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January 31, 2015

Start your engines

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No place for a stuck door

Delta: Pilot Locked Out Of Cockpit In Flight From MN To Las Vegas

MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) — A Delta Air Lines flight traveling from Minneapolis-St. Paul to Las Vegas has landed safely at its destination after the pilot was unable to reenter the cockpit, according to the airline.

According to a statement from Delta, prior to the plane’s final approach the captain was not able to enter the flight deck due to a door jam. The First Officer, or co-pilot, was able to then take control and land the aircraft safely without incident.

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Home dentistry

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January 28, 2015

Nathan Road, Hong Kong

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Goin' to the chapel

This article is a couple of months old now. I wonder if the wedding happened.

Charles Manson Set to Tie the Knot With 26-Year-Old Woman

Mass murderer Charles Manson is set to tie the knot with a 26-year-old woman who has spent years trying to exonerate him.

According to the Associated Press, a marriage license was issued Nov. 7 in Kings County, Calif. for the 80-year-old and Afton Elaine Burton, who goes by the name "Star."

No date has been set, but a wedding coordinator has been assigned by the prison to handle the nuptials, and the couple has until early February to get married before they would have to reapply.

Manson is imprisoned in California State Prison, Corcoran. His bride-to-be lives nearby and maintains several websites advocating his innocence.

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WTF in Saudi Arabia

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January 27, 2015

Cats rule

These dudes are some serious ailurophiles.

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Life insurance for your data

The Deathswitch

Imagine that you die with computer passwords in your head, leaving coworkers without access to critical files. Imagine your loved ones cannot find your bank accounts, or that you die with a secret that you longed to reveal during your lifetime. A deathswitch is an automated system that prompts you for your password on a regular schedule to make sure you are still alive. When you do not enter your password for some period of time, the system prompts you again several times. With no reply, the computer deduces you are dead or critically disabled, and your pre-scripted messages are automatically emailed to the individuals you designated.

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Say that again

This is a thing: The Jewish-Japanese Sex and Cook Book and How to Raise Wolves

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January 26, 2015

DIY failures

Here's 1 of the 25 Worst Do-It-Yourself Auto Repair Fails.

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The Beagle had landed

Beage-2 Lander Found On Mars

The UK-led Beagle-2 Mars lander, which hitched a ride on ESA's Mars Express mission and was lost on Mars since 2003, has been found in images taken by a NASA orbiter at the Red Planet.

Beagle-2 was released from its mother craft on 19 December 2003 and was due to land six days later. But nothing was heard from the lander after its scheduled touchdown, and searches by Mars Express and NASA's Mars Odyssey mission were fruitless.

Now, over a decade later, the lander has been identified in images taken by the high-resolution camera on NASA's Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter. The lander is seen partially deployed on the surface, showing that the entry, descent and landing sequence worked and it did indeed successfully land on Mars on Christmas Day 2003.

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Facebook stalking

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January 25, 2015

Close enough? (2)

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It can be done

Man Finds Needle In Haystack

Sven Sachsalber, an Italian artist who lives in New York City, is known for playful conceptual art, like sitting in a tree and sawing it apart while still in it, or filming himself eating poisonous mushrooms in the woods. His latest, a jumbo version of a previous exhibit, is a classic: find a needle in a haystack.

Taking place at the Palais de Tokyo in Paris, the president of the museum hid a single silver needle in an enormous stack of hay, one far taller than the artist himself. Sachsalber gave himself 24 hours to find the needle by hand, during which the entire event would be broadcasted on French TV. His method is pretty simple: take a handful of hay, not too large a handful, fold it a couple times and bend it, and, theoretically, if the non-pliable needle was in that handful, he’d feel it. Here’s the performance in action.

Amazingly, Sachsalber managed to find the needle, and with a few hours to spare, reports MSNBC. After about 18 hours, in the early evening of Friday, he emerged from his position next to the haystack, whooping, as he brandished the needle.

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It's a Jeep Thing

...we wouldn't understand.

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Source

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January 19, 2015

Beer tasting results

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Thanks but no thanks

Have sex with your iPad thanks to the new sex toy no-one asked for

Many of us have become inseparable from our smartphones and tablets, but if you're looking to take the relationship to the next step and actually 'f*ck your iPad', sex toy brand Fleshlight has now made this possible for some reason.


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Old dog learns a new trick

Who's a good girl?

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January 17, 2015

Dash cam confessionals

Hey! Both hands on the wheel, pal!

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Here's a brand name I never expected to hear again

The luxury-goods company Shinola is capitalizing on Detroit

DETROIT — You may not know you-know-what from Shinola, but no worries. Shinola does.

No, not the World War II-era shoe polish that gave rise to that unprintable colloquialism. This Shinola is a luxury-goods producer that chose to start up in this struggling city, and less than two years later has become an innovative giant in branding, storytelling marketing and, above all, understanding the consumer zeitgeist, what people want at this very moment.

This Shinola knows watches, bikes, leather goods, pet toys and, yes, shoe polish. Perhaps what this company knows best is that a little consumer guilt — or "responsibility," if you prefer — can translate into a lot of company dollars, a projected $80 million in gross sales for its first 18 months of production.

The Shinola story is all about marketing Detroit, selling Detroit and attempting to build the first great nonautomotive brand out of the city in decades — and watching buyers respond. And respond they have. Bill Clinton has purchased more than a dozen $550 Shinola watches, and he has hawked the company's story in speeches, declaring: "We need more American success stories like Shinola in Detroit."

Headquartered on the fifth floor of the former General Motors Argonaut research building, now an arts college, Shinola, in an amazing piece of marketing legerdemain, promotes this hardscrabble, poverty-pocked city as a luxury brand, selling its $475 to $1,500 watches in some very non-Detroit-like places: New York's Tribeca, London's Soho, suburban Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus locations, the Abu Dhabi airport, the cult Parisian store Colette and, as of last Saturday, in a holiday pop-up shop on the gentrified corridor of 14th Street in Northwest Washington. Early next year, a permanent Washington store will open nearby.

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Heaven & Hell

An old joke, nicely rendered. I don't know where this photo was taken but if our contributor (Jeff G) took it, I'll guess somewhere in the Floriday Keys.

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January 15, 2015

Night over New York

These are the most amazing aerial photos of New York ever, period. (This is 1 of 9 images.)

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Woof!

Florida sheriff's rug accidentally printed 'In Dog We Trust'

LARGO, Fla. • The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office in Florida has gone to the dogs. Well, at least its rugs have.

Department spokeswoman Cecilia Barreda said Wednesday that a new, $500 rug at the sheriff's administration building said "In Dog We Trust" instead of "In God We Trust."

The forest green rug with the sheriff's yellow badge was in the entrance area for a couple of months when the error was discovered Wednesday by a deputy.

H.T. Paul B

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Beach bot

Quick, somebody write a printer driver for this and let's hook it up with Bluetooth.

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January 14, 2015

Police chase in Canada

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Turning 30

From 30 Things Turning 30 in 2015 at MentalFloss:

1. Back to the Future

The highest-grossing film of 1985 featured Michael J. Fox as a teenager traveling ... wait for it ... 30 years back in time. Now that it's 30 years later, the film holds up, though doing the math makes us feel extremely old (today's 1985 is as distant in the past as 1985's 1955).

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She wants to be sure she gets a picture

1 of 36 images in A World Transfixed by Screens

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Miss Nord-Pas-de-Calais Camille Cerf takes a selfie with her smartphone, surrounded by photographers, after winning the Miss France 2015 beauty contest on December 6 in Orleans. Guillaume Souvant/AFP/Getty Images

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January 13, 2015

Obsolescence

1 of 10 Jobs That No Longer Exist

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Lector Who Entertained Factory Workers

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Nice work if you can get it (13)

Government fires employee who skipped work for 24 years

New Delhi: AK Verma, an executive engineer at the Central Public Works Department, was fired after last appearing for work in December 1990.

"He went on seeking extension of leave, which was not sanctioned, and defied directions to report to work," the government said in a statement on Thursday.

Even after an inquiry found him guilty of "wilful absence from duty" in 1992, it took another 22 years and the intervention of a cabinet minister to remove him, the government said.

India's labour laws, which the World Bank says are the most restrictive anywhere, make it hard to sack staff for any reason other than criminal misconduct.

Take it, Benny...

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Clever advertising (6)

H.T. Jeff G

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January 12, 2015

Beer train running

en Colombia

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Some thanks

Soldier shot trying to surprise wife with breakfast

FAYETTEVILLE, NC – Recent break-ins may be to blame for a woman allegedly shooting her soldier husband while he was trying to surprise her Friday morning.

WTVD reports that the Fort Bragg soldier was shot at couple's home in the 1100 block of Christina Street around 10:15 a.m. [...]

According to Fayetteville police, 28-year-old Zia Segule, had left for work when his wife, 27-year-old Tiffany Segule, crawled back into bed and activated the home's alarm system.

But when Zia Segule later came back home to surprise his wife with breakfast, he walked in through the front door and triggered the home's alarm system.

Police said Tiffany Segule shot her husband through the couple's closed bedroom door.

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Awkward dates

#awkwarddate

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January 09, 2015

Rainbow and cloud

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Source

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Thieves steal house

Thieves steal house

A San Antonio, Texas couple had build a 'tiny house' to commit themselves to 'green living' but the entire home ended up being stolen.

Casey Friday says, "It was depressing, devastating, made me angry and shocked all at the same time."

An advocate for so-called green living, Friday and his wife had invested 2 1/2 years and $35,000 into building a tiny home from the ground up. [...]

After a local TV station reported on the theft, the house was reported being found on the south side of town. Neighbors had apparently seen it for days but did not know it was stolen. [...]

As for how the house was stolen, it was on a trailer that the thief simply attached to a truck and drove off with.

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How it's done (6)

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January 08, 2015

Learned too late

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News from Flori-duh (2)

Here's 1 of 49 Crazy Headlines That Could Only Be Created by Florida Man

46. Florida Man removes facial tattoos with welding grinder.


Tampa Bay Times:
Just before the 2012 Labor Day weekend, Eriks bought gauze and hydrogen peroxide, 18 Budweisers and a bottle of Sailor Jerry rum. He'd asked his friend Brian to do it. Brian was, after all, a certified welder. The worst part was when Brian poured rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide on the wound and scrubbed the dead skin with a steel wool pad. Tears trickled down Eriks' face, but he didn't scream.

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Sky cycle

A self-powered ride at an amusement park in Japan (widely but wrongly described as a pedal-powered roller coaster - the entire track is at the same level).

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Source

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January 07, 2015

Iceland

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What's in a name (6)

My emphasis.

Amanda Miranda Panda, and Accomplice, Charged With Shoplifting, Stealing From Cars In Store Parking Lot

A man and woman, he's from Middleton and she's from Caldwell, are behind bars at the Ada County Jail after being accused of some holiday shoplifting.

Boise police were summoned to the area of Milwaukee Street and Franklin Road Monday night. That's where the suspects allegedly shoplifted items from stores and burglarized at least two cars in a department store parking lot. Police said as they attempted to question the male suspect, he took off on foot but was caught a short time later. The woman was arrested without incident. [...]

The male suspect is 18-year-old Tristen Parsons and the 18-year-old female's name is—and this is no joke—Amanda Miranda Panda. They are each charged with three felony counts of burglary. Parsons is also charged with resisting and obstructing officers.

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BeerPongBot

And it looks like you'd even have time to drink the beers. (That ranging system sure is slow.)

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January 06, 2015

Hi-Yo, Silver

Don't know if I'd want to ride it against the wind.

The Seahorse(tm) provides the ultimate in recreation, exercise and relaxation, allowing you to cycle, boat and float! Take your Seahorsetm out fishing or even camp overnight in the water on its comfortable trampoline. Watch birds or dolphins, snorkel, or bask in the sun. Seahorse lets you do it all!

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What we learn from the past

...is that we never learn from the past.

Will You Float on Zero Gravity Day? Don't Get Fooled Again

Don't be fooled by a new astronomy hoax making the rounds on social media websites.

A widely shared story is claiming that Jan. 4 is "Zero Gravity Day," a date when people on Earth will be able to experience weightlessness while on the planet. The bogus post now appearing on Facebook and other websites at first blush looks legitimate. It shows a Twitter message that was seemingly posted by NASA and says a planetary alignment "will cause a gravitational fluctuation that will leave you weightless" at 9:47 a.m. PT on Jan. 4.

Other reports attributed the details regarding this supposed alignment to the late British astronomer Patrick Moore, who supposedly stated, "At exactly 9:47 PST AM on Jan. 4, Pluto will pass directly behind Jupiter, in relation to Earth. This rare alignment will mean that the combined gravitational force of the two planets would exert a stronger tidal pull, temporarily counteracting the Earth's own gravity and making people virtually weightless." [...]

This story is completely false. In fact, it is a repurposing of an old April Fools' Day joke perpetrated by Moore in 1976. [...]

On April Fools' Day in 1976, Moore told listeners that they'd float momentarily if they jumped in the air at 9:47 a.m. that day.

Afterward, dozens of listeners phoned in to say the experiment worked.

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New Year's Day

Grand Canyon Enters New Year Covered in Snow

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January 05, 2015

Cloud city

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Walk a mile in his shoes

Judge accepts sneakers instead of bail from Framingham man

FRAMINGHAM, Mass. (MyFoxBoston.com) -- A Framingham man couldn't post bail, so a judge allowed him to pay with shoes.

Jason Duval, 39, told Judge Douglas Stoddart that he didn't have money to post bail Friday, but he would be willing to use his new Nike sneakers as payment, according to the Metro West Daily News. He got the kicks as a present for Christmas and said they're worth about $85.

"OK, we'll take them," Stoddart reportedly said. [...]

The judge said he didn't want to release him without bail because he didn't believe that Duval would ever pay.

The judge suggested that Duval could go to jail for a few days to do away with the court costs, but Duval didn't like that option.

"I'll give you a chance to be creative," Stoddart reportedly told him. "If you can come up with a creative idea to convince me that you'll come back, I'll work with you."

That's when Duval offered his shoes for payment and Stoddart accepted. Duval can have his sneakers back after he pays $100.

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Unclear about chirality

You can admire her persistence, if nothing else.

Title ref

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January 03, 2015

And the crowd goes wild

The video is from 2007 (via Now I Know).

One Note Secret Show on George Street, St. John's, Newfoundland Canada.


The White Stripes
have been doing 'secret shows' on their Canadian Tour that they announce only on their website within hours of playing. This was totally free, and everyone knew it was a 'One Note Show'.

They put on an incredible show later on that night at Mile One Stadium. So whether you think this show was stupid or not, most of the fans on the street thought it was hilarious, and were glad to be a part of it.


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It's the wrong Joseph, Gromit

Boy acts in nativity play dressed as Stalin

A 12-year-old schoolboy turned up for his nativity play dressed up as Stalin after mixing up his Josephs.

Ilya Gavrichenko, of St Petersburg in Russia, went home and told his parents that he had landed the role of Joseph Stalin.

They got him a uniform and moustache to make him look like the former Soviet dictator and he looked the part.

The mistake wasn't realised until the day of the play by which time it was too late.

With no replacement outfit available, Ilya went out dressed as Joseph Stalin instead of Joseph of Nazareth.

"We even got him a perfect moustache," his father, Fedor, said. "We were all ready for him to be a success.

"Each time he went out on stage, the mothers were in hysterics, crying and yowling from somewhere under their chairs.

Title ref

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A headline writer's fun

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January 02, 2015

There's a reason for everything

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Use your turn signal, Art

Granite City man finds out what's been hidden in his arm for 51 years

CREVE COEUR • Unlike the times Betty Lampitt gave birth, on Wednesday morning she was the one praying the rosary in a corner of the waiting room. It was just an out-patient surgery procedure. And she said her husband of nearly 50 years was quite seasoned. [...]

Still, she was concerned. He had to go under anesthesia to have a foreign object removed from his arm.

The same left arm was injured back in 1963, not long before they'd met on a blind date. Arthur, a real estate agent at the time, was on his way to show a house when he smashed a brand new Thunderbird head-on into a huge truck. [...]

Then, about 10 or 15 years ago, something odd happened during a visit to the courthouse in Jerseyville, Ill., for work. Arthur's arm set off the metal detector. A doctor's X-ray indicated that a slender object, about the size of a pencil, was stuck in his arm. But because it didn't cause pain, and he had full use of his arm, Arthur was told to leave it be. [...]

"Everything was fine until it started to get bigger," Betty said. "The arm started bulging."

Speculation spread about what the foreign object was that seemed to be working its way out. Perhaps a medical instrument unwittingly stitched up in the emergency room back in 1963?

Arthur, 75, unearthed a collection of old photographs of the mangled Thunderbird that a friend took at the scene — the same friend who took Arthur and Betty's wedding photographs. He noticed the metal blinker lever was missing from the left side of the steering column.

Evidence in hand, Arthur was sure what he was about to deliver at the surgery center.

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The moon in 2015

This visualization shows the Moon's phase and libration at hourly intervals throughout 2015, as viewed from the northern hemisphere. Each frame represents one hour. In addition, this visualization shows the Moon's orbit position, sub-Earth and subsolar points, distance from the Earth at true scale, and labels of craters near the terminator. To learn more about this visualization, or to see what the Moon will look like at any hour in 2015, visit http://svs.gsfc.nasa.gov/goto?4236

Via PoliticalCalculations

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January 01, 2015

New Year's in Manila

Light 'em if you got 'em, I guess.

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Who owns what?

If the Word 'How' Is Trademarked, Does This Headline Need a ™?

Who owns How?

No, that's not a line from a Dr. Seuss book or an Abbott and Costello routine.

It's the question at the center of a bitter legal battle pitting a best-selling author and management guru against America's largest Greek yogurt manufacturer.

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More top pix

The Top 100 'Pictures of the Day' for 2014 from TwistedSifter

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