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August 31, 2009

There's an app for that

A parody ad for the iPhone.

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Their boys in blue

Police taking valuables from unlocked cars to drive home anti-theft message
Police in Richmond upon Thames, south west London have been taking valuable items from unlocked cars to encourage motorists to take better care of their property.

While forces across the country have been sending warning letters to the owners of cars when they see possessions unattended, this is believed to be the first time that goods have been "stolen" to drive the crime-prevention message home.

When officers remove goods, they leave a note in the car telling the owner that they can retrieve their possessions from Twickenham police station.

The initiative has been launched in an area where theft from cars has been rife.

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Still more funny animals

'These are actually good,' writes Carol about these 14 funny animal pix

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Posted by joke du jour at 06:04 PM | Comments (2) | TrackBack

Sh*t my dad says

The author's bio for this Twitter feed reads, "I'm 28. I live with my 73-year-old dad. He is awesome. I just write down sh*t that he says."

Why would i want to check a voicemail on my cell phone? People want to talk to me, call again. If i want to talk to you, I'll answer.

Via

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Music for ads

Eric O'Shea's suggestions for music to accompany commercials.

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We don't need no eduction

'Education' misspelled on CMS teacher coaster

CHARLOTTE, N.C. -- You would think the word "education" is pretty easy to spell. Well, think again.

It was a costly and embarrassing mistake made by Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools' Career and Technical Education Department when they decided to hand out some freebies to teachers.

"That's pretty bad if they approved that and it's not even spelled correctly," said Louise Wood, a parent.

The misspelled version of "education" was printed on 1,800 beverage coasters, the kind that you use in your car. [...]

The "a" in "education" was missing -- spelled "eduction."

This reminds me of the letter we got from a school's head when we were looking for a school for our boys. This fellow sent us a letter with a sentence in it that was (a) a non sequitur and (b) a fragment - an incomplete sentence. Bzzt! Thanks for playing...

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August 29, 2009

Call the doctor

This is 1 of 6 unusual ads run by a physician in suburban St. Louis County for his medical practice.

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The "Only like 20 minutes from Brooklyn" part is a reference to Brooklyn, Illinois, just across the Mississippi from downtown St. Louis. Many striptease clubs are located in that area, since they're illegal in Missouri. In local parlance, that area is called 'the east side' and its meaning is unambiguous. This ad is a parody of the ads run by the strip joints in that area.

The ad photos accompany an article from the River Front Times, Dr. Feelbad: When a west-county physician went haywire, no one intervened to shut him down.

Poor Dr. Kalk lost his family to a divorce, his medical practice, and his license to practice in Missouri. He's living with a sister in Austin, Texas these days.

Hat tip: Paul

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August 28, 2009

At the edge of space

This 11 minute clip is about Top Gear's James May's ride in a U2.

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This should make things interesting

Shifting the Right of Way to the Left Leaves Some Samoans Feeling Wronged

APIA, Samoa -- Sometime in the early morning hours of Sept. 7, residents of this small Pacific island nation will stop their cars, take a deep breath, and do something most people would think is suicidal: Start driving on the other side of the road.

Samoa is about to become what's believed to be the first nation since the 1970s to order its drivers to switch from one side of the road to the other. That's spawned an islandwide case of road rage. Opponents have organized two of the biggest protests in Samoan history, and a new activist group -- People Against Switching Sides, or PASS -- has geared up to fight the plan.

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Headache!

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MIL's revenge

Mother-in-law sues comedian daughter-in-law over too many jabs

Comedian Sunda Croonquist is being sued by her mother-in-law in federal court in New Jersey for unspecified damages for making the family the butt of jokes, the Associated Press reports.

The suit demands that she remove any offensive statements from her website, routines and recordings.

That could take a lot of yuks out of Croonquist's standup routine, which discusses the fact that she's half-black, half-Swedish, grew up a Roman Catholic and married into a Jewish family.

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Blonde antelope

H.T. Mary

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Luckily, mass transit is pretty good in Santa Barbara

Driving Test Taker Crashes Into DMV Building

A person completing a driving exam ran his or her vehicle into the Department of Motor Vehicles building on Castillo Street, causing significant damage to the building.

Neither the driver nor the test examiner were injured in the accident, which happened just after 9:30 Thursday morning, August 27. The vehicle jumped a curb and stopped after plowing two feet into the corner of the building on the south side.

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August 27, 2009

Order now

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A bear walks into a bar

A polar bear walks into a bar and says, "Give me a scotch and... uh... Coke."

"Why the long pause?" asks the bartender.

"I don't know," says the bear. "I've always had them."

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Milkman vs. Mailman

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Only $2,500 per square foot

NYC's 'Skinniest' House Has Fat Price Tag

NEW YORK -- It's 9½ feet wide and 42 feet long and is billed as the narrowest house in New York City. But there's nothing small about its asking price: $2.7 million.

Located at 75½ Bedford St. in Greenwich Village, the red brick building was built in 1873, sandwiched in a narrow space that used to be an alley between homes at 75 and 77 Bedford.

The narrow house is considered a curiosity and is one of the neighborhood's most photographed homes. A small plaque on the house notes that poet Edna St. Vincent Millay once lived there; so did anthropologist Margaret Mead.

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The eagle and the swan

Steve forwards some pix of a swan being attacked in mid-air by a bald eagle.

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Earlier every year

From Britain:

Council puts Christmas lights up four months early 'to save taxpayers money'

For most of the country, the summer came rather late. Luckily, Christmas is making up for its tardiness - by arriving four months early.

Shoppers in Rochdale were stunned to see workmen putting up neon decorations including a bobble-hatted penguin on skis, holly leaves and a giant Noel sign.

The council defended the move by saying the display will be also be used to mark festivals celebrated by other faiths - including the Muslim festival of Eid next month.

But locals said the idea is ' ludicrous'. Mo Ali, who runs a newsagent's shop in the village of Milnrow, said: 'I think it's far too early to be putting decorations up like this when we're still enjoying summer weather.

'A lot of people are not at all happy about it.'

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August 26, 2009

Through the glass

Here's another illusion in broad daylight by Chris Angel. This guy reminds me of Cyril Takayama.

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There she is, Ms Missouri Nursing Home

Elderly Beauty Queens Vie For Pageant Crown

INDEPENDENCE, Mo. -- Nell Shepherd was past her century mark when she competed in her first beauty pageant with a walker and lively stories that made judges tear up with laughter. She reveled in the shows, so much that she insisted she be buried with her sparkling tiara.

"We bawled, my staff, when we heard that" request, said Carla Lungren, co-chairwoman of the Ms. Missouri Nursing Home Pageant, which plans to crown its 29th annual champion Wednesday at the Hyatt Regency Crown Center in Kansas City.

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Who're you gonna believe...

Me or your lyin' eyes? The two images below are identical.

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Mark Perry at Carpe Diem has a post about the two towers illusion that appeared here two days ago. And he has links to many others as well. I particularly liked this one, called the break of the curveball.

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I'll bet he caught it when he got home

Man leaps into river to escape wife's nagging

A MAN jumped into a fast-flowing river because he couldn't take his wife's nagging anymore.

The Chinese truck driver, known as Zhou, and his wife were on a ferry on the Yangtze River when it all became too much for him, the Chongqing Evening Post reports.

Members of the ship's crew saw the man suddenly run out of his cabin with his hands covering his ears, and shouting: "I can't stand it any longer."

They initially thought he was suffering from an ear injury and went to help him but found he was unhurt.

"While we were still puzzling over the this, his wife ran up and continued nagging him," said a crewmate.

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Measure twice, drill once

This 10-minute clip is about an oil exploration rig that drilled into a salt mine and drained a Louisiana lake.

Via

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Not always right

From (The Customer Is) Not Always Right, a collection of anecdotes in that line.

(A customer is cashing in a check worth $650.00.)

Me: "How would you like that back, sir?"

Customer: "What do you mean?"

Me: "The cash…would you like it in large or small bills?"

Customer: "I didn't know you had different sizes of cash. Can I see which one fits in my wallet better?"

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August 25, 2009

A little something for nothing

"Putpockets" give a little extra cash

LONDON (Reuters) – Visitors to London always have to be on the look out for pickpockets, but now there's another, more positive phenomenon on the loose -- putpockets.

Aware that people are suffering in the economic crisis, 20 former pickpockets have turned over a new leaf and are now trawling London's tourist sites slipping money back into unsuspecting pockets.

Anything from 5 pounds ($8) to 20 pound notes is being surreptitiously deposited in unguarded pockets or open handbags in Trafalgar Square, Covent Garden and other busy spots.

The initiative, which runs until the end of August in London before being rolled out countrywide, is being funded by a broadbrand provider [TalkTalk - JdJ], which says it wants to brighten up people's lives in unusual ways.

Via

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What a neighbor

Friendly Neighbor Gives Woman Kidney

KANSAS CITY, Mo. -- Few things can be more neighborly than offering your kidney to a friend.

Two Kansas City women have lived next door to each other for 30 years. But Claudine Jackson and Jo Ann Walz really got to know each other after Walz donated her kidney to Jackson.

The two had always been friendly, but have grown much closer over the past three years as Walz helped with car rides to dialysis treatments, doctor's appointments and the grocery store.

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8-bit trip

Clever stop-action clip done (mostly) with Legos.

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What a guy...

Police: Man Robs Piggy Bank, Steals Son's Car

BRONSON, Fla. -- Authorities believe a Bronson man stole his 28-year-old son's car and took money from his grandson's piggy bank.

According to a Levy County Sheriff's Office news release, Ronald Joyner was arrested Monday and charged with grand theft auto and petty theft. Jail records indicate that Joyner was being held on $6,000 bond Tuesday. It wasn't immediately clear if he had an attorney.

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What a ride

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News from Door County, Wisconsin via the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel:

A motorist sits precariously on the Maple-Oregon Bridge in Sturgeon Bay after getting stuck on the bridge as it opened Thursday. The motorist safely went on her way after the bridge was lowered. Police are hoping she'll call to explain how she managed to get stuck in that position.

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What timing

Home Catches Fire Hours After Alarm Installed

BALTIMORE -- A woman survived a raging house fire after a smoke alarm that had been installed just hours earlier woke her up, said Baltimore City Fire Chief Kevin Cartwright.

At 1:45 a.m. crews responded to a report of a house fire with people trapped inside, WBAL-TV reported. When firefighters arrived they found a home nearly engulfed in flames. When the call was dispatched, Capt. Kirk Thomas realized that he and his crew had been at the home several hours earlier installing smoke alarms.

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August 24, 2009

An ending that suprises everybody

This street magician does a trick with an ending that surprises (almost) everyone.

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With no direction home

This comes from Britain, where a GPS system is evidently called a 'sat nav system'

Bob Dylan could soon voice sat nav systems

Bob Dylan could soon be directing drivers down Highway 61 as car giants frantically bid to sign him up as the new voice of their sat nav systems

The singer - a global superstar who has sold more than 70 million albums in a 45-year career - revealed that two major motor manufacturers had approached him to provide a audio road map commentary.

And I'm thinking of Like A Rolling Stone:

How does it feel
To be on your own
With no direction home
Like a complete unknown
Like a rolling stone?

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The year's best

Scientific American says this was the year's best optical illusion. The two towers below are two copies of the same image.

I'm not sure which year they referring to; the article was published in May 2007.

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Via

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Golf decrepitation

A funny story from Rob:

It was a sunny morning, a little before 8:00 am, on the first hole of a busy course. I was beginning my pre-shot routine, visualizing my upcoming shot when a piercing voice came over the clubhouse loud speaker, "Would the gentleman on the women's tee back up to the men's tee please?'"

I could feel every eye on the course looking at me. I was still deep in my routine, almost impervious to the interruption.

Again the announcement, "Would the man on the women's tee kindly back up to the men's tee?"

I simply ignored the guy and worked to keep my concentration, when once more, the man yelled into the microphone, "Would the man on the women's tee back up to the men's tee, please?!"

I finally stopped, turned, and shouted back, "Would the loud mouth with the microphone please be quiet and let me play my second shot?"

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Synchronized swimming in Korea

You have to wonder what the fish thought of this.

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Take that! (2)

Humour is an 'act of aggression'
Humour is an act of agression and telling jokes is a method of reinforcing a social hierarchy, according to a German study.

The research, which was published in the Journal of Pragmatics, suggest that the role of humour is not to make other people laugh as much as it is to make others know who is in charge.

The theory explains why until recently it has been extremely rare for women to tell jokes in front of men, according to Helga Kotthoff of the Frieburg University of Education.

She said: "Those 'on top' are freer to make others laugh. They are also freer to be more aggressive and a lot of what is funny is making jokes at someone else's expense.

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August 22, 2009

Weekend Watching 7

It never ceases to amaze me to hear Daniel Hannan - a British politician - talking Jeffersonian ideas of government, but he does a great job of it. The gist of this speech is: Do not do what we've done in Britain.

The speech is broken into four clips; the other three are after the break. Total time is ~30 minutes.






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Afghan Lord

Danilo in Brazil sends a link to a photo collection by Nisam Fekrat in Afghanistan.

Mr. Fekrat also keeps a couple of blogs: one in English, called Afghan Lord and one in Farsi called Kabul Diary. I found the English blog pretty interesting.

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August 21, 2009

How cute is this?

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You can't make this stuff up (2)

Earring-Wearing Chihauhua Stolen From Gay Bar

WILTON MANORS, Fla. -- A man with a tattoo of Britney Spears' name on his arm or neck allegedly stole a Chihuahua with pink earrings from a South Florida gay bar.

Forty-eight-year-old Brian Dortort said Thursday he has spent weeks searching for his 4-month-old pooch, named Hudson Hayward Hemingway. The dog, about the size of a softball, was in a specialty pet bag.

Dortort says he let a man hold the Chihuahua for a moment during a friend's birthday party, then both of them disappeared.

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They're right!

These are pretty offensive. You've been warned. 15 Most Offensive, Banned and Rejected Ads.

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Posted by joke du jour at 07:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Pretty corny

Man Spells Out Marriage Proposal In Ohio Field

KALIDA, Ohio -- A wheat farm has become a field of dreams for an Ohio woman whose boyfriend spelled out a marriage proposal on the land and took her up in a plane to see it. Aleasha Decker, 23, said she was excited and stunned when she read the question, "Aleasha, marry me?" in 20-foot, sheet plastic letters. They sat atop a harvested field in Kalida, about 60 miles southwest of Toledo in northwestern Ohio. [...]

After Decker spotted the message, she turned to find Kahle with a ring.

A June 5, 2010, wedding is now in the works.

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Car chase with a twist

I wonder if this video is related to this story.

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Fast thinking (2)

Shop Worker, 72, Foils Robbers With Beer Can

LANCASTER, Pa. -- Police said a 72-year-old pizza shop employee foiled a shotgun-point robbery by throwing a can of beer at the perpetrators.

Lancaster police Lt. Todd Umstead said two men with bandannas over their faces attempted to rob Six Packs on Vine at closing time Wednesday. One of the men pointed a shotgun at the employee, who was stocking a cooler.

Umstead said the man threw a 12-ounce can of beer at the robber and both assailants fled the store.

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August 20, 2009

The Hindenberg

Life.com has a slideshow about The Hindenberg. I hadn't known that its fabric envelope was covered with "iron oxide and something called aluminum-impregnated cellulose acetate butyrate, or CAB -- an incredibly flammable compound that today is used in rocket fuel."

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Oops (4)

Bank Sells Woman's Home By Mistake

Anna Ramirez was settling back into her house Monday after she said she was thrown out for no reason, WPLG-TV reported.

On Wednesday night, Ramirez was evicted by a man who bought her house. The problem is, her house wasn't for sale. The bank, Washington Mutual, auctioned the house off by mistake while Ramirez was in the process of modifying her loan, the station reported.

"This is the deal that the bank already sent me, and I already sent my first payment, and I'm getting kicked out of my home. That's not right," Ramirez said that night.

In a matter of hours, all of the things she accumulated during her three years in this house were on the front lawn.

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He's gone

Criss Angel does a disappearing illusion in broad daylight.

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Community property

An elderly couple goes to Burger King, where they carefully split a burger and fries. A trucker takes pity on them and offers to buy the wife her own meal.

"It's all right," says the husband. "We share everything."

A few minutes later, the trucker notices that the wife hasn't taken a bite. "I really wouldn't mind buying your wife her own meal," he insists.

"She'll eat," the husband assures him. "We share everything."

Unconvinced, the trucker asks the wife, "Why aren't you eating?"

The wife snaps, "Because I'm waiting for the teeth!"

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Come out fighting

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Don't flame me, bro

Police get a shock when new Taser briefly ignites suspect

It didn't take Lancaster police long to discover a potential danger with their newly issued stun guns: They can set their targets on fire.

One day after officers received Tasers this week, two of them were patting out the flames on Daniel Wood, a 31-year-old homeless man who reportedly had been inhaling a chemical from a spray can to get high. Wood was not seriously injured but was taken to a hospital as a precaution, said Lancaster Police Chief David Bailey.

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August 19, 2009

United breaks guitars - part 2

Dave Carroll continues his musical crusade against United Airlines with another video about his broken guitar. (The first one, United Breaks Guitars appeared here.)

His story's been written up in Salon.

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No good deed goes unpunished

Thrill Seeking Skydiver's Parachute Fails to Open, Instructor Saves Her, She Sues for Two Broken Fingers

You can't make this stuff up. On July 12, 2003, Lisa Nutley sought to celebrate her birthday with the thrill of her life - a recreational parachute jump. So, she drove to SkyDive the Ranch (web site here), a skydiving facility in Gardiner, New York that's been in business for over 30 years.

As this was Lisa's first ever jump, it was to be a tandem jump - an instructor would be tethered to her. [...]

Off she went to celebrate her 33rd birthday. Lisa jumped out of the plane with Robin Rohemo, her tandem partner, and that's when it got really thrilling - the main parachute failed to deploy and Lisa hurtled toward the ground, somersaulting in the air, terrified of imminent and certain death when she'd smash into the round at 100 miles per hour. [...]

Rohemo was able to free up the back-up chute, he and Lisa floated down to safety and no one died that day.

Whew, what a thrill. Maybe Lisa should've paid extra for the additional thrill. Instead, because her third and fourth fingers were fractured during the fall, she lawyered up and sued SkyDive claiming that Rohemo - her savior - had wrongfully told her to hold tight to a dangerous area of the parachute he was trying to cut away and then never told her to let go at an appropriate time. This, she and her lawyer claimed, presented Lisa with an enhanced risk not assumed or inherent in a tandem jump.

Via

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RTFM (2)

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Just say No (2)

Theme park bans B.O.

A Surrey theme park is banning visitors from putting their hands in the air while riding its rollercoasters in hot weather following complaints about body odour.

The new rule will apply when the temperature goes above 25C at the Thorpe Park in Chertsey where 'Say no to BO' signs will tell visitors to keep their arms down, reports the Daily Telegraph.

With temperatures expected to reach 29C today, managers expect an excess of perspiration as visitors queue to go on rides.

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Swimming dogs

A cute video about dogs in the water.

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OK, now I'm confused

Black Man Pleads Guilty to Posing as Obama-Hating White Supremacist on Facebook

NEW ORLEANS — An African-American man from Mississippi admits posing as a white supremacist to send a death threat across state lines by Facebook.

The U.S. Attorney's Office says 20-year-old Dyron L. Hart of Poplarville pleaded guilty Wednesday in federal court to making a threat in November 2008.

Hart admitted creating a name and using a white supremacists' photo to pose as a white man who planned to kill blacks because Barack Obama had been elected president.

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August 18, 2009

iGun rampage

The language in this clip is not even close to safe for work, so mind the volume.

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Pretty dark satire

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named….

"CASH FOR CODGERS" And It Works Like This…

Couples wishing to access health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription dependent 'codgers' will garner the highest amounts.

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No fingerpainting

Here's one of eleven signs on this topic at PassiveAgressiveNotes.com.

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Where else but New Jersey?

Cockroach race to amuse pest control pros at annual seminars

NEW BRUNSWICK -- Pamploma, Spain has its annual running of the bulls and New Brunswick is the site of the annual running of the cockroaches. Not just any cockroaches, but Giant "Hissing" Madagascar Roaches.

On Thursday on the Cook College campus of Rutgers University more than 600 of the state's pest management professionals will gather for a day of seminars led by the nation's leading authorities on all aspects of pest control, but at noon they will break for lunch and the 15th Cockroach Derby, during which two very large cockroaches will race down a 6-foot-long Plexiglas race track.

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Where else but Japan?

Via

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ANWPG

'Angry Neighbors With Paintball Guns' amazed at reaction

Durham, N.C. — A group of Durham residents taking aim at speeders with the threat of a paintball gun said Tuesday that they are "amazed and gratified at the reaction."

The group, Angry Neighbors With Paintball Guns, posted signs at strategic locations throughout the city, warning motorists to slow down or risk being shot at with a paintball gun. [...]

"We received top story coverage on local television news, more than half a dozen requests for interviews from local media outlets, and generated hundreds of comments on blogs, media Web sites and Facebook," according to an e-mail from a group member, who declined to release his or her name. "We received numerous requests from individuals who wish to receive their own copies of our sign. We inspired the creation of a Facebook group. We clearly touched a nerve in the city of Durham."

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August 17, 2009

Requiem in sand

Danilo sends a link to a sand-painting clip and he writes, "This is a long clip too. But I think it´s fantastic. And the music is good too."

Google's translator leads me to believe this woman is named Kseniya Simonova and this appeared on a show called Ukraine has Talent

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The Great Flu

Swine Flu Inspires New Video Game

LONDON -- Since swine flu first emerged in April, it has sparked panic, vaccine production and now, a video game.

In an effort to raise awareness, Dutch researchers have created a game that challenges players to control a new pandemic.

"It is actually what is happening now, what is happening in the real world," said Albert Osterhaus, head of virology at the Erasmus Medical Center, who designed "The Great Flu" game with colleagues.

The game can only be played online at www.thegreatflu.com and it is free. A World Health Organization spokesman said Monday the agency was not familiar with the game and had not had time to play it.

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Sculptures in motion

A collection of photos of the work of Peter Jansen.

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Via

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My models or my life

Japanese Man Burns Down House Over Gundam Models

A 29-year-old man in Japan has been arrested after burning his house to the ground following a fight with his mother over models from the Gundam anime/manga franchise.

Yoshifumi Takabe, a 29-year-old factory worker from a town near Kobe, Japan, was arrested this weekend after he allegedly burned down the house he and his mother lived in. Takabe doused his room in kerosene and set it on fire in a suicide attempt while distraught after learning that his mother had thrown away his "valuable" models from the iconic Gundam franchise, the suspect reportedly told police.

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Born to be blind

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Return to sender

2 Austrian Kids Rescued From Mailbox

VIENNA -- Austrian authorities aren't about to give these pranks their stamp of approval.

Frustrated officials say rescuers have been deployed twice this week to break open large mailboxes after two children locked themselves inside in separate incidents.

Firefighters in the westernmost province of Vorarlberg say the latest incident occurred Thursday evening in the village of Schwarzach, where an 8-year-old boy climbed inside a mailbox and couldn't get out.

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August 16, 2009

Sportakrobatik

Or what we English speakers would call sport acrobatics. At 9:19, this is a long clip but these acrobats do some amazing things.

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August 14, 2009

And the water in this pool is just right

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K-A-L-A-M-A-Z-O-O, what a cow

A real piperoo!

Udder chaos as pregnant cow bolts to freedom at the Kalamazoo County Fair

KALAMAZOO -- A pregnant cow ran loose at the Kalamazoo County Fair for nearly 45 minutes on Tuesday, knocking over several bystanders and fair officials who attempted to corral it.

One woman was taken to a local hospital as a precautionary measure after being charged by the cow, said Bonna Perrin, the fair's president.

The 5-year-old Holstein escaped while fair workers were exchanging it for another cow that had given birth at the Miracle of Birth tent several hours earlier, said Chris Rohwer, a veterinarian at the Sprinkle Road Veterinarian Office who is in charge of the birthing process at the exhibit.

Title reference.

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Keep in touch with Facebook

Found in TJICistan, where it's admitted that this may be bogus but it's also claimed that this is definitely funny. The evidence supports that assertion.

FacebookMananger.jpg

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He loves his car - literally

At least, I assume it was his. Would it be adultery if it were someone else's car?

Man accused of sex act with car

ALBUQUERQUE (KRQE) - An Albuquerque man faces indecent exposure charges after police say children saw him simulating a sex act with his car in a grocery store parking lot.

Danny Brawner, 46, was indicted on two counts of aggravated indecent exposure and one count of indecent exposure for the July 28 incident in the parking lot of the Smith's Food and Drug store on 101 Coors Blvd. NW, according to a news release from Bernalillo County District Attorney Kari Brandenburg's office.

Witnesses told police they saw Brawner "humping" his car's trunk while swinging his arms in the air and shouting. His pants were around his ankles, witnesses said.

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Water jet pack

Danilo sends a link to this video about the JetLev Flyer.They're estimating that they'll ship these things in September of this year at a price of $129,000.

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She never forgets a tune

Elephant learns to play the harmonica
A music-loving elephant called Five has been serenading its keepers at West Midlands Safari Park, after learning to play the harmonica.

The African elephant already loves music, but has found a new passion after a silver harmonica was accidentally left on the side of the enclosure.

She eventually got the hang of puffing out at the right time to produce a song, and now regularly places the instrument into her trunk and whiles away the afternoon playing a few tunes.

Wendy Jackson, spokeswoman from the park, said the elephants were extremely intelligent and Five was becoming better at playing as time went on.

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August 13, 2009

Hubble Ultra Deep Field

This is one of the most impressive clips about astronomy that I've seen. It explains recent work with the Hubble Ultra Deep Field photographs to create a 3D model from them. 4 minutes well spent.

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See ya later...

Man Rode Bike With Gator Over Shoulders

BOUTTE, La. -- The 3-foot-long alligator on a bicyclist's shoulders was a real attention-getter. St. Charles Parish sheriff's deputies stopped the cyclist. He allegedly ran, leaving both wheels and his toothy little rider.

Capt. Pat Yoes, a spokesman for the sheriff's office, said deputies booked 38-year-old Terron D. Ingram on Friday with resisting arrest, possessing drug paraphernalia, and cruelty to animals by abandonment.

Alligator Control Officer Kenny Schmill said he released the gator into the marsh near Bayou Gauche.

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You call that art?

ABC News has an interesting online quiz: Is it art or not? It mixes modern art with children's work to see if you can tell the difference. I wasn't very successful at it.

TreeInNaples.jpg

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Hard to believe

I wonder if he did the same thing in 2004?

FBI: Man Gave Teller ID Before Robbing Bank
Suspect Convicted In 2004 Bank Robbery

ANCHORAGE, Alaska -- A 34-year-old man is in custody after authorities said he gave a teller his account number and showed her his picture ID before robbing an Anchorage bank. [...]

The FBI alleges Arnold walked into an Alaska USA Federal Credit Union branch Friday and inquired about the balance on his account. The teller asked for his name, account number and ID.

Authorities said he complied, and then handed over a receipt with a note on the back that said he had a gun and demanded money.

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Les Paul, RIP

Here he appears with his wife, Mary Ford. I don't know when this was recorded. He passed away today.

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Food rage

At least Mom shows a little sense.

Police: Sandwich Fight Leads To Gun Struggle

BRIDGEWATER, N.J. -- New Jersey police said a shotgun was brandished after two brothers argued about a sandwich for their mother.

The argument began in Anthony Pilla's Bridgewater house, where the mother lives. Police said Pilla's brother threw his cap and glasses at the 49-year-old old.

According to an affidavit, Pilla went to the basement and returned with a loaded shotgun. Police said the brothers wrestled, Pilla dropped the shotgun and their mother took it out of the house Wednesday.

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August 12, 2009

Living bridges

An interesting photo essay (with video) about bridges in India made from living tree roots.

The living bridges of Cherrapunji, India are made from the roots of the Ficus elastica tree. This tree produces a series of secondary roots from higher up its trunk and can comfortably perch atop huge boulders along the riverbanks, or even in the middle of the rivers themselves.
RootBridges.jpg

Via

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It's been a long time since our last blonde joke

A surgeon went to check on his blonde patient after her operation. She was awake, so he examined her.

"You'll be fine," he told her.

"How long will it be before I'm able to have a normal sex life again, doctor?" she asked.

The surgeon paused for a moment, which alarmed the woman. "What's the matter, Doctor? I will be all right, won't I?"

"Yes, you'll be fine," he replied. "It's just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out."

H.T. Tucson John

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I thought this guy was supposed to be smooth

<obi-wan>That is not the analogy you are looking for.</obi-wan>

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What a night

From Germany:

Drunk bride found trapped in baking BMW after wedding

Cologne police rescued a highly intoxicated 30-year-old bride from her overheated car while sleeping off the wedding party, the authorities reported on Monday.

A witness reported that she'd noticed a woman in a blue BMW during "blazing heat" for several hours in a parking lot. When police arrived they found the woman sleeping in the back seat, still wearing her wedding gown and next to an opened case of vodka bottles and other gifts from her nuptials.

"Far and wide, however, no accompanying groom," a statement said.

The vehicle was locked and the bride did not respond to rapping on the window. Only after officers gained access to the vehicle could they shake her awake.

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A walk around the world

At 5:20+, this is one of the longest commercials I've seen (not counting 'infomercials', of course). It's a very well presented history of Johnnie Walker whiskey: the man who walked around the world.

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Probably not

Chief: Tasing 76-Year-Old Not 'Best Way'

GLENROCK, Wyo. -- Glenrock Police Chief Tom Sweet said two officers "probably didn't do things the best way" when they used a Taser on a 76-year-old man driving an antique tractor in a parade.

Sweet spoke at a packed town hall meeting Monday, nine days after Bud Grose was hit with a Taser during the town's annual Deer Creek Days.

The officers are on paid leave while state Division of Criminal Investigation agents investigate.

Mayor Steve Cielinski and most of the Town Council apologized to residents and asked for patience. Cielinski promised the findings will be made public.

"If we have to stand up and take it on the chin, we will," Cielinski said.

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August 11, 2009

Funny ads

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Cootchy coo

Fla. man pretends to be disabled in bizarre scam

MELBOURNE, Fla. -- A Florida woman was duped into changing diapers and providing care for a man she met through Craigslist who feigned disabilities.

Turns out the man who hired Janet Schulte to look after an adult brother with diminished mental capacity was the same guy she bottle-fed and treated like a child for 3 months.

Schulte says the worst thing is that authorities can't go after the man because he appears not to have committed any crime. Though the man lied, he typically paid the agreed $600 weekly for her services.

If it's not a crime, why are they calling it a scam?

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Truck spills

Truckspills.com: The website of [...] things spilled on the road by trucks.

PotatoSpill.jpg

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Not so blasé now, I'll bet

Yawn leads to jail time for Ill. courtroom spectator

CHICAGO — Clifton Williams arrived at the Will County Courthouse in Joliet, Ill., and sat in the fourth-floor courtroom where his cousin was pleading guilty to a felony drug charge.
As Circuit Judge Daniel Rozak handed down the cousin's sentence — two years' probation — Williams, 33, stretched and let out a very ill-timed yawn.

Williams' sentence? Six months in jail — the maximum penalty for criminal contempt without a jury trial. He man was locked up July 23 and will serve at least 21 days.


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C'mon down!

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The case of the disappearing detergent

Cops: Carmel man broke into neighbor's home to do laundry

CARMEL - Who needs a Laundromat when you can just break into your next-door neighbor's house and use the washing machine?

That's what police say was the habit of 61-year-old George Nylund, who apparently would wait until his Wixon Pond neighbors were gone, then remove a screen to their house and drag his laundry basket in behind him.

It all came out in the wash this week when another neighbor saw Nylund and questioned him, police said.

Nylund was on a stepladder outside the neighbor's home and had removed a screen when he was confronted. He told the witness he was fixing the screen, then quickly put it back, took his stepladder and returned to his nearby mobile home, police said.

But evidence was left behind: Nylund's laundry basket and his clothes, police said.

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August 10, 2009

42

The answer to everything.

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There's more than one clown in this story

Alice Springs is in Australia's Northern Territory.

Stolen inflatable clown found with list of demands

Police in Alice Springs say an inflatable clown recently stolen from the Moscow Circus has been found.

The circus mascot Boris was taken from Blatherskite Park on July 26.

A police spokeswoman says a man walking through the Alice Springs golf course on Saturday morning found the clown still inflated at the barbecue area at the 17th green.

She says a handwritten note found with the clown demanding better working conditions has been seized by police for forensic testing.

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Getting old is tough

OldAgeRelations.jpg

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Inspiration

After the service, an elderly woman presented her minister with several home-baked pies she'd made. He graciously thanked her and took them home with him.

The minister and his family decided to try the pies after Sunday dinner. But they turned out to be possibly the worst examples of cooking they'd ever tasted. Try as they might, they couldn't stomach any of the pies. Finally, they were forced to dump them all in the trash.

After the next week's service, the minister was greeted by the elderly woman. She asked, "Did you enjoy my pies, minister? I made them especially for you."

The minister didn't want to hurt the old woman's feeling, but he didn't want to tell a lie either. What could he do?

Then inspiration hit him and he told her. "Ma'am, as God is my witness, I can truly say that pies like yours never last long around our house."

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Hill climbers wipe out

Video from the Great American Championship Motorcycle Hill Climb in Billings, Montana. One rider actually makes it.

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Jailhouse Fire

Fla. Inmates Make, Sell Own Hot Sauce
'Jailhouse Fire Hot Sauce' Brings In $10,000

TAMPA, Fla. -- A group of Tampa inmates is offering a taste of what it's like jail -- no locks, bars or handcuffs required.

But you'd better have an tough stomach to use more than a dash of their "Jailhouse Fire Hot Sauce."

Minimum-security Hillsborough County Jail inmates offer it in "Original," "Smoke" and "No Escape" varieties, all made from their jail-grown peppers.

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August 08, 2009

Hyper-realistic

Like the Touchable holography video, this one comes from SIGGRAPH (held last week). This one's really impressive: it's a full-motion, 3-D green screen.

A team from INRIA and Grenoble Universities in France will demo a new virtual reality system called Virtualization Gate that tracks users' movements very accurately using multiple cameras, allowing them to interact with virtual objects with new realism.

Via

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August 07, 2009

Meet "the mob"

Dana Loesch has a funny collection of pix of the "mobs" that show up at public meetings to oppose the health care bill.

You’ve heard a lot about this crazy, scary, vicious mob on some shadowy GOP payroll. By the way the DNC, Rachel Maddow, and President Obama talk, you’d think it was a motley crue of Hell’s Angels.

Let me introduce you to the mob:


MeetTheMob.jpg


On a more serious note, St. Louis County police arrested six folks at last night's forum held by Rep. Russ Carnahan.

And Jim Hoft (AKA Gateway Pundit) has an interesting account of what he saw at last night's forum.

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High maintenance mouse

Mouse builds nest egg in ATM with $20 bills

LA GRANDE, Ore. – A mouse found inside an automatic teller machine — along with a nest it had built with chewed-up $20 bills — gave an Oregon gas station employee the surprise of her life. The mouse, discovered Thursday, had thoroughly torn up two bills and damaged another 14 to line his nest. Employee Millie Taylor said she screamed and slammed the machine's door shut.

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Touchable holography

This looks like the start of something pretty cool -- like a holodeck, maybe.

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srsly

You have 1 new PhD in text messaging...

Some of us worry that degrees are getting dumbed down - but now we have a PhD that has been thumbed down.

A postgraduate has been awarded what is thought to be the country's first doctorate in text messaging.

Dr Caroline Tagg spent three-and-a-half years tapping out an 80,000-word thesis about SMS texts and their language.

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My other car...

This is part of an ad campaign available to Cooper dealers.

MyOtherCar.jpg

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Macabre

This might be very practical or it might give you the heebie-jeebies. Or maybe both.

Last Messages Club

The Last Messages Club sends your personal thoughts and essential data by email to your friends and loved ones after you die.

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August 06, 2009

Splash down

A pretty cool clip from Germany. If this for real (which would surprise me), it's one hell of a trick. Find the perpetrators at http://www.mach-es-machbar.de/.

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It could be worse

He could be proposing a program to destroy perfectly good cars. (Check out the 'clunker' in the video at that link.)

But, back to the point - here's some of Scott Ott's satire:

Health plan on ice, Obama pushes grocery reform

News fairly unbalanced. We report. You decipher.

His health care plan at least temporarily stymied in Congress, President Obama announced today that he would mount a 27-city tour to promote his new nutrition reform program, dubbed America's Affordable Grocery Choices Act.

With the cost of grocery items skyrocketing, experts say that about 330 million Americans suffer periodic bouts of hunger. Children and the elderly often go for hours between meals.

"America's grocery system is broken," said President Obama, "and the time for reform is now. We can't kick the can down the road, or play political games any longer."

The White House said the president's plan will increase choices and competition, improve the quality of grocery items, share responsibility for grocery bills and protect consumers against waste, fraud and abuse by offering a "Public Option Grocery Store" within five miles of every American home.

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Urban screen

Another interesting clip from Germany - by Urbanscreen.com. These are 3-D projections on the surface of a building.

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That didn't take long

Newlywed Arrested In Alleged Plot On Husband

BOYNTON BEACH, Fla. -- A Boynton Beach newlywed has been arrested for allegedly hiring an undercover police officer to kill her husband of six months.

Police say 26-year-old Dalia Dippolito gave an informant $1,200 for a handgun and offered $3,000 for the murder of her husband of six months, 38-year-old Michael Dippolito. [...]

Investigators played along on Wednesday. They called the would-be widow at the gym and covered her home in crime scene tape. The suspect immediately broke down in tears when a sergeant told her husband had died.

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Still timely

Here's a "demotivaitonal" poster that was making the rounds about a year ago. (Click for a larger view.)

GovtDemotivation.jpg

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MWI

The old Cub Cadet I used to own would barely get out of its own way. I can't imagine passing anything with it.

Lawnmower driver on beer run charged with DUI; tried to pass cars on his Cub Cadet

Police said a man with a drunken-driving conviction didn't let his revoked license stop him from driving to a local convenience store to replenish his beer supply -- he just climbed behind the wheel of his lawnmower.

But Dennis D. Cretton, 49, of 29 Dianne Drive near Belleville, [Illinois - JdJ] hadn't quite completed the mile-long round trip before his neighbors called police about 9 p.m. Friday. They reported that he was weaving in and out of traffic along Dianne Drive, attempting to pass cars in his 2007 Cub Cadet mower.

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August 05, 2009

Clever bike

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I'm not sure I'd call it luck

STL cyclist recovers from lightning strike

BOULDER, Colo. — A 44-year-old bicyclist from St. Louis struck by lightning in north-central Colorado while training for a triathlon is out of the hospital after temporarily losing her sight and motion in her arms.

Terri Menghini said she had finished 78 miles of a 100-mile bike ride Monday in Boulder when she saw a dark cloud overhead and lightning in the distance.

Menghini said she was on the crest of the hill when lightning struck within 100 feet of her.

"There was one lightning bolt and within a minute, the second one got me," she said. [...]

"I was just lucky. So I'm going to go buy a Powerball ticket now," Menghini said.

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Field engineering

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It's creepin' me out

What's with all the feet? If they're not being washed ashore in Washington state, they're showing up in New York state.

Human Foot Found In NY Recycling Plant

SENECA, N.Y. -- Officials in western New York are trying to figure out how a bare human foot got mixed in with recyclable trash on a conveyor belt at a landfill.

Sheriff Phil Povero said a worker at the Ontario County landfill's recycling plant spotted the severed right foot Monday night.

Povero says authorities believe the foot is an adult's, but aren't sure whether it belonged to a man or woman.

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Fishmen

The YouTube notes say:

A musical version of 'The Shadow Over Innsmouth' by H.P Lovecraft. Set to a song composed by the HPLHS (http://www.cthulhulives.org).

If you don't get whats going on and want to read the original story, its a good read and online at:http://en.wikisource.org/wiki/The_Shadow_Over_Innsmouth

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Get a grip

A little follow-up to last weeks' post about Tourists Gone Wild.

W**k tells F**king to get a grip

The people of F**king have grown tired of English-speaking tourists acting out their village's name (and also, no doubt, of amused British journalists writing stories about it.)

But now residents of the German town of W**k have told them grasp the opportunity.

Juergen Stoll, who runs the W**k guest house, said: 'The people in F**king should cash in on their fame.

'I have so many visitors here at the W**k guest house that we have the mattresses all in a line in one big room for people to sleep on. Otherwise we couldn't fit everybody in.

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August 04, 2009

Pwned! (4)

Some Nederlander does a nice job on Bill O'Reilly & guests for their characterizations of Amsterdam as a crime-ridden place.

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Hai!

Tourist foils mugger with taekwondo

Police in Rome say an attempted mugger thanked officers for rescuing him from his alleged victims -- a group of South Korean tourists skilled in taekwondo.

Authorities said the 48-year-old Italian man, whose name was not released, grabbed a handbag from one of the tourists Sunday at the ancient Roman Theater of Marcellus and brandished a knife, the Italian news agency ANSA reported Monday.

However, one South Korean disarmed the attacker using taekwondo techniques and used the martial art to keep the suspect from escaping until police arrived.

"Thank you, I was being massacred," police quoted the attacker as saying during his arrest.

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Lightning

The Big Picture has 26 pictures of lightning. This one was taken at Lake Lecco, Italy.

BigPictureLightning.jpg

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Dumb and...

What's dumber - letting your 7-year-old drive your SUV? Or putting the video on YouTube?

Family video of child driving prompts probe

TORONTO (Reuters) – A YouTube video showing a 7-year-old boy at the wheel of a sport utility vehicle -- with his family cheering him on -- has prompted an investigation by Quebec police and family services, police said on Tuesday.

The video, apparently shot by the boy's father from the SUV's passenger seat as the boy drives and his mom and siblings watch from the back seat, was brought to the attention of Quebec Provincial Police on Monday, Sergeant Chantal Mackels said.

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What a hot dog

This kid's really good on her blades.

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This guy should have known something was up

A sticky end: Scorned women exact painful revenge on cheating husband with superglue

Three women exacted a painful revenge on a cheating husband they discovered had been sleeping with them all at the same time - by superglueing his private parts.

The angry women lured married father Donessa Davis to a motel where they decided to humiliate him.

The ambush was set up by the man's wife after she discovered he had been cheating on her with as many as five women. [...]

Mr Davis is recovering after needing hospital treatment for his embarrassing injury when his manhood was glued to his stomach.

Reminds me of the blues tune:
"If you got you one woman, you sure God gotta get five
Cause two might quit you, the other three might die."

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August 03, 2009

Reinforced masonry

Follow the link to see a BBC video of this building topple and roll onto its roof. Paul says, "The strength of the building is impressive." Boy, I'll say.

Turkey demolition goes wrong

A plan to demolish a building in Cankiri, central Turkey went badly wrong when the 25-metre high structure rolled over onto its roof.

Update: Video found on YouTube

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Recession Ride

Vt. Taxi Service Lets Patrons Decide Fares

ESSEX, Vt. -- When Eric Hagen started Recession Ride Taxi in Essex, Vt., he took more questions than fares.

Everyone wanted to know if the sign reading "Pay What You Want!" on the back of his taxi was for real. It is, and Hagen said he hasn't been shortchanged yet.

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Ride the Shweeb

At the Agroventures Park near Rotorua, NZ.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:54 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Dude - where's my career?

College Grad Can't Find Job, Wants $$$ Back

She went to college to boost her chances of finding a great job once she got out of school, but now that that hasn't happened, Trina Thompson wants her money back.

Thompson, a graduate of Monroe College, is suing her school for the $70,000 she spent on tuition because she hasn't found solid employment since receiving her bachelor's degree in April, according to a published report.

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Great movie moments with Obama

Rob & Mary (separately) sent spoofs of well-known movies, like the one below. There are 6 of them here.

NationalizeBanks.jpg

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Like BBs in a boxcar

Fla. High-Rise Has 32 Stories, Just 1 Tenant

FORT MYERS, Florida -- The Vangelakos' southwest Florida condominium has marble floors, a large pool overlooking a river and modern furnishings that speak of affluence and luxury. What they don't have in the 32-story building is a single neighbor. [...]

Most of the other tenants in the 200-unit condo didn't close on their contracts, and the few that did have transferred to an adjacent building owned by the same company because more people live there.

The Vangelakos' mortgage lender will not allow them to do the same.

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