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March 31, 2007

Reach for the stars

"A laugh a day keeps me happy," says Carol.

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Video below the fold.

Save (WMF format)

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Here's a switch

Pinellas County Man Sues Postal Service Over Lunch Break

POSTED: 9:09 am EDT March 23, 2007

TAMPA, Fla. -- A Pinellas County man is suing the US Postal Service over his lunch breaks.

Kenneth Fox said his painful arthritis requires him to keep moving, but his bosses are forcing him to take lunch breaks. So the 55-year-old military veteran decided to sue the postal service under the Americans with Disabilities Act. He claims the mandatory lunch breaks are a violation of his rights under the law.

The lawsuit said allowing Fox to work through lunch is a "reasonable accommodation" required under the Americans With Disabilities Act. It's asking for an injunction and attorneys fees.

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Panic defined

What's the difference between "anxiety" and "panic"?

"Anxiety" occurs the first time you can't do it the second time.

"Panic" occurs the second time you can't do it the first time.

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March 28, 2007

A little follow-up

To last week's item about the 'island house'. (My emphasis in the quote.)

IslandHouse2.jpg
CHONGQING, China -- Visitors and supporters gather to look at a lone surviving house in an excavated construction site in Chongqing, in southwest China. The owners of the house have defied a court order to move, after refusing an offer of compensation from the site developer. The dispute comes days after China's controversial new property law, which protects private property rights, was approved by the country's legislature. (03/26/07 AP photo/EyePress)

Hmm... I wonder what are the odds that we could get a "controversial ... law which protects private property" passed in New Jersey?

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Switch

A very funny parody about competition in the telephone business.

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A yucca minute

From the Arizona Republic [Phoenix daily], back in the 90s:

Arizona is banking on a new slogan to lure millions of visitors and their dollars to the state. It's 'Arizona - One Grand Adventure After Another.' The slogan, picked from more than 20,000 entries, in a contest sponsored by the Arizona Office of Tourism, was announced Wednesday.

Here are some of the losers:

Arizona - Bring your camera and your Grandma
Arizona - Come on vacation, Leave on probation
Arizona - A Yucca Minute
Arizona - You Never Have to Shovel Sunshine
Arizona - Where you can Have a Dirt Lawn and it's OK
Arizona - Come see it, Pilgrim
Arizona has the hots for you
Arizona - The Happy Jumping Cholla State
Get your AZ over here
Hug a zonie
Arizona - The Zippy Zone
Arizona - It will Thaw Your Chilis
Arizona - Sunny with Scattered Flowers
Arizona - Better than the State You're In
Arizona - It's not Kansas and it never was

The winner won a free houseboat vacation on Lake Powell, most of which is in Utah.

Via rec.humor.funny.

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March 27, 2007

Windows 386 ad

This promotional video has to be the goofiest thing I've ever seen. Check it out; you'll be ROFL.

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It's for Windows 386, the immediate precursor to (shudder) Windows 3. I still can't believe IBM let OS/2 lose out to Windows; another example of the triumph of marketing over technology, I suppose.

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Dedication

This one really is an example of "giving 110 percent."

Coach Hits Bench 5 Hours After Giving Birth
Nebraska Coach Can't Get Team Into Tournament

POSTED: 10:14 am EDT March 14, 2007

GRAND FORKS, N.D. -- College basketball coach Carol Russell hates to miss a game -- even to have a baby.

The University of Nebraska-Kearney coach was back on the bench this week about five hours after giving birth to her first baby.

And it was an away game.

Her players probably understand why Russell didn't stand the whole time as she usually does.

Russell said just about everyone in the University of North Dakota field house was doing double-takes when she walked in.

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8 reasons not to mess with children

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to Heaven, I'll ask Jonah."

The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to Hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then you ask him."


A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied,"They will in a minute."



A Sunday school teacher w as discussing the Ten Commandments with her five- and six-year-olds. After explaining the commandment to "honor" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?"
Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."


One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?"

Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white."

The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"



The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture.

"Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.'"

A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher: she's dead."



A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the
face."

"Yes," the class said.

"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"

A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."



The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.
A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."



I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to Heaven. I asked them, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?"

"NO!" the children answered.

"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"

Again, the answer was, "NO!"

By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun! "Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?" I asked them again.

Again, they all answered, "NO!

I was just bursting with pride for them. "Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"

A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."

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March 25, 2007

Now this is valet service

Valet Crashes Car Into Hospital, Hits Car's Owner

POSTED: 8:06 am EDT March 20, 2007

PENSACOLA, Fla. -- A valet accidentally drove an amputee's specially equipped car through a Pensacola hospital's front entrance, knocking the car's owner from his wheelchair.

Police said Adrian Young was bringing the car back to its owner, Harold Towne, Monday when he apparently confused the car's special gas pedal for the brake. Young was attempting to come to a stop at the building's entrance but pressed the wrong pedal, and the car accelerated.

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A Protein Primer

Our contributor says, "Those were the days, my friend -- We thought they'd never end."

The notes at YouTube say:

Directed in 1971 by Robert Alan Weiss for the Department of Chemistry of Stanford University and imprinted with the "free love" aura of the period, this short film continues to be shown in biology class today.
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And I say: this is a curious combination of classroom lecture, interpretive dance, and someone's adaptation of Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky.

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What a gem

I've been waiting a couple of years for the prices of digital cameras to fall enough to make them really cheap. By that I mean cheap enough that I wouldn't mind very much if I lost one; almost disposable in other words. When I saw the first multi-megapixel cameras selling for around $50 last year, I figured the time was getting ripe. Then I ran across Billy Beck raving about the Sanyo C40 and how Radio Shack was letting them go for only $200. While that price moved it out of the "disposable" category, its video capability made it too attractive to pass up.

I was too busy that week to make it to Radio Shack so I missed out. They didn't stay in stock very long at that price. When I finally had a little time to do some searching, I found a used one ("like new, in the box") for sale by an Amazon reseller and bought it for $225. It may not be the best $200 I've ever spent, but it's certainly the best in the tech toys category. This camera is a very fine piece of work.

Here's what it looks like. After you get the view screen up, the lens cap off and you turn it on, you can operate this thing with your thumb.

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With the view screen folded down, it's just a bit larger than a cigarette pack and weighs only 5.5 ounces. So it fits easily into most pockets.

It takes 4 megapixel still images. Here's a still image (pop-up) that I took at a friend's house last night.

Or it takes video at a variety of sizes and frame rates, up to 640 x 480 at 30 frames-per-second. Or it will do both at the same time. Or you can use it as webcam for your PC, if you're running Windows XP or later.

In the HQ recording mode, which is touted as "television quality", you can record up to 2 hours of video on a 2 GB card. If you use SHQ mode (the best), you can record about 85 minutes of video on the same card. The TV quality recordings are not high-def. But they look good - well, as good as TV looks - when played back on a television monitor.

This cam also featues video trimming on the camera and digital stabilization for recording. The stabilization works well: I took a few minutes of video while riding in a car (no, I wasn't driving) and I was amazed at how steady the playback looked.

Since I spent a couple of days on my agricultural project this week, here's 30 seconds of someone getting a lesson in how to drive a John Deere. I trimmed this clip on the camera and then used Sorenson's Squeeze to convert the MPEG4 into this Flash clip.

But wait... there's more. Sanyo ships this thing with a couple of utility programs: Ulead's DVD MovieFactory and a program of their own called MotionDirector. I haven't played with the Ulead software yet, but the MotionDirector program will make a panoramic JPEG or a QuickTime VR 'movie' out of a video clip.

For example, if you pan the camera over a landscape, MotionDirector can generate a panoramic image from a series of frames in the movie. Click in the QuickTime movie below to pan over the landscape.

Whether you're looking for an inexpensive tool so you can hang out your shingle as a Citizen Journalist - or you're just a hobbyist like me - you can do a lot worse than to pick up this cam. I've been very impressed with it.

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March 22, 2007

360° Moscow

Someone's published a 360° panorama of Moscow (done in QuickTime).

Moscow.jpg

Via CFG blog.

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I don't think he likes Macs

Since we just ran one of Apple's "I'm a Mac / I'm a PC" ads, here's a nice rant about both the ad series and Macintoshes in general.

I hate Macs appeared last month in The Guardian:

Ultimately the campaign's biggest flaw is that it perpetuates the notion that consumers somehow "define themselves" with the technology they choose. If you truly believe you need to pick a mobile phone that "says something" about your personality, don't bother. You don't have a personality. A mental illness, maybe - but not a personality.

Via the always interesting Coyote blog

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Bumper sticker of the day

Here's an amusing bumper sticker I caught at the local QuikTrip when I stopped for coffee.

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March 21, 2007

Happy Equinox

O the sun comes up-up-up in the opening

sky(the all the
any merry every pretty each

bird sings birds sing
gay-be-gay because today's today)the
romp cries i and the me purrs

you and the gentle
who-horns says-does moo-woo
(the prance with the
three white its stimpstamps)

the grintgrunt wugglewiggle
champychumpchomps yes
the speckled strut begins to scretch and
scratch-scrutch

and scritch(while
the no-she-yes-he fluffies tittle
tattle did-he-does-she)& the

ree ray rye roh
rowster shouts

rawrOO

e.e. cummings

SpringFlower.jpg

And for the Farsi-speaking readers among you:

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Retrocausality

Some scientists are going to test whether reverse causality -- current events that change the past -- can occur.

Retrocausality offers an alternative explanation. Measuring one entangled particle could send a wave backward through time to the moment at which the pair was created. The signal would not need to move faster than light; it could simply retrace the first particle's path through space-time, arriving back at the spot where the two particles were emitted. There, the wave can interact with the second particle without violating relativity. "Retrocausation is a nice, simple, classical explanation for all this," Dowe says.

Right. One can only admire Mr. Dowe's calling that a "nice, simple... explanation." Of course, anything cooked up by R. Feynman and J. A. Wheeler is bound to make your brain ache.

Via The Dilbert Blog.

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Always Working Together For The People

Here's an curious collection of clips titled Always Working Together For The People, about Kim Il-Sung and his son Kim Jong-il. Kim Il-Sung was the guy who came up with the Juche Idea, the official state ideology of North Korea. (It's not everyone who gets to treat an enitre country as his own personal blank slate.)

It's in seven parts; here's part 1:

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And parts 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, and 7.

Via Songun Blog

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March 20, 2007

Cube dwelling offenses

An entertaining slideshow at eWeek.com.

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Flex your rights

The folks at FlexYourRights.org have a quiz to test your knowledge of your rights when dealing with police. (Via The Agitator.) As my late father-in-law once told me, "If you don't enforce your rights, you don't have any."

The FlexYourRights site also offers a DVD version of BUSTED, a video dealing with the same topic. As it happens, CodeWritinFool sent me a link to BUSTED at Google Video a few months ago. The version at Google Video is 45 minutes long and it may be the same as the DVD version.

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Drag & draw

According to the blurb at YouTube, this is:

Drag and Draw is a set of digital drawing tools. It consists of a multicolor 'Brush', an 'Eraser', and a 'Magic Wand' to bring their drawings to life and a 'Bucket' to project the virtual drawings onto the wall.
DragNDraw.jpg

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March 19, 2007

Juxtaposition

These two stories appeared in succession on the A (as in Australian) BC-FM radio news in the 90s:

...problems continue in the South African black townships. Four people were killed in violent clashes yesterday. A black spokesman said, "This situation is a tragedy for our people; we get no help from the government; blacks are dying and all the whites can do is talk about cricket."

(very brief pause)

Last night at the Sydney Cricket Ground, the South African cricket team defeated Australia in the day-night match.

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It's Miller time

Now here's an automation project that piques my interest - and just in time for March Madness.

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It's a clip made by John Cornwell about his beer-launching refrigerator.

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Panty raid

Our contributor's subject line.

Serial lingerie thief arrested
Wed Mar 14, 2007 8:44AM EDT

TOKYO (Reuters) - Police found more than 4,000 pieces of lingerie in the home of a Japanese construction worker who used climbing skills developed on his job to steal women's underwear.

Police believe that Shigeo Kodama, 54, amassed the 3,977 panties, 355 bras and 10 pairs of stockings over a six-year period. He was arrested in February after he stole underwear from two houses, and police later raided his home.

Lingerie.jpg

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March 17, 2007

Weekend watching

Someone posted the entire program called The Great Global Warming Swindle at YouTube. It's 75 minutes long.

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It comes from Britain's Channel 4. (You can find Channel 4's page for the program here.) The program presents some interesting arguments that warming is caused by solar activity and not by human activity. Specifically, that rising CO2 levels are due to increasing temperature and not the other way round.

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A sad realization

A funny ad from Apple about Microsoft's Vista:

Mac_Vista.jpg

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A reprise

These appeared here a couple of years ago, but they're worth another go since it's St. Patrick's Day.

McQuillan walked into a bar and ordered martini after martini, each time removing the olive and placing it into a jar. When the jar was filled with olives and all the drinks consumed, the Irishman started to leave. "Scuse me," said a customer, who was puzzled over what McQuillan had done. "What was that all about?"

"Nothin' particular," said the Irishman, "me wife just sent me out for a jar of olives!"



An Irishman arrived at J.F.K. Airport and wandered around the terminal with tears streaming down his cheeks. An airline employee asked him if he was already homesick.

"No," replied the Irishman. "I've lost all me luggage!"

"How'd that happen?"

"The cork fell out!"


An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for speeding. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"

"Just water," says the priest.

The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"

The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"



Two Irishmen were sitting in a pub having a beer and watching the brothel across the street. They saw a Baptist minister walk into the brothel and one of them said, "Aye, 'tis a pure shame to see a man of the cloth goin' bad."

Then they saw a Rabbi enter the brothel, and the other Irshman said, "Aye, 'tis a shame to see that the Jews are fallin' victim to temptation."

Then they saw a Catholic priest enter the brothel, and one of the Irishmen said, "What a terrible pity... One of the girls must be quite ill."



Two Irishmen, Patrick & Michael, were adrift in a lifeboat following a dramatic escape from a burning freighter. While rummaging through the boat's provisions, Patrick stumbled across an old lamp. Secretly hoping that a genie would appear, he rubbed the lamp vigorously. To his amazement, a genie came forth. This particular genie, however, stated that he could only deliver one wish, not the standard three. Without giving much thought to the matter, Patrick blurted out, "Make the entire ocean into Guinness!"

The genie clapped his hands with a deafening crash, and immediately the entire sea turned into the finest brew ever sampled by mortals. Simultaneously, the genie vanished. Only the gentle lapping of Guinness on the hull broke the stillness as the two men considered their circumstances. Michael looked disgustedly at Patrick whose wish had been granted.

After a long, tension-filled moment, he spoke: "Nice going, Patrick! Now we're going to have to pee in the boat!"



Murphy was staggering home with a pint of booze in his back pocket when he slipped and fell heavily. Struggling to his feet, he felt something wet running down his leg. "Please Lord," he implored, "let it be blood!"


An Irishman had been drinking at a pub all night. The bartender finally said that the bar was closing. So, the Irishman stood up to leave & fell flat on his face. He tried to stand one more time - same result. He figured he'll crawl outside and get some fresh air and maybe that will sober him up.

Once outside, he stood up and fell on his face again. So he decided to crawl the four blocks home. When he reached his bed he tried one more time to stand up. This time he managed to pull himself upright, but he quickly fell right into the bed and was sound asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. He was awakened the next morning to his wife standing over him, shouting, "SO YOU'VE BEEN DRINKING AGAIN!"

Putting on an innocent look, and intent on bluffing it out he said, "What makes you say that?"

"The pub just called; you left your wheelchair there again."

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A room with a view

Not a particularly nice view, mind you. But at least it's not New Jersey - where they'd have just taken his house against his wishes.

House is an island

Developers have turned a house into an island in China after the owner refused to move out.

Developers turned a house into an island after the owner refused to move out in Chongqing city, China /Lu Feng

The villa now stands alone in a 30ft deep man-made pit in Chongqing city, reports Jinbao Daily.

The Chongqing Zhengsheng Real Estate Company wants to turn the area into a £40m 'Broadway' square, including apartments and a shopping mall.

But the owner of the villa says he won't move out unless the company pays his price - the equivalent of £1.3 million.

IslandVilla.jpg

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March 15, 2007

Goodbye to the normals

An amusing trailer for a movie called Goodbye to the Normals. Mind the volume: there's a brief bit of profanity at the end.

GoodbyeToNormals.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Who's there?

From "New Explorers", on PBS, 2/18/92:

According to a brain surgeon who does "hemispherectomies" to treat severe seizures:

I had one little girl as a patient who told knock-knock jokes; we removed her left brain and she still told knock-knock jokes. I had another little girl as a patient who told knock-knock jokes; we removed her right brain and she still told knock-knock jokes.

So I have to conclude that knock-knock jokes aren't in the brain.

Via rec.humor.funny.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Balloon art

I don't know where they came from, but Carol sends these 32 images of balloon artwork:

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balloon_14.jpg

balloon_15.jpg

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balloon_17.jpg

balloon_18.jpg

balloon_19.jpg

balloon_20.jpg

balloon_21.jpg

balloon_22.jpg

balloon_23.jpg

balloon_24.jpg

balloon_25.jpg

balloon_26.jpg

balloon_27.jpg

balloon_28.jpg

balloon_29.jpg

balloon_30.jpg

balloon_31.jpg

balloon_32.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:30 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

A man and his dogma

Dog Saved By Mouth-To-Snout Revival
Lucy Jumped Into Partially Frozen Lake

POSTED: 5:36 pm EST March 10, 2007

OMAHA, Neb. -- A retired Air Force pilot saved the life of one of his "best buddies" by using mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

It didn't matter that Lucy is a 10-month-old English bulldog.

As Randy Gurchin put it, "Once you get a pet, it's truly part of your family."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:29 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

March 10, 2007

Rachmaninoff's big hands

The piano teacher's daughter says, " I thought this was a stitch, especially since I used to play this piece and remember what a workout it was for the hands!"

BigHands.jpg

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Depends on your assumptions

The professor had the following as an extra credit question on an exam:

An age-old question is "How many angels can dance on the head of a pin?" Answer that question given the following:

Each angel requires an area equal to a circle with a diameter the size of a gold atom in which to dance.

The pin in question has a head which is a circular plane with a diameter of 0.5 mm.

Make any other assumptions necessary to solve the problem.

The professor was sorry to admit that he had to give full credit to the following answer:

I assume that angels do not exist. The answer is 0.

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March 08, 2007

More cute animal action - IV

Nine more images of cute animals.

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MoreAnimals_36.jpg

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Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (12) | TrackBack

Thanks a lot

This one's a little dated, but still pretty funny.

My heartfelt appreciation goes out to all of you who have taken the time and trouble to send me "forwards" over the past twelve months. Thank you for making me feel safe, secure, blessed and wealthy.

- Extra thanks for the ones that I have to open 15 times before getting to the actual message.

- Special thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat crap in the glue on envelopes - cuz I now have to go get a wet towel every time I need to seal an envelope.

- Also, I scrub the top of every can I open for the same reason. Because of your concern, I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can remove toilet stains and dissolve hamburgers in a few hours.

- I no longer use Saran Wrap in the microwave because it causes cancer.

- I no longer check the coin return on payphones because I could be pricked by a needle infected with AIDS.

- I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

- I no longer go to shopping malls because someone might drug me with a perfume sample and rob me.

- I no longer receive packages from or send packages by UPS or FedEx as they are actually Al Qaeda in disguise.

- I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number from which I will receive a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda, Singapore and Uzbekistan.

- I no longer eat KFC because their "chickens" are actually horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers.

- I no longer have any sneakers -- but that will change when I receive my free replacement pair from Nike.

- I no longer have to buy expensive cookies from Neiman Marcus since I now have their recipe.

- I no longer worry about my soul because at last count I have 363,214 angels looking out for me.

- Thanks to you, I have learned that God only answers my prayers if I forward an email to seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

- I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl who is about to die in the hospital (for the 1,387th time).

- I no longer have any money at all - but that will change once I receive the $15,000 that Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their email program.

- I can no longer use my credit card in a public place cuz someone with a camera will get the number and charge all kinds of wild things on my credit card.

- I no longer drink beer cuz I need it to wash my hair to make it shiny and lustrous.

- I now walk around with Bounty Sheets sticking out of my ears to keep the mosquitoes away.

Yes, I want to thank you so much for looking out for me that I will now return the favor:

If you don't e-mail this to at least 144,000 people in the next seven minutes, a large pigeon with a wicked case of diarrhea will land on your head at 5PM (EST) this afternoon. I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in law's second husband's cousin's beautician and now she has the avian bird flu.

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A little L'eau du Robinet, madame?

Here's a hilarious clip about bottled water at Google video.

BottledWaterBS.jpg

The narrator sounded a lot like Penn Jillette and I discovered that this clip comes from Penn & Teller's HBO series Bullshit! See this reference.

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March 07, 2007

The Great Firewall

The GreatFirewallOfChina.org runs a site to test for URL blocking within China.

GreatWall.jpg

I've been wondering why I get hits from parts of Asia but none from China -- now I know why.

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Holy thirst quencher, Batman!

Man Peddles 'Holy' Bottled Water

POSTED: 12:47 pm EST March 6, 2007
UPDATED: 1:03 pm EST March 6, 2007

LINDEN, Calif. -- A Stockton, Calif.-area businessman is peddling blessed bottled water.

The half-liter bottles of Holy Drinking Water are being distributed by Wayne Enterprises. They only carry the blessings of Catholic and Anglican priests, but company President Brian Germann plans to expand to other faiths.

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Raw tea in the parlor

Makes the ladies holler.

Speaking of thirst-quenchers, here's a pretty funny ad from Smirnoff:

TeaPartay.jpg

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March 05, 2007

Deadstick diver

Here's a clip about a pilot who likes to practice "energy management" maneuvers -- flying a powered craft as a glider. Note the still propellors below.

DeadstickAce.jpg
Update: CodeWritinFool writes, "I had the pleasure of seeing Bob Hoover perform 'energy management' live and with my own eyes. The year was 1992 or 1993 and he flew that same model of airplane in your clip. The guy was just amazing."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What a proposition

One day, a man came home and was greeted by his wife in a very sexy nightie. "Tie me up," she purred, "and you can do anything you want."

So he tied her up and went fishing.

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The dues are going up

..to join the Mile High Club.

Flight Attendant Fired For Mid-Flight Sex With Actor
Ralph Fiennes Says She Was Aggressor

POSTED: 9:54 pm EST February 19, 2007

SYDNEY, Australia -- A flight attendant who told a newspaper she joined the Mile High Club with Ralph Fiennes has been fired.

Australian Lisa Robertson, 38, said she had sex with Fiennes in the Qantas plane's bathroom last month during a nine-hour flight.

Robertson told London's Daily Mail on Sunday that after her unprotected sexual encounter in the bathroom, she went to his hotel room and had sex with him several more times.

"I know some people will think it's disgusting. And I'm not proud of what I did -- it was inappropriate behavior," she told the paper. "But I don't regret it. Ralph is gorgeous and the chemistry between us was amazing. What woman wouldn't want to make love with him? This sort of attraction happens to people all the time. It's just not usually with a Hollywood star at 35,000 feet."

She told the paper that they flirted all through the flight and later in the evening when she went to take a break, "The English Patient" actor came to talk to her. She said they chatted, then began to make out before going into the bathroom to have sex.

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March 04, 2007

Surreal-o-vision

Here are the Teapacks, an Israeli group, doing Push the Button, the song that will represent Israel in the Eurovision Song Contest 2007 in Helsinki. It's a curiosity... sung in English, French and Hebrew.

PushTheButton.jpg

And if that's not strange enough, here's a segment from a German news program about the Burka Band doing their song Burka Blue.
BurkaBlue.jpg

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