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March 12, 2014

Wow! (4)

Paul writes (with tongue in cheek), "Amazing technology."

AIDS cured! (says Egypt's military)
As it moves to consolidate power, army claims to have developed device that defeats deadly virus… with no side effects

More than 36 million people have died from the AIDS virus across the globe, and another 35.3 million are currently living with the disease.

But they no longer have any reason to worry. The Egyptian Army has defeated the disease.

And Hepatitis-C.

Or so claimed Egyptian Gen. Dr. Ibrahim Abdel-Atti, chief of the medical branch. "We defeated AIDS, and rest assured, we defeated AIDS," Abdel-Atti said Sunday at a press conference.

"And indeed," he said, according to a translation provided by Egyptian protest group We Are All Khaled Said. "I conquered AIDS with the blessings of my Lord, glory to him, with a rate of 100%."

The country's military leader Gen. Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi and President Adly Mansour were present at the conference, according to an official statement.

Abdel-Atti said he had pioneered a method by which he could extract the disease and break it into amino acids, "so that the virus becomes nutrition for the body instead of disease. This is a miracle in scientific research."

"I take AIDS from the patient, and feed the patient on AIDS, I give it to him as a kebab skewer to feed on," he said, presumably metaphorically. "I take the disease, and I give it to him as food, and this is the top of scientific miracles."

"And I conquered the 'C,'" Abdel-Atti added, referring to the Hepatitis C.

"You will never find a patient suffering from the Hepatitis C virus after today, God willing!"

Illustration of machine developed by Egyptian military that can cure AIDS and hepatitis C with no side-effects. (screen capture: CCTV Africa)

Posted by joke du jour at March 12, 2014 06:02 PM

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