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May 31, 2012

With Merle again

Guitar legend Doc Watson dies at N.C. hospital, representative says.

Here's one of Doc's numbers that I've always liked. I won't call it my favorite because it would be hard to pick a favorite among all the many songs he recorded.

(Title ref.)

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That would do it

Five will get you ten there's a lot more behind this report.

icy-hot-divorce.jpg

Source

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Nice catch! (7)

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Fandom for sale

Buy a group of Belgian soccer fans to root for your country during euro 2012

For sale: Belgian soccer fans for euro 2012. Second hand but mint condition. Not been used since Fifa World Cup 2002.

Once again we Belgians have no team to root for at the euro 2012 soccer championship. Since tournaments are much more fun when you have a favourite team, we decided to put our fandom for sale at ebay.
All profits will be sent directly to Unicef.

What is for sale:
During Euro 2012, all members of this facebookgroup:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/414750861890585/

will root for the national soccer team of the highest bidder, or the national team of his choice.

Via Carpe Diem

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May 30, 2012

TGFB (11)

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Space cowboy diagram

The funniest Venn diagram I've ever seen

venn-space-cowboy.jpg

Source

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Birthday surprise

Luckily, no one was injured.

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The war on Cheetos

Mexican Cartel Declares War on Cheetos

Mexican drug cartels are not strictly drug cartels. One of their fastest-growing markets is extortion of private citizens and businesses. Don't pay, and you can be threatened — or worse. But largely, the cartels target small businesses and individuals, and stay away from the larger industries. Now several arson attacks over the weekend against a Mexican snack chip subsidiary might be the first time the cartels have targeted a multinational corporation.

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May 29, 2012

Siri learns to tell a joke (really)

This one's a big improvement over the rather lame original.

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Flame on, bro

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Source

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Looks like a thrill a minute

This is just the opener - not the entire movie.

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A quick thinker

An elderly man in Louisiana owned a large farm with a large pond on it. The pond was well shaped for swimming, and he'd fixed it up nice with picnic tables and barbecue pits, and he'd planted some trees for shade.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond and look for frogs, as he hadn’t been gigging for a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to carry the frogs in.

As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. When he made the women aware of his presence, they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, "We’re not coming out until you leave!"

The old man frowned, "I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond."

Holding the bucket up he said, "I’m just here to feed the alligator."

Via Bits & Pieces

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May 27, 2012

This one's for Alex French

The person who posted this picture at imgur wrote:

My friend said that a guy came into her work, bought two beers, asked for a pen, drank one, and left a full beer with this note.

Here's an obituary notice for Staff Sgt. French in the Military Times.

One-for-Alex.jpg

Evidently, Sergeant French's memorialist isn't alone. Here's an interesting report from Dallas about similar events.

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Memorial Day 2012

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H.T. Mary

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May 25, 2012

Quite an ad

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Ultimate chick flick

ultimate-chick-flick.gif

Source

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Another rock o' cute

(If you like cats, that is.)

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Everybody likes beer

Police say roving Mass. cows drank some brews

BOXFORD, Mass.—Police in Boxford say a roving group of cows crashed a small gathering in town and bullied the guests for their beer.

Boxford Police Lieutenant James Riter said he was responding to call for loose cows on Sunday and spotted them in a front yard on Main Street.

Riter says the herd soon high-tailed it for the backyard, and then he heard screaming.

He says when he ran back there, he saw the cows had chased off some young adults and were drinking their beers.

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May 24, 2012

What to do with an image collection

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Choose carefully

Fathers-choice.gif

Source

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More pratfalls

"Darwin is alive and well..." says Jeff G

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Put the camera down real slow

Connecticut Cop Arrested After Pulling Gun On Cop Who Photographed Him

Fellow officers thought it would be funny to photograph David Davis, a Connecticut railroad police officer, sleeping at his desk while on shift.

They probably didn't expect Davis to wake up, pull out his gun and point at the officer who had just taken his picture.

"No one's taking pictures today," Davis told John Freeman. [...]

The incident took place in February. He [Davis] was arrested Friday.

Davis, 51, a Metro-North Railroad police officer, is now facing first-degree reckless endangerment charges.

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May 23, 2012

Chuteless

No guts, no glory.

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And they're off

A nice long-exposure shot of the yesterday's SpaceX launch.

Space-X-launch.gif

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At last! (3)

Shake and shake the catsup bottle
None will come, and then a lot'll

Via The Daily What

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Never mind...

From the Post-Dispatch:

Never mind! Robber changes her mind at Richmond Heights bank

RICHMOND HEIGHTS • A woman who tried to rob the Commerce Bank at 7910 Clayton Road over the weekend apparently changed her mind midway through the robbery attempt, grabbing her demand note and leaving the bank without money, police said.

The woman walked in about 9:50 a.m. Saturday and handed a note to the teller which indicated she wanted money and that she had a gun. But the woman became impatient after handing over the note, police said, retrieving it and walking out of the lobby.

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May 22, 2012

A real baller

Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys

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At Bikini Atoll

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Source

(Video)

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What a pass!

Via TYWKIWDBI

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The real estate market's warming up

The $1 million parking space
Only in New York, kids . . .

You'll need a trunk full of cash to park here.

The city's first million-dollar parking space is on the market.

The private garage at 66 E. 11th St. costs six times more than the national-average price of a single-family home.

Buying it would be the same as paying a $115 ticket for illegal parking every day — for 24 years. [...]

The hot space is about 12 feet wide, 23 feet long and more than 15 feet high.

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May 21, 2012

Three reasons

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TGFB (10)

DIY-BLT.jpg

Source

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Time-lapse eclipse

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Open wide

I assume the rapid effect is due to inhaling the spray.

The binge drinking machine? Mouth spray that gets you drunk in seconds - but you sober up just as fast

A new gadget is designed to get people drunk INSTANTLY.

The makers claim, however, that the 'harm' is limited, because you sober up equally rapidly.

The alcohol is delivered via an aerosol spray, so people feel briefly drunk, then sober up.

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May 18, 2012

Chalk warfare

Via The Daily What

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Today's PSA (7)

Due-to-violence.jpg

Source

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Meerkats

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Redneck Lent

Each Friday night after work, Bubba would fire up his outdoor grill and cook a venison steak. But all of Bubba's neighbors were Catholic. And since it was Lent they were forbidden from eating meat on Friday.

The delicious aroma from the grilled venison steaks was causing such a problem for the Catholic faithful that they finally talked to their priest. So the priest paid a visit to Bubba and suggested that he become a Catholic too.

After several classes and much study, Bubba attended his first Mass. As the priest sprinkled holy water over Bubba, he said, "You were born a Baptist and raised a Baptist but now you are a Catholic."

Bubba's neighbors were greatly relieved... until the next Friday night arrived and the wonderful aroma of grilled venison filled the neighborhood again.

The priest was called immediately by the neighbors. He rushed into Bubba's yard, clutching a rosary and prepared to scold him, but he stopped and watched in amazement.

There stood Bubba clutching a small bottle of holy water which he was carefully sprinkling over the grilling meat while chanting, "You wuz born a deer and raised a deer, but now you is a catfish."

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May 17, 2012

A nice touch

I wonder how many bottles it took to develop it.

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An unusual residence

Renovated Church Home in Kyloe, Northumberland

A nondescript exterior and a yard dominated by headstones give no indication of the residential nature of this historic church in Kyloe, Northumberland. A couple decided to purchase and readapt the structure, investing nearly three times the purchase price into renovations over the course of several years.

Renovated-church.jpg

Via Maggie's Farm

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Extreme enough?

Mary sends a link to this clip. I don't believe it, but I found it pretty amusing.

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What a headline (8)

Seattle Times: ‘With Dicks In,’ Congressional Dems Favor Gay Marriage Ban Repeal

The copy editing team at the Seattle Times either had too much or not enough time on their hands this afternoon, when they ran with the headline: “With Dicks in, all 6 WA congressional Democrats favor repeal of gay-marriage ban.” The reference was to Rep. Norm Dicks (D-WA) who had just announced his support for the repeal of the state’s prohibition on gay marriage, but the effect of that headline was something quite different from what the Seattle Times had intended.

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May 16, 2012

Another clever ad

For Flying Horse

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When I was younger

when-i-was-younger.jpg

Source

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Bzzt! Thanks for playing

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Tell us what you really think

A Midsummer Night’s Clusterfuck

If you’re a Shakespeare virgin as either an actor or an audience member, A Midsummer Night’s Dream is the ideal place to start. The language is not intimidating or difficult, and it’s so filled with simple mischief and delight that it’s as close to foolproof as any play ever written. I’ve seen amateur productions of Midsummer that were at least winningly buoyant, and some were even unforgettable, maybe because it’s partly conceived as a send-up of amateur players. And now I’ve seen something I never thought I’d see, a star-studded production of Midsummer at Classic Stage (through May 20) that turns this most charming and actable of all Shakespeare plays into a disaster area of poor ideas and incoherent intentions, an extended agony of directorial and design malfeasance.

Via Samizdata

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May 15, 2012

Ruined by lawyers

Entirely believable

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Pimp your ride (2)

Claimed to be from the Camel Haircut competition in Bikaner, India.

camel-haircut.jpg

Source

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How Real Men shoot skeet

Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys

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An etiquette lesson

Have you ever felt like strangling one of those loud-mouthed cell phone users who seem to sit near you in a restaurant or other place and then shares their private call with you?

Here’s a solution provided by a commuter on how to combat this display of bad manners.

After a very busy day, this woman settled down in her seat and closed her eyes as the train departed Montreal for Hudson.

As the train rolled out of the station, the guy sitting next to her pulled out his cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: “Hi sweetheart it’s Eric. I’m on the train... Yes, I know it’s the 6:30 and not the 4:30 but I had a long meeting... No, honey, not with that floozie from the accounts office, with the boss... No sweetheart, you’re the only one in my life... Yes, I’m sure, cross my heart..." and so forth.

Fifteen minutes later, he was still talking loudly. So our resourceful commuter - obviously angered by his continuous conversation - yelled at the top of her voice, ”Hey, Eric, turn that stupid phone off and come back to bed!”

Via Bits & Pieces

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May 14, 2012

They act so natural

At a zoo in the Netherlands.

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Too much pier pressure

Photo before prom leaves Wisconsin students drenched

Wisconsin-prom-disaster.jpg

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Two Men and ½ A Truck

The interesting thing to me is that someone has a site - 11foot8.com - dedicated to these mishaps.

Via The Sociopathic Blog For Boys

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We're gonna party like it's 2013

New Mayan Calendar Discovered That Doesn't End in 2012

Archeologists have unearthed what they say is the oldest known version of the Mayan calendar and one that doesn't "end" with the Earth's destruction later this year. Yeah, you're welcome.

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May 12, 2012

Thanks, Mom

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Six generations

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Six Generations of Daughters – From Baby to 111-Year-Old Great, Great, Great Grandmother

A Virginia family will have a lot of moms to fuss over this Mother’s Day.

The family has an astonishing six generations of daughters still living. The matriarch of the family, Mollie Wood, was born in 1901 and just marked her 111th birthday. The youngest addition to the family, Braylin Marie Higgins, was born in March to Wood’s great, great, great granddaughter.

Via Laughing Squid

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May 11, 2012

High five!

Via The Daily What

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Negative space

Negative Space sculpture

Negative-space-sculpture.jpg

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Check this kid out

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Our tax dollars at work

This Is Not a Joke: Government Issues Study of a Study About Studies

The Pentagon was inundated with so many studies in 2010 that it commissioned a study to determined how much it cost to produce all those studies.

Now the Government's Accounting Office has reviewed the Pentagon's study and concluded in a report this week that it's a flop.

The study of a study of studies began in 2010 when Defense Secretary Robert Gates complained that his department was "awash in taskings for reports and studies." He wanted to know how much they cost.

Two years later, the Pentagon review is still continuing, which prompted Congress to ask the GAO to look over the Pentagon's shoulder. What they found lacked military precision.

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May 10, 2012

Labor reparations

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Guess who

14 Photographs That Shatter Your Image of Famous People

Young-alex-trebeck.jpg

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Slo-mo popcorn

About as exciting as, well, watching corn pop.

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Hell hath no fury (4)

Chew Cheating Rat

A jilted dentist who pulled out all her boyfriend's teeth after he dumped her for another woman is facing three years in jail in Wroclaw, Poland.

Anna Mackowiak, 34, was astonished when just days after breaking up with her, Marek Olszewski, 45, turned up at her surgery complaining of tooth ache.

"I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions.

"But when I saw him lying there I just thought, 'What a bastard' and decided to take all his teeth out," she admitted.

After putting him to sleep with a heavy dose of anesthetic, the spurned dentist locked the door and then began plucking his teeth out one by one.

Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

Update:The L.A. Times says, "Story about scorned dentist appears to be a hoax"

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May 09, 2012

Venice in a day

Via The Agitator

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Britain from above

Here's a nice slideshow of aerial photography at The Telegraph.

Britain-from-above.jpg
Old Sarum was an iron age hill fort dating back 5000 years and the site of Salisbury's first cathedral. (Britain from Above: Month by Month published by Dorling Kindersley. Picture: Jason Hawkes)

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Hover Car

Thanks goodness for the subtitles.

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Lost or stolen or strayed

Hundreds of 5-year-old municipal vehicles found in Miami that were never used

Have you ever bought a brand new cars only to forget where you put it? How about 300 of them? Probably not – unless you're Miami-Dade County, which was recently reunited with 298 vehicles it bought brand new between 2006 and 2007.

The county "discovered" this fleet of no-mileage vehicles after reading about them in a Spanish-language newspaper there (see the source for more images). Most of the misplaced motorcade is made up of Toyota Prius hybrids whose warranties either expired with very few miles on the odo or will very soon.

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May 08, 2012

What a ride (3)

Nevada issues Google first license for self-driving car.

What I want to know is: whose name is on the license?

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Pressure-washed graffiti

Moss-graffiti.gif
Ethical Graffiti: Pressure-Washing Moss to Make Art

Most street artists add to the urban environment to make a statement. But Stefaan de Croock takes away instead: he uses a pressure washer to carve graffiti into the natural dirt and growth that cover our cityscapes, and the results are quite amazing.

Moss has a tendency to grow rapidly on concrete walls, especially when they're regularly damp. That's something de Croock—AKA Strook—takes advantage of. This series of images shows off his signature "subtractive graffiti", cut into a wall of moss outside the STUK art center in Leuven, Belgium.

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Look! Up in the sky!

I was waiting for him to come popping out of that kayak when he threw out the drogue - but it didn't happen. The landing's impressive.

Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys

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Don't bring a sword to a chain saw fight

Bloody battle between neighbours sees man's arm almost severed with a chain saw... and another's finger chopped off with a SAMURAI sword

In a bloody battle between two warring neighbours in Australia today, one man's arm was almost severed with a chain saw, while another had a finger chopped off with a Samurai sword.

Surgeons were later trying to save the arm of the chain saw victim, Mark Jorgenson, 29, while his neighbour Troy Thornton, 26, was being treated after losing his finger to the Samurai sword.

Police who rushed to the small town of Minto, south west of Sydney, found pools of blood in the street and Mr Jorgenson crying in pain from his almost-severed arm.

Via Clayton Cramer

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May 07, 2012

If you don't bet, you can't win

This is pretty amazing.

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Think of the children

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H.T. Jason, who caught this at the St. Louis Microfest.

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How to demolish a house

A house without a basement, that is.

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What a headline (7)

Free Pussy Riot

In his final interview as president of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev was asked to comment on many of the issues one would expect—relations with the United States, Ukraine and Georgia, government corruption… and the Pussy Riot case.

While you might not have heard much, if anything, about Pussy Riot in this country, the feminist punk rock collective has roiled Russian politics. Back in February, on the eve of Russia’s presidential election, it gave an impromptu performance of “Punk Prayer” on the pulpit of Christ the Savior Cathedral—Moscow’s Russian Orthodox equivalent of St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City. The performers wore ski masks, jabbed and kicked at the air and genuflected to verses imploring the Virgin Mary to “get rid of Putin, get rid of Putin, get rid of Putin.”

Via The Agitator

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May 04, 2012

Sounds like chicken

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In old New York

In-old-new-york.jpg
Painters hang from suspended wires on the Brooklyn Bridge October 7, 1914 -- 31 years after it first opened
Never-before-seen photos from 100 years ago tell vivid story of gritty New York City

Almost a million images of New York and its municipal operations have been made public for the first time on the internet.

The city's Department of Records officially announced the debut of the photo database.

I think they meant 'Never-before-published' but we'll let it slide... This time.

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The Listserve

Could be interesting.

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The midi-chlorian count was low, no doubt

Obiwan Kenobi Arrested In Roseville Hit-And-Run

ROSEVILLE, Calif. (KCRA) -- Jedi-mind tricks apparently weren’t enough to keep Obiwan Kenobi out of the Placer County Jail.

Roseville police said that over the weekend they arrested a 37-year-old with the same name as the Star Wars character on suspicion of hit-and-run causing injury. Kenobi was also wanted on an unrelated charge of petty theft, authorities said.

Kenobi was arrested in connection with a five-vehicle crash that took place March 19 at Fairway and Rosehall drives.

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May 03, 2012

Just out for a ride

Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

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Aerial patterns

Seven interesting aerial photos

aerial-photo-boats.jpg

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Texting & driving

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They're not going to watch themselves, are they?

Cops REQUIRE Copies of Unedited Porn Films Under New Simi Valley Law

Simi Valley recently passed a law requiring porn performers to wear condoms, which was widely perceived as a way to keep out condomless productions fleeing from Los Angeles.

But tucked into that law was a provision requiring adult videos producers to submit unedited copies of their films to the local police department for review, according to CBS Los Angeles. You know, just to make sure there was no funny business going on.

This got LOLs from the folks at Fark: "Breathless sweaty detectives promise to put as many hours as it takes to service protection."

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May 02, 2012

Motor skiing

Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys

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Ridin' bareback

Nude pillion passenger allowed to ride on after she gets 'no helmet' ticket

A woman riding on the back of a motorbike stark naked was pulled over by police - because she wasn't wearing her helmet.

The pillion passenger's dangerous curves no doubt proved distracting for other drivers on the road, but cops clearly didn't want to see her cover up.

After pulling the motorbike over in Romania, officers let the modern day Lady Godiva off with just a warning and a ticket for not donning a helmet.

The cheeky rider then hopped back on the bike, nude but for a crash helmet, and sped off - giving fellow motorists plenty of photo opportunities.

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The nude rider may have stopped traffic, but cops only wanted her to put her helmet on (Pic: CEN)

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Super moon of 2012

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Hangover Heaven

45 minute 'cures'

Hangover Heaven is a revolutionary new treatment that can cure your hangover in less than 45 minutes. Hangover Heaven involves placing a small IV in your arm to give you the necessary treatment to continue the party or just get back to your normal self. We use small Pediatric IV’s and numbing medicine to make the process very comfortable. Our founder, Dr. Jason Burke, completed his training in Anesthesiology at Duke University, one of the best medical centers in the world. He has practiced anesthesia for over ten years and is highly regarded by his peers. Here is his philosophy on Hangovers:

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May 01, 2012

April's Fail Compilation

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World's Largest

Bagger-288.jpg

From TwistedSifter.

When its construction was completed in 1978, Bagger 288 superseded NASA’s Crawler-Transporter, used to carry the Space Shuttle and Apollo Saturn V launch vehicle, as the largest land vehicle in the world. It is 311 feet (95 meters) tall, 705 feet (215 meters) long and weighs 45,500 tons. The machine took five years to design and manufacture and another five years to assemble. [...] It takes five people to operate the machine.

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Pu-r-r-r-r-r

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Drinking & driving

I would like to share an experience with you about drinking and driving. As you well know, some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities on our way home from certain social occasions over the years.

A couple of nights ago, I was out for a few drinks with some friends at the Marriott and I had a few too many beers as well as some rather nice red wine. Knowing full well I may have been slightly over the limit, I did something I've never done before: I took a bus home. Sure enough I passed a police road block but since it was a bus, they waved it past.

I arrived home safely without incident - which was quite a surprise because I have never driven a bus before and am not sure where I got it.

H.T. Tucson John

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