« July 2008 | Main | September 2008 »

August 30, 2008

The best one-hit knock-out

Kevin sends a link to this clip.

.

Posted by joke du jour at 11:30 AM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Fried jelly beans?

Foods vie for best of fried title at State Fair of Texas

07:28 PM CDT on Wednesday, August 27, 2008

By ERIC AASEN / The Dallas Morning News

Who will be crowned this year's king or queen of fried fair goodness?

Maybe it will be a cook who whips up something sweet, like the Fried Banana Split or Texas Fried Jelly Bellys or Fire & Ice, a deep-fried pineapple ring.

Posted by joke du jour at 11:29 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

More Engrish

A large collection of signs in 'Engrish'.

MoreEngrish.jpg

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 11:28 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Not cut out for that line of work

Man Turns Himself In After Bank Robbery

POSTED: 8:47 am EDT August 29, 2008

BRADENTON, Fla. -- A Manatee County man decided to turn himself into authorities a day after allegedly robbing a bank.

Deputies say 43-year-old Charles Bernard Whitley called the sheriff's office from a gas station pay phone Thursday morning. A sheriff's spokesman says Whitley told deputies what he had done, apologized and waited to be picked up.

Posted by joke du jour at 11:27 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 28, 2008

He's that good

Posted by joke du jour at 06:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What happens when religious people don't go to church?

This.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Oh, yeah?

Cuba's Angel Valodia Matos kicked match referee Chakir Chelbat in the face after being declared the loser in his bronze- medal tae kwon do match against Kazakhstan's Arman Chilmanov. Matos leading in the match when he was disqualified for taking too much injury time. Chilmanov later said: "To me it was obvious he was unable to continue. His toe on his left foot was broken." The Cuban was subsequently banned for life.
FaceKick.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:10 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What a surprise!

Nobody wanted to pay 30,000 for an old Chevy pickup with a million miles on it. What a shocker!


Million-Mile Truck Doesn't Sell On eBay
Owner Says He'll Try Again

POSTED: 9:36 am EDT August 27, 2008

CATAWBA, Wis. -- Low mileage? No way! But Frank Oresnik is still hoping to sell his million-mile pickup.

Oresnik put his 1991 Chevrolet Silverado up for auction on eBay. He had wanted at least $30,000, but he didn't get it.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 27, 2008

Military humor

One of 38 pix of military humor.

MilitaryHumor.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A different world

There's a store in my neighborhood called Futon World. I love that name. It makes me think of a magical place... that gets less comfortable over time.

- Demetri Martin

Posted by joke du jour at 06:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The first lesson

An ad by a Dutch insurance company that's a retelling of an old joke.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Pure genius

Moline man jailed after sending hostages for beer

By The Associated Press
Wednesday, August 27, 2008 2:23 PM CDT

FORT MADISON, Iowa — An Illinois man who police say held five people hostage in a Fort Madison motel was arrested after he sent two of his hostages on a beer run.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 26, 2008

Pimp your Lamborghini

Here's one of many photos of this hand-customized Lamborghini.

SharpLamborghini.jpg
The car was actually done in sharpie markers on the paint and then finished with a clear coat for protection. It took about 2 weeks total. Prestige (Lamborghini Miami) definitely shocked a lot of people when this car was first seen in California during the Concorso Italiano/Pebble Beach week. It attracted attention good and unfortunately bad everywhere it went.

Posted by joke du jour at 05:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Refute this!

Kansas university fires mooning debate coach
Fri Aug 22, 10:18 PM EDT

WICHITA, Kan. — Fort Hays State University has fired its debate coach for losing his temper at a tournament, engaging in a videotaped shouting match that included pulling down his shorts to expose his underwear.

University President Edward H. Hammond also announced Friday that the school was immediately suspending its debate program until problems are addressed at the national level. He said it was important to take a stand against the declining standards of college debate.

Posted by joke du jour at 05:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Quick change housekeeper

An ad from Ikea.

Posted by joke du jour at 05:42 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Too much information

Trailer Thief Caught As Officer Tries To Buy
Detective No Longer Interested In Trailer

POSTED: 9:47 am EDT August 26, 2008

OCALA, Fla. -- A vacationing Florida deputy was looking for a deal -- but got a crook.

Off-duty Marion County sheriff's Detective Thomas Tingue spotted a travel trailer on the road with a "For Sale" sign. He called the number to ask the price and learned the trailer had been stolen.

Posted by joke du jour at 05:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 25, 2008

Beijing panorama

A 360° view of the Olympic stadium in Beijing

BeijingStadium.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Buds R Us

Authorities Find Marijuana Grow Operation At Miami Mall

POSTED: 7:55 am EDT August 25, 2008

MIAMI -- The Mall of the Americas in Miami was home to a business not usually found among the food courts, retail stores and movie theaters of similar locations: a hydroponic nursery with more than 200 marijuana plants.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The gymnast you didn't see

H.T. Carol

Posted by joke du jour at 06:20 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

They're here to help

Commuter Flights Grounded Thanks To Bumbling TSA Inspector

Wed, 20 Aug '08
Damaged TAT Probes On Nine Jets While Conducting 'Security Checks'

They're the government... and remember, they're here to help. A bumbling inspector with the Transportation Safety Administration apparently has some explaining to do, after nine American Eagle regional jets were grounded at Chicago's O'Hare International Airport on Tuesday.

Citing sources within the aviation industry, ABC News reports an overzealous TSA employee attempted to gain access to the parked aircraft by climbing up the fuselage... reportedly using the Total Air Temperature (TAT) probes mounted to the planes' noses as handholds.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Olympic humor

Mary sent this cartoon about super swimmer Michael Phelps.

FastMichaelPhelps.jpg

When I went searching for its origin, I found this site with 6 other Michael Phelps cartoons.

Update: Narayanan at Tech Spikes left a comment: 'Here are 14 more Phelps cartoons.'

Posted by joke du jour at 06:18 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Misdiagnosed

Carol sends an oldie that's worth another go...

A drunk man who smelled like a distillery sat down next to a priest in a subway car. The man's tie was stained, his face was smeared with red lipstick, and a half-empty bottle of gin was sticking out of his torn coat pocket. He opened his newspaper and began reading. After a few minutes the man turned to the priest and asked, 'Say Father, what causes arthritis?'

The priest replied, 'My son, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, contempt for yourself and the lack of a bath.'

The drunk muttered in response, 'Well, I'll be damned.' He resumed reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, nudged the man and apologized. 'I'm very sorry. I didn't mean to be so uncharitable. How long have you had arthritis?'

The drunk answered, 'I don't have it, Father. I was just reading here that the Pope does.'

Posted by joke du jour at 06:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 22, 2008

River dogs

Posted by joke du jour at 08:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

It's not long 'til deer season

And if you start soon, you can build a deer stand like the one described here.

DeerStand.jpg

Spot the difference between the seventh and eighth pictures in this collection.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

50 years of American history

Mary sends a like to a Flash clip based on Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire. The presentation's a little cheesy, but the collection of images is pretty good. (Of course, it helps if you like the song.)

DorisDay.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 08:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Did I say, 'Stranger than fiction'?

Ms. McKinney's story gets even weirder than my first post about her.

Dog cloner Joyce McKinney sought over burglary to fund horse's wooden leg

An American dog lover who garnered global attention after having her pit bull cloned and then admitted to being the woman accused in a 1970s British sex abduction case is now being sought on charges of plotting a bizarre burglary in Tennessee.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 20, 2008

Presentation is everything

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:28 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

$11,111.11 per foot

Man Sues Restaurant Over 9-Foot Tapeworm
Customer Says Salmon Contained Parasite

POSTED: 2:25 pm EDT August 19, 2008

CHICAGO -- A man who contends he got a 9-foot tapeworm after eating undercooked fish has sued a Chicago restaurant.

[...]

Franz's lawsuit seeks $100,000 from Shaw's and its parent company, Lettuce Entertain You Enterprises, contending the restaurant's staff was negligent in serving him improperly cooked fish.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:27 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sculpted hair

This comes from a collection of pix of 11 'head graphics'.

HeadGraphics.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Headed for the Office Olympics

German police seize teens' motorized office chair

Mon Aug 18, 5:55 PM ET

BERLIN - German police have confiscated what may be the world's fastest office chair. Police say officers happened on the contraption — the work of two inventive 17-year-olds — in the western town of Gross-Zimmern on Saturday.

The pair had added a lawnmower engine, bicycle brakes and a metal frame to the revolving chair — making into a go-kart-like vehicle.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 19, 2008

It's not particularly aerobic

From a post titled The State of Exercise in America

AmericanFitness.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The old trouser snake trick

Weatherman freaked out by trouser snake
Monday, August 18, 2008

There's a reason the saying 'never work with children or animals' was coined, as a terrified TV weatherman found out.

Weatherman Kurtis Gertz put on a fixed-yet-terrified grin as a python started to slither inside his shorts on US television.

It had all started so well. The KCCI-TV presenter first appeared with the 10ft long creature around his shoulders as he reported from the Iowa State Fair last week.

But the giant Burmese python, called Dawn, had other ideas.

TrouserSnake.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Amazing stuff

says CodeWritinFool. And it is pretty impressive.

Uni. Washington and Microsoft Research collaborates on (yet another) mindblowing 3D photo viewer

If you think you've seen what's possible with Photosynth, then you've seen nothing yet. The collaborative research team from the University of Washington and Microsoft Research who only two years ago in 2006 published their paper "Photo Tourism" and their technology demonstration "Photosynth" have again pushed the boundaries of what can be achieved by intuitively processing the abundance of digital images shared on the web.

This week at SIGGRAPH 2008 they're sharing with the world some even better technology they've been working on which they call "Finding Paths through the World's Photos". Don't let the name fool you, it's damn cool. If you're not much of a reading person like me, take a look at this video demonstration. (Watch it till the end)

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Seemed like a good idea at the time

Poodle drove car

A Chinese couple received a police caution for trying to teach their dog to drive.

Traffic police at Liunan spotted a car driving too slowly on a local expressway, reports Nanguo Morning Post.

As they pulled in behind the car, officers were amazed to see a poodle with its front legs on the steering wheel. [...]

The woman says she and her boyfriend came up with the idea of teaching their pet dog, Niu Niu, to drive after noticing the expressway was nearly empty and the weather was good.


Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 18, 2008

Canadian wildlife

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 07:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The downtown duck hero

Carol sends a batch of photos of a mallard duck who built a nest on a second storey ledge in downtown Spokane and hatched her brood there. The link goes to a story -- with the photos in a slideshow -- about a man named Joel Armstrong who took them all under his wing and helped Mama Mallard get her ducklings to the Spokane river.

Downtown Duck Hero

On Tuesday, May 20, a Spokane man who works downtown as a loan officer at a local bank, became a hero in the eyes of his sister and many of his co-workers. What follows is his story, as told by his sister, Candace Mumm.

Here's a picture of the happy ending.

DowntownDuckHero.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

If you want to be happy

Lonely Aussie Men Appeal To Ugly Women
Following Criticism, Mayor Says He Was Misquoted

POSTED: 9:31 am EDT August 18, 2008

SYDNEY, Australia -- Ugly women are wanted for the bachelors in the Australian Outback mining town of Mount Isa.

(Title reference)

Posted by joke du jour at 07:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 15, 2008

More latte art

The Wall Street Journal and I are both a few months behind on this one. Be sure to check out the video.

Foam Sweet Foam: 'Latte Art' Heats Up in Home Kitchens

By CARI TUNA
August 14, 2008; Page A1

For the past eight months, Wayne Mathias has been perfecting his pour.

Every morning, the 47-year-old San Francisco legal-records analyst makes a cup of espresso, froths some milk and then decants it into the cup with a rhythmical flicking motion. When all goes well, the delicate white swirls form a heart or a fernlike leaf called a "rosetta." Sometimes he gets a formless blob instead.


Posted by joke du jour at 06:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Who'd have thought?

From Time magazine.

Spray-On Condoms: Still a Hard Sell
Wednesday, Aug. 13, 2008
By CALLIE LEFEVRE

Edison had his lightbulb, Ford had his Model T, and Jan Vinzenz Krause has his spray-on condom. Inspired by the mechanics of a drive-through car wash, the German sexual-health educator designed a custom-fitting male contraceptive using liquid latex and some materials from a hardware store. "I felt a little like MacGyver," he says of building the contraption.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dare to dream

Achievement.jpg

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Tinkerbell too?

PeterPanBusted.jpg
Cinderella, Snow White and Mickey Mouse arrested as police clash with staff at Disneyland

By Daily Mail Reporter

Mickey Mouse had his tail between his legs yesterday - after being arrested by police and led away in handcuffs.

Also taken into custody outside Disneyland in Anaheim, Los Angeles, were Cinderella, Snow White, and Tinkerbell.

It happened as workers at the theme park - dubbed the Happiest Place on Earth - staged a demonstration over pay and conditions.


Posted by joke du jour at 06:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 14, 2008

Large Hadron Collider

There are 27 images of the LHC at The Big Picture.

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC), a 27 kilometer (17 mile) long particle accelerator straddling the border of Switzerland and France, is nearly set to begin its first particle beam tests. The European Organization for Nuclear Research (CERN) is preparing for its first small tests in early August, leading to a planned full-track test in September - and the first planned particle collisions before the end of the year.
LargeHadronCollider.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:56 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

It's simple

When people ask me how I'm getting to the airport I say, "Well, I'm flying to one of them."

- Stephen Wright

Posted by joke du jour at 06:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Aurora research

By NASA's THEMIS mission.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:54 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Guten Appetit!

Who'd have thought?

Chef Julia Child: Super Spy?
Secret CIA Files Identify Nearly 24,000 Spies From WWII Era

POSTED: 4:46 am EDT August 14, 2008

WASHINGTON -- What big secret did chef Julia Child, Supreme Court Justice Arthur Goldberg and Chicago White Sox catcher Moe Berg share?

During the time Adolf Hitler's Germany was threatening the world, they served in an international spy ring managed by the U.S. Office of Strategic Services.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:53 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 13, 2008

Eddie Murphy

An old clip from his Saturday Night Live days.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 05:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A rave review

Dear Tide:

I am writing to say what an excellent product you have. I've used it all of my married life, as my Mom always told me it was the best. Now that I am in my forties I find it even better. In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My inconsiderate and uncaring husband started to belittle me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

One thing led to another and somehow I ended up with his blood on my new white blouse. I grabbed my bottle of Tide with bleach alternative and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out! In fact, the stains came out so well the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I was no longer considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband!

What a relief! Going through menopause is bad enough without being a murder suspect! I thank you, once again, for having a great product.

Well, gotta go, as I have to write to the Hefty bag people.


H.T. Carol

Posted by joke du jour at 05:57 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sorry we missed you

Police's fridge-magnet calling card

Neal Keling and Pul R Taylor
8/ 8/2008

AN investigation has been launched into claims that cheeky cops are said to have left a fridge-magnet calling card after smashing into the wrong house.

Officers hunting a criminal recalled to prison for breaching his release conditions broke into the home of a couple in Oldham.

The family came home to find a hole in their back door, police in the yard, and fridge magnets rearranged to spell "OLDHAM TASK FORCE CALLED".

FridgeMagnets.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 05:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 12, 2008

Core memory

Core Memory is a nice collection of photos by Mark Richards. I believe they come from his book Core Memory: A Visual Survey of Vintage Computers.

CpuFrontPanel.jpg

When I first got into this business in 1981, one of the machines I worked with was a Modcomp Classic. It came new with 512 KB of RAM (twice the RAM of the previous model) and a fast 16-bit CPU that was four RCA 4-bit processors in parallel. It had a front panel somewhat similar to the one above. (I could tell you about the old discrete-component, drum memory GE computer the Modcomp replaced but I don't want to tax your patience too much.)

To start one of these machines, you entered a simple program (a dozen instructions, say) into memory using the toggle switches on the front panel. Then you started that program running.

The program you toggled in would read the bootstrap loader, stored in ROM, into memory and start that. In turn, the loader would go looking for a boot device - a tape, a hard disk or even a card reader - and load the operating system into memory. As you can guess, this was a fairly slow process. A boot from disk that went quickly probably took about 5 minutes. If you used a tape drive (or a card reader) it took even longer.

We kept the boot instruction sequence written in machine language (hexadecimal) on the backs of punch cards on the inside of the cabinet doors. Those were the days, my friend.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:52 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

It's not the age. It's the mileage

A recent study found the average American walks about 900 miles per year. Another study found Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of beer a year.

That means, again on average, that we're getting about 41 miles to the gallon.

Kind of makes you proud to be an American, doesn't it?

H.T. Carol

Posted by joke du jour at 06:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Racing 'round the world

An ad from Shell oil called The Circuit.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Even weirder than the headline sounds

Woman Strips Naked After Causing Crashes, Carjacking SUV

POSTED: 7:56 am EDT August 12, 2008

JACKSONVILLE, Fla. -- A Jacksonville woman was arrested after she caused a string of accidents, carjacked an SUV and then stripped naked after crashing into a fence Sunday night.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 11, 2008

Print-a-chair

Posted by joke du jour at 06:58 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Stranger than fiction

And here I thought Mormons frowned on B&D.

Cloned puppies may have exposed 31-year mystery

By JENNIFER DOBNER, Associated Press Writer
Sat Aug 9, 4:08 PM ET

SALT LAKE CITY - A woman who made news around the world when she had five pups cloned from her beloved pit bull Booger looked very familiar to some who saw her picture: She may be the same woman who 31 years earlier was accused of abducting a Mormon missionary in England, handcuffing him to a bed and making him her sex slave.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:57 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Life's a beach

Here's a slideshow of President Bush at the Olympics in Beijing. RHIP.

LifesABeach.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:56 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Curfew violation too?

Bike-Ridding 11-Year-Old Sneaks Out Of House To Rob Walgreens

POSTED: 5:59 am EDT August 11, 2008

ORLANDO, Fla. -- Another Walgreens was held up and police said the 11-year-old gunman snuck out of his parents' home, rode his bike to the drug store and used BB guns to demand cash. Police caught the child as he was trying to leave.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:55 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 10, 2008

An art deco sunset

When the afternoon clouds cleared off yesterday evening, I was struck by their shape, arrangement and color. Click for a larger view.

Posted by joke du jour at 05:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 08, 2008

It was only a matter of time

From Time magazine.

Who Can You Sue? Click Here
By SIOBHAN MORRISSEY / MIAMI

As if there weren't enough people out there suing each other, now a Florida attorney has come up with a way to make the process even easier.

Beginning next month, anyone with access to the Internet should be able to log onto WhoCanISue.com. The new website plans to help consumers determine whether they actually have a case and help them find an attorney from a list of lawyers who advertise their expertise on the website.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Another priceless example

MississippiLicense.jpg
Running stop light: $100.00
DUI: $350.00
Not wearing a seat belt: $150.00
Putting you & your girlfriend's photo on your fake drivers license? Priceless!

H.T. Jeff

Posted by joke du jour at 07:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Air Wedding

I read about this earlier in the week but just found the video on YouTube today.

British couple wed strapped to wings of airplanes

RAPHAEL G. SATTER, Associated Press Writer Tue Aug 5, 7:30 PM ET

LONDON - It was Katie and Darren's wedding day and they were in the clouds — strapped to the top of biplanes reciting vows 1,000 feet above the earth. Katie Hodgson, 23, took to the skies Tuesday in a full bridal gown on the top wing of red-and-white plane operated by Team Guinot, a group of stunt pilots.
ADVERTISEMENT

Groom Darren McWalters, 24, flew by her side on an identical plane, while Rev. George Bringham — flying ahead of the couple — married them over an airborne communications system.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

If you ever want to see your crane again

Crews Drop Crane Back Into Water After Learning They Weren't Getting Paid

POSTED: 6:27 pm EDT August 7, 2008

TITUSVILLE, Fla. -- Crews lifted a crane from the bottom of the Titusville Marina on Thursday, but dropped it right back in the water when they found out they weren't getting paid.

The crew was lifting the crane that sunk during a barge collapse last week, but the crewmen had no intentions of doing the work for free.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 07, 2008

Spread your wings

A clever ad for the Washington State lottery.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Signs

This is an antique that's made the e-mail rounds for years. But we'll give it another go since it's never appeared here.

Signs...

In a gynecologist's office: Dr. Jones, at your cervix.

In a podiatrist's office: Time wounds all heels.

On a septic truck: Yesterday's Meals on Wheels

On another septic truck: Caution - This truck is full of political promises

At a proctologist's door: To expedite your visit, please back in

On a plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed.

On another plumber's truck: Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.

At a towing company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.

On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.

At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

On a taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff.

Seen on a fence:Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!

At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.

Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In a veterinarian's waiting room: Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the electric company We would be delighted if you send in your payment. And if you don't, you will be.

In a restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.

In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We'll wait.

At a propane filling station: Thank heaven for little grills.

At a Chicago radiator shop: Best place in town to take a leak.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Acts 2:38, LLC

Here's a local oddity. I spotted this dump truck one morning while driving and was lucky enough to get a clear shot of it as we pulled away from a traffic signal. While I don't recommend that driving technique, I'd never seen a company name that was chapter & verse numbers in the Bible. (Click for a larger view.)

I'll make a wild guess that the owner of this enterprise is a Baptist - maybe a Pentecostal. The verse is, "Then Peter said unto them, Repent, and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the remission of sins, and ye shall receive the gift of the Holy Ghost."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Blessed are the meek

Preacher, 71, Convicted For Road Rage
Man Waved Gun, Cursed At Another Driver

POSTED: 10:34 am EDT August 7, 2008

CINCINNATI -- A 71-year-old Cincinnati preacher was on his way to church when he allegedly waved a gun at another motorist and cursed at her.

The preacher, Thomas Howell, claims that the woman cut him off. Howell testified in court that he has a gun and permit but denied ever removing the weapon from its holster.

But a judge sided with the woman, who said the preacher threatened to shoot her and called her names as their cars chased each other.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 06, 2008

Punny signs

A very good collection of businesses with puns in their signs.

PlanetOfTheGrapes.jpg

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Robbed by a one-armed bandit

Man tells 911 slot machine stole his money

Tue Aug 5, 3:03 PM ET

TAMPA, Fla. - A second Florida man has been arrested on charges of making false 911 calls in as many days. An arrest report says 47-year-old Carlos Gutierrez was at the Hard Rock Hotel & Casino early Monday and called 911 to say the slot machine stole his money. The report says Gutierrez left the casino to place a second 911 call to say the same thing.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A blast from the past

There's nothing new under the sun. Here's a 30-year-old clip of Jack Nicholson driving a hydrogen-fueled car.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Don't ask, don't tell

A man's in bed with his girlfriend. After having great sex, she spends the next hour lovingly stroking his penis, something she's done on many occasions.

Rather than just enjoying it, he asks her, "Why do you love doing that so much?"

"Because I really miss mine."

H.T. Bill

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 05, 2008

A show of hands

A Spanish ad for Head & Shoulders shampoo.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:52 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Show a little sympathy

I went to the dentist. He said, "Say, aaah."

"Why?" I asked.

"Because my dog just died."

Posted by joke du jour at 06:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Good morning!

This Week in Bacon

This week's feature is a bacon alarm clock, the cleverly named Wake n' Bacon, that wakes you up with the smell of real cooked bacon, rather than the traditional, grating, cruel, terrible, gruesome alarm-clock sound.


WakeNBacon.jpg

Thank God for bacon.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Revenge is sweet

Check out the photo with the article.

Man Says House Color Is Way Of Fighting Back Against Neighbors

POSTED: 11:08 am EDT August 4, 2008

TITUSVILLE, Fla. -- John Sauve said he was fed up with his neighbors on Nottingham Street off of SR-407. He says they snitched on him to code enforcement.

Neighbors called his home an "eye sore" and and an "Easter egg." Sauve's home is kiwi green, lavender and aqua blue with bright yellow accents.

"I'm going for the Key West look," Sauve said.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 04, 2008

The superhero vote

As he says, "Interesting."

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

And call me in the morning

"I tried to kill myself yesterday by taking a thousand aspirin."

"What happened?"

"Well, after the first two I felt a lot better."

Posted by joke du jour at 06:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wonder journalism

Carol sends this set of 17 curious newspaper clippings. I thought the first one was bogus but when I checked, I found an article about that lawyer in that newspaper.

Journalism_01.jpg

Journalism_02.jpg

Journalism_03.jpg

Journalism_04.jpg

Journalism_05.jpg

Journalism_06.jpg

Journalism_07.jpg
"This is an artist's conception of the Mount Pleasant High School football field Friday after an electrical transformer blew,knocking out the stadium lights."

Journalism_08.jpg
"We had no idea anyone was buried here."

Journalism_09.jpg
"I wouldn't do it again" says the hero, "she's been a pain this week"

Journalism_10.jpg

Journalism_11.jpg

Journalism_12.jpg

Journalism_13.jpg

Journalism_14.jpg

Journalism_15.jpg

Journalism_16.jpg
Here's the winner of a local dog look-alike contest. He does look exactly like his dog!

Journalism_17.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

August 01, 2008

Speed is Life

High speed passes in jet fighters.

Posted by joke du jour at 11:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Solar-driven catalytic electrolysis

'Major discovery' from MIT primed to unleash solar revolution
Scientists mimic essence of plants' energy storage system

Anne Trafton, News Office
July 31, 2008

In a revolutionary leap that could transform solar power from a marginal, boutique alternative into a mainstream energy source, MIT researchers have overcome a major barrier to large-scale solar power: storing energy for use when the sun doesn't shine.


Check out the video of Professor Nocera's description.

Posted by joke du jour at 11:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Trash bag balloon animals

An article with a cool video in New York magazine about the street art of Joshua Harris.

BalloonAnimals.jpg
Call us boring and simple-minded, but before we saw the work of street artist Joshua Allen Harris we never once considered the artistic possibilities of subway exhaust. Using only tape and garbage bags, Harris creates giant inflatable animals that become animated when fastened to a sidewalk grate. Steven Psyllos caught up with Harris recently to discuss his older works (including a bear and a giraffe) and unveil a new beast that looks not unlike the Cloverfield monster.

Posted by joke du jour at 11:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

I wonder if it's funny

New Spider Species Named For Colbert
Comedian Gets Same Honor As Neil Young

POSTED: 9:21 am EDT August 1, 2008

GREENVILLE, N.C. -- A trapdoor spider species found along the coast of California last year is the new eight-legged tribute to Stephen Colbert.

There's a type of spider named after Neil Young?

Posted by joke du jour at 11:10 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack