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December 24, 2014

To save us all from Thetans' power

The Scientology Christmas Catalog Is Totally Insane

Finding the right gift for everyone in your family can be a real bitch. Your mom just wants a phone call. Your dad wants you to find a job. These are not easy people to shop for. But what about your second cousin who moved to L.A., got introduced to Scientology by an actor friend, joined the church to make connections, and found himself amassing a fortune in credit-card debt while digging out a new infinity pool for David Miscavige? I would argue that he's the hardest relative to shop for. After all, what do get for you the man who has nothing?

Thankfully, the Church of Scientology has compiled this handy catalog of L. Ron-approved holiday merchandise. Please note the ORDER NOW—PRICES INCREASE ON JANUARY 1ST banner across the cover of this thing. Normally, prices go down after peak shopping season. Ah, but in the Church of Scientology, the holiday means a generous discount on being blatantly defrauded. SO ACT NOW BEFORE THAT E-METER TRIPLES IN PRICE!

Posted by joke du jour at December 24, 2014 06:02 PM

« Nice decorating job | Main | Merry Christmas from Chiron Beta Prime »

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