« March 2013 | Main | May 2013 »

April 30, 2013

FTW (6)

Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Meet Mr. Slick

This cat has to be a crazy smooth talker.

Four female prison guards impregnated by same inmate

BALTIMORE Four female prison guards in Baltimore fell pregnant to the same inmate, according to authorities who have busted a major smuggling gang inside the jail system.

Two of the women tattooed the inmate's name on their bodies and he showered three of them with expensive gifts including cars and jewelry.

The four women are among 25 people who face federal charges, including 13 female prison guards, CBS Baltimore reports.

The scheme involved smuggling drugs and cell phones into Baltimore City Detention Center.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Only in Oz

I've had engines that could have used this.

start-ya-bastard.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 29, 2013

Wash directions

for-worst-results.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

First thing we do...

Let's kill all the lawyers. If you read the woman's feedback you'll see that it's very civil.

Med Express Sues Marginally Dissatisfied Customer For Posting Accurate Feedback On eBay

Here's yet another example of companies using lawsuits to censor speech -- a situation that would be stopped if there was a serious federal anti-SLAPP law in place. Paul Levy shares the incredible story of a company called "Med Express," an Ohio company, who appears to sell various medical equipment exclusively via eBay (there are other "Med Express" companies out there from what I can tell). One buyer, in South Carolina, purchased something, but was disappointed by the fact that the product arrived postage due. The woman noted it wasn't the fact that she had to pay, just the inconvenience of having to pay to get the delivery when it wasn't expected. In response, she left negative feedback on Med Express' eBay page.

While Med Express did express regret (while noting that some other customers had seen the same problem) and offered to reimburse the postage due, it also asked her to remove the negative review. However, as she noted, it wasn't the money issue, but the inconvenience, so she decided to leave her feedback up. At this point, Med Express and its lawyer, James Amodio, apparently decided that if she didn't like "inconvenience" it would subject her to more inconvenience and sued her for defamation in state court in Ohio and sought a temporary restraining order against eBay to block the review. While that failed, apparently the judge is allowing a hearing to happen for a preliminary injunction even though (as Levy points out) the same reason the TRO was rejected should apply to any preliminary injunction.

Amazingly, the complaint directly lays out the pretty clear fact that it's suing her for not removing a truthful review. They don't even attempt to argue that she said anything false or defamatory. Just that they feel she shouldn't have complained since they offered to reimburse.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Street View hyperlapse

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 26, 2013

George Jones, RIP

His Life Was a Country Song

George Jones, the definitive country singer of the last half-century, whose songs about heartbreak and hard drinking echoed his own turbulent life, died on Friday in Nashville. He was 81.

It was indeed. This was one of his early hits.

This one went to #1 in 1962. James Taylor said of Jones' cover, "He did it so good, it makes you weep. [...] It makes your roof leak to hear this song."

My personal favorite (because of the crazy juxtapositions and silly rhymes).


Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hello there, sailor!

US sailor thwarts Dubai bus driver rapist

An off-duty US navy sailor wrestled a bus driver to the ground and beat him into submission after he attempted to rape her at knife point, a court heard yesterday.

Prosecutors said that she knocked the knife from his hand, broke it in two, bit him in the hand, forced him to the ground and locked him between her thighs.

The woman, 28, was on 24-hour shore leave in Dubai and was attacked as she returned to the port where she was based after a day shopping.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

All requests

Here's 1 of 36 images in a widely varying collection at The Atlantic's In Focus site -- everything from Antarctic research to a baby pig to Vladmir Putin.

bay-islands-honduras.jpg
Allan Medina [...] said he "would love to see pics of the beautiful Bay Islands in Honduras. One of the best travel destinations in the world". Here is a gorgeous sunset, seen from on board the Sprit of Free Radical near Roatan. Original here. (CC BY SA Colin and Sarah Northway)



Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 25, 2013

Warning

max-clowns.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

There's an app for that (11)

The population of Iceland is only ~320, 000 people.

Iceland students create 'Incest Spoiler' Android app

REYKJAVíK, Iceland, April 22 (UPI) -- Three University of Iceland students said the smartphone app they designed is meant to prevent people from accidentally dating their cousins.

On the other hand, here are 31 famous people who married a first cousin.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Stoopidtall

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 24, 2013

Very impressive, Grasshopper

This is positively amazing. I can't believe they have such control over the rocket - and on windy day, no less. Kudos to the SpaceX folks.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Banzai!

Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop comes to aid of woman being attacked

A Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop helped a neighbor woman escape a Tuesday morning attack by a man who had been stalking her.

Kent Hendrix woke up Tuesday to his teenage son pounding on his bedroom door and telling him somebody was being mugged in front of their house. The 47-year-old father of six rushed out the door and grabbed the weapon closest to him -- a 29-inch high carbon steel Samurai sword.

He came upon what he describes as a melee between a woman and a man. His son stayed inside to call 911 while he approached the man along with other neighbors who came to help. The martial arts instructor didn't hesitate in drawing the sword and yelling at him to get on the ground.

"His eyes got as big as saucers and he kind of gasped and jumped back," Hendrix said by phone Tuesday afternoon.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sounds like it's a contender

Is this the shortest TV career in history?

The weekend new anchor who started his new job by swearing live on air with his first words has been let go today by his news station in North Dakota.

KFYR news anchor A.J. Clemente opened up on air by saying 'F****** s***' into his live microphone, leaving his co-anchor dumbfounded.

Sadly though for Clemente, KFYRTV fired him today after less than 24-hours in the job and Clemente took to Twitter to say, 'Unfortunately KFYRTV has decided to let me go. Thank you to them and everyone in ND for the opportunity and everyone for the support.'

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 23, 2013

<groan> (2)

reigny-day.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Like flies to honey, I'll bet

Customers flock to topless barber shop

A Brisbane barber shop says it is attracting customers from hundreds of miles away - after offering topless trims.

It claims that customers travel from as far as Townesville - 850 miles away - for a short back and sides.

The scantily-clad barbers also offer scalp massages, brow waxing, blow dries and a shave with a cut-throat razor.

Owner operator Jasmine Robson said all her stylists were fully qualified hairdressers.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Hilarious parody

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 22, 2013

More Evian babies

It's been a few years since their Skating Babies ad.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Now that's a phat one

Video shows UC Santa Cruz police confiscating 2-pound joint from 4/20 party

A video posted to the Internet shows police on the University of California, Santa Cruz campus confiscating what is described as a 2-pound marijuana joint Saturday.

According to various accounts on the Internet, the incident happened at an annual event that marks April 20, or 4/20, numbers which have become associated with smoking marijauna.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Lookin' sharp

1 of 4 images of laser-cut paper.

laser-cut-paper.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 19, 2013

Gorges

12 Fascinating Gorges Around the World

antelope-canyon.jpg
Antelope Canyon in Arizona

Via The Presurfer

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Good morning!

Boy, 16, charged with assault for urinating in school staffroom coffee pot after teachers report strange 'chemical taste'

A 16-year-old Missouri boy has been charged with assault after allegedly urinating into his teachers' staffroom coffee pot.

The unidentified boy is accused of being caught on camera sneaking into the room at Central High School, St Joseph, and urinating into the glass container.

After three weeks of investigation and watching surveillance video from a hidden staffroom camera, headteacher Melody Smith said staff identified a possible culprit and notified police.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

10,000 iPhones

Clever ad

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 18, 2013

Serious stones (2)

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail

When Dinner Has a Gleam in Its Eye

BEIJING — Bundled up on a wind-whipped day, about 30 people lined up outside a restaurant takeout window here, waiting for rabbit heads.

For guests in the main dining room, a video explained how to eat the fist-size heads. Su Yong, the restaurant's enthusiastic chef and star of the video, demonstrated by pulling open the rabbit's mouth and separating the jaw from the skull before splitting the jawbone in two and sucking off the succulent meat. In case there was any confusion, brochures with diagrams rested on each table.

Mr. Su is a sort of rabbit head evangelist, drawing celebrities to his restaurant, Old Street Rabbit, to help drum up crowds. He holds aloft one half of a tiny jawbone, explaining that it can be employed as a pick, and then uses the incisor to scoop out an eye, window to the bunny's soul.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

TGI Canada

T-G-I-Canada.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 17, 2013

Need to buy some vowels

buy-a-vowel-1.jpg

buy-a-vowel-2.gif

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Self-contempt

Judge holds self in contempt for his smartphone

IONIA, Mich. (AP) — A Michigan judge whose smartphone disrupted a hearing in his own courtroom has held himself in contempt and paid $25 for the infraction.

Judge Raymond Voet has a posted policy at Ionia County 64A District Court stating that electronic devices causing a disturbance during court sessions will result in the owner being cited with contempt, the Sentinel-Standard of Ionia and MLive.com reported.

On Friday afternoon, during a prosecutor's closing argument as part of a jury trial, Voet's new smartphone began to emit sounds requesting phone voice commands. Voet said he thinks he bumped the phone, and the embarrassment likely left his face red.

"I'm guessing I bumped it. It started talking really loud, saying 'I can't understand you. Say something like Mom,'" he said. [...]

Over the years, the judge whose court is about 110 miles northwest of Detroit has taken phones away from police officers, attorneys, witnesses, spectators and friends. During a break in the trial, Voet held himself in contempt, fined himself and paid the fine.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Good dog! (2)

The dog is impressive - and the dialog's pretty amusing.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 16, 2013

Touring Niagara

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

That description isn't much of a recommendation

Elephant Dung Beer Sounds Grosser Than It Tastes

Last year, the first elephant dung coffee debuted on the scene at a whopping $1,100 per kilogram. Don't worry, the coffee doesn't actually taste like feces, but rather like an earthy and smooth blend. It just happens to be made from beans that passed through an elephant's digestive tract.

This month, Sankt Gallen, a Japanese brewery, decided to take the elephant dung "trend" one step further by creating elephant dung beer. According to RocketNews24, Sankt Gallen debuted the brew on April Fools' Day, and it sold out within minutes.

The beer, titled "Un, Kono Kuro" -- a pun on "unko," the Japanese word for "crap" -- is a coffee stout made with elephant dung coffee beans.

A contributor to RocketNews24 got his hands on a few bottles and seemed quite taken with the creation. "For some time after I could still feel as if my body was saturated with that warm scent," he wrote. "Luckily there were two more bottles left."

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Nice design (2)

designer-candle.gif

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 15, 2013

We all love ice scream

scream-for-ice-cream.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Straight out of Tom Sawyer

Chinese undertaker offering fake funerals for the living

Last month, 24 pretend funerals were held at the Shimenfeng Celebrity Culture Park cemetery in the Chinese city of Wuhan.

"It was the first time we ever offered this kind of service," said Zhang Bei, the mortuary's 30-year-old "cemetery designer", who argued the experience could help people better appreciate their lives.

The fake funerals were the brainchild of Zeng Jia, a 20-year-old student, who became the first to lie down in a coffin during her fake wake at the end of March.

Ms Zeng, who is studying to be an undertaker, said she had come up with the idea after a relative suffered a brain haemorrhage and died in 2011. "I was so touched by this incident," she said.

Workers at the cemetery were initially confused by Ms Zeng's idea but were eventually convinced.

"We were really surprised but found [the concept] new and interesting," said Ms Zhang.

Despite the absence of genuine cadavers, Ms Zhang said the funeral services were realistic, involving coffins, floral bouquets, mourners, photographers and even emotion-packed speeches from friends of the 'deceased'. [...]

"The atmosphere is quite light-hearted, just like a party," said Ms Zhang.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Synchronized skiing

29 or so Freestyle athletes from quebec performed a linked simultaneous backflip at end of season events at Mont Saint-Sauveur. More Wold cup medals and medalist than I could count in the line up!


Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 11, 2013

Body part correspondents

The audio is definitely NSFW so mind the volume.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Immune to his meds, it sounds like

Man who faked diplomatic immunity sent to prison

SALT LAKE CITY — An Ogden man who pleaded guilty to charges stemming from falsely claiming diplomatic immunity during a traffic stop and then billing police and other government agencies $53 trillion in damages is headed to prison for three years.

A federal judge sentenced 55-year-old Harvey Douglas Goff on Monday. [...]

Court documents show that the 55-year-old Goff told police that he had diplomatic immunity during a traffic stop about two years ago and then demanded $53 trillion in damages.

When he wasn't paid, he filed liens on 77 parcels of land in Weber County. Some of them included personal property of government officials.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

TGFB (14)

Bacon fries.

bacon-fries.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 10, 2013

An easy call

easy-flowchart.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

And now he has some real problems

Police: Wedding ring pawned to pay hooker

GREENWOOD, S.C., April 4 (UPI) -- Police in South Carolina said they arrested a man who allegedly admitted to pawning his wedding ring to pay a prostitute.

The Greenwood Police Department said an officer pulled over a vehicle in an area known to be frequented by prostitutes and drug dealers [...] WYFF-TV, Greenville, S.C., reported Thursday.

The driver, Marvin Holmes II, 33, allegedly told the officer he decided to pick up a prostitute because he was having problems with his wife.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Roll your own bullet time

Filmiing bullet time effects with an array of relatively inexpensive cameras.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 08, 2013

Taking his act on the road

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Cozy

Or claustrophic... I've lived in some small apartments but none this tiny.

New York reveals plans for MORE micro-apartments averaging 400 square feet to deal with housing shortage

For New Yorkers, the grueling search for affordable apartments is about to get a little easier.

The city is planning to build more 'micro-apartments' - economically-friendly spaces that average 400 square feet - the New York Observer reports.

'We are considering RFPs for two or three micro-unit developments later this year,' a housing official told the Observer. 'We're in the process of vetting a number of city-owned sites, and RFP guidelines will be tailored to the chosen sites.'

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Celebrate your life

You gotta love the horned helmet.

celebrate-your-life.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 05, 2013

Fish on the beach

fishy-sand-sculpture.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

See scenic North Korea

North Korea tourism 'booming' despite war threats

A handful of state-sanctioned travel operators have been guiding tourists through the otherwise secretive North Korea for several years now, and they say business is booming despite the nation's recent threats of nuclear war against neighbouring South Korea and the U.S.

"All [our] sources are saying that this is just the latest — notably a particularly big wave — but still just another wave" of anti-Western sentiment, Richie Fenner, a 23-year-old Brit who has visited North Korea 20 times, told CBC News. [...]

"You definitely feel you're somewhere very, very different to anywhere else you've been before," he says. So he invested in YPT and came on board as a guide for the company whose tagline is: "Adventure travel to destinations your mother would rather you stayed away from."

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

RC drifting

Via The Borderline Sociopathic Blog For Boys

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 04, 2013

Spring is here

How to golf:

How not to:

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Nice work if you can get it (10)

'Tall white foreigner from Wales singing songs about communism' is hit in China

Iain Inglis, 30, shot to fame after singing traditional communist revolutionary songs while dressed in a Red Army uniform.

The university lecturer made it to the semi-finals of the show [China's Got Talent - JdJ] and now performs for up to £5,000 a night.

"I'm a tall, white foreigner from Wales singing songs about communism in Chinese," Mr Inglis, from Cardiff, said. "It was a bit of fun to start off with but the more performances I did, the more I was hooked. For some reason the Chinese people seem to find it quite hilarious."

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Cherry blossoms

cherry-blossoms-in-japan.jpg

Source

And another...

cherry-blossoms-2.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 03, 2013

How cool would this be?

Too bad it's an April Fools joke

Virgin Atlantic Launches World's First-Ever Glass-Bottomed Plane

As you may have seen in the national press, after nearly 30 years of providing the ultimate long-haul flying experience, Virgin Atlantic and our founder Richard Branson are once again flying in the face of ordinary by announcing the creation of a world first in aircraft innovation. This technological innovation coincides with the start of our first ever domestic service, Little Red.

Today we've announced that our world-class engineering crew have been secretly working on the design and production of the world's first-ever glass-bottomed plane, created to ensure passengers can enjoy both an unparalleled flying experience, as well as a selection of stunning landscapes from the comfort of their seats.

glass-bottomed-plane.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Sunny side up

sunny-side-up.jpg

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

TGFB (16)

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 02, 2013

Schlaf Lite

You probably need to live in St. Louis (and be a beer drinker) to appreciate this April Fools' video from Troika Brodsky at The St. Louis Brewery, brewer of Schlafly brand beers. It pokes fun at Schlafly's neighbor & competitor, the 800-lb gorilla of U.S. breweries.

Posted by joke du jour at 07:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Another Darwin Award nominee

Man hurt flying kite from moving vehicle in Calif.

RIVERSIDE, Calif. -- A 22-year-old man was critically hurt in Southern California when he fell off the trunk of a car while attempting to fly a kite from the moving vehicle. [...]

Authorities say the car's driver wasn't injured and alcohol was not involved.

H.T. Carol

Posted by joke du jour at 07:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

How to mess with your cat

cat-laser-ptr-crash.gif

Source

Posted by joke du jour at 07:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

April 01, 2013

F'real (2)

Duet.

usb-vibe.jpg

Posted by joke du jour at 06:03 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Getting around in Moscow

Wealthy Russians hiring ambulances to cut through Moscow traffic

We're not sure how widespread the practice is, but the option is apparently out there: Russian police have discovered companies on the Internet offering rides in "ambulance-taxis" through notoriously bad Moscow traffic. For roughly 6,000 rubles per hour – about $193 US, which doesn't sound like much for a wealthy Russian – the 'customer' will get to cut through gridlock in an ambulance with flashing lights and the proper paint scheme outside but a refitted, leather-lined interior.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:02 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack

Easter magic

I was intending to post this last Friday. Better late than never.

Posted by joke du jour at 06:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack