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March 31, 2014

Expertise

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Mitch Hedberg compendium

Someone at Buzzfeed compiled 275 of Hedberg's joke to mark the anniversary of his passing on March 29th.

A Complete Ranking Of (Almost) Every Single Mitch Hedberg Joke

I perform at the colleges and I always buy the shirt from the college because they’re quality shirts and they’re colorful. But people get the wrong idea, you know? I walk around with a Washington University shirt on and someone goes “Hey, Washington U, did you go there?”

“Yeah… it was a Wednesday.” [Listen]

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Real books

I assume this clever ad came from the Book Tavern in Augusta, GA.

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Source

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March 29, 2014

Don't drop the screwdriver

People working on a radio tower atop the Empire State building in 2001. You can buy a print at the New York Times store.

dont-drop-the-screwdriver.jpg

What I want to know is: where was the person who took the photo?

Source

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The Roving Typist

Via TWYKIWDBI

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March 28, 2014

Clever advertising (3)

Two examples, for your delectation.


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Shouldn't this be called an "ACM"?

Cupcake ATM Pops Out Treats in 10 Seconds

Do New Yorkers really need another way to consume cupcakes?

Yes. The answer is yes.

And now New Yorkers -- joining cupcake fanatics in cities like Dallas, Chicago, Atlanta, Las Vegas and Beverly Hills -- can get a cupcake 24 hours a day. Will the Sprinkles store opening next month on the Upper East Side of Manhattan be open all hours of the day and night? No, but its cupcake ATM will.

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Al fresco supreme

In Murren, Switzerland

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Source

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March 27, 2014

Well played! (6)

The amazing thing here is that I've had this in the queue for 6 months - and I didn't forget it.

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Source

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I'll guess it was more than just alcohol

Va. Woman Arrested After Visiting Jailed Husband In the Nude

LANHAM, Md. (CBSDC) — A 26-year-old Virginia woman was arrested Saturday after she arrived naked at the Arlington County Magistrate's Office to visit her husband, who had been arrested in Clarendon earlier that day.

Police say Maura Fussell, of Reston, arrived at about 11 p.m. and refused to get dressed or to leave in a cab.

Fussell was arrested and charged with indecent exposure and being drunk in public. She was held until she sobered up.

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Fascinating

Mikhail SADOVNIKOV (Russia), clay, pottery wheel, music, improvisation...

music: ALIHAN SAMEDOW song "Sen Gelmez Oldun" JIVAN GASPARIAN duduk;
PETR DRANGA "CHardash" by Monti;
SERGEI STAROSTIN and his song "Gluboko".

idea: Olga SADOVNIKOVА

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March 26, 2014

As generic as it gets

This might be the funniest ad I've ever seen

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Who wouldn't want one?

North Korea: Students required to get Kim Jong-un haircut

Male university students in North Korea are now required to get the same haircut as their leader Kim Jong-un, it is reported.

The state-sanctioned guideline was introduced in the capital Pyongyang about two weeks ago, Radio Free Asia reports. It is now being rolled out across the country - although some people have expressed reservations about getting the look.

"Our leader's haircut is very particular, if you will," one source tells Radio Free Asia. "It doesn't always go with everyone since everyone has different face and head shapes." Meanwhile, a North Korean now living in China says the look is actually unpopular at home because people think it resembles Chinese smugglers. "Until the mid-2000s, we called it the 'Chinese smuggler haircut'," the Korea Times reports.

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Clever escalator deco

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Source

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March 24, 2014

Optics porn

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Source

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Brewer and Governor

Beer taps installed in Colorado governor's mansion

State officials announced Friday that private donors have paid for a new "draft beer system" in the governor's mansion.

The mansion now has three taps that will feature changing Colorado-made brews.

The Colorado Craft Brewers Guild helped pay for the taps, along with the Governor's Mansion Preservation Fund. The price of the taps was not disclosed.

Gov. John Hickenlooper co-founded a downtown Denver brewpub in the late 1980s and frequently espouses his love for Colorado beers.

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Wait... what? (10)

More weirdness from the Tumba Ping Pong Show.

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March 22, 2014

Well played, sir

What to do with a picture-a-day during your wife's pregnancy.

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On the wing (4)

A New Zealand Kea

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Source

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March 21, 2014

Street art in the winter

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Source

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Shoot-out at the Golden Corral

Senior Food Fight Lands Early Bird Diner In Jail

One senior citizen is in trouble with the law after police say she was the instigator in a food fight at a popular restaurant for the elderly.

Wilkesboro police say a 69-year-old-man and a 62-year-old woman were assaulted, one who was hit by a flying plate.

Police say it happened at the Golden Corral in Wilkesboro around 3:45 p.m. Tuesday.

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You say you want a revolution (2)

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March 20, 2014

Masters at going faster (7)

Faster than a knife fight in a phone booth. The fun starts at about 0:45.

Via Gizmag

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Nice work if you can get it (12)

Is Ed Houben Europe's most virile man?

Ed Houben has an unusual pastime. He has slept with scores of women who seek him out for his legendary powers of insemination. As John Laurenson discovers, he doesn't charge.

In a farm house in north-western Germany, heated by a lively fire in a wood-burning stove, a bulky and bespectacled Dutchman - he freely admits he is a bit on the heavy side - makes his way upstairs to the baby's room.

Ed Houben has come to see his daughter for the first time.

He talks gently to the six-week-old baby, and little Madita looks up at him. She is, he says, his 98th child.

Mr Houben is a "charitable sperm donor". He helps lesbian couples, single women and heterosexual couples with fertility problems to have children free of charge.

He started out in 2002 donating sperm to a sperm bank.

But his sperm donating career (he has a day job, by the way, as a tour guide) really hit its stride when the Netherlands, like many other European countries and Canada, banned anonymous sperm donation and he started offering his services for free on the internet.

He now donates his sperm in the "traditional way". Using the apparatus God gave him rather than a syringe. "Much better chance of conception," he says.

Take it, Benny...

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Here comes the sun

Happy Vernal Equinox.

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Source

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March 19, 2014

Black or white?

Here's an interesting illusion.

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From imgur via TYWKIWDBI

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Wait... what? (9)

Gym tells woman she's intimidating guests with 'toned body'

A California woman was asked to cover up while working out at a Bay Area gym, after staff members say she was intimidating people with her toned body.

Tiffany Austin said she was excited to get back in shape after recovering from a recent car accident. After her doctor told her it was time to start walking more, she took a tour of the Planet Fitness Gym in Richmond. On Monday she officially joined the gym and was looking forward to her first workout – but that workout lasted a quick 15 minutes.

Austin said things started out well. She hopped on a treadmill, set the speed to slow, put her earbuds in and started walking. She started to notice others staring at her, and quickly grew self-conscious but she kept on walking. That is until a staff-member stopped her.

According to Austin that staff member said, "excuse me we've had some complaints you're intimidating people with your toned body. So can you put on a shirt?"

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A day in the life

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March 18, 2014

If Google was a guy (Part 2)

As with the first one, NSFW langauge. Be sure to watch until the end.

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Let's play "HIde the egg"

Sex game ends in hospital visit

Doctors on Sunday removed a hard-boiled egg from a woman's vagina after a lovers' sex game went sour, officials from the Shanghai No. 411 Hospital of the People's Liberation Army said yesterday.

The woman's husband said he inserted the peeled egg into his wife's vagina because he wanted to try something different during sex. But soon after, the woman complained of an unusual sensation in her lower abdomen and the pair decided they should seek help.

The couple, both in their 20s, said they had tried to remove the egg using chopsticks and a spoon. When that failed, the woman tried to free it by jumping up and down.

Title ref

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Mothballed

10 Amazing Object Graveyards

taxi-graveyard.jpg

H.T. Jeff G

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March 17, 2014

'Transparent' cabin

1 of 9 images at imgur.

transparent-cabin.jpg

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It's a record (9)

Walnut Headbutting Record Cracked In Pakistan

A martial arts expert has broken a world record by cracking 155 walnuts with his head in just one minute.

Mohammad Rashid set the new record at the Punjab Youth Festival in Lahore, Pakistan.

He beat the previous record of 44 walnuts, held by an American.

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I feel lucky (8)

We've seen several of these bits before but there are many that were new to me.

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March 16, 2014

Happy 25th, everyone

Wednesday, March 12th, marked the 25th anniversary of Tim Berners-Lee's proposal for a new information management system at CERN.

Sir Tim admits that he didn't foresee kittens:

[–]totharescue 2831 points 3 days ago
What was one of the things you never thought the internet would be used for, but has actually become one of the main reasons people use the internet?

[–]timblTim Berners-Lee (WWW inventor)[S] 4053 points 3 days ago
Kittens.

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March 15, 2014

The House That Ivan Built

This is 1 of 7 images of a tourist attraction in Moscow.

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Will it crush?

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March 14, 2014

Movable bridges

This is 1 of 10 Spectacular Movable Bridges.

Most of the designs are very sleek and modern, but I picked this bridge for its steam punkish look. It's in Spain between the towns Portugalete and Las Arenas.

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Sensory feedback

Scientists replace amputee's hand ... along with its sense of touch

A man who lost his left hand in an accident nine years ago has had his sense of touch restored using a prosthetic hand surgically wired to nerves in his upper arm. During the trial, Dennis Aabo Sørensen was able to grasp objects, detect the strength of grip, distinguish shape and identify objects by touch while blindfolded. The work was carried out by scientists from École Polytechnique Fédérale de Lausanne (EPFL) and Scuola Superiore Sant'Anna (SSSA).

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Fatherly advice

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Source

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March 13, 2014

GR8 PL8

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Source

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Irony meter pegged again (3)

Nigerian leader orders audit of missing billions

LAGOS, NIGERIA –  President Goodluck Jonathan has ordered a forensic audit by international firms into some $20 billion allegedly missing from petroleum sales, following weeks of public outrage and demands by a Senate committee and the finance minister.

Jonathan's announcement came buried in a statement attacking ousted Central Bank Gov. Lamido Sanusi, insisting that his suspension last month was unrelated to his whistle-blowing about what it calls "the phantom missing funds.

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Heh (12)

I know a person who got tired of resetting his router. So he programmed an Arduino to ping google.com periodically. When the ping fails, the Arduino cycles power to the router.

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March 12, 2014

BAMF of the year

I love how the woman in the Security shirt walks out when the gun walks in (at the 2 second mark).

St. Paul bouncer who stopped gunman among police honorees

When a man holding a gun came to the door of the St. Paul bar where Eric Wasson is a security guard, Wasson was determined not to let the man get past him.

Wasson tried to defuse the situation by smiling at the man and saying, "Hey, what's going on?" He also told the man to calm down.

The man told Wasson to move and raised his gun, Wasson recalled.

Wasson worried about the more than 150 people inside Johnny Baby's on University Avenue, and he rushed the man, whose gun went off twice as they struggled. No one was struck.

"God is good," Wasson said with a smile after St. Paul Police Chief Thomas Smith presented him Wednesday with the highest award he can give a citizen, the Chief's Award for Valor.

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Wow! (4)

Paul writes (with tongue in cheek), "Amazing technology."

AIDS cured! (says Egypt's military)
As it moves to consolidate power, army claims to have developed device that defeats deadly virus… with no side effects

More than 36 million people have died from the AIDS virus across the globe, and another 35.3 million are currently living with the disease.

But they no longer have any reason to worry. The Egyptian Army has defeated the disease.

And Hepatitis-C.

Or so claimed Egyptian Gen. Dr. Ibrahim Abdel-Atti, chief of the medical branch. "We defeated AIDS, and rest assured, we defeated AIDS," Abdel-Atti said Sunday at a press conference.

"And indeed," he said, according to a translation provided by Egyptian protest group We Are All Khaled Said. "I conquered AIDS with the blessings of my Lord, glory to him, with a rate of 100%."

The country's military leader Gen. Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi and President Adly Mansour were present at the conference, according to an official statement.

Abdel-Atti said he had pioneered a method by which he could extract the disease and break it into amino acids, "so that the virus becomes nutrition for the body instead of disease. This is a miracle in scientific research."

"I take AIDS from the patient, and feed the patient on AIDS, I give it to him as a kebab skewer to feed on," he said, presumably metaphorically. "I take the disease, and I give it to him as food, and this is the top of scientific miracles."

"And I conquered the 'C,'" Abdel-Atti added, referring to the Hepatitis C.

"You will never find a patient suffering from the Hepatitis C virus after today, God willing!"

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Illustration of machine developed by Egyptian military that can cure AIDS and hepatitis C with no side-effects. (screen capture: CCTV Africa)

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Répondez, s'il vous plaît

Here's 1 of 8 Couples Who Don't Take The Whole Wedding Thing Too Seriously. (And it's not the funniest one.)

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As it happens, on Saturday we'll be attending the wedding of a couple who used this very same text in their invitation.

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March 11, 2014

All you need to know

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Source

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Not a feline to trifle with

House cat in Oregon attacks baby, traps family in bedroom

(Reuters) - A rampaging, 22-pound Oregon house cat with a "history of violence" attacked a baby and trapped a family and their dog in a bedroom at their Portland home before being captured by police, authorities said on Monday.

The Sunday evening incident began when the cat, a black-and-white Himalayan, scratched a 7-month-old baby in the face, according to Portland Police Bureau spokesman Sergeant Pete Simpson.

The baby's father kicked the cat in the backside, which sent it into a rage, and the parents and baby, along with their dog, retreated into a bedroom as the father called police, Simpson said.

Meanwhile, the cat blocked the bedroom doorway and could be heard on the 911 call screeching loudly, Simpson said.

"He said that the cat has a history of violence," Simpson said, referring to the father speaking to the 911 operator.

When officers arrived and entered the house, they saw the cat scurry into the kitchen. After it scrambled atop the refrigerator, officers snared it and put it in a travel-style kennel, Simpson said.

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Playing games with machine vision

A ping pong-playing automaton in Germany.

)

An air hockey-playing automaton in Spain.

)

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March 10, 2014

TGFB (23)

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Guess who's not going to Europe...

Daughter's Facebook boast costs former Gulliver Prep headmaster $80,000 discrimination settlement

Hey kids, file this one under things not to do on Facebook.

The Third District Court of Appeal tossed out an $80,000 discrimination settlement Wednesday between Gulliver Preparatory School and its former headmaster Patrick Snay, ruling the ex-employee and his daughter breached the terms of a confidential agreement when she took to social media to brag about it.

"Mama and Papa Snay won the case against Gulliver," Dana Snay posted days later to her 1,200 Facebook friends. "Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer. SUCK IT."

The post, seen by current and former Gulliver students, made its way back to the school's attorneys, who told the Snays they'd violated the deal. Patrick Snay last year won a Circuit Court ruling to enforce the deal, but Judge Linda Ann Wells overturned that decision Wednesday.

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Cognitive dissonance

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Source

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March 08, 2014

Fun with English

This sounds pretty funny if you put the same stress on every 'had'.

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Source

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But will "you" pass the Turing test?

If your mother does this, is she going to be angry with you when you don't 'visit'? And what if she gets hacked?

Simply Become Immortal

Eterni.me collects almost everything that you create during your lifetime, and processes this huge amount of information using complex Artificial Intelligence algorithms.

Then it generates a virtual YOU, an avatar that emulates your personality and can interact with, and offer information and advice to your family and friends, even after you pass away.

Via Gizmag

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Raptor!

Outstanding cinematography! This looks great in full-screen/HD. (I think this may have been produced by National Geographic.)

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March 07, 2014

Where's Bullwinkle and his parachute?

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That'll buy a lot of napkins

Man sues McDonald's over napkin: Second napkin denial leads to $1.5 million suit

A man who is suing McDonald's over a napkin is asking a hefty award of $1.5 million for the mental anguish he has suffered. Apparently this really caused him a great deal of distress when he was only handed one napkin with his Quarter Pounder Deluxe. Clearly everyone knows that one of those burgers are at least worthy of two napkins!

It seems when Webster Lucas found only one napkin in his bag, he went to the counter and asked for another and he was refused, claims his lawsuit. This is when this unhappy customer claimed the manager made a racist remark to him, reports the New York Daily News on March 2.

The lawsuit came about because of the one napkin, but when this manager of the Pacoima, California McDonald's refused him another, he said something that Lucas took as racist. Lucas claims the Mexican-American boss said something under his breath that sounded like, "you people," which Lucas felt was in reference to him being black.

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Brick sculptures

This is 1 of 5 images of Extraordinary Brick Sculptures by Brad Spencer

brick-sculptures.jpg

Via TYWKIWDBI

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March 05, 2014

The US Army Center of Military History

Inside The Army's Spectacular Hidden Treasure Room

The contents include weapons, personal artifacts, and an amazingly large collection of art - much of it done by soldiers.

army-store-house.jpg

H.T. Jeff

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Oh Noz!

What in the world is a "level 2 look alike firearm"? (And who hires these people to run schools?)

10-year-old suspended for making fingers into shape of gun

(CNN) -- Ten-year-old Nathan Entingh doesn't understand why he got suspended from school for three days.

According to his father, Paul Entingh, one moment the boy was "goofing off" with his friends in fifth-grade science class, and the next the teacher was taking him out of the classroom, invoking Ohio's zero-tolerance policy.

The offense? Nathan was "making his fingers look like a gun, having the thumb up and the pointed finger sticking out," said Entingh, describing the February 26 incident.

"He was pointing it at a friend's head and he said 'boom.' The kid didn't see it. No other kids saw it. But the teacher saw it," he said. "It wasn't threatening. It wasn't hostile. It was a 10-year-old kid playing."

The next morning Paul Entingh escorted his son Nathan to the principal's office, where they met with Devonshire Alternative Elementary School Principal Patricia Price.

"She said if it happened again the suspension would be longer, if not permanent," said Entingh, who also received a letter explaining the reason for Nathan's suspension as a "level 2 look alike firearm."


onoz.gif

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Running on empty

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March 04, 2014

Do you want to believe?

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It's a what?

Confusion Is An Electronic Cigarette That Also Lets You Make Phone Calls

The Supersmoker looks like your run-of-the-mill e-cigarette. Only this one comes with its own Bluetooth chip, and mic and speaker set. This means that on top of vaporizing flavoured nicotine liquids, it lets you make and receive phone calls without even taking your phone out of your pocket. You can even stream music to it, thus serving as a Bluetooth speaker. It's an odd combination and we're still trying to figure out how exactly you're supposed to use it. Do you puff and talk at the same time? Or do you take it out of your mouth and hold it to your ear? It's bizarre but that's sort of what makes it interesting as well. $110 will get you one, and it's available now.

Video here, if you're interested.

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Wait... what? (8)

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Source

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March 03, 2014

Casa Flotana

30+ images of a house with an extremely open floor plan, built on a hillside in Costa Rica.

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Source

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Timing is everything (2)

Dead Man Kicking: Mississippi Man Wakes Up In Funeral Home Right Before Embalming

A Mississippi funeral home says it found a man alive and kicking in a body bag hours after the coroner pronounced him dead.

Walter Williams was pronounced dead Wednesday night after his pulse stopped, but funeral home employees found him trying to kick through his body bag Thursday morning.

Eddie Hester, Williams’ nephew, said Friday Williams is in the hospital and breathing without the help of a respirator, but is too weak to talk.

“It’s a miracle,” Hester said in an interview. “I don’t know how long he’s gonna be here, but right now he’s here, and the whole family is glad.”

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All the vertigo you can stand

The thing that impresses me most about free-solo climbers is their optimism. How do they know they won't get most of the way up the rock and then run out of options?

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March 01, 2014

Walking man walks on by

I saw Steve Fugate on the side of the road in the Californian desert the day after Christmas. In 1999, lost his son to suicide. A few years later he lost his daughter to a drug overdose. At sixty-four years old, he has walked across the United States seven times to raise awareness for depression and suicide and to inspire people he meets to "love life." Prior to his departure, Steve ran a couple of successful car detailing businesses in Vero Beach, Florida. After fourteen years and 34,000 miles of walking, Steve continues his quest to heal his heart and the hearts of those in need.

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Rare natural phenomena

The Hessdalen Light (in Norway) is 1 of 22 Ridiculously Cool Rare Natural Phenomena That Happen on Earth.

Hessdalen-light.gif

According to Wikipedia:

The Hessdalen light is an unexplained light usually seen in the Hessdalen valley in the municipality of Holtålen in Sør-Trøndelag county, Norway.

History and description

Unusual lights have been reported here since the 1940s or earlier. Especially high activity of Hessdalen lights took place from December 1981 until the summer of 1984 when lights were observed 15–20 times per week. The frequency of the lights caused a gathering of numerous tourists staying there overnight to see the phenomenon.[1] Since then, the activity has decreased and now the lights are observed some 10–20 times per year.

The Hessdalen light most often is a bright, white or yellow light of unknown origin standing or floating above the ground level. Sometimes the light can be seen for more than one hour. There are several other types of unexplained lights observed in the Hessdalen valley.[2] [...]

Possible explanations

In spite of ongoing research there is no convincing explanation of the origin of these lights.

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