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April 30, 2009

Down the drain

Iceland tries to flush crisis away

A man urinates on April 25, 2009 in the toilets of the Sodoma bar in central Reykjavik where photographs of the former bankers who left their country after the financial crash have been stuck on the urinals. AFP PHOTO OLIVIER MORIN.

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Quick test

Worried that you may have swine flu? Here's a simple test to find out.

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A great illustration of game theory

Via

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Cincinnati's Caped Crusader

Cincinnati Superhero Patrols Streets Fighting Crime
'Shadow Hare' Among Nationwide Group Of Superheroes

CINCINNATI -- Cincinnati police have a new ally in their fight against crime, whether they want it or not.

He calls himself Shadow Hare, and he wears a mask and a cape to conceal his true identity. He's Cincinnati's own version of a superhero fighting crime and injustice where he finds it.

"We help enforce the law by doing what we can in legal standards, so we carry handcuffs, pepper spray … all the legal weapons," said Shadow Hare. "We will do citizen's arrests. We will intervene on crimes if there is one happening in front of us."

Video at the link.

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April 29, 2009

Back to the future

Another funny Mac / PC ad from Apple.

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Underwater church bells

I can't even imagine.

Tuneful toads in international song contest

Forget the Eurovision song contest. The most hotly-awaited international music competition of the year takes place in Germany on May 10 -- the second annual international toad song contest.

Fire-bellied toads from Denmark, Germany, Latvia and Sweden will croak it out for the coveted prize, won last time by Sweden "in the glorious tradition of ABBA," says the nature protection society in Schleswig-Holstein state.

The competitors -- usually between four to seven centimetres (1.5 to 2.7 inches) in length -- sound like "church bells underwater" when they break out in song, the society said.

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Proud Amaris

Model Amaris Brown of Detroit and stylist Kevin Carter of the Detroit suburb Farmington Hills at the International Fantasy Hair Competition. Her hair styling was called Proud Peacock.

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Something else that only a lawyer would say

Web critic angers Orlando Police Chief Val Demings

Orlando police Chief Val Demings is threatening to sue one of her critics for creating a Web site that criticizes her performance.

Valdemings.com is run by Ezell "Easy" Harris, a frequent critic of Demings', and contains a disclaimer stating the chief has no association with the site.

Demings' attorney, Griffith J. Winthrop III, accuses Harris in an April 17 letter of "maligning" and defaming the chief. The letter also says Harris violated the law by using her "persona" and identity and claims Harris' behavior is "malicious." [...]

"Truth is not always a defense," Winthrop said. "I hope he [Harris] gets himself a really good lawyer," he said.

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Kingsford goes for a swim

John sends this clip about a feral piglet (in Australia, I believe). Übercüte!

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Nice place to visit

Tickets For Parking In Own Driveway - DC

Beverly Anderson is mad as hell. She just started to get tickets for parking in her own driveway.

That's right. The District of Columbia is ticketing people who park their cars in their own driveways.

"This is clearly an attempt by the city to extort money out of property owners," Anderson tells WTOP.

Anderson has received two of the $20 tickets in the past month. Anderson has owned the Capitol Hill house (and the driveway, so she thought) for more than ten years and has never gotten a ticket. And she's not alone.

This reminds me of the time the city of Warson Woods ticketed my car for expired plates -- at 3AM while it was parked in my drive. I don't miss living there very much.

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April 28, 2009

The passing of Pontiac

The Detroit Free Press has 73 images in a slideshow about Pontiac's cars through the years. Pictured below is a Bonneville Special, a concept car built in 1954. Evidently it was the first model to be called a Bonneville.

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And I ran across this 1966 Pontiac ad at The Bleat.

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Funniest 'open letter' I've ever read

But read the whole thing.

An Open Letter to James Thatcher, Brand Manager, Proctor and Gamble

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years, and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core™ or Dri-Weave™ absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

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Blessed are the young

A relatively new beatitude from Herbert Hoover.

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Found at TigerHawk's site after his recent visit to the Hoover Presidential Library and Museum.

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Trailing pixie dust, no doubt

Severe Wind Sends Chihuahua Flying Into Sky
Pet Psychic Helps Owners Find Lost Dog In Woods

WATERFORD TOWNSHIP, Mich. -- Tinker Bell has been reunited with her owners after a 70-mph gust of wind picked up the six-pound Chihuahua and tossed her out of sight.

Dorothy and Lavern Utley credit a pet psychic for guiding them on Monday to a wooded area nearly a mile from where 8-month-old Tinker Bell had been last seen. The brown long-haired dog was dirty and hungry but otherwise OK.

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April 26, 2009

Return of the hummingbirds

It's the time of year for the hummingbirds to return to our house, sort of a miniature version of the swallows returning to San Juan Capistrano. That means it's time again for the hummingbird cam. Look in the sidebar for this image.

The bad news is that I'm using an old LinkSys cam (WVC11B) and its web server wants browsers to install an ActiveX control to display the video. That means you'll need Internet Exploder (with appropriate security) or if you run Firefox, an add-on that supports ActiveX (like IE Tab). If you're using some other browser you'll have to roll your own, more's the pity.

Here's a short video from August, '07 of half-a-dozen hummingbirds crowding around the feeder. (This did not come from the Hummingbird cam; it was shot with the Sanyo C40.)

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April 24, 2009

Pet Airways

New animal-friendly airline Pet Airways launched

A US company has launched the world's first pets-only airline dedicated to animal-friendly travel.

Pet Airways will cater for people who loathe the idea of their pets being stored in the cargo hold area during a flight by offering their pet-only service.

From July the new airline will fly dogs and cats in the main cabin of a turbo-prop Beech 1900 passenger plane which has furnishings such as the seats and bins removed, with animals placed in their private pet carriers and locked into a restraint system.

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Slide shows

A Canadian named Hartley Singer has a page where he's collected PowerPoint slideshows. There were 72 there when I visited. Here's one about odd sculptures that I ran through SlideShare.

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Weekend Reading 31

A good article in City Journal about the futility of trying to limit carbon emissions. The author argues for improving sequestration (removing CO2 from the atmosphere).

Bound to Burn

We rich people can't stop the world's 5 billion poor people from burning the couple of trillion tons of cheap carbon that they have within easy reach. We can't even make any durable dent in global emissions—because emissions from the developing world are growing too fast, because the other 80 percent of humanity desperately needs cheap energy, and because we and they are now part of the same global economy. What we can do, if we're foolish enough, is let carbon worries send our jobs and industries to their shores, making them grow even faster, and their carbon emissions faster still.

We don't control the global supply of carbon.

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Truly Japanese

More strange & bizarrre Japanese videos. In this first one, 'asagohan' means breakfast.

Update: Internet Ronin (how approrpriate) comments that there's an English-subtitled version here.


Weirdest anime series ever?
Via

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Pumping up the economy

My ellipses - to remove pron site URLs.

Whipped and Gagged
Is government spending obscene? Well, it paid to train S&M filmmakers.

Talk about an economic stimulus. California taxpayers have paid $46,791 so that employees of the San Francisco pornographer Kink.com might produce more perfect web-based depictions of motorized dildo impalements [...]; do a better job displaying women as they're bound, gagged, and repeatedly electrically shocked [...]; and more effectively transmit images of, well, people doing pretty much what you'd imagine they'd be doing [...].

That's right: California's government has been subsidizing torture-based pornography.

Via

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April 23, 2009

Personal outsourcing

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Now that's a Wonderbra

Bra deflects bullet aimed at woman

DETROIT (Reuters) - A 57-year-old Detroit woman avoided serious injury when the underwire on her bra deflected a bullet shot at her from next door, police said.

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Fun with food

The inventor says, "it is primarily made by inserting dried spaghetti into the hot dogs and then boiling"

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The Milwaukee Way

Instapundit has some fun with the Milwaukee Chief of Police (and no worse than he deserves):

THE RULE OF LAW IN MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN: The Attorney General says it's legal to openly carry a gun, but the police chief says:

"My message to my troops is if you see anybody carrying a gun on the streets of Milwaukee, we'll put them on the ground, take the gun away and then decide whether you have a right to carry it," Flynn said.

So if you see Police Chief Ed Flynn, put him on the ground, take his wallet away, and then decide whether he's accepted any bribes that day. If, after doing that, you think the money's his, give his wallet back. Who cares what the law says? It's the Milwaukee Way!

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April 22, 2009

Wii Guys

Rob (good to hear from you, dude) sends a link to this SNL skit.

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Well, duh!

I don't know which is more predictable: (a) that people are scamming a government program giving away money or (b) that the special inspector is saying (in effect), "It could be only the tip of the iceberg."

What history teaches us is that we never learn from history.

Crimes suspected in 20 bailout cases -- for starters

The special inspector general says TARP is 'inherently vulnerable to fraud, waste and abuse.' The risk grows as the plan becomes more complex, he says.

Reporting from Washington and Los Angeles -- In the first major disclosure of corruption in the $750-billion financial bailout program, federal investigators said Monday they have opened 20 criminal probes into possible securities fraud, tax violations, insider trading and other crimes.

The cases represent only the first wave of investigations, and the total fraud could ultimately reach into the tens of billions of dollars, according to Neil Barofsky, the special inspector general overseeing the bailout program.

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Picassos of chess

There's a post at the Chess blog about unusual chess boards.

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It wasn't brain surgery, luckily

Because the hospital administration obviously aren't up to that.

Wis. nurse called out of surgery and laid off

MADISON, Wis. – A nurse was called out of surgery so a manager could tell her she was being laid off. Dean Health said the surgery was minor and the patient wasn't affected, but the manager who summoned the nurse from surgery violated medical protocol. Dean Health spokesman Paul Pitas said the incident happened at Dean's West Clinic in Madison on Wednesday or Thursday.

Via

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Church bloopers

Carol says, "Things you miss when you don't go to church." (Warning: lamest audio ever - adjust the volume to zero.)

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Don't mess with the judge

Duct tape: when it moves but shouldn't.

Judge Orders Defendant's Mouth Taped Shut
ACLU Refrains From Commenting

Posted: 3:29 pm EDT April 21, 2009Updated: 9:20 am EDT April 22, 2009
POCATELLO, Idaho -- An eastern Idaho judge who lost patience with the disruptive behavior of a defendant ordered court officials to tape the man's mouth shut with duct tape during a court hearing.

The unusual move was ordered by 6th District Judge Peter D. McDermott during a probation violation hearing for Nicklas Frasure, 23.


Judge Taking Names, Seeking To Ban Odd Ones

SANTO DOMINGO, Dominican Republic -- "Dummy Ruiz?" ''Dear Pineapple?"

A judge says such names should be a no-no in this Caribbean country where parents also have been known to model their children's identities after car brands and cartoon characters.

Mazda Altagracia, Toshiba Fidelina, Seno Jimenez (Breast Jimenez), Querida Pina (Dear Pineapple), Tonton Ruiz (Dummy Ruiz) and Querido Familia Perez (Dear Family Perez) are among the unique names listed in the nation's civil registry.

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April 21, 2009

Facebook etiquette

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Nice act

It makes you wonder how his friend knew he was pretending.

Man pretending to fall off bridge actually falls

BLOOMINGTON, Minn. — Police in Bloomington say a 23-year-old man is in stable condition after he pretended that he was falling off a bridge over the Minnesota River, then actually fell off the bridge.

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Goodbye, brain

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Goodbye, Brain! Sorry I Accidentally Exploded You!

So, I'm in L.A. for the weekend, and I just got back from touring the single most amazing place I have ever been: the Michael Jackson auction collection at the Beverly Hilton. AND MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME.

Michael Jackson—in case you hadn't heard—accidentally got super destitute because he spent all of his money on flying carpets and gold-plated robot butlers, so he decided to auction off all his shit to raise a bunch of millions of dollars. (Or something. Please do not quote me on the details.) Except then he changed his mind and asked for the stuff back, so now there's NOT going to be an auction (boooo!), but that's not really important. What's important is that I still got to go and LOOK AT ALL THE STUFF.

THE STUFF.
IS CRAZY.

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How could they tell?

Lake With 45-Letter Name Has Spelling Errors

WEBSTER, Mass. -- Officials have agreed to correct spelling errors in road signs pointing to a central Massachusetts lake with a 45-letter name.

Lake Chargoggagoggmanchauggagoggchaubunagungamaugg in Webster has one of the world's longest place names. It's been spelled many different ways over the years. Some locals have given up and simply call it Lake Webster.

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April 20, 2009

A palindromic sketch

Clever.

Via

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You're as young as you feel

100-Year-Old Woman Rolls Into Bowling History
Centenarian Plans To Continue Competing

RENO, Nev. -- A 100-year-old woman from New Jersey has become the oldest competitor in the history of the United States Bowling Congress Women's Championships.

Emma Hendrickson of Morris Plains, N.J., was presented Saturday night with a plaque and a medallion to commemorate her 50th consecutive appearance in the tournament. She also received a pendant with her birthstone in recognition of her status as the tournament's oldest participant.


Italian Scientist, Turning 100, Still Works

ROME -- Rita Levi Montalcini, a Nobel Prize-winning scientist, said Saturday that even though she is about to turn 100, her mind is sharper than it was she when she was 20.

Levi Montalcini, who also serves as a senator for life in Italy, celebrates her 100th birthday on Wednesday, and she spoke at a ceremony held in her honor by the European Brain Research Institute.

She shared the 1986 Nobel Prize for Medicine with American Stanley Cohen for discovering mechanisms that regulate the growth of cells and organs. [...]

The Turin-born Levi Montalcini recounted how the anti-Jewish laws of the 1930s under Benito Mussolini's Fascist regime forced her to quit university and do research in an improvised laboratory in her bedroom at home.

"Above all, don't fear difficult moments," she said. "The best comes from them."


This calls for a few bars from Old Blue Eyes:

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Biggest ever

15 of the World's Largest Objects. This chair is reported to be in Manzano, Italy.

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Via

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Nude dudes

'Nad trap man' - a nickname you hope never to earn.

Nad trap man set free

A sunbather was left writhing in agony when his testicles became trapped between slats of wood in his deckchair.

Mario Visnjic had been swimming naked in the sea and returned to the wooden chair but his private parts slipped through two slats and got stuck.


OK -- just as long as there are no slatted deckchairs.
Giddy-eh? Brooksville lotto winner opens nude dude ranch

BROOKSVILLE, Fla. -- You've heard of nude beaches, but how about a nude dude ranch?

A multi-million-dollar lottery winner is riling some by opening up his own. Tim Clements of Brooksville hit a $3.3 million jackpot in 2004, and wanted to return to the farm life he grew up in.

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April 18, 2009

Recent tech

Carol sends a Powerpoint show about recent tech. Here it is, courtesy of SlideShare.

Full screen recommended. FullScreenMode.gif

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Cell phone camera blues

Ballot photograph has voter on thin ice

An unidentified individual is facing up to a year in prison for posting a photo of his ballot for mayor of O'Fallon, Mo., online, officials say.

State and country officials said the punishment for willfully sharing a completed ballot represents a class-four election offense that also comes with a $2,500 fine, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch said Wednesday.

St. Charles County Elections Director Rich A. Chrismer said he is seeking to prosecute the voter, who tabbed St. Louis Blues player T.J. Oshie, 22, as a write-in candidate for mayor.

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Why you never kill a black snake

Tucson John sends 7 pictures of a black snake eating a rattle snake. Whoever sent the pix added, "The rattler was rattling the whole time!"

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Are you a terrorist?

Are You a Terrorist? It's easy to find out!

According to recent reports issued by the Missouri Information Analysis Center and the Department of Homeland Security, domestic terrorist activity may be on the rise. Are you part of the problem? Find out now. This quiz only takes a few seconds and will provide you (and the relevant authorities) with answers, dammit!


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Talent

Very funny but parts of the dialogue may not be SFW.

Via

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Don't inhale

The bar which gets you tipsy on its air

Adults are often reminded to drink responsibly but customers entering a new cocktail bar where they are literally enveloped in a mist of alcohol are warned to breathe responsibly.

Just 40 minutes inside the venue – which delivers an intoxicating vapour of gin and tonic – will leave you feeling slightly merry.

Punters are also advised to don special protective suits as they enter the walk-in cocktail to avoid going home smelling like a brewery.

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April 16, 2009

For that 'almost baptized' feeling...

I'm a little late with this one, which made more sense before Easter, but it's still funny enough for a look.

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Goodbye to all that

Gadget Graveyard: 10 Technologies About to Go Extinct

Looking back at the 20th century, it's clear that even the biggest and baddest gadget sensations will one day fall victim to technological evolution.

As each year brings tinier, shinier toys, it's easy to forget that not too long ago typewriters were the professional alternative to freehand, Walkmen ruled the portable-music market and extra-long phone cords would let you speak to friends while standing 10 feet away from the wall-mounted base.

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B1509

A Young Pulsar Shows Its Hand

A small, dense object only twelve miles in diameter is responsible for this beautiful X-ray nebula that spans 150 light years. At the center of this image made by NASA's Chandra X-ray Observatory is a very young and powerful pulsar, known as PSR B1509-58, or B1509 for short. The pulsar is a rapidly spinning neutron star which is spewing energy out into the space around it to create complex and intriguing structures, including one that resembles a large cosmic hand.

In this image, the lowest energy X-rays that Chandra detects are red, the medium range is green, and the most energetic ones are colored blue. Astronomers think that B1509 is about 1,700 years old and is located about 17,000 light years away.

B1509_Nebula.jpg

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No news is good news?

Read all about it: man gets on bus

In a satirical jibe at stringent censorship imposed by Fiji's military Government, the Daily Post newspaper has been filling the space with some no news.

Headlines in Wednesday's edition included "Man gets on bus" over an item reading: "In what is believed to be the first reported incident of its kind, a man got on a bus yesterday. 'It was easy,' he said. 'I just lifted one leg up and then the other and I was on.' " [...]

Fiji's military ruler Frank Bainimarama has posted censors in the offices of newspapers and radio and television stations, ordered foreign journalists out of the country and shut down the Australian Broadcasting Corporation's radio transmitters.

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April 15, 2009

Childbirth song

A "parody written by Helen Austin and performed at Voices Three 2007".

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Some not-so-sweet revenge

Ohio Woman Jailed Over Adult Mags Sent To Neighbor
Ohio Woman Serving 60 Days In Jail For Payback Stunt

PIQUA, Ohio -- An Ohio woman is serving 60 days in jail because police said she ordered adult magazines in a neighbor's name during a feud. Police said the 47-year-old woman told authorities she wanted payback after being charged with a misdemeanor because of a complaint made by the other woman.

The neighbor told police she was billed hundreds of dollars for magazines such as Playboy and Hustler.

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Why everybody needs a dog

Bill sends a link to this clip of dog antics. (I don't know what's up with the chinchilla at the start.)

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Deja moo

I think this story's for real.

Deep Doo-Doo Inspires Cattle Ranch's Name

COMANCHE, Texas -- Mack Stark figures cattle raisers can appreciate the name of his west central Texas ranch and makes no apologies for the words in big black letters on the steel arch over the dirt and gravel driveway.

The name's not exactly fit to print, but let's just say "Deep Droppings Cattle Co." or "Deep Excrement Cattle Co." wouldn't have the same effect. "That has a ring to it," the 75-year-old rancher said.

A ring of truth, Lavon Stark, his wife of almost 45 years, chimes in.

"If you've ever been in the cattle business, you know," she added.

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Horse-dos

1 of 3 images at the site.

HorseDos.jpg
Pictured: The hilarious (and utterly pointless) horses with hair-extensions

Sometimes things don't have to have a point - they just have to make you smile.

And these images of horses with hair extensions do just that.

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No satire here

If you've wondered whether what you heard about the Community Reinvestment Act is true, here's an interesting incident. And it's not from The Onion.

FDIC Criticizes Massachusetts Bank With No Bad Loans for Being Too Cautious

A Massachusetts bank that has defied the odds and remained free of bad loans amid the economic crisis is now being criticized by the Federal Deposit Insurance Corp. for the cautious business practices that caused its rare success.

The secret behind East Bridgewater Savings Bank's accomplishments is the careful approach of 62-year-old chief executive Joseph Petrucelli.

"We're paranoid about credit quality," he told the Boston Business Journal. [...]

But rather than reward Petrucelli's tactics, the FDIC recently criticized his bank for not lending enough, slapping it with a "needs to improve" rating under the Community Reinvestment Act, the Journal reported.

Via

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April 14, 2009

Another lesson

...about judging a book by its cover.

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Reading the news

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Via

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Shaking down your ex

This is as crazy as the doctor who wanted his ex to give his kidney back.

Woman Plots Own Kidnapping To Collect Ransom

MIAMI, Fla. -- Authorities say a Miami woman helped hatch a kidnapping plot so she could collect ransom from her ex-husband.

Investigators believe Alejandra Arriaza planned her own kidnapping and that of her 17-year-old son on April 9. According to the FBI and local South Florida law enforcement agencies, two Miami men, Angel Ponce and Joel Boza, also helped with the plan. All three face kidnapping charges.

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Kaboom!

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Deficits

Christmas is the time when kids tell Santa what they want and adults pay for it. Deficits are when adults tell government what they want and their kids pay for it.

~ Richard Lamm, Colorado governor (1975 - 1987)

Via

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The Deficit Trials

This clip was made in 1986.

Via

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The buzz from New York

HIGH TIMES FOR US BIZ

The economy has gone to pot.

With the nation's fiscal health in the tank, homegrown marijuana operations have soared by 60 percent.

Since Oct. 1, the Drug Enforcement Administration has broken up eight hydroponic pot-growing set-ups around the state -- with five in the Big Apple.

That compares with five for all of the previous fiscal year.

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April 13, 2009

Dans in het Centraal Station van Antwerpen

A little cheer on a cold, rainy day in the Midwest.

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Weakest excuse ever

Woody Harrelson claims he mistook photographer for zombie

(CNN) -- Woody Harrelson defended his clash with a photographer at a New York airport Wednesday night as a case of mistaken identity -- he says he mistook the cameraman for a zombie. [...]

The photographer, who was not identified, captured the encounter on a small camera after his larger one was broken.

Harrelson, who is being sued by another TMZ photographer for an alleged assault in 2006, did not deny his involvement.

"I wrapped a movie called 'Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character," Harrelson said in a statement issued Friday by his publicist.

"With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo, who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie," he said.

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Peeps Show 3

It's a slideshow of the Washington Post's Third Annual Peeps Diorama contest.

PeepsDioramas.jpg

Via

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Easier than flying to Haiti

Going 2 divorce u...

RIYADH (Reuters) – A Saudi man has divorced his wife by text message, a newspaper said Thursday.

The man was in Iraq when he sent the SMS informing her she was no longer his spouse. He followed up with a telephone call to two of his relatives, the daily Arab News reported.


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April 11, 2009

Beyond Twitter

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Easter humor

Mary sends 10 cartoons about Easter

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April 10, 2009

Happy Easter redux

From 2005, it's worth another go.

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Smile... you're on Candid Camera

Burglary Live On The Internet
Florida woman watches intruders rob home via surveillance feed

APRIL 9--A Florida woman who used a live Internet video feed to monitor the interior of her home was shocked yesterday when she saw two men burglarizing her residence in real time. Jeanne Thomas, 43, was seated at her office desk when two strangers appeared in her living room (the intruders got into Thomas's Boynton Beach house through a doggie door at the rear of the home, according to the below probable cause affidavit). Thomas, who set up the live video stream after her home was burglarized last October, immediately called 911 to report the burglary (click here to listen to her conversation with a police operator). Cops raced to her home and arrested the two men inside the house: Curtis Williams, 20, and Steven Morales, 19.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Where is all the money going?

Here's a Fox News clip about Bailout Watch, an iPhone app that tracks bailout allocations and expeditures. Yours for only $1.99.

BailoutWatch.jpg

If you don't know where the money's going, don't feel lonely because...
Congress needs Google to find out where stimulus money went

On February 14, with the passage of the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act, Congress shoveled $787 billion of stimulus money out the door. Now they're using Google to find out where it went.

During the stimulus debate, the bill's supporters stressed that it included strong oversight safeguards. But audits and reports are months, if not years, away. Oversight will be after the fact; right now, with the money actually beginning to flow, members of Congress have little or no idea where it is going. What, for example, is the Department of Housing and Urban Development doing with the $1.5 billion Congress approved for a new program called the Homeless Prevention Fund? Lawmakers don't know.

If they wanted, majority Democrats could demand real-time details from the Obama administration. But minority Republicans have no power to compel the administration to do anything. So Rep. Eric Cantor, the Republican Whip in the House, and GOP Sen. John Thune have set up a working group to track spending as best they can.

You might think that two high-ranking elected officials would have ways to learn such things, but the fact is, they don't. At the moment, the best tools Cantor and Thune have are Google and the Lexis-Nexis newspaper database.


Posted by joke du jour at 06:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

How bad is the economy?

Carol sends this picture with the comment, "Cats are so dramatic!"

BadEconomy.jpg

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Sounds like it might have worked

Man Streaks In Hopes Of Being Deported

PORT ST. LUCIE, Fla. -- Authorities say a man claiming to be an illegal immigrant ran naked down a Port St. Lucie street so that he would be sent back to Mexico. [...]

Carlos then said he planned to punch an officer to get arrested, but decided not to after police told him it wouldn't be in his best interest to do that. That's when he took off his clothes and ran down the street.

Carlos was charged with indecent exposure and being held for immigration officials.

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April 09, 2009

Happy Easter!

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From the mouths of babes

The seven-year-old agony aunt who is dishing out advice on the radio

A straight-talking schoolgirl has become Britain's youngest agony aunt - at just seven years old.

Elaina Smith was snapped up by her local radio station after she called in and advised a listener who wanted to dump her boyfriend.

The broadcaster was so impressed with her advice - to go bowling with friends and drink a mug of milk - they offered her a weekly slot to give tips to thousands of adult listeners.

Elaina tackles problems ranging from how to dump boyfriends and how to cope with relationship breakdown to dealing with smelly brothers.

She said: 'I used to want to be a vet when I was younger, but now I want to be on the radio.

'I really enjoy it and tell my friends about it at school. I say whatever comes into my head and people like what I say.'

Posted by joke du jour at 06:46 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

How to intimidate your chocolate bunny

Show it this clip:

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ILVTOFU

Tofu license plate too foul for Colo. DMV
A tofu lesson to learn: Mind your P's, Q's, F's and U's

Kelley Coffman-Lee's plan to advertise her love of tofu on a license plate ran afoul of censors at the Division of Motor Vehicles.

The 38-year-old mother of three asked the DMV to approve a special plate emblazoned with "ILVTOFU" for her Suzuki SL-7.

It was not 2 B.

The agency turned down the request, saying the plate might be offensive to some people.

"My whole family is vegan, so tofu is like a staple for us. I was just going to have a cool license plate, and the DMV misinterpreted my message," the Centennial resident said.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 07, 2009

Shadow puppets

Carol sends this video of Raymond Crowe doing shadow puppetry to Louis Armstrong's recording of What a Wonderful World.

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Wolfram | Alpha

Here's an interesting interview with Stephen Wolfram about next month's release of Wolfram | Alpha, a 'computational knowledge engine'. The idea reminds me of the Logic Engine described in Neal Stephenson's The System of the World.

Wolfram|Alpha: Searching for Truth
Stephen Wolfram talks with Rudy Rucker about his Upcoming Release

Stephen Wolfram has warped my life three times, and now here comes a fourth.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Shipping containers

Here's an interesting slideshow about housing built from shipping containers.

ShippingContainerHouses.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 08:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Of course it's not silly

TEACHER AIDE SUES STUDENT, 11, OVER DESSERT STORM

A mad dash for ice cream at a Queens grammar school earned an 11-year-old boy more than a trip to the principal's office.

Rosanna Tomack, a former teacher's aide at PS 94 in Little Neck, is hauling little Joseph Cicack into court after the youngster barreled into her and knocked her down, injuring her bad back, according to a lawsuit filed in Queens Supreme Court.

Joseph, about 8 at the time of the May 2006 incident, is above the age when a child can be sued, said Edmond Chakmakian, Tomack's lawyer.

"It's a legitimate case," Chakmakian said. "It's not silly."

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April 06, 2009

How the market works

HowTheMarketWorks.jpg

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 05:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

'Theft by finding'?

STUDENT ARRESTED...FOR BEING HONEST

AN HONEST student who handed in a mobile phone he found was stunned when police arrested him for theft.

Paul Leicester, 18, played the Good Samaritan when he discovered the handset lying in the street.

He rang the last number dialled and told a friend of the owner he would leave the phone at a nearby police station. But officers arrested him for "theft by finding", held him for four hours and took a DNA sample.

Yesterday Paul said: "I thought I was doing the right thing and had it thrown back in my face. I wouldn't go to the police in future. All I was doing was the honest thing. It was a shocking experience."

Via

And I ran across a hilarious parody of this 'crime', a la Monty Python (via The Agitator).

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Three good reasons

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Tip: skip the 'hand gesture'

Ear bitten off in road rage incident
Confrontation quickly turns to violence

NEW CASTLE, Ind. - New Castle police said a road rage incident escalated to violence Wednesday when a driver actually bit off another man's ear.

Jefferey Guffey said he was riding his bike and stopped to talk to two kids on the side of the road when Curtis "Alan" Cross sped by in his SUV.

Guffey said he told Cross to slow down. But he said Cross pulled his SUV in front of him and put it in reverse.

"(Cross) encountered a bicycle that he found frustrating to get around," said Detective Ross Frame with New Castle Police Department.

Police said both men exchanged hand gestures. Guffey said Cross then got out of his car and started yelling at him.

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April 04, 2009

DMV auto repair

This clip's been getting a lot of attention (it was featured on Fox News) but it's too funny not to post.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Shake your wimple

'Lap dancing nun' to perform for cardinals and bishops
An Italian lap dancer turned nun is to perform a religious dance in front of an audience of Roman Catholic cardinals and bishops.

Anna Nobili, 38, spent years working as an exotic dancer and striptease artist in night clubs in Milan.

But she swapped string bikinis and high heels for a nun's habit after a visit to the shrine of St Francis in Assisi, a place of pilgrimage for millions of Catholics in Umbria, in 2002.

Sister Nobili, as she became, joined an order of nuns called the Sister Workers of the Holy House of Nazareth.

She claims to have been reborn by her faith in God and practises a form of "mystical" choreography which she calls "Holy Dance".

Posted by joke du jour at 06:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

More New Math

A collection of clever 'equations'.

NewMath.jpg

Hat tip: PBB

Posted by joke du jour at 06:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Red herring

Police track DNA of a cotton bud maker for two years

Police in Germany hunted a sinister phantom killer for two years after finding the same DNA at 39 different crime scenes - only to discover that the source was a woman who made the cotton buds used to collect the sample!

The case was one of the most puzzling in recent times. Hundreds of detectives in six specialist committees were set to work hunting the ominous female serial killer.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:30 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack