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May 30, 2010

Memorial Day Tribute

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May 29, 2010

Cuando me enamoro

Esto me recuerda de mi maestra de cuarto grado.

English translation.

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Gringo masks

Markets in everything.

Miami Company Creates "Gringo Masks" for Illegals

If you are looking for a way to beat Arizona's new immigration law, look no further than Miami's new Gringo Masks.

The new product, brainchild of Miami advertising agency Zubi Advertising, guarantees the cops won't be stopping you or your loved ones after you put your best white face forward.

The product is simple. Choose from a cut out of a blue-eyed, sandy hair-colored white guy or a green-eyed, blond haired white woman.

Cut the face to fit yours. Poke out the eyes. And presto! You don't look like a "suspicious, potentially illegal" alien. Rubber band or green card not included.

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May 28, 2010

Arf!

Fun to watch.

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School's out, judge

Woman refuses sentence writing sentence

ELLENWOOD, Ga., May 26 (UPI) -- A Georgia woman ordered to write "I will not dishonor myself by passing a school bus" 2,500 times has asked for a jury trial rather than accept the sentence.

Nancy Nguyen, 19, of Ellenwood, was ordered by a Forest Park judge to write the sentence as well as perform community service, pass a defensive driving course and pay a $350 fine after the judge found her responsible for passing a stopped school bus in March, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported Wednesday.

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Serious Parkour

Check out the action at 2:24.

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The backpacking cat

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Kitty the Most Adventurous Backpacking Cat in the World

Kitty is perhaps the most adventurous cat in the world. She is the beloved cat pet of a French couple/explorers, Guillaume and Laetitia who are on a mission to travel from Miami, US to Ushuaia, Argentina purely on foot.

More pictures here. 2 minutes of video here.

H.T. Carol

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May 27, 2010

A little space here, buddy, OK?

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No gulls

From Friends of Irony.

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French comedy

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MILSPEC brownies

How to Make Brownies, Pentagon-Style

The Pentagon's brownie recipe is 26 pages long. Just grab a copy of document MIL-C-44072C and gather your ingredients: water that conforms to the "National Primary Drinking Water Regulations (Copies are available from the Office of Drinking Water, Environmental Protection Agency, WH550D, 401 M Street, S.W., Washington, DC 20460)," and some eggs in compliance with "Regulations Governing the Inspection of Eggs and Egg Products (7 CFR Part 59)," and you're ready to go!

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May 26, 2010

STS-131

A time-lapse clip of the shuttle Discovery starting in the Orbiter Processing Facility and ending when it lifts off.

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Field botanists they ain't

Hundreds Of 'Pot Plants' Seized By Texas Cops Aren't Marijuana

Maybe there should be an IQ test for police officers. What was first thought to be one of the largest marijuana seizures in the Corpus Christi Police Department's history turned into an embarrassing incident for the cops, as the clueless officers spent a busy and exciting evening harvesting hundreds of harmless weeds from a city park.

The revealing incident began when a teenager riding his bike through Waldron Park in Flour Bluff discovered what he thought were pot plants growing there about 8 p.m Thursday, reports Bart Bedsole of KRIStv.com.

The would-be junior narc wasted no time in excitedly reporting his "find."

Police then self-importantly hauled away 300 to 400 medium-sized plants that they, too, believed were marijuana.

Exhausted officers only stopped collecting the harmless plants because it got too dark to work; they planned to return bright and early in the morning to look around for more marijuana.

Trouble is, after spending more than an hour laboriously removing and tagging hundreds of plants, and then hauling it all to the police department downtown, testing revealed that none of it was marijuana at all.

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Kung fu bear

This bear is named Cloud and lives at the Hiroshima zoo. (Mind the loud soundtrack.)

Updated to the version without the loud soundtrack.

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Git R Done

One of my favorites at White Trash Repairs.

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May 25, 2010

Don't quit your day job

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The Kama Sutra of currency

Here's the least explicit of 10 ancient Roman coins with sex scenes - sprintia

RomanCoin.jpg

Via

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A bunch of lucky days

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At last

After keeping us waiting for a century, Mark Twain will finally reveal all

Exactly a century after rumours of his death turned out to be entirely accurate, one of Mark Twain's dying wishes is at last coming true: an extensive, outspoken and revelatory autobiography which he devoted the last decade of his life to writing is finally going to be published.

The creator of Tom Sawyer, Huckleberry Finn and some of the most frequently misquoted catchphrases in the English language left behind 5,000 unedited pages of memoirs when he died in 1910, together with handwritten notes saying that he did not want them to hit bookshops for at least a century.

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May 24, 2010

Epic soccer

An entertaining ad from Nike.

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Only in China

16 items that only Chinese WalMarts carry.

ChineseWalMart.jpg

Via

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A smart cat

H.T. Ms. M.

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FM

Druids hired to cut road accidents

Motoroway bosses in Austria secretly hired a full-time team of druids to drain 'negative energy' from accident blackspots.

The team is said to have reduced fatal accidents at one notorious crash site to zero after restoring its "terrestrial radiation".

Chief engineer Harald Dirnbacher from Austria's motorway authority ASFINAG explained: "We were really sceptical at first and certainly didn't want people to know what we were doing, so we kept it secret."

But now the trial results are so impressive officials are spreading the scheme nationwide.

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May 22, 2010

Making the Model T

The $950 Model T price he mentions would be $22,401 in 2009 dollars. Today, MSRP for a Ford Fiesta is $13,300 - with an electric starter, air bags and a wide selection of colors. But of course it won't handle bad roads as well as a Model T.

The $5 daily wage would be an daily wage of $118 in 2009 dollars - or an annual wage of $29,500. I think most auto workers are doing better than that today (the ones still working, that is).

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Best of Show

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The Fug Girls Pick the Loopiest Red-Carpet Outfits of Cannes

The sound you hear is the sobbing of thousands of French lingerie-store proprietors, crying over how easily one of their many pairs of expensive, bespoke knickers could have taken center stage in this particular look. Ms. Muz's American Beauty shower curtain is certainly in keeping with the fact that her film, Tournée, is about burlesque — she herself is a well-known burlesque performer — but the fact that she's completely and totally starkers underneath it, in public and in broad daylight, is vintage crazy. Stay classy, Cannes. By which we mean, please don't ever change.


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May 21, 2010

What a pet

H.T. Carol

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The Empire State Building under construction

When men were men...

H.T. Tucson John

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How to open blinds

From Baynham & Tyers, courtesy of a link from Kevin.

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I think I'd need to practice first

Chinese Snap to Attention for Bra-Removing Contest

(May 18) -- Since the dawn of women's apparel, men have been trying to score by unhooking brassieres. This contest, however, brings the game to a whole new level.

A Chinese shopping mall hosted a competition to find out who could unclasp bras the fastest using just one hand.

Competitors raced to undress a line of eight masked women who stood on a stage in the Guangzhou mall wearing bras and short-shorts.

Eager participants entered the contest to fulfill their dreams and have the chance to take home a mall gift certificate for 1,000 yuan -- about $146 -- according to AsianPopular.com.

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May 20, 2010

Slick indeed

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You are what you eat

City requires lingerie store to get food permit for having tasty treats

Rosemary Benitez thought it was a joke at first. She was told her store was going to need a food permit in order to stay in business.

But Benitez doesn't own a restaurant. She owns the Shades of Love lingerie store on West Bitters road.

Shades of Love sells racy lingerie, high heel shoes, adult toys and items meant to enhance a couple's sex life. However, some of those items are edible. That's why the health department ruled the store needed a food permit. [...]

Beneitez says, "Everything is sold as novelty. Everything in the box says 'novelty item' only... It's not something you sit down and actually eat. It's more for licking and tasting. Edible? No. It's not going to fill you up."

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The news from New Orleans

H.T. Paul

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More funky product names

The UK's Daily Mail has a collection of 16:

PlacentaCream.jpg

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May 19, 2010

A really interesting prototype

...though maybe you need to be a bit of a gearhead to appreciate it.

Is Steve Durnin's D-Drive the holy grail of infinitely variable transmissions?

Ready for a bit of a mental mechanical challenge? Try your hand at understanding how the D-Drive works. Steve Durnin's ingenious new gearbox design is infinitely variable - that is, with your motor running at a constant speed, the D-Drive transmission can smoothly transition from top gear all the way through neutral and into reverse. It doesn't need a clutch, it doesn't use any friction drive components, and the power is always transmitted through strong, reliable gear teeth.

H.T. Paul B.

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Doodle 4 Google

This drawing is by one of the 40 regional finalists (in grades K - 12) in Google's Doodle 4 Google contest - where new designs for its logo are invited. Vote for your favorites, if you like.

DoodleForGoogle.jpg

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And speaking of Google's logo

Google Logo Constructed Out of 884 Photos

A group of employees at Google's offices in London have taken their time (working at Google really seems the best job in the world when you've got time for stunts like this) to create a Google logo out of 884 individually printed 4-inch by 6-inch photographs.

The result is this amazing time-lapse video that documents the creation of the logo, which took about five and a half hours to create. A camera took a shot every seven seconds and the entire thing has been compressed into less than a minute and a half for your convenience. Enjoy.

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Can you hear me now?

Man gets stuck in toilet trying to retrieve cell phone

A Chinese student had to be rescued by firefighters after he got his arm stuck down a toilet trying to retrieve his cell phone.

The Chongqing Technology and Business University student was using the toilet in his dorm while on his phone before accidentally dropping it down the hole, the Orange News reports. In a desperate act to try and get it back, he wrapped newspaper around his arm and went in after the device.

While the young man hoped the newspaper would keep his arm clean, it instead expanded in the water and trapped his arm in the U-tube of the toilet.

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May 18, 2010

A day they'll always remember

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Maddie's hobbit hole

Maddie Chambers built a doll house-size model of Bag End, Bilbo Baggins' home. Here's the first of many pictures she's taken of it.

BagEnd.jpg

Via

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Low pass fly-by's

H.T. Danilo

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Getting an eyeful

'Drinking' neat vodka through your EYE for a quick buzz?
It sounds insane, but countless young people are risking their sight in this new craze

Even as drunken student antics go, it was, by any stretch of the imagination, a disturbing scene. Surrounded by cheering rugby players, applauded by fellow members of the university netball team, 19-year-old Melissa Fontaine tipped back her head and giggled as fellow drinkers in the Students' Union bar pulled apart her eyelids and allowed them to pour a shot of vodka into her left eye.

'Vodka eyeballing', as it is known in student circles, is the latest drinking craze to sweep through Britain's universities.

Those who do it claim that it induces feelings of drunkenness at break-neck speeds, providing an instant high. [...]

Melissa, who left university last summer and is now 22, believes they are right to be worried. Her constantly watering left eye has been left permanently scarred by her antics. More worryingly still, she has been warned that her eyesight may deteriorate further as she gets older.

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May 17, 2010

Violin mashup

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Stencil your coffee

Design your own (text or graphics) at CoffeeStencil.com

CoffeeStencil.jpg

Via

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Wow! (3)

Ms. Watson's site is here.

Australian girl, 16, sails around the world

SYDNEY, Australia - A 16-year-old Australian who braved boat knockdowns and seven months of solitude on a sail around the world set foot on dry land outside the Sydney Opera House on Saturday and quickly set an earthier goal - getting her driver's license.

Jessica Watson became the youngest person to sail around the globe solo, nonstop, and unassisted when she cruised into Sydney Harbour in her pink, 34-foot yacht to a rock-star welcome. She successfully maneuvered her boat through raging storms, 40-foot waves, and seven knockdowns during the 23,000-nautical-mile journey that critics thought she would not survive.

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Facebook in real life

H.T. Ms. M.

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May 15, 2010

This one's for you, Mr. X24 5055

This nicely done C&W-style musical insult applies very well to the clown driving a maroon Toyota on I-55 near Collinsville, Illinois last evening a little after 9 PM. He cut us off hard when the road narrowed to a single lane.

This bozo's Illinois plate number is X24 5055. If anyone knows him, be sure to pass along my regards. (Caution: NSFW.)

The I-95 Song, by August Campbell and the Spur of the Moment band.

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Super magnets

Impressed? This one won the 2010 Best Illusion of the Year.

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Prom photo fail

140 funky prom pictures (including a few we've seen here previously).

PromPix.jpg

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Ridin' high

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Winng the battle and losing the war

Cop who said he wouldn't get a break gets a break

Craig Lancaster wanted to prove that Chicago Police officers are treated the same as others when they break the law, Cook County prosecutors said.

So in a drunken argument with a friend last summer, prosecutors said, the 41-year-old veteran officer shot a gun in the air outside an Ashburn bowling alley where he also worked security -- and waited.

Within minutes, Lancaster appeared to have won the debate when officers arrived on the scene and arrested him. He was charged with two counts of reckless discharge of a firearm.

But on Friday, some might argue, he caught a break -- but seemingly lost the argument.

Judge Marcus Salone acquitted Lancaster, who was apparently captured on surveillance cameras with his arms in the air. Lancaster could be seen on video holstering a gun seconds later as he walked back into the Bluebird Lanes Bowling Alley, at 3900 W. Columbus, prosecutors said.

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May 13, 2010

Worst DJ ever?

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Walking tornado

I believe this was spotted in Jarrell, Texas in the late 90's.

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H.T. Paul L.

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The deadly DHMO

New Age terrorists develop homeopathic bomb

The world has been placed on a heightened security alert following reports that New Age terrorists have harnessed the power of homeopathy for evil. ‘Homeopathic weapons represent a major threat to world peace,’ said President Barack Obama, ‘they might not cause any actual damage but the placebo effect could be quite devastating.’

The H2O-bomb has been developed by the radical New Age group, The Axis of Aquarius. [...]

Homeopathic bombs are comprised of 99.9% water but contain the merest trace element of explosive. The solution is then repeatedly diluted so as to leave only the memory of the explosive in the water molecules. According to the laws of homeopathy, the more that the water is diluted, the more powerful the bomb becomes.

‘It was only a matter of time before these people got hold of the material that they needed to make these bombs,’ said former UN weapons inspector, Hans Blix, ‘The world is a much more dangerous place with the advent of these Weapons of Mass Dilution.’


onoz.gif

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Muffin

Betty White was on last Saturday's SNL. I wasn't that amused by all the double entendres but I thought it was a hilarious spoof of NPR.

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May 12, 2010

The Raven

This the safe-for-work version. For the uncut version, go here.

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The Google of guesswork

Tom Parker has written a couple of books about rules of thumb. He has a site at RulesOfThumb.org where he hopes to collect them all and create the 'Google of guesswork', as he calls it.

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Here's an interesting sample: It takes two minutes for the sun to drop out of sight once it touches the horizon..

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It's a winner

Best Correction to a News Story. Ever.

This one requires no commentary. From Calbuzz today:

In our Saturday post <http://www.calbuzz.com/2010/05/team-emeg-dem-ad-is-a-plot-to-pick-a-gop-loser/> about the California Democratic Party's ad attacking Meg Whitman but masquerading as an "issues ad," we described the abrupt ending to our conversation with CDP Chairman John Burton. Through his spokesman, Burton on Monday complained that he had been misquoted. Burton says he didn't say "Fuck you." His actual words were, "Go fuck yourself." Calbuzz regrets the error.

Via

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Yuppie rap

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May 11, 2010

The yo-yo guy

To really appreciate this guy, visit the link and check out the other two videos.

Fake Yo-Yo Trickster Fools Every TV Station Everywhere

A strange, strange man has been showing up on morning shows throughout the Midwest, claiming to be a yo-yo trick champion. He is not. He is actually terrible at yo-yo. Yet he keeps getting on the air.

Little is known about "K-Strass," who goes by Kenny Strasser, or sometimes Karl Strassburg. He claims to be from Wisconsin (except when he doesn't). He claims to be from a broken home, with his own addiction issues (except when he isn't).

All we know is that K-Strass has shown up on television six times in the past month, showing off his yo-yo "skills" and generally embarrassing the hosts.

Via

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Careful what you tweet

From an InfoWorld column by Robert X. Cringely:

From here to tweeternity: Twitter to be preserved for posterity

If you ever needed a good reason to be especially careful what you say on Twitter, you now have at least two.

In what really sounds like a late April Fools' Day joke, the Library of Congress has announced (via Twitter, naturally) it is planning to archive all Twitter messages dating back to March 2006. That's right -- every mindless tweet about someone's cat and/or lunch, every breathless utterance from Ashton, all 10,785,632 tweets from the Guy Kawasaki Twitter Sweat Shop (oops, make that 10,785,635), all of it, right there next to Lincoln's speeches and the Gutenberg Bible.

And people wonder why writing satire has gotten so much harder.

TwitterFutureman.jpg

Image via

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Massively parallel painting

Wow.

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That's a volatile market

Here's a t-shirt that's available here.

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Via

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May 10, 2010

Gone fishin'

A sci-fi short.

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Slick scraping

The Frame has a collection of pictures of the oil slick in the Gulf of Mexico.

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Restore Joss Whedon

As a fan of Whedon's Firefly / Serenity, I thought this was funny. Marginally NSFW.

Via

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A practical solution

Porn Company Has Plan to Stop SEC Time-Wasting

Pink Visual, fleeting recipient of a Newt Gingrich "Entrepreneur of the Year" award, is back in the news again. On the heels of the Securities and Exchange Commission's porn-surfing scandal, the adult entertainment company has issued a plea to the agency to "Stop Wasting Our Tax Dollars -- Surf After Work."

Rather than simply curse the darkness, though, Pink lights a candle (and puts on some Al Green) by offering a way for government workers to get their porn fix, while keeping both hands free in the workplace. They'll have a chance to surf free Pink porn for a two-week trial period, as long as they do it before or after work. We contacted Pink to get the ins and outs of their special offer.

According to their press release, "Starting on May 5, new customers who sign up using a '.gov' email address will be given a free two-week trial to the company's flagship subscription website Pink Visual Pass, provided that the workers only use the site between 6 p.m. and 6 a.m."

Anyone who signs up will be denied access if they try to log on during the day.



Via

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May 08, 2010

Kittens for dinner

We haven't many cute animal items lately and Ms. M. says this clip is "Very cute."

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Happy Mother's Day 2010

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May 07, 2010

The Fab Faux

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We have no secrets

Rolando Negrin Beats MIA Co-Worker After His Genitals Are Exposed on Full-Body Scanner

Rolando Negrin was Miami International Airport's guinea pig during an employee training session on full-body scanning equipment last year. The machines have the unintended side effect of giving a rough determination of the size of things underneath your clothes. Apparently, Negrin didn't measure up (hey, maybe he's a grower, not a shower), and his co-workers teased him about his apparent shortcomings.

Negrin's rage brewed for about a year, and on Tuesday night, he snapped. He allegedly had a confrontation with a co-worker in an employee parking lot that night and proceeded to beat him with a baton. He told police "he could not take the jokes anymore and lost his mind.

Take it, Carly...

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Count your blessings (2)

Mary forwards a message that says, "Every day we have something to be thankful for."

BeThankful.jpg

"Today we are thankful that the photographer was not standing on the other side."

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A little girl's goldfish

An old joke now done up in a video.

H.T. Tucson John

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May 06, 2010

Building Florida One

An interesting time-lapse clip of building a Boeing.

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Ultimate ambigram

Ambigram.jpg

Via

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A miracle cure

Bucks County woman allegedly caught stripping in Wilson Borough after claiming she couldn't waitress

A Quakertown woman who allegedly worked the pole in Wilson Borough after claiming she couldn't wait tables in Bucks County is facing criminal charges.

Christina Gamble filed a workers compensation claim after falling Nov. 9, 2007, during a shift at Red Robin restaurant in Richland Township. Eight days after a doctor examined Gamble and declared her unfit to work because standing and changing positions would be painful, the 43-year-old was spotted stripping at CR Fannys, 1700 Butler St.

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A novel way to get around

Says Ms. M.

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May 04, 2010

Ouch! (3)

This is almost enough to make you feel sorry for Leno.

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Engrish sampler

The New York Times has an entertaining slideshow of signs from Shanghai (in what they call 'Chinglish').

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srsly (2)

Via

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Slider candle

Good news if you love that White Castle smell

Your heart burns for White Castle sliders? This product's for you.

The Ohio-based burger chain is selling a slider-scented candle throughout May to commemorate National Hamburger Month.

The white candle is packaged in a ceramic version of the cardboard White Castle sleeve.

Sales of the $10 candle, available at the stores and at houseofcrave.com, benefit Autism Speaks.

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May 03, 2010

The better marriage blanket

If you mother-in-law gives you one of these as a wedding present, you might have a problem.

Via

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A powerful prayer

At the end of his service a preacher said, "Anyone with a special need who wants to be prayed over, please come to the front by the altar."

With that, Leroy got in line and when it was his turn, the preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head and then prayed and prayed and prayed.

He prayed a blue streak for Leroy and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm. After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

"I don't know yet," answered Leroy. "It ain't 'til next week."

H.T. Rob

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Light illusion

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Live to ride to live, ride to... uh, wait

Not Even Death Can Stop Him From Riding

How much do you love riding? Probably not as much as this guy did. David Morales Colon, 22, was shot to death April 22 in Puerto Rico. For his wake, Colon was embalmed and mounted on his Honda CBR600F4i with full Repsol colors.

The work was performed by the Marin Funeral Home in San Juan, which also made headlines two years ago for presenting the embalmed body of Angel Luis "Pedrito" Pantojas Medina standing up in the corner for his own funeral.


EmbalmedRider.jpg

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May 01, 2010

Fisherman's special

Tucson John writes, "Perhaps a new option for my boat. Although I don't allow fishing on it, it might come in handy."

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Well, duh (3)

Jim Beam Found Drunk In Public: Police
Parolee Arrested At Sacramento City College

A parolee named Jim Beam was arrested at Sacramento City College on suspicion of being drunk in public and under the influence of narcotics, police said.

Seriously.

In addition to having a name that matches a well-known brand of Kentucky bourbon, 61-year-old Beam has also been known to go by the name John Wayne and other aliases, according to jail records.

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