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July 31, 2012
I guess she does know Jack
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Papercraft
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The kind of bet you don't want to win
For that matter, the kind of bet you don't want to make.
Via The Agitator
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What's worse than kidney thieves?
Fei Lin's Penis Stolen By ThievesThieves stole a man's penis while he slept, according to police.
Fei Lin, 41, of the Niqiao village near Wenling City, in east China's Zhejiang province, told police he was asleep when the thieves burst into his room and put a bag over his head, according to CEN/EUROPICS and as reported in the Daily Star.
"They put something over my head and pulled down my trousers and then they ran off," Lin said. "I was so shocked I didn't feel a thing - then I saw I was bleeding and my penis was gone."
Via The Agitator
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July 30, 2012
Summer movies
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Childhood
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Clever ideas
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Are you the droid we're looking for?
From Craigslist, so the link will go stale soon.
Part time attorney needed (Pittsburgh west)
Date: 2012-07-16, 5:04PM EDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@job.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]We are a collection agency/debt buyer. What we are looking for is a part time attorney to work for us as our corporate counsel, on our payroll, about 5 to 6 hours a week. This is a short term employment arrangement, no longer than 90 to 120 days.
Your job will be to sign pleadings, praecipe for entry of appearances, praecipe for writ of execution, and garnishment orders. Our paralegal will prepare all paperwork for your signature. This is very standard stuff for us.
If you are an attorney looking for challenging legal work, this is not for you. WE DO NOT NEED F LEE BAILEY- we are fee shopping. If you passed your boards with a D+, and you can sign your name, you possess all the credentials required for this job. If this opportunity interests you, please feel free to reply to this email with a brief description of who you are, when you got your law license, and what you will be needing from us in the way of compensation.
Via CoyoteBlog
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July 27, 2012
Free fall flower
An 88-way formation by the 'Pearls of Russia'. It's the first all-female formation of that size.
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If you don't mind climbing stairs
Townhouse in the skyOver the past two years, shoppers at a West London supermarket may have noticed a bizarre cylindrical dwelling taking shape high above the store's car park.
The structure from which it has been created - a 60ft tower holding a vast water tank - could not have looked more uninhabitable.
But since 2009, this concrete drum has slowly undergone an incredible transformation.
First it was sectioned off into three storeys and clad with timber, then a dozen windows were cut into its walls.
At present, the living space comprises a kitchen, reception room and bathroom on the first floor, two bedrooms and a bathroom on the second, and a 360-degree reception room on the third.
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Deal old D.A.D.
Via Miss Cellania
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Gotta dance
One-legged dancer doesn't miss a step in tap careerEvan Ruggiero has long dreamed of a career as an entertainer, and his talent for tap dancing has played a big role in his plans. So when he was diagnosed with bone cancer in his right leg in October 2009, it was more than just a shock. Ruggiero had to come to terms with just how much tap meant to him — and what it would take to persevere.
"I was all about getting rid of the cancer, but when could I dance again?" Ruggiero, 21, says recently by phone from his hometown, Old Bridge, N.J. Ultimately, the leg had to be amputated.
"You can imagine how angry and upset I was," he says. But Ruggiero took inspiration from a famous one-legged tap legend: Clayton "Peg Leg" Bates, who brilliantly coordinated his right leg with a wooden one.
"A lot of times I look at his videos and say, 'Oh, yeah, that's a cool step,'" says Ruggiero, who wears a peg leg on stage. [...]
The peg leg is for dancing only, Ruggiero says.
"My everyday walking leg, that I wear all the time, is what's called a C-Leg (for "computer leg")," he says. "It has a bunch of microprocessors in it, and a mechanical and hydraulic knee. It gives me the smoothest walk any amputee can have."
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July 26, 2012
What not to say
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Toronto
It looks as though the rainbow springs from the base of the CN Tower.
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How to sweep a street
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Everybody's got his hand out
Park Service is requiring permits to hunt BigfootIf you're going to make a business out of taking naive people into national parks and extorting money from them to go hunt around for Bigfoot, then the U.S. National Park Service has this message for you: They want in. Sasquatch hunter Matt Pruitt learned this when he was leading 31 believers (who had paid between $300 and $500 apiece) through Steel Creek in Arkansas last month and ran into rangers who cited him for "engaging in a business without a permit or written agreement." Pruitt had to pay almost $600 for the permit, but apparently it's worth the expense. He's led Sasquatch-sighting-centered trips in 18 states and ranks Arkansas as being in the top three for potential to spot the wily beast.
H.T. Jeff G.
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July 25, 2012
Post It stop action
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Good work, George!
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A salt weapon
Via TYWKIWDBI
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Going green
New York area homeowners turning to "lawn painting"(Reuters) - Despite the summer's persistent heat waves, the grass really is greener in some neighborhoods in New York and New Jersey.
Homeowners with brown, dried-up lawns are turning to "lawn painting" to liven up their yards.
Business is booming, according to Joe Perazzo, who launched his lawn painting company in New York's most suburban borough of Staten Island a few years ago, inspired by the tinting process used to color professional athletic fields. Other companies have sprung up in the region and elsewhere in the country.
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July 24, 2012
The 20th anniversary
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Oops (18)
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Wildebeest
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I wonder how much he saved
Software engineer claims generic version of Propecia turned him into a womanThis baldness cure was a bust.
For nine months, William McKee took the generic version of Propecia, the pills that promise to halt hair loss.
But the drug had radical side effects: Instead of becoming a better-looking man, he started becoming a woman, he claims.
"My rock-hard chest from the gym began to soften . . . reaching the point where I had noticeable 'breasts' even under my clothing," he says. [...]
McKee, who says he wasn't inclined to cross-dress before, began feeling like a woman. He is now only attracted to men.
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July 23, 2012
Happier than Gallagher at a farmers' market
An amusing ad from Geico
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Misery loves company
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Kaboom! (2)
The submitter's notes are in Russian and I think they mean that the fuel tank exploded.
Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
That must be some fine beer
Either that or most of the beer was already inside him. News from New Zealand
Chainsaw rampage charges after beer argumentA man wielding a chainsaw allegedly cut through a front door, then a pole causing a veranda to collapse before chopping a takeaway sign in half during a dispute over a box of beers.
Whangarei police Sergeant Stephanie Hudson said officers were called to a Hikurangi home about 6.50pm on Thursday.
It's believed a dispute broke out between the man and a woman over a box of Steinlager beer. The woman went out on to the veranda of the property and the man picked up a recently sharpened chainsaw.
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July 21, 2012
The Eagle has landed
News from 43 years ago.
Posted by joke du jour at 11:01 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
July 20, 2012
Auto-correct song
NSFW
Via Miss Cellania
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For all you mother lovers
This billboard in West Hollywood is for real.
H.T. Jeff G
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You must remember this...
Via The Daily What
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Serious dedication
Pregnancy No Barrier to Malaysian's Olympic JourneyKUALA LUMPUR — As she prepares to make her Olympic debut later this month, Nur Suryani Mohamed Taibi's greatest fear is not that she may succumb to the pressure that comes with being the first woman to represent Malaysia in shooting.
Rather, Nur Suryani is worried about whether the baby girl inside her will kick just as she pulls the trigger: The Olympian will be eight months pregnant when she competes.
The 29-year-old Malaysian, who is ranked 47th in the world in the 10-meter air rifle event, is set to join an exclusive club of women who have competed in the Olympics while pregnant.
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July 19, 2012
BAMF fishers
H.T. Tucson John
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Fog in Vancouver
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Parking cheer leaders
A group of drunk (it's claimed) German soccer fans in Münster cheering a woman parking her car after Germany's win against Argentina (in 2010).
Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Some people are never satisfied
Cops: Woman Dialed 911 With Mug Shot Beef.JULY 19--A Georgia woman has been charged with misusing the 911 system after she called police dispatchers to register a complaint about the quality of a mug shot taken following a prior arrest.
Tonya Ann Fowler dialed police Sunday evening after spotting the photo in "Bad & Busted," a local publication that compiles images of recent arrestees. The photo that so displeased Fowler, 45, was snapped following an earlier collar
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July 18, 2012
Flops
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A tragic tale
The Tragic & Unfortunate Story of Ronald McDonald in a slideshow.
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Tour the moon
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If you've ever wondered, here's how that works
Video at the link
Woman Flips Over After Trying To Ride Motorized Scooter Up MBTA EscalatorBOSTON (CBS) – A woman on a motorized scooter fell down an escalator on the MBTA last week.
On Friday, the 56-year-old woman from South Boston was attempting to ride her scooter up an escalator at the Broadway MBTA Station, but flipped over a couple times and fell down.
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July 17, 2012
Any landing you can walk away from... (2)
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Is "entrepreneurial bum" an oxymoron?
Via Carpe Diem
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I feel lucky (3)
I wonder if that filling station sells lottery tickets.
Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
And all he needs is fresh fish
Talkeetna Mayor is a Cat Named StubbsTALKEETNA, Alaska — A cat named Stubbs has been the mayor of Talkeetna for nearly all of his life -- no joke.
It's been that way for more than a decade in the small tourist town that boasts nearly 900 residents.
The part-manx was named honorary mayor shortly after his birth, and now locals all know the cat as "Mayor Stubbs." [...]
As the story goes, 15 years ago several of the town residents didn't like the candidates who were running for mayor of Talkeetna, so as a joke, they encouraged enough people to elect Stubbs the cat as a write-in candidate, and he actually won.
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July 16, 2012
The flip side
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Cityscapes
The 25 Best Skylines In The World
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Nice catch! (8)
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Sweet sarcasm
8 Stupid Amazon Products With Impressively Sarcastic Reviews
Here's a sample: the Guardian Angel acupuncture device
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July 14, 2012
Henri 3
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Go team!
The U.S. Women's National Volleyball Team.
Part of a 28-image slideshow taken from ESPN's Body Issue 9(via TYWKIWDBI).
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Anais Mittins, le jeune fille chat
Via Miss Cellania
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Happy birthday, Spam
Video at the link
Happy Birthday, Spam! America's favorite canned meat turns 75Spam turns 75 years old this July, and it's celebrating with a new mascot and a party at its chief US manufacturing plant. Once a staple of soldiers' diets, Spam's reluctant legacy may be as the clown of the food world.
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July 10, 2012
Roll your own Big Mac
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Moon on the Fourth
Taken in Kansas City last week.
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Today's menu
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The Instant Heart Attack saved
'Heart attack' sandwich can stay on N.Y. menuNEW YORK (AP) — New Yorkers can still order up an instant heart attack.
The Second Avenue Deli won a court fight with a Las Vegas-based burger joint Friday over the names of their gut-busting foods. The New York deli's sandwich called "instant heart attack" is made of sliced pastrami and fried potato latkes. It costs $24.95.
The Heart Attack Grill in Vegas had ordered the deli to stop serving the fare on trademark infringement grounds. [...]
The Second Avenue Deli is also allowed to sell another sandwich called the "triple bypass." Lebewohl says it includes "everything but the kitchen sink."
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July 09, 2012
Extreme indeed
I wonder if this machine was designed to work this way.
Update: Paul B writes, "Yep, it is supposed to work that way, apparently... I wonder how often they check those U-joints... Check out the Maverick."
Via The Daily What
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Face in a cloud
This is 1 of 11 images from the Gallery of the Craziest Clouds
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Murmuration
This flock of starlings was filmed in Ireland, I believe.
Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Another use for LOLcats
Insurance claim over dead cat backfires on Tacoma manA 29-year-old Tacoma man who filed a $20,000 insurance claim for the death of a cat he claimed to have loved "like a son" has been charged with insurance fraud and attempted theft.
According to the charges filed last week in Pierce County, Yevgeniy Samsonov's beloved cat never existed and photos he submitted to bolster his claim had been pulled from the Internet.
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July 06, 2012
It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that swing (3)
Hit That Jive, Jack by Diana Krall, Russell Malone and Paul Keller, live in Montreal on June 5th 1996.
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Stately sandwiches
Kelly Pratt has "set out to make the sandwich for each of the 50 states, hence the name Stately Sandwiches."
This one's a brisket sandwich from Texas and she writes this about it, "When a sandwich starts with bloody marys and ends with tequila, it's pretty impossible not to love."
Via The Agitator
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The best things
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Somebody's got to do it (2)
'Hen party'? Boy, I haven't heard that in a long while.
Hen party mistake police for strippersAUSTRALIAN POLICE OFFICERS narrowly escaped a Darwin pub with their dignity intact after a rowdy hen party mistook them for strippers, reports The Australian newspaper.
The male officers attended the Humpty Doo Tavern in northern Australia after reports of a disturbance, only to be greeted by an amorous group of women who proceeded to try and take the officers' clothes off.
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July 05, 2012
Like your life passing before your ears
Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys
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Geeky sand sculptures
15 Wonderfully Geeky Sand Sculptures
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9 more minutes of "Ouch!"
Remember: Dress for the slide, not for the ride.
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Battered
Police: Arrest follows dispute over pancakesA Muncie man was arrested this week on allegations he battered his sister after she criticized how much maple syrup he had placed on his pancakes.
Joseph Eugene Perry Jr., 47, was preliminarily charged with battery and strangulation. He remained in the Delaware County jail on Wednesday under a $7,500 bond.
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July 04, 2012
Fire Works
Heh
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July 03, 2012
Cooking a dog
If you're thinking of grilling any dogs, here's how...
Via TYWKIWDBI
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Happy Independence Day 2012
Because of the drought here, many towns in the area have cancelled their pyrotechnic displays - and we've decided not to shoot our own fireworks. Maybe I'll find a good televised display.
Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
Hot weather in Richmond
This is a great spoof but I don't know who's behind it.
Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
What the... ?
Lawsuits: Kim Kardashian A Terrorist, Had Sex On Tape While Unicorn WatchedWHEELING, W.Va. (CBSDC) – Two recent lawsuits filed against reality television star Kim Kardashian assert that the pop culture personality has terrorist sympathies, and that she recently made a sex tape in the presence of multiple animals – including a unicorn.
The two lawsuits were filed in the United States District Court in West Virginia on June 21 by Gino Romano of Brooklyn and "all others similarly situated," and on June 25 by Jonathan Kimberly of Philadelphia, CBS affiliate WTRF-TV reports.
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July 02, 2012
I'm farmin' and I grow it
I thought this parody was pretty funny.
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FTW (6)
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A complete overhaul
Here's a nicely done timelapse of overhauling a auto engine. It reminds me of the time I tore down the engine in my old Volvo wagon after it hammered a valve through one of its pistons.
There's nothing like starting it up and driving off after an overhaul (even if you do have a few odds & ends left over).
Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack
This'll stop you - no matter how sober you are
Michigan adds talking urinal cakes to DUI fightMichigan is hoping to keep drunks off the road with the help from a special bathroom message.
The state says talking urinal-deodorizer cakes have been distributed to Michigan Licensed Beverage Association members in Wayne, Bay, Ottawa and Delta counties. A recorded message will play reminding men who step up to the urinals to call a cab or a friend, if needed, to get home safely.
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