« May 2009 | Main | July 2009 »

June 30, 2009

Epic kludges

From ThereIFixedIt.com

ThereIFixedIt.jpg

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hypnotism works

Tucson John sends a funny story.

A woman comes home and tells her husband, 'Remember those headaches I've been having all these years? Well, they're gone.'

'No more headaches?' the husband asks. 'What happened?'

His wife replies, 'Angie referred me to a hypnotist and he told me to stand in front of a mirror, stare at myself and repeat "I do not have a headache. I do not have a headache. I do not have a headache."

'Well, it worked! The headaches are all gone.'

'That's wonderful,' the husband says.

Then his wife says, 'You know, you haven't been exactly a ball of fire in the bedroom these last few years... Why don't you go see the hypnotist and see if he can do anything for that?'

Reluctantly, the husband agrees to try it. Following his appointment, the husband comes home, rips off his clothes, picks up his wife and carries her into the bedroom. He puts her on the bed and says, 'Don't move, I'll be right back.'

He goes into the bathroom and comes back a few minutes later and jumps into bed and makes passionate love to his wife like never before. His wife says, 'WOW! That was wonderful!'

The husband says, 'Don't move! I'll be right back.'

He goes back into the bathroom, comes back and round two was even better than the first time. The wife sits up and her head is spinning 'OH MY GOD!' she exclaims.

Her husband says again, 'Don't move - I'll be right back.'

With that, he goes back in the bathroom. This time, his wife quietly follows him in the bathroom, she sees him standing at the mirror saying, "She's not my wife. She's not my wife. She's not my wife."

Posted by joke du jour at 06:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Phone advice from Argentina

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What next?

Families told doormats are health and safety risk

Families living in a flat block have been told to remove welcome mats from their porches because they are a health and safety risk.

They have also been told to remove pot plants because they create trip hazards and fire risks.

Residents at the block in Burslem, Stoke-on-Trent, Staffs. say the items have never caused problems.

We'd call them 'potted plants' here in States.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Robô gigante

Danilo writes from Brazil, "A friend of mine told me this is model RX78 of the first series of Gundam. It was built to celebrate 30 years of the series that has the same name."

CNet News has a slideshow about this giant 'mecha' in Japan.

RoboGigante.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 29, 2009

Welcome to Now

An interesting page hosted by Sprint.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What color was the alert level?

'Suspicious package' triggers evacuation, turns out to be mosquito trap

A mosquito trap kicked off a bomb scare at Peterson Air Force base this morning that led to the evacuation of the Base Exchange store.

The incident started at 10:30 a.m. when a customer saw the trap and reported it as a "suspicious package." Base officials ordered the evacuation and closed Peterson's east gate as bomb-disposal airmen rushed to the scene. The scare was short-lived as bomb experts identified it as machine for killing mosquitoes rather than people.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Coffeebot

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Mind control

Toyota Wheelchair Controlled By Brain Waves

TOKYO -- Toyota Motor Corp. said it has developed a way of steering a wheelchair by just detecting brain waves, without the person having to move a muscle or shout a command.

Toyota's system, developed in a collaboration with researchers in Japan, is among the fastest in the world in analyzing brain waves, it said in a release Monday. [...]

The person in the wheelchair wears a cap that can read brain signals, which are relayed to a brain scan electroencephalograph, or EEG, on the electrically powered wheelchair, and then analyzed in a computer program.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Animal 'toons

Mary sends a collection of 10 cartoons of animals.

AnimalToons01.jpg
AnimalToons02.jpg

AnimalToons03.jpg

AnimalToons04.jpg

AnimalToons05.jpg

AnimalToons06.jpg

AnimalToons07.jpg

AnimalToons08.jpg

AnimalToons09.jpg

AnimalToons10.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 27, 2009

No! Not the Cheetos!

Shelbyville couple accused of assault using Cheetos

SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. -- Authorities in Shelbyville say a couple got into a fight using orange puffy snacks.

The Bedford County Sheriff's Department said 40-year-old James Earl Taylor and 44-year-old Mary S. Childers argued at a home Sunday using Cheetos.

Deputies said they were charged with domestic assault. No one was hurt.

Posted by joke du jour at 10:26 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Animal thieves

We have a dog like the Dalmatian at our house.

H.T. Bill

Posted by joke du jour at 10:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Not to mention the redundancy

Four-letter gobful

FIZZY drink makers Tango were in a tizzy last night after discovering a new can design spelt out a rude word. [Photo at the link - JdJ.]

The problem emerged with the first letter of each word on slogan Tango With Added Tango.

Neil Murphy, 33, who spotted the blunder at his Preston off licence, said: "I found it quite funny but I can see why parents will find it offensive."

Posted by joke du jour at 10:24 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

How to fail a breathalyzer test instantly

H.T. Rob

Posted by joke du jour at 10:23 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

They needed undercover agents for this?

Craigslist Pot Ad Leads To Bust
Undercover Detectives Respond To Ad

QUINCY, Mass. -- A man has been arrested after he allegedly placed an advertisement on Craigslist selling marijuana. Police said undercover detectives responded to the advertisement and bought a small bag of pot from 30-year-old Christopher Gray for $45.

Posted by joke du jour at 10:22 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hang Twenty

Posted by joke du jour at 10:21 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 25, 2009

Walkin' on air

A couple decided to get in married in zero gravity. (No, they didn't go into orbit.) From their blog at Erin & Noah's Zero Gravity Wedding:

ZERO-G News Brief

Weightless Wedding Coverage
June 22, 2009

The ZERO-G Weightless Wedding has generated an unbelievable amount of TV, print, radio and online coverage throughout the country and has even reached the UK, China, Canada, New Zealand and Australia. At this point, the wedding has been covered in nearly 300 television segments and more than 200 articles and blogs.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 07:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Solid indeed, citizen

Mary sends a link to this clip of the Ross Sisters doing a little song & dance in the 1944 movie Broadway Musical. (That's Manhattan Serenade during the dance scene, for you Godfather fans.)

It's a pretty amazing video; you'll need to watch the first couple of minutes to see what makes their act special.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

How it works

Tucson John sends this little tale.

It's August in a resort town that sits on the shores of a lake. It's been raining for days and the little town looks totally deserted. It's tough times, everybody's in debt and everybody's living on credit.

Then a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a $100 bill on the reception desk and goes up to inspect the rooms and pick one.

The hotel proprietor takes the $100 bill and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

The butcher takes the $100 bill and pays his debt to the pig farmer.

The swineherd takes the $100 bill and runs to pay his debt to the feed store.

The feed store owner takes the $100 bill and pays off his debt to the town's prostitute. In these hard times, she'd given him "services" on credit.

The hooker runs to the hotel with the $100 and pays off her tab there for the rooms that she's rented when she brought clients there.

The hotel proprietor then lays the $100 bill back on the counter so that the rich tourist will be none the wiser.

At that moment, the rich tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, picks up his $100, says that he didn't really like any of the rooms and he leaves town.

No one earned anything. However, the whole town is now without debt and it looks to the future with a lot of optimism.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how the United States Government is doing business today.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Mandles

Rob says, "A fairly well done parody." I'll second that.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Ageless

Doctors Baffled, Intrigued by Girl Who Doesn't Age
Years Pass, but Brooke Greenberg Remains a Toddler. No One Can Explain How or Why.

Brooke Greenberg is the size of an infant, with the mental capacity of a toddler.

She turned 16 in January.

"Why doesn't she age?" Howard Greenberg, 52, asked of his daughter. "Is she the fountain of youth?"

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 07:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 23, 2009

Out for a ride

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:44 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

You can't make this stuff up

Czechs pick wobbly way to hand over EU presidency

PRAGUE (AFP) – Prague's historic Charles Bridge witnessed a wobbly symbolic handover of the Czech European Union presidency to Sweden on Saturday as officials passed a keg of Czech beer from one boat to another.

"We were looking for a symbol of the Czech presidency that we could pass to the Swedes, and I think we were right when we ended up with a keg of beer," Czech minister for EU affairs Stefan Fule told AFP.

The Czech Republic, which holds the EU presidency until June 30, boasts the highest beer consumption per capita in the world.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:43 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Invisible cat gear

Carol sent some pix of cats with 'invisible objects'; then I found someone had compiled them into this clip.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:42 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

What's this? The I'm Stupid defense?

Woman Says Money Too Fake To Be Felony
Counterfeiter Says Bills Looked Too Fake To Count

WASHINGTON -- The Supreme Court has refused to hear arguments from a Wal-Mart cashier who said the fake money she agreed to take from counterfeiters was so poorly made that she shouldn't have been convicted of working with them.

The court on Monday refused to hear an appeal from Crystal Porter, a Wal-Mart cashier in Seagoville, Texas, who worked with counterfeiters to pass off photocopied $100 bills in the store in exchange for gift cards. When caught, she was convicted of conspiring to manufacture and pass counterfeit money.

But her lawyers argued that the counterfeited money was so poor, no one would believe that it was real. Since the money doesn't look remotely real, they said, Porter could not have conspired to make or pass counterfeit money.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:41 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 22, 2009

More photomicrography

Steve sends a link to this collection of photomicrographs.

ScratchNSniff.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Nuke the moon?

"...may also trigger conflict with known extraterrestrial civilizations on the moon" WTF?

NASA moon bombing violates space law & may cause conflict with lunar ET/UFO civilizations

The planned October 9, 2009 bombing of the moon by a NASA orbiter that will bomb the moon with a 2-ton kinetic weapon to create a 5 mile wide deep crater as an alleged water-seeking and lunar colonization experiment, is contrary to space law prohibiting environmental modification of celestial bodies. The NASA moon bombing, a component of the LCROSS mission, may also trigger conflict with known extraterrestrial civilizations on the moon as reported on the moon in witnessed statements by U.S. astronauts Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong, and in witnessed statements to NSA (National Security Agency) photos and documents regarding an extraterrestrial base on the dark side of the moon.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:05 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

More interesting music

Joe sends a link to this clip of a guy making music with (almost) only a can of Coca-Cola.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Arnie sez: Grow a pair

Schwarzenegger's Testicle Sculpture A Flop
Calif. Governor Gives Senate President Sculpture Of Bull Testicles

SACRAMENTO, Calif. -- It was a gift no girlie man would give.

Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who has warned lawmakers they need to act boldly and make some tough budget choices, sent Senate President Pro Tem Darrell Steinberg a metal sculpture of bull testicles.

It was intended as a gag gift but Steinberg, a Sacramento Democrat, was not amused and returned the football-sized gift with a terse note about the seriousness of the ongoing negotiations.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Nice toes

This reminds me of Michael Franks' song Popsicle Toes.

NiceToes.jpg

Here's Diana Krall's rendition of Popsicle Toes - 'smighty fine.



(No, that's not Ms Krall in the image above, though that woman does resemble her.)

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Go razorbacks!

Hogs Wild: Loose Pigs Shut Down Ark. Interstate

Posted: 10:53 am EDT June 22, 2009Updated: 10:56 am EDT June 22, 2009
LITTLE ROCK, Ark. -- Hogs on the highway aren't always motorcycles.

Arkansas State Police say a tractor-trailer rig hauling pigs overturned early Monday on a major highway and some of the four-legged hogs got loose.

The wreck and the roaming porkers closed a stretch of Interstate 430 connecting Little Rock to North Little Rock.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 21, 2009

Happy Solstice V

'Enjoy the summer,' is my thought for those of you on my side of the equator.

SummerTime.jpg
And some seasonally appropriate retro music from Sam Cooke:

Posted by joke du jour at 01:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 20, 2009

Let there be light

The fascination with permanent magnet-only motors is difficult to resist. But I don't believe any person or company has ever delivered a successful commercial motor.

Posted by joke du jour at 10:36 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

News you can use (2)

This article is a few weeks old now but bring on the CNG.

U.S. Gas Fields Go From Bust to Boom

CADDO PARISH, La. -- A massive natural-gas discovery here in northern Louisiana heralds a big shift in the nation's energy landscape. After an era of declining production, the U.S. is now swimming in natural gas.

Even conservative estimates suggest the Louisiana discovery -- known as the Haynesville Shale, for the dense rock formation that contains the gas -- could hold some 200 trillion cubic feet of natural gas. That's the equivalent of 33 billion barrels of oil, or 18 years' worth of current U.S. oil production. Some industry executives think the field could be several times that size.

"There's no dry hole here," says Joan Dunlap, vice president of Petrohawk Energy Corp., standing beside a drilling rig near a former Shreveport amusement park.

Huge new fields also have been found in Texas, Arkansas and Pennsylvania. One industry-backed study estimates the U.S. has more than 2,200 trillion cubic feet of gas waiting to be pumped, enough to satisfy nearly 100 years of current U.S. natural-gas demand.

Posted by joke du jour at 10:35 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

JibJab does Father's Day

Posted by joke du jour at 10:34 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Just walking the dog, officer

Man Giving "Penis Some Air" Arrested in Memphis

MEMPHIS, TN – Memphis police say a man was arrested for masturbating in a public park.

According to a court document, it happened at Court Square in Downtown Memphis. Police say, in the document, officers were waved down at the intersection of Court and Main Street by a man who told them a person was exposing himself. The witness told the officers the man was sitting on a park bench with his penis out and was masturbating.

Police say 41-year-old Augustus Hudgins was arrested for indecent exposure. Hudgins told the officers that there was a misunderstanding. He said he was just giving his penis some air, according to the court document.

Posted by joke du jour at 10:33 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Stretching the boundaries

Danilo sends a link to Chewing in Venice, a collection of sculptures by Simone Decker which are designed to look like chewing gum.

ChewingInVenice.jpg

If you follow the link to the collection, click the 'See photos' link at that page and then click on each photo to advance to the next.

Posted by joke du jour at 10:32 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Or they could ask just about any man

NIH Funds $423,500 Study of Why Men Don't Like to Use Condoms

The federal government is spending $423,500 to find out why men don't like to wear condoms, a project government watchdogs say is a nearly-half-a-million-dollar waste of taxpayer money.

Researchers at Indiana University's Kinsey Institute, with funding from the National Institutes of Health, are investigating why "young, heterosexual adult men" have problems using condoms. The study will include "skill-based intervention" to teach grown men how to use protection.

Posted by joke du jour at 10:31 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 18, 2009

Synchronized swimming in Japan

Posted by joke du jour at 07:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Beer's better than pesticide

Beer better option than pesticide to kill rats

Kuala Lumpur, Jun 3 (ANI): Pesticides were once believed to be the best defence against pests, but now an advocate of safe substitutes has come up with safer ways of getting rid of them.

Stephen L. Tvedten from US believes that it is better to use intelligence against pests, and he has come up with more than 2,800 safe and effective alternatives to pesticides.

Tvedten, a former boxer, has even posted a virtual pest management encyclopaedia called "The Best Control II" which, among others, states that using aspartame (sweetener) or even beer is effective in killing rats.

"All one has to do is use a lasagne pan which has a thin layer of oil on it," the New Straits Times Online quoted him as saying.

"Then pour some beer on the pan. Once rats consume the beer, they would develop some internal reaction before their tummies blow up," he said.

I'm not sure I understand how beer & oil will kill a rat. But maybe if I have a few beers, I'll figure it out..

Posted by joke du jour at 07:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dress rehearsal

Guess the vehicle this plate was found on.

YoureNext.jpg

H.T. Daithi at MacRaven

Posted by joke du jour at 07:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

PETI - People for the Ethical Treatment of Insects

Just say 'petty'.

PETA Wishes Obama Hadn't Swatted That Fly
PETA Sends Obama Bug Humane Bug Catcher

WASHINGTON -- The group People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals wants the flyswatter in chief to try taking a more humane attitude the next time he's bedeviled by a fly in the White House.

PETA is sending President Barack Obama a Katcha Bug Humane Bug Catcher, a device that allows users to trap a house fly and then release it outside.

Catch flies and release them outside?! What a bunch o' maroons.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 17, 2009

A little astronomy

Carol sends a slideshow of photos taken by the Hubble Space Telescope; full screen mode recommended.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:05 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

D'oh! (2)

How funny would it be to have a Homer Simpson voice font for your TTS?

GPS Makers To Use Homer Simpson's Voice
Twentieth Century Fox, TomTom Manufacturers Reach Deal

Would you trust directions from Homer Simpson?

The makers of the TomTom GPS navigation devices think you might.

They've reached a deal with Twentieth Century Fox allowing the users of the portable systems to download Homer's voice.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Augment your mobile browser

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Say it

Post of the day comes from Coyote blog. It's the funniest thing I read today.

We all know the problem with oil companies: They restrict supply to drive up prices to earn profit margins that are nearly a third of those earned by Microsoft while simultaneously keeping prices too low and promoting addiction to oil which produces a lot of CO2 and they never want to reinvest their profits in exploring for new oil so the government needs to restrict drilling in every major prospective US region so the oil companies will be stopped from greedily drilling everywhere and destroying the environment.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Safari adventure

SafariStory.jpg

H.T. Mary

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 16, 2009

Confused thief

Robber apparently confused over loot at 'Black Diamond' company

SALT LAKE COUNTY -- Deputies are looking for a man who robbed what he may have thought was a diamond company. Black Diamond Equipment actually manufactures climbing and skiing equipment.

Salt Lake County sheriff's deputies say the robber entered the company on 3900 South near 2000 East early Saturday morning.

The robber brandished an ice pick, threatened the shift manager and demanded precious metals and money. The Salt Lake Tribune reports the manager told the robber that the company does not deal in diamonds or precious metals.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Craigslist

From YouTube: "Weird Al's homage to The Doors, featuring Ray Manzarek himself on keyboards. Video directed by Liam Lynch."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Draw, pardner (2)

Card Game Settles Election
Town Council Race Won By Candidate With Highest Card

CAVE CREEK, Ariz. -- A tie was broken in the battle over Cave Creek's final Town Council seat by a game of chance, KPHO-TV reported.

A month after the top candidates finished tied with 660 votes apiece, the race was settled by a card game.

According to Arizona state law, if an election is deadlocked the winner must be decided "by lot," also referred to as a game of chance. [...]

McGuire went first and drew a six of hearts. Trenk went next and drew a king, making him the winner.

"In an ideal world we'd have had another run-off, but this is what the state Legislature mandates," Trenk said. "I'm happy with (the) result. A king of hearts is pretty good."

This reminds me of how Show Low, Arizona was named.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

China the beautiful

This is one of hundreds of photos of China. They're mostly cityscapes like this one -- including a large number of nice panorama. But there are some shots of the countryside, a couple of aerial photos and even 1 false-color satellite image.

BeautifulChina.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Now he really needs a bath

Puppy Flushed Down Toilet, Survives
Plumbing Firm Able To Locate Dog After Toilet Bath

LONDON -- A British pup had a narrow flush with disaster after his 4-year-old master decided to give him a bath in the toilet. Daniel Blair was quoted as telling Britain's Daily Mirror tabloid that he tried to clean the muddy 1-week-old cocker spaniel because he was muddy, and he flushed him down the drain.

The plumbing firm, Dyno-Rod, has more details, including video, here.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 15, 2009

Palm Pre ad

A pretty nicely done ad for this Palm product. I've read that it was made in China and the dancers are Shaolin monks.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

So manly and meaty

Piers Morgan strips for Burger King's new meat scent

Burger King, the fast food chain, has launched a meat-scented cologne in Britain with Britian's Got Talent's Piers Morgan stripping off for the advertising campaign.

The "masculine" body spray reputedly smells like grilled beef and has been designed to boost the libido.

Called Flame, it is available in Selfridge's department store for £4.99 from today.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sand castle competition

A collection of pictures of sand castles from (I believe) the Cannon Beach competition in Oregon.

OregonSandCastle.jpg

H.T. Carol

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

And looking for a bumpy road

Police: Teens had sex in moving car

Two teenagers were charged with misdemeanors after a police officer reportedly caught them having sex — in a moving car.

The officer spotted a blue Hyundai driving erratically on Hyde Park Street on Thursday and turned on his emergency lights to see if the driver needed help.

The car suddenly pulled across the road, though, and came to a stop. When the officer went to the driver's door, the teens — Robert Gonzalez, 19, and Melissa Washington, 18 — quickly tried to pull up their pants.

They had been sitting together in the driver's seat and "it became obvious that they had been engaged in sexual intercourse," the officer wrote in an arrest report.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 14, 2009

Get along

Steely Dan doing Kid Charlemagne, one of my favorites back in the day. This is from their DVD Two Against Nature, recorded live in 2007 at the Sony Studios in New York.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 01:14 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 13, 2009

Happy Father's Day

Posted by joke du jour at 07:16 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Take that!

Rochester man flies Nazi flag after dispute over leaf-blowing

ROCHESTER - Any World War II veterans visiting Chestnut Hill Mobile Home Park should prepare themselves for a shock - a Nazi swastika is fluttering defiantly from a flagpole on Riley Street.

The homeowner, Erlon Johnson, has several poles in his front yard, and displays a Support Our Troops flag and a Stars and Stripes, on either side of the flag of the Third Reich that, to many Americans, still gives great offense.

Johnson, 75, says he was in the Korean conflict, asserts he is patriotic and that the Nazi flag is not intended as an insult to the armed forces, but rather, is intended to irk a neighbor with whom he had a leaf-blowing dispute two years ago.

"I sent off to North Carolina and got a lot of flags," Johnson told the Rochester Times last week. "If there was an Osama bin Laden flag I would fly that."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:15 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Three questions

Three questions from a redneck engineer

RedneckEngineer.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:14 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

His lucky star

Schoolboy survives meteorite hit
A German schoolboy is thanking his lucky stars - after surviving being hit by a meteorite.

Gerrit Blank, 14, was rushing to school when he saw a massive fireball heading straight towards him from the sky.

"At first I just saw a large ball of light, and then I suddenly felt a pain in my hand," he explained. "Then a split second after that there was an enormous bang like a crash of thunder."

The white-hot meteorite hit the ground so hard it left a foot wide crater in the tarmac and a three-inch long scar on Gerrit's hand where it bounced off him.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:13 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Slow motion hummingbird

Posted by joke du jour at 07:12 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A fine rant

A snippet from a post about creation and evolution - it's amazingly brief for all it manages to say.

I have heard enough from creationists about how if we're merely risen slime we're still slime and that in some unspecified way we are therefore still tainted by the slime. But what slime! This piece of slime can be moved to tears by the music of Palestrina, this piece of slime can be amused by the plays of William Shakespeare, this piece of slime can parse HTML and FORTRAN*. This piece of slime can factorize quadratics, do integration by parts and hold an opinion on the Copenhagen Interpretation. This is one hell of a piece of slime and so, dear reader, are you.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 07:11 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 11, 2009

Pwned! (3)

Despair, Inc., the demotivational leader, nails it with this shirt for Government Motors.

GovernmentMotors.jpg
CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN.
THESE CLOTHES MAKE THE MAN SAD.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 05:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The very soul of compliance

Now...Go Break The Windows
Crank caller wreaks havoc on Arkansas hotel, duping employees, guests

JUNE 9--A telephone prankster posing as a sprinkler company employee caused havoc Saturday morning at an Arkansas Holiday Inn when he convinced an employee to set off the hotel's fire alarm, smash windows, shut down electricity, and break a sprinkler head that flooded the building lobby.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 05:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Deadline

A very clever stop-action short film done with Post-it notes.

Posted by joke du jour at 05:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The next bubble

Realtors are selling parking spaces?

Parking Space In Boston Sells For $300,000
Parking Space Believed To Be Priciest In City's History

BOSTON -- A real estate agent said a resident of Boston's upscale Back Bay section plunked down $300,000 to own what is believed to be the priciest parking space in the city's history.

Coldwell Banker Residential Brokerage agent Debra Sordillo told The Boston Globe that several residents of a building on Commonwealth Avenue bid for the coveted space, driving up what had been the original asking price of $250,000.


Posted by joke du jour at 05:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 10, 2009

What governor?

Tucson John sends a video of a wind turbine that fails to regulate its speed in a high wind. Parts everywhere...

Posted by joke du jour at 06:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

People really keep money in mattresses?

Woman mistakenly junks $1 million mattress
Israeli frantically searches landfill sites after tossing out mom's life savings

JERUSALEM - An Israeli woman mistakenly threw out a mattress with $1 million inside, setting off a frantic search through tons of garbage at a number of landfill sites, Israeli media reported Wednesday.

The woman told Army Radio that she bought her elderly mother a new mattress as a surprise on Monday and threw out the old one, only to discover that her mother had hidden her life savings inside.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Don't try this at home

Rob sends a link to a clever stunt.

OrangeBall.gif

Posted by joke du jour at 06:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

It's always good to have a few cold ones ready

This guy was lucky the beer was lite

Dusk neared Saturday as 28-year-old Kayte Taylor and three girlfriends pulled up to Sam's Market on Santa Rosa Avenue to buy beer.

Kayte and the one pal who accompanied her inside chatted merrily as Kayte reached into the cooler. Just then a man strode up, bumped Kayte and snatched her wallet from her other hand.

"He's got my wallet!" Kayte yelled as the robber headed for the door.

Taking chase, Kayte reached the sidewalk to see the guy pushing and trying to mount a bicycle. It dawned on Kayte there was something useful in her hand.

A 12-pack of Miller Lite -- bottles. Her friends' eyes widened as Kayte hoisted the box to shoulder height, reared back and shot-put the beer at the burglar maybe 12 feet away.

Pow. Down he went. Four women were on him like kids on a burst piñata. Kayte took back her wallet.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 09, 2009

Cool billboard

One of the coolest advertisements we've seen lately is for Berger Paints. In a billboard for their campaign titled, Natural Colours, a live painter appeared to be painting the blue of the sky onto the billboard. It was achieved by cutting out strips that are the actual shape and size of the roller strokes. This is stop-in-your-tracks advertising. Love it!
BergerPaintsBillboard.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

It's a miracle (2)

Color-Changing Frog Worshipped In India
Frog Turned Phenomenon Refuses To Eat

According to The Sun newspaper, Reji Kumar spotted the frog in a flower bed. Now the jar in which he keeps the frog has become an altar to those seeking miracles.

Kumar, of Thiruvananthapuram, Kerala, said the frog was a dazzling white color when he first spotted it.

"By night the frog was dark yellow, and then it became transparent so you could see its internal organs," said Kumar. He said the changing colors were miraculous.

"It seemed like a miracle to me that this frog had so many different coats. So now people come to see him and pray to him," said Kumar.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Best Bud Light ad ever?

It's a pretty funny one.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A burger a day keeps the doctor away

100-Year-Old Gets McDonald's Birthday Party
McDonald's Employees Surprise Michigan Woman

BRIGHTON, Mich. -- A Michigan woman has celebrated her 100th birthday at the same eatery she's visited regularly for the past 15 years -- McDonald's.

Georgia Boynton stopped last week at the restaurant in Brighton for her customary hamburger and coffee. She got a surprise party with cake and balloons.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A one-of-a-kind hitch installation (I hope)

This is pretty unbelievable: more details at the link.

Class lll Hitch Install
Wouldn't you love to see how the trip went, reckon he ended up doin' some off roadin' somewhere…
RedneckTrailerHitch.jpg

H.T. Tucson John

Posted by joke du jour at 06:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

A new definition for 'disorderly conduct'

Man Arrested For Mowing Unkempt Grass At Park
John Hamilton Said Grass Was 1 Foot High

SANDUSKY, Ohio -- An Ohio man arrested for mowing unkempt grass at a public park said he just wanted to make his city look nice.

John Hamilton said he took control of the situation because the grass in Sandusky's Central Park was about a foot high. According to a police report, a witness said Hamilton was blowing grass onto the sidewalk and shredding trash in the park that had not been picked up.

Police said they arrested 48-year-old Hamilton after he refused to stop mowing and charged him with obstructing official business and disorderly conduct.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 05, 2009

Voodoo

Joaquin Baldwin's entry in this year's NFB competition.

Posted by joke du jour at 09:35 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Marriage therapy

Jacqueline and her husband Mark went for to a counselor after 25 years of marriage. When he asked what the problem was, Jacqueline went into a passionate, painful tirade listing every problem they had ever had in the 25 years they had been married.

She went on and on and on: neglect, lack of intimacy, emptiness, loneliness, feeling unloved and unlovable, an entire laundry list of unmet needs she had endured over the course of their marriage.

Finally, after allowing her to vent for a while, the therapist got up, walked around the desk and asked Jacqueline to stand. He unbuttoned her blouse, embraced her, and fondled her breasts while he kissed her passionately. Her husband Mark watched with a raised eyebrow.

Jacqueline shut up, buttoned up her blouse and quietly sat down in a daze.

Then the therapist turned to Mark and said, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do this?"

Mark thought for a moment and replied, "Well, I can drop her off here on Mondays and Wednesdays, but on Fridays, I play golf."

Posted by joke du jour at 09:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sixth sense

Bill says, "This is cool."

Posted by joke du jour at 09:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Not clear on the concept

Talk about cutting off your nose to spite your face...

Egyptian reportedly severs penis for love

CAIRO (AP) — A 25-year-old Egyptian man cut off his own penis to spite his family after he was refused permission to marry a girl from a lower-class family, police reported Sunday.

After unsuccessfully petitioning his father for two years to marry the girl, the man heated up a knife and sliced off his reproductive organ, a police official said. [...]

The man was rushed to the hospital, but doctors were unable to reattach the severed member, the official added, citing the police report filed after the incident.

Posted by joke du jour at 09:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Repair mission

The Frame, a photo blog by the Sacramento Bee, has a collection of 16 photos of the recent Atlantis mission to repair the Hubble Space Telescope.

WorkingOnHubble.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 09:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 04, 2009

It runs in the family

'Took forever'? My wife and I debated our first child's name for the 6 months before he was born.

Triplet Gives Birth To Her Own Set Of 3
Naming Babies 'Took Forever' Father Says

DETROIT -- A Michigan woman who is one-third of a set of triplets is celebrating the birth of her own three babies.

Amber Ali delivered Amir, Armann and Amari Whitaker on May 26 at Sinai-Grace Hospital in Detroit. The 23-year-old woman told The Detroit News she's relieved the boys arrived safely.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Interesting music

A couple of clips featuring uncommon musical instruments.

Here's Eliana Burki on the Alphorn with her band, playing a jazz-rock fusion style.

And this is Liron Man playing a hang. I can't categorize his style but I enjoyed it nonetheless.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Anything for a buck (2)

Plano teen eats fetal pig parts on classmates' dare

Some kids will do anything for money.

Last week at Shepton High School in Plano, a ninth-grader agreed to eat parts of a fetal pig – and not just any parts – for $50. [...]

"What was I eating?" the boy recalled asking.

Testicles, the students replied. [...]

School officials, who declined to comment, apparently took a different view, especially because the pigs are soaked in formaldehyde, a toxic chemical used to preserve the tissue.

They called the boy's mother, who couldn't be reached for comment, and a trip to the hospital followed.

"She said, 'How could you be so stupid?' " the boy said.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

After the field trip

OffTheTractor.jpg

H.T.: Rob

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 03, 2009

Cockroach chopper

Daiithi at MacRaven sends a link to this innovation:

RC Flying Cockroach

We offer very popular, authentic USB sushi drives for people who don't conveniently live in Tokyo, and we offer this product for people who don't live in New York.

The remote control also acts as a docking station, allowing you to charge the insect. A 30 minute charge yields five minutes of flying.

RcCockroach.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 08:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

It was the dressing that really ticked him off

Police: Road rage incident involved coins & ranch dressing

BOISE -- An 18-year-old Boise woman has been charged with felony aggravated battery after a road rage incident in Boise Monday afternoon. [...]

When officers arrived, they found a woman in a pickup had rear-ended a Kia sedan several times, causing considerable damage to the car. [...]

According to police, the young man driving the Kia called dispatch to report he was being followed by a woman in a red GMC Sonoma pickup. He said the woman had cut him off, yelled obscenities at him, and was throwing coins and ranch dressing at his car. He tried to get away, but she continued to follow him.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Multiple personalities

Kevin Spacey doing a number of quick, good impersonations.

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 08:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Cell phone elbow

'Cell Phone Elbow' On The Rise
Kink In Elbow Can Cause Nerve Damage

DENVER -- The age of sports injuries like tennis elbow, golf elbow and hyperextending the elbow is giving way to a new age of technology-related injuries.

Move over, Nintendo thumb, and make way for cell phone elbow.

The condition, which causes numbness and tingling in the fingers, is caused by the way someone holds a cell phone.

According to the Cleveland Clinic Journal of Medicine, the medical term for the condition is cubital tunnel syndrome. It was the subject of a recent study at the Cleveland Clinic.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

June 02, 2009

The straight dope

Posted by joke du jour at 06:26 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dirt cheap robbery

Neb. Cigarette Bandit Wore Beer Carton As Disguise

LINCOLN, Neb. -- Police in Nebraska are looking a man who stole cigarettes while disguising himself with a beer carton on his head. Lincoln police Capt. Bob Kawamoto said the man walked into a Kwik Shop convenience store before dawn Monday wearing an empty Bud Light box on his head as a mask.

In St. Louis, there's a local chain of stores named Dirt Cheap Cigarettes & Beer.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:25 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Ersatz lion

From the site: "If you are a store owner from Brakpan (South Africa) & you are tired of people breaking into your shop on Voortrekker Road, what are you going to do? Simple, shave your dog to look like a lion."

ErsatzLion.jpg

Via

Posted by joke du jour at 06:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

She'll never sleep again

Bullet Misses Sleeping Girl, Hits Pillow
Shots Fired From Outside Oklahoma Family's Home

MOORE, Okla. -- Police are investigating a shooting outside a Moore home in which a bullet narrowly missed hitting an 8-year-old girl while she slept in her bed.

The bullet came through a window, shattered the glass and woke up the girl and her parents. They didn't find the bullet hole until the next morning, reported KOCO-TV in Oklahoma City. [...]

The bullet seemed to have disappeared until Jennifer's stepdaughter noticed a mark on her pillow.

"The front of the pillow had a hole. The back of it didn't," she said. "I dug around and it was deep in there."

The bullet had landed inside the pillow that was just inches away from her stepdaughter.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:23 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

The Day the Robots Woke Up

Posted by joke du jour at 06:22 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Careful what you say

Police: Cop Chomps After 'Bite Me' Remark
Literal Leaning Officer Charged With Biting Woman

Posted: 3:35 pm EDT May 27, 2009Updated: 1:36 pm EDT May 28, 2009
MERIDEN, Conn. -- An analyst at the Connecticut Police Academy says a co-worker responded literally to her "bite me" remark and chomped on her.

Former Waterbury police Capt. Francis Woodruff was charged Tuesday with disorderly conduct and released on a promise to appear in court. He's accused of biting academy license and applications analyst Rochelle Wyler on April 24.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:21 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack