September 30, 2011
Big storm at the big canyon
A real blast from the past.
Funnies from Edinburgh
Nick Helm's password joke is Edinburgh Fringe funniest
The up-and-coming funnyman was given the prize by digital TV channel Dave, whose panel put a selection of their favourites to a public vote. [...]
The top 10 festival funnies were judged to be:
1) Nick Helm: "I needed a password eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves."
3) Hannibal Buress: "People say 'I'm taking it one day at a time'. You know what? So is everybody. That's how time works."
5) Matt Kirshen: "I was playing chess with my friend and he said, 'Let's make this interesting'. So we stopped playing chess."
September 29, 2011
Cute idea... but why a Ford Explorer?
Totally, utterly mad
Markets in everything (13)
Are you tired of being embarrassed by the fact that you don't have a girlfriend? Do you wish that you could get interrupted by a loving phone-call during man time?
Let me introduce you to FakeGirlfriend.
How it Works
1 Save (212) 804-6979 to your phone under your "girlfriend's" name.
2 When you're out with your friends, send a text to the FakeGirlfriend number.
3 FakeGirlfriend will respond with a random girlfriend-esque message.
4 About a minute later, FakeGirlfriend will call you with a pre-recorded message.
5 After you hang up, tell everyone how great your "girlfriend" is.
Via Carpe Diem
September 28, 2011
How a Slinky falls
H.T. Paul B
In the cockpit
The Sjællands Symfoniorkester showed up at Copenhagen's Central Station last May, playing Ravel's Bolero. It's a little hard to imagine moving kettle drums just for that.
"Toe Suck Fairy" arrested on new charges
LITTLE ROCK, Ark (Reuters) - A man known in Arkansas as the "Toe Suck Fairy" for a series of 1990s assaults directed at women's feet was arrested after he struck again more than a decade later, police said.
Michael Robert Wyatt, 50, was arrested on Monday after two women identified him from a photo line-up as "the man who approached them in local stores commenting on their feet and asking to suck their toes," said LaTresha Woodruff, spokeswoman for the Conway Police Department.
One of the women described the man as having "really messed up toes."
September 27, 2011
Otro ladrillo en la pared
As performed by Mariachi Cabos at La Fogata in Chapin, SC.
Via American Digest
A building in An Hui Province, China
A loyal cat
Markets in everything (12)
Rent-A-Guinea Pig Service Takes Off in Switzerland
Swiss animal lover Priska Küng runs a kind of matchmaking agency -- for lonely guinea pigs that have lost their partners. She lives with around 80 of the furry, squeaky little creatures, in addition to six cats, a number of rabbits, hamsters and mice in the village of Hadlikon, some 30 kilometers from Zürich.
Küng, 41, rents out her guinea pigs, a service that has been in high demand in the Alpine nation ever since animal welfare rules were tightened up a few years ago. Switzerland has forbidden people from keeping lone guinea pigs because the animals are sociable and need each other's company.
As a result, the sudden death of a guinea pig, shocking enough in itself, can also place the hapless owners outside the law if they only had two of the pets.
September 26, 2011
Mario in a box
Via David Thompson
How to deliver bad news
Via American Digest
The undie run
Thousands run in underwear to protest Utah laws
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) -- Thousands of people stripped to their underwear and ran through Salt Lake City to protest what they called the "uptight" laws of Utah.
Undie Run organizer Nate Porter says the goal of the event Saturday was to organize people frustrated by the conservative nature of the state's politics.
September 24, 2011
Ojai Valley taxidermy
The ad above got so much attention he followed it with this short Thank You.
34 years of paint
Decorator turns baseball into world's largest ball of paint
Decorator Michael Carmichael decided to paint a baseball in January 1977. Since then he, his children and people from many other countries have applied 22,894 coats of paint to create the world's biggest paintball, which now weighs 1,587kg (3,500lb).
They stick to one golden rule. Each new coat has to be in a different colour from the last.
'It started as a relatively simple project and a bit of fun,' said Mr Carmichael.
'But I just kept on painting and painting and painting. And, before I knew it, it was enormous.
'Then I didn't want to stop. I moved it out of the garage a good few years ago after it outgrew it and now it has its own special shed.
'People come from all over the world to add a coat,' said the 64-year-old from Alexandria, Indiana.
'Sometimes I can add up to ten coats a day if the weather is dry but we've added at least one every day.'
paint ball First coat: Mr Carmichael's son Mike Jr started painting the baseball in 1977 (Picture: SWNS)
When he started, it had a 22.9cm (9in) circumference, now it is 179cm (70.58in) and officially recognised by Guinness World Records as the biggest recorded.
September 22, 2011
Or: how to get an 80' tall boat under a 65' high bridge.
Walmart cheering squad
Emptying the nest
Italian parents bring in lawyers to evict 41-year-old stay at home son
The elderly couple's patience with their grown-up offspring has finally run out after what they say is years of cooking him meals and washing and ironing his clothes.
They say the man has a perfectly good job and a steady income but has resisted all attempts to persuade him to fly the nest.
The couple, who have not been named, have taken their case to the legal department of an association for the defence of consumers' rights in Mestre, near Venice.
September 21, 2011
Via David Thompson
Play of the week
Burglar caught frying bacon in UCity kitchen
UNIVERSITY CITY • A burglar was frying bacon when a University City woman returned home and caught him in her kitchen, police say.
Police nabbed the man, who they believe is responsible for at least one other burglary in the area.
September 20, 2011
Yes, it does
Again with the funny signs
We haven't had any funny signs for a while. Here's a collection of 24.
Unexpected occupational hazard
Aaron Sorkin breaks his own nose -- while writing
Never accuse Aaron Sorkin of lacking dedication to his craft: The Academy Award-winning writer broke his nose while working on a script.
"I wish I could say I was in a bar fight," Sorkin told the Ministry on Friday at the Emmy Awards' performance nominees' reception in West Hollywood, "but I broke my nose writing."
Sorkin said he was working on a block of dialogue in the mirror when he accidentally head-butted himself. In addition to creating series including "The West Wing" and last year's "Social Network" film sensation, Sorkin has invented a new occupational hazard.
September 19, 2011
No sign of pullage
A time-lapse video taken from the ISS.
Drive-in sex stalls get Swiss green light
Zurich city parliament on Wednesday rubber-stamped a loan earmarked for the construction of drive-in sex stalls where punters can meet prostitutes at purpose-built venues away from the city centre. [...]
Ten garage-like booths will be erected on derelict land in an industrial area in Alstetten, complete with parking spaces and alarm buttons. The so-called "performance stalls" will be the first of their kind in Switzerland if the project goes ahead.
The city council agreed last week to sanction the 2.4-million franc ($2.8m) loan for the development pending parliamentary approval.
September 16, 2011
In Saturn's shadow
This is about 5 years old now but it's still striking. It's a composite of photos taken by Cassini over a few hours; multi-megapixel original here.
Via David Thompson
Here's a truly heartwarming story about the bond formed between a little 5-year-old girl and some construction workers that will make you believe that we all can make a difference when we give a child the gift of our time.
A young family moved into a house, next to a vacant lot. One day, a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
The young family's 5-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and spent much of each day watching the workers.
Eventually the construction crew, all of them "gems-in-the-rough" more or less, adopted her as a kind of project mascot. They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important.
At the end of the first week, they even presented her with a pay envelope containing ten dollars. The little girl took this home to her mother who suggested that she take the ten dollars "pay" she'd received to the bank to start a savings account.
When the girl and her mom got to the bank, the teller was equally impressed and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, "I worked last week with a real construction crew building the new house next door to us."
"Oh my goodness," said the teller. "And will you be working on the house again this week, too?"
The little girl replied, "I will if those assholes at Lowe's ever deliver the damned sheet rock..."
H.T. Bill F
September 15, 2011
Get out and enjoy nature
Here's 1 of 14 funny pictures about animals dealing with people.
H.T. Bill F
Irony update (4)
This is a reader contribution to Best of the Web Today, sent in by David Schlosser. (It's the last item.)
In 2006, I was the Libertarian candidate for Arizona's First Congressional District, running against the soon-to-be-convicted incumbent Republican, Rick Renzi.
I had spent a semester teaching at the NAU School of Communication, which was located in a fabulous new building with a stunning entry designated The First Amendment Plaza. The First Amendment was carved into a giant stainless steel sign that overlooked the amphitheater-style entrance to the building. I thought it would be a perfect place for a Libertarian to announce his run for national office, and called the school's director to schedule the space for my kickoff event.
He informed me that political speech is not permitted at The First Amendment Plaza.
H.T. Jeff G
September 13, 2011
Jumpin' Jack Flash
Hot and dry
The Big Picture has 45 pix of the effects of the 10-month drought and the recent wildfires in Texas.
A cryogenic tank from the Space Shuttle Columbia was discovered in an evaporating lake bed on the shoreline of Lake Nacogdoches in east Texas, part of debris from the 2003 Columbia disaster, on August 3, 2011. (NASA/Nagodoches Police Department/Reuters)
Today's PSA (6)
The old trouser eel
Eel removed from man's bladder after entering penis during beauty spa
Zhang Nan was bathing with live eels to cleanse his skin when one rogue serpent took a liking to his manhood.
Eel swims up penis China removed urethral trauma G. Vezhaventhan Abdominal Ultrasonogram Foreign object: The dead eel is placed next to the surgical tool used to remove it from Zhang Nan's bladder (Picture: CEN)
The eel treatment in question is a similar concept to the popular London spas that offer fish pedicures.
Thinking that the eels would make him look ten years younger, Nan dived into the water and let them feast upon layers of dead skin.
But after laying in the spa bath, Nan felt a sharp pain and realised a small eel was working its way up his urethra and into his bladder.
September 09, 2011
Aguas de Março
Danilo sends a link to this nice rendition of Waters of March. It's a bossa nova song composed by Antonio Carlos (Tom) Jobim, who's performing it here.
What your groceries say about you
This is 1 of 6.
What Your Groceries Say About You
Whenever I'm in the grocery store, I always tend to look at someone's cart and then immediately make a judgement about that person based on the contents of it. I think Webster's dictionary defines that as "Being an judgmental asshole," but so be it. Anyway, after one such trips to the grocery store I went home and fired up the ole' photoshop machine and did this.
H.T. Jeff G
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing (2)
I believe this clip comes from the movie Swing Girls.
Cuban man '24' proud of his 4 extra fingers, toes
BARACOA, Cuba (AP) — They call him "Twenty-Four."
Yoandri Hernandez Garrido's nickname comes from the six perfectly formed fingers on each of his hands and the six impeccable toes on each foot.
Hernandez is proud of his extra digits and calls them a blessing, saying they set him apart and enable him to make a living by scrambling up palm trees to cut coconuts and posing for photographs in this eastern Cuban city popular with tourists. One traveler paid $10 for a picture with him, Hernandez said, a bonanza in a country with an average salary of just $20 a month.
"It's thanks to my 24 digits that I'm able to make a living, because I have no fixed job," Hernandez said.
September 06, 2011
Food at the fair
H.T. Jeff G
If you're old enough, you'll get this joke.
Cat & mouse
Great price but, man, is it slow
South Carolina woman scammed thinking she bought iPad - but turned out to be block of wood
There's no app for that - but maybe a saw would help.
A South Carolina woman claims she purchased what she thought was an iPad, but it turned out to just be a block of painted wood with an Apple logo.
Ashley McDowell, 22, told officers from the Spartanburg County Sheriff's office that she was in a McDonald's parking lot Monday night when two men approached her and offered to sell her the glitzy tablet computer.
September 04, 2011
A nicely animated clip about Legos.
September 02, 2011
In his own way.
Terry Border makes these small sculptures from wire and food (mostly). You can find more at his Bent Objects blog.
And if those pique your interest, you can find still more at Really Bent (The more graphic, black sheep cousin of Bent Objects). (His description.)
Don't blink (2)
Don't mess with Alaskans
Woman punches bear to save her dog
Black bears in residential neighborhoods aren't exactly unheard of in Juneau. While many people stay inside when bears are about, one local woman says she had a different instinct when she saw her dog was in trouble.
It started out as a typical evening for 22-year-old Brooke Collins. She let her dogs out as usual but this time, she said there was a black bear outside who took hold of her dachshund Fudge. She said she feared for her pet's life and, in an instant, ran over and punched the bear right in the face to make it let go.
Via The Agitator
September 01, 2011
What a rush (3)
More wingsuit madness.
Via David Thompson
Putting it all together
Conspiracy Theories Illustrated Using Plastic Model Kits. This is 1 of 5.
Any landing you can walk away from
How to have an affordable wedding
Police: Pa. newlyweds shoplifted reception food
CENTRE HALL, Pa. (AP) — A couple of Pennsylvania newlyweds are behind bars after police say they were caught shoplifting food from a supermarket for their wedding reception.
The Centre Daily Times reports 32-year-old Arthur Phillips III and his bride, 22-year-old Brittany Lurch, were arrested Saturday after taking more than $1,000 in merchandise from a Wegmans supermarket in State College.