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October 31, 2007

Happy Hallowe'en

This image comes from digital-photography-school.com

JackOLanterns.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:10 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Whoa!

Last Halloween, my wife was handling candy duty when a trio of children, costumed as a witch, a pumpkin, and a princess, arrived at the door. She had spent some time arranging the lollipops, candy bars and other sweets in a metal bowl and was quite proud of the results. The three children said "Trick of Treat!", and as she presented the bowl, they were clearly impressed.

"Whooooaaaaa!" they all marveled in unison.

My wife beamed, offering each child two pieces of candy. As the children were walking away from the door, my wife overheard one of them saying, "See, they really go for that 'whoa' thing!"

Via.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Howl'oween

From Long Beach, CA, it's video of the Haute Dog Howl'oween Parade:

Howloween.jpg

Yet more reasons why dogs hate Hallowe'en.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Boo!

So how were those "beef" enchiladas?

Restaurant Closed After Deer Carcass Found
Business Reopens On Probation After Two-Day Closure

POSTED: 8:22 am EDT October 30, 2007
UPDATED: 4:51 pm EDT October 30, 2007

GREENCASTLE, Ind. -- A Mexican restaurant in Greencastle, Ind., was closed for nearly two days after a health inspector noticed a deer carcass had been butchered on the kitchen floor, officials said.

[...]

The deer was roadkill that a Department of Natural Resources officer offered to restaurant employees. An employee signed for the carcass and took it to the kitchen, officials said.

And if that's not scary enough...

Center Treats Wrong Side Of Patient's Brain
Patient Treated At Cancer Center

POSTED: 8:30 am EDT October 30, 2007
UPDATED: 8:49 pm EDT October 30, 2007

DETROIT -- A patient undergoing treatment at the Karmanos Cancer Institute in Detroit received a dose of radiation on the wrong side of the brain, according to a report filed with the United States Nuclear Regulatory Commission.

According to the report, a crucial piece of information was misread prior to treatment with a gamma knife, which delivers a targeted form of radiation therapy that zeros in on specific locations in the brain.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 30, 2007

Penthouse parking

A story from Reuters about hi-rise condos in Manhattan that have individual garages on the same floor.

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Posted by joke du jour at 06:47 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

For all you over-achievers

What does it mean to "give 100%"? What does it mean to give more than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We've all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%?

So what makes up 100% in life? Here's a mathematical approach that might help you answer these questions.

If we substitute
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26
for
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z,
then
H A R D W O R K
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and
K N O W L E D G E
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%.

But wait!

A T T I T U D E
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

and
B U L L S H I T
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%.

Now look how far ass-kissing will take you:
A S S K I S S I N G
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%.

So one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it's the bullshit and the ass-kissing that will put you over the top.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:47 PM

Dense indeed

OrangeGuru recently returned to blogging and he posts here about some photos of Hong Kong by Michael Wolf. Many of them reminded me of scenes from The Matrix.

ArchitectureOfDensity.jpg

Doing a little googling, it appears that these probably came from Mr. Wolf's work Architecture of Density. You can find Wolf's site here.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:46 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Texas Metareport

State report says Texas has too many reports

Associated Press

AUSTIN — The Texas State Library and Archives Commission is declaring there are too many state reports.

It says so in a 668-page report.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 29, 2007

Jar head

A.E. sends a link to this seasonal decorative piece.

HeadInJar.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

How to dress for the occasion

Haunted House Workers Enter Bloody Matrimony
Minister Dresses As Grim Reaper

POSTED: 12:40 pm EDT October 26, 2007

BEREA, Ohio -- As well-wishing zombies and witches looked on, a couple got married at the haunted house where they work.

Tina Milhoane, 22, and Robert Seifer III, 24, exchanged vows Wednesday at the entrance to the 7 Floors of Hell haunted house's outdoor cemetery.

The groom made his entrance in a hearse, emerging from a coffin borne by six pallbearers.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Fight for Kisses

A funny clip (and game) for Wilkinson razors.

FightForKisses.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

FEMA marches on

From Scrappleface:

Next, FEMA Plans to Stage “Natural” Disasters
by Scott Ott for ScrappleFace

(2007-10-29) — With the success of last week’s simulated news conference on the California wildfires by the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA), mid-level bureaucrats at the disaster-relief agency have reportedly initiated plans to stage “natural” disasters as well.

The imitation news briefing, which featured FEMA employees pretending to be genuine journalists, was “just a test run for the more ambitious pilot program of engineered catastrophes designed to help even out the work flow during the year,” according to one unnamed source inside the agency.

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October 26, 2007

Over Everest

Here's a clip about Angelo D'Arrigo's flight over Mt. Everest in a hang glider.

OverEverest.jpg

The clip is sort of a mash-up on a couple of topics but it has some very nice images of the mountains starting about 2:00 into it.

Via.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Clintons

Ann Althouse posted this Photoshopped image of the Clintons that I found amusing.

Clintons.jpg

The original picture appeared in the L.A. Times. The text is a quote of something Hillary said (last year, IIRC).

Posted by joke du jour at 08:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Saving the airlines

Since I'm on the subject of the Clintons, here's an oldie from Lou

How to Save the Airlines:

Dump the male flight attendants. No one wanted them in the first place.

Replace all the female flight attendants with good-looking strippers! What the hell -- They don't even serve food anymore, so what's the loss?

The strippers would at least triple the alcohol sales and get a "party atmosphere" going in the cabin. And, of course, every businessman in this country would start flying again, hoping to see naked women.

Because of the tips, female flight attendants wouldn't need a salary, thus saving even more money. I suspect tips would be so good that we could charge the women for working the plane and have them kick back 20% of the tips, including lap dances and "special services."

Muslims would be afraid to get on the planes for fear of seeing naked women. Hijackings would come to a screeching halt, and the airline industry would see record revenues.

This is definitely a win-win situation if we handle it right -- a golden opportunity to turn a liability into an asset.

Why didn't Bush think of this? Do I still have to do everything myself?

Sincerely,

Bill Clinton

Posted by joke du jour at 07:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 25, 2007

Young Gallery

The Young Gallery in Brussels exhibits photography and has a large collection of images by various photographers at its site. This one is by David Drebin.

TheCoast.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

First things first

A guy walked into a bar and sat down next to an extremely gorgeous woman. While discretely admiring her, he noticed her pants. They were skin-tight, high-waisted and had no obvious fasteners -- no zippers or buttons or anything else that he could spot.

After several minutes of puzzling over how she got the pants over her hips, he finally worked up the nerve to ask her. "Excuse me, miss, but how do you get into those pants?"

"Well," she replied, "you could start by buying me a drink..."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Monster video display

This video features the largest LCD display I've ever seen. It's called the Sky Screen and is near a shopping center called The Place in Beijing. This image shows fish swimming, as though looking into an aquarium from beneath.

GiantLCD.jpg

The designer says, "...the Sky Screen is 2,296' long — a city block — and is 88' wide by 80' high. The viewing surface, clad entirely with LED modules, makes the square-footage a close second to the Fremont Street Experience in Las Vegas, the largest single screen in the world."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Reverse trick-or-treat

Dentist Offers Cash In Exchange For Halloween Candy

POSTED: 9:29 am EDT October 25, 2007
UPDATED: 9:48 am EDT October 25, 2007

DELAND, Fla. -- Instead of lecturing against candy, a Deland dentist has figured out another way to protect youngsters' teeth during Halloween: Cash.

Doctor Mark Mathias is offering to pay kids $5 for 2 pounds of collected candy. They have to drop it off at his office Halloween evening.

The treats will not go to waste, however. Mathias plans to ship them to troops serving overseas.

So do they egg his office if he doesn't take their candy?

Posted by joke du jour at 07:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 24, 2007

Wing suit base jumping

These European base jumpers fly their wing suits as close to the mountainsides as they can.

WingSuitJumping.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What more did you want?

During a particularly wet winter, flood waters rose so high in one town that the national guard started evacuating all the residents. One man stayed behind, however, and when the water was waist-high, two national guardsmen in a boat motored past his house, checking for people left behind.

"We're evacuating the town because of the flood! Jump in the boat and we'll carry you to safety!"

But the man said, "No, don't bother; I have faith that the Lord will save me."

The men in the boat shrugged their shoulders and motored away. Later, when the water level had driven the man onto his roof, another boat appeared.

"Haven't you heard the town has been evacuated? Come on, we'll save you!"

But the man sent them away again saying, "No, no, the Lord will save me!"

The water level kept rising until the man was standing on his chimney and barely keeping his head above water. A helicopter, making a final check, appeared overhead. A rope dropped and the loudspeaker said, "Grab the rope and we'll bring you to safety!"

But the man waved the helicopter away once again saying, "No, the Lord will save me!"

But the water level kept rising, and he was drowned.

When he got to Heaven, he was completely bewildered. He asked God, "God, why didn't you save me?"

And God said, "Well, I did send you two boats and a helicopter..."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Goodbye Art

Phil Hansen does some projects he calls goodbye art that he makes with odd things: pine cones, small candles and (shown below) the grease from french fries.

GoodbyeArt.jpg

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October 23, 2007

Super spud gun

Popular Mechanics has an article about one way to get regular exercise.

PotatoGun.jpg

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An odd roommate

Woman Wants Service Horse As Roommate
Miniature Horse A Service Animal

POSTED: 8:53 am EDT October 23, 2007

WARREN, Vt. -- The Central Vermont Community Land Trust usually has no objection to a service animal moving into its apartments.

But Patty Cooper's service animal is a horse of a different color: a black and white miniature horse, to be exact.

I can't help but wonder whether this woman's related to Catherine the Great.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sketches

There's some pretty clever sketching in this clip.

OsSeminoros.jpg

H.T. Carol.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Interesting widgets

TubeStop is a nice extension for Firefox which will defeat the auto-play feature on YouTube videos. Meaning that they don't start downloading and playing until you hit the Play button. If you often have several links to YouTube open, this can be real handy. I've tried this and like it.

YouConvertIt is a site where you can convert document, image, audio and video files after uploading them. I haven't tried this one (because an e-mail address is required) but it looks interesting. I noted that you can convert audio to AAC (Apple's audio codec, used for iPod) but I don't know whether you can convert from AAC to anything else.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 22, 2007

Only in Japan

Fearing Crime, Japanese Wear the Hiding Place

By MARTIN FACKLER
Published: October 20, 2007

TOKYO, Oct. 19 — On a narrow Tokyo street, near a beef bowl restaurant and a pachinko parlor, Aya Tsukioka demonstrated new clothing designs that she hopes will ease Japan’s growing fears of crime.

Deftly, Ms. Tsukioka, a 29-year-old experimental fashion designer, lifted a flap on her skirt to reveal a large sheet of cloth printed in bright red with a soft drink logo partly visible. By holding the sheet open and stepping to the side of the road, she showed how a woman walking alone could elude pursuers — by disguising herself as a vending machine.

UrbanCamo.jpg

Check out the slideshow.

Via.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

All-terrain skateboard

An all-terrain skateboarder races a Mitsubishi Evo 7 downhill in this clip from Top Gear.

Evo7_Skateboarder.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Don't mess with Bill

Police: Man Found On Plane With Three Gunshot Wounds

POSTED: 8:53 am EDT October 22, 2007
UPDATED: 9:00 am EDT October 22, 2007

TAMPA, Fla. -- Maybe William Notaro really, really needed to make it home. Authorities said Notaro attempted to fly from Tampa to Albany, New York, with three gunshot wounds, and only asked for a Band-Aid.

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October 19, 2007

How to Deal with Trick-or-Treaters

Another Basic Instruction from Scott Meyer. This is the first of four panels.

BI_TrickOrTreat.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Bugs

This article's a little dated now (it's been in the queue a long time) but still worth a look.

Why we all sell code with bugs

Creating quality software products means knowing when to fix bugs and when to leave well alone, writes Eric Sink

Thursday May 25, 2006
The Guardian

The world's six billion people can be divided into two groups: group one, who know why every good software company ships products with known bugs; and group two, who don't. Those in group 1 tend to forget what life was like before our youthful optimism was spoiled by reality. Sometimes we encounter a person in group two, a new hire on the team or a customer, who is shocked that any software company would ship a product before every last bug is fixed.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Mirror magic

This is a very funny prank; it reminds me of Candid Camera.

MirrorTrick.jpg

It's in German, without subtitles, but actions speak louder than words, eh? And the trick is revealed at the end.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dear Alcohol

Carol sends this Letter to Alcohol (but you shouldn't assume that she's the author :-)

First and foremost, let me tell you that I'm a huge fan of yours. As my friend, you always seem to be there when needed. The perfect post-work cocktail, the beer at the game, and you're even around at the holidays (hidden in the chocolates as you warm us when we're stuck in the midst of endless family gatherings). But lately I've been wondering about your intentions. While I want to believe that you have my best interests at heart, I feel that your influence has led to some unacceptable consequences.

1. Phone Calls and text messages: While I agree with you that communication is important, I question the suggestion that any conversation after 2 AM can have much substance or necessity. Why would you make me call my ex? Especially when I know, for a fact, they DO NOT want to hear from me during the day, let alone all hours of the night.

2. Eating: Now you know I love a good meal. But why do you suggest that I eat a taco with chili sauce along with a big Italian meatball and some stale chips (washed down with wine & topped off with a Kit Kat) AFTER a few cheese curls & chili cheese fries? I'm an eclectic eater but, I think you went too far this time.

3. Clumsiness: Unless you're subtly trying to tell me that I need to do more yoga to improve my balance, I see NO need to hammer this issue home by causing me to fall down. It's completely unnecessary and the black & blue marks that appear on my body mysteriously the next day are beyond me. Similarly, it should never take me more than 45 seconds to get the front door key into the lock.

4. Furthermore: The hangovers have GOT to stop! This is getting ridiculous. I know a little penance for our previous evening's debauchery may be in order. But, the 3 PM hangover immobility is completely unacceptable. My entire day is shot. I ask that if the proper precautions are taken (water, vitamin B, bread products, aspirin) prior to going to sleep/passing out (face down on the kitchen floor with a bag of popcorn or wherever), then the hangover should be minimal and in no way interfere with my daily activities.

Alcohol, I have enjoyed our friendship for some years now and would like to ensure that we remain on good terms. You've been the invoker of great stories, the provoker of much laughter, and a helpful companion when I just don't know what to do with the extra money in my pockets.

In order to continue this friendship, I ask that you carefully review my grievances above and address them immediately. I will look for an answer no later than Friday 3 PM [pre-Happy Hour] on your possible solutions. Hopefully we can continue this fruitful partnership.

Thank you,

Your Biggest Fan

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October 18, 2007

International Photography Awards

Phottle blog has a very large collection of impressive images that won Pilsner Urquell International Photography Awards.

Supertanker.jpg

This one took second place in the Annual Report division. It's called Building the Supertanker (John Rae, New York).

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

He's back

Controversial Chocolate Jesus Exhibit Set

POSTED: 10:37 am EDT October 18, 2007
UPDATED: 10:46 am EDT October 18, 2007

NEW YORK -- It angered Catholics before an April exhibit was canceled, but a chocolate Jesus is being resurrected at a New York Art Gallery.

The six-foot milk chocolate sculpture titled "My Sweet Lord" depicts a nude, anatomically correct Jesus Christ hanging from an invisible cross. It will be flanked by a set of chocolate Catholic icons, including the Virgin Mary and half a dozen saints when the exhibit opens later this month.

The original exhibit had been scheduled to open four days before Good Friday, when Christians mark Christ's crucifixion. That prompted an outcry and even death threats directed at the artist who created it.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Taking it off

A.E. sends a link to this Hallowe'en striptease.Marginally SFW.

HalloweenStripper.jpg

I can't imagine why the audio track is Candle in the Wind but, aside from that, it's pretty well done.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Bad news

Moses returned from the mountain and said unto his people: "The good news is we got them down to ten."

"The bad news is that adultery is still on the list."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 17, 2007

Table cloth championship

This clip's sort of curious, even by the standards of Japanese television. Check out the second contestant.

Tablecloth.jpg

But I have to admit that the winner sure yanks a mean tablecloth.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Tongue twisters

Things that are difficult to say when drunk:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

Things that are very difficult to say when drunk:

1. Specificity
2. British Constitution
3. Passive-Aggressive Disorder

Things that are downright impossible to say when drunk:

1. Thanks, but I don't want to have sex.
2. Nope, no more beer for me.
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Good evening, officer isn’t it lovely out tonight?
5. Oh, I couldn't... No one wants to hear me sing

Posted by joke du jour at 06:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Do what?

Carol sends this amusing image of a bloodhound that seems to feel put-upon. Click for a larger view.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 16, 2007

Trophy wife

Bob, a 70-year-old and extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25-year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm. She hangs onto Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word.

His buddies at the club are all aghast. At the very first chance, they corner him and ask, "Bob, how did you get the trophy girlfriend?"

"Girlfriend? She's my wife!"

They're even more amazed. "So, how did you persuade her to marry you?"

"I lied about my age," Bob replies.

"What, did you tell her you were only 50?"

Bob smiles and says, "No, I told her I was 90."

Via.

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How to impress your boss

This clip shows one method.

PigeonFood.jpg

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Drama in the courtroom

A story from Bill.

A seven-year old boy was at the center of a St Louis County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.

The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her. When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.

After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. After two court recesses to check legal references and to confer with the child welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the St Louis Rams, who he firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Hey, the Chiefs are in first place. :-)

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10 years on for Cassini-Huygens

Wired has a collection of several photos taken by the Huygens probe of Saturn and its satellites.

Cassini-Huygens.jpg

Cassini-Huygens is a collaboration between NASA, ESA and Agenzia Spaziale Italiana that was launched October 15, 1997.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:59 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 15, 2007

Ready, aim...

Here's a clip about some guys firing an Eryx anti-tank missile. It's a French-Canadian collaboration, manufactured both in France and in Quebec (apparently).

EryxFiring.jpg

H.T. CodeWritinFool

Posted by joke du jour at 06:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Simple math

A middle-aged couple were discussing their plans. "When I'm eighty," the man said to his wife, "I plan on finding myself a pretty twenty-year-old and having myself a real fine time."

The wife is a bit fazed by this but she thinks of a clever riposte. "And when I'm eighty, I plan on finding myself a handsome twenty-year-old, too... And twenty goes into eighty more times than eighty goes into twenty!"

Posted by joke du jour at 06:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dancing cockatoo

Snowball is a medium sulphur-crested Eleanora cockatoo and he loves to dance and sing. He loves the Back Street Boys. No one taught Snowball to dance...he just heard this song and suddenly felt like dancing. We're all jealous because he can outdance each one of us...nobody likes a show off! When he's really in the mood, he dances and sings. And at the end of the performance he takes a bow or two or twenty!! Enjoy the show.
Snowball.jpg

H.T.: Carol

Posted by joke du jour at 06:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Determination

This is one determined kid.

6-Year-Old Crashes Car Cruising For Food
Police: Boy Was In Child Seat While Driving

POSTED: 7:49 pm EDT October 9, 2007
UPDATED: 1:05 pm EDT October 10, 2007

BROOMFIELD, Colo. -- A small power outage in Broomfield, Colo., was blamed on a 6-year-old boy who decided he was hungry and wanted to drive his grandmother's car to a nearby restaurant while sitting in his child seat.

He didn't get that far.

The car came to a stop after striking an electrical box around 8:30 a.m.

The boy was not hurt in the crash.

Police said the boy grabbed the keys to his grandmother's car, moved his booster seat from the back into the driver's seat, started the engine and put the car in reverse.

He wanted to go to Applebee's.

Applebee's? Feh...

Posted by joke du jour at 06:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 14, 2007

Don't step in the art

Three visitors rescued after falling into Tate Modern's £300,000 trench artwork
Last updated at 16:51pm on 10th October 2007

Three women have been hurt by falling into Tate Modern's latest installation - a crack in the floor.

At 548 feet long, up to three feet deep and 10inches wide, it zigzags the length of the Turbine Hall and has been described as a highly original work of art.

TateCrack.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 12:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Don't step in the art II

This is a sculpture by Cai Guo-Qiang called Head On, which appeared at the Deutsche Guggenheim in Berlin last year.

WolfStream.jpg

It's a pack of 99 life-sized wolves barreling in a continuous stream towards - and into - a constructed glass wall. (The wolves were never alive.)

Posted by joke du jour at 12:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Give one, get one

This clip by David Pogue, a technology columnist for the New York Times, is about the XO "$100 laptop". Next month XO will have an interesting promotion for their goal of getting laptops into the hands of kids who can't afford them.

XoLaptop.jpg
Starting November 12, One Laptop Per Child will be offering a Give 1 Get 1 Program for a brief window of time in North America. For $399, you will be purchasing two XO laptops—one that will be sent to empower a child to learn in a developing nation, and one that will be sent to your child at home. If you're interested in Give 1 Get 1, we'll be happy to send you a reminder email. Just sign up in the box to the left and you'll receive your reminder prior to the November 12 launch date.

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October 10, 2007

Rocket geeks

Two guys in Amarillo built and launched a 1/4 scale Colonial Viper (from the series Battlestar Galactica).

RocketInPocket.jpg

They did up the christening proper-like at their local Hooters.

And one of them has a pretty nice astrophotography site.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Ever seen a megabuck?

The BBC reports that some cat in Pittsburgh asked a store to change this.

Megabuck.jpg

Via.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Robo-doctor

A man had a very painful elbow. He went to see his doctor, who told him to rest it. No treatment was required, it was just tennis elbow.

Rather dissatisfied, he decided to go to a new computer-based medical service that had just opened up. He went inside the building and found the terminal and there were no people in sight. The instructions told him to slide his credit card through the slot to pay the $150 fee. When he had done this, he was asked screen after screen of questions about himself, until eventually a specimen bottle appeared. The instructions on the screen said, "Provide urine specimen and insert bottle into slot on left." He did that and a few seconds later, the screen read:

Diagnosis: Tennis elbow

Treatment: Rest

Now he wasn't very happy at spending $150 just hear the same thing his doctor had told him. So he thought, "I can get the better of this machine."

He went home, took a bottle and put some of his dog's droppings, some of his daughter's urine, some crankcase oil from his car and some of his own semen into a bottle and he mixed them thoroughly. Then he went back to the automated medical center.

He waved his card through the slot, answered the questions again and poured his mixture into the sample bottle when asked. There was a very long pause this time.

About 15 minutes later, the screen read.

Diagnoses:

1. Your dog has rabies
2. Your daughter is pregnant
3. Your car is going to throw a rod soon
4. If you don't stop wanking, your tennis elbow will never get better.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Color bunnies

The people at Sony sure give good ad. But then I'm a sucker for almost any type of claymation. This stop-motion film was shot in New York City.

SonyBravia.jpg

Via.

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October 09, 2007

Predictable parents

Sounds like New Year's is a pretty special day for Jenna & Bill.

Family Has Three Kids, One Birthday
Babies Born In 2003, 2006, 2007

POSTED: 4:05 pm EDT October 5, 2007

MARYSVILLE, Ohio -- It won't take much for Jenna and William Cotton to remember the birthday of the newest member of their family.

Daughter Kayla was born Tuesday, which was Oct. 2 -- the same date her brothers were born on.

Ayden Cotton arrived on Oct. 2, 2003; Logan was born Oct. 2, 2006.

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A matter of faith

Lou sends this funny story.

A man started construction on a new tavern in a small, conservative town. The local Baptist church began a campaign to block the pub from opening with petitions and prayers. Work progressed on the new tavern, though, right up till the week before opening - when a lightning strike hit the building and it burned to the ground.

The church folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, until the tavern owner sued the church on the grounds that the church was ultimately responsible for the destruction of his building: either through direct or indirect actions and/or means. The church vehemently denied all responsibility for or any connection to the building's destruction in its reply to the court.

When the case came up for a hearing, the judge looked over the paperwork and commented, "I don't know how I'm going to decide this, but it appears that we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and an entire church congregation that doesn't!"

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More human animation

A couple of months ago, I had a post about a human-animation show at a Samsung celebration in Korea, where the display was made by people in multi-colored capes. (I think they were capes.)

Here's a very similar clip of Korean people at a soccer game (I believe), as they form images in the stands. I'm not sure what this pastime says about Korea and Koreans, but I have to admit it makes for fascinating YouTube clips.

KoreanAnimation.jpg

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Yeah... what he said

In this article at Fox News - Al Sharpton Vows to Protest Unless Isiah Thomas Apologizes to Women - New York Knicks coach Isiah Thomas is quoted as saying:

"You can't say that. You can say what you didn't say because if you say what you didn't say, than y'all print what is said. That's how you got me on the Bird stuff," Thomas said. "Whenever you say something, it just twists it."

And you thought those quotes from athletic types were made up, didn't you?

Via.

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October 08, 2007

You will learn

A few weeks back, on the Dilbert blog, I ran across mention of Scott Meyer's Basic Instructions cartoon site. I have yet to read one of those comics that I didn't find very amusing.

Scott's latest Basic Instruction is How to Write a Haiku. Here's the second of four panels:

BI_Haiku.jpg

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Psychiatrist pron

A man goes to a psychiatrist. The psychiatrist suggests that they start off with a Rorschach test. So he holds up the first picture and asks the man what he sees. "A man and a woman making love in a park," the man replies.

The psychiatrist holds up the second picture and asks the man what he sees. "A man and a woman making love in a boat."

He holds up the third picture. "A man and a woman making love at the beach."

This goes on for the rest of the set of pictures; with the man saying he sees a couple making love in every one of the pictures. At the end of the test, the psychiatrist looks over his notes and says, "It seems like you have a preoccupation with sex."

"Me?" says the patient. "You're the one with the dirty pictures!"

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Too many jokes to count

Jay Leno has Marian Morris and her resuscitated chicken on his show.

LenoChicken.jpg

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October 06, 2007

Walk For a Cure

I generally avoid blegs and publicizing good causes, but every rule has its exceptions. My favorite schoolmarm is organizing a walk-a-thon to raise money for colon cancer research.

If you live in the St. Louis area and want to check this out, click on the image or first link below for full details. St. Albans is just across the Franklin County line, near Labadie on Highway T (AKA St. Albans Road). That's a few miles west of the intersection of Routes 100 and 109.

WalkLogo.gif
Saturday October 6th, 2007 from 12.30 – 2.30 PM
At St. Albans Lake, just off Highway T

CALLING ALL WALKERS or RUNNERS - PLEASE JOIN US AND HELP THIS VITAL RESEARCH
Come along on the day and enjoy the beautiful surroundings and fall colors by the lake.

Donations or sponsorship to benefit:
Missouri Baptist Cancer Center and the
National Colorectal Cancer Research Alliance (NCCRA)

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October 05, 2007

Bowling backwards

Here's a guy from Tennessee who can bowl backwards. It started with a bet, naturally.

BackwardsBowler.jpg

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Without a leg to stand on

Man's Leg Found In Smoker To Be Returned
Buyer Of Smoker Had Wanted To Keep Leg

POSTED: 7:09 am EDT October 4, 2007
UPDATED: 12:17 pm EDT October 4, 2007

MAIDEN, N.C. -- A South Carolina man who mistakenly lost his amputated leg when it was sold in a barbecue smoker at a public auction will get the appendage back, authorities said Wednesday.

John Wood, of Simpsonville, S.C., had been battling to regain custody of the leg from Shannon Whisnant, who found the leg in the smoker he purchased at an auction of Wood's belongings last week, WXII-TV in Greenville, N.C., reported

Whisnant had said he wanted to keep the leg if Wood wasn't willing to pay to get it back. The leg was being kept at a funeral home, the television station reported.

Whisnant said he previously charged people to look at the severed leg.

"It's mine, I want it back, I have a receipt," Whisnant said Tuesday.

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Perfect timing

Perfectly Timed Sports Pictures.

SportsPhotos.jpg

Via.

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Well, whaddaya know?

A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when he turned to her and said, "Would you like to talk? I've heard that flights go quicker if you can strike up a conversation with a fellow passenger."

The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it and asked the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"

Oh, I don't know," said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"

"OK" she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"

The stranger thought about it and finally said, "Hmm... I have no idea."

So the little girl replied, "Do you really feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you obviously don't know shit?"

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October 04, 2007

Wallpaper

Bored Night has a nice collection of 80-odd high-res (1600x1200) photos taken at US national parks.

NationalParks.jpg

Via.

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Hit it, Hugo!

'Siempre'... I think that's the word that's got people worried.

Chavez releases CD of traditional Venezuelan music

CARACAS (AFP) — President Hugo Chavez has released a CD of traditional Venezuelan folk music that features him singing, and which will be distributed free inside the country, presidential sources said.

The CD, titled "Canciones de Siempre" which roughly translates to "Songs For All Time," includes tunes that Chavez has sung during his regular Sunday "Hello, President" television and radio program.

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AeroCar

This vehicle was built by Aerocar International sometime between 1949 and '56. The wings and the (interesting) three-vane rudder are towed on a trailer until it's time for take-off. Here's a Spanish-language clip about it.

AeroCar.jpg

The video comes from Sin los Pies en la Tierra, a Spanish-language site about aeronautical history and curiosities.

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Trapped on the tarmac

You may have heard of the Sen. Stevens' Bridge to Nowhere. Now in India, they have flights that go there. Nowhere seems to be a pretty popular spot.

Book now for the flight to nowhere
Matthew Campbell

AN INDIAN entrepreneur has given a new twist to the concept of low-cost airlines. The passengers boarding his Airbus 300 in Delhi do not expect to go anywhere because it never takes off.

All they want is the chance to know what it is like to sit on a plane, listen to announcements and be waited on by stewardesses bustling up and down the aisle.

In a country where 99% of the population have never experienced air travel, the “virtual journeys” of Bahadur Chand Gupta, a retired Indian Airlines engineer, have proved a roaring success.

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October 03, 2007

Virtual slide rule

Now how cool is this? You can try it even if you've never used one before.

SlideRule.jpg

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A real trouble-shooter

Three women go down to Mexico to celebrate their graduation from college. One night, they partied a little too much and woke up in jail, only to find that they were to be executed that day. None of them could remember what they did the night before, so they didn't know how to dispute the charges against them.

The first one, a redhead, was strapped in the electric chair and asked if she had any last words. She said, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe with all my heart in the almighty power of God to intervene on behalf of the innocent."

The jailers threw the switch and nothing happened. They all immediately fell to the floor on their knees, begged for forgiveness, and then released her.

The second one, a brunette, was strapped in and her last words were: "I just graduated from the Harvard School of Law and I believe in the power of justice to protect the innocent."

Again they threw the switch and again, nothing happened. So they released the brunette too.

The last woman, a blonde, was strapped in and she told the jailers, "Well, I'm from the University of Tennessee and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering. And I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna 'lectrocute nobody if ya don't plug that thing in."

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Wal*Mart history

The Wall Street Journal has an article about changes in the retail market and their effect on Wal*Mart. It includes this interesting animation showing Wal*Mart's growth year-by-year starting with the first store in 1962.

WalmartGrowth.jpg

I was amused by the title of BoingBoing's post about this: Video of Wal-Mart's spreading across USA like germ culture. I guess they're not into that special Wal*Mart ambiance, despite the Always Low Prices.

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Cops writing cops

Last week, there was some buzz about an interesting site called Cops Writing Cops. (Where 'writing' means 'citing for a traffic violation'.)

Cops at this site complain about getting ticketed by other cops for traffic violations as though they were ordinary citizens. Aren't you outraged by that? Here's a blackly humorous example from the site.

I would like to nominate Officer Mike Buzan from Crete,IL as a "DICK." Recently Ofc Buzan wrote a Lansing,IL police officer. And of course this was after a rookie officer (Taylor) arrested a Lansing Police Officer's wife on a suspended license (Emissions)-And he has been talked to, and advised that we do not arrest or write cops or their wives.

Heres the situation: The Ofc. from Lansing was riding his motorcycle. He "popped" a wheely and landed up dumping his bike and crashing. Not the smartest thing to do, but no property damage and no one injured; including the Lansing Officer. The situation could of been resolved with a simple 10-50 report. But No, Officer Buzan who has been a police officer for about 18 years decides the Lansing Officer will get not one ticket, but TWO tickets. Officer Buzan is well known (not well liked) at The Crete P.D. as being someone who thinks he should "police" the police.

What I haven't figured out is why these people think the law should apply to everyone except the people who enforce it. What the hell are the rest of us? Chopped liver?



And, on the opposite side of this coin, here's a story about a police chief in Wisconsin who "wrote a cop" -- himself.
Police Chief Writes Himself Ticket

POSTED: 11:38 am CST January 30, 2007

KEWASKUM, Wis. -- It's not usually news when a police officer writes a ticket -- unless it's the chief and he gives the ticket to himself.

Village of Kewaskum Police Chief Richard Knoebel said he was driving to work when he became distracted by a truck stopping on one side of the street.

He said he didn't see a school bus with its lights flashing and a stop sign out on the other side of the four-lane road.

The chief said he didn't know he had passed the stopped bus until it was too late.

When he realized what he had done, he issued himself a $235 ticket.

Now that's my kind o' cop.

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October 02, 2007

Going up

DeputyDog has a collection of interesting elevators: images, some description, and a few video clips. This one is the Bailong elevator in China, the tallest outdoor elevator there is.

BailongElevator.jpg

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Think again...

Excel Thinks 65,535 = 100,000
Microsoft Working To Fix Spreadsheet Problems

POSTED: 12:42 pm EDT September 28, 2007

SEATTLE -- Microsoft Corp.'s Excel 2007 spreadsheet program is going to have to relearn part of its multiplication table.

In a blog post
, Microsoft employee David Gainer said that when computer users tried to get Excel 2007 to multiply some pairs of numbers and the result was 65,535, Excel would incorrectly display 100,000 as the answer.

Gainer said Excel makes mistakes multiplying 77.1 by 850, 10.2 by 6,425 and 20.4 by 3,212.5, but the program appears to be able to handle 16,383.75 times 4.

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A jealous husband

A very funny ad for car insurance (in Nederlands - but you'll get the drift).

JealousHusband.jpg

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Confidence

Perhaps of even greater significance is the continuous and profound distrust of science and technology that the environmental movement displays. The environmental movement maintains that science and technology cannot be relied upon to build a safe atomic power plant, to produce a pesticide that is safe, or even bake a loaf of bread that is safe, if that loaf of bread contains chemical preservatives. When it comes to global warming, however, it turns out that there is one area in which the environmental movement displays the most breathtaking confidence in the reliability of science and technology, an area in which, until recently, no one--even the staunchest supporters of science and technology--had ever thought to assert very much confidence at all. The one thing, the environmental movement holds, that science and technology can do so well that we are entitled to have unlimited confidence in them, is FORECAST THE WEATHER!--for the next one hundred years...

George Reisman, The Toxicity of Environmentalism

And, while I'm on this topic (again :) I should mention that I recently added Warren Meyers' Climate Skeptic blog to the blogroll. (Mr. Meyer also writes Coyote blog.)

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October 01, 2007

LIGO

A clip about the Laser Interferometer Gravitational-wave Observatory.

LIGO.jpg

LIGO is evidently run by CalTech and MIT with support from the NSF. The LIGO site is here.

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SnapShots reprise

JB left a comment today to last June's post about adding SnapShots to this site:

I'm really sorry but I detest, loathe and abhor the snapshots. It is intrusive and irritating and I have visited your fabulous site far less since you loaded it.

Back in June, I had some reservations about SnapShots but since then I've grown to like it. Sounds like JB doesn't share that opinion.

Since it was an easy matter to add the SnapShots widget that lets you disable or enable SnapShots to suit your preference, you'll find it in the sidebar just above the calendar. So feel free to turn it off if it bothers you.

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Luna at high resolution

This is a very nice high resolution image of the Moon; click for a 1600x1200 view . I don't know the source.

HiResMoon.jpg

Via.

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Blessed are the merciful

...for they shall obtain mercy.

Homeowner Offers Burglar Breakfast
Suspect Wanted By Police

POSTED: 8:45 am EDT September 24, 2007
UPDATED: 3:24 pm EDT September 24, 2007

SAN ANTONIO -- A man said he had a heart-to-heart conversation with an armed burglar over a cup of coffee after he found him stealing his belongings from his home on Sept. 11, KSAT-TV in San Antonio reported.

Steve Swanson said he found a man, whom police suspect is Armando Hernandez, stealing items from his home.

"I said, 'What are you doing here?'" Swanson said. "He said, 'I'm taking your stuff, and it's too bad you showed up.'"

Swanson said the man was carrying a knife in one hand and a gun in the other, but he didn't panic.

"I said, 'You don't want to do this. First of all, if you harm me or kill me, I'm just going to go to heaven. You're going to go to prison forever,'" Swanson said.

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