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October 31, 2011

Jack-o-doodle

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October 30, 2011

Quite a light show

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Great costume concept

But I wonder how well it wears.

Magritte-son-of-man-costume.jpg

From Reddit

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Singing Jack-o-lanterns

What an oldie. 1962 -- nearly 50 years ago.

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Hallowe'en PSA

Now that you're an adult, do the kids a favor and be like this person.

Halloween-PSA.jpg

Source

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October 29, 2011

Like father, like son

Jack Buck calls Kirby Puckett's game winning home run in game six of the 1991 World Series (October 26, 1991).

Exactly 20 years later, his son makes the exact same call

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Pop quiz

Random-answer-quiz.jpg

Source (via Coyote blog)

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October 28, 2011

Twisted

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Idle hands

toilet-origami.jpg

Source

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Skip a rope

Reminds me of this song.

Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog for Boys

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The smell of old electrons

The smell of e-books just got better

Does your Kindle leave you feeling like there's something missing from your reading experience?

Have you been avoiding e-books because they just don't smell right? [...]

But all of that is changing thanks to Smell of Books™, a revolutionary new aerosol e-book enhancer.

Via Carpe Diem

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October 27, 2011

Don't believe anything you see in video

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Company policy

Frenchmen-and-dogs.jpg

Source

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Don't mess with a crab

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Looking for work, ladies?

Earn $2,000 a night as a boomtown stripper

Kit, a 36-year old stripper who has been dancing for 10 years in places like Las Vegas, Texas and California, first started coming to Williston a few years ago in between higher-paying jobs, because she had friends who danced in the town who were able to hook her up with gigs. [...]

"We make more than doctors," she said. "Back in the day, it was hard to make $200 a night. It was like pulling teeth. Now you can pull in $2,000 a night."


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October 26, 2011

Ocean sky

A nicely done time-lapse HD video of the night sky over Australia's southern coast. Try it in full-screen mode.

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Age test (2)

Pen-and-cassette.jpg

Via American Digest

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Proper planning

Someone remembers the 7 Ps

Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog for Boys

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You can eat armadillos?

Man Allegedly Beat Woman with Frozen Armadillo

DALLAS - A man used a frozen armadillo to attack a 57-year old Pleasant Grove woman, Dallas police said.

The incident happened on Sept. 29 in an apartment complex parking lot.

According to investigators, the altercation occurred when the suspect was selling the carcass to the victim, who planned to eat the animal.

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October 25, 2011

What a show

One of several videos at YouTube showing the Northern Lights from yesterday's unusual solar storm.

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Clever window sign

Shoot-the-kids.jpg

Source

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Bounce!

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Paraprosdokians

Jeff G forwarded an amusing message about this; googling turned up a longer version at Monty Pelerin's World. These are the first 5 of his list of 182.

182 Paraprosdokians

One of the more popular posts I put up was on paraprosdokians. For those who don't know, a parprosdokian is a sentence which consists of two parts. The first is a figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first. One definition that works is the following:

Paraprosdokian is a figure of speech, which little known by the general public, but is well understood by satirsts. The key feature is that the final words make the listener reinterpret the first part of the sentence.

Additional paraprosdokians and near-paraprosdokians can be found at the above definition link.

Paraprosdokians are used typically for humorous or dramatic effect. Here is a list, some of which might have been included in the original post. I don't have attribution for many.

  1. I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
  2. Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
  3. I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
  4. Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
  5. The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.

  6. Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    October 24, 2011

    Time-lapse flowers

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    Not found

    Road-not-found.jpg

    Source

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    Ready for Hallowe'en

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    It's hard to argue with the scientific method

    From Britain's The Sun, originators of the "Page 3" topless-female-photo feature.

    Test assesses best breasts

    A DOCTOR has worked out what makes the perfect boobs — after carefully analysing 100 of our Page 3 girls.

    Plastic surgeon Patrick Mallucci identified four key features during a three-month study.

    First, the part of the boob lying below the nipple was ten per cent fuller than that above it — like those of Page 3 Hollie and model Kelly Brook. [See image at the site. - jdj]

    Next, the nipples themselves were angled upwards at 20 degrees.

    Finally the skin sloped flatly or inward above the nipple, and curved outwards below it.

    Dr Mallucci explained: "The nipple meridian — a horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple — lay at a point such that the proportion of the breast above it was 45 per cent and below 55 per cent."

    Posted by joke du jour at 06:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    October 21, 2011

    Fling!

    In Hobble Creek Canyon, Utah.

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    Soup of the day

    Soup-of-the-day.jpg

    Source

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    Now that's a smart phone

    CubeStormer II solves the Rubik's Cube puzzle faster than the human world record.

    This ARM Powered robot was designed, built and programmed by Mike Dobson and David Gilday, creators respectively of CubeStormer http://youtu.be/eaRcWB3jwMo and Android Speedcuber http://youtu.be/ylFb4pqAUd8.

    The mechanics are constructed entirely from LEGO, including four MINDSTORMS NXT kits, with the addition of a Samsung Galaxy S II smartphone running a custom Android app as the robot's brain. Both the MINDSTORMS NXT kits and the Samsung Galaxy SII use a variety of ARM --based processors.

    Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Hate your job? (3)

    I once rode a train in Egypt that had this type of plumbing (I was surprised to find).

    Excrement and urine shower Zurich tunnel workers

    Construction workers at the main railway station in Zurich have issued an ultimatum to rail operator SBB, threatening to stop working if excrement continues to fall from the ceiling of an alleyway they are building.

    The problem derives from the fact that some of the old carriages on Swiss trains use toilets that deposit faeces directly onto the tracks. The human waste usually stays in place until it dries or the rain washes it away.

    But an exception occurs whenever someone uses the toilets on trains stopped at Zurich station.

    Construction workers operating below tracks 10,11,12,13,15 and 16 have reported receiving frequent faecal showers from cracks in the ceiling of the passageway where they are working.

    Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    October 20, 2011

    It's Carlsberg time

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Cool hot air

    27 Awesome Hot Air Balloons

    Wedding-cake-balloon.jpg

    Via Maggie's Farm

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    Hidden talent

    Who knew?

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    OK, but whose?

    Taiwanese woman finds out she has testicles

    (THE STAR/ASIA NEWS NETWORK) - Sin Chew Daily reported that a Taiwanese woman was shocked when a gynaecologist told her that she had testicles.

    The woman, 34, decided to consult a specialist after experiencing pain in her genital area.

    It was her first time seeking treatment from a gynaecologist although she had never experienced menstruation in her life.

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    October 19, 2011

    Landscapes

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    Translation provided

    Regret-tattoo.jpg

    Source

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    Jump!

    A little profanity makes this NSFW. Mind the volume.

    Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog for Boys

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    Only in Japan (5)

    Pictures at the link (and a list of 'quirky innovations).

    "Poop As You Go" Biogas Bike To Go On 600 Mile Tour Of Japan

    Never dreamed poop could get you blazing down the asphalt? Well, now it all comes true as Japan's biggest toilet maker, TOTO, takes the toilet on the road with its launch of the Toilet Bike Neo, a bike that's powered entirely by human waste. The bike runs on biogas converted from feces that is harvested directly from the driver -- who sits on the bike's toilet-styled seat. It gives a new twist to "poop as you go," but that's not the only quirky innovation that this bike will feature.

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    October 18, 2011

    Quantum locking

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    Labrador love

    Labrador-love.jpg

    Source

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    Hallowe'en's coming

    Amusing... but I'd have no interest in wearing one.

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Never mind

    Police: Man impersonating cop pulls over real cop

    Police say a New Mexico man pretending to be police officer pulled over a real Albuquerque Police Department detective and is facing charges.

    KOB-TV reports ( http://bit.ly/qRna9O) that Tyree Appleberry was given the citation Wednesday on charges of impersonating a police officer then arrested for an outstanding warrant.

    According to police, the 42-year-old turned on his strobe lights on his white Chevy Tahoe in an attempt to stop a driver, who turned out to be an undercover officer..

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    October 14, 2011

    Boys will be boys (2)

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    What a great sign

    Just-your-opinion.jpg

    Source

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    Ware the bottles!

    Via The Daily What

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    Answers for any question

    Family Googled 'easiest way to kill an old person' before trying to murder 89-year-old grandfather

    A British family Googled "the easiest way to kill an old person" before attempting to murder their 89-year-old relative for inheritance, authorities said.

    The elderly victim's adopted daughter, his 16-year-old granddaughter and 19-year-old grandson have been convicted of conspiracy to murder in an English court. [...]

    The family researched the possibility of poisoning the man with toadstools but then opted for attempting to "frighten him to death" by throwing bricks at his window late at night, prosecutors said.

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    October 13, 2011

    His winter

    Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog for Boys

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    Extreme jacuzzi

    Extreme-jacuzzi.jpg
    A group of 25 extreme jacuzzi enthusiasts have a soak suspended 150 metres above the ground from the New Gueuroz bridge in Switzerland. The event took about 2,500 hours to plan and a further six hours to assemble – all for 2.5 hours in the tub

    Source


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    Extreme unicycle

    Via David Thompson

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    How... um... convenient

    Dutch trains substitute plastic bags for bathrooms

    AMSTERDAM — The Dutch national railway has an unusual solution for passengers who need the bathroom on a train line designed without them: plastic bags.

    The rail operator underlined that the bags, introduced Friday, are for use in emergencies only, when a train has stopped and passengers can't be evacuated. The idea has been met with incredulity by politicians and the general public already unhappy with the short-haul "Sprinter" trains' bathroomless design.

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    October 12, 2011

    Bug power

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    Seriously cute

    Mouse-with-flower.jpg

    Source

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    The banned promo

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    The headline writer couldn't resist

    Stoner arrested for alleged possession of marijuana

    Daniel Stoner, 26, was arrested early Friday for possession of cocaine and marijuana.

    Bloomington Police Department Lt. Bill Parker said a foot patrol officer first noticed Stoner and two others sitting on a step in an alleyway on the south side of Brothers Bar and Grill. The officer thought he saw the men passing around marijuana, so he approached the group. He reportedly saw a bag of marijuana and a glass pipe.

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    October 11, 2011

    Honk War

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    Think quick

    Guess-the-millionaire.jpg

    H.T. Jeff G

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    More Einstein the parrot

    The Discovery Channel's Animal Planet had a video that was featured here 6 ½ years ago. Here's a different video of this parrot going through her paces at the Knoxville zoo.

    H.T. Mary

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Only two weeks left

    Canada's Best Restroom 2011

    The finalists have been chosen! Voting ends October 24th and the winner will be announced this fall!

    Sometimes the using the restroom can be quite the memorable experience. Establishments can have facilities that make you want to return or never come back. The Canada's Best Restroom contest is a great way to celebrate and promote business and bring recognition to your favourite establishments. Cintas will crown the 2nd Annual Canada's Best Restroom King of the Throne this fall!

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    October 10, 2011

    Prop biker

    You gotta love the flashing light on the helmet. Nice touch.

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Street art

    Made by TSF Crew.

    Tree-graffito.jpg

    Source

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    Make up your mind

    Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

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    The bare facts

    Naked ex-postman superglues himself to desk in Job Centre protest

    Ian Robinson, 43, had to leave his job after developing arthritis, but the authorities have ruled he is not entitled to disability benefits and he must now try to survive on Jobseeker's Allowance.

    Mr Robinson decided to demonstrate how angry he was about the decision by staging a bizarre protest in front of shocked staff at Bridlington Job Centre.

    'When I started taking my clothes off, a man said "You can't do that in here", so I went over and glued myself to his desk. Nobody tried to stop me, it was too late by that point,' he told the Yorkshire Post.

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    October 08, 2011

    It sure sounds nice

    A nice cover of a Beach Boys tune from 1966. And it doesn't hurt that Ms Pidgeon has such a charming smile.

    Via Sippican Cottage

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    Autumn in Colorado

    Autumn-in-Colorado.jpg

    Source

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    October 07, 2011

    Personal best

    ,

    Via TYWKIWDBI

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    Tough call

    Fountain-of-bacon.jpg

    Source

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    Потап и Настя Каменских - Лето

    Whatever that means.

    Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog for Boys

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    Sounds like it worked

    Man's Halloween Decorations Prompt 911 Call

    SALISBURY, N.C. -- No one was harmed in the making of this Halloween decoration.

    But the Salisbury Post reported Tuesday that the roadside attraction was realistic enough for at least one 911 caller to report what looked like a grisly accident.

    It actually was the harmless creation of a man with a vivid imagination and a broken lawnmower.

    Chris Deaton made the decoration, which shows what appears to be a body with bloodstained jeans trapped under the blades of a riding mower. The victim seems to be taking it well, though, as he's holding a can of beer.

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    October 06, 2011

    Well played! (3)

    Another epic proposal

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Ever wonder?

    How Weird Al would raise a child? Heh.

    Weird-Al-Birds-n-Bees.jpg

    Source

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Wordwork

    Another example here.

    Via David Thompson

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    A letter from the queen

    Bill F forwards an amusing e-mail.

    To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II

    In light of your immediate failure to financially manage yourselves and also in recent years your tendency to elect incompetent Presidents of the USA and therefore not able to govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the revocation of your independence, effective immediately. (You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary.)

    Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories (except Kansas, which she does not fancy).

    Your new Prime Minister, David Cameron, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.

    Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated sometime next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

    To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:

    1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').


    2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as ''like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
    3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
    4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you can't sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you're not ready to shoot grouse.
    5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
    6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
    7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
    8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
    9. The cold, tasteless stuff you insist on calling beer is not actually beer at all. Henceforth, only proper British Bitter will be referred to as beer, and European brews of known and accepted provenance will be referred to as Lager. New Zealand beer is also acceptable, as New Zealand is pound for pound the greatest sporting nation on earth and it can only be due to the beer. They are also part of the British Commonwealth - see what it did for them. American brands will be referred to as Near-Frozen Gnat's Urine, so that all can be sold without risk of further confusion.
    10. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
    11. You will cease playing American football. There are only two kinds of proper football; one you call soccer, and rugby (dominated by the New Zealanders). Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies).
    12. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians (World dominators) first to take the sting out of their deliveries.
    13. You must tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us mad.
    14. An Revenue and Customs agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the acquisition of all monies due (backdated to 1776).
    15. Daily Tea Time begins promptly at 4 p.m. with proper cups, with saucers, and never mugs, with high quality biscuits (cookies) and cakes; plus strawberries (with cream) when in season.

    God Save the Queen!

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    October 05, 2011

    A good dog

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:34 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Nicely done

    Arty-cappuccino.jpg

    Source

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:33 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Thin to win

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Killer curry

    Pair in hospital after Kismot 'killer' curry contest

    Two people have been taken to hospital following the "world's hottest chilli" competition at an Edinburgh Indian restaurant.

    Emergency services were called to the Kismot restaurant in St Leonards Street on Saturday afternoon after some competitors became "very unwell".

    The competition involves people eating the "Kismot Killer" curry. [...]

    On the restaurant's website it insists that participants sign a legal disclaimer before taking part in the competition, which raises money for the Scottish children's charity Chas.

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:31 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    October 04, 2011

    Gives a whole new meaning to 'sideman'

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Better than one

    Life has 15 images in a slideshow of two-headed animals.

    Two-headed-lizard.jpg

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    Like a boss

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    There are worse places to be stranded

    Family rescued from Studland nudist beach as boat sinks

    A family had to be rescued after their boat began sinking and they became stranded on a nudist beach in Dorset. [...]

    A spokeswoman for RNLI said: "Unfortunately for them the nearest bit of land though was in the middle of the naturist beach at Studland.

    "Apart from being shaken [the family was] okay.

    "But the children had the additional trauma of the surroundings so they were taken onboard the inshore lifeboat and distracted from the scene."

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    October 03, 2011

    Clever

    Via Sippican Cottage (who makes wooden furniture)

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:04 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    The eagle has landed

    Eagle-has-landed.jpg

    Source

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    Enough already

    A clever bit of geekery

    Via David Thompson

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

    How to impress your date

    Man shoots self on first date

    CHARLOTTE, N.C., Sept. 29 (UPI) -- Police in North Carolina said a couple's first date was interrupted when a man accidentally shot himself in a parking garage.

    Charlotte police said the couple returned to the man's car after eating Tuesday at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse on Fairview Road and the man's gun, which was in the car, somehow went off and shot the man, The Charlotte Observer reported Wednesday.

    Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack