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May 29, 2013

Bad analogies

56 in this list, actually. Here are the first 10.

50+ of the Worst (Best) Analogies by High School Students

This list of hilariously mis-formulated analogies by high school students has been bouncing around the Interwebs for awhile, but it's so good that it deserves a repost. Lore has it that it originates from a Washington Post contest that asked teachers to send samples of the worst analogies from their students' work. The word "worst" is a bit of a misnomer because many of these analogies are unintentional genius and all of them are pretty hilarious. Enjoy:

  1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
  2. He was as tall as a 6'3? tree.
  3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
  4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
  5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
  6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
  7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
  8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
  9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
  10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

Posted by joke du jour at May 29, 2013 06:02 PM

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