On another septic truck: Caution - This truck is full of political promises

At a proctologist's door: To expedite your visit, please back in

On a plumber's truck: We repair what your husband fixed.

On another plumber's truck: Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber.

At a tire shop in Milwaukee: Invite us to your next blowout.

At a towing company: We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows.

On an electrician's truck: Let us remove your shorts.

On a maternity room door: Push. Push. Push.

At an optometrist's office: If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place.

On a taxidermist's window: We really know our stuff.

Seen on a fence:Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive!

At a car dealership: The best way to get back on your feet - miss a car payment.

Outside a muffler shop: No appointment necessary. We hear you coming.

In a veterinarian's waiting room: Back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!

At the electric company We would be delighted if you send in your payment. And if you don't, you will be.

In a restaurant window: Don't stand there and be hungry; come on in and get fed up.

In the front yard of a funeral home: Drive carefully. We'll wait.

At a propane filling station: Thank heaven for little grills.

At a Chicago radiator shop: Best place in town to take a leak.