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October 31, 2008

Weekend Watching V

A recent episode of PBS' Nova focused on Benoît Mandelbrot and fractals. It's titled Hunting the Hidden Dimension and you can view the whole show at the link. (It's presented in 5 segments.)

Fractal.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 09:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Music video in ASCII

This is pretty clever: an AC/DC fan puts up an AC/DC video in Excel. As the site says:

AC/DC smashes through your firewall with real rock 'n' roll! Download the spreadsheet to watch the Rock N Roll Train video in all it's Low Definition™ glory!

Or you can watch the YouTube version here.

Posted by joke du jour at 09:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Put on a happy face

Botox makes us happy

It's long been known that simply smiling makes people feel better and making an angry face can make people feel more angry. Thus some cosmetic surgeons speculated:

People with Botox may be less vulnerable to the angry emotions of other people because they themselves can't make angry or unhappy faces as easily. And because people with Botox can't spread bad feelings to others via their expressions, people without Botox may be happier too.

Amazingly, a recent experiment in the journal Cerebral Cortex supports this theory, although the abstract is a mouthful.

Posted by joke du jour at 09:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hallowe'en timewaster

A Flash version of an old practical joke.

FlamingBag.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 09:00 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 30, 2008

A St. Louis tradition

One of the things we learned after moving to St. Louis was that trick-or-treaters here are expected to tell you a joke when they visit. So in that spirit (so to speak)...

Two men walked out of a bar (there's a switch!) after making a night of it. They decided to take a shortcut through a cemetery on their way home. In the middle of the cemetery they were startled by a tap-tap-tapping noise that was coming from the misty shadows.

Trembling with fear, they crept forward and they found an old man with a hammer and chisel, who was chipping away at one of the headstones.

"Good night!" one of the men said after catching his breath. "You scared us both half to death! We thought you were a ghost. What are you doing working here so late at night?"

"Those fools!" the old man grumbled. "They misspelled my name!"

Posted by joke du jour at 05:35 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Geek o' lanterns

34 geeky jack o' lanterns.

GeekOLantern.jpg

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 05:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What's worse than holes in your sweater?

Vampire Moth Discovered -- Evolution at Work
John Roach
for National Geographic News

A previously unknown population of vampire moths has been found in Siberia. And in a twist worthy of a Halloween horror movie, entomologists say the bloodsuckers may have evolved from a purely fruit-eating species.


Video at the link.

Posted by joke du jour at 05:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dias de otoño

The Big Picture has a very nice set of 34 pix of autumn around the world.

DaysOfAutumn.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 05:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Scary enough for you?

GM: Don't Judge Restaurant because of 'Phlegmburgers'

A teary-eyed restaurant manager pleaded with the public on Wednesday to trust her establishment following the arrest of her cook for deliberately contaminating food with bodily fluids.

Andy's Landing general manager Tifanny Tappe said she had fired Jamie Perez after he was charged with soiling burgers with phlegm and saliva, and then wiping the buns on his buttocks before serving the food to Burnet police Chief Paul Nelson.

Posted by joke du jour at 05:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 29, 2008

Meme explorer

This is an interesting way to waste a little time: an interactive timeline of Internet memes.

MemeExplorer.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:42 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A sad heir

A man walks into a bar and sees a friend at a table drinking by himself. Approaching his friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?"

"My mother died in June and left me $10,000," says his friend.

"Gee, that's tough."

"Then in July," the friend continues, "My father died, leaving me $50,000."

The man looks concerned and says, "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed."

"Oh, that's not all, " the friend adds. "Last month my aunt died and left me $15,000."

"Three close family members lost in three months? How sad!"

"And now this month..." the friend says. "Nothing! Not a single dime!"

Posted by joke du jour at 06:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Cat massage

Posted by joke du jour at 06:40 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Busty bikers only

Vietnam bans small-chested motorists

Wonder bras are set to become best-sellers in Vietnam where the country's communist rulers are set to ban small-chested motorists.

Anyone with a chest under 28 inches will be banned from driving a motorbike - which make up 90% of the traffic in the country, reports the Daily Telegraph.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Pictures of the past

There's a nice collection at Flickr of color photos of the 1930s & 40s from the U.S. Library of Congress.

30sPics.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 28, 2008

Pumpkin Run

Grin and bare it: Boulder's Naked Pumpkin Run returns Friday

The dozens of hearty Boulderites expected to bare it all — except for the carved-out pumpkins placed over their heads — and run naked down the Pearl Street Mall on Friday night certainly will. [...]

“Once the pumpkin goes on your head, it’s definitely such a group mentality that you just have to go with it,” said Winston Voigt, a recent University of Colorado graduate who participated in last year’s run for the first time and intends to do so again this year.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Don't say the 'V' word

Another hilarious I'm-a-Mac ad from Apple.

And in related news: Microsoft: Next Windows won't be as annoying

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

For $175 an hour, I'd say "Ho, ho, ho..."

Deal Brings Longtime Santa Back To Mall
Man Playing Santa Paid About $175 An Hour

McLEAN, Va. -- It looks like everything's jolly again for a shopping mall Santa in suburban Washington, D.C.

Michael Graham has played Santa at the mall for 18 years, but was told he wasn't being brought back this year.

Now, the mall said it has reached an "agreement in principle" for Graham to return to the job. [...]

Word of the dispute sparked hundreds of calls and an online petition, along with threats to boycott the mall.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Bumper sticker du jour (2)

On the car at the pump ahead of mine during a recent trip to the local filling station. I didn't hear any howling.

RaisedByWolves.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 27, 2008

A serious case of cold feet

Reluctant groom sets hotel on fire?

TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese man set fire to the hotel where he was due to get married at the weekend, rather than go through with the ceremony later the same day, newspaper reports said Monday.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A legal question

Tucson John sends the four pictures below (click any for a larger view).





And he asks, "Is this statutory rape?"

Posted by joke du jour at 06:37 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Positive feedback

One autumn, the Indians asked their chief if the winter was going to be a cold one or not. Not really knowing the answer, the chief took the safer route and replied that the winter was going to be cold; and that the members of the tribe should collect wood to be prepared.

Being a good leader, he then called the National Weather Service and asked, "Is this winter going to be very cold?"

The man on the phone responded, "This winter is going to be quite cold indeed."

So the chief went back to speed up his people in collecting wood to be prepared. A week later he called the National Weather Service again, "Is it going to be a very cold winter?"

"Yes," the man replied, "it's going to be a very cold winter."

Again the chief went to his people and ordered them to go and collect every scrap of wood they could find. Two weeks later he called the National Weather Service again: "Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?"

"It will be even colder than we thought," the man replied. "The Indians are collecting wood like crazy!"

Posted by joke du jour at 06:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Claymation chess

Nicely done clay animation of a chess game.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Spare his blushes

Train delayed after man gets arm stuck in toilet

A high-speed TGV train en route to Paris was delayed for over two hours after a passenger got his arm stuck in the toilet, France Info radio reported today.

The 26-year-old man found himself in this embarrassing - and painful - position after inadvertently dropping his mobile phone into the commode.

When he tried to retrieve the device, he found himself trapped by the toilet's suction action.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 26, 2008

Pamukkale

Carol sent a Powerpoint slideshow about a place in Turkey called Pamukkale. It was pretty interesting, so I used TechSmith's Camtasia to convert it into this Flash show. Enjoy.

Pamukkale.jpg

If you want a copy of the Powerpoint show, it's here.

Posted by joke du jour at 09:30 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 25, 2008

Chandayaan-1

India Launches First Unmanned Mission to Moon

India has launched its first unmanned mission to the Moon. The mission is a major boost to the country's space program, as India joins Asian nations China and Japan in exploring the Moon. Anjana Pasricha has a report from New Delhi.

The unmanned Chandayaan-1 spacecraft blasted off from a launch pad in Sriharikota in southern India, shortly after dawn, Wednesday, as the nation watched on television.

Posted by joke du jour at 09:10 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A modest proposal

Natalie Portman and Rashida Jones suggest a solution to the global economic crisis.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 09:09 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Will she get away with "murder"?

Divorce Wars: Woman Kills Hubby's Avatar
Japanese Woman Charged With Illegally Accessing Online Husband's Computer

(AP) A 43-year-old Japanese piano teacher's sudden divorce from her online husband in a virtual game world made her so angry that she logged on and killed his digital persona, police said Thursday. [...]

The woman had not plotted any revenge in the real world, the official said.

She has not yet been formally charged, but if convicted could face a prison term of up to five years or a fine up to $5,000.


Posted by joke du jour at 09:08 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Welcome to Earth

A very polished animation by 4 students of the ESMA Film School in Montpelier, France.

Posted by joke du jour at 09:07 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Bad dog!

From the Northern Territory News:

'Dogs ate my car'

MATT CUNNINGHAM
October 18th, 2008

A DARWIN man woke yesterday to discover dogs had eaten his car.

And he says it's not the first time it has happened. [...]

His front bumper had been ripped from the car and chewed to bits by the dogs. They had even tried to munch on the front panels.

Posted by joke du jour at 09:06 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What's the opposite of discount?

From The Daily WTF:

PriceIncrease.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 09:05 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 23, 2008

Meep-meep

Suspect In Golf Cart Eludes Police
Man Arrested A Day Later

A Utah sheriff's office has found that it shouldn't underestimate the golf cart as a getaway car.

A suspect in a souped-up cart managed to elude officers who pursued him last month through an alfalfa field -- but only for a while. He was arrested the next day at his grandmother's house.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hungry Jack

Here's one of the reader-uploaded jack-o-lantern pix at the Post-Dispatch.

HungryJack.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Can't get no satisfaction

This Roy Pearson fellow, the judge who sued a dry cleaner for $54 million over a pair of pants, just can't let it go. Somebody needs to write him a blues tune:

Woke up this mornin'
Found somethin' wrong
Got out my suit
And see the pants is gone

Missing pants case returns to DC court

WASHINGTON (AP) - A former administrative law judge who unsuccessfully sued a dry cleaner for $54 million over a pair of lost pants tried to convince an appeals panel Wednesday that he deserves the money because he is a fraud victim.

"This is not a case about a pair of suit pants," Roy L. Pearson argued before the District of Columbia Court of Appeals. Rather, it is about whether the owners of a neighborhood business misled consumers with a sign that claimed "Satisfaction Guaranteed," he said.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Looking for yellow snow

A pretty funny ad:

H.T. Tucson John

Posted by joke du jour at 06:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

It's no big deal

"How long have you been driving without a tail light?" asked the policeman when he pulled over a driver.

The driver jumped out, ran to the back of his car and gave a long, painful groan. He seemed so upset that the cop was moved to ease up on him a bit.

"Come on, now," the cop said, "you don't have to take it so hard. It isn't that serious."

"It isn't?" cried the motorist. "Then you know what happened to my boat and trailer?"

Posted by joke du jour at 06:13 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 22, 2008

Cute and funny

Upside-down dogs.

UpsideDownDogs.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The good old TSA

Here's an article in The Atlantic: The Things He Carried. It's about how poorly the TSA does what it's supposed to do.

Airport security in America is a sham—"security theater" designed to make travelers feel better and catch stupid terrorists. Smart ones can get through security with fake boarding passes and all manner of prohibited items—as our correspondent did with ease.

by Jeffrey Goldberg



And here's a bit of news about an employee who's not exactly helping to burnish its reputation.
TSA agent steals $200K worth of gear, resells it on eBay

The TSA reached a mind-boggling new low in customer service this week when it was revealed that one agent had single-handedly absconded with over $200,000 worth of travelers' belongings, primarily cameras and laptops, and proceeded to unload his booty on eBay. His latest haul: A near-$50,000 camera that an HBO employee had been traveling with.



Time to cue the TSA theme song, I think.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Best Man no longer

Found at FAIL blog:

Posted by joke du jour at 06:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Unbelievable

I mean, this is a little edgy even for the Land o' Lincoln. A dead goldfish? What happened, did they run out of cemeteries?

Dead goldfish offered the vote in Illinois

By CARLA K. JOHNSON – 12 hours ago

CHICAGO (AP) — The only "agent of change" Princess ever supported was the person who freshened the water in her fishbowl.

So election officials in Chicago's northern suburbs want to know why voter registration material was sent to the dead goldfish.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 21, 2008

More base jumping

A nice compilation of base jumping clips.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:36 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Groovin'

This town had a road like this (constructed for a Honda ad) but covered it over because of complaints from neighbors. Now they're rebuilding it in another, less residential, area.

California Town Gets Its Groove Back
Rumble Strips Give Town Musical Road

LANCASTER, Calif. -- Lancaster is getting what is apparently the first musical road in America.

Think of it as rumble strips that entertain. When cars drive over grooves that are being carved into Avenue G, they'll sound the notes to the "William Tell Overture," the classical tune popularized by the old "Lone Ranger" show.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

World Animal Day

The Big Picture marks World Animal Day (Oct. 4) with 38 images.

Kingfisher.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A fool and his money

"I see in The Times today," George V's private secretary remarked one day, "that some damn fool has given fourteen hundred pounds for a single stamp at a private sale."

"Yes," the king replied, "I am that damn fool."

Posted by joke du jour at 06:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 20, 2008

Creative food sculpture

Here. This is a representative sample of a good collection.

FoodSculpture.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:45 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Honesty's the best policy

"If you're going to work here, young man, " said the boss, "the #2 thing you must learn is that we are very keen on cleanliness in this firm. Did you wipe your feet on the mat as you came in?"

"Yes, sir, I did," responded the young man.

"And the #1 thing we are very keen on is truthfulness," said the boss. "There is no mat."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sky jumpin' wedding

And luckily the rest of their lives is still before them.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Who takes a jack to a baby shower?

Baby Shower Brawl Included Car Jack, Beer Bottle

POSTED: 8:45 am MDT October 16, 2008

EDWARDS, Colo. -- Authorities have arrested four men after a brawl at a baby shower that included the use of a beer bottle and a car jack.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:42 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 17, 2008

Sweet land of LIberty Valance

Jeff says, "Just too funny" about this preview of an episode of Boston Legal.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:12 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Amazingly simple household tips

Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.

Avoid arguments with your wife. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

For high blood pressure sufferers: Simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you'll be afraid to cough.

You only need two tools in life: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

H.T. Bill

Posted by joke du jour at 06:11 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Funny ad from Ford

Tucson John says, "Great way to get rid of rats with wings."

Posted by joke du jour at 06:10 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Big Brother indeed

From the London Times.

Government will spy on every call and e-mail
David Leppard

Ministers are considering spending up to £12 billion on a database to monitor and store the internet browsing habits, e-mail and telephone records of everyone in Britain.

GCHQ, the government's eavesdropping centre, has already been given up to £1 billion to finance the first stage of the project.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

And only good for a limited time

SpecialDeal.jpg

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 16, 2008

Here's your sign.. (2)

I used to work in technical support for a 24x7 call center. One day I got a call from an individual who asked what hours the call center was open. I told him, "The number you dialed is open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week."

"Is that Eastern or Pacific time?" he asked.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 07:52 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Ride 'em, bot boy

Bill sends a link to this clip with the comment, "This is my next project."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:51 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Another Sarah Palin?

Man Names Daughter Sarah McCain Palin
Tennessee Man Selects Name Without Wife's Knowledge

ELIZABETHTON, Tenn. -- Mark Ciptak is doing more than putting up a yard sign for the McCain-Palin ticket. He's named his daughter Sarah McCain Palin.

But he might get some flak at home. The Tennessee man said he ignored the name he and his wife had picked out for his daughter, who was born Friday night, which was Ava Grace.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:50 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

No worries

An editorial cartoon from Michael Ramirez.

LandedOnTaxpayer.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 15, 2008

Obey the voice

Saul is working in his shop one day when he hears a booming voice from above. "Saul, sell the business." He ignores it but it goes on for days. "Saul, sell the business for $3 million."

After weeks of this, he relents and sells the shop. The voice says, "Saul, take the money to Las Vegas." He obeys and goes to a casino. The voice tells him, "Go to a black jack table and put it all down on the first hand." Saul hesitates but he knows he'll obey in the end. So he bets it all and gets dealt an 18. The dealer's showing 6.

"Take a card, Saul," says the voice.

"What?! But the dealer has..."

"Take a card!" So he tells the dealer to hit him and he gets an ace. 19 -- and a big sigh of relief.

"Saul, take another card."

"What?"

"Take ANOTHER card!" Saul asks for a second card and it's another ace; now he's at 20.

"Take another card," says the voice.

"But I have 20! With two aces!!"

"TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" booms the voice.

"Hit me," Saul tells the dealer and he gets his third ace: 21.

And the booming voice says, "Un-fucking-believable!"

Posted by joke du jour at 08:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Safety first!

Carol sends a slideshow of unsafe work practices with the comment that one of these, "is actually in the Sacramento airport baggage claim area"

When I found the same collection here, one of the commenters had written, "The picture of the baggage cart piled to the roof is actually a sculpture in the baggage area of the Sacramento airport. The bags and the cart are all securely fastened together and do not move. It's kind of a Christo-ish urban art thing."

WorkSafety.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 08:33 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

No service, no suit

Suit against God thrown out over lack of address

By NATE JENKINS

LINCOLN, Neb. (AP) - A judge has thrown out a Nebraska legislator's lawsuit against God, saying the Almighty wasn't properly served due to his unlisted home address. State Sen. Ernie Chambers filed the lawsuit last year seeking a permanent injunction against God.

He said God has made terroristic threats against the senator and his constituents in Omaha, inspired fear and caused "widespread death, destruction and terrorization of millions upon millions of the Earth's inhabitants."

Posted by joke du jour at 08:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

La prima donna ologramma

This clip has an English-speaking Asian narrator (with Italian subtitles) and a hologram that speaks both English and Italian. Now that's globalization.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 14, 2008

Another problem with daylight saving time

A letter to the Australian paper The Border Mail in Albury Wodonga, Victoria. (Source)

DST_drought.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:10 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What service

Reaching Shanghai late one night, producer Arthur Mayer was in his hotel room unpacking when the Chinese equivalent of a house detective knocked on the door. In his best pidgin English the dick asked, 'Want gur?'

'Want what?' asked Mayer.

'Gur' answered the Chinese, and with appropriate gestures indicated what a 'gur' was. The pantomime was so perfect that Mayer soon grasped the idea, but he was anxious only for a bath and a bed. He pointed to his grey hair and eyeglasses as an excuse for his strange lack of interest.

As a pantomime artist, however, he was apparently not the equal of the Chinese. Half an hour later, when he emerged from his tub, there was again a knock on the door. The house detective had returned, this time accompanied by a charming if somewhat mature lady, her hair streaked with grey and a pince-nez on her nose.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A blog for anything (5)

Check out The Brokers With Hands On Their Faces blog.

HandsOnFaces.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:08 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

How to tun a parking ticket into a stay in jail

Motorist pushes lit cigarette into West Vancouver parking inspector's eye
Catherine Rolfsen, Vancouver Sun

METRO VANCOUVER - A disgruntled motorist extinguished a lit cigarette in the eye of a bylaw officer issuing him a parking ticket Tuesday afternoon, West Vancouver police say. [...]

Harding said a young bylaw officer had been writing a ticket when a motorist began berating him, then pushed a lit cigarette into the officer's right eye with enough force to extinguish it. He was able to close his eye before the cigarette hit him, avoiding serious injury, Harding said.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A French mime

Carol writes, "Check this out - ignore the French intro and just watch the action!"

Posted by joke du jour at 07:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 13, 2008

You want 'extra strength'?

Here's a very amusing page at the Wal*Mart Canada site for SUMMER'S EVE FEMININE SPRAY ULTRA - EXTRA STRENGTH.

And in caes they fix the page, a screen shot of what it looked like today appears after the break.

Update: A commenter at reddit pointed out that the URL could be built to display different images and gave a couple of examples.

Click for a larger view.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Stop. Stop... Don't you dare stop

America's 10 Most Confusing Traffic Signs

StopDontStop.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Football explained

Pigskinner.jpgBill sends a funny story.

A guy took his blonde girlfriend to her first football game. They had great seats right behind their team's bench.

After the game, he asked her how she liked the experience. "Oh, I really liked it," she replied, "especially the tight pants and all the big muscles. But I just couldn't understand why they were killing each other over a quarter."

Dumbfounded, he asked, "What do you mean?"

"'Well, they flipped a coin, one team got it and then for the rest of the game, all they kept screaming was: 'Get the quarterback! Get the quarterback!'

"And I'm like... 'Hello-o-o? It's only 25 cents.'"

(Image lifted from the Central City Pigskinners.)

Posted by joke du jour at 07:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Wow! II

I haven't seen a car do this since I played with slot racers.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Are you happy to see me or...

Is That A Lobster In Your Pants?
Man Stuffs 6 Crustaceans Down Trousers

SAN DIEGO -- A San Diego man who was allegedly poaching lobsters was caught with six of the creatures stuffed down his pants.

Binh Quang Chau, 33, who has been cited four times for poaching, allegedly took the lobsters from the La Jolla State Marine Conservation Area.

Department of Fish and Game warden Daryl Simmons said wardens arrested Chau when they noticed "odd bulges" in his pants.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:15 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 11, 2008

Noteboek

A very clever stop-action clip.

Posted by joke du jour at 09:52 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Investment advice

I knew there was something I'd forgotten...

October. This is one of the peculiarly dangerous months to speculate in stocks in. The others are July, January, September, April, November, May, March, June, December, August and February.

- Mark Twain


I won't say it's time for Brother, Can You Spare a Dime? but what a week!

Posted by joke du jour at 09:51 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Bambi and Thumper

Carol sends 11 pix of a deer and a rabbit with the message "Bambi and Thumper really do exist."

BambiThumper.jpg

The photos are by Tanja Askani.

Posted by joke du jour at 09:50 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Silly rabbit...

Burglary bid by big blue bunny backfires

A massive blue bunny, along with a shotgun-toting accomplice, were arrested on Wednesday afternoon following their unsuccessful attempt at robbing a currency exchange office in Farsta, south of Stockholm.

Dave Arthur was at the counter attempting to change some money when the incident took place.

"I was exchanging some money and saw a huge blue bunny standing there with a bucket," he told The Local.

Posted by joke du jour at 09:49 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

October 09, 2008

Keep your jack-o-lanterns sober

DrunkPumpkins.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 08:19 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

This defines self-parody

Blonde sues L'Oreal over brown dye
Woman says dye ruined her hair, but judge gives her the brush-off

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. - A Connecticut judge has given the brush-off to a blonde woman's lawsuit claiming L'Oreal Inc. ruined her social life when she accidentally dyed her hair brunette with one of its products.

Charlotte Feeney of Stratford says she can never return to her natural blonde hue, a shock that left her so traumatized she needed anti-depressants.

She says she suffered headaches and anxiety, missed the attention that blondes receive and had to stay home and wear hats most of the time.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:18 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hallowindow

Get your own copy here.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 08:17 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Viva Viagara update

Here's a little follow-up to last month's post about surplus military gear.

NYC Man Sued Over 25-foot Viagra Rocket
Man Sued For Trademark Infringement After He Towed A 25-foot-long Fake Viagra Rocket Around NYC

(AP) A New York man is being sued for trademark infringement after he towed a 25-foot-long fake missile around Manhattan with the words "Viva Viagra" printed in blue on its sides.

An attorney for Viagra-maker Pfizer Inc. says that the man's use of the company's logo could confuse consumers into thinking the rocket was an actual advertisement for the drug used to treat male impotence.

But 48-year-old Arye Sachs of West Babylon says no one would be deterred from buying the blue pills because of he what he did. He says he knows because he's a "customer."

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October 08, 2008

Everybody up!

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Lingerie League

Check out the video at the site.

Men's dream come true?
Lingerie Football League comes to Seattle

Some say it's demeaning, others say it's sheer genius. What started as a pay-per-view sensation during halftime of the Super Bowl has expanded into a league, and Seattle now has its own team.

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When biologists knit

From the aptly named Why Would You Knit That?! blog.

DissectionKnit.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 09:09 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Moat adventure

Naked guy in Japanese moat adventure
Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Japanese police detained a man - believed to be British - who went skinny dipping in a moat ringing the Imperial Palace in a busy Tokyo business district, attracting a huge crowd, officials said on Tuesday.

The naked middle-aged man jumped into the moat, then threw rocks and splashed water at two policemen who chased him in a rowing boat, a Tokyo Metropolitan Police official said.

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October 07, 2008

That wasn't chicken

I'm guessing that a spell checker commandeered somebody's document.

StirFriedWikipedia.jpg

Via

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It's not a living

Does the tailor Rabinowitz live here?

No.

Who are you?

Rabinowitz.

And aren't you a tailor?

Yes, I am.

Then why did you say you didn't live here?

You call this living?

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Cute cat antics

This clip is major league cute: it's a compendium of cat antics billed as "the best cat video you'll ever see".

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Wait... what?

Man shows up during search: That weed's mine

CRESTVIEW -- A man who showed up at his girlfriend's home Sept. 30 to find it being searched by Crestview Police Department officers claimed the bag of marijuana in the bedroom as his own. "That weed's mine," he told police.

When they told him he was being arrested, he began denying any knowledge of marijuana in the residence. He was taken to jail.

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October 06, 2008

A little mathematical magic

64-equals-65.gif

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The Craigslist caper

Armored truck robber uses Craigslist to make getaway

MONROE, Wash. – In a move that could be right out of a Hollywood movie, a brazen crook apparently used a Craigslist ad to hire a dozen unsuspecting decoys to help him make his getaway following a robbery outside a bank on Tuesday. He then made his escape in an inner tube on the Skykomish River. [...]

The robber sprayed the guard with pepper spray, grabbed a bag of money the guard was carrying and ran about 100 yards to the creek that runs into the Skykomish River, shedding clothes as he ran.

But apparently, the robber had planned ahead. In case anyone was hot on his trail, he had at least a dozen unsuspecting decoys waiting nearby, which he recruited on Craigslist.

Via

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The good, the bad and the ukulele

The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain gives a nice performance of the theme from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly.

And if you liked that, here they are doing Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit and here, the theme from Shaft.

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What is politics?

Harry Truman was once asked by a young student how he might get started in politics.

"You've already started," Truman replied. "You're spending somebody else's money, aren't you?"

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October 03, 2008

Me, oh my, that's a lotta pie

GiantPumpkin.jpg
Man Goes For Record With 1,800-Pound Pumpkin
Pumpkin To Be Weighed On Oct. 11

BOSTON -- A Sharon, Mass., man believes he may have in his back yard the biggest pumpkin anyone's grown this year.

Steve Connolly said his squash weighs about 1,800 pounds, Boston station WCVB reported.

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Not funny

Over the past 50 years Bob Hope employed 88 joke writers who supplied him with more than one million gags, and he still couldn't make me laugh.

- Eddie Murphy

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Defying gravity

A collection of 10 buildings that seem to defy gravity.

PodHouse.jpg

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A little financial advice

Like some US banks, there are banks in Britain (and in continental Europe) that are also having problems. But I wasn't expecting to see this old joke in the pages of The Spectator.

How to make money out of turmoil
Michael Millar
Friday, 19th September 2008

This is the best financial advice I've heard all week:

If you had purchased £1000 of Northern Rock shares one year ago it would now be worth £4.95, with HBOS, earlier this week your £1000 would have been worth £16.50, £1000 invested in XL Leisure would now be worth less than £5, but if you bought £1000 worth of Tennents Lager one year ago, drank it all, then took the empty cans to an aluminium re-cycling plant, you would get £214. So based on the above statistics the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and re-cycle.

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Crossing the channel

A Swiss man flies from France to England across the English Channel using a jet pack.

I didn't realize at first that the flyer was Yves Rossy, AKA FusionMan. He was the subject of this post from early last year.

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Weekend Reading 25

Steven Horwitz, an economics professor at St. Lawrence university, writes An Open Letter to my Friends on the Left about the credit crisis that's been all the news lately. It's an interesting read

Many of you have rightly criticized the ethanol mandate, which made it profitable for corn growers to switch from growing corn for food to corn for fuel, leading to higher food prices worldwide. What's interesting is that you rightly blamed the policy and did not blame greed and the profit motive! The current financial mess is precisely analogous.

Posted by joke du jour at 05:43 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

October 02, 2008

Celebrity tattoos

79 people with celebrity tattoos. Some are very well done (better than the one below) - others, not so good.

CelebrityTattoos.jpg

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Yep. That'll show her.

Man Shoots Own Arm After Being Denied Sex

FORT MYERS, Fla. -- Authorities say a Fort Myers man shot himself in the arm after his girlfriend refused to have sex with him.

The Lee County Sheriff's Office reports that 29-year-old Jonathon Guabello and his girlfriend returned home from a bar early Wednesday morning. The girlfriend told deputies that Guabello had wanted to get intimate, but she wanted to go to sleep.

This reminds me of the old punchline: "Shut up!! You're next!"

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Interesting Ferris wheel

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Warning!

Jeff sends this timely alert.

If you get an e-mail with the subject line, "Nude Photos of Sarah Palin" do not open it. It contains a nasty email virus.

If you get an e-mail with the subject line, "Nude Photos of Hillary Clinton" do not open it. It might contain nude photos of Hillary Clinton.

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October 01, 2008

Visible sound

The white stuff on the vibrating surface is salt.

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Where's a Truth Squad when you need one?

Bogus Flier Says Sheriff Candidate To Perform At Topless Lounge

PENSACOLA, Fla. -- The State Attorney's Office is investigating whether a crime was committed by someone who distributed bogus fliers promising a Panhandle sheriff's candidate would sing and dance at a topless lounge.

This guy probably wishes he had a truth squad like Obama's.

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Squirrel aid

Help a squirrel hide his nuts for winter!

SquirrelUnderpants.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:39 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Yards, feet, whatever

Twelve years ago, while stationed in Germany, I walked into the post exchange at Leighton Barracks in Wurzburg to purchase some velcro. I told the woman in the fabrics section that I needed two yards of the stuff. She frowned and informed me, "We only sell it it feet."

At first I thought she was being humorous, but when I realized she was serious I said, "Ok, then, give me six feet."

For a moment I was afraid she was going to cut it into twelve-inch segments, but instead she hauled out a length and began measuring it against the yardstick attached to the table. She paused, looked, thought, then measured out two yards, cut it and rang it up without another word.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 07:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack