October 31, 2009
October 30, 2009
Size and scale
Here's a pretty cool interactive Flash app, illustrating scale from millimeters to picometers.
A little hokey but pretty well done overall.
Gruesome and delicious
Check out Not Martha's Meat Hand recipe.
January - December romance
Somali man, 112, marries 17-year-old girl
A crowd of hundreds attended the wedding between Ahmed Muhamed Dore and Safia Abdulleh in Guriceel, in the Galguduud region of Somalia. Mr Dore said: "Today God helped me realise my dream."
Mr Dore and his teenage bride are from the same village, and he said that he had waited for her to grow up before proposing. [...]
He already has 18 children by his other five wives.
Dish up the dough
Man tried to rob bank with spoon
Baffled bank staff refused to fork out cash when a robber threatened them - with a spoon.
The ginger-haired crook burst into the branch in Lublin, Poland, brandishing the cutlery shouting: "This is a stick up."
Staff and customers threw themselves to the ground until they realised the 'gun' was simply a stainless steel spoon.
The would-be robber fled empty-handed with the laughter of his 'victims' ringing in his ears.
October 29, 2009
What a backflip
A rude awakening
Couple alive after car pins them to bed for almost an hour
(CNN) -- With motor fluid spraying their faces and the weight of a car numbing their bodies, two Nevada college students struggled to stay calm after a drunk driver allegedly tore into their home, ripping them from their slumber.
Kristin Palmer and Trent Wood were asleep in their home last week when a motorist allegedly drove into their bedroom around 4 a.m., mistakenly believing it was his ex-girlfriend's home.
The University of Nevada students spent almost an hour pinned between the car and their bed while emergency workers battled furiously to free them.
Somehow, the two left the scene with relatively minor scrapes and burns -- and a new lease on life, Wood said.
More Halloweeny dogs
11 more after the break...
He just does what the voices tell him to
Police: Man Says God Told Him To Steal Car
LEXINGTON, Ky. -- Police said a man who smashed a window at a car dealership claimed he was following a higher calling.
Police said a 36-year-old man was collared by a security guard at Freedom Dodge in Lexington, Ky., before he could get inside the showroom. WLEX-TV reported the man told the guard that God wanted him to steal a Dodge Charger.
A chat with a cat
A short chase
One-legged suspect caught with one stolen shoe
BRUSSELS -- Police said a one-legged suspect was caught after only one shoe went missing in a store in Belgium. An amputee was an immediate suspect when a store attendant found one shoe missing from a shop in the western Belgian town of Maldegem. Police spokesman Rik Decraemer said Monday authorities were alerted and quickly found the man who fit the description by shopkeepers. The shoe was also recovered.
October 28, 2009
Markets in everything
At least it's cheap
Worst disguise ever? Burglars cover faces with permanent marker
If you're going to commit a burglary, it's a good idea to have a disguise. However, you should probably do better than this pair of would-be burglars, whose disguise attempts extended to just drawing on their faces with a black marker pen.
Matthew Allan McNelly, 23, and Joey Lee Miller, 20 were arrested last Friday night after they tried to break into an apartment in Carroll, Iowa.
A witness called police to alert them to the attempted break in, and said that the suspects then drove off in a white car. Police tracked the car down a few blocks away, and - having been told that the suspects appeared to be wearing holsters - arrested them at gun point, the Daily Times Herald newspaper reported.
As it turned out, the duo didn't have either guns or holsters on them. They did, however, have permanent marker scribbled all over their faces, which made them rather easy to identify.
Best Halloween costume of the year?
Hot Mormon muffins
I have to admit this leaves me speechless.
2010 Hot Mormon Muffins: A Taste of Motherhood Calendar
From the creators of the popular Men on a Mission calendar comes this hot addition fresh from the oven: Hot Mormon Muffins: A Taste of Motherhood. Not only are they delicious, the debut 2010 edition features twelve beautiful Mormon mothers posing in kitschy vintage pin-up style.
Seems more clinical than scary to me, but it's an interesting trick.
Schwarzenegger Flips Off Lawmakers in Hidden Message
California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger is ticked off.
He’s tired of signing bills that don’t address the pet causes he deems important. So when another unworthy bill crossed his desk recently for signing — addressing funding issues for the Port of San Francisco — the guv vetoed it and sent lawmakers a little note saying why. Only the note said a little more than lawmakers were expecting.
October 27, 2009
George Carlin on germs
It's a hilarious rant - and definitely not safe for work. But you know George.
Just walking the dog
Dog leads husband to unfaithful wife
The Sicilian mother of two, 35, had told her husband she was taking their Yorkshire terrier for a walk.
But later her 40-year-old husband, out with their children, heard barking and saw the dog tied up outside a bar in Caltanissetta.
He looked in the bar for his wife and caught her in a passionate clinch with the owner. Police said the couple are divorcing.
More reasons why dogs hate Halloween
Seventeen of them in fact: here
NTSB: NWA Pilots Were On Laptops
WASHINGTON -- Two Northwest Airlines pilots have told federal investigators that they were going over schedules using their laptop computers in violation of company policy while their plane overflew their Minneapolis destination by 150 miles, the National Transportation Safety Board said Monday.
The pilots -- Richard Cole of Salem, Ore., the first officer, and Timothy Cheney of Gig Harbor, Wash., the captain -- said in interviews conducted over the weekend that they were not fatigued and didn't fall asleep, the board said in a statement.
Instead, Cole and Cheney told investigators that they both had their laptops out while the first officer, who had more experience with scheduling, instructed the captain on monthly flight crew scheduling. The pilots were out of communication with air traffic controllers and their airline for more than an hour and didn't realize their mistake until contacted by a flight attendant, the board said.
News flash! (3)
Or maybe it just seems like 25,000
Karaoke bar marks 25,000th 'My Way'
TOKYO, Oct. 22 (UPI) -- The owner of a Tokyo karaoke bar says he has heard people sing Frank Sinatra's "My Way" their way 25,000 times at his bar, and nearly all were awful.
Hide Saito, owner of Smash Hits karaoke bar, said the tune is such a popular choice among the tone deaf it was regularly heard about eight times a night when he first opened the business 25 years ago, The Times of London reported Thursday.
Saito said he has since instituted a rule limiting the same song to five renditions per night, but that has not stemmed the tide of Sinatra wannabes.
October 26, 2009
That would be a nasty shock
Shopkeeper to electrocute drunken revellers who wee
A peeved trader plans to give drunken revellers the shock of their lives if they continue urinating against his shop front.
Businessman John O'Connor said he could no longer put up with his premises being used as an outdoor toilet by a steady stream of late-night partygoers.
The 46-year-old is taking a slash and burn approach to the anti-social behaviour by wiring up an electric current on the pavement outside his music shop in Co Clare, in the Irish Republic.
Not his better half
Another mug shot from The Smoking Gun.
Yahoo lap dancers make wrong moves
Yahoo has apologized for its use of scantily clad lap dancers to entertain mainly male software developers and engineers in Taiwan last weekend. The Internet search company Monday acknowledged its politically incorrect step.
"I wanted to acknowledge the public reaction generated by the images of female dancers at our Taiwan Open Hack Day this past weekend," said Chris Yeh of Yahoo's Development Network on the company's blog.
Don't stop 'til you get enough
I'm no Michael Jackson fan but somebody did a great job on this clip.
So long GeoCities
No lap dancers for the GeoCities guys.
Blog Predecessor GeoCities Closes Down
Now, 14 years after it was founded and 10 years after a purchase by Yahoo, the service has been shut down.
The former Web site for GeoCities advertises Yahoo's other Web-hosting services, a decade after it was bought for more than $3.5 billion in stock, according to the Wikipedia entry on the service. [...]
The Wikipedia entry says that in 1997, Geocities was the fifth most popular site on the Internet.
Randall Munroe is marking this event appropriately at xkcd.
October 25, 2009
The Snuggie Sutra
October 23, 2009
Symphony of science
I don't like most of the auto-tune clips I've seen but this one struck my fancy. For one thing, it has Richard Feynman playing drums.
Looking for a little peace and quiet
Sicilian prefers prison to house arrest with wife
PALERMO, Sicily (Reuters) – A Sicilian builder transferred from prison to house arrest tried to get himself locked up again to escape arguments with his wife at home, Italian media reported Thursday.
Santo Gambino, 30, did time for dumping hazardous waste before being moved to house arrest in Villabate, outside the Sicilian capital, Palermo, Italian news agencies reported.
Gambino went to the police station and asked to be put away again to avoid arguing with his wife, who accused him of failing to pay for the upkeep of their two children.
All it needs is some fine Corinthian leather
Only in Texas
A lawyer runs a stop sign in Texas and gets pulled over by a sheriff's deputy. He thinks that he's smarter than the deputy because he's a lawyer from New York and he knows he has a better education then any cop from Houston. So he decides to prove this and have some fun at the deputy's expense.
The deputy says, 'License and registration, please.'
'What for?' asks the lawyer.
The deputy says, 'You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign.'
'I slowed down and no one was coming.'
'You still didn't come to a complete stop,' says the deputy. 'License and registration, please.'
The lawyer says, 'What's the difference?'
'The difference is you have to come to complete stop because that's the law. License and registration, please!'
'If you can show me the legal difference between slowing down and stopping, I'll give you my license and registration and you give me the ticket,' says the lawyer. 'If not, you let me go and don't give me the ticket.'
'That sounds fair. Please exit your vehicle, sir,'says the deputy.
After the lawyer gets out, the deputy takes out his nightstick and starts beating him. Then he asks, 'Now. Do you want me to stop - or just slow down?'
More wackiness from Japan
I'm thinking that Monty Python might look like this to people who don't understand English.
Not the pink thong!
Pink thong fetish flasher jailed
A serial flasher with a fetish for pink thongs has been jailed for 22 months after pleading guilty to breach of the peace at various locations in Glasgow.
John Shovelin, 30, targeted shoppers, clubbers and restaurant-goers in the city centre between February and June. [...]
The court heard how Shovelin was captured on CCTV exposing his underwear and buttocks to a group of women outside Princes Square in the early hours of 11 February.
October 21, 2009
Get your fair share of abuse
Paul sent a link to this with the comment, "The world is nuts." The dialog is certainly a blue streak -- definitely not safe for work.
Hot and wet
Women fighting fires in see-through uniforms
A WET T-shirt controversy has broken out among female firefighters who have complained their new Rural Fire Service shirts become see-through when wet.
More than 600 volunteers joined a Facebook petition to object to the issuing of the bright yellow shirts to replace existing navy blue ones.
Women complained that when they sweat, handle leaking hoses, wash or fill their trucks and even when it rains, their male colleagues can see through their new shirts, The Daily Telegraph reports.
His Little Eye
Danilo sends a link to Willard Wigan's site where his micro-miniature artwork is featured.
Out of bullets
An old Russian joke retold by P.J. O'Rourke
An old guy's wife tells him to go to the butcher shop and get some meat. He goes to the butcher shop and stands in line for hours. Finally the butcher says, "We're out of meat."
The old guy blows his top. He yells, "I am a worker! I am a proletarian! I am a veteran of the Great Patriotic War! I have fought for socialism all my life and now you tell me you're out of meat! What kind of a system is this?! You are fools! You are thieves! ..."
A big man in a trench coat comes up to the old guy and says, "Comrade, Comrade, not so loud... In the old days you know what they would do if you said such things." The big man in the trench coat makes a pistol motion with his hand. He says to the old guy, "Calm down and go home."
The old guy shrugs and leaves. He comes back empty-handed and his wife asks, "What's the matter, are they out of meat?"
"Worse than that," says the old guy, "they're out of bullets."
RFT article here.
Pay attention to details
Counterfeiting charges for man printing $50s in lap-dance scheme
CHEYENNE -- A local man has been charged in federal court with counterfeiting money, allegedly to pay an exotic dancer for a private session at a motel. [...]
The dancers told Cheyenne police that they took a taxi to Kempter's residence, where they picked him up and drove around town for about 30 minutes, court documents show.
The taxi driver told investigators that they dropped off one of the dancers and proceeded to the motel, where Kempter asked him to hold a roll of $50 bills.
"(The driver) noticed that the money was 'funny looking' and that several of the $50 Federal Reserve notes were not cut evenly," court documents show. "(The driver) further noticed that several of the $50 Federal Reserve notes had the same serial numbers."
October 20, 2009
Bring it on
More hijinks from Tom Mabe.
Killer iPhone app
Ex-TV Executive Creates Way to Kill People for $1
Unemployment has not been easy for Paul Sherno. Since losing his job at WJLA-TV, the veteran TV executive has applied–with 60 other people–for a warehouse job (didn't get it), considered selling insurance (money was crap), and attempted to enlist in the Army (too old). [...]
It's enough to make a guy want to mete out some justice.
"'Shoot a banker' ran through my mind," Sherno says. "I'm not an inherently violent kind of guy, but a lot of people were angry."
Also, he had an iPhone.
So Assassin FPS, the first iPhone application from Sherno's one-man company which he runs out of his Silver Spring home, Differentium LLC, was sort of inevitable. The first-person shooter game uses the iPhone's built-in camera, but instead of shooting at computer-generated enemies, the target in Assassin FPS is whatever's in front of you. Once you've selected from weapons like an AK-47, a bazooka, a laser blaster, or even Nerf darts, the weapon and its crosshair appear over the objects—or people—in your viewfinder, and you can commence blowing them into the next realm.
World Animal Day 2009
The Big Picture has a collection of 41 pix for World Animal Day this year. Here's a baby gibbon.
What's in a name? (3)
Woman seeking divorce after finding husband listed her as Guantanamo on mobile phone
A WOMEN is seeking a divorce after she found out that her husband had nicknamed her "Guantanamo" on his mobile phone.
The woman made the discovery while examining the list of contacts in her husband's phone when he left it at home one day when he went out.
The woman was deeply offended by her husband's comparison between life with his wife and life within the Guantanamo Bay terrorist detention centre at the US naval base in Cuba.
His wife has since decided to end their 17-year marriage and is seeking a divorce, the Al-Watan newspaper in Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, reports.
Easy social networking
Matchstick oil rig took 15 years to build
When David Reynolds decided to build a scale model from more than 4million matchsticks there was only one thing on his mind.
Forget the Taj Mahal or Empire State Building. He chose the Brent Bravo North Sea oil rig.
John Major was still prime minister when Mr Reynolds began in 1994 and he has spent 32,000 hours creating what is now officially the world's biggest matchstick model.
Apart from costing him £5,000 in wood and glue, it has left things a bit strained in the Reynolds household.
The model weighs a tonne, is 3.6m (12ft) tall and 6.4m (21ft) long and at one stage had to be split into 14 sections.
October 19, 2009
This is definitely a parody
How did they get him so life-like?
Neighbors thought dead man's body was part of Halloween display
The body of 75-year-old man sat decomposing on his Marina del Rey balcony for days because neighbors thought the lifeless figure was part of a Halloween display and didn't call police.
Mostafa Mahmoud Zayed had apparently been dead since Monday with a single gunshot wound to one eye. He was slumped over a chair on the third-floor balcony of his apartment on Bora Bora Way, said cameraman Austin Raishbrook, who owns RMG News and was on the scene Thursday when authorities were alerted to the body.
This Continue Time clock by Sander Mulder is one of 41 produced. It has a "hand" with 3 segments. The largest indicates hours; the middle segment indicates minutes past the hour and the final, pointy segment indicates seconds in the minute.
Here's (a somewhat noisy) video of it in operation
Not cut out for the call center
'I'll blow your house up': BT customer claims he received death threats after row with call centre worker in India
He is not the first person to have fallen out with a call centre operator.
But when Allan Wardle rang BT after his internet connection crashed, what happened next left him shocked and frightened.
A technician called him back but instead of the problem being resolved a row broke out and, Mr Wardle claims, the technician threatened to blow up his house.
'I couldn't believe what I was hearing,' said Mr Wardle, 24. 'I was incensed.'
'I was scared at first and then really angry. I called the police straight away.'
I think this is a parody of something...
Nanny says No
Truckers furious after driver fined for smoking in cab
Truckers from across Canada were fuming Wednesday night as word spread that police hit a driver with a $305 fine for smoking in his rig, because it's considered a workplace.
Essex County OPP stopped the tractor-trailer on Wednesday around noon after noticing the lone driver headed down Highway 401 in Lakeshore with a cigarette between his lips. The officer ticketed the 48-year-old London driver for smoking in an enclosed workplace.
Even some non-smoking drivers said the government should butt out of their business.
October 16, 2009
This is a little long at 10 minutes but it's pretty interesting. It's quite a story, if true.
Danilo sends a link to this story. A video of the event is up at YouTube.
Baby hit by train and survives
Witnesses at a suburban Melbourne station feared the worst but were stunned when the six-month-boy was hauled from the tracks with little more than a bump on his head.
The near-miss happened at Ashburton station as a city-bound train pulled into the station just after 4pm yesterday.
The baby was strapped into a three-wheeler pram that rolled forward and toppled on to the tracks. [...]
Witnesses watched in horror, fearing the baby had no hope.
But he was safely back in his mother's arms when ambulance officers arrived minutes later.
This is an interesting prototype because of the iPhone interface. (The rest of it appears to be off-the-shelf technology.)
A marital decision
A man wakes up in hospital, bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a pile-up on the motorway. You're going to be OK - you'll walk again and everything. But something happened. I'm trying to break this gently but your bits were chopped off in the wreck and we were unable to find them."
Now the bloke groans a bit but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 compensation coming to you and we have the technology now to build you a new one that will work as well as your old one did - better in fact. But the thing is, it doesn't come cheap. It's a thousand dollars an inch."
The bloke perks up at this.
"So the thing is,"' the doctor continues, "it's for you to decide how many inches you want. It's something you'd better discuss with your wife. I mean, if you had a five inch one before and you decide to go for a nine-incher she might be a bit put out. But if you had a nine inch one before and decide only to invest in a five-incher this time she might be disappointed. So it's important that she plays a role in helping you make the decision."
The bloke agrees to talk with his wife and the doctor comes back the next day.
"So," says the doctor. "Have you spoken with your wife?"
"'I have," the fellow says.
"And has she helped you in making the decision?"
"And what is it?" asks the doctor.
"We're having a new kitchen."
Desktop black hole?
Not exactly. What these guys have made is a type of black body. But 'black hole' definitely makes a catchier headline.
Scientists Make Desktop Black Hole
Two Chinese scientists have successfully made an artificial black hole. Since you're still reading this, it's safe to say that Earth hasn't been sucked into its vortex.
That's because a black hole doesn't technically require a massive, highly concentrated gravitational field that prevents light from escaping, as postulated by Albert Einstein. It just needs to capture light — or, to be more precise, electromagnetic radiation, of which visually perceived light is one form.
October 15, 2009
What a splash
The audio's pretty hot on this one, so mind the volume.
A stimulus of her own
Lottery Hoax Causes Riot At Ohio Coat Store
COLUMBUS, Ohio -- A woman being driven around in a rented limousine pulled up at a coat store and announced she'd won the lottery and would pay for everyone's purchases, police said, but she ended up causing a riot when customers realized it was a hoax. [...]
Linda Brown was arrested Tuesday after an hours-long shopping spree that began when she hired a stretch Hummer limousine to drop her off at a Burlington Coat Factory store, police Sgt. Lt. Michael Deakins said. Brown walked to a cash register and loudly announced she had won the lottery and would pay for each person's merchandise up to $500, he said.
"Well, of course, people like to hear that," Deakins said. "Apparently they were in line calling relatives who were not at the store and told them to come."
People flooded the registers as cashiers began ringing up purchase after purchase, but Brown had not yet paid the bill, Deakins said. At least 500 people filled the aisles and another 1,000 were outside trying to get in, he said.
More pet costumes
A slide show of costumed pets at Washingtonian.com.
The meaning of chutzpah
So it turns out that Arab sheikhs understand the meaning of "chutzpah"
Jad Mouawad and Andrew Revkin report in the New York Times on just the most darling Saudi proposal for how to help solve the global warming problem:
Saudi Arabia is trying to enlist other oil-producing countries to support a provocative idea: if wealthy countries reduce their oil consumption to combat global warming, they should pay compensation to oil producers....
Nice changing room
The Color Test
If you can ace this test on the first try, you're unusually good at following directions.
October 14, 2009
What a rhythm section
I especially liked how they miked the exhaust pipe on the tractor.
Not only does Nature abhor a vacuum
It may not be very fond of Higgs bosons either.
The Collider, the Particle and a Theory About Fate
More than a year after an explosion of sparks, soot and frigid helium shut it down, the world's biggest and most expensive physics experiment, known as the Large Hadron Collider, is poised to start up again. In December, if all goes well, protons will start smashing together in an underground racetrack outside Geneva in a search for forces and particles that reigned during the first trillionth of a second of the Big Bang.
Then it will be time to test one of the most bizarre and revolutionary theories in science. I'm not talking about extra dimensions of space-time, dark matter or even black holes that eat the Earth. No, I'm talking about the notion that the troubled collider is being sabotaged by its own future. A pair of otherwise distinguished physicists have suggested that the hypothesized Higgs boson, which physicists hope to produce with the collider, might be so abhorrent to nature that its creation would ripple backward through time and stop the collider before it could make one, like a time traveler who goes back in time to kill his grandfather.
My view is that these physicists are indulging in a little theology; if it ain't falsifiable, it ain't science.
Why men don't live as long as women
20 images in a pictorial essay.
A new winner in the Expensive Real Estate contest
Hong Kong Apartment Sells For $57 Million
HONG KONG -- It's a price tag that would make even New Yorkers and Londoners gasp -- an outsized luxury apartment sold for nearly $57 million in Hong Kong Wednesday amid growing fears of a real estate bubble.
The five-bedroom duplex suite with as much as 6,158 square feet was sold to an unidentified buyer from mainland China, said the developer, Henderson Land Development, a major Hong Kong property company. It is believed to be Asia's most expensive property by square foot at nearly $9,200.
I'm pretty amused by the writer's name, particularly under this headline.
Slaw and Order: Hot-Dog Stand in Chicago Triggers a Frank Debate
'Felony Franks' Is Staffed by Ex-Cons, but Some Neighbors Don't Relish the Name
By JULIE JARGON
CHICAGO -- When James Andrews opened a hot-dog stand on this city's rough West Side, he thought he was doing a community service by hiring ex-convicts. But some in the neighborhood think the name he chose -- Felony Franks -- is a crime.
An alderman has refused Mr. Andrews permission to hang a new sign or build a drive-through lane. A pastor accused the restaurant owner, who is not an ex-convict, of "pimping out" the community. Members of a neighborhood association have vowed to stay away from Felony Franks until the name is changed and the décor -- including paintings of cartoon hot dogs in prison stripes -- is removed.
October 13, 2009
World's deepest bin
Here's another video along the lines of yesterday's post about the piano stairs.
Nearly a ton of pumpkin
For some reason this reminds me of the One Ton Tomato parody of Guantanamera.
Pumpkin Squashes Competition In Weigh-Off
HALF MOON BAY, Calif. -- A giant pumpkin from Iowa is the prize of the patch after squashing the competition in a heavyweight championship on California's coast.
The gigantic gourd tipped the scales at 1,658 pounds to win the 36th annual World Championship Pumpkin Weigh-Off in Half Moon Bay on Monday. [...]
At $6 a pound, Des Moines grower Don Young will take home a $9,948 prize. He says he didn't expect to win and is very happy.
Better than crop circles
Nearly 20 images of Japanese rice field art.
It happes to lots of people
Part of an exchange at Emails From Crazy People:
From: Alan A
Sent: Wednesday, August 26, 2009 1:25 PM
To: Jerry R
Subject: B&B Invoice
Where are you using part# TE102 – Large Multi-Purpose Hatch?
I have an invoice that came back.
From: Jerry R
Sent: Wednesday, August 26, 2009 2:00 PM
To: Alan A
Subject: RE: B&B Invoice
Street art in San Diego
It was part of their Columbus Day celebration.
October 12, 2009
Marge Simpson makes cover of Playboy
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - "D'oh!" doesn't even start to cover it.
Marge Simpson -- the blue beehived matriarch of America's most loved dysfunctional family - is Playboy magazine's November cover, the magazine said on Friday.
Simpson, tastefully concealing her assets behind a signature Playboy Bunny chair, is the first cartoon character ever to front the glossy adult magazine, joining the ranks of sex symbols like Marilyn Monroe and Cindy Crawford. [...]
Playboy also promises a story inside called "The Devil in Marge Simpson". The issue arrives on newsstands on October 16.
Willow can read
Maggie can count
Both via ohmidog!
An elderly couple was celebrating their 60th anniversary. They'd been childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after retiring.
Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It wasn't locked, so they entered and found the old desk where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally."
On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up and they took it home. There she counted the money - fifty thousand dollars!
Andy said, "We've got to give it back."
Sally said, "Finders keepers." So she put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic.
The next day, two Treasury agents were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money and knocked on the door.
"Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?"
Sally said, "No."
Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic."
Sally said, "Don't believe him; he's getting senile."
The agents turn to Andy and begin to question him. One says, "Tell us the story from the beginning."
Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday..."
The first agent turns to his partner and says, "OK,we're outta here."
What a dad
Man misses birth of his child after fondling nurse, police say
Adam Jay Manning was arrested after he allegedly fondled a nurse who was helping in the delivery of his child at McKay-Dee Hospital in Ogden.
Police arrested a Bountiful man early Friday for allegedly groping a nurse who was helping a woman who was in labor with his baby at an Ogden hospital.
Adam Jay Manning, 30, brought a pregnant woman in labor to McKay-Dee Hospital around 3 a.m. Friday, said Ogden police Lt. Loring Draper. When a nurse came to assist the couple, Manning looked the nurse "up and down" and made an observation about her appearance, Draper said.
"He makes a comment about how cute she looks," Draper said.
October 10, 2009
Who wants a wet willy?
Nice work if you can get it (3)
I don't know if this story is true but it would certainly be funny if it is. What a scam! From StrangeCosmos.com:
STRANGE ZOO PARKING ATTENDANT MAKES OFF WITH MILLIONS!
From The London Times:
A Well-Planned Retirement
Outside England 's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses. For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were £1 for cars ($1..40), £5 for busses (about $7).
Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent.
The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo's own responsibility.
The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee.
The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.
Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain (or some such scenario), is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own; and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day -- for 25 years.
Assuming 7 days a week, this amounts to just over $7 million dollars!
And no one even knows his name!
Take it, Benny...
Daddy's little girl
Hey, you kids! Off the grass!
School Children Banned From Kensington Public Parks
KENSINGTON, Md. - Public parks are usually the places where children go to have fun. But the town of Kensington just passed a new rule that bans kids over five years old from playgrounds during the daytime.
"It's like a sad children's story," said Joe McPherson, headmaster of the Brookewood School.
But it's no fable. The girls at Kensington's Brookewood School are banned from using a public park right across the street for recess. [...]
The town council unanimously passed a resolution this week saying only caretakers with children five years old and younger can be in Reinhardt Park from 9 a.m. until 4 p.m. Monday through Friday.[...]
The town manager says students using the park for recess created maintenance issues and damage. The town council asked the school to pay $4,000 a year to help with upkeep but never heard back.
Check your assumptions (2)
A new monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to help the other monks as they make copies of the old texts by hand. He notices, however, that they are copying copies, not copying the original books. So the new monk goes to the head monk to ask him about this. He points out that if there were an error in the first copy, the error would be continued in all of the other copies.
The head monk says, "We have been copying from the copies for centuries. But you make a good point, my son." So the head of the monastery goes down into the cellar with one of the copies to check it against the original.
Quite a while passes with no sign of him. One of the monks goes downstairs to look for him. He hears a sobbing coming from the back of the cellar and he finds the old monk leaning over one of the original books and crying.
He asks the older monk what's wrong.
"The word is 'celebrate'," says the old monk.
October 08, 2009
Projector show on English mansion
This is a little long but it's worth the while.
Hire the pros
I don't get this -- prostitution and brothel-keeping are both legal in New Zealand. Maybe the NZOC ought to finance his next Olympic bid if they want to be picky about how it's done.
Threat to sue athlete for fund-raising brothel
WELLINGTON (Reuters) – The New Zealand Olympic Committee has threatened to sue a local taekwondo athlete who plans to finance his 2012 London Games bid with the proceeds from a brothel.
Logan Campbell, whose participation in the Beijing Olympics last year cost him NZ$150,000 ($110,600) -- most of which came from his parents -- opened a brothel with a friend in Auckland earlier this year.
An interesting experimental device from Honda. More info here.
Yo ho ho (2)
Somali Pirates Mistake French Military Vessel for Commercial Ship
PARIS - Somali pirates in two skiffs fired on a French navy vessel early Wednesday after apparently mistaking it for a commercial boat, the French military said. The French ship gave chase and captured five suspected pirates.
No one was wounded by the volleys from the Kalashnikov rifles directed at La Somme, a 3,800-ton refueling ship, said Rear Admiral Christophe Prazuck, a military spokesman.
I was taken by this image of the California countryside near San Jose.
Via Maggie's Farm
10-Year-Old Gets $260 Ticket At School
EL PASO, Texas -- A 10-year-old student was given a $260 ticket for disrupting class at his school, KFOX-TV in El Paso reported.
For the boy's mother, the incident all started with a phone call at around 9 a.m. one day. [...]
She said her son was on medication for a behavioral disorder and couldn't stay awake in class at Travis Elementary School.
"So he fell asleep again, and when they tried to wake him, he got angry," Walka said.
She said her son then left the classroom after a teacher tried to restrain him. She said her son also made noise in the hall. He lay down on the floor and wouldn't get up. For disrupting class, officers at El Paso Independent School District gave her 10-year-old son a ticket for $260, a class C misdemeanor.
October 07, 2009
The speeding ticket
Ala. woman lets daughter ride in box on top of van
ALBERTVILLE, Ala. – An Alabama woman has been charged with endangering the welfare of a child after police say she let her daughter ride in a cardboard box on top of their van. Albertville Police spokesman Sgt. Jamie Smith said the 37-year-old woman was arrested Sunday after police received a call about a minivan on a state highway with a child riding on top.
Smith said the woman told police the box was too big to go inside the van, and that her daughter was inside the box to hold it down.
Smith said the mother told officers it was safe because she had the box secured to the van with a clothes hanger.
The Big One
Saturn's Infrared Ring
This artist's conception shows a nearly invisible ring around Saturn -- the largest of the giant planet's many rings. It was discovered by NASA's Spitzer Space Telescope.
The artist's conception simulates an infrared view of the giant ring. Saturn appears as just a small dot from outside the band of ice and dust. The bulk of the ring material starts about six million kilometers (3.7 million miles) away from the planet and extends outward roughly another 12 million kilometers (7.4 million miles). The ring's diameter is equivalent to roughly 300 Saturns lined up side to side.
Cops: Mass. man shoots neighbor in leaf-dump fight
BOSTON – A man pleaded not guilty to armed assault with intent to murder after police said he shot his neighbor over a leaf-dumping dispute. Christopher Leonard was released Monday on $20,000 bail following his arraignment in Quincy District Court. Police said the 38-year-old shot his neighbor John Rota in the stomach Friday when they got into an argument over the disposal of leaves near their Randolph homes.
Only in Britain (I hope)
CPS defends prosecution of disabled widow in 'prodding' case
The Crown Prosecution Service today defended its decision to take legal proceedings against a 71-year-old woman who prodded a 17-year-old youth in the chest.
Renate Bowling, of Thornton Cleveleys, Lancashire, confronted the boy in the street after stones were thrown at her home.
The disabled widow, who walks with a steel frame, said she thought it was a "joke" when police arrived at the scene and arrested her for jabbing the teenager with her finger. [...]
Bowling was given a conditional discharge and ordered to pay £50 court costs. [...]
"I saw one of them throw the stones against my window from my bedroom. I went out and found him hiding behind a wall. I poked my finger out at him and told him what I thought of him.
"Then the police arrested me - I thought 'What a joke. What is going on?'."
October 06, 2009
The glass harmonica
The YouTube notes say, "Invented by Benjamin Franklin in 1761. Music by Wolfgang A. Mozart. Played by French artist Thomas Bloch, exhibiting the glass harmonica in the Paris Music Museum, Nov. 29, 2007." Wikipedia has an article about this device.
What a belly flop
From Britain's Daily Mail, about an event that occurred in Thailand.
My bungee nightmare: Briton hits water at 80mph after elastic cord flies loose
As he hurtled towards the water at 80mph on a bungee jump, Rishi Baveja anxiously awaited the moment when the elastic cord snapped him back aloft.
It never came.
The harness around his feet worked free and he continued accelerating until he hit the surface of a Thai lagoon.
Fortunately he managed to take the full force of the impact on his chest, escaping catastrophic head injuries.
But the Cambridge graduate still suffered a ruptured spleen, torn liver, collapsed lungs and massive bruising.
If you were around in 1919 and came across this poster:
I mean, seriously, would you quit drinking?
How to score a car
Detroit man faces 2 years for stealing date's car
A Detroit man has been sentenced to at least two years in prison for stealing a woman's car after skipping out on the check during their first date.
Twenty-four-year-old Terrance McCoy was sentenced today in Oakland County Circuit Court to two to 10 years in prison. [...]
Police say McCoy dined with the 27-year-old Southfield woman April 24 at a restaurant in Ferndale. The woman told investigators McCoy said he forgot his wallet in her car and asked for the keys. Police say McCoy then took off in the car.
SNL out takes
Yo ho ho
Illinois treasure hunt is halted as possible prank
ST. LOUIS — An Illinois woman who set out on a treasure hunt for buried gold coins after finding a cryptic note in an antique rocking chair may have been the victim of a prolific prankster who died more than 30 years ago.
With help of a donated backhoe, Patty Henken recently tore up a vacant lot in Springfield, Ill., where a typewritten note signed by "Chauncey Wolcott" — found in an old chair she bought at auction last November — suggested she would find a chest containing more than $250 in U.S. gold coins. [...]
An Iowa woman who read news accounts of the hunt said she knows Wolcott's true identity: John "Jay" Slaven, a notorious practical joker and coin collector who often used a typewriter in his pranks.
October 05, 2009
A Drink With Something In it
There is something about a Martini,
A tingle remarkably pleasant;
A yellow, a mellow Martini;
I wish I had one at present.
There is something about a Martini,
Ere the dining and dancing begin,
And to tell you the truth,
It is not the vermouth--
I think that perhaps it's the gin.
- Ogden Nash
Redneck fire alarm
Hat tip: Mary
Up in smoke (2)
The second link below directs you the NYT article (registration required).
Steve sends a link to an article at KRQE's site about the Advanced Tactical Laser that Boeing built for the USAF.
October 03, 2009
Weekend Reading 34
The Weekend Interview with John Mackey: The Conscience of a Capitalist - WSJ.com
The Whole Foods founder talks about his Journal health-care op-ed that spawned a boycott, how he deals with unions, and why he thinks CEOs are overpaid.
"I honestly don't know why the article became such a lightning rod," says John Mackey, CEO and founder of Whole Foods Market Inc., as he tries to explain the firestorm caused by his August op-ed on these pages opposing government-run health care. "I think a lot of people who got angry haven't read what I actually wrote. There was a lot of emotional reaction—fear and anger. I just wanted to get people to think about whether there was a better way to reform the system."
Mr. Mackey has flown into Washington, D.C., for a board meeting of the Global Animal Partnership, a group that advocates for the humane treatment of animals. There was no private jet: He arrived on Southwest Airlines from Austin, Texas, and he bought the "Wanna Getaway" bottom basement fare. "I barely got the last aisle seat," he says. While in town he stays in the bedroom of his regional president, who lives in Maryland.
October 02, 2009
I think they're pumped
They've got a great promotional clip at any event. The music's infectious.
Maybe Danilo, our contributor in Brazil, will leave a comment and tell us what the local reaction was to the IOC announcement.
No joke: College removes zombie plan from site
All set for hurricanes? Check. Pandemics? Check. Living dead? Check.
GAINESVILLE, Fla. - The University of Florida's response plans for a zombie apocalypse are no longer available for public consumption.
University spokesman Steve Orlando said Friday the university removed a link to a disaster recovery exercise, which detailed how the school could respond to an outbreak of the undead. The link was taken down late Thursday afternoon.
The Invisible Man
This is one of eleven images of Liu Bolin, who makes himself invisible by painting himself - no Photoshopping, no trick photography. Just paint.
Here's a little follow-up about Ms Simonova. She's the sand-painter featured in the post Requiem in Sand.
Ukraine's Got Talent winner brings nation to tears
The appearance of a shy 24-year-old on a Ukrainian TV talent show this year has caused a nation to revisit its painful wartime past and is well on the way to becoming an international sensation.
About 13 million people watched Kseniya Simonova win Ukraine's Got Talent live with an extraordinary demonstration of "sand art". Most of them, according to reports, were weeping. The judges and studio audience sobbed throughout. [...]
Simonova has returned to ordinary life in the Crimean seaside town of Evpatoria, where she has used her £80,000 prize to buy a modest house and set up a children's charity.
Simonova has told interviewers she is happy to stay in Evpatoria and will not be travelling abroad to cash in on her growing global fan base. Her success has taken the young woman by surprise. "I only entered because there was a child I know who needed an operation and I wanted to help," she said. "I did not mean to make the whole country cry."
Before the Photoshopping
Practice your penmanship
Teller Couldn't Read Robbery Suspect's Note
HILLSBORO, Ore. -- A 30-year-old woman tried to rob a bank Wednesday by handing a teller a threatening note, but police said the teller couldn't read her handwriting, reported television station KPTV in Portland, Ore.
Police said Stephanie Martin walked into a Wells Fargo bank in Hillsboro and handed the teller a note that read, "Need $300 or I'll kill you. I'm serious."
The teller told Martin she couldn't read the handwriting, police said. Martin then walked to a counter and re-wrote the note on a bank slip, according to Lt. Mike Rouches, of the Hillsboro Police Department.
The teller then hit the silent alarm and the bank's manager asked how he could help Martin, Rouches said.
October 01, 2009
Who da man?
Unbelievable -- worth watching whether you like baseball or not.
Not a woman to trifle with
Cops: Woman Fried, Ate Goldfish Amid Fight With Ex
PASADENA, Texas -- Authorities say a Houston-area woman who was burned up at her former common-law husband fried their pet goldfish and ate some of them. [...]
Police spokesman Vance Mitchell says the man reported on Saturday that the woman took the goldfish from his apartment.
Mitchell says the two argued earlier about some jewelry the man had given her but took back. She wanted the jewelry returned.
Too many aces
Joe writes, "I was playing the standard solitare game on my PC and came across two ace of spades. The game played normally and even allowed me to stack the ace on the a red two as if it were a one. Over the thousands of times I've played the game, I've never seen that happen. The game didn't freeze; I guess I just got a joker card!"
It's a record
Bangladesh Awards Farmer Who Killed 83K Rats
DHAKA, Bangladesh -- Bangladesh on Wednesday awarded a farmer who killed more than 83,000 rats and launched a monthlong campaign nationwide to kill millions more, to protect crops and reduce the need for food imports.
Mokhairul Islam, 40, won a first prize of a color television for killing some 83,450 rats in the past nine months in Gazipur district near the South Asian country's capital, Dhaka. He collected their tails for proof.
First time ever
For a person to ride on a jet-powered carousel.