Colvin, FORTUNE senior editor-at-large
March 15, 2006: 5:13 PM EST

(FORTUNE Magazine) - I have good news and bad news. The good news is that income inequality in the U.S. -- after 30-plus years of steadily increasing -- may be decreasing. The bad news is why that trend is reversing. It looks like another lesson in how profoundly a globalizing economy is upending what we thought we knew.

Rising income inequality has settled comfortably into America's big economic picture as a reliable--and much lamented--megatrend. Starting around the late 1960s, U.S. incomes started to become more disparate. The trend was remarkably steady. Recessions might slow it down or briefly reverse it, but mostly it just marched on.

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What the bleep?

A very well done animation at Google video about the double-slit experiment that demonstrates wave-particle duality.

Courtesy of CodeWritinFool.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Law suit mania

Man Hits His Own Car Then Sues Himself

Man Hits His Own Car Then Sues Himself; City Denies Claim

LODI, Calif. Mar 16, 2006 (AP)- When a dump truck backed into Curtis Gokey's car, he decided to sue the city for damages. Only thing is, he was the one driving the dump truck. But that minor detail didn't stop Gokey, a Lodi city employee, from filing a $3,600 claim for the December accident, even after admitting the crash was his fault.

Via CoyoteBlog.

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March 16, 2006

Down in the farm

On of 13 pics claimed to be from a "farm" located in a cave beneath a house in Tennessee. According to this post, they harvested a crop every 60 days.

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Fill 'er up

From the Little, Brown Book of Anecdotes:

On arrival at a Chicago hotel, Thomas Du Pont found that a lady who had previously occupied is room had left behind a frilly nightgown. He summoned the manager, handed him the garment, and instructed, "Fill it, and bring it back."

Du Pont was a businessman and politician -- a senator from Delaware in the early 1920s. He built the Delaware highway named after him and donated it to the state.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A Cello Rondo

...is the name of this awesome piece in which Ethan Winer plays 37 parts on a cello and then mixes them down to produce the song he's recording.

Cello rondo

You can find the clip in a variety of forms at Mr Winer's site, both high and low resolution. Or you can play the Flash version (linked above) at Google video.

Tip o' the hat to Lou.

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Office memo


Please note that at this year's company picnic only one drink will be served per person.

Please bring your own cup.

H.T. Dave.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 15, 2006

Lesson on the golf course

A father, son and grandson go out to the country club for their weekly round of golf. Just as they reach the first tee, a beautiful young woman approaches them, carrying her bag of clubs. She explains that the guy who brought her to the club for a round of golf had an emergency, which called him away and she asks the trio if she can join them.

Naturally, the guys all agree. Smiling, the woman thanks them and says, "Look, fellows, I work in a topless bar as a dancer, so nothing shocks me anymore. If any of you wants to smoke a cigar, have a beer, bet, swear or tell off-color stories or do anything that you normally do when playing a round together -- go ahead. But I enjoy playing golf. I consider myself pretty good at it, so don't try to coach me on how to play."

With that the guys agree to relax and invite her to drive first. All eyes were fastened on her shapely behind as she bent over during the round. Long and straight tee shots, coupled with stunning iron and short-game play, left them breathless with more than just her superior looks.

When they get to the 18th green, the blonde is 3 under par, but has a very nasty 12-foot putt on an undulating green for a par. She turns to the three guys and says, "I really want to thank you all for not acting like a bunch of chauvinists and telling me what club to use or how to play a shot, but I need this putt for a 69 and I'd really like to break 70 on this course. If any one of you can tell me how to make par on this hole, I'll take him back to my apartment, pour some 25-year-old Scotch into him, fix him dinner, and show him a good time the rest of the night."

The yuppie son jumps at the thought. He strolls across the green, carefully eyes the line of the putt and finally says, "Honey, aim about 6 inches to the right of the hole and hit it firm. It will get over that little hump and break right into the cup."

The father kneels down and sights the putt using his putter. "Don't listen to the kid, darlin'. You want to hit it softly, 10 inches to the right and run it left down that little hogback so it falls into the cup."

The gray-haired grandfather walks over to the woman's ball on the green, picks it up and hands it to her. "That's a gimme, sweetheart. Your car or mine?"

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Animated graffiti

This is a way cool clip that features animated graffiti. I don't know who performs the audio track.

graffiti

Video below the fold.

[MOV format. Save. (15MB)]

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This is a sport?

Man Wins 'Rock, Paper, Scissors' Contest
Mar 11, 6:53 AM (ET)

SARASOTA, Fla. (AP) - It all came down to this: Jason Wood threw a "rock," crushing Erin Smith's "scissors" and earning him a trip to Las Vegas.

Wood, a 34-year-old server at an oyster bar, emerged from a field of 29 competitors to win the southwest Florida regional finals of the "Rock, Paper, Scissors" tournament Thursday night at a local country music nightclub, the Sarasota Herald-Tribune reported in Friday's editions.

Now he's off to Vegas to compete in the national tournament and a chance to win $50,000.

In case you missed it, "Rock, Paper, Scissors" - that same hand-to-hand game used to settle childhood disputes - is an organized sport now. The rules are the same: Rock smashes scissors. Paper smothers rock. Scissors cut paper.

In the finals, Wood took the first round, Smith the second. Wood went with the "rock" and took the rubber match.

"I'm on top of the world!" he said.

More than 300 people from across the country will compete in the April 9 tournament at the Luxor Resort Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas.

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March 13, 2006

More like her

Rob's forwarded this clip with the subject line: We need more like this woman.

The woman is Syrian-born Wafa Sultan, who practices psychology near Los Angeles. Here's an excerpt of the interview in which she created a stir by going head-to-head with a Muslim cleric on Al-Jazeera TV. (This excerpt comes from MEMRI.)

Wafa Sultan

You can view the whole cip at iFilm; you can find a transcript at MEMRI.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:33 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

WAL * OCAUST

Wal-Mart In Court Fight Over 'Wal-ocaust' T-Shirts

POSTED: 11:55 am EST March 8, 2006
ATLANTA -- A Georgia man has filed a lawsuit against Wal-Mart in federal district court in Atlanta in a fight over his T-shirts that compare the retailer's business practices to the Holocaust.

Charles Smith has been marketing shirts that read, "I (heart) Wal-ocaust" T-shirts. Wal-Mart filed a cease-and-desist order in an attempt to make him stop printing the shirts.

The company said Smith is engaging in trademark infringement. It has threatened to sue Smith if he continues to display the logos on his Web site and to print them on his products.

The 48-year-old Smith is a computer repairman and said he has no deep connection to the company. But he claims using the logos is a free speech issue.

Via WFTV.

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Geek chic

Top 10 geek watches at productdose.com.

frank gehry watch

This one's pretty striking, but my personal favorite is the Nixie tube watch.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Heads up!

I was a little suprised that I didn't run across this first at MacRaven, since Dave has been blogging regularly about the migration path of the avian flu.

But, in any event, here's an official "Heads up!"

Ready or Not, Bird Flu Is Coming to America
Officials Advise Stocking Up on Provisions -- and Warn That Infected Birds Cannot Be Prevented From Flying In
By BRIAN ROSS

March 13, 2006 — - In a remarkable speech over the weekend, Secretary of Health and Human Services Michael Leavitt recommended that Americans start storing canned tuna and powdered milk under their beds as the prospect of a deadly bird flu outbreak approaches the United States.

Ready or not, here it comes.

It is being spread much faster than first predicted from one wild flock of birds to another, an airborne delivery system that no government can stop.

"There's no way you can protect the United States by building a big cage around it and preventing wild birds from flying in and out," U.S. Secretary of Agriculture Michael Johanns said.

U.S. spy satellites are tracking the infected flocks, which started in Asia and are now heading north to Siberia and Alaska, where they will soon mingle with flocks from the North American flyways.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 11, 2006

Time-waster II

Ball toucher

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March 10, 2006

On the job

An old Saturday Night Live clip about sexual harassment.

Harassment

Video below the fold.

[WMV format. Save.]

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Lamb Agility

Dave sends a link to this site with the comment "Pretty strange..."

Agility lamb

Yep... I'll say. It looks like a lamb that's being trained for steeplechase. According to the site, there's even video - but you have to request it via e-mail.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

God made an Idiot...

..for practice and then He made a School Board. - Mark Twain

From the Chicago Tribune (reg - or bugmenot.com - required):

Driver's ed for blind kids?
Students wonder why city schools make them take course

By Tracy Dell'Angela
Tribune staff reporter
Published March 10, 2006

Mayra Ramirez scored an A in driver's education this year, but sitting through the 10-week class felt like a bad joke to the Curie Metropolitan High School sophomore.

Ramirez is blind. She knows she's never going to drive. She can think of a lot of things she'd rather be studying than rules of the road, but she didn't have a choice.

Chicago Public Schools requires all sophomores to take the class and pass a written road-rules exam--a graduation requirement that affects about 30 blind and visually impaired students in specialized programs at Curie and Payton College Preparatory High.

"In other classes, you don't really feel different because you can do the work other people do," said Ramirez, 16. "But in driver's ed, it does give us the feeling we're different. In a way, it brought me down, because it reminds me of something I can't do."

State law requires that all districts offer driver's education, but does not mandate it as a graduation requirement. For the hundreds of high schools that do, there should be some exemption option for disabled students who cannot drive, a state education official said.

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Laughing babies

Another serious dose of cute.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:00 PM

March 09, 2006

Try the freasuse

A funny Engrish menu:

Engrish

Via Dave Barry.

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The ring

A funny clip from Rob:

ring

Video below the fold.

[WMV format. Save.]

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Accidental discoveries

Wired has a list of The Best Accidental Discoveries. Here's a sample
4. Penicillin
Scottish scientist Alexander Fleming was researching the flu in 1928 when he noticed that a blue-green mold had infected one of his petri dishes - and killed the staphylococcus bacteria growing in it. All hail sloppy lab work!
...which reminded me of an anecdote about Mr. Fleming.
Fleming's discovery of penicillin was made by accident when a speck of dust happened to land on an uncovered culture plate. Touring a modern research laboratory some years later, he observed with interest the sterile, dust-free, air-conditioned environment in which the scientists worked. "What a pity you did not have a place like this to work in," said his guide. "Who can tell what you might have discovered in such surroundings!"

"Not penicillin," remarked Fleming with a smile.
From the Little, Brown Book of Anecdotes.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:00 PM

March 08, 2006

Puppy Mover Monorail

OK, it's been too long since we had a shot of 100-proof cute. Here's the Puppy Mover Monorail.

PuppyMover

Via ZPi.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

To serve and protect

This story was told to me by a family friend who is an Illinois State Trooper. One day he was pulling off an expressway near Chicago. When he turned onto the street at the end of the ramp, he noticed someone at a chicken place getting into his car. The driver placed the bucket of chicken on top of his car, got in and drove off with the bucket still atop his car.

So the trooper decided to pull him over and perform a community service by giving the driver his chicken. So he pulled the guy over, walked up to the car, pulled the bucket off the roof and offered it to the driver.

The driver looked at the trooper and said, "No thanks, I just bought some."

From rec.humor.funny.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

My own grandpa

Talk about retro... Someone animated a really old song called I'm My Own Grandpa using The Sims 2. The audio track in this clip is from a Ray Stevens recording.

How old is the song? The first mention I saw of it was in Heinlein's All You Zombies which he wrote in 1959. The song itself was written in 1948 and has been recorded by many people.

Hat tip to Carol - video below the fold.

[WMV format. Save.]

Posted by joke du jour at 06:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Farewell, my lovely

A goodbye to Borland's Delphi at The Register:

Farewell my lovely
By Verity Stob
Published Tuesday 7th March 2006 10:14 GMT
  1. And it came to pass that the Sons of Kahn, who dwelt in the valley of the Scotts, fell yet again upon interesting times. And their fortune did wax and wane, only with not so much of the wax.
  2. And they did bring forth a version of Delphi called '2005'. But the users of Delphi looked upon it with scorn, for it was a stinker. And they upgradeth not.
  3. And the great and respected leader of the Sons of Kahn, one Daleful Er, spake unto his people saying: I have a great plan to fix our troubles.
  4. And the Sons of Kahn spake unto their great and respected leader, saying: Art thou still here?
  5. And so Daleful Er departed the valley of the Scotts, with his tail fitted in its groove.
  6. Then the remaining Sons of Kahn sat down upon the Dell Yocam Memorial Sofa and parleyed amongst themselves, for they knew in their hearts that they did indeed need a great plan.
  7. And then one amongst their number said unto the rest: Let's change our name to Inprise again. That worked brilliantly last time.
  8. But the Sons of Kahn heedeth him not, for they perceiveth that the fellow taketh the pitheth.
  9. And then another amongst their number spake up, saying: Look, there is a strange mark upon the sofa, upon its very leather. Whosoever can interpret this mark unto us, he must be our leader.
  10. And they all gathered around the sofa saying: Eugh, gross; is that a food stain or what?
  11. And: Methinks 'tis like a weasel.
  12. And: I love the smell of Rorschach in the morning.
  13. And they could interpret it not.

I wonder whether the author was thinking of Raymond Chandler's novel or E.B. White's essay? The first is probably better known but the second seems more appropriate in this case.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 07, 2006

A fine howdy-do

Scott sends this clip with a comment, "Get some tips from a pro!" (I'm not a fisherman but I believe the guy in the clip is this fellow.)

Bill Dance

Video below the fold.

[WMV format. Save.]

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Nanotech capacitors

Another interesting tech idea - I hope this one proves to be viable commercially.


Nanotech promises the first viable alternative to batteries in 200 years

February 14, 2006
Almost everything we use requires electrical storage via a battery - computers, cell phones, cars, personal entertainment devices and much more – and as compelling functionality has increased in the digital age, so too has our reliance on the traditional battery which has changed little since it was developed by Alessandro Volta in 1800.

Now, work at MIT's Laboratory for Electromagnetic and Electronic Systems (LEES) holds the promise of the first technologically significant and economically viable alternative to conventional batteries in more than 200 years.

nanotech capacitor

Posted by joke du jour at 08:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Bird-watching practice

This is amazing! Until now I never understood how to tell the difference between male and female birds.

Which of these two birds is a female? Study them closely.

Now see if you can spot which of the two is the female.

It can be done - even by someone with limited bird-watching experience.

TwoBirds.gif

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Bad sunburn

To prepare for his big date the young man went up on the roof of his apartment building to get a little color for himself. Not wanting any tan lines to show, he sunbathed in the buff. Unfortunately he fell asleep while on the roof and got a bad case of sunburn, which included his johnson.

But the young man decided not to miss his date, because she was a hot redhead.

The redhead showed up for the date at his apartment and the young man treated her to a home-cooked dinner. Afterward they watched a movie. During the movie, though, the young man's sunburn started acting up. After several minutes of extreme discomfort he asked to be excused.

A friend had told him that milk was very effective in reducing sunburn pain, so he went to the kitchen, poured a glass of milk and placed his sunburned member in the milk. Ah! The relief was immediate.

But the redhead was wondering what he was doing, so she wandered into the kitchen to find him with his tool immersed in the glass of milk. A look of sudden understanding crossed her face as she exclaimed, "So that's how you reload those things!"

Posted by joke du jour at 08:00 PM | Comments (0)

March 06, 2006

A six cycle engine

This is an interesting article from AutoWeek about a six-cycle engine.

Six-stroke

It's a modified gasoline (or diesel) engine with water injected on the stroke following the exhaust stroke to provide a second, steam-driven power stroke. This will be pretty slick, if it works.


Via Clayton Cramer.

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Le coeur fait boum

Here's a curious puppet widget at a French site. "Amuses-toi avec mon coeur," it says. Carol says she found it very diverting.

It appears to be using an ActiveX control. IE reported it was launching a control and the site didn't work for me using either Opera or Firefox. (Your mileage may vary, of course.)

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Tennis balls

A cute ad for cellular service

Tennis balls

Video below the fold.

[WMV format. Save.]

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Creation explained

Steve F sends this one for a reprise. It's almost as old as the book of Genesis.

After three weeks in the Garden of Eden God came to visit Eve. "So, how's everything going?" inquired God.

"It is all so beautiful, God," she replied, "the sunrises and sunsets are breathtaking, the smells, the sights, everything is wonderful, but I have just one problem.

"It's these breasts you have given me. The middle one pushes the other two out and I am constantly knocking them with my arms, catching them on branches and snagging them on bushes. They're a real pain."

And Eve went on to tell God that since many other parts of her body came in pairs, such as her limbs, eyes, ears, etc., she felt that having only two breasts might leave her body more "symmetrically balanced," as she put it.

"That's a fair point," replied God, "but it was my first shot at this, you know. I gave the animals six breasts, so I figured that you needed only half of those, but I see that you are right. I will fix it up right away." And God reached down, removed the middle breast and tossed it into he bushes.

Three weeks passed and God once again visited Eve in the Garden of Eden. "Well, Eve, how is my favorite creation today?"

"Just fantastic," she replied, "but for one oversight on your part. You see, all the animals are paired off. The ewe has a ram and
the cow has her bull; all the animals have a mate except me. I feel so alone.

God thought for a moment and said, "You know, Eve, you're right. How could I have overlooked this? You do need a mate and I will immediately create a man from a part of you.

"Now let's see... Where did I put that useless boob?"

Now, doesn't THAT make more sense than the stuff about the rib?

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March 03, 2006

Bizarre

CowAbduction.com

cow abduction

Posted by joke du jour at 06:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Weekend reading 12

From The Sacramento Bee, an article about employer-funded health care. I have sometimes wondered how this came to be common in the US; this article describes the historical roots of the practice.

Breaking free from employer-managed health care
By Daniel Weintraub -- Bee Columnist
Published 2:15 am PST Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Imagine for a moment that your employer was required by law to buy a plan to manage your nutrition needs - rather than simply paying you a wage, out of which you buy the food you want to eat.

Or suppose the government required your employer to pay for a housing plan, rather than paying you and letting you decide where and how to live.

Finally, consider what it would be like if the company you work for was mandated to design and finance a transportation plan for you, with a list of options for how you could get to work and back home each day.


Who was Ludwig von Mises? If you can answer that question, you may be interested in this online version of his book Socialism at the Ludwig von Mises Institute.


Update: Via e-mail, A.E. comments:

I clicked on the link to the Daniel Weintraub piece and thought it was too much 'what if'-ing and too oversimplified, so I went to find a history of health insurance that would cover it a little more thoroughly. I found this article and also read the Wikipedia article about health insurance which still did not satisfy me, but at the bottom of the Wikipedia article there was this one, which I thought very thoroughly covered the subject.

It was only after I went back to your original post that I saw the question about Ludwig von Mises and realized the coincidence of the page titled "Sayonara MSAs" (at mises.org) that I'd just read. Strange!

In my e-mail reply, I mentioned the alternative of finding doctors who work for cash and suggested googling for "cash doctor." If (like me) you and your family aren't covered by an employer's group health plan, sites like this one can be pretty useful.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The I-pod PRO 2005 XP

I've gotten links to this video clip from several folks in the last two days. Dave tipped me to his post about it two days ago (but his link was broken, so I couldn't steal it from there).

And that's easy to understand once you watch it: it's a hilarious take on how Microsoft would package the iPod.

MS iPod

You can find the original WMV here, or Flash player versions at YouTube or Google video.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

"Great name for a rock band"

...as Dave Barry would say.

Florida Punk Rock Band's Name Causes Ohio Bomb Scare

POSTED: 10:24 am EST March 3, 2006
ATHENS, Ohio -- Authorities shut down four buildings at Ohio University after a police officer noticed a sticker that said "this bike is a pipe bomb" before finding out the message was the name of a Florida punk rock band, a university spokesman said.

Police noticed the sticker on a bicycle early Thursday, then blocked streets around a university-owned restaurant where it was found, spokesman Jack Jeffery said. A bomb squad came from Columbus, about 65 miles away.

Via WFTV.

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March 02, 2006

1 year ago...

...this week the first post appeared here.

MarilynCandle.jpg

(Image from Stellar Graffiti.)

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

Headlines from 2029

I don't know the source of this collection.

Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in world's seventh largest country, Mexifornia (formerly California).

Baby conceived naturally -- scientists stumped.

Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

Iran still closed off; physicists estimate at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

France pleads for global help after being taken over by Jamaica.

Minorities still trying to have English recognized as Mexifornia's third language.

Castro finally dies at age 112. Cuban cigars can now be imported legally but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and exercise key to weight loss.

Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

Japanese scientists have created a camera with a shutter so fast it can photograph a politician with his mouth shut.

Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

Average height of NBA players reaches nine feet, seven inches.

New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

Capitol Hill intern indicted for refusing to have sex with congressman.

Florida voters still having trouble with voting machines.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Unpimp yo' ride

This image comes from one of three Volkswagen ads at leftlanenews.com. Some rides get "unpimped." Hilariously.

Unpimp

Via DiClerico.

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March 01, 2006

Fore!

Next ISS Commander's Spacewalk Golf Shot Raises Concerns
By Todd Halvorson
FLORIDA TODAY
posted: 27 February 2006
1:36 p.m. ET

CAPE CANAVERAL - A spacewalking Russian cosmonaut plans to hit a golf shot outside the International Space Station this summer as part of a publicity campaign that already has raised safety concerns.

Clad in a cumbersome spacesuit and anchored to a specially designed tee box, Pavel Vinogradov will hit a six-iron drive along side the station's Russian segment, taking great care not to hook the ball into the outpost.

Nataliya Hearn, president and chief executive officer of Element 21 Golf Co., said Russian Federal Space Agency officials initially were concerned that fragile solar panels jutting from the station's Russian crew quarters might be struck.

But an extensive Russian test program -- one involving veteran cosmonaut Sergei Krikalev -- subsequently showed the golf shot in space would be safe, Hearn said.

"If they were not confident that there would not be any safety issues with the structural components of the International Space Station, they would never have gone ahead and approved the full mission," she said.

NASA managers are aware of the plans and are reviewing the safety issues.

The ball is expected to remain in orbit for three to four years.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What took so long?

A.E. sez: "Finally, what we've all been waiting for: a corporate responsibility blog from McDonalds!"

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dancing dog

Steve sends this clip with the subject line Coolest dog in the world. I don't know if it's cooler than the skateboarding dog, but it's certainly one of the best-trained dogs I've ever seen - pretty impressive.

Dancing dog

Video below the fold.

[WMV format. Save.]

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A ready wit

Benjamin Disraeli and William Gladstone were political rivals who both served as Prime Minister of Britain in the period 1868 - 1880.

Gladstone once accosted Disraeli on the topic of the latter's renowned wit, observing that Disraeli had the reputation of being able to make a joke on any subject. Disraeli responded that that was quite possible.

"Then I challenge you," said Gladstone. "Make a joke about Queen Victoria."

"Sir," replied Disraeli, "Her Majesty is not a subject."

From The Little, Brown Book of Anecdotes.

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