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March 31, 2010

Card master

This video is pretty impressive - it's an ad for a Samsung camcorder.

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It's time for the Second Coming

Man breaks into North Alabama home, claims to be Jesus Christ and says he is there to have sex

A man broke into a Franklin County home on Sunday and told the owner that he was Jesus Christ and was there to have sex with his wife and daughter, the TimesDaily in Florence reports.

Jean Timms, 65, of Gun Town, Miss., was charged with third-degree burglary, attempted indecent exposure, and resisting arrest, the newspaper reports. A mental examination for Timms is being ordered.

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Best sign ever?

From NerdNirvana.org:

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Via And

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Man in a Moon

Probe sees 'Pac-man in the moon'

The Cassini spacecraft in orbit around Saturn has caught an interesting new view of the tiny moon Mimas.

The probe measured temperature differences across the object's surface and produced a map that looks just like the 1980s Pac-Man video games icon.

Scientists are unsure why Mimas should display such variations but say it is probably related to the diversity of textures in the surface materials.

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March 30, 2010

By the numbers

A very nicely done short clip about the Fibonacci sequence, the Golden Ratio and other numerical relationships in nature.

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Clever marketing (2)

German Firm Wins Right to Make Beer Called 'Fucking Hell'

The EU's trademarks authority has permitted a German firm to brew beer and produce clothing under the name "Fucking Hell". It may be an expletive in English, but in German it could refer to a light ale -- Hell -- from the Austrian town of Fucking. Whether it will be brewed there is another question.

The European Union trademarks authority has permitted a German firm to register the brand name "Fucking Hell" for a new beer, much to the irritation of the Austrian village of Fucking.

In English, the term "Fucking Hell" is just an expletive used to express irritation or surprise. In German, it could refer to a light ale from Fucking in Upper Austria, because "Hell" is a term for light ale in southern Germany and Austria.

The problem is that Fucking has no brewery, and the town's mayor, Franz Meindl, is not aware of any plans to build one there, Austrian public broadcaster ORF reported on its Web site.

H.T. Ms. M.

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Plop, plop, fizz, fizz

Water (and AlkaSeltzer) in zero gravity.

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Makin' bacon

This is the text from a pictorial presentation of cooking bacon on a machine gun.

Making breakfast couldn't get any more manly:

I've discovered a new way of cooking bacon. All you need is: bacon, tin foil, some string, and.. oh whats it called?… oh yeah, an old worn out 7.62mm machine gun that is about to be discarded, and about 200 rounds of ammunition.

1) You start by wrapping the barrel in tin foil. Then you wrap bacon around it, and tie it down with some string.

2) you then wrap some more tin foil around it, and once again tie it down with string.

3) It is now ready to be inserted into the cooking device. I ripped the tin foil a little bit getting the barrel inserted. that part of the bacon got severely burned by hot gasses.

4) After just a few short bursts you should be able to smell the wonderful aroma of bacon.

5) I gave this about 250 rounds. but I think around 150 might actually be enough. But then again I don't mind when bacon is crispy. Ahh the smell of sizzling bacon mixed with the smell of gunpowder and weapon oil.

6) And the end result: Crispy delicious well done bacon.

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March 29, 2010

Avatar 2 trailer

Danilo sends a link to a trailer for the new Avatar.

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To the highest bidder

From Mark Perry's Carpe Diem

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Flame on! (2)

From the UK Telegraph:

Flame-thrower scooter owner arrested
Colin Furze, a plumber who adapted his scooter to shoot 15ft flames from the rear, has been arrested for an alleged firearms offence. Mr Furze, 30, displayed his modified his scooter, with an anti-tailgating flame thrower operated by the flick of switch, in the press earlier this week.

But Lincolnshire Police spotted the pictures of Mr Furze allegedly riding his scooter on a public highway – and arrested him on Thursday.

He was held on suspicion of possessing an object converted into a firearm, and was released on unconditional police bail without charge until May 6 pending further police investigation.

Possession of a firearm carries a maximum prison sentence of five to seven years at Crown Court.

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And in less than 45 seconds!

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March 27, 2010

Flying over Mars

Try this one in full-screen mode at 720p, if you have hte bandwidth.

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Methane market needed

Manure Raises New Stink
Giant Gas Bubbles in Indiana Dairy Farm's Waste Pond Frighten Neighbors

WINCHESTER, Ind.—Like many of his neighbors, farmer Tony Goltstein has to deal with the aftermath of the dairy bubble.

But besides his mounting financial troubles, Mr. Goltstein also must contend with bubbles the size of small houses that have sprouted from the pool of manure at his Union Go Dairy Farm. Some are 20 feet tall, inflated with the gas released by 21 million gallons of decomposing cow manure.

Tony Goltstein stands last week by the bubbling lagoon at his farm in Winchester, Ind. Some fear popping the bubbles could result in an explosion.

But he has a plan. It requires a gas mask, a small boat and a Swiss Army knife.

It sounds like Mr. Goltstein needs to talk to the people at Manure Safety Solutions. I was driving on US 61 from St. Louis to Iowa last week when I passed someone pulling this trailer.

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Eternal enmity

A bulldog tears the bumper trim off a Chattanooga patrol car. Bad dog! No biscuit!

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I didn't think you could get that drunk

Police: Drunken Man Tried To Revive Dead Opossum

PUNXSUTAWNEY, Pa. -- State police have charged a central Pennsylvania man with public drunkenness after he was seen trying to resuscitate a dead opossum along a highway.

State police in Punxsutawney said several witnesses saw Donald Wolfe, 55, of Brookville, near the animal Thursday afternoon. Police arrested him along Route 36 in Oliver Township at about 3 p.m.

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March 25, 2010

This, that and the other

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RIght to the heart of the matter

Vagina-Scented Perfume Debuts

DALLAS - A new scent claims to accurately capture the "the vaginal scent of a beautiful woman."

Vulva Original bills itself not as a perfume, but an erotic feminine scent designed to offer pleasure and arousal by smelling it.

It is not clear what compromises the concoction but it is advertised as being a "slightly yellow, desirable substance" that contains "more organic content."

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A not-so-expensive toy

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March 24, 2010

A virtual choir

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The Flake Equation

There's a particularly funny cartoon at XKCD today that I'm sure Michael Crichton would have liked.

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MIL SPEC chili

Indian military to weaponize world's hottest chili

GAUHATI, India – The Indian military has a new weapon against terrorism: the world's hottest chili.

After conducting tests, the military has decided to use the thumb-sized "bhut jolokia," or "ghost chili," to make tear gas-like hand grenades to immobilize suspects, defense officials said Tuesday.

The bhut jolokia was accepted by Guinness World Records in 2007 as the world's spiciest chili. It is grown and eaten in India's northeast for its taste, as a cure for stomach troubles and a way to fight the crippling summer heat.

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Ninja cats

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March 23, 2010

Slo-mo free style

Scenes from the movie Seven Sunny Days.

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I didn't know they had a party of their own

The Tory, the Witch and the Raving Loony to fight for Witney

WITNEY residents will find themselves with election choices including a would-be Tory Prime Minister, a witch or a 'loony'.

Self-proclaimed 'King of the Witches' Magus Lynius Shadee and the Official Monster Raving Loony Party's Alan "Howling Laud" Hope will join other more conventional party candidates in standing against Conservative leader David Cameron.

Via Daithi and The Wild Hunt (where Jason links this all too appropriate bit of Monty Python).

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A clever trick

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March 22, 2010

Not counting the candy bars

Via

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The sex ASBO woman's in the news again

Neighbour with sex Asbo arrested for noisy sessions

Nightmare neighbour Caroline Cartwright who was given a sex Asbo to prevent noisy sessions has been arrested after failing to keep the lid on her lovemaking.

Mrs Cartwright avoided jail in January when a judge at Newcastle Crown Court handed her a suspended prison sentence after she was caught breaching a four-year Asbo which bans her from having loud sex sessions.

But two months after her court case Caroline, of Hall Road, Washington, is said to be at it again and has been arrested by police and hauled before magistrates.

The 49-year-old has now been thrown back into a bail hostel to keep her and husband Steve apart while the courts decide what to do next.

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This is a shredder all right

H.T. Tucson John

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Book structures

Book Installations

In past we have seen artwork created using books as medium, but it never occurred to us that even installations can be created using books until we saw these. These are the creations of artist Bendtsen. Bendtsen creates a series of architectural "installations" using books

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H.T. Ms. M

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March 20, 2010

Nice shot

This reminds me of my freshman chemistry course at Illinois. One day, a student was heckling the T.A. while the T.A. was writing on the blackboard. The T.A., a young guy in his first year of grad school, responded by throwing a piece of chalk at the heckler. That didn't turn out very well because the heckler ducked and the chalk hit the woman sitting behind him. It hit her in the face and evidently with some force because she cried out in pain. That was pretty much the end of class for that day.

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Car wash blues

IRS visits Sacramento carwash in pursuit of 4 cents

It was every businessperson's nightmare.

Arriving at Harv's Metro Car Wash in midtown Wednesday afternoon were two dark-suited IRS agents demanding payment of delinquent taxes. "They were deadly serious, very aggressive, very condescending," says Harv's owner, Aaron Zeff.

The really odd part of this: The letter that was hand-delivered to Zeff's on-site manager showed the amount of money owed to the feds was ... 4 cents.

Inexplicably, penalties and taxes accruing on the debt – stemming from the 2006 tax year – were listed as $202.31, leaving Harv's with an obligation of $202.35.

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Paris in 26 gigapixels

Here - comprising 2346 images. It's claimed to be the world's largest photo.

Paris26GB.jpg

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March 18, 2010

Behind the profile pic

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Does she know about this plan?

Klee's Daniel Angerer Invites You to Taste His Wife's Breast-Milk Cheese

The Strong Buzz recently reported that Lori Mason, wife of chef Daniel Angerer and his partner in Klee Brasserie, was turned away from the International Restaurant and Food Services Show when a security guard informed her that no one under 18 could be admitted (Mason and Angerer took their 8-week-old daughter). The results of Mason's letter to the New York State Restaurant Association (which sponsored the event) remain to be seen, but one thing's for sure — the NYSRA won't be getting a taste of her breast-milk cheese. That's right, chef Angerer tells us he's making cheese from mother's milk.

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Getting the most out of your vehicle

Mary sends 13 examples of transportation optimization.

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Ukraine's got cute

Here's a cute clip of two tykes on Ukraine's Got Talent. I wonder if there's any place that doesn't have a television show like this? Ted Mack would be proud.

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March 17, 2010

Everyday looper

Here are a couple of demos of Everyday Looper for the iPhone.


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WHY

This is the Wally-Hermes Yacht and it's quite a piece of work. Here's a collection of photos of it.

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Pinwheel Tony

This one's destined to become a Craig's List Classic, I think.

Looking to start band... with unique twist (Las Vegas)
Date: 2010-03-12, 9:04AM PST

Hi everyone, my name is Tony. I've been a professional guitar player for 20 years in bands all across the country. I settled down in Las Vegas last year and am looking to start a new band with a unique twist. [...] Here's the twist: We would play covers of the bands I mentioned but when it's time for the guitar solo, i will drop my pants. I have an urethral implant that I can set up to emit a small flame of natural gas and will light it on fire.

Here's a screen cap, in case the ad disappears.

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Snow climb

Check out the second rider.

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March 15, 2010

Persistence pays

Don't let a little thing like a flood stop you.

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Military wisdom

Here's a sample from a fairly large collection.

When one engine fails on a twin-engine airplane, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash. — Multi-Engine Training Manual

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There are some twisted minds out there

From Planck's Constant, via Mary.

Schuylkill County Pennsylvania has a warped sense of humor

People in Schuylkill County, Pennsylvania have a warped sense of humor. It must be something in the coal-infused water.

This is the pull off at SR 61 and Adamsdale Rd. A deer was hit there.

The couch was dumped there previously.

Day two the deer was on the couch.

Day three the end table and lamp showed up.

Day four the TV and TV stand showed up.

SorryHunters.jpg

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A lost episode of Star Trek

Via

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March 14, 2010

What a feedback loop

This is a post at Bishop HIll that's so brief I've copied the whole.

The insanity of greenery

This from a correspondent:

A German aristocrat of my acquaintance has figured out that the price he will be paid for the output of a solar panel is so high compared with the price he will pay for his input of normal electricity, that he is thinking of rigging up powerful arc lamps to shine on solar panels on his extensive roof.

While It's a little hard to believe that the price difference is large enough to make this worthwhile,. it' s certainly not impossible that the German government has set prices that way. If this person has very high efficiency photovoltaics (> 40%) and the price difference was at least 250%, it would break even. For example, if he's buying energy from the grid at 10¢ per kWh and selling the solar energy back to the grid at 25¢ per kWh, it would break even.

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March 12, 2010

Last call

Danilo sends a link to this video and says it's way cool.

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Polly wants her house back

Bank Sorry for Taking Parrot
BofA Believed Woman's Home Was Vacant, Padlocked It and Kept Bird Over a Week

Angela Iannelli came home from work to find her home padlocked and her 11-year-old Blue and Gold Macaw, Luke, missing. Bank of America had erroneously told a contractor to enter the house and change the locks.

PITTSBURGH—Bank of America Corp. apologized after its local contractor entered the home of a mortgage borrower when she was away, cut off utilities, padlocked the door and confiscated her pet parrot, Luke.

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The trumpet woman

Denise Reis is a Brazilian musician with an unusual talent. Check these out.

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All together now

This graph comes from a post titled: What If Everybody in Canada Flushed At Once? It shows water usage in Edmonton during the Olympic Games.

OlympicWaterUsage.jpg

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March 10, 2010

What an entrance!

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Venus in the snow

I hope they get some warmer weather in New Jersey 'cause someone's nose has turned blue. 'Pornography', my aching back.

Nude snow sculpture in Rahway leads police to request 'snowlady' cover-up

RAHWAY --She was a frosty Venus de Milo, but one Rahway family's snow-packed tribute to the Greek goddess of love and beauty was another person's pornography.

Maria Conneran and her family worked feverishly to fashion their armless, nude snowlady from last week's heap of snow, grabbing attention and photographs on Rahway's Colonia Boulevard.

Not all the attention was good, however.

Among the visitors was a patrolman dispatched to the Conneran household after Rahway police received an anonymous complaint "of a naked snow woman," said Sgt. Dominick Sforza.

Venus_of_the_snow.jpg

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The oldest trick in the book

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Contest photography

The Big Picture had a collection of some of the entries in National Geographic's International Photography Contest 2009. The Big Picture editor chose the ones he liked. In this one, there are a mahout and his swimming elephant.

SwimmingElephant.jpg

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March 09, 2010

Butt Drugs

From the ILoveLocalCommercials.com people:

Via

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The power of prayer

A CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for an interview.

'Pardon me, sir, I'm Rebecca Smith from CNN. What's your name?'

'Morris Fishbein,' he replied.

'Sir, how long have you been coming to the Western Wall and praying?'

'For about 60 years.'

'60 years! That's amazing! What do you pray for?'

I pray for peace between the Christians, Jews and the Muslims.' I pray for all the wars and all the hatred to stop. I pray for all our children to grow up safely as responsible adults, and to love their fellow man.'

'How do you feel after doing this for 60 years?'

'Like I'm talking to a fuckin' wall. Shalom.'

H.T. Rob

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D'oh! (3)

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Apocalypse Cake

Daithi sends a link to Apocalypse Cake, which you'll need to visit to appreciate. The photo below shows Jonestown Kool-Aid Cake.

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March 08, 2010

The Milky Way over Mauna Kea

Here's a nice time-lapse clip.

'

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More motivation

A collection of 18 snarky 'motivational' posters.

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SoundRacer V8

This is a pretty clever toy.

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Today's PSA

Have you ever wondered how many of the dollar bills In your wallet have been in a stripper's butt crack?

If not, you're probably wondering now. Remember to wash your hands after handling money.

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March 06, 2010

Traveling southeast Asia

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This takes it

FHP: Driver lacked razor-sharp focus

As authorities nationwide warn motorists of the dangers of driving while texting, Florida Keys law enforcement officers add a new caution: Don't try to shave your privates, either.

Florida Highway Patrol troopers say a two-vehicle crash Tuesday at Mile Marker 21 on Cudjoe Key was caused by a 37-year-old woman driver who was shaving her bikini area while her ex-husband took the wheel from the passenger seat.

"She said she was meeting her boyfriend in Key West and wanted to be ready for the visit," Trooper Gary Dunick said. "If I wasn't there, I wouldn't have believed it. About 10 years ago I stopped a guy in the exact same spot ... who had three or four syringes sticking out of his arm. It was just surreal and I thought, 'Nothing will ever beat this.' Well, this takes it."

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March 05, 2010

Faster and lower

Zoltan Veres is an aerobatic fool from Hungary. There's some amazing photography in this clip.

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Too well prepared

Nearing the end, Stan is surrounded by loved ones. As the final moment approaches, he gathers all his strength and whispers, "I must tell you my greatest secret."

His family urges him to go on.

"Before I got married, I had it all," Stan explains. "Fast cars, cute girls, and plenty of money. But a good friend warned me, 'Get married and start a family. Otherwise, no one will be there to give you a glass of water to drink when you're on your deathbed.' So I took his advice. I traded the girls for a wife, beer for baby food. I sold my Ferrari and invested in college funds. And now here we are. And you know what?"

"What?"

"I'm not even thirsty!"

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Storm damage out west

Tucson John writes

"With all the news lately about the subzero weather and snow that the Midwest and East Coast areas are experiencing, we shouldn't forget that Tucson has also had its share of devastating weather in the last couple of weeks.

Below is a photo showing damage to a home from a recent storm that passed through the Tucson area. Many a bingo game was played in this very spot before its untimely devastation. It really makes you cherish what you have and reminds us not to take life for granted."

TucsonStormDamage.jpg

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Tilt shifted NYC

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Less than zero

That's how much 'tolerance' you'll find in this school.

Jeffersonville middle school student suspended for touching pill

JEFFERSONVILLE, IN (WAVE) - The parents of a Kentuckiana seventh grade student say their young daughter was suspended from school for doing exactly what she's been taught to do for years - to just say no to drugs.

The girl did not bring the prescription drug to her Jeffersonville, IN school, nor did she take it, but she admits that she touched it and in Greater Clark County Schools that is drug possession.

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March 04, 2010

Outrunning an avalanche

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Scott's shots

Scott Ellis has a nice portfolio of nature photos at his Zenfolio site.

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The Force Unleashed

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Mr. Pudding

From Futility Closet.

The Pudding Guy

In 1999, UC-Davis civil engineer David Phillips was grocery shopping when he noticed something peculiar. Healthy Choice Foods was offering frequent-flyer miles to customers who bought its products. But a 25-cent pudding would bring 100 miles — the reward was worth more than the product itself.

Recognizing a good thing, Phillips bought 12,150 servings of pudding for $3,140, claiming he was stocking up for Y2K. Then he enlisted the Salvation Army to help him peel off the UPC codes, in exchange for donating the pudding.

He mailed his submission to Healthy Choice, and to their credit they awarded him 1.25 million frequent-flyer miles, enough for 31 round trips to Europe, 42 to Hawaii, 21 to Australia, or 50 anywhere in the United States.

There's no downside. Phillips also got Aadvantage Gold status for life with American Airlines, which brings a special reservations number, priority boarding, upgrades, and bonus miles. And he got an $815 tax writeoff for donating the pudding.

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March 03, 2010

Slo-mo chow

Hungry dogs lickin' their chops.

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Question authority!

From the Atlanta Journal-Constitution:

Woman, 61, arrested for asking 'why'

Four women, two of them well into middle age, were discussing funeral plans for a friend when an Atlanta police officer told them to move.

Three did but one asked "why." In answer to her question, Minnie Carey, then 61, was handcuffed, put into a police wagon and taken to jail, where she was held for nine hours.

The Citizen Review Board found that Atlanta Police officer Brandy Dolson had violated APD policies and had falsely arrested Carey.

"I was blown away," Carey told The Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "I had heard about people in the community being harassed by the police … It really didn't shock me as much as it probably would have if I had not heard of people going to jail for no reason. I figured I was just another one.

"But I had the right to ask 'why' I had to move," she said.

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Over the castle

Three US F-15s following a German F-104 over Neuschwanstein. 5 megapixel version here.

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Via

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Think that's punny, do you?

From the Post-Dispatch:

In contest with a twist, Marquette students put a spin on words

CHESTERFIELD — And now a word about students at Marquette High School who gathered last week to prove that learning can be pun.

A pun contest took place at the school last Wednesday.

Beginning as casual in-class word play, the contest, now in its second year, has expanded to include 15 competitors and 125 spectators. [...]

Sophomore Ryan Sieli was the contest winner. In response to a prompt about the forensics class setting up a fake crime scene in the library he said: "I bet the librarian went ballistic when she saw that."

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March 01, 2010

Fully sick

The story:


On the 9th Dec, just before Christmas and the festive season, I was diagnosed with Tuberculosis and placed into a quarantined room in Sydney Hospital. After three and a half weeks in hospital, I was released briefly because the doc's thought that they would have had the Tuberculosis under control with standard treatments, but was called back into the lonely little cell on the 18th Jan when some test results showed that my particular strain of TB was "multi-drug resistant", meaning that it was a much more intense treatment program, over a longer period of time. Shitballs.

I am an Australian, born and raised, but I had done some travel in South Africa and South America, so it's believed that I picked up the TB somewhere on one of those journeys.

In any case, I have now spent about 60 days in quarantine so far, on my own, and it's likely that I'll be here for another 4+ weeks. To take my mind off the treatment, the loneliness and the situation that I have found myself in, I have been playing around making some songs and some clips for those songs, then putting them up on Youtube. Taking the time to bring my friends and other people a bit of a laugh, has been a great way for me to feel as if I am taking a bad situation and making it somehow positive.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:04 PM | Comments (3) | TrackBack

Fake potholes

Mary sent a message with pictures of fake potholes and the claim that they were placed to slow speeders. But it appears their real purpose is to advertise shock absorbers.

FakePotholes.jpg

A clever idea in either case.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:03 PM | Comments (1) | TrackBack

Make your stocker an ATV

Posted by joke du jour at 08:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Irony update (2)

Scrap metal thieves haul off sculptor's recycled art

MANATEE COUNTY - Oh, the irony: A man uses scrap metal to create artwork. Thieves steal the artwork and police believe it is sold as scrap metal.

Three large pieces of artwork were taken from a home in Whitfield Estates, where a band of crooks -- it had to be more than one person, deputies reason, because the art weighed about 300 pounds -- snuck off with steel statues.

Neither the artist nor police are sure what happened to the artwork. But both presume it was sold for scrap. The way scrap metal is selling these days, the thieves may have been lucky to get $40 or $50.

Posted by joke du jour at 08:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack