August 27, 2014

Bathroom sweets

Completely Chocolate Bathroom Can Be Yours for Just $133,000

(NEW YORK) -- Got a spare $133,000? Consider purchasing this entirely edible chocolate bathroom. We're talking a bathtub, toilet, sink, basin and bidet all made of 100 percent Belgian chocolate.

Created as a funny response to the fact that online shoppers looking to buy a new bathroom suite are commonly misspelling the word and searching for bathroom "sweets," Bathrooms.com partnered with British chocolatier Choccywoccydoodah to create this lavish lavatory.

"We decided to answer their search, literally," Bathrooms.com CEO Ian Monk said in a press release. "[It] was initially a bit of fun, but once we realized it was possible to actually make, we decided to buy Bathroomsweets.com and list the product."

Yes, that's right; you can actually order this bathroom and get it shipped worldwide (note: it's not functional). The full suite retails for £80,000, or around $133,000 and clocks in at a whopping 9.4 million calories. If you're feeling a little thrifty, you can also purchase items a la carte, like the toilet for a mere $23,000 and 980,000 calories.

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August 26, 2014

Not-so-permanent ink

Tattoo removal business booming as inked teens grow up

The year is 2001. Eighteen-year-old Rees Barnett impulsively walks into a tattoo parlour and picks the trendiest designs off the wall display: a tribal arm band and a shoulder tribal tattoo. But over the years, both those symbols quickly went from cool to ​cliché, leaving Barnett with tattoo regret. "Unfortunately, I can't blame it on booze," he said. "[It's] one of those bad decisions that you wake up and realize, oh crap, I'm stuck with these."

Now, at age 32, the pension fund analyst is erasing this part of his past at Precision Laser Tattoo Removal in Toronto. A technician zaps his two tattoos with a laser while Barnett endures much more pain than when he got inked. "It almost feels like you're getting electrocuted, pinched all at once and times that by 10." There's also the painful price tag. In total, he'll spend an about $5,000 on multiple treatments over the course of about a year. The original tattoos cost him around $400.

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August 25, 2014

I'm betting he didn't get married after all

Groom fakes his own death to get out of wedding

Pro-tip: When faking one's death to get out of a wedding, do a much better job than this guy.

We've all been there—the relationship isn't working out, but you just can't find the nerve to break up. It's not easy. Breaking up with someone and firing someone are probably the two most dreaded conversations a person can have. But there's no way out of it—you have to steel your nerve and go in head first. Unless you happen to be Tucker Blandford, in which case you can just fake your own death.

Blandford wanted to call off his engagement to British fiancee Alex Lanchester. The two had met in college in Connecticut when Lanchester was studying in the States for a year. They got engaged last year before Lanchester returned home at the end of semester, and their plan was to get married in Connecticut last week.

Apparently getting cold feet and unable to face the conversation himself, Tucker decided to fake his own death to get out of the engagement. Where it gets really sociopathic, however, is that he called Lanchester himself, assuming a fake voice and pretending to be his father, to tell his fiancee that he was dead.
groom faked death to cancel wedding Groom fakes his own death to get out of wedding

"Alex, this is Tucker's dad," he told her. "There's no easy way to say this… I am sorry to say that Tucker is dead." Alex says Tucker went on to say he'd been "suffering from depression and had thrown himself in front of a car."

Understandably, she freaked out. She then called Tucker's mother to give condolences and was doubly shocked to learn that she had no idea what Alex was talking about and that Tucker was indeed alive and well. She was triply shocked to learn that Tucker's mom had no idea they were engaged.

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August 22, 2014

TGFB (26)

Bacon-fueled motorcycle makes cross-country trip

When biodiesel was all the rage a few years ago, it was a running joke that you could get behind a car powered by cooking oil scavenged from the deep fryer at a local fast food joint and get a whiff of French fries. In the last few weeks if you were driving between Minnesota and California, you may have been passed by a motorcycle with an exhaust that smelled like fried bacon.

Hormel, the brand synonymous with packaged meat products, created a motorcycle fueled by bacon grease and sponsored a road trip from the company's headquarters in Austin, Minnesota, to San Diego. The destination: the Hormel Black Label Bacon Fest that takes place over the last week of August.

But as any road-tripper knows, the real destination is the journey. Or in this case, the chance for Hormel to promote one of its premier products through a series of videos that document a "Driven by Bacon" publicity stunt.

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August 21, 2014

Mind your tongue

In South Carolina -- part of the same country where it's hard to avoid hearing that word in rap lyrics.

No Fucking Way: Woman Arrested for Cursing in Grocery Store

According to a witness, Danielle Wolf cursed at her two little girls last week because they were squeezing the bread at a Kroger supermarket in North Augusta, South Carolina. "Stop squishing the fucking bread," Wolf reportedly said. Wolf says she was talking not to her children but to her husband, who was recklessly tossing frozen pizzas into their shopping cart. Either way, she committed a misdemeanor, so police had no choice but to handcuff her in front of her family and cart her off to the station.

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August 20, 2014

Just take the money and drive

Drivers Voice Frustrations At Being Mistaken For Uber

SAN FRANCISCO (CBS SF) – Drivers in the Bay Area, New York and other big cities say they are increasingly experiencing unwanted passengers climbing in the back seat of their cars.

Dozens of people have taken to social media to complain about total strangers assuming that they were working for the San Francisco-based cab-alternative. The system, which operates in 44 countries, requires drivers to create an account with payment info before they can hail a ride using the company's app.

Some drivers say Uber users have mistaken them more than once for their ride.

Based on Tweets, Prius and SUV drivers appear to be the primary victims of the confusion.

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August 18, 2014

Okay, here's the plan...

Florida man allegedly takes woman on date so friend can steal her purse

BOCA RATON , Fla., Aug. 7 (UPI) -- A Florida man may not have been looking for a cheap date, but he was apparently hoping to make a few bucks by going on one.

Boca Raton police responded after a woman called and reported that a man came up and snatched her purse while she was making out with a friend on the beach.

Neither of the kissers were identified, but the woman told officers that the individual who had dropped her and her date off at the beach, Daniel Eisemann, was the man who took her purse.

She had never met Eisemann before he arrived with her date to pick her up.

After the 27-year-old snatched the purse, which contained her cell phone and $500 cash, the woman's date took off after him, the Sun Sentinel reported.

When he didn't come back, the woman sought assistance and called police.

The woman's date, Eisemann and another man were found at a nearby Red Roof Inn.

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August 15, 2014

Payback time (6)

Exotic Dancers Protest Topless At Ohio Church

WARSAW, Ohio - Exotic dancers from a central Ohio strip club have protested topless at a local church in a demonstration that included a few heated verbal exchanges between dancers and church members.

The Coshocton Tribune reports no major problems were reported Sunday outside the Warsaw church that the strip club's owner says has protested his business for years.

Club owner Thomas George has said church members have picketed outside his club on weeknights. The Rev. Bill Dunfee, the church's pastor, said earlier that the Sunday demonstration signaled that churchgoers' protests at the club are working.

The newspaper reports that six bare-breasted women marched from a nearby corner to the edge of the church's parking lot at one point Sunday.

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August 14, 2014

Asleep at the wheel

Asleep in the Cockpit? Flight Takes Scary Plunge as Pilot Dozes Off

A plane full of sleeping passengers: a tranquil flight. A cockpit full of sleeping pilots: a potential disaster.

Air regulators in India are investigating a scary incident on August 8 when a Jet Airways Boeing 777-300 dropped more than 5,000 feet while its pilot was dozing off.

The incident occurred on a flight from Mumbai to Brussels. The Times of India reports the pilot was taking what's called a "controlled rest" as called for by international standards for long flights. The co-pilot was supposed to handle flying responsibilities while the pilot was asleep. But she reportedly says she was working on her flight tablet and didn't notice when the plane descended from its assigned level of 34,000 feet as they were flying over Turkey.

Fortunately Turkish air traffic controllers did notice and alerted the pilots to climb back toward their assigned altitude.

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August 13, 2014

It was so romantic

Boyfriend welcomes lover home with romantic candle message - and wrecks home in blaze

A romantic boyfriend lit dozens of candles to welcome his girlfriend back - and wrecked their home in a fire.

Amanj Yassen, 29, had not seen Jana Stankeviciute, 25, for a month while she was on holiday in Latvia.

Eager to show his love was still burning, he arranged dozens of tealights on his bedroom floor in the shape of a heart with an arrow through it and spelt out her name.

But when he closed the door to hide the surprise the carpet caught fire and the flames tore through the entire room.

Amanj tried to tackled the blaze himself but was beaten back by flames and smoke and had to dial 999 for the fire brigade.

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August 12, 2014

TL;DL

Calgary radio station cuts songs in half to appeal to short attention spans

At what point have you had enough of Katy Perry's latest hit? One Calgary radio station is now taking it upon itself to pinpoint that moment.

Top 40 station 90.3 Amp Radio has started to cut off the songs played on air halfway through, allowing for twice the number of songs to be played each hour in a bid to cater to their listeners' ever-shortening attention spans.

"We've got so much more choice, we've got less time (and) our attention spans are shorter," Amp Radio's Paul Kaye told CTV Calgary. "We are observing people with their iPods, playing their favourite songs and skipping them before the end because they get bored."

The station used to play about 12 songs an hour, but the new 'QuickHitz' format allows for 24 songs each hour by re-editing the tracks.

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August 11, 2014

Cold cash

Man gets paid with buckets of coins in settlement with insurance firm

When Los Angeles-area resident Andres Carrasco reached a settlement with Adriana's Insurance, he expected a check, but instead received more than a dozen buckets containing at least $21,000 in coins.

Eight representatives with the insurance company delivered 16 to 18 paint buckets filled with quarters, nickels, dimes and pennies to Carrasco's attorney's office as part of a settlement that had to be paid by July 25.

"It's unfortunate that a business like that would use some of these tactics," said the attorney, Antonio Gallo.

Calls to Adriana's Insurance, based in Rancho Cucamonga, were not returned.

The settlement was the result of a 2012 lawsuit in which Carrasco alleged that an employee at the company assaulted him when he tried to purchase insurance, his attorney said.

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August 08, 2014

The old Dead Koala trick

Dead koala with $50 bill in its mouth baffles Aussie investigators

Australian police are investigating after someone dropped a dead koala with a $50 bill in its mouth at a station in Victoria on the weekend.

Sgt. Jason Von Tunk told ABC News he was working along Saturday night when he heard a thud. As he left the station, he thought he was about to be ambushed.

"The old, put a dead koala out in the middle of the driveway situation and then get ambushed," Von Tunk said. "But when I saw the $50 in its mouth, that made me even more curious."

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August 07, 2014

Just when you thought...

...they couldn't get more obnoxious.

Armpit hair selfies are taking over Chinese social media

Back in March, Madonna's Instagram photo of her armpit hair was quickly picked apart—both praised and criticized—by the digital pack. Everyone on social media suddenly had opinions about it. Are we really, as a culture, this divided on body hair?

A recent competition in China put that into perspective. Women are submitting photos of their unshaven underarms, and starting a conversation about it.

According to Rocket News, the photos are submissions for a best armpit hair selfie competition, the campaign for which appeared on Sina Weibo, China's microblogging platform, on July 17. In less than a week, it had thousands of submissions and millions of views.

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August 06, 2014

Eat a peach

Peaches are being sold with tiny knickers on them in China

ENTERPRISING FRUIT sellers in China are putting tiny pairs of knickers on peaches, and selling them as women's bottoms.

Did you have to read that sentence twice? Well, perhaps this photo will settle your confusion:


eat-a-peach.jpg

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August 05, 2014

He's no Benjamin Franklin

Man struck trying to videotape lightning: 'I made possibly the world's worst decision'

A man says he can't help but laugh after surviving a lightning strike that hit him while he was standing in the middle of an open field at Green Lake trying to capture the storm on video Saturday.

"I made possibly the world's worst decision," Robb Montejano told KIRO Radio's Dori Monson. "I'm standing there in the middle of an open field, the highest point in a lightning storm, and I'm trying to video it."

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August 04, 2014

Signs and wonders

Lake mysteriously shows in drought-torn Tunisia

Local shepherds in the drought-stricken region of Gafsa in the African country of Tunisia recently stumbled upon an incredible and mysterious sight: a beautiful lake, which emerged out of nowhere.

Some locals are calling it a miracle. Others are calling it a curse.

Hundreds of people are flocking to the new lake dubbed Gafsa Beach (a.k.a. Lac de Gafsa) to go swimming, diving, and scuba diving, or to simply find relief from the heat, this despite warnings by local authorities who claim the lake could be radioactive.

("Drought-torn"? That's an odd idiom.)

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August 01, 2014

It's all in how you say it?

Oak Ridge cancels class to reduce Southern accents

(AP) Some employees at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee complained about a class aimed at teaching them how to reduce their Southern accents. Now, managers are calling the whole thing off.

The course had been advertised as a way to feel confident in meetings, when one might need to speak with a more neutral accent. The class was touted as a way to "be remembered for what you say and not how you say it." [...]

ORNL spokesman David Keim said the class "probably wasn't presented in the right way" and managers decided to cancel it after other employees complained.

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July 31, 2014

At least that's settled

Chubby Checker, HP settle lawsuit over penis-measuring app

(Reuters) - The singer Chubby Checker has settled a lawsuit in which he accused Hewlett-Packard Co of using his trademarked name without permission on a software app that purported to measure the size of a man's penis.

HP denied liability in agreeing to settle with Checker, whose given name is Ernest Evans, but agreed not to make future use of his stage name, likeness or related trademarks. [...]

In his February 2013 lawsuit against HP and its Palm unit, the singer objected to HP having in October 2006 begun online sales of "The Chubby Checker" app, which purported to let women estimate the size of a man's genitals based on his shoe size.

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July 29, 2014

There's no place like jail

Berrimah inmates break out of prison, then return after getting drunk

At least four prisoners in Darwin are suspected of repeatedly escaping the prison, getting drunk, then voluntarily returning to the facility in the hope no one would notice.

The ABC understands authorities were checking whether low-security prisoners have repeatedly escaped from a work release centre at Berrimah jail for a few hours after a 7pm headcount.

"It would appear that a couple of prisoners have jumped the fence but returned," a spokesman for NT Department of Correctional Services said.

Authorities were believed to suspect the group, and possibly other prisoners, were from time to time jumping a cyclone fence, getting picked up from a main road by partners and given alcohol and marijuana, before breaking back into prison a few hours later.

The deception was eventually discovered shortly after midnight in the early hours of Sunday July 20 when five drunk prisoners were found fighting over a mobile phone.

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July 28, 2014

You can imagine the reviews

for this book at Amazon:

Learning to Play With a Lion's Testicles: Unexpected Gifts From the Animals of Africa

The cheeky title of Melissa Haynes's story of adventure in Africa, Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles, earned the book some big publicity on NBC-TV/Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on September 4,2013 where it topped the show's list of "Titles Not to Read" for September 2013. Melissa's book was also a big smash on the March 11, 2014 Ellen Show, where Ellen and guest Ricky Gervais highlighted the book throughout the entire hour.


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July 25, 2014

A versatile laptop

Police: Texas man had crossbow, tomahawk to kill ex's husband in Australia

A Texas man was arrested Tuesday in New South Wales, Australia in connection to an incident where he is accused of attacking his ex-wife's current husband with a crossbow and a tomahawk.

Jeffery Hooten, 49, allegedly flew to Australia last week to kill his ex-wife Stephanie Williams' current husband, Greg Williams, according to the Daily Telegraph.

Police say that Hooten fired a bolt from his crossbow at Williams, who was able to block the bolt with his laptop. Hooten is then accused of charging at Williams with a tomahawk, striking him in the head.

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July 24, 2014

Road rage karma

I'd have paid admission to see this.

Man run over by own truck during road rage incident in Florida

GAINESVILLE, Fla. • A man in Florida apparently got a dose of road rage karma when police say he was run over by his own pickup truck after getting out to bang on another driver's window. [...]

The Gainesville Sun reports Joseph Carl, 48, had been drinking and drove into a vehicle stopped at a red light. He got out of his truck without putting it in park and began banging on the window of a woman's car. When the frightened woman drove away, there was nothing holding his truck in place.

The truck rolled into Carl. A police report says he was taken to the hospital where he was treated for fractures in his hand and foot.

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July 23, 2014

They're just jealous

That they didn't think of it.

Aichi politician reprimanded for 'punctured condoms' population proposal

NAGOYA – A member of the Shinshiro Municipal Assembly in Aichi Prefecture proposed distributing "punctured condoms" to married residents to bolster the city's dwindling population, the legislature's secretariat said Friday.

Independent Assemblyman Tomonaga Osada was verbally reprimanded Wednesday for the controversial proposal last month and told his remarks "lacked dignity for an assembly member and consideration" by the assembly chairman, who decided to delete them from the minutes of the June 18 meeting.

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July 22, 2014

On the horns of a lawn sprinkler

California drought doesn't end brown lawn warnings

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Laura Whitney and her husband, Michael Korte, don't know whether they're being good citizens during a drought or scofflaws.

On the same day the state approved mandatory outdoor watering restrictions with the threat of $500 fines, the Southern California couple received a letter from their city threatening a $500 penalty for not watering their brown lawn.

It's brown because of their conservation, which, besides a twice-a-week lawn watering regimen, includes shorter showers and larger loads of laundry.

They're encouraged by the state's new drought-busting, public service slogan: Brown is the new green.

The city of Glendora sees it differently.

"Despite the water conservation efforts, we wish to remind you that limited watering is still required to keep landscaping looking healthy and green," says the letter, which gives Korte and Whitney 60 days to restore their lawn.

They're among residents caught in the middle of conflicting government messages as the need for conservation clashes with the need to preserve attractive neighborhoods.

"My friends in Los Angeles got these letters warning they could be fined if they water, and I got a letter warning that I could be fined for not watering," Whitney said. "I felt like I was in an alternate universe."

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July 21, 2014

Talk about performance anxiety

Woman Convicted Of Shooting Lover Over Poor Sex Performance Granted Bond

SOUTHFIELD (WWJ) – Oakland County prosecutors are fighting the release of a 58-year-old Southfield woman admitted she shot her lover over his performance in bed.

Sadie Bell was convicted in April of assault with intent to do great bodily harm for shooting her boyfriend, Edward Lee, in the stomach in January of 2013 — but she's now been granted bond pending an appeal.

According to Chief Assistant Prosecutor Paul Walton, Bell admitted she had sex with Lee at her apartment, then shot him over his poor performance. She also accused Lee of cheating.

"The underlying facts in this are a little bizarre," Walton told WWJ's Sandra McNeil, "in that the defendant in this case was having a 15 year affair with the victim, Mr. Lee.

"She was upset with him," Walton said, "after a sexual act that she felt he wasn't performing adequately and accused him then of having an affair, and then took out a gun and shot him."
Walton said Bell made a "very graphic", detailed statement to police explaining why she shot her lover.

"She stated that she knew he was having an affair because he wasn't producing enough ejaculate," Walton explained. "She also said to the police some very graphic things about how she expected him to perform, she was a cheap date, she liked sex, she expected him to be able to do what he's promised; and she said, in essence, to quote her, she was pissed off, so she shot him."

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July 20, 2014

Yep, that's pretty vulgar all right

Florida Road Construction Sign Hacked To Show Extremely Vulgar Message

TAMPA, Fla. (CBS Tampa) – Drivers in Hillsborough County were subjected to a road construction sign that was flashing an obscene message after being hacked. [...]

While driving home from the drive-in movie theater in Ruskin, Sarah Carpenter saw the message. She was in the car with her 11-year-old brother and 6-year-old son.

"We are driving and I look over and I have to do a double take," Carpenter told WFTS. "I am like what does that say?"

The sign read: "F*** Her Right In The P****."

As she tried to merge into an open lane the sign distracted Carpenter. Her brother was in the passenger seat of her car when they passed the sign.

"He's like, 'Did that sign say what I think it says?' And I have my 6-year-old in the back seat trying to sound it out," she told WFTS.

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July 19, 2014

Hey he might get hungry, right?

Kentucky man got arrested, then ordered pizza to police station

CORBIN, Ky.   •  Police in southern Kentucky say they got a surprise delivery after charging a man with shoplifting — five pizzas showed up at the station.

Officers say Michael Harp asked to make a call on his cellphone Tuesday afternoon while being booked in Corbin. A short time later, police say, a pizza delivery driver showed up to deliver to "Officer Wilson," the name of the officer who arrested Harp, 29.

Police say they linked the call to Harp by tracking his cellphone number. Harp told Lexington station WKYT-TV it's all a misunderstanding and that "about 10 people" used his phone.

Harp now faces additional charges including theft of identity, theft by deception, and impersonating a police officer. Jail records did not list an attorney for him.

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July 16, 2014

366 large, down the drain

Council blows £214,000 over five years on hunt for blogger who insulted councillors

A council spent a staggering £200,000 on a hunt for a notorious internet blogger known as ‘Mr Monkey’ after he insulted local councillors.

The anonymous writer referred to councillors as ‘Pudgy Face’, ‘Miss Piggy’, ‘King of Sleaze’ and ‘The Fat Mackem Hobbit’ as he promised to ‘expose the truth’ behind their alleged lies.

Despite the internet troll abandoning the blog in 2009, the north east council have only just called off the manhunt - having spent the last five years searching for him.

South Tyneside Council launched the search after insisting they had a ‘duty of care’ to protect their employees from malicious accusations made online.

They immediately hired Washington DC lawyers McDermott, Will and Emery, to try and trace those responsible - all funded by the public purse.

But after spending more than £214,000 on the search for Mr Monkey, town hall bosses have now decided to drop the hunt.

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July 15, 2014

Don't get cocky, Mr. Mayor

My emphasis below.

South Carolina town rallies for gay police chief and strips mayor of powers

When openly gay police chief Crystal Moore was fired by a mayor who condemned her lifestyle as "questionable", she expected her two-decade career in law enforcement to be over.

Then this small, conservative town rebelled.

The people of Latta, who voted overwhelmingly for a state amendment banning gay marriage eight years ago, turned against the mayor, stripped him of his powers; they then rehired Moore. They said her dedication to the town mattered more than her sexual orientation. [...]

Mayor Earl Bullard vehemently denied that he fired Moore because she was gay. Instead, he said she was dismissed for "sheer insubordination" during the three months he was her boss.

Moore said she hadn't received a single reprimand during her career until Bullard presented her with seven on the same day she was fired.

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July 14, 2014

Taking a law firm to court?

Isn't that like picking a fight with a newspaper? Judging from the images, though, they've got a pretty good case.

Brewery sues law firm for trademark infringement

With more than 3,000 U.S. breweries in operation, trademark disputes are becoming a regular occurrence in the beer business. But a lawsuit filed by Oregon-based Full Sail Brewing may be a first.

In the lawsuit, filed in federal court, Full Sail is suing The Sessions Law Firm, an Atlanta-based firm that specializes in driving under the influence (DUI) cases, for trademark infringement.

According to the filing, Full Sail has been selling beer under the trademark "Session" by "showing the word SESSION inside a distinctive shield logo, using a distinctive font, often with a red background and with a grey outline" since 2005.

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July 09, 2014

Only in Japan (6)

In Japan, There Is a Shrine for...Hemorrhoids

The vast majority of festivals in Japan are not unusual. Then, there are some that are referred to as "kisai" (奇祭) or "strange festival." This is one of those. [...]

According to IT Media, around seventy people attended the recent festival at Kunigami Shrine in Tochigi Prefecture. Japan has well over a hundred thousand Shinto shrines. This one appears to be the only one that deals with hemorrhoids.

Tradition states that those who washed their backsides and then ate egg offerings would be cured of hemorrhoids, reports Shimotsuke. The festival ceased back in 1988, but two years ago, it was revived. These days, instead of cleaning in the river, there is a "Butt Washing Stone" on the shrine's grounds. Participants turn their backsides to the stone and chant to cure their butts or to ensure that they never get hemorrhoids.

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July 08, 2014

What Golden Rule?

Utah man sentenced to jail for seat-saving assault at a Mormon church

Ogden • A Plain City man accused of beating a fellow churchgoer last year at a Mormon baby blessing and mission farewell was sentenced Wednesday to 30 days in jail.

Wayne Dodge, 52, pleaded guilty last month in Ogden's 2nd District Court to one count of class B misdemeanor assault. One charge of felony aggravated assault was dismissed, according to court records. [...]

Prosecutors charged Dodge after he was involved in an "altercation" that stemmed from a seat-saving dispute at an Aug. 30 service at an LDS Church. [...]

The two men later clashed in the parking lot, where Dodge reportedly punched the victim. The man ended up with a bloody face, according to sheriff's deputies.

Weber County sheriff's Lt. Mark Lowther said that after the fight, Dodge swerved to hit the victim with his car as he was driving away.

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July 07, 2014

Vegetarian water

Vegetarian Water - For The Truly Ethical

Did you know that when you drink water, you are not really being vegetarian?

I didn't either. It turns out that when you drink water, it could have microbes and other small stuff - well, I knew that part. What I did not know is that viruses and bacteria and such were considered animals to vegetarians. So even if you purify water by boiling it and killing the germs, you are still drinking dead animals.

What to do for truly ethical water drinkers? Now you have the solution, the Prestige Lifestraw.

I guess this is real - it's hard to say, I assume most medicinal and health products originating in Asia were created on a dare - but the Prestige LifeStraw says not only will it kill the animals in water, like bacteria, protozoan cysts and viruses, it will then remove them too. No more animals carcasses!

It uses no electricity and no chemicals but retains all minerals - whew, I was worried minerals and salts would turn out to be animals too. I'd have to stop eating that Non-GMO Project Rock Salt.

H.T. Jeff

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July 05, 2014

Who says crime doesn't pay?

'Hot Mug Shot' Felon Signs With Agent For Modeling Contracts

The felon whose mug shot earned him hordes of admirers has secured a Hollywood agent who is negotiating modeling contracts even though he is still in jail.

Jeremy Meeks was arrested as part of a sweep of gangs in Stockton, California, and faces a felony weapons charge.

His mug shot went viral after being posted by the police department's Facebook page and has now apparently caught the attention of an agent.

Gina Rodriguez says she has signed Meeks, 30, as a client and he joins a roster of her other notorious celebrities. [...]

Though they have not formally set up any contracts with modeling agencies or other prospective employers, Rodriguez has high hopes.

"Jeremy could make somewhere between $3,000 to $100,000 per month through endorsements and modeling. We are also speaking with several production companies about following Jeremy's foray into the entertainment industry," she said.

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July 03, 2014

No such thing as bad publicity?

KFC Serves Customer a Deep-Fried Blue Towel

A KFC in Newcastle, England apparently served a mother and her step-son a deep-fried blue hygienic hand towel. No, seriously, this happened.

When Krystal Henderson's step-son Oliver bit into his four-piece chicken, he thought it was unusually hard. That's not surprising when you consider he'd just tried to eat a deep-fried hand towel. There is a picture through that link and...well...wow. Just...wow.

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June 30, 2014

Ding dong the merry-oh

Husband locked wife in shed for singing ''Ding dong, the witch is dead'' after his mum died

A husband locked his wife in their shed because she wouldn't stop singing "ding dong, the witch is dead" after his mother died.

Andrew Salmon, 42, packed up his wife Beverley's belongings and refused to let her into their home in Cornwall, Truro Magistrates' Court heard.

Furious Andrew told her: "It is my house now - you are not getting in."

When she took refuge in the garden shed he locked her inside but she managed to climb out of a window.

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June 26, 2014

Talkin' trash

Wow...

De Soto woman critically hurt in fight about a garbage can

DE SOTO • A woman was critically injured when a man hit her in the head with a baseball bat and a woman kicked her during an argument about a trash can, police said Wednesday.

Christina Goebel, 33, of De Soto, was hospitalized with life-threatening injuries, authorities said.

The dispute started when she and another man visited friends in the 800 block of North Third Street in De Soto on Tuesday evening to help repair a car.

About 8:20 p.m., Jacob Lee Kelley, 27, and Melinda Warden, 28, approached a group in an alley and were angry a trash can had been moved. A fight broke out in which Kelley allegedly grabbed a wooden bat and struck a man in the back and Goebel in the face.

A witness said Warden then kicked Goebel in the head when she was down and punched two others, according to court documents.

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June 25, 2014

Quite a pair

'Dull' is to twin with 'Boring'

The British village of Dull is to forge links with a US town called Boring.

The partnership came about after a Scottish cyclist, who knew of Dull, in Perthshire, pedalled through Boring in the American town of Oregon.

News was relayed back to villagers in Dull - who immediately made contact with their US counterparts in an effort to set up 'Dull and Boring'. [...]

A spokesman said: "This absolutely illustrates one of the top reasons why people come to Scotland - our sense of humour.

"We already know that, after the landscape, the friendliness and sense of humour of the Scottish people is the top reason why people come to Scotland.

"And I'm sure that that sense humour will now be translated across the Atlantic to Oregon. All we need now is a town called Fed Up."

The idea to 'twin' Dull, in Perthshire, and Boring, in the US state of Oregon, came about after Scots cyclist Elizabeth Leighton pedalled through Boring during a holiday.

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June 24, 2014

Where else would you open your safe?

Suspected bowling-alley burglars roll a gutter ball

TACOMA, Wash. -- Two burglars had a lot of balls on them -- literally they had half-a-dozen stolen bowling balls on them -- when they loudly tried to break into a pilfered safe in the middle of a church parking lot, according to charges filed Tuesday in Pierce County Superior Court.

According to the charging documents, Pierce County Sheriff's Office deputies were called to a church parking lot outside Spanaway around 2:30 a.m. June 14 for reports of two men hitting a safe against the ground.

One of the men, Jeffery Smith, told deputies the safe belonged to him but he had forgotten the combination. He said he took it to the church parking lot to open it without waking up his family.

According to the charging documents, deputies noticed six bowling balls with the price tags still on them in the back of the men's car. Smith told deputies he likes to bowl and the balls belonged to him.

Later, Paradise Bowl in Tacoma reported being burglarized sometime between midnight and 8:30 a.m. According to the charging documents, someone had taken $1,000 worth of bowling balls and a safe containing $4,000.

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June 20, 2014

Feces-flinging mayor

If he didn't leave it the doorstep with the top afire, I'm not sure it should count. "No harm, no foul," as the lawyers say.

San Marino Mayor "Embarrassed" Over Dog Poop Controversy

The mayor of an affluent Southern California community caught on surveillance camera tossing a bag of dog poop into a neighbor's yard has resigned, he confirmed to NBC4 on Tuesday.

Dennis Kneier, the mayor of San Marino, announced his resignation, effective Tuesday.

"I thought it would be the very best thing for us to move forward and have a reorganization and have a new mayor," he said in an interview at his doorstep. [...]

In his letter, Kneier cited continuing public fallout and embarrassment stemming from a June 7 incident in which he admitted to discarding a bag of dog feces on a neighbor's private walkway.

Kneier was cited for littering by the San Marino Police Department.

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June 19, 2014

Good morning, THC

Marijuana infused coffee claims to give you a real morning buzz

A new product promises drinkers a jolt of something extra than your daily dose of caffeine.

Washington state based Mirth Provisions plans to release a cannabis-infused cold-brew coffee called "Legal," as the new product will only be available in markets where marijuana is legal.

Creator Adam Stites told My Northwest that each  bottle will contain about 20 milligrams of THC, enough to create “an alert, creative, high,” but not too much as to make it an unpleasant experience, “especially for people that are just getting into marijuana."

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June 18, 2014

Ouch! (12)

What an expensive mistake... I'll bet they get a survey before they build the next one.

Court: $1.8M house built on park must be removed

A developer who mistakenly built a $1.8 million waterfront house on parkland has been ordered to remove it.

The Rhode Island Supreme Court found that the unoccupied home in Narragansett was built entirely on land owned by the Rose Nulman Park Foundation, and therefore must be removed.

The developer, Four Twenty Corp., began building the home in 2009, but it didn't discover the error until 2011 when it tried to sell the house and the prospective buyers got a survey. Robert Lamoureux, who owns the company, then contacted one of the park's trustees to try to work something out, but she told him the land was not for sale, according to Friday's opinion.

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June 17, 2014

Don't mess with nuns

Nuns sue strip club next door to their suburban Chicago convent

STONE PARK, Ill. • A group of nuns is suing to shut down a strip club next to their convent in a western Chicago suburb that the sisters say keeps them awake at night.

The Missionary Sisters of St. Charles Borromeo Scalabrinians say in the suit that Club Allure has ruined their peace with blinking neon lights and loud thumping music. The nuns say they have witnessed drunken fights and found condoms littering the area.

The suit, filed against the club and the village of Stone Park, states that the club violates a state law against operating adult entertainment within 1,000 feet of a school or place of worship. The club is also near houses, and three neighbors have joined the suit.

"I think most people would find that offensive, to put a strip club next to a home for sisters," said Peter Breen, attorney for the Thomas More Society, a nonprofit law firm that filed the suit on behalf of the nuns.

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June 16, 2014

Flush your troubles away

Toilet is a fixture in Kalamazoo Christian baseball team's dugout

BATTLE CREEK — The Kalamazoo Christian baseball team is trying to flush away bad plays by making a tradition of carting a toilet to its games.

The former bathroom fixture has become a game-day fixture in the team's dugout, mlive.com reported.

On Tuesday, as Kalamazoo Christian celebrated a 6-4 win over Britton Deerfield in the Michigan High School Athletic Association Division 4 quarterfinals, players carried out the toilet, to the surprise of many at Bailey Park in Battle Creek.

Andrew Long, a senior, explained the potty's presence. He said the team had a miniature toilet last season that players would activate after a bad play to "flush down the bad memories." This year, Long said a discarded toilet was found for the dugout.

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June 14, 2014

Maybe they take after her husband?

Woman who cares for 100,000 cockroaches in home: 'These are all my children'

A 37-year-old woman in China shares her countryside home with the estimated 100,000 cockroaches she breeds. The South China Morning Post reports that Yuan Meixia cares for the roaches that she eventually sells to a pharmaceutical company, which uses the bugs for medicines. "These are all my children, my babies," Yuan told the Southern Metropolis News. The insect breeder resides at a separate home in Siqian county but visits the breeding house, in the Linbian village, every day.

Yuan, a pharmacy employee, was inspired to raise roaches after seeing a China Central Television program that aired last year. "I saw people raise this kind of cockroach in Anhui," she said. "They said it can be food and also can be medicine…So I took tens of thousands of yuan to learn [how to breed them] for a week and spent more than 10,000 yuan ($1,600) to buy 20 kg (44 lbs) of live cockroaches."

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June 13, 2014

Some competition for the Manneken-Pis

Polish town erects statue of a urinating Lenin

A statue of Vladimir Lenin has returned to a Polish town which was constructed by the communists in the hope of it becoming a proletarian bastion.

But instead of striking a dramatic pose designed to inspire revolution, the new Lenin statue in Nowa Huta comes bright green in colour, and depicts the revolutionary leader relieving himself, with a water feature providing the necessary effects.

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June 12, 2014

One leg at a time... for over three millenia

World's Oldest Pair of Pants Found

(Newser) – Archaeologists working at an ancient graveyard in western China have unearthed what they say is the oldest pair of pants ever found, reports Science News. In fact, they found two pairs, and the clothing items are not only functional but relatively stylish. The wool pants were found with the remains of two men, each about 40, who lived as many as 3,300 years ago and likely rode horses long distances, based on the riding gear that was placed in the tomb.

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June 11, 2014

Toronto ticklers

The City of Toronto wants you to wear its edgy, branded condoms

Toronto Public Health has unveiled its edgy, city-branded condoms just in time for Pride Week and the start of the summer dating season.

The condom wrapper features a street pole standing proud and tall, along with rainbow-flagged signs featuring three of the city's most oft-double entendred streets, Coxwell Avenue, Wood Street and Cummer Avenue.

"No matter which way you go, put it on," the condom wrapper says.

Toronto Public Health is launching "condomTo" after the success of similar campaigns in Los Angeles and New York.

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June 09, 2014

Insert Monty Python joke here

Indian court asked to rule on whether Hindu guru dead or meditating

The family and followers of one of India's wealthiest Hindu spiritual leaders are fighting a legal battle over whether he is dead or simply in a deep state of meditation.

His Holiness Shri Ashutosh Maharaj, the founder of the Divya Jyoti Jagrati Sansthan religious order with a property estate worth an estimated £100 million, died in January, according to his wife and son.

However, his disciples at his Ashram have refused to let the family take his body for cremation because they claim he is still alive.

According to his followers, based in the Punjab city of Jalandhar, he simply went into a deep Samadhi or meditation and they have frozen his body to preserve it for when he wakes from it.

His body is currently contained in a commercial freezer at their Ashram.

Via TYWKIWDBI

The Monty Python joke

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June 08, 2014

Science marches on

MagnetoSperm: A microrobot that navigates using weak magnetic fields

ABSTRACT
In this work, a propulsion system similar in motion to a sperm-cell is investigated. This system consists of a structure resembling a sperm-cell with a magnetic head and a flexible tail of 42 μm and 280 μm in length, respectively. The thickness, length, and width of this structure are 5.2 μm, 322 μm, and 42 μm, respectively. The magnetic head includes a 200 nm-thick cobalt-nickel layer. The cobalt-nickel layer provides a dipole moment and allows the flexible structure to align along oscillating weak (less than 5 mT) magnetic field lines, and hence generates a propulsion thrust force that overcomes the drag force. The frequency response of this system shows that the propulsion mechanism allows for swimming at an average speed of 158 ± 32 μm/s at alternating weak magnetic field of 45 Hz. In addition, we experimentally demonstrate controlled steering of the flexible structure towards reference positions.

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June 07, 2014

If it quacks like an gorilla...

Zoo Vet Mistakes Employee In Gorilla Suit For An Actual Ape, Shoots Him With Tranquilizer

A veterinarian at Loro Parque, a zoo and marine park in Tenerife Spain with a disturbing history of animal welfare violations, shot a fellow park employee with a tranquilizer after mistaking him for gorilla. The park employee was actually dressed up in a gorilla costume and participating in a practice drill to simulate the escape of a captive gorilla from one of the enclosures.

The employee was running around the park mimicking an escaped gorilla when the veterinarian spied him and, apparently uninformed about the drill, shot him in the leg with a tranquilizer dose meant to take down a 400-pound gorilla. The employee had an allergic reaction to the dose and was taken to University Hospital of the Canary Islands, where he is in serious condition.

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June 05, 2014

More like February - December, I think

'Extreme toyboy', 31, takes 91-year-old girlfriend home to meet his mother

As a society, we've become used to May to September relationships - just look at Madonna and her latest backing dancer; Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones and their 25-year age gap. No one bats an eyelid any more.

But one 'exteme toy boy' does raise a few eyebrows when he steps out with his lover - because baby-faced Kyle Jones, 31, is in a relationship with a 91-year-old great-grandmother.

Kyle, from Augusta, Georgia, dates numerous pensioners at the same time and even takes them home to meet his 50-year-old mother. For the last five years he has been in a 'casual' relationship with 91-year-old Marjorie McCool.

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June 04, 2014

Home-grown mutton

Norway artist cooked and ate own hip on 'a whim'

A Norwegian conceptual artist boiled his own hip bone on "a whim" and then ate the flesh with some potato gratin and a glass of wine. According to the artist, the meat tasted like "wild sheep".

Alexander Selvik Wengshoel, 25, made his startling claim to Nordlys newspaper at the opening of his graduation show from the Tromsø Academy of Contemporary Art.

The hip bone was displayed as part of the exhibition, as was a film of the operation to remove it.

Wengshoel told The Local that he spent a year convincing his doctors to let him film his hip replacement operation and then keep the bone. At the time he was a 21-year-old art student doing a foundation course in Oslo.

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May 31, 2014

But who grooms them?

There's a Tarantula Version of the Westminster Dog Show

Just like dogs, tarantulas come in a variety of colors, sizes and demeanors. Just like dogs, they often have devoted (some might say obsessed) owners who prefer to think of themselves as caretakers. And just like dogs have the Westminster Dog Show, tarantulas have a hotly contested annual competition.

This week, the British Tarantula Society (yes it exists, here's how you can join) held its 29th annual exhibition, the biggest tarantula event in the world. How they managed to have 28 of these previously without us noticing, I really don't know. This event sounds amazing — there were something like 30,000 tarantulas there. Just close your eyes and think about that for a minute! I bet you didn't even last 10 seconds with that image in your head.

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May 27, 2014

Cat fight!

Woman attacks boyfriend with family cat, deputies say

PALM COAST, Fla. —The fur was flying, literally, according to investigators in Flagler County, after a woman allegedly attacked her live-in boyfriend with the family cat.

Katherine Galliher, 50, was arrested Tuesday night after deputies were called to a domestic disturbance at the home on Brownstone Lane in Palm Coast.

The victim said Galliher threw the cat at him and the animal hit him in the face, busting his lip.

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May 26, 2014

News from Flori-duh

Man Attempts to Pay Fine at Courthouse with Counterfeit Bills

The Bay County Sheriff's Office arrested a local man today who attempted to pay a fine at the Bay County Courthouse with counterfeit bills.

When John Sheldon Jernigan gave the clerk at the Courthouse $400 to pay his trespassing fine, she observed that the bills looked unusual. Upon closer inspection, she noticed that many of the bills had the same exact serial number. The bills, all $20's, proved to be counterfeit.

The astute clerk called a deputy to the counter and Jernigan was arrested and charged with thirteen counts of Uttering a Counterfeit Bill.

When investigators spoke with Jernigan, he initially claimed he received pay at his job in cash and it must have been counterfeit. Jernigan later changed his story and claimed he didn't know where he obtained the counterfeit cash.

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May 25, 2014

All in the family

B.C. woman hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose

Two sisters from the northwestern B.C. community of Kitimat have both had close encounters with moose on the loose.

A month ago, Yvonne Studley, 49, was badly injured when she hit a moose with her vehicle, so last Friday her sister decided to visit her in Vancouver General Hospital.

But sister Connie Everitt, 51, also hit a moose and ended up in hospital.

In the first accident a month ago, Studley was on her way home from a business trip when a moose ran in front of her car.

The animal went through the windshield and landed on her, breaking her wrist, arm and hand, fracturing five of her ribs and causing bleeding in her brain. [...]

When Studley came out of her coma, Everitt and her husband Steve decided to visit her.

She and her husband were in two cars last Friday afternoon. Everitt, in the first car, was going around a corner near 70 Mile House, B.C., when she saw "a brown blur."

"I knew right away it was a moose," she said. "I slammed on the brakes with both my feet." [...]

The coincidence of hitting a moose just like her sister "really threw me for a loop."

"My first thought was, 'Are the moose going out [on a] hunting season for my family?"' Everitt said.

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May 17, 2014

Do as I say...

Not as I do.

Peeping pastor pleads guilty to climbing ladder to watch couple have sex

GRAND RAPIDS, MI – A former pastor and Cornerstone University professor has pleaded guilty to climbing a ladder propped against a home so he could watch a couple have sex in their bedroom.

Jeremy Grinnell, 42, pleaded guilty Tuesday, May 13, in Kent County Circuit Court to one count of surveilling unclothed persons stemming from the incident on Nov. 7.

Grinnell propped a ladder up against the home, climbed up to a second-floor window and admitted to watching the Cannon Township couple having sex.

When he returned for another viewing the next evening, he was caught by the male victim and subsequently arrested.

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May 14, 2014

Such a deal!

Students post ad for hit man in order to avoid taking finals

Two University of Georgia (UGA) students were driven desperate enough by their finals that they took to Craigslist to hire a hit man.

According to an advertisement posted on the classifieds website, two female UGA students requested a hit man to run them over with a car. They explicitly said they did not want to die, just simply be "injured enough to get out of taking our finals here at UGA."

The two girls added that the compensation would be "hitting two lovely ladies by vehicle w/ permission."

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May 08, 2014

I'll bet we all regret missing this auction

Sperm whale carcass eBay auction taken offline after it runs afoul of site's rules — and federal government

Frustrated by a lack of help from the government, a town on Newfoundland's west coast tried to auction off a sperm whale carcass on eBay.

The gigantic dead mammal washed up in Cape St. George a week ago, Mayor Peter Fenwick told Canada.com. In Newfoundland, animal carcasses are the responsibility of the municipality they wash up in, even if they're 12 metres long and weigh 25 or 30 tons like this one does.

Disposing of a dead whale is no easy task and whether its buried, towed out to sea or sliced up to preserve the bones, it requires equipment and funds the town just doesn't have. Although Fenwick said he'd like to preserve the bones, "it's just not within our financial capability."

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May 07, 2014

Precedent is everything

Law Students Push to License Dead Chinese Attorney

SAN FRANCISCO ― In a decision still studied in law schools as a 19th century lesson in bigotry, the California Supreme Court in 1890 denied Hong Yeng Chang's application to practice law solely because he was Chinese.

Now, students at a Northern California law school are working to right that ancient wrong. They hope to persuade the current court to reverse its 124-year-old decision.

Students at the University of California, Davis, School of Law's Asian Pacific American Law Students Association and two professors have submitted an application to practice law to the State Bar of California on behalf of Chang. It is a first step before approaching the high court, which licenses California's attorneys.

The state bar vets all California applications and recommends approval or denial to the California Supreme Court. The Supreme Court usually follows the recommendation of the state bar.

"This is a unique situation and we don't know what the Committee of Bar Examiners will do with the application," spokeswoman Laura Ernde said. The committee is scheduled to consider the application in late June.

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May 05, 2014

Maybe that was his license

Georgia drunk driver hands officer beer instead of license: police

Damon Tobias Exum, 37, of Dunwoody, struck a police car and continued driving early Saturday, police said. When asked for his license the man who was 'heavily intoxicated' and unaware of the accident handed him a beer instead.

After Exum struck a police car, he continued down a highway, police said. The officer inside was uninjured and followed him until he finally pulled over, according to the police report.

When Officer Alvin Rodriguez asked the motorist for his license he was handed a beer instead, the officer said.

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May 03, 2014

Science marches on

Science Has Finally Figured Out How to Win Rock-Paper-Scissors

Turns out that all you rock-paper-scissors champions who chalk it up to skill over luck may be on to something. Because according to science, there might actually be a winning strategy to this greatest of metacarpal match-ups.

The bold claim comes from a collective of Chinese researchers who recently took 360 students, broke them into groups of six, and had them play 300 rounds of the game in random pairings. To make sure players never lost incentive (which would be understandable after round 30, much less 300), the winners of each round were given a small sum of money as a reward.

So what do you need to know to win? After observing the many, many rounds, the scientists found that "if a player wins over her opponent in one play, her probability of repeating the same action in the next play is considerably higher than her probabilities of shifting actions."

On the other hand, if a player loses two or more times in a row, he or she will not play the same sign, but will instead play whichever sign would have beaten the one that had just allowed his or her opponent to win. So if Player A has been on a losing streak, and Player B just threw down scissors to beat A's paper, B will likely throw down a rock, which stands a good chance of winning since A is likely to stick with his previously won hand anyway. This is called the "win-stay, lose-shift" strategy.

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May 02, 2014

World Naked Gardening Day

Get ready for the Annual World Naked Gardening Day (WNGD)! People across the globe are encouraged, on the first Saturday of May, to tend their portion of the world's garden unclothed as nature intended.

Gardening has a timeless quality, and anyone can do it: young and old, singles or groups, the fit and infirm, urban and rural. An elderly lady in a Manhattan apartment can plant new annuals in her window box. Families can rake leaves in their back yard. Freehikers can pull invasive weeds along their favorite stretch of trail. More daring groups can make rapid clothes-free sorties into public parks to do community-friendly stealth cleanups.

Why garden naked? First of all, it's fun! Second only to swimming, gardening is at the top of the list of family-friendly activities people are most ready to consider doing nude. Moreover, our culture needs to move toward a healthy sense of both body acceptance and our relation to the natural environment. Gardening naked is not only a simple joy, it reminds us--even if only for those few sunkissed minutes--that we can be honest with who we are as humans and as part of this planet.

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May 01, 2014

Always low prices

Low-cost legal services now being offered in Toronto Walmarts

Behind the plastic jugs of liquid Tide stacked near the entrance of a new Walmart in Markham is an innovation in discount retailing: Axess Law.

Founded by Toronto lawyers Lena Koke and Mark Morris, Axess Law provides fast and affordable legal services to time-pressed shoppers.

Simple wills are $99. Notarized documents are $25, plus $19 for each additional document.

The Axess office in the Walmart on Copper Creek Dr. in Markham is a slim 600 square feet, branded in orange (think ING, Joe Fresh) and is open seven days a week until 8 p.m. It opened in January.

An Axess law office opened at the Walmart in the Scarborough Town Centre last June, and another this month at the Walmart at Eglinton Ave. E. and Warden Ave.

Another is scheduled to open at a Cedarbrae Walmart on Lawence Ave. E. in May.


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April 29, 2014

Play it as it lays

Tourist mistakes Richard Gere for beggar, gives him cold pizza

A French tourist listened to her heart when she offered her pizza to a man spotted rummaging through trash in the streets of New York, not realizing it was Richard Gere making a movie.

Karine Valnais Gombeau, a 42-year-old Parisian, spotted the actor, a knit cap pulled down over his ears, sifing through rubbish as she came out of a pizzeria near Grand Central station in Manhattan, with her husband and 15-year-old son, the New York Post reported Sunday.

Without blinking, Gere, 64 asked her what was in the bag Gombeau offered him.

"I tried to tell him in English, but it came out half in French," she told the Post.

"I said, 'Je suis desolee [I am sorry], but the pizza is cold.'?"

"He said, 'Thank you so much. God bless you,'? she said.

She left without knowing it was Gere making his new movie "Time Out of Mind," until the Post ran a photo of the moment two days later.

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April 26, 2014

Reductio ad absurdum fail

PETA Will NOT Be Turning Dahmer Home Into a Vegan Restaurant

In a sad development for animal-friendly dining, PETA's dream of turning the former house of one of America's most notorious serial killers into a vegan restaurant has today officially been axed.

After discovering last week that the childhood home of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was back on the Akron, Ohio, housing market, the folks over at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals floated the idea of converting it into a trendy eatery.

Known as the "Milwaukee Cannibal," Dahmer raped, murdered, dismembered 17 men and boys from the late 1970s through the early 1990s, posthumously consuming some of them. The home in Ohio was where Dahmer killed his first victim.

In a letter delivered last week to the property's realtor, Richard Lubinski, PETA President Ingrid Newkirk said that establishing a vegan restaurant in the house — a 2,100-square-foot, three-bed, 2.5-bath, single-family residential unit, located in the high-end suburb of Bath — would be ideal.

Via TWYKIWDBI

Who was Jeffrey Dahmer?

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April 24, 2014

Trial by heavy hammers

Court refuses trial by combat

A court has rejected a 60-year-old man's attempt to invoke the ancient right to trial by combat, rather than pay a £25 fine for a minor motoring offence.

Leon Humphreys remained adamant yesterday that his right to fight a champion nominated by the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) was still valid under European human rights legislation. He said it would have been a "reasonable" way to settle the matter.

Magistrates sitting at Bury St Edmunds on Friday had disagreed and instead of accepting his offer to take on a clerk from Swansea with "samurai swords, Ghurka knives or heavy hammers", fined him £200 with £100 costs.

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April 23, 2014

Some bleachers are more equal than others

Baseball parents ordered to take down seats deemed superior to softball bleachers

Earlier, Prep Rally brought you the story of Plymouth (Mich.) Salem High soccer coach Scott Duhl, who was allegedly fired over a parent complaint before the start of the season. Well, across town at Plymouth High in Canton, Mich., another complaint has the prep sports community as equally fired up.

Six years ago, parents of Plymouth High's boys' varsity team raised money and built stadium seating so they could watch from above a black chain-link fence that made spectating difficult, according to WJBK-TV. The parents also installed a new scoreboard for the baseball field.

Now, the school must tear it all down. The U.S. Education Department's Office for Civil Rights opened an investigation following an anonymous complaint. Ultimately, officials demanded that the seating and scoreboard be torn down because the upgrades are superior to Plymouth's girls' softball facilities (pictured). The boys' seating is also not handicap accessible, which is a separate violation of government regulations.

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April 21, 2014

A diet that's too rich for him

A pound of gold found in Indian man’s stomach

Gold has been stashed in all sorts of places — under mattresses, inside caves, in teeth.

This may be the rare occasion, however, that gold has been found in someone’s stomach.

Thursday morning, news broke that a 63-year-old New Delhi businessman went to the doctor complaining about pain in his gut. He told the doctor he had swallowed a bottle cap “in anger,” because that totally makes sense.

But surprise! It was actually gold. And not just a little bit. Doctors found 12 small bars of gold in his gut — weighing nearly one pound. They’re also called “gold biscuits.” The gold was valued at $20,000.

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April 19, 2014

Das Breakroom

New Boise biz lets you destroy stuff with baseball bats, other tools

BOISE, Idaho (KBOI) - A new local business allows you to swing sledgehammers and other "instruments of destruction" at household objects to let off some steam.

"Here at Das Breakroom, our sole purpose is to provide a place for people to engage in recreational destruction," said Tom Farrenkopf, who owns the business, which had its grand opening April 15. "What we mean by that is come in and break stuff."

The idea is you can work out your frustrations in a safe environment.

"I was having a horrible week, and I found myself on the verge of tears," said Lindsey Shultz of Boise, "and I was just pacing back and forth, like, 'What am I going to do? I'm so frustrated right now,' and I walked here and broke an entire box of stuff, and 10 minutes later, I felt perfect, fine."

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April 17, 2014

If you looked up Bad Hair Day in a dictionary...

You'd find Kim Jon-un's picture. And speaking of pictures, there's one of the ad at the link.

North Korean officials visit salon over Kim Jong-un 'bad hair' advert

North Korean officials paid a visit to a London hair salon to question why it had used their leader Kim Jong-un's picture in a poster offering haircuts.

The poster in M&M Hair Academy in South Ealing featured the words "Bad Hair Day?" below the leader's picture.

Barber Karim Nabbach said embassy officials were shown the door and the salon's manager spoke to the police.

The Met Police said: "We have spoken to all parties involved and no offence has been disclosed."

The salon put up the poster on 9 April and the next day two men claiming to be officials from the North Korean embassy visited the salon and demanded to meet the manager, Mo Nabbach.

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April 16, 2014

Don't mess with Texas (2)

Man who 'whizzed' on Alamo to do time

SAN ANTONIO — Remember not to relieve yourself on the Alamo.

That was the lesson a judge tried Monday to impart on El Paso resident Daniel Athens, who was ordered to spend 18 months in a state jail facility for having urinated on the Texas shrine

Athens, 23, pleaded guilty to criminal mischief of a public monument or place of human burial in February in exchange for a deal that capped his possible punishment at 18 months. The crime usually is punishable by up to two years' incarceration.

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April 14, 2014

Please don't squeeze the jellyfish

Will Your Next Toilet Paper Roll Be Made Of Jellyfish??

Cine'al Ltd., an Israeli nanotechnology start-up, is developing technology to turn jellyfish into "super-absorbers," making the much-disdained sea creature suitable for use in diapers, tampons, medical sponges, even paper towels.

Jellyfish have been the bane of Israeli beaches in recent years, as warmer ocean temperatures have made coastal waters more hospitable for the creatures. During spring and early summer, millions of them appear near beaches, shoot their poison into the water and make swimming next to impossible. Where jellyfish abound, the water is likely to be empty. [...]

Cine'al sees a potential use for the scourge. Hydromash, the dry, flexible, strong material Cine'al is developing, is made from jellyfish and is allegedly several times more absorbent than the "quicker picker-upper" paper towels from the popular TV commercials.

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April 12, 2014

Topless is one way to put it

Pictures and video at the link.

She's lovin' it! The shocking moment a crazed topless woman DESTROYS a McDonald's before pausing to enjoy an ice cream cone

Unbelievable security camera footage shows a crazed topless woman in just her panties tearing apart a Florida McDonald's.

The video shows the nude, extremely agitated lady start her tirade by screaming into the St. Petersburg restaurant's kitchen before slamming her head onto the counter in a maniacal rage.

After proceeding to furiously dump the contents of a refrigerator onto the floor as employees stare in disbelief, she sticks her head under the soft serve dispenser and helps herself to a face full of ice cream.

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April 10, 2014

Mom... is that you?

Nursing home hired strippers for patients: suit

The elderly residents of a Long Island nursing home saw their shuffleboards replaced by washboard abs when they were subjected to a low-rent Chippendale's striptease in the facility's rec room, a new lawsuit claims.

The son of one resident, 86-year-old Bernice Youngblood, was shocked when he showed up for a visit and found a picture of his mom stuffing dollar bills — which are supposed to be locked away in her commissary account — into a dancer's briefs.

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April 08, 2014

Rat revenge

Dispute Over Guy Leads to Rat Retaliation

Philadelphia police are looking for several suspects in what appears to be a case of rat retaliation.

Investigators said an ongoing dispute over a man escalated late Wednesday, when a woman in her 20s, her mother and a pack of eight or nine other women went to the victim's house with a baseball bat and a box containing an unknown number of white rats.

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April 07, 2014

Dressed for success

Motorist, 21, Wearing A "Drunk As Shit" T-Shirt Is Arrested For Drunk Driving

An Oregon motorist wearing a “Drunk As Shit” t-shirt was arrested Sunday night on a DUI charge.

Ross McMakin, a 21-year-old Corvalis resident, was collared after he drove his vehicle on the sidewalk, struck a parked car, and then assaulted his girlfriend when she tried to seize the car keys.

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April 04, 2014

Easy money, ladies

...if you're a local reader.

Wanted: Women who can burp to order

Women in a US city who can belch on command are being given the chance to earn some extra cash.

An ad agency is offering ladies $750 - the equivalent of £450 - for burps of any size in St Louis, Missouri.

They want belches "from small, quiet burps to monstrously loud belches" for a fizzy drink commercial.

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April 03, 2014

Putting it on record

Rogue court stenographer causes chaos for New York legal system

Stenotype Stenograph Kochanski was fired after officials learned of issues with the transcripts for six trials and 24 other proceedings he'd worked on. Photo: Stephen Coles /Flickr

A Manhattan court stenographer caused chaos in New York's legal system when he typed nonsense instead of recording the proceedings in the trials for which he was responsible – including, in one case, reportedly writing, "I hate my job, I hate my job" into the transcript.

Officials have been rushing to fix the mess, first reported by the New York Post, by calling back witnesses, lawyers and judges in the affected cases to try to reconstruct missing transcripts.

A source at the New York state unified court system confirmed that the stenographer, Daniel Kochanski, 43, had been fired after officials learned of issues with the transcripts for six trials and 24 other legal proceedings he had worked on.

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April 02, 2014

Nice tutu

Live News Report Photobombed by a Unicorn Wearing a Tutu. Seriously.

This is the best local news photobombing ever, hands-down. WTLV reporter David Williams filed a report for Good Morning Jacksonville recently when the live report was interrupted by––and I am not making this up––a unicorn wearing a leotard and a tutu. [...]

Now, when I say it was a unicorn, I obviously don't mean an actual unicorn. That would be silly. It was someone dressed up as a unicorn in a tutu! Yes, that makes so much more sense.

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April 01, 2014

Today's PSA (11)

Drug-resistant mutant head lice now living in MOBILE PHONES

MEDICS fear a new strain of head lice resistant to drugs is now living in mobile phones.

The problem of head lice has been steadily rising for years and treatments to get rid of the irritating little scalp dwellers have got progressively stronger.

But the particular Z31lathawaugh strain now worrying doctors – known as the lughole louse – can dwell for up to 36 hours in the earpiece of a modern mobile phone.

The mobile phone industry is thought to be aware of the issue, but is struggling to find a solution because the discovery is so new.

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March 28, 2014

Shouldn't this be called an "ACM"?

Cupcake ATM Pops Out Treats in 10 Seconds

Do New Yorkers really need another way to consume cupcakes?

Yes. The answer is yes.

And now New Yorkers -- joining cupcake fanatics in cities like Dallas, Chicago, Atlanta, Las Vegas and Beverly Hills -- can get a cupcake 24 hours a day. Will the Sprinkles store opening next month on the Upper East Side of Manhattan be open all hours of the day and night? No, but its cupcake ATM will.

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March 27, 2014

I'll guess it was more than just alcohol

Va. Woman Arrested After Visiting Jailed Husband In the Nude

LANHAM, Md. (CBSDC) — A 26-year-old Virginia woman was arrested Saturday after she arrived naked at the Arlington County Magistrate's Office to visit her husband, who had been arrested in Clarendon earlier that day.

Police say Maura Fussell, of Reston, arrived at about 11 p.m. and refused to get dressed or to leave in a cab.

Fussell was arrested and charged with indecent exposure and being drunk in public. She was held until she sobered up.

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March 26, 2014

Who wouldn't want one?

North Korea: Students required to get Kim Jong-un haircut

Male university students in North Korea are now required to get the same haircut as their leader Kim Jong-un, it is reported.

The state-sanctioned guideline was introduced in the capital Pyongyang about two weeks ago, Radio Free Asia reports. It is now being rolled out across the country - although some people have expressed reservations about getting the look.

"Our leader's haircut is very particular, if you will," one source tells Radio Free Asia. "It doesn't always go with everyone since everyone has different face and head shapes." Meanwhile, a North Korean now living in China says the look is actually unpopular at home because people think it resembles Chinese smugglers. "Until the mid-2000s, we called it the 'Chinese smuggler haircut'," the Korea Times reports.

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March 24, 2014

Brewer and Governor

Beer taps installed in Colorado governor's mansion

State officials announced Friday that private donors have paid for a new "draft beer system" in the governor's mansion.

The mansion now has three taps that will feature changing Colorado-made brews.

The Colorado Craft Brewers Guild helped pay for the taps, along with the Governor's Mansion Preservation Fund. The price of the taps was not disclosed.

Gov. John Hickenlooper co-founded a downtown Denver brewpub in the late 1980s and frequently espouses his love for Colorado beers.

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March 21, 2014

Shoot-out at the Golden Corral

Senior Food Fight Lands Early Bird Diner In Jail

One senior citizen is in trouble with the law after police say she was the instigator in a food fight at a popular restaurant for the elderly.

Wilkesboro police say a 69-year-old-man and a 62-year-old woman were assaulted, one who was hit by a flying plate.

Police say it happened at the Golden Corral in Wilkesboro around 3:45 p.m. Tuesday.

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March 20, 2014

Nice work if you can get it (12)

Is Ed Houben Europe's most virile man?

Ed Houben has an unusual pastime. He has slept with scores of women who seek him out for his legendary powers of insemination. As John Laurenson discovers, he doesn't charge.

In a farm house in north-western Germany, heated by a lively fire in a wood-burning stove, a bulky and bespectacled Dutchman - he freely admits he is a bit on the heavy side - makes his way upstairs to the baby's room.

Ed Houben has come to see his daughter for the first time.

He talks gently to the six-week-old baby, and little Madita looks up at him. She is, he says, his 98th child.

Mr Houben is a "charitable sperm donor". He helps lesbian couples, single women and heterosexual couples with fertility problems to have children free of charge.

He started out in 2002 donating sperm to a sperm bank.

But his sperm donating career (he has a day job, by the way, as a tour guide) really hit its stride when the Netherlands, like many other European countries and Canada, banned anonymous sperm donation and he started offering his services for free on the internet.

He now donates his sperm in the "traditional way". Using the apparatus God gave him rather than a syringe. "Much better chance of conception," he says.

Take it, Benny...

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March 19, 2014

Wait... what? (9)

Gym tells woman she's intimidating guests with 'toned body'

A California woman was asked to cover up while working out at a Bay Area gym, after staff members say she was intimidating people with her toned body.

Tiffany Austin said she was excited to get back in shape after recovering from a recent car accident. After her doctor told her it was time to start walking more, she took a tour of the Planet Fitness Gym in Richmond. On Monday she officially joined the gym and was looking forward to her first workout – but that workout lasted a quick 15 minutes.

Austin said things started out well. She hopped on a treadmill, set the speed to slow, put her earbuds in and started walking. She started to notice others staring at her, and quickly grew self-conscious but she kept on walking. That is until a staff-member stopped her.

According to Austin that staff member said, "excuse me we've had some complaints you're intimidating people with your toned body. So can you put on a shirt?"

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March 18, 2014

Let's play "HIde the egg"

Sex game ends in hospital visit

Doctors on Sunday removed a hard-boiled egg from a woman's vagina after a lovers' sex game went sour, officials from the Shanghai No. 411 Hospital of the People's Liberation Army said yesterday.

The woman's husband said he inserted the peeled egg into his wife's vagina because he wanted to try something different during sex. But soon after, the woman complained of an unusual sensation in her lower abdomen and the pair decided they should seek help.

The couple, both in their 20s, said they had tried to remove the egg using chopsticks and a spoon. When that failed, the woman tried to free it by jumping up and down.

Title ref

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March 13, 2014

Irony meter pegged again (3)

Nigerian leader orders audit of missing billions

LAGOS, NIGERIA –  President Goodluck Jonathan has ordered a forensic audit by international firms into some $20 billion allegedly missing from petroleum sales, following weeks of public outrage and demands by a Senate committee and the finance minister.

Jonathan's announcement came buried in a statement attacking ousted Central Bank Gov. Lamido Sanusi, insisting that his suspension last month was unrelated to his whistle-blowing about what it calls "the phantom missing funds.

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March 12, 2014

Wow! (4)

Paul writes (with tongue in cheek), "Amazing technology."

AIDS cured! (says Egypt's military)
As it moves to consolidate power, army claims to have developed device that defeats deadly virus… with no side effects

More than 36 million people have died from the AIDS virus across the globe, and another 35.3 million are currently living with the disease.

But they no longer have any reason to worry. The Egyptian Army has defeated the disease.

And Hepatitis-C.

Or so claimed Egyptian Gen. Dr. Ibrahim Abdel-Atti, chief of the medical branch. "We defeated AIDS, and rest assured, we defeated AIDS," Abdel-Atti said Sunday at a press conference.

"And indeed," he said, according to a translation provided by Egyptian protest group We Are All Khaled Said. "I conquered AIDS with the blessings of my Lord, glory to him, with a rate of 100%."

The country's military leader Gen. Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi and President Adly Mansour were present at the conference, according to an official statement.

Abdel-Atti said he had pioneered a method by which he could extract the disease and break it into amino acids, "so that the virus becomes nutrition for the body instead of disease. This is a miracle in scientific research."

"I take AIDS from the patient, and feed the patient on AIDS, I give it to him as a kebab skewer to feed on," he said, presumably metaphorically. "I take the disease, and I give it to him as food, and this is the top of scientific miracles."

"And I conquered the 'C,'" Abdel-Atti added, referring to the Hepatitis C.

"You will never find a patient suffering from the Hepatitis C virus after today, God willing!"

complete-cure-device.jpg
Illustration of machine developed by Egyptian military that can cure AIDS and hepatitis C with no side-effects. (screen capture: CCTV Africa)

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March 11, 2014

Not a feline to trifle with

House cat in Oregon attacks baby, traps family in bedroom

(Reuters) - A rampaging, 22-pound Oregon house cat with a "history of violence" attacked a baby and trapped a family and their dog in a bedroom at their Portland home before being captured by police, authorities said on Monday.

The Sunday evening incident began when the cat, a black-and-white Himalayan, scratched a 7-month-old baby in the face, according to Portland Police Bureau spokesman Sergeant Pete Simpson.

The baby's father kicked the cat in the backside, which sent it into a rage, and the parents and baby, along with their dog, retreated into a bedroom as the father called police, Simpson said.

Meanwhile, the cat blocked the bedroom doorway and could be heard on the 911 call screeching loudly, Simpson said.

"He said that the cat has a history of violence," Simpson said, referring to the father speaking to the 911 operator.

When officers arrived and entered the house, they saw the cat scurry into the kitchen. After it scrambled atop the refrigerator, officers snared it and put it in a travel-style kennel, Simpson said.

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March 10, 2014

Guess who's not going to Europe...

Daughter's Facebook boast costs former Gulliver Prep headmaster $80,000 discrimination settlement

Hey kids, file this one under things not to do on Facebook.

The Third District Court of Appeal tossed out an $80,000 discrimination settlement Wednesday between Gulliver Preparatory School and its former headmaster Patrick Snay, ruling the ex-employee and his daughter breached the terms of a confidential agreement when she took to social media to brag about it.

"Mama and Papa Snay won the case against Gulliver," Dana Snay posted days later to her 1,200 Facebook friends. "Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer. SUCK IT."

The post, seen by current and former Gulliver students, made its way back to the school's attorneys, who told the Snays they'd violated the deal. Patrick Snay last year won a Circuit Court ruling to enforce the deal, but Judge Linda Ann Wells overturned that decision Wednesday.

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March 07, 2014

That'll buy a lot of napkins

Man sues McDonald's over napkin: Second napkin denial leads to $1.5 million suit

A man who is suing McDonald's over a napkin is asking a hefty award of $1.5 million for the mental anguish he has suffered. Apparently this really caused him a great deal of distress when he was only handed one napkin with his Quarter Pounder Deluxe. Clearly everyone knows that one of those burgers are at least worthy of two napkins!

It seems when Webster Lucas found only one napkin in his bag, he went to the counter and asked for another and he was refused, claims his lawsuit. This is when this unhappy customer claimed the manager made a racist remark to him, reports the New York Daily News on March 2.

The lawsuit came about because of the one napkin, but when this manager of the Pacoima, California McDonald's refused him another, he said something that Lucas took as racist. Lucas claims the Mexican-American boss said something under his breath that sounded like, "you people," which Lucas felt was in reference to him being black.

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March 05, 2014

Oh Noz!

What in the world is a "level 2 look alike firearm"? (And who hires these people to run schools?)

10-year-old suspended for making fingers into shape of gun

(CNN) -- Ten-year-old Nathan Entingh doesn't understand why he got suspended from school for three days.

According to his father, Paul Entingh, one moment the boy was "goofing off" with his friends in fifth-grade science class, and the next the teacher was taking him out of the classroom, invoking Ohio's zero-tolerance policy.

The offense? Nathan was "making his fingers look like a gun, having the thumb up and the pointed finger sticking out," said Entingh, describing the February 26 incident.

"He was pointing it at a friend's head and he said 'boom.' The kid didn't see it. No other kids saw it. But the teacher saw it," he said. "It wasn't threatening. It wasn't hostile. It was a 10-year-old kid playing."

The next morning Paul Entingh escorted his son Nathan to the principal's office, where they met with Devonshire Alternative Elementary School Principal Patricia Price.

"She said if it happened again the suspension would be longer, if not permanent," said Entingh, who also received a letter explaining the reason for Nathan's suspension as a "level 2 look alike firearm."


onoz.gif

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March 04, 2014

It's a what?

Confusion Is An Electronic Cigarette That Also Lets You Make Phone Calls

The Supersmoker looks like your run-of-the-mill e-cigarette. Only this one comes with its own Bluetooth chip, and mic and speaker set. This means that on top of vaporizing flavoured nicotine liquids, it lets you make and receive phone calls without even taking your phone out of your pocket. You can even stream music to it, thus serving as a Bluetooth speaker. It's an odd combination and we're still trying to figure out how exactly you're supposed to use it. Do you puff and talk at the same time? Or do you take it out of your mouth and hold it to your ear? It's bizarre but that's sort of what makes it interesting as well. $110 will get you one, and it's available now.

Video here, if you're interested.

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March 03, 2014

Timing is everything (2)

Dead Man Kicking: Mississippi Man Wakes Up In Funeral Home Right Before Embalming

A Mississippi funeral home says it found a man alive and kicking in a body bag hours after the coroner pronounced him dead.

Walter Williams was pronounced dead Wednesday night after his pulse stopped, but funeral home employees found him trying to kick through his body bag Thursday morning.

Eddie Hester, Williams’ nephew, said Friday Williams is in the hospital and breathing without the help of a respirator, but is too weak to talk.

“It’s a miracle,” Hester said in an interview. “I don’t know how long he’s gonna be here, but right now he’s here, and the whole family is glad.”

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February 28, 2014

Omm-nom-nom

Who wouldn't love 3-year-old pizza?

Three-year pizza to join US Army MRE delicacies

Pizza with a three-year shelf life will soon be joining the US Army's field rations menu. These infamous MREs (Meal, Ready to Eat) have a long and checkered history, acquiring such sobriquets over the years as "Meals Rejected by Everyone" and "Materials Resembling Edibles." Pizza has long topped the list of requested meals, but the task of providing a palatable slice of this complex food that will survive the required three-year shelf life has foiled all attempts. Now, the folks at Natick's Combat Feeding Directorate have achieved a minor miracle in food technology: stopping time for a slice of pizza.

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February 27, 2014

No more Woof

This reminds me of a very old joke.

Talking Dog Device Ready to Hit Market Soon

What if your dog could greet you with more than a growl, or announce the reason he's scratching at the door?

It sounds absurd and much like the storyline from the Pixar film, "Up," but Scandinavian scientists are working to develop a headset that could soon allow your furry best friend to speak his mind.

The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery is the brains behind "No More Woof" -- technology that aims to distinguish canine thought patterns and then issue them as short sentences via a microphone. [...]

The research team, who previously brought the world such inventions as the pet flying carpet, weren't immediately available for comment on Wednesday, but explained the most recent project on their website.

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February 26, 2014

Not an offer I'd be interested in

Bruce the dog offered a personal cheque by Darwin council for his testicles

BRUCE Wallder the great dane may well be the first dog in history to receive a cheque in the mail as consolation for having his testicles removed.

That is exactly what Darwin council did last week, much to the amusement of Bruce's owner Tom Wallder.

De-sexed dog owners receive a registration reimbursement of $60 from the council for having their pets de-sexed, however the last thing Mr Wallder - the human - was expecting was for the cheque to be sent out in the name of his beloved and recently castrated eight-month-old canine. "I said to my wife, 'that's funny, the dog is getting mail now'," Mr Wallder said.

"I don't know what Bruce is going to spend it on ... probably some new balls."

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February 25, 2014

Was the fire alarm broken?

Lindenwood student gets probation for bomb threat she called in because she hadn't finished homework

ST. CHARLES COUNTY • A Lindenwood University student who phoned in a bomb threat because she didn’t do her homework got a suspended sentence Monday and was placed on five years’ probation.

Lori L. Knight, 39, of the 5000 block of Lansdowne Avenue in St. Louis, pleaded guilty earlier of making a terrorist threat.

On May 1, Knight called Lindenwood’s main switchboard from a blocked phone line and told the operator that her “brother” planned a bombing.

Knight called Lindenwood’s Westport campus two hours later and asked if classes had been canceled.

She said her “niece” had heard about bomb threats at the St. Charles campus.

Police were able to trace Knight’s phone number, and she was apprehended a few hours later.

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February 24, 2014

Pure marketing genius

Girl Scout sells cookies outside pot dispensary: 117 boxes in 2 hours

It's that time of year again. Time when your local market entrances are flooded with Girl Scouts selling boxes of Samoas, Tagalongs and Thin Mints. But one 13-year-old Girl Scout in San Francisco and her mother made a rather business-savvy decision to sell cookies outside of a medical marijuana dispensary.  

On Monday, Danielle Lei and her mother set up shop outside the Green Cross store with the cookies. With the store's blessing, Lei sold 117 boxes in two hours. 

Holli Bert, a spokeswoman for the Green Cross, said that after just 45 minutes, Lei had to call for backup cookies to replenish her stock. 

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February 20, 2014

Don't mess with a man with a forklift

The Twix bar, the forklift, and the fired Iowan

It's a familiar tableau: an overpriced vending-machine candy bar dangles on a spiral hook, tantalizingly out of reach and refusing to drop.

For most of us, that mini-drama usually ends in defeat. But not for Robert McKevitt of Spirit Lake, whose victory over an uncooperative vending machine ultimately cost him his job.

McKevitt was working the second shift at Polaris Industries' warehouse in Milford when he decided to break for a snack last fall.

He says he deposited $1 in a vending machine, selected a 90-cent Twix bar, and then watched as the candy bar crept forward in its slot, began its descent and was abruptly snagged by a spiral hook that held it suspended in midair.

"I was, like, 'Oh, man,' " said McKevitt, 27. "So I put in another dollar, and then it wouldn't do anything."

At first, McKevitt's frustration took the customary route: He banged the side of the machine. He tried rocking it back and forth.

But when that didn't work, McKevitt walked away and commandeered an 8,000-pound forklift, according to state unemployment compensation records.

He reportedly drove up to the vending machine, lifted it 2 feet off the concrete warehouse floor — then let it drop. He allegedly repeated the maneuver at least six times, by which time three candy bars had fallen into the chute for his retrieval.

When a supervisor confronted him, McKevitt allegedly explained he was simply trying to get the snack he had paid for.

He was fired five days later.

In a ruling that became public last month, a state administrative law judge denied his claim for unemployment benefits, saying McKevitt had demonstrated a willful disregard for his employer's interests.

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February 19, 2014

The old banana peel scam

Screening for man charged after banana peel suit

WASHINGTON (AP) — A D.C. judge has ordered a psychological screening for a Maryland man accused of staging a fall on a banana peel in a Metro station elevator.

The screening was ordered Tuesday after a request from an attorney for 42-year-old Maurice Owens of District Heights. Owens sued the transit agency for $15,000, claiming he injured his left leg and hip in a fall at the Potomac Avenue station in August.

Surveillance video shows Owens dropping a banana peel, stepping on it as the elevator door opens, then appearing to thrust himself forward and falling to the ground.

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February 18, 2014

Chainsaw rampage

Man with flower pot on head wields chainsaw during robbery

6AM, UPDATE: An Ipswich teenager is accused of going on a drunken late-night chainsaw rampage inside a petrol station while wearing a flower pot on his head.

Police rushed to the 7-Eleven service station on Ash St, Flinders View, following calls for help from two terrified shop attendants.

It will be alleged the man - who was wearing a flower pot over his head in an attempt to conceal his identity - entered the store about 4.30am on Monday, while two staff members were cleaning a coffee machine.

Wielding a chainsaw which was running at the time, the man lunged at the store attendants, who retreated into a back room.

Police allege the man then used the chainsaw to damage a window and several display racks in the shop, before exposing his buttocks to the store attendants. He is accused of damaging a parked vehicle upon fleeing the scene.

It will be alleged the man made demands for money, but left the store only with a bottle of soft drink and the chainsaw.

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February 17, 2014

Send in the clowns

National clown shortage may be approaching, trade organizations fear

Send in the clowns — please!

As the “Greatest Show on Earth” returns to Brooklyn Thursday, circus folk fear a national clown shortage is on the horizon.

Membership at the country’s largest trade organizations for the jokesters has plunged over the past decade as declining interest, old age and higher standards among employers align against Krusty, Bozo and their crimson-nosed colleagues.

“What’s happening is attrition,” said Clowns of America International President Glen Kohlberger, who added that membership at the Florida-based organization has plummeted since 2006. “The older clowns are passing away.”

He said he wouldn’t release specific numbers, citing the privacy of the members.

Membership at the World Clown Association, the country’s largest trade group for clowns, has dropped from about 3,500 to 2,500 since 2004.

“The challenge is getting younger people involved in clowning,” said Association President Deanna (Dee Dee) Hartmier, who said most of her members are over 40.

H.T. Jeff G

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February 14, 2014

Save the doughnut

The Importance of a Giant Doughnut

It may not have the flashy movie-star credentials of the enormous sign at Randy’s, up the road near Los Angeles International Airport. But the giant pink doughnut that marks the former site of a Mrs. Chapman’s Angel Food Donuts chain is a beloved Long Beach landmark nonetheless.

It was erected in the 1950s, when fancifully shaped roadside signs were a common marketing ploy. And it endured even after the shop sold its last pastry more than 10 years ago. But in a strange twist of fate, the arrival of a new doughnut behemoth – national chain Dunkin’ Donuts – threatened to consign it to the trash heap.

The aging doughnut, perhaps structurally compromised, didn't fit into the company’s modern profile. The franchise announced plans to destroy it, along with the adjacent building, when it took over the site.

That’s when doughnut advocates sprang into action. The Los Angeles Conservancy and preservation-minded Long Beachers rallied, launching a campaign to "Save the Giant Donut."

It appears they've won their battle. In an appearance before the city planning commission last week, a managing partner of the Dunkin’ Donuts franchisee announced that his company had heard the message. "We want to be good neighbors," he said, according to the Los Angeles Times. "The last thing we want to do is be viewed as the guys that killed the doughnut."

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February 12, 2014

Oops (27)

Underarm pepper spray mix-up clears club

A German woman who mistook her pepper spray for deodorant and doused herself with it in a nightclub toilet, injuring two women and forcing the club to evacuate, could face negligent bodily harm charges.

The 20-year-old woman had nipped into the Bavarian club's toilets to freshen up late on Monday night. She reached into her friend's bag for her deodorant, but instead pulled out a canister of pepper spray. [...]

It immediately became clear that the spray was not what she thought though, and the irritant gas – which can be used for self defence and crowd control – spread out into the rest of the disco. Two women sustained eye injuries and had to be given medical treatment.

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February 07, 2014

You should've seen the one that got away

Intruder scared away by Big Mouth Billy Bass

The crime scene of a break-in at a Rochester's Hooked on Fishing shop showed evidence that a burglar got scared off by a motion-activated, singing bass, authorities said.

The novelty bass, which had been hung near the door and would start singing "Take Me to the River" whenever someone entered the shop, was found on the floor after the intruder knocked it down as part of breaking the door to get in, according to the Olmsted County Sheriff's Office.

But the intruder appeared to have left in a hurry, without stealing anything -- not tackle nor cash that had been left in "a very visible spot," Sgt. Tom Claymon said.

The bass "took one for the team," Claymon said. "There were plenty of things to take but nothing was missing … other than Billy's pride"

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February 06, 2014

Bad moon indeed

Ghan be a bad moon rising

A BUNCH of bare asses are about to celebrate 10 years since they mooned the first passenger train from Adelaide to Darwin.

And the only difference in their re-creation is a bit more hair and a lot more saggy skin.

The residents of Livingstone, 40km southeast of Darwin, came up with the idea as the first Ghan passenger train was about to reach Darwin on February 3, 2004.

Spokeswoman Michelle Salmon said: "It was just supposed to be locals and then word got out and this whole airstrip was lined with asses".

A crude poster drawn by local Marko Maguire was pinned at the local reserve and word got out to about 400 people who turned up at Livingstone Airstrip, helped by the NT News.

"We did it because we're buggers out here," Ms Salmon said.

"We have dinner parties on car trailers and silly things like that. And Micko said: 'We should moon the Ghan when it comes through'. It was a rare blue moon that night."

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February 04, 2014

Pants - who needs 'em?

Postal worker dons pants for first time in 10 years

WALLED LAKE, Mich., Feb. 3 (UPI) -- A Michigan postal worker said this winter's subzero temperatures led him to don full-length pants for the first time in 10 years.

Kenny Martin, 56, of White Lake Township, said he has worn his postal worker shorts year round on his route in Walled Lake for the past 10 years, but this winter saw him finally put on long pants to go to work, the Detroit Free Press reported Monday.

"Awfully cold this year. This is the first time in 10 years that I actually started wearing pants to work. Once I hit the zero mark, that was it," Martin said. [...]

"Pants are just an inconvenience. They're for two things. They're for weddings and funerals," he said.

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January 31, 2014

Sad cow face

No Super Bowl ad for Nampa fertilizer company

The owners of Nampa fertilizer company Poop - Natural Dairy Compost, learned their TV ad will not play during the Super Bowl this Sunday. The company was a finalist in a national small business contest sponsored by Intuit awarding a 30-second TV ad to the winner.

The company announced the news via its Twitter feed, @GlenndaDaCow: "Sad cow face...the boys just told the herd we didn't win...Big thanks to all who have supported us!"

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January 30, 2014

Just call him Woody

Yeow!

Man somehow survives going through wood chipper

Frank Arce truly must have a guardian angel looking after him. That's how he explains surviving the unthinkable; being caught inside a high-powered wood chipper when it was mistakenly turned on.

Arce had gone in to the machine to dislodge an object that had clogged up the machine. Before going in, he says he made sure the machinery was turned off in accordance with his company's safety protocol. But once inside he heard a sickening noise; the engine powering on.

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January 29, 2014

It's Miller Time

Man fights off shark, stitches up own leg, goes to the pub

A junior doctor has recounted how he fended off a shark attack and stitched up his own wound on the beach before enjoying a pint of beer at a nearby pub.

James Grant was spearfishing with friends near Colac Bay at the base of New Zealand's South Island on Saturday when he was attacked by what he believed was a sevengill shark. [...]

He quickly made it on to rocks on the shore, where he took off the wetsuit – borrowed from a friend – and saw bites up to 5cm long.

Grant gave himself stitches using a first aid kit he kept in his vehicle for pig hunts. He and his friends then went to the Colac Bay Tavern, where he was given a bandage because he was dripping blood on the floor.

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January 27, 2014

Ehh, what's up doc?

Picture of the mystery rabbit at the link.

Nelson Mandela statue: Sculptors told to remove bronze rabbit hidden in the ear

A bronze rabbit nestled in the ear of the recently unveiled Nelson Mandela statue has angered the South African Government, which has ordered sculptors to remove the animal and "restore the statue back to dignity".

The 30ft-high bronze statue stands outside the government's headquarters known as the Union Buildings in Pretoria.

Portraying Mr Mandela with his arms outstretched the current South African President, Jacob Zuma, said it is designed to reflect that he had embraced the entire nation.

Upon closer inspection, a bronze statue of a rabbit can be seen peering out from inside the ear.

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January 23, 2014

It's hard to tell who's crazy here

Man sues Jennifer Lopez for 'tricking him into sending her naked photos of himself'

A man is suing Jennifer Lopez for allegedly tricking him into sending her nude photos of himself.

The pop star, 44, is being sued in Los Angeles by Rodrigo Ruiz, who is asking for $10,000, alleging a series of letters from Jennifer left him so depressed he sought counseling, according to a report on TMZ.

But it appears that a 53-year-old woman is behind the bizzare events, according to the report.

In the suit, Ruiz says the singer mailed him a series of unsolicited letters, beginning in 2008, demanding he send her naked photos and demo CDs.

The suit further claims the letters encouraged his belief that he had a chance at a music career and a possible romance with Jennifer.

He says she failed to follow through, leaving him with depression for which he sought professional help.

In addition to the lawsuit, Ruiz filed a police report claiming sexual harassment.

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January 22, 2014

And the winners are...

The 25 most common passwords of 2013

Password security is more important than ever. If you wonder which ones are the worst to use, check out the 25 most common passwords of 2013 and avoid them like the plague.

According to password management company SplashData, the top three passwords of the year are "123456," "password" and "12345678." The top three passwords haven't changed, but "123456" and "password" swapped places from last year. The company's list of the "25 worst passwords of the year" was compiled using data that hackers have posted online, which are said to be stolen passwords.

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January 21, 2014

The Internet of Spambots

Fridge sends spam emails as attack hits smart gadgets

A fridge has been discovered sending out spam after a web attack managed to compromise smart gadgets.

The fridge was one of more than 100,000 devices used to take part in the spam campaign.

Uncovered by security firm Proofpoint the attack compromised computers, home routers, media PCs and smart TV sets.

The attack is believed to be one of the first to exploit the lax security on devices that are part of the "internet of things".

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January 20, 2014

Someday you'll thank me, bro

Woman cancel's brother's wedding because she HATED the bride

Ann Duffy, 50, impersonated her future sister-in-law when she rung up Plymouth Registry Office in Devon to tell them that she wanted to cancel the wedding - just 20 days before it was set to take place.

A court heard how on the same day that Duffy cancelled the wedding, she called her brother and said: "You better put this on speakerphone.

"I have saved you on the divorce.

"I have cancelled your wedding.

"Would you like me to send you the confirmation email?"

The friction between the two women was said to be over the care of Duffy's mum, who all three were living with.

In a police interview, Duffy said she was trying to protect her brother from a marriage to someone she dislikes and who she believed was taking her mother away.

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January 18, 2014

They're everywhere

TIL that 'invigilator' is a word.

CHEATERS BEWARE: Belgian school uses aerial drone to monitor exams

Thomas More school, located about 30km north of Brussels, posted a video on YouTube showing the aerial drone soaring above students while they take a test.

The tiny DJI Phantom aircraft, armed with a GoPro video camera, is controlled by one invigilator while another watches a monitor for potential cheats.

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January 17, 2014

Just put some cards in the spokes

Oh, yeah.... This'll make your Kia Soul sound really impressive I'm sure.

Automakers work with BlackBerry's QNX to develop synthetic engine sounds

TORONTO -- For car lovers, there is just something about a revving engine that gets the blood moving faster.

Now automakers can capitalize on that feeling by teaming with a division of BlackBerry that is developing a way to replicate the sound of yesteryear's driving experience, even as cars become quieter and more fuel efficient.

QNX Software Systems -- acquired by BlackBerry (TSX:BB) nearly four years ago -- debuted a couple of concept cars on Tuesday at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.

One is a modified Kia Soul hatchback that showcases a new technology called "engine sound enhancement." In its most basic form, it's a soundtrack that simulates the engine both inside the car and for people on the outside through speakers.

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January 16, 2014

Who's crazy?

Space aliens seem to be a hot topic these days.

Jennifer McCarthy Pulls Gun From Vagina After Dispute Over Space Aliens: Cops

The ex-wife of Pulitzer Prize-winning author Cormac McCarthy was arrested Saturday after allegedly whipping a gun out of her vagina and threatening her boyfriend.

Jennifer McCarthy, 48, got into an argument with her 53-year-old lover about space aliens, according to a probable cause affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun. McCarthy left her Santa Fe residence, then came back and changed into lingerie. The outfit was accessorized by a silver handgun placed in her vagina, with which she began to have "inner course," [sic] according to the affidavit.

While cleaning the chamber, McCarthy reportedly posed the question, "Who is crazy, you or me?" before pulling out the gun and pointing it at her boyfriend's head, the Albuquerque Journal reported. The boyfriend told deputies he wrested the weapon away from her and put it first in the toilet, then the trash can.

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January 15, 2014

Whoa, Trigger!

Question: How could a passenger jet land at the wrong airport? Answer: Uh ...

(CNN) -- A day after a Southwest Airlines jet with 124 passengers landed at the wrong airport, many are asking: How in the world could that happen?

"It's not common, but it's not unheard of," said pilot Mark Weiss, a 20-year veteran of commercial aviation who has frequently flown Boeing 737-700s, the same kind of aircraft that touched down Sunday at a small airport in Taney County, Missouri, about seven miles from where it was supposed to land at Branson Airport.

The plane stopped about 500 feet from the end of a runway at M. Graham Clark Downtown Airport, but no one was injured, said Chris Berndt, the Western Taney County Fire District fire chief and emergency management director. [...]

The airport's runway is 3,738 feet long, about half the length of the Branson Airport runway, which is 7,140 feet. That forced pilots to act fast and brake hard when the aircraft touched down.

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January 14, 2014

I just read the daily news... (2)

...and swear by every word.

Iranian news agency says the U.S. is secretly run by Nazi space aliens. Really.

Iran's semi-official news outlets have something of a reputation for taking conspiracy theorism to the next level. They've written on Israel's secret plans to annex Iraq, the conspiracy by Western media to fabricate quotes by Iranian President Hassan Rouhani condemning the Holocaust and the secret Jewishness of the British royal family. You may notice a certain theme here.

On Sunday, the hard-line semi-official Fars News dropped one of its biggest bombshells yet: The United States government has been secretly run by a "shadow government" of space aliens since 1945. Yes, space aliens. The alien government is based out of Nevada and had previously run Nazi Germany. It adds, for timeliness, that the controversial NSA programs are actually a tool for the aliens to hide their presence on Earth and their secret agenda for global domination. This is all asserted as incontrovertible fact with no caveats.

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January 13, 2014

Monkey drugs

Experts: Florida's millipedes harmless to humans, useful to monkeys

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla., Jan. 13 (UPI) -- Experts said the millipedes infesting south Florida are harmless to humans and serve as both mosquito repellant and a recreational drug to monkeys. [...]

G.B. Edwards, an entomologist with the Division of Plant Industry at the state Department of Agriculture in Gainesville, said the millipedes are also put to good use by monkeys, which rub the creatures on their fur to use their defensive chemical as an insecticide. He said the monkeys also eat the millipedes as a hallucinogen.

"They eat them," Edwards said. "I wouldn't recommend a person doing that."

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January 10, 2014

A proud Pastafarian

‘Strainer’ things have happened

A unique style of headwear was present during newly-seated Pomfret Town Council member Christopher Schaeffer's oath of office Thursday afternoon, but it wasn't intended to keep his head warm.

Schaeffer wore a colander (a strainer typically used to drain water from spaghetti) while Town Clerk Allison Dispense administered the oath of office to him before the board's reorganizational meeting. When the OBSERVER asked afterward why he wore a colander on his head, Schaeffer said he was a minister with an even more unique organization - the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

"It's just a statement about religious freedom," he said. "It's a religion without any dogma."

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January 09, 2014

Mr. Reichert is feeling lucky

Residents Fuming Over Name Of Northern NJ Smoke Shop

HACKENSACK, N.J. (CBSNewYork/AP) – Some northern New Jersey residents are fired up over a new smoke shop that's about to open in their neighborhood.

It's not the bongs and other paraphernalia that have them fuming. It's the name: Fu King Smoke Shop.

Picture the sign, then use your imagination.

The head of a parent teachers association at a nearby Hackensack elementary school told The Record that the sign "is almost like an insult to the intelligence" of the community.

The store's owner begs to differ. [...]

Reichert said “Fu” is Chinese for wealth or lucky, and is part of a theme.

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January 08, 2014

I'm sure he was

Mooroopna is in the Strine state of Victoria.

Embarrassing end to naked hijinks

Emergency service crews were called out to help free a naked man from a washing machine in Mooroopna.

Emergency services took 20 minutes to free a naked Mooroopna man from a top-loading washing machine after a game of hide-and-seek went horribly wrong.

Shepparton police Sergeant Michelle De Araugo said the man had attempted to climb into the washing machine on Saturday afternoon with the aim of surprising his partner, but he became firmly wedged.

Police, firefighters, paramedics, Tatura SES and Shepparton Search and Rescue Squad had to work out how to manoeuvre the man to free him from the tight space.

''He was very well wedged in there and we were concerned for his health and wellbeing,'' Sgt De Araugo said.

''It was just a game gone wrong.

''It would be fair to say the gentleman was very embarrassed.''

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January 07, 2014

Hmm... maybe his flamethrower's for sale

'Fire-breathing weaponry'? That's a new one.

Fargo Man Arrested For Clearing Snow With Flamethrower

Fargo, ND – Local resident Todd Fox has been detained for "reckless endangerment" and "illegal use of high-powered fire-breathing weaponry" for attacking snow with his flamethrower. Fox reportedly became so fed up with the week-long blowing snow epidemic in his area that he decided to KILL IT WITH FIRE.

The neighborhood was treated with quite a show last night as Fox unleashed an inferno upon the mountainous snow palace that was his front yard. Neighbors to his immediate right and left noticed a bright orange cloud and could hear what they thought was "puff the magic dragon spewing mayhem all over hell," which prompted one of them to notify police.

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January 06, 2014

Well, duh (5)

It's official: Pope has not abolished sin, says Vatican

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - The Vatican felt compelled on Tuesday to deny that Pope Francis had "abolished sin", after a well-known Italian intellectual wrote that he had effectively done so through his words and gestures.

The singular exchange began on Sunday when Eugenio Scalfari, an atheist who writes opinion pieces for the left-leaning La Repubblica newspaper, published an article titled "Francis' Revolution: He has abolished sin".

Scalfari, who held a long private conversation with the pope earlier this year and wrote about it several times, concluded in the complex, treatise-like article that Francis believed sin effectively no longer existed because God's mercy and forgiveness were "eternal".

Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi told Vatican Radio that "this affirmation that the pope has abolished sin" was wrong.

"Those who really follow the pope daily know how many times he has spoken about sin and our (human) condition as sinners," Lombardi said.

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January 03, 2014

It's a cold, cruel world

Missouri man says he robbed store to return to prison

ST. JOSEPH, Mo. • A Missouri man says he meant to get caught in November when he tried to rob a St. Joseph convenience store.

When the man asked the clerk to open the cash register and give him the money, the clerk refused — even after Roy Murphy, 43, offered to put on the camouflage ski mask he was carrying.

The St. Joseph News-Press reports Murphy was prepared to plead guilty Monday to second-degree robbery. But Circuit Judge Patrick Robb told him there was no threat of physical force, so he couldn't convict Murphy of the charge.

Murphy told the judge he doesn't know how to make it outside of prison and wanted to go back.

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January 02, 2014

I'll bet the Gideons never expected this

Two charged with battery following fight over Bible, Ten Commandments

CARTERSVILLE, Ga., Dec. 29 (UPI) -- A man and a woman were arrested for battery following a fight over the Bible and the Ten Commandments, Georgia police said.

The fight occurred at 1 a.m. Saturday morning in a hotel room in Cartersville.

When the police officer entered the motel room, he saw blood on the carpet and a bloody towel in the sink, the police report states.

Carolyn Unfricht, one of the detainees, told the officer that the conversation had become tense, and that she used a Bible to hit Daniel Camarda across the face, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported.

Camarda then allegedly slung Unfricht across the room, and she suffered a cut to her head and an injury to her foot.

Both individuals were highly intoxicated, were slurring their speech and had difficulty walking, police said.

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January 01, 2014

When your knickers get in a twist...

I shudder to think what Japanese game shows will do with this.

Knickers are downloaded as couple produce underwear on 3D printer

Mornings when you cannot find a pair of clean pants could be a thing of the past thanks to an Israeli couple whose revolutionary technology makes it possible to download a pair of new knickers through 3D printing.

Tami and Udi Giloh have developed a woven fabric created on a hi-tech printer, and are in discussions with suppliers to lingerie retailer Victoria's Secret over a possible marketing deal.

The couple moved to north Manchester from Israel to develop the technology through their company Tamicare, and claim to be able to print a pair of knickers in three seconds, potentially producing 10 million pairs in a year.

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December 31, 2013

Famous potatoes

Giant potato ready to drop in downtown Boise on New Year's Eve

BOISE -- New York is preparing for the big New Year's Eve celebration in Times Square.

In Boise, it's going to be a unique New Year's Eve celebration as organizers get ready for the Idaho Potato Drop.

As the clock counts down to midnight, the glowing 16-foot long potato will be lowered from the U.S. Bank building in downtown Boise.

Title ref

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December 30, 2013

You deserve a break today

McDonald's employee site bashes fast food

McDonald's employee resources website once again is giving out worker advice that doesn't seem to fit. This time, it's about the industry it helped make ubiquitous — fast food.

"Fast foods are quick, reasonably priced, and readily available alternatives to home cooking. While convenient and economical for a busy lifestyle, fast foods are typically high in calories, fat, saturated fat, sugar, and salt and may put people at risk for becoming overweight," reads one post on the site, which includes a picture of a hamburger and fries, two items that the fast-food giant specializes in selling.

Another post labels a meal with a cheeseburger and fries as the "unhealthy choice" and one with a submarine sandwich and salad as the "healthier choice," noting that it's more of a challenge to eat healthy when visiting a fast-food place.

A separate post writes, "it is hard to eat a healthy diet when you eat at fast-food restaurants often," adding that large portions make it easy to overeat.

H.T. Jeff G

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December 27, 2013

Criminal master minds (4)

Bungling burglar left dangling upside down with head on toilet, Hull Crown Court hears

A BUNGLING burglar was left dangling upside down with his head on a toilet for more than an hour-and-half after getting stuck in a bathroom window.

Daniel Severn, 27, dropped his mobile phone in the bath during the attempted break-in, so was unable to call for help.

The owner of the house woke up, ready to go to work, only to find Severn hanging over his toilet.

Severn, who was wearing Marigold gloves and had a bag for his loot and a knife on him, said: "Please help. Call the police."

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December 24, 2013

An early Christmas gift

Driver flung 50 feet off overpass in Revere crash, survives
James Fay got 'Christmas present early,' trooper says

REVERE, Mass. —A driver is lucky to be alive Thursday after falling 50 feet when he was ejected from his SUV in a crash in Revere.

James Fay was driving home for lunch when his SUV crashed at Copeland Circle, which is Route 1 North, in Revere.

According to police, as Fay's SUV rolled over he was thrown out of the sunroof and fell approximately 50 feet from the overpass, landing in the snow below.

"He was conscious, alert, he was talking. And the State Police on scene told us that he had been walking around prior to that," said Lt. William Brown, a Revere EMT.

"That's definitely a miracle. You might even call it a Christmas miracle," said Fay's friend, Will Teleau.

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December 23, 2013

Ho, ho, ho and No, no, no

Drunk Santa and tipsy helper crash sleigh

A drunk Santa and his pie-eyed helper are both in hospital after falling out of their sleigh during a tipsy ride down a busy high street.

The 51-year-old Father Christmas and his 31-year-old female helper had been singing Xmas carols and waving at locals as they trotted down the busy street in Ustrzykach Dolnych, Poland, when a passing car beeped them, scaring the horse which reared up sending them flying into the road.

Passerby Zdzislaw Molodynski who captured the scene on camera said: "It was quite extraordinary.

"They were supposed to have been an attraction at the local market and lots of people were taking their children there to go and see them.

"But instead they saw these two, who were clearly under the influence, behaving like they had just come out of a nightclub or something.

"Then a car started beeping them which threw the horse into a panic.

"It reared up and sent them smashing into the wall on the corner of the street.

"It was a mixture of 'Ho, ho, ho' and 'No, no, no'," he said.

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December 22, 2013

Travel advice

Dave Barry writes:

TRAVEL TIP

If you're planning to travel by air today, consider just staying home and stabbing yourself repeatedly in the eyeball with a fork.

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December 21, 2013

But could he parallel park?

If you made this stuff up nobody would believe you.

Cops: Man Arrested For DWI After Showing Up Drunk To Motor Vehicle Test

A New Jersey man is facing a drunk driving charge after allegedly attempting to take a motor vehicle test while intoxicated, according to cops.

Stephen Goss, 53, was arrested last week at a Motor Vehicle Commission office when a state instructor detected "a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emanating" from his breath, according to a Randolph Township Police Department statement.

After cops were summoned, Goss underwent a field sobriety test, which indicated that he was impaired. A subsequent Breathalyzer test recorded his blood alcohol content at .13, well over the .08 legal limit.

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December 20, 2013

Largest Gingerbread Village?

News from Norway

'My gingerbread village is bigger than yours'

A battle has broken out between Bergen and New York over which city has constructed the world's largest gingerbread village.

On 17 November, a 135-house village constructed in Queen's, New York, was officially named "the world's largest gingerbread village" by the Guinness Book of Records.

But Bergen on Tuesday unveiled a village more than ten times as big, with no fewer than 1,990 trains and buildings spread out over 380 square meters.

"Once again we have the record. It's just totally amazing, we simply have the largest, most beautiful and best gingerbread city in the universe," Steinar Kristoffersen, who leads the city's 'Pepperkakebyen' project said at the opening.

New York immediately rebutted the claim, however, arguing that Bergen falls short on important technicalities.

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Largest Gingerbread House

Gingerbread-covered house would be a more accurate description.

Texas lays claim to the world's largest gingerbread house

Living up to its reputation of largeness, the state of Texas has now become home to the world's largest gingerbread house. Located at the Traditions Golf Club in the city of Bryan, the larger-than-life gingerbread house measures 39,201.8 cubic feet (1,110.1 cubic meters) and officially holds the new Guinness World Record. This defeats the record previously held by the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota, with its 36,600 cubic foot (1,036.4 cubic meter) gingerbread house.

texas-gingerbread-house.jpg
1 of 13 images

Via Gizmag

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December 19, 2013

What's in a name? (5)

I hope this lad's named after the revolver and not after the malt liquor.

Colt .45 Stratemeyer

Colt .45 Stratemeyer was born Nov. 26, 2013 at Tillamook Regional Medical Center. He weighed seven pounds, two ounces. He joins his older brother, Hunter Allen Stratemeyer, 3.

Baby Colt’s parents are Joshua and Rebekah Stratemeyer of Toledo.

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December 18, 2013

The more, the merrier

Maryland woman packs whopping 277 Christmas trees inside her home

Christmas is a huge deal in this Maryland home, whose owners have decorated it with an astonishing 277 trees.

Two decades of fierce sibling rivalry with her Oklahoma-based sister has led Renetta Zanco to stuff her Lothian house full of the festive plants.

And with 28 in the bathroom alone, including one made out of toilet roll, she thinks she's got this year's competition well and truly sewn up.

"I've got her beat now," she told My Fox DC.

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December 14, 2013

Snow in Cairo?

I'm trying to picture Cairo drivers in snow... It's not pretty.

Snow in Cairo for the first time in 112 years

WHEN you think Cairo you think heat and sand.

But something unusual happened there overnight - it snowed!

According to local reports it's the first time snow has fallen in the Egyptian capital in 112 years.

Incredible pictures show the normally sweltering city coated in white.

Egyptians took to Twitter to post their amazement in words and pictures.

The Egyptian Meteorological Authority warned on Wednesday the unusual weather will drive down temperatures to between 5 and 15 Celsius.

Snow was reported on Mt. Sinai and Saint Catherine's monastery at the base of the mountain.

A powerful winter storm is affecting parts of the Middle East.

Sections of Israel saw heavy snow up to about a metre.

Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat told The Times of Israel, "We're facing a rare storm the likes of which we've never seen."

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December 13, 2013

First impressions

A Craigslist ad in Seattle.

You farted in Pike Place Market - m4w - 30 (Seattle)

You were the hot brunette with curves that farted near the produce this weekend. I was the tall guy next to you that looked over and asked, "Was that you?" You quickly replied "No... Wasn't me!" You almost seemed insulted I would ask. As the stink grew you continued to deny your flatulence, but it was evident. I tried to get rid of the stench by waving a couple loafs of bread from La Panier. You proceeded to storm off in an angry manner. You are beautiful and even though you are a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I would love to meet up for a drink sometime.

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December 10, 2013

And what an unusual gift it will make

Michael writes that he found this while 'cruising around looking for presents.'

unicorn-meat.jpg

No foolin' - Unicorn meat is real!
Excellent source of sparkles!

Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat.

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December 09, 2013

All's well that ends well

Ore. man learns driving tank harder than it looks

GOLD BEACH, Ore. (AP) — Sometimes an owner's manual is not enough.

Oregon State Police say that's what a 58-year-old man learned when he tried to drive a 50-ton battle tank up a steep grade near the coastal town of Gold Beach.

The Oregonian reports that the 1969 Chieftain had been purchased by a local resident, but a truck driver transporting the tank was unable to climb the grade. So he unloaded it at a turnout along U.S. Highway 101.

The owner's caretaker, Jeffrey Glossop of Pistol River, decided he could get the tank up the hill.

State Police Lt. Gregg Hastings notes that Glossop had the operator's manual.

But Hastings says the tank slipped out of gear and rolled back down across the busy highway, crashing through a guardrail. [...]

Glossop was cited for reckless driving and first-degree criminal mischief.

Hastings says the tank is fine.

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December 07, 2013

It's not the heat...

'Stupidity ran deep' during 'stab-proof' vest demonstration

EDMONTON - A young Edmonton man who grievously wounded his friend while testing a supposedly "stab-proof" vest was sentenced to six months in jail Tuesday.

Court heard that Justin Harder, 18, was bragging to his friend Calvin Wesley Clackson, 21 about a "stab-proof" vest he'd just acquired as they hung out in an apartment suite at 106th Avenue and 116th Street, Crown prosecutor Mark Huyser-Wierenga told court.

Harder was so confident in the vest that night in October 2012 that he believed it would deflect any attack with a knife. Harder eagerly invited his friend to stab him in the chest to prove the vest worked.

"Mr. Clackson foolishly obliged him," Huyser-Wierenga said.

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December 06, 2013

This is news?

Cats Recognize Their Owner's Voice But Choose to Ignore It

Cats, according to new research, recognize their owner's voice. They just can't be bothered to react to it.

Researchers in Japan arrived at this conclusion after performing experiments with twenty house cats. They played recordings of the cats' owners' calling to their pets in whatever cat-talk voice they typically used. They also played recordings of three strangers calling to the cats, using the same words.

To quantify the cats' reactions, the researchers recorded how often cats moved their head, tail, paws or ears, or whether they meowed or dilated their pupils. While the cats showed a significantly greater response to their owners calling their names than to strangers doing so, they did not bother to get up in either instance, the researchers found.

(And cats don't have 'owners'.)

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December 05, 2013

Good morning! (3)

Tennessee McDonald's serves couple paper bag full of cash instead of breakfast

McDonald's? They're LOVIN' it!

A couple rocked up at a Tennessee drive-thru to pick up a breakfast snack — and ended up being handed a paper bag stuffed full of cash.

Greg and Stacye Terry couldn't believe their eyes when they returned home and found bill-brimmed pouch.

But the honest couple headed straight back to hand in the loot.

Turns out, bumbling workers left thousands of dollars destined for the bank in a bag on a counter.

A staffer then mistakenly picked up the money instead of the customers' grub.

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December 04, 2013

Condoms of Tomorrow

Vacuum cleaners, eh?

Condom Contest Produces 812 Ideas for Improvement

The condom of the future might be made of cow tendon or fish skin. It might have "shape memory" to instantly mold to a specific man. Or it might come with pull tabs so a man could slip it on with little fuss.

Those ideas are among the winners announced Wednesday by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation of a contest to create a condom that men would actually use. The contest, the foundation said, aimed to decrease unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases with "a next-generation condom that significantly preserves or enhances pleasure."

The foundation received 812 applications, chose 11 and awarded the winners $100,000 each. They could receive up to $1 million after they develop the ideas. Steven Buchsbaum, a Gates Foundation official, said winners ranged from a longtime condom manufacturer in India to American chemical engineers to British design consultants whose previous work included vacuum cleaners.

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November 29, 2013

A man with a mission

Bless his heart.

Israeli restaurant: Turn off phone, get discount

ABU GHOSH, Israel (AP) - A restaurant owner in an Arab village outside of Jerusalem says he is on a mission to save culinary culture by making diners a simple offer: Turn off your cellphone and get a 50 percent discount.

Jawdat Ibrahim says smartphones have destroyed the modern dining experience. He hopes the generous discount will bring back a more innocent time when going to a restaurant was about companionship, conversation and appreciating the food, rather than surfing, texting or talking to the office.

"I'm changing something. It might be something small, but maybe in some small way I'll be changing the culture of eating," said Ibrahim, 49.

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November 26, 2013

Which is worse?

Mandy or La Traviata?

McDonald's restaurant turns to opera to drive out loitering teenagers

A McDonald's outlet in Australia has begun playing classical musical and opera late at night to deter young people from loitering around the restaurant.

Fed up with their outlet's nocturnal transformation into an unofficial youth club, the store adopted the tactic a few weeks ago and says it has significantly reduced the number of loiterers, particularly around the car park. The strategy has reportedly been tried before by a local council at a car park in Australia, though previous efforts involved blaring songs by Barry Manilow.

Matthew Watson, the operations manager at the Mt Annan McDonald's on the outskirts of Sydney, said the music had been a successful deterrent.

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November 25, 2013

You can rest easy in Montana

Sack of potatoes subdued without incident

You couldn't make this stuff up! A Kalispell Police officer and a Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks officer were able to remove a five-pound sack of potatoes reported hanging from a tree on Seventh Street East that looked like it might fall into the street. Apparently, the potatoes were subdued without causing any mayhem.

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November 22, 2013

They "forgot"... twice

I used to hear stories like this when my children were teens.

Utah town forgets to hold election

A Utah town set the gold standard for election mismanagement this month when it simply forgot to hold an election.

The town of Wallsburg, Utah, was meant to elect a new mayor and city council on November 5. But, the Salt Lake Tribune reported, the person in charge of running the election forgot to make the necessary preparations, like letting people know that the filing period for candidates had opened, and printing ballots.

By the time the mistake was realized, it was too close to the day that was supposed to be election day to remedy the situation. [...]

This is the second cycle in a row that the town has forgotten to hold an election.

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November 21, 2013

Hydrogen Boy

Honda's "Hydrogen Boy" pees his way to a cleaner world

TOKYO: A little boy urinating might not easily conjure up images of a cleaner world, but Honda had other ideas on Thursday as it tries to promote its green-car technology.

The Japanese firm erected a two-metre (6.6 foot) replica of famous Brussels landmark Manneken Pis -- the bronze statue of a boy peeing into a fountain -- for its display at the Tokyo Motor Show.

The not-so-little plastic "Piss Boy", as the famous statue is known in Japan, was meant to show how the company's fuel-cell technology works, and along with the hydrogen tank strapped to his back it has been appropriately named "Hydrogen Boy".

"When hydrogen and oxygen go into a fuel cell, they react chemically and generate power," the boy's recorded voice tells passersby in Japanese, his eyes flashing as he urinates into a pool below.

"But only water comes out. Dribble, dribble."

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November 20, 2013

A little unclear on the concept

Till death do us part: Couple create gruesome wedding cake made of their own bloody severed heads

A film buff couple had a gruesome wedding cake made of their own severed heads.

Natalie Sideserf, 28, a cake artist spent forty hours creating the cake to match her movie-themed wedding.

Both heads are lifelike, with blank soulless eyes, hair matted with blood and bleeding severed necks.

They were placed on a white board, with a banner draped on the base aptly reading: 'Til Death Do Us Part.'

She said they chose it because her husband David Sideserf, 30, is a fan of scary movies.

'We were watching a horror movie, and I was always interested in sculpting lifelike cakes, especially in the face, so I thought, "How neat would it be if I did our severed heads?’" Mrs Sideserf said.

death-do-us-part.jpg

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November 18, 2013

Because we said so, that's why

World-famous Swedish ice hotel is ordered to install smoke alarms

A world-famous hotel in Sweden has been ordered to install fire alarms despite being constructed entirely of ice.

ICEHOTEL, which is located in the north Swedish town of Jukkasjarvi, is rebuilt every winter after it melts in the spring. It is constructed purely from ice including all furniture and appliances.

Despite this the owners of the hotel were told they could not continue construction of the building until at least one detector was installed on the premises. [...]

Bizarrely soon after the alarm was installed it was triggered, reportedly by a guest smoking in a cleaning closet.

Via Overlawyered

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November 15, 2013

I'll drink to that (2)

Beer as good as therapy for some: health boss

One of Germany's most powerful healthcare officials has made waves by saying that some psychological problems could be treated as well with a beer as with therapy.

Josef Hecken is chairman of the Federal Joint Committee (GBA), the body which decides what treatments are offered by the statutory health system.

Generally GBA meetings are dry, specialist affairs, where representatives from doctors' associations, statutory health insurers and hospitals discuss what treatments are effective for patients and value for money.

But eyebrows were raised when Hecken recently declared that not "every second" person needed psychotherapy - and that a beer would sometimes do the job. The Tagesspiegel newspaper reported that the comment was recorded in official notes of the meeting.

Hecken made the remark during a debate over calls for more psychotherapists to be included in statutory healthcare provision.

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November 13, 2013

TGFB (22)

Seattle Food Company Releases Bacon-Scented Deodorant

America loves bacon, that is indisputable, but now a Seattle-based firm has taken that affection to pungent new levels.

J&D's Foods, a specialty foods company, has announced its latest product — a gel deodorant that smells like bacon. They call it "Power Bacon," and it goes on sale today.

On its website, the company recommends the product for active bacon lovers or those who "just sweat like pigs."

"It's not really a deodorant, it's an odorant," J&D's owner Justin Esch told ABC News. "It's a strong meat-scented musk that comes off your body."

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November 12, 2013

Times are tough all over

I had no idea that French schools were only used four days a week.

French fight making Wednesday a school day

f you think Wednesday's child is full of woe, as the old nursery rhyme has it, try Wednesday's parents.

Parents like Eric and Isabelle Nizard, who are angry over a sinister social experiment being conducted on their 9-year-old son, Sacha. It's the latest innovation in French public education: Their child must now attend school on Wednesdays.

Beginning in September, hump day is no longer an official day off, a traditional oasis in the middle of the week for primary school students to rest from the rigors of academic pursuit. Instead, French children — who, like their parents, already enjoy longer lunch breaks and summer vacations than their counterparts in many other countries — have to show up for class Monday through Friday.

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November 11, 2013

Gee thanks, Mom

Alleged burglar left phone at victim's house, deputies speak to mom

LAKE WORTH, Fla., Nov. 6 (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a burglary suspect was identified when he allegedly left his cellphone at the scene and his mom called while police were investigating.

The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said deputies were at the scene of a burglary Thursday in Lake Worth when a phone apparently left behind by the burglar began ringing and the phone's screen identified the caller as "Mom," the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Wednesday.

A deputy answered the phone and the woman gave her son's name as Derek Codd, 19.

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November 09, 2013

A sobering experience, I'm sure

Reveller wakes up in morgue body bag after big night out

A drunk had a sobering experience after he was sent to a morgue by paramedics who thought he was dead.

Marek Michalski, 56, was found passed out on a bench without a pulse in Piotrkow, Poland, before concerned members of the public called an ambulance.

Hours later he awoke in a body bag and screamed for help. He managed to roll the bag off the table before escaping.

'I remember sitting on a bench and the next thing I woke up in a morgue,' he told local media.

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November 07, 2013

Mannequin Design For Dummies

The picture at the link is pretty amusing.

Curvy mannequins shape a Venezuelan fantasy

VALENCIA, Venezuela — Frustrated with the modest sales at his small mannequin factory, Eliezer Álvarez made a simple observation: Venezuelan women were increasingly using plastic surgery to transform their bodies, yet the mannequins in clothing stores did not reflect these new, often extreme proportions.

So he went back to his workshop and created the kind of woman he thought the public wanted — one with a bulging bosom and cantilevered buttocks, a wasp waist and long legs, a fiberglass fantasy, Venezuelan style.

The shape was augmented, and so were sales. Now his mannequins, and others like them, have become the standard in stores across Venezuela [...]

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November 06, 2013

Giant mirrors

I think this has been done somewhere else in Europe also.

Giant mirrors bring winter sunlight to Norwegian village nestled in the mountains

OSLO (AFP) -- Residents of a remote village nestled in a steep-sided valley in southern Norway are about to enjoy winter sunlight for the first time ever, all thanks to giant mirrors.

The mountains that surround the village of Rjukan are far from Himalayan, but they are high enough to deprive its 3,500 inhabitants of direct sunlight for six months a year.

That was before a century-old idea, as old as Rjukan itself, was brought to life: to install mirrors on a 400-metre high peak to deflect sunrays towards the central square.

"The idea was a little crazy, but madness is our middle name," said Oeystein Haugan, a local project coordinator.

"When Rjukan was founded, it was a bit crazy to start a community in the middle of nowhere with this massive hydroelectric plant, huge pipes and a railway line to transport fertiliser to the rest of the world," he added.

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November 05, 2013

Gashouse Gang is back

This happened during the World Series last week,

Gas levels traced to photographers, naturally

The sight of St. Louis Fire Chief Dennis Jenkerson standing vigilant behind home plate begged the question: Is there a problem?

"Some years ago, we installed chemical and gas detectors around the stadium," Jenkerson said. "Well, some readings earlier showed that we were getting higher-than normal levels of methane."

"We figured out they were coming specifically from the photographer's pit" along the third base line," he said.

"So we walked down there and asked the guys 'How many of you were at White Castle or Courtesy diner last night?'"

Really?

"Yeah" the chief said. "It happens."


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October 31, 2013

Another one who deserves a trick or two

The Flaming Bag trick sounds like a good idea.

Teen Shot While Toilet Papering Principal's House

FRANKLIN COUNTY, Tenn. – An Estill Springs man is out on $125,00 bond after police say he fired a shotgun at teens who were toilet papering their principal's yard. 65-year-old Dale Bryant Farris is accused of firing at least two shots, striking a 15-year-old boy in the right foot, inner left knee, right palm, right thigh and right side of his torso above the waistline.

Franklin County Sheriff's Office spokesman Sgt. Chris Guess said the boy "got peppered pretty good." With regards to the suspect, Guess had this to say: "The problem is they were not on his property and they were not doing anything to his property. Some kids got out at a residence over there to roll it with toilet paper and this gentleman came out of his residence a couple of houses over and shot one of the teenagers who was rolling this other guy's yard."

According to Guess, the "other guy" was Huntland School Principal Ken Bishop, who does not plan to file charges against the teens.

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October 30, 2013

Sounds like she deserves a trick or two

Woman to give 'obese' children letters, no candy

A Fargo, N.D., woman says she will give trick-or-treaters that she deems "moderately obese" a letter instead of candy this Halloween.

"I just want to send a message to the parents of kids that are really overweight. ... I think it's just really irresponsible of parents to send them out looking for free candy just 'cause all the other kids are doing it," the woman said in a morning radio interview with Y94. She wouldn't identify herself.

The letter states: "You child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season."

It continues: "My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits."

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October 24, 2013

You've seen one, you've seen 'em all

Granddad picks up wrong kid from school

An elementary school in Britain has apologized after handing over the wrong girl to a short-sighted grandfather for a trip to the doctor.

The 6-year-old girl shares the same first name as the man's granddaughter and is in the same grade, according to The Guardian.

She took the bus with the 74-year-old man to a doctor's office in Kent, where she was prescribed Acetaminophen, before being dropped back off at class.

The girl's parents only heard about the incident when she came home and showed the medicine to her mother.

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October 23, 2013

Pint-sized beer glasses

Bill would require each beer pint have 16 ounces

Some Michigan lawmakers are working to make sure a pint of beer is really a pint of beer.

A bill introduced last week would amend the Liquor Control Act to require each pint of beer have at least 16 ounces. It would make it an offense to "advertise or sell any glass of beer as a pint in this state unless that glass contains at least 16 ounces of beer."

Rep. Brandon Dillon, R-Grand Rapids and a co-sponsor of the bill, said short pints aren't the most pressing issue facing Michigan or its Legislature. But, he said, "a lot of people, I think, would appreciate knowing what they get when they order a pint."

Self-employed plumber Gary Lord of Lansing is among them.

Lord said he has been in a few taverns where the pint glasses didn't appear to hold what they advertised.

"A pint should be a pint, and a U.S. pint to the best of my knowledge has 16 ounces," Lord told the Detroit Free Press at a Lansing bar on Friday.

Some pint-style beer glasses with thicker bottoms hold as little as 12 to 14 ounces.

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October 22, 2013

She must be Russian

A pint of vodka at age 55?!

Billings woman charged with DUI No. 4

A Billings woman accused of calling police and saying she was "just too damn drunk" to get out of her vehicle was charged Wednesday with her fourth drunken-driving offense. [...]

Omeara was arrested Tuesday at about 10:40 p.m. after a police dispatcher received a call from a woman who said she could not get out of her vehicle, which was parked outside her residence on South 29th Street.

"When asked if she was having a medical or mechanical issue, the caller said, `No, I'm just too damn drunk,'" court records state.

An officer said he found Omeara inside the vehicle, which was parked about two feet from the curb. The woman reportedly told the officer she had been at a Billings bar for about five hours, had driven home but had been sitting in her car in front of her home for about four hours.

Prosecutors said Omeara told the officer she had consumed a pint of vodka.

Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

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October 21, 2013

The more things change...

...the more they stay insane.

Q&A: The Women Who Write Dinosaur Erotica

Alara Branwen and Christie Sims met in the dorms at Texas A&M. Alara worked at a supermarket and Christie worked as a tutor — until they discovered how lucrative erotic fiction about women having sex with dinosaurs could be. After e-book titles like Taken By the T-Rex and Ravished by the Triceratops drew attention from Jezebel, E!, and the Daily Mail, we e-mailed the duo to ask how they're holding up, and how two Texan girls in their early twenties got into dinosaur porn.

With Alara at the keyboard ("Christie made me do it because she is too lazy"), the college students explained. [...]

Are Alara Branwen and Christie Sims your real names?

No, those are just our pen names. Do you honestly think we would publish the crazy stuff we write under our own names?

F'real: here are their two Author Pages at Amazon.com.

Via Clayton Cramer

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October 18, 2013

Nyan Nouveau

Japanese company unveils "Nyan Nyan Nouveau" red wine for cats

Cats have been working on us humans for years now, using the internet to their advantage and doing whatever it takes to look adorable. And now it seems they've taken a significant step towards their ultimate goal of world domination: a Japanese company has manufactured wine especially for felines.

Earlier today, pet food and supplement maker B&H Lifes launched its newest product, Nyan Nyan Nouveau ("meow Nouveau"), announcing the good news via press release.

Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

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October 17, 2013

When you gotta go...

And with a passenger, no less.

There's speeding, and then there's this Illinois motorcycle driver

PEKIN, Ill. • A motorcyclist who authorities say was driving his bike at speeds that reached 140 mph told central Illinois police he was rushing because he needed to use the bathroom.

The Pekin Daily Times reports Adam Lester was arrested Tuesday night after a Pekin officer clocked him going more than two-and-a-half times the speed limit over a Tazewell County bridge.

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October 16, 2013

Who knew?

There's midget pron?

Dwarf porn bandits nabbed

A MAN has been indicted for a mobile home burglary that netted him an assortment of midget pornography DVDs. [...]

Investigators allege that Sergio Seanez, 18, and a teenage boy broke into the Chaparral residence last month and swiped electronics, kitchen appliances, and furniture. Seanez then allegedly set fire to the home.

In addition to the normal haul associated with a burglary, Seanez and his 17-year-old accomplice also made off with "multiple DVD's relating to Midget Pornography," according to a criminal complaint, The Smoking Gun reports.

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October 14, 2013

Good news for Mr. Blagojevich

Governor Bars State From Asking Job Applicants About Felony Records

(CBS) — Illinoisans with a felony on their records will no longer be asked about their criminal past when they apply for state jobs.

Promoting the decision to what he calls “Ban the Box,” State Rep. LaShawn K. Ford (D-Chicago) says the governor’s administrative order doesn’t mean private employers will be required to hire ex-cons. It simply means applications for state government jobs will no longer include a box indicating whether an applicant has pled guilty, or been convicted of a criminal offense, other than a minor traffic violation.

State agencies would still be allowed to conduct background checks, and request information on criminal convictions, but not until later in the process.

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October 10, 2013

Incredibly bizarre

The snippet below doesn't do justice to this article from The Daily Cricket. You really need to read the whole thing because it gets more bizarre as it goes on. (I believe the towns of Canton and Foxboro are the ones in Massachusetts.)

Police Stop Leads To Bizarre Arrest

Three people remain in custody after being arrested on Saturday morning following a traffic stop in Canton. In what was described by Lt. Paul Sullivan as "the most bizarre traffic stop" that he has seen in his 23 years on the force, Canton police responded to a report of a disabled vehicle traveling on Route 95. They came across the vehicle shortly after 2 a.m. traveling in the high-speed lane on the southbound side.

"We spotted the green Hyundai Elantra traveling at approximately five miles-per-hour in the passing lane with a huge shower of sparks coming from the rear of the vehicle. As we got closer we noticed that the rear end of the vehicle was dragging on the ground due to the fact that there were no rear tires or axle on the vehicle," said Lt. Sullivan of the Canton Police. "After the vehicle pulled over, we approached it and found that the driver was not only drinking a can of beer, but that he was not wearing any pants and that he had urinated on himself."

After not one, but two, brief foot chases, Francis Fasher, 45, of Foxboro, was placed under arrest.

H.T. Ms. M

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October 09, 2013

Forced at gun point

Man accused of faking kidnapping to party with friends

All Rogelio Andaverde wanted was to get out of the house and have a few beers with his buddies.

So Tuesday afternoon, the 34-year-old Edinburg man created an excuse to sneak away: He staged his own kidnapping.

According to a release from the Hildalgo County Sheriff's Office, Andaverde was with his wife, Maria Hernandez, in their home off F.M. 2812 in rural Northeast Edinburg when about 10:30 p.m. two men wearing masks and toting guns forced their way inside — and made off with Andaverde.

Sheriff Guadalupe Trevino said Hernandez called authorities right away, "petrified" after seeing what she thought was her husband's abduction. [...]

Mid-morning on Thursday, Andaverde returned home, telling his wife he'd been released.

A follow-up investigation revealed he had staged the kidnapping to "spend time with his friends and party."

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October 04, 2013

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...

Attempt to fly phone into prison on pigeon fails

A woman's attempt to fly a mobile phone into a prison on the back of a pigeon failed when the exhausted bird collapsed just after clearing the jail walls.

Cristielli Mansa, 21, had attempted to send the device to her boyfriend, Wagner Machado Rodrigues, 19, who had been arrested for drug trafficking.

Unfortunately for the pair, the pigeon cleared the three-metre high wall of the Central Prison in Porto Alegre, Brazil, but then fell right in front of a patrolling prison officer's verhicle.

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October 03, 2013

64 pages?

Chinese tourists warned not to pick noses or urinate in public

As an increasing number of Chinese people travel abroad, the Chinese authorities have issued instructions how to be "civilized" tourists, with an illustrated list of dos and don'ts to ensure tourists don't give the country a bad name.

China's National Tourism Administration have publicized a 64-page guidebook on their website, entitled "Guidebook for Civilized Tourism," advising Chinese nationals not to pick their noses in public, urinate in pools or steal airplane life jackets, according to a report by news agency AFP on Wednesday.

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October 02, 2013

Step away from the dryer!

Man Arrested For "Laundry Rage" Attack On Retiree

SEPTEMBER 26--In a violent episode of laundry rage, a Florida man twice shoved a 75-year-old victim to the ground and stomped on him after the senior citizen had the temerity to try and put his clothes in a dryer that the attacker claimed was his, police allege.

The confrontation earlier this month at the Super Matt Laundry in Fort Myers resulted in last night's arrest of Kenneth Wood, 55, for felony battery on a person 65 years or older. Wood, seen in the adjacent mug shot, is locked up in lieu of $150,500 bond.

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October 01, 2013

So to speak...

Businessman's hands full with bra bid

West Cork businessman Sean Murray, whose Skibbereen shop houses the region's largest lingerie department, has issued an appeal for at least 70 women — or men — to flock to his store on Saturday, Oct 26, to let him pop open their bras in a record-breaking bid for a cancer charity.

He will have to display deft fingerwork using just one hand to unclasp more than 69 bras in 60 seconds if he is to break Dutch-man Dennis Storm's 2012 record.

He is practising on mannequins to ensure he will be at his breast on the day. "Now that word is out about this, the pressure is on to break the record, which will be tough but I am ready to give it a go," Mr Murray said.


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September 30, 2013

There are marshmallow-launching devices?

San Diego nixes annual marshmallow fight

SAN DIEGO, Sept. 26 (UPI) -- City officials in San Diego said the annual July 4 marshmallow fight will no longer be allowed in the Ocean Beach neighborhood.

The neighborhood's town council passed a resolution Wednesday requesting San Diego police prevent the annual event by enforcing laws against littering and use of harmful objects, KSWB-TV, San Diego, reported Thursday.

Officials are also asking local businesses not to promote the event by selling marshmallows, marshmallow-launching devices and paraphernalia.

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September 27, 2013

And what a day the patient had

Florida man steals ambulance with patient still inside

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) - A suspect from Florida is facing kidnapping charges in Philadelphia after police say he carjacked an ambulance at gunpoint with a patient inside.

"It was pretty scary. He was weaving in and out of traffic, on a blowout tire riding on that rim. I thought he was going to flip over," eyewitness Brian Perkins said.

The incident started on the Schuylkill Expressway just before 3 p.m. Friday afternoon.

Pennsylvania State Police say 25-year-old Brian Timothy Kada Jr., of Philadelphia, walked onto the westbound side of the expressway near Girard Avenue while the ambulance was transporting a patient. Police say Kada pointed a gun at the two operators stuck in rush hour traffic and jumped into the passenger side.

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September 25, 2013

Like socks on a rooster

Diapers For Chickens -- No Kidding!

The economy has created a surge in the number of people engaged in urban farming. This has led to an increase in the number of people keeping chickens to lay eggs. Many of these chickens have made their way into the hearts of their owners -- and from there into the house. This has, in turn, led to the creation that would have shocked our farming forebears -- the chicken diaper.

It is one of those items that you never thought you would ever hear of, but for people who love their chickens it is a godsend. That's not all! You can also buy a chicken saddle. Wait! What? Yes indeed. While the diapers are to protect your home from the chickens, the saddle is to protect the hen from the roosters.

Video of a chicken being fitted with a diaper.

Via The Presurfer

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September 24, 2013

The knickers cop

Cops: Professor Filmed Student "Upskirt" Videos

SEPTEMBER 23--A college professor who used a camera pen to secretly film under the clothing of two students explained to police that he was attempting to gather evidence that one of the women "was not wearing undergarments," which he thought was "inappropriate," according to a police report.

That explanation, however, did not keep cops from arresting Don Samuelson, 65, on a pair of felony video voyeurism counts. Samuelson, who teaches at the University of Florida's College of Veterinary Medicine, allegedly victimized the two students on four separate occasions this year.

One of the victims "became aware of the videotaping" as it occurred about three weeks ago, noted investigators in a University of Florida Police Department report. During a subsequent search of Samuelson's office earlier this month, cops recovered the camera pen, which had an integrated USB thumb drive.

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September 23, 2013

Busted! (11)

I'm sure she'd have been happier without the editorial comment.

Officials: Miss Uzbekistan a fraud

TASHKENT, Uzbekistan, Sept. 19 (UPI) -- The Uzbekistani government says the Miss World contestant competing as Miss Uzbekistan is nothing but a beautiful liar.

Officials with the Uzbek Culture and Sports Ministry and the national committee on women told Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty that Rakhima Ganieva, 18, who is entered to compete in this month's Miss World competition in Indonesia, was not dubbed Miss Uzbekistan in a July 20 competition as she claims in a video, ABC News reported Thursday.

A representative of the Pro Models modeling agency, which once represented Ganieva, accused her of "choosing to build a career on lies."

"Rakhima Ganieva never passed through any special selection process in Uzbekistan," said Zhavlon Komolov of Pro Models. "If there had been a process to choose a young lady for this competition, I can assure you that a much more beautiful model would have been chosen."

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September 20, 2013

Oops (25)

Offensive phrases on bottle caps prompt Coca-Cola to cancel Canadian promotion

Coca-Cola has cancelled a Canadian promotion that paired randomly generated English and French words inside bottle caps after an Edmonton woman got one that said "You Retard."

Blake Loates said she and her husband were eating at a restaurant in Edmonton earlier this week when her husband read the cap off his bottle of Vitaminwater.

“Both my husband and I were pretty shocked. We couldn’t actually believe what we were seeing,” Loates said. “We thought maybe it was a joke or that maybe a rogue employee got a hold of the lid machine and wrote it.”

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September 19, 2013

But it's the thought that counts

Teacher's aide gave principal marijuana as gift

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (WPRI) – A teacher's assistant in Providence is facing criminal charges after he allegedly gave a bag of marijuana to a middle school principal as a present last Thursday afternoon.

Christopher Sheehan, 57, was arrested at an Everett Avenue home Friday and charged with unlawful delivery of marijuana in a school zone, according to a police report obtained by WPRI.com.

Police say Sheehan, who works with special education students at Nathanael Greene Middle School on Chalkstone Avenue, handed the school's principal an envelope, calling it a "gift" for winning the city's principal of the year award.

When the principal opened the envelope, she saw a sandwich bag with two smaller bags that contained the marijuana. The principal immediately contacted the police and her supervisor, according to the police report.

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September 18, 2013

What a guy

Another tongue-in-cheek obituary.

William McCullough

William Freddie McCullough - BLOOMINGDALE - The man. The myth. The legend. Men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him. William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013. Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reeses Cups and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order. He hated vegetables and hypocrites. Not necessarily in that order. [...]

He attracted more women than a shoe sale at Macy's.

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September 17, 2013

Nice work if you can get it (11)

Nasa recruits couch potatoes for microgravity study

Nasa is currently recruiting a number of willing volunteers to spend 70 days doing very little at its Houston headquarters.

The couch potatoes will get paid around £3,000 a month as part of the US space agency's research into the effects of microgravity on the human body.

'Of all the potential challenges crew members encounter in the space environment, microgravity has proven to be one of the most difficult to mimic in an experimental setting,' explains Nasa.gov. [...]

Successful candidates will stay in a tilted bed 24 hours a day as part of the 70-day project, where they can play computer games, surf the internet or watch TV

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September 16, 2013

Low budget political ad

Video at the link

Bizarre mayoral campaign ad in wet underpants

A MAYORAL candidate has posted a bizarre campaign video in which he emerges from a lake in clingy wet underpants and pledges not to frequent strip clubs.

Jeffrey Wagner, who is running for mayor of the US city of Minneapolis, also tells voters to "wake the f*** up" in the advertisement which has receive 211,000 views on YouTube and widespread publicity across America.

Wagner walks out of the water carrying a coffee cup and clad only in a pair of soaked underpants to where a woman waits on the shore. [...]

Wagner is known for crude jokes on his Facebook page.

He is up against more than 30 candidates running for the mayoral election on November 5.

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September 14, 2013

A little hair of the cat

Man tries to return cat he stole drunk

A Californian man who says he accidentally stole a cat while drunk posted an ad on Craigslist hoping to find its owners.

The cat-napper says in the ad that he thought the cat, Django, was a stray, but then noticed the next morning he had a collar.

The ad says: "If anyone is missing a cat name Django (pronounced Jango the D is silent) I stole him last night.

"Not on purpose, I was extremely intoxicated and thought he was just some random stray I was rescuing."

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September 13, 2013

Eat Me

It's one of their tag lines.

How a Food-Delivery Company Found Love by Advertising on Adult Websites

Here's your curious advertising case study of the day. Food-delivery app Eat24 has written a lengthy blog post detailing, from start to finish, why and how it went "where no marketing team has gone before. Well, at least not without clearing their browser history afterward."

Eat24, which apparently had something of a following among porn stars already, decided to advertise on adult websites. Its rationale? Almost no mainstream brands want anything to do with the XXX world. And yet the traffic figures are through the roof, and the CPMs are low. What's not to like?

Below are a few excerpts from the case study. Here's the whole thing. Via @hollybrocks.

The idea:

"If you ever take two seconds out of your naughty time to glance at the ads on porn sites, you'll notice that 99% of them are for more porn. It's a world where no one besides male enhancement pills and adult friend finders have dared to go. Not a single mainstream brand advertising there. We could be that 1%."

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September 12, 2013

What a sight to see

Picture at the link, if you're interested

Artist held after Eiffel Tower coq stunt

Millions of wide-eyed tourists visit the Eiffel Tower every year, but on Tuesday morning a handful of them were treated, depending on your viewpoint, to a highly unusual spectacle.

At around 9.30 am, South African artist Steven Cohen emerged from a car and joined the crowds at Place du Trocadero, under the shadow of the world-famous monument, for a spot of breakfast-time performance art. [...]

Dressed in a bird outfit, and shuffling over to a prominent spot on the public square, Cohen began dancing about, with no less than a cock tied to his penis with a long ribbon.

In high-heeled platform shoes and wearing a corset, thigh-length tights, and long red gloves, and with long, wild feathers emanating from his head and hands, Cohen began “walking” the chicken up and down before crowds of tourists. [...]

Perhaps inevitably, Cohen was held by Paris police on charges of indecent exposure, before being released later in the day.

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September 11, 2013

Fat's where it's at (6)

Huge 'fatberg' grows to the size of THREE blue whales as yet more grease is added to the 15-ton blockage in London's sewers

Like a scene out of Ghostbusters, the sickening images of the oozing, putrid grease blocking London's sewers made even those with the strongest stomachs queasy.

The stinking mass of lard, and much worse, highlighted Britain's love of cooking oil - and how we think nothing of throwing it down our sinks.

Now the double-decker sized blockage is getting worse, after experts discovered three tonnes had been added to the mass since its discovery last month.

This reminds me of the Original Talking Blues.

If you want to get to heaven,
Let me tell you how to do it:
Grease your feet in a little mutton suet,
Slide out of the devil's hand,
Ooze into the Promised Land,
Take it easy. Go greasy.

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September 10, 2013

I've always heard that rugby players are tough

Man left with a HAMMER in his head following horror nightclub attack

Matthew Probert, 21, was left with a HAMMER in his head outside a Lincoln nightclub in the early hours of Sunday morning.

The Scunthorpe rugby star was snapped slumped against a wall with the claw of the tool embedded in his skull.

He had been on a night out with pals, before he was attacked at about 12.50am. [...]

Probert, a loose-head prop, was rushed to a specialist brain unit at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield.

Surgeons spent an hour removing the hammer from his forehead and he has since been described as being in a stable condition.

Lincolnshire Police later confirmed a 21-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of attempted murder.

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September 09, 2013

A sign that the Apocolypse is near

Fruit-flavored beer?

Hello Kitty beer now sold in China

The world's favorite mouthless, red ribbon-wearing kitten has reached legal drinking age. Hello Kitty, the iconic cartoon cat designed by Japanese company Sanrio, is now selling beer in China.

The adorable kitten, known for gracing snack cakes and children's wardrobes, now has its own fruit-flavored beer, which is sold exclusively in China.

The Hello Kitty brew, licensed by the Shanghai KT trading company and made by Taiwanese beer maker Long Chuan, comes in at least six tropical flavors, from passion fruit to banana.

While the beers are only 2.3 percent alcohol by volume, they are so sweet that it is easy to consume too many.

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September 06, 2013

How to make a lasting first impression

First date ends with police chase

A first date ended in a dramatic police chase when a man snatched a woman's phone as compensation after she refused to go Dutch on drinks.

Southwark crown court heard that Kishore Nimmala, 32, spent a total of £54 on two rounds and was furious when Fakhara Sultana told him she thought men should pay on a first date.

The Daily Mail reportys that Nimmala then continued to follow her and pester her for money as the first date which was arranged online went sour.

When she tried to make a call on her BlackBerry, he snatched it and ran off.

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September 04, 2013

Markets in everything (21)

Women selling fake positive pregnancy tests, 'no questions asked'

Women around the country are selling used positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist, according to reports that began popping up last week.

One mother in Buffalo, NY advertised used tests for $25 each, according to MailOnline.

Some of the sellers offer ways to get creative with your second-hand purchase.

"Wanna get your boyfriend to finally pop the question? Play a trick on mom, dad or one of your friends," writes one seller in New Jersey.

Others have taken the "no questions asked approach." One listing in Manhattan reads, "I'm pregnant and will sell you my positive pregnancy test for $20. I don't care what you need them for."

And apparently there's a market. Other listings want to buy the used tests, or in some cases offer to just buy a pregnant woman's urine. Motives range from revenge to educational purposes.

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September 03, 2013

Badger??

Not just Rocky Mountain oysters any longer, it seems.

Balls to that!

Hold onto your shorts! The World Testicle Cooking Championship takes place this weekend in Serbia.

The unusual cook-off, first held in 2004, has seen chefs go at 17 different kinds of testicle over the years, among them bull, ram, donkey, bear, reindeer, wild boar, kangaroo, stallion, goat, turkey and badger.

Creator and organizer Ljubomir Erovic has since put together recipes in The Testicle Cookbook.

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August 28, 2013

Not a complete loss

Randy couple caught having sex on Danish soccer pitch after 0-0 draw

WELL, at least somebody scored.

The hunt is on for a couple of amorous Danish fans who were pictured having sex on the soccer pitch where their team had just played out a tedious 0-0 draw.

A photograph of the daring pair, who remain unidentified, has taken off online.

The two fans were spotted under floodlights in the pitch's centre circle by security staff at Broendby's Copenhagen ground, following a scoreless match against rival Randers on Sunday. Subsequently, a picture of the fans was posted on Twitter.

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August 27, 2013

Ka-boom! (2)

I can just imagine how thrilled his landlord is.

Man blows up house inflating air mattress

A German man caused €150,000 of damage to his rented house after trying to repair an inflatable mattress. Being new in town, he had no furniture – and now he has no windows or doors.

The 41-year-old, who has not been named, had moved to the town of Diepholz in Lower Saxony and bought the self-inflatable air mattress as he had no furniture in his new home, Bild newspaper reported.

But the mattress was leaky, so he used an industrial strength puncture repair spray to try and fix it. This reacted with the inbuilt electric pump, causing a violent explosion which threw him across the room, ripped doors off their hinges and smashed windows.

Experts believe that heat from the electric motor ignited the gas in the tyre sealant.

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August 26, 2013

Wanted: asbestos diapers

Doctors confounded with India baby's burst into flames — three times

Doctors are confounded, but parents of a baby boy in India insist: The tyke has burst into flames for no apparent reason at least three times since birth.

The baby — cited in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution only by the name of Rahul — was born in May, and parents said that they first noticed flames suddenly appearing on his stomach and knees when he was just nine days old. And since, it's happened a handful of other time.

"The case has baffled experts in India, with doctors suggesting the cause of [the baby] Rahul's mystery burns could be due to combustible gases emitting from his pores," his parents said, in the report. [...]

Rahul is currently undergoing tests, AJC reported.


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August 21, 2013

Write your own ticket

Guy does to bank what banks usually do to other people

The idea of beating the banks at their own game may seem like a rich joke, but Dmitry Agarkov, a 42-year-old Russian man, may have managed it. Unhappy with the terms of an unsolicited credit card offer he received from online bank Tinkoff Credit Systems, Agarkov scanned the document, wrote in his own terms and sent it through. The bank approved the contract without reading the amended fine print, unwittingly agreeing to a 0 percent interest rate, unlimited credit and no fees, as well as a stipulation that the bank pay steep fines for changing or canceling the contract.

[...] Now Agarkov is suing the bank for $727,000 for not honoring the contract's terms, and the bank is hollering fraud. "They signed the documents without looking. They said what usually their borrowers say in court: 'We have not read it,'" Agarkov's lawyer said. The shoe's on the other foot now, eh? [Source]

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August 20, 2013

Gee, who could've predicted this?

20 injured at LG phone giveaway as PR stunt turns into freetard riot

LG has cancelled a series of publicity stunts promoting its new G2 smartphone after 20 Korean consumers were hurt as they attempted to get a free handset.

The PR boffins at LG decided it would be a good idea to release 100 helium-filled balloons, each carrying a voucher entitling the recipient to claim their 950,000 won ($852.54) smartphone. It then took to social media to promote the event, inviting people to witness the balloons' release and encouraging them to grab one of the vouchers.

But what must have sounded like a good idea in the marketing meeting quickly dissolved into chaos. People aren't stupid. They figured out that the only way to get the voucher was to burst the balloons, and they showed up equipped to do so with BB guns, knives on sticks, and other tools.

When the balloons were released, the crowd surged for them, and some participants fired BB guns into the air to try and pop their targets. Korea Times reports that in the ensuing scrum, 20 people were injured.

H.T. Bill F

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August 15, 2013

McRobot

Robot Serves Up 360 Hamburgers Per Hour

No longer will they say, "He's going to end up flipping burgers." Because now, robots are taking even these ignobly esteemed jobs. Alpha machine from Momentum Machines cooks up a tasty burger with all the fixins. And it does it with such quality and efficiency it'll produce "gourmet quality burgers at fast food prices."

With a conveyor belt-type system the burgers are freshly ground, shaped and grilled to the customer's liking. And only when the burger's finished cooking does Alpha slice the tomatoes and pickles and place them on the burger as fresh as can be. Finally, the machine wraps the burger up for serving.

And while you fret over how many people you invited to the barbecue, Alpha churns out a painless 360 hamburgers per hour.

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August 14, 2013

The most popular name in Cincinnati

Million-Dollar Mix-Up Makes Winners Out of Two Men Named Kevin Lewis

A Cincinnati casino is paying up -- twice -- after it committed a million-dollar mix-up that put prize winnings in the hands of the wrong man.

Horseshoe Casino Cincinnati awarded $1 million each to two different Cincinnati natives named Kevin Lewis after it mistakenly allowed the wrong man to collect the winnings from a promotional contest it held on Saturday night, casino spokeswoman Jennifer Kulczycki told ABCNews.com. [...]

The casino, which is in the midst of a $3 Million Summer Giveaway promotion, called out for Kevin Lewis to come down and collect his prize after he was selected as the winner of the August drawing at around 9 p.m. Saturday.

"A gentleman whose named they called, Kevin Lewis, was in the crowd, came forward and was given his jumbo check," Kulczycki said. "Then as the local leadership team moved on to do the secondary verification process, the team realized it had made a blunder."

While Kulczycki declined to provide specifics on the two-step verification process the contest employs, she said it turned out there was a second Kevin Lewis from Cincinnati, roughly around the same age, who had actually won Saturday's $1 million drawing. But he was not in the casino when his name was called.

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August 13, 2013

Well, Earl Scruggs he's not

From Orange County, California

Crime: Neighbor Complains About Steve Martin’s Musical Stylings

A rundown of calls that came into the O.C. Sheriff's Department May 31-June 1 in Laguna Niguel:

A caller reported that his neighbor was screaming in his backyard about how Steve Martin can't play the banjo. The incident occurred at 12:59 a.m. in the 28800 block of Placida Avenue.

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August 12, 2013

Lost her at the third enema

Enemas and sex act shock audience at Winnipeg Fringe show

A controversial Fringe Festival performance featuring two naked actors engaging in mayonnaise enemas and a sexual act on stage left some audience members in shock while others walked out of the theatre Friday night.

The show, called Hollywood Hen Pit, stars Doug Melnyk and Ian Mozdzen, who are known for their edgy performances, having raised eyebrows in 2011 with their Fringe play Monopoly Man Pit.

This year's performance is about the life of an aging Hollywood starlet, as performed by two nude men.

"What I saw were not one, not two, but three mayonnaise enemas," said Fringe Festival reviewer Michelle Palansky, who was in the audience Friday night.

"By the third time… I was like, you know, this is gratuitous. I do not need to see any more mayonnaise enemas for the rest of my lifetime."

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August 10, 2013

Moderation in all things

Hempfest organizer: Giant joint a no-go

Hempfest organizers don't support a marijuana company's plans to build the world's largest joint at the annual pot reform festival.

Speaking Wednesday, Hempfest organizer Vivian McPeak said building a giant joint would jeopardize the Seattle event, which has a standing policy of not allowing marijuana sales. [...]

"The last thing we like doing in the word is enforce pot laws," McPeak said. "But we can't encourage people to bring any amount of pot that they want to Hempfest."

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August 09, 2013

Yee-ow!

Man has SIX-INCH worm removed from his brain

Wang Ming, 60, from Chengdu, China, visited his doctor after he had suffered fainting fits and painful migraines for more than six months.

When they X-rayed him, medics spotted a parasite the length of a biro lurking under his skull.

Surgeons performed a three-hour operation on Ming at the First People's Hospital in Shuangliu earlier this month.

When they removed the worm, they put it in a water container and were shocked to discover it carried on swimming.

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August 04, 2013

Don't try to rob a gun store with a baseball bat

In fact, I'm not sure there's any good choice of weapon for robbing a gun store.

Man Attempts To Rob Gun Store With Bat

HILLSBORO, Ore. (AP) — The Washington County sheriff's office says a man who attempted to rob a Beaverton gun store with a baseball bat and a knife was thwarted when the manager drew his own gun.

The sheriff's office says the suspect walked into Discount Gun Sales Thursday afternoon, smashed a display case with the bat and removed a handgun.

Moments later the manager armed himself and ordered the suspect to drop the gun, the bat and a knife he also was carrying.

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July 31, 2013

The secret is out

...all you need is an 'event widget'.

Pittsburgh man modifies his toaster to tweet 'toasting' and 'done'

PITTSBURGH, July 26 (UPI) -- A Pittsburgh says he's wired his toaster into Twitter so it to automatically sends him a tweet when it's toasting every morning.

Hans Scharler glued a switch to the outside of his toaster that detects when the slider is down and the toaster is on, or when it's up and finished toasting -- and connected in to the Internet to automatically tweet "Toasting" and "Done Toasting," boston.com reported Friday.

All he needed was a terminal board, a resistor and some alligator clips, Scharler said.

Scharler set up an event widget that monitors input from his contraption and sends alerts to his Twitter email address when the digital input from his toaster modification was high -- toasting -- and low -- done toasting.

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July 25, 2013

Or you can take the water with you

Picture at the link.

Police Discover Swimming Pool on Wheels

German police on Sunday pulled over four men driving a BMW convertible that had been converted into a motorized swimming pool. Despite their creativity, at least one could be facing charges for being drunk behind the wheel.

A BMW convertible first aroused the suspicions of a motorcycle cop on patrol in the eastern German town of Eibenstock when water sloshed out of it as it drove around a curve. When the officer pulled the car over, he could hardly believe his eyes.

In a police report released on Monday, he described encountering an "a convertible of a slightly different kind." The car had been converted into a swimming pool on wheels complete with a wooden railing and cheap floral decoration that could have come out of a chintzy Hawaiian hotel.

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July 24, 2013

Markets in everything (20)

Japanese women paid to put adverts on their THIGHS to catch the attention of men

An advertising agency has hit upon a unique way of catching the attention of people living in ad-saturated Tokyo - use women's thighs as a living billboard.

Consumers in the Japanese megalopolis are notoriously hard to reach because of the sheer abundance of billboards, neon signs and huge TV screens pumping out commercials, so the WIT agency decided to put ads on a place men are happy to pay attention to.

'It's an absolutely perfect place to put an advertisement as it's what guys are eager to look at and girls are OK to expose,' said Hidenori Atsumi, the CEO of WIT.

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July 23, 2013

Nice boyfriend, lady

Woman gets head stuck in banister during impromptu sex session

A lover having sex on a flight of stairs had to be rescued after getting her head stuck between some banister railings.

The 46-year-old, from Lipetsk in Russia, said she wanted to 'spice things up' with her boyfriend when the unfortunate accident happened.

A neighbour called police after finding the woman naked and on her knees in a stairwell, unable to free herself, Pronews48.ru reports.

She told police she had consensual sex with her partner, who had left the scene by the time officers and ambulance staff had arrived to assist her.

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July 22, 2013

Will it blend? You bet it will!

Oswego man gives blender some extra horsepower

SYRACUSE -- An Oswego couple turned heads at the Syracuse Nationals this week with an interesting take on a popular household appliance.

Russel Keene spent his winter developing a 380 horsepower blender powered by an old muscle car engine. The invention, which runs on gasoline and requires a key to start, can blend about five gallons in one minute. Keene says his blender has been put to good use during summer parties, but says it's really just a regular appliance.

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July 18, 2013

Busted! (10)

Thanks to the surveillance cam. Picture at the link.

Off-duty AZ cop accused of pointing gun at clerk

TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) — A Tucson, Ariz., police officer has been fired after authorities say he pulled a gun on a gas station attendant while off duty and apparently intoxicated.

The Pima County Sheriff's Department notified Tucson police that 23-year-old Kyle James McCartin was arrested early Tuesday on two counts of aggravated assault.

Deputies were called to a Giant Gas Station and learned two men who appeared very intoxicated entered the store wearing bulletproof vests.

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July 17, 2013

Use them for what, exactly?

Nearly 1 out of 10 Americans use smartphones during sex

Detailed within a study conducted by Harris Interactive, approximately nine percent of American adults admitted to using a smartphone while engaging in sexual intercourse with their partner. Of the 2000+ survey respondents, the largest percentage of adults that admitted this fact were split between Generation X and Millennial ages. Specifically, twenty percent of adults between the ages of 18 to 34 grabbed their smartphone during sex. Included within the 2013 Mobile Con­sumer Habits study, this survey was commissioned by Jumio; a company that offers payments and ID scanning solutions. [...]

Regarding places where Americans adults used their smartphones, approximately 12 percent of U.S. adults have used their smartphone while in the shower, 19 percent within a church or place of worship, 32 percent at a child's function taking place at school, 33 percent while on a dinner date, 35 percent while sitting in a movie theater and 55 percent while driving their automobile.

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July 16, 2013

They're back!

Minor Injuries As The Twinkie Makes A Comeback

Twinkie fever is back.

Hostess Brands LLC, the new owner of Twinkies, CupCakes and Zingers, officially brought back the iconic products on Monday. But some retailers, after agreeing not to start selling the products until midnight on Sunday, jumped the gun.

The fresh frenzy over the cream-filled confections left one Rhode Island woman with minor injuries last week, according to Hostess co-owner and Chief Executive C. Dean Metropoulos. As the woman was leaving a store with several boxes of Hostess goodies, she got jostled as other customers grabbed them from her, Mr. Metropoulos said in an interview after a kick-off event at a Schiller Park, Ill., Hostess bakery on Monday.

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July 11, 2013

WTF in Thailand

Pix at the link

Fried chicken takeaway called 'Hitler' opens in Thailand and comes complete with logo of Nazi leader in a bow tie

Schoolchildren dressing up as Nazis and a billboard advert showing Hitler were just the start.

Thailand's obsession with so-called 'Nazis chic' just won't go away - and now a fried chicken takeaway called Hitler - complete with a logo showing the Nazi leader in a bow tie - has opened its doors.

The bizarre restaurant opened last month in Thailand and images of it are doing the rounds on Twitter as shocked customers take photos of the offensive eatery.

The fascist dictator's head has been grafted onto the body of bow-tie wearing Colonel Sanders, the founder of KFC.

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July 09, 2013

Get a skillet

Stop Frying Eggs On The Road, Tourists Told

Tourists in America's Death Valley are being asked to stop frying eggs on the road.

Sweltering at the best of times and currently experiencing a heatwave over 50 degrees [122°F - Jdj], visitors to the area which straddles Nevada and California are leaving behind a mess of runny eggs, cartons and shells as they look for a photo opportunity.

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July 01, 2013

Imagine a life without bacon

Local woman swears off food, hasn't eaten in 5 weeks

SEATTLE -- There are a few things that we all know and accept about human beings, and one of them is that we all need food and water to survive.

But one local woman wants to challenge that fundamental concept of life.

Her name is Naveena Shine, and some of her ideas can best be described as being "out there." The 65-year-old England native who now lives in the Seattle area is aiming big with her goals.

"This will literally save the Earth," she said of her most recent experiment.

Shine claims she doesn't need food to survive, and she's out to prove it to the world.

"Well, the intention of what I'm doing is I want to provide evidence that it is possible, should it be possible, that human beings can live and thrive and do really well without having to eat solid food," she said.

To prove her point, she quit eating. She's now living on water and tea with a dab of milk. She claims she hasn't had a thing to eat since May 3rd. [...]

"There's got to be a point that's a shift over point, you either go into starvation and death or you go into finding the place within and without that creates living on light," Shine said.

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June 28, 2013

Put some hair on your chest

Fur coat made entirely from male chest hair

They say fur is murder, but this fur coat is a crime against fashion of another kind.

This limited edition coat is made entirely of male chest hair.

chest-hair-coat.jpg

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June 27, 2013

Bingo for biscuits

Biscuits -- what we call crackers or cookies (depending on whether they're savoury or sweet) here in the U.S.

'Bingo-for-biscuits' Brits fined in Portugal

Twenty-eight British and Irish expats and holiday-makers have been fined after police in Portugal caught them playing bingo for biscuits and drinks.

Landlady Marianne Pittaway, from North Yorkshire, was fined 700 euros (£595) for hosting the game at The Yorkshire Tavern in Albufeira, on Friday night.

Ms Pittaway, 34, also received a four-month suspended prison sentence.

She said she was "still in shock" and that the country's regulations were "wrong in a lot of aspects". [...]

The 28 appeared in court in Albufeira earlier to face charges of "exploitation of illegal gambling, illegal gambling and witnessing illegal gambling", according to the police.

Even some of the people in the bar who were not playing bingo were fined 150 euros (£125) and given a three-month suspended sentence for "witnessing illegal gambling".

Organisers of bingo in Portugal have to apply for a government licence.

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June 26, 2013

Eyeball action

As weird as this sounds, it's a fairly interesting article.

Eyeball-licking: the fetish that is making Japanese teenagers sick

Warning: don't read this if you're eating, prone to sudden bouts of queasiness or unable to even think about Un Chien Andalou without simultaneously bursting into tears and dry-heaving. Believe me, I'm speaking from experience here.

Because this is an article about oculolinctus, an eye-licking fetish that is currently sweeping across the schools of Japan like, well, like a great big dirty bacteria-coated tongue sweeping across a horrific number of adolescent eyeballs.

Sometimes known as "worming" – which somehow makes this whole thing worse – oculolinctus is being blamed for a significant rise in Japanese cases of conjunctivitis and eye-chlamydia, which is actually a thing. It's apparently seen as a new second-base; the thing you graduate to when kissing gets boring.

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June 25, 2013

WYSIWYG

Man calls Solihull police to complain about prostitute's looks

A man has been warned after he dialled 999 to complain about a prostitute's looks after meeting her.

West Midlands Police said they were contacted by the caller who said he "wished to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act".

The force said the call was received at about 19:30 BST on Tuesday complaining that the woman was not as attractive as she had claimed.

Officers have now sent the man a letter warning him about wasting police time. [...]

"The caller claimed that the woman had made out she was better looking than she actually was and he wished to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act," a spokesperson for the force said.

"When he raised this issue with the woman concerned, she allegedly took his car keys, ran away from the car and threw them back at him, prompting him to call police."

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June 24, 2013

Um, yeah... soup

Poet puts testicles up for sale

A Colombian poet and journalist has offered his testicles for sale to fund a trip to introduce Europeans to his work.

Raffael Medina Brochero yesterday told Radio Caracol he would sell them to the first person to agree to pay 375 million pesos ($A209,049) so that he could travel to Europe.

His testicles could be transplanted into a sterile person or used to make soup, said the 52-year-old poet, who has had 11 books published.

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June 20, 2013

TGFB (18)

A new take on 'grass-fed' meat: Pig farmer markets pork raised on marijuana

The possibilities when it comes to marketing meat made from marijuana-fed animals are close to endless, but the man who came up with the idea has decided to simply call them "Pot Pigs."

William von Scheneidau, owner and founder of BB Ranch in Seattle, didn't come up with the idea to feed pigs and other animals weed while sitting around a bong in the basement with his buddies.

In fact, he doesn't even smoke, he said.

Von Scheneidau said the notion came to him when he met the owners of a weed dispensary who told him that, ever since marijuana was legalized in Washington via popular vote last year, they've had extra stems, stalks, and leaves to get rid of.

He simply asked them if he could take what they were planning to throw out, as he once did with a farmer's rotting cantaloupes. [...]

Whenever von Scheneidau introduces a new substance to animals' diets, he makes sure to have a control group of animals that eat normally from the same family.

He said that the pigs that are fed the marijuana just lie around and barely lift their heads.

"I name all my pigs," said von Scheneidau "and Ted told Tim they shouldn't tell me," whether or not they're high.

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June 19, 2013

Imagination needed

Just to think up some better names for these poor aliens.

Whitby councillor claims to have fathered alien child

A LABOUR politician has defended his beliefs in extra-terrestrial life - after claiming to have fathered a child with an alien.

Married father-of-three Simon Parkes, who represents Stakesby on Whitby Town Council, said his wife had rowed with him after revealing he had a child called Zarka with an alien he refers to as the Cat Queen.

The 53-year-old driving instructor said he has sexual relations with the alien about four times a year.

"What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say 'I'm ready' and then the technology I don't understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth," he explained.

"My wife found out about it and was very unhappy, clearly. That caused a few problems, but it is not on a human level, so I don't see it as wrong."

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June 06, 2013

The things we do for love

Man stripped naked to 'propose marriage to girlfriend on the porch'

A Florida man has been tasered and arrested after he tried to propose to girlfriend while naked outside the wrong house at 3.45 a.m.

Casselberry police said that Thomas Edwards, 22, told them he was indeed outside his girlfriends home and that she had instructed him to ask for her hand in marriage while in the buff.

However, the startled homeowners informed Edwards that he was at the wrong house and promptly called the police who then had a bad-tempered confrontation with the naked man.

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May 31, 2013

Life imitates the web

Internet cat agent?

Grumpy Cat Has an Agent, and Now a Movie Deal

Some celebrities simply cannot be pleased. Just ask Ben Lashes, a talent manager in Los Angeles. This week, he landed a major motion-picture deal for a client who nine months ago was an unknown living in Morristown, Ariz., population 227.

When he told his client that she was heading to Hollywood, she looked bored. "She hates movies," says Mr. Lashes of his client, Grumpy Cat, a cat with a mouth puckered into a frown whose viral photos have ricocheted around the Internet.

Mr. Lashes, 34 years old, is an agent for Internet cats.

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May 29, 2013

Bad analogies

56 in this list, actually. Here are the first 10.

50+ of the Worst (Best) Analogies by High School Students

This list of hilariously mis-formulated analogies by high school students has been bouncing around the Interwebs for awhile, but it's so good that it deserves a repost. Lore has it that it originates from a Washington Post contest that asked teachers to send samples of the worst analogies from their students' work. The word "worst" is a bit of a misnomer because many of these analogies are unintentional genius and all of them are pretty hilarious. Enjoy:

  1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
  2. He was as tall as a 6'3? tree.
  3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
  4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
  5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
  6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
  7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
  8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
  9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
  10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

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May 24, 2013

Busted for inappropriate attire

Police stop cyclist near Bristol for 'not wearing Lycra'

A cyclist was stopped by police for not wearing "the right road bike clothing".

Tim Burton, 25, said he was pulled over in Keynsham on Wednesday for "not wearing Lycra".

He tweeted: "The PC said I wasn't dressed in appropriate gear to be riding my bike so had I stolen it?"

PC Keith James, from Avon and Somerset Police, said he stopped Mr Burton because it was "unusual to see an expensive bike being ridden by someone in non-cycling clothes."

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May 21, 2013

But is that cricket?

High school seniors release 10,000 crickets into halls, get banned from graduation

High school seniors were banned from graduation after releasing 10,000 crickets into its halls as a prank.

East Carter High School in Grayson, Ky., stopped seven students from attending Saturday morning's celebration because of the cost of the cleanup.

Principal Larry Kiser said the creepy critters were still hiding in nooks and crannies several days later — which meant costly exterminators, had to be called in.

And he revealed the students would not receive their diplomas until they had coughed up a collective $600 fine.

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May 20, 2013

Busting Robin Hood

Keene sues six parking meter 'Robin Hoods' who put money in expired meters

KEENE - The city has filed a lawsuit against six citizens, part of a group dubbed Robin Hood of Keene that patrols downtown armed with video cameras and pockets full of change to fill expired parking meters.[...]

"They say video recording or talking to them is harassing them, but I don't agree with that," "Robin Hooder" James Cleaveland said of parking enforcement officers. "So they want to establish a safety zone of fifty feet."

Members of the group place cards under windshield wipers that read, "Your meter expired; however, we saved you from the king's tariffs, Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Please consider paying it forward," and includes an address where donations can be sent.

The group says the suit was filed because the city is losing revenue from parking tickets. The city says the activists are harassing its employees.

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May 18, 2013

Unclear on the concept (3)

Man arrested for 'soliciting prostitute' on HONEYMOON after he leaves bride in hotel so he can meet hooker who is actually a cop

The honeymoon is over for Mohammed Ahmed.

The 21-year-old Illinois man was arrested for soliciting a prostitute last week while he was honeymooning with his new wife in Florida. [....]

Ahmed left his newlywed in their room at the Omni Hotel in Champions Gate when he went off on his sojourn to pay for sex.

When he never returned, the worried bride called the sheriff's office to report him missing.

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May 16, 2013

Vigilantes 1, vulgarians 0

Gothamist issues a certificate of commendation.

Heroic Theatergoer Smashes Cell Phone, Gets Thrown Out

We can't count the number of times we've wanted to enact vengeance on some inconsiderate audience member whose cell phone goes off during a performance. But, like most people, we just bottle that fury up deep down inside and take it out on the break room vending machine later. Not Kevin Williamson. Last night the National Review writer was in attendance at the marvelous new musical Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 when one theatergoer's incessant cell phone use finally drove him over the edge... into vigilantism. [...]

Although each table is explicitly told that photography and cell phone use is strictly prohibited during the performance, the people seated around Williamson were, he says, unbearable. "They were carrying on a steady conversation throughout entire show," Williamson, who also writes a theater column for New Criterion, tells us. "They had been quite loud and obnoxious the entire time. There were two groups, one to the left and one to the right who were being loud and disruptive."

During intermission, Williamson's date complained to the theater's management, but he says he didn't personally witness the theater managers admonish the disruptive audience members. And once the performance resumed, the woman sitting to Williamson's right on his bench would not, he says, stop using her cell phone. "It looked like she was Googling or something," Williamson tells us. "So I leaned over and told her it was distracting and told her to put it away. She responded, 'So don't look.' "

Blood boiling, Williamson says he then asked her, sarcastically, "whether there had been a special exemption for her about not using her phone during the play. She told me to mind my own business, and so I took the phone out of her hands. I meant to throw it out the side door, but it hit some curtains instead. I guess my aim's not as good as it should be." Asked if the phone was damaged, Williamson says, "It had to be; I threw it a pretty good distance."

Title comes from Mr. Williams' account of the events.

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May 15, 2013

Why New Yorkers are so popular

Rich Manhattan moms hire handicapped tour guides so kids can cut lines at Disney World

They are 1 percenters who are 100 percent despicable.

Some wealthy Manhattan moms have figured out a way to cut the long lines at Disney World — by hiring disabled people to pose as family members so they and their kids can jump to the front, The Post has learned.

The "black-market Disney guides" run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.

"My daughter waited one minute to get on 'It's a Small World' — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours," crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida.

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May 14, 2013

And God is her copilot, I'll bet

North Miami mayoral candidate says she was endorsed by Jesus

North Miami's unpredictable election exploits entered the final day on a divine note: a mayoral candidate claiming she was endorsed by Jesus Christ.

Anna Pierre, who previously said she was a victim of Vodou sorcery, posted the message in a campaign-style flier featured on her Facebook page.

This woman seems to have a lot going on.


Update:
Mayoral candidate in Florida defeated after claiming endorsement by Jesus

Anna Pierre, a registered nurse, claimed she was endorsed by Jesus Christ, but still finished last among the seven candidates in the North Miami mayor's race.

She didn't have a prayer.

A mayoral candidate in Florida was soundly defeated in her election on Tuesday despite claiming an endorsement by Jesus Christ.

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May 13, 2013

Senhor Testiculo

Danilo writes, "[H]ere in Brazil this is like a joke. Many people here can't understand how people can think that way. It's like a shame."

Senhor Testiculo (AKA 'Mr. Balls') Is Here To Save Brazilians From Testicular Cancer

We've got to hand it to this Brazilian cancer organization: Having a huge testicle as a mascot is pretty ballsy.

"Senhor Testiculo" (aka "Mr. Testicle" or "Mr. Balls"), recently made a very public appearance at an event run by the Associação de Assistência às Pessoas in Viçosa, Brazil. The mascot, which is literally a huge pair of testicles, appears quite cheerful in the numerous pictures from the event. (Just goes to show, you don't have to be testy to represent testicular cancer.)

Picture of this mascot at the link

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May 11, 2013

DIY invisibilty

Do-it-yourself invisibility with 3-D printing

Seven years ago, Duke University engineers demonstrated the first working invisibility cloak in complex laboratory experiments. Now it appears creating a simple cloak has become a lot simpler.

"I would argue that essentially anyone who can spend a couple thousand dollars on a non-industry grade 3-D printer can literally make a plastic cloak overnight," said Yaroslav Urzhumov, assistant research professor in electrical and computer engineering at Duke's Pratt School of Engineering. [...]

Urzhumov said that producing a cloak in this fashion is inexpensive and easy. He and his team made a small one at Duke which looks like a Frisbee™ disc made out of Swiss cheese. Algorithms determined the location, size and shape of the holes to deflect microwave beams. The fabrication process takes from three to seven hours. [...]

Just like the 2006 cloak, the newer version deflects microwave beams, but researchers feel confident that in the not-so-distant future, the cloak can work for higher wavelengths, including visible light.

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May 06, 2013

Don't it make your brown eyes blue

New laser surgery technique can turn your brown eyes blue

Of all the features we notice about a person upon meeting them, their eyes are often the first connection we make. But some people just aren't satisfied with the color of their peepers, wishing their dark corneas away in favor of a pleasant shade of blue. Those unhappy with brown eyes may find just what they're looking for: Laguna Beach doctor Gregg Homer has developed a new procedure that can actually convert brown-colored eyes to blue in just a matter of weeks.

The operation itself is fairly straight forward: Using a laser tuned to a special frequency, the doctor actually alters the cells that produce the brown coloration in the eye. After a few weeks, the darker color begins to fade, revealing the blue pigment underneath. As the doctor explains it, the procedure only works for brown-eyed individuals, as they already have a bluish coloration hiding underneath.

According to Homer, the procedure takes just 20 seconds to complete. [...] Homer and his company, Stroma Medical, have been working on the technology for over a decade, and say it will be available on a consumer basis within three years.

As Dave Barry wrote, "Lasers are amazing devices which emit beams of light powerful enough to vaporize a bulldozer, yet are so precise that they can be used in delicate optical surgery, provided the surgeon remembers to change the setting on the laser to ‘delicate optical surgery’ from ‘vaporize bulldozer'."

Via TYWKIWDBI who references Crystal Gayle's 1977 song.

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May 02, 2013

Unclear on the concept (2)

Victims take gun from suspects during home invasion, suspects come back asking for their gun

Edinburg police continue their search for a man accused of robbing three people early Saturday morning.

Investigators told Action 4 News two men burst into an apartment located on the 1400 block of West Carmen Street around 4:00 Saturday morning and demanded money. [...]

Police said during the robbery the victims were able to get the gun from the suspects; both fled the scene.
The victims called 911 and turned the gun over to police.

A few hours later the victims said the suspects came back and asked for their gun back—that is when the victims called police again.

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May 01, 2013

A little indiscreet, to say the least

She never should have walked the walk

Sometimes, to make a convincing case for yourself, you have to show as well as tell, walk the walk as well as talk the talk. [...]

Erica Tamburin made the mistake of walking the walk when she ought not have. She participated in the Ogden Newspapers Half Marathon in May 2010, finishing in 2 hours, 43 minutes (50th out of 173).

What would have been a respectable performance for anyone was truly extraordinary for a young woman claiming severe, permanent injuries from a car accident in the Cabela’s parking lot just six months earlier. (Ms. Tamburin was also listed as the first baseman for the HJS coed softball team subsequent to her accident.)

Tamburin filed suit against Cabela’s in 2011, claiming injuries to her head, neck, shoulders, back, chest, arms, body chemistry, and psyche. The exact nature of the injuries to her “body chemistry” and “psyche” is not known.

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April 30, 2013

Meet Mr. Slick

This cat has to be a crazy smooth talker.

Four female prison guards impregnated by same inmate

BALTIMORE Four female prison guards in Baltimore fell pregnant to the same inmate, according to authorities who have busted a major smuggling gang inside the jail system.

Two of the women tattooed the inmate's name on their bodies and he showered three of them with expensive gifts including cars and jewelry.

The four women are among 25 people who face federal charges, including 13 female prison guards, CBS Baltimore reports.

The scheme involved smuggling drugs and cell phones into Baltimore City Detention Center.

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April 29, 2013

First thing we do...

Let's kill all the lawyers. If you read the woman's feedback you'll see that it's very civil.

Med Express Sues Marginally Dissatisfied Customer For Posting Accurate Feedback On eBay

Here's yet another example of companies using lawsuits to censor speech -- a situation that would be stopped if there was a serious federal anti-SLAPP law in place. Paul Levy shares the incredible story of a company called "Med Express," an Ohio company, who appears to sell various medical equipment exclusively via eBay (there are other "Med Express" companies out there from what I can tell). One buyer, in South Carolina, purchased something, but was disappointed by the fact that the product arrived postage due. The woman noted it wasn't the fact that she had to pay, just the inconvenience of having to pay to get the delivery when it wasn't expected. In response, she left negative feedback on Med Express' eBay page.

While Med Express did express regret (while noting that some other customers had seen the same problem) and offered to reimburse the postage due, it also asked her to remove the negative review. However, as she noted, it wasn't the money issue, but the inconvenience, so she decided to leave her feedback up. At this point, Med Express and its lawyer, James Amodio, apparently decided that if she didn't like "inconvenience" it would subject her to more inconvenience and sued her for defamation in state court in Ohio and sought a temporary restraining order against eBay to block the review. While that failed, apparently the judge is allowing a hearing to happen for a preliminary injunction even though (as Levy points out) the same reason the TRO was rejected should apply to any preliminary injunction.

Amazingly, the complaint directly lays out the pretty clear fact that it's suing her for not removing a truthful review. They don't even attempt to argue that she said anything false or defamatory. Just that they feel she shouldn't have complained since they offered to reimburse.

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April 26, 2013

Hello there, sailor!

US sailor thwarts Dubai bus driver rapist

An off-duty US navy sailor wrestled a bus driver to the ground and beat him into submission after he attempted to rape her at knife point, a court heard yesterday.

Prosecutors said that she knocked the knife from his hand, broke it in two, bit him in the hand, forced him to the ground and locked him between her thighs.

The woman, 28, was on 24-hour shore leave in Dubai and was attacked as she returned to the port where she was based after a day shopping.

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April 25, 2013

There's an app for that (11)

The population of Iceland is only ~320, 000 people.

Iceland students create 'Incest Spoiler' Android app

REYKJAVíK, Iceland, April 22 (UPI) -- Three University of Iceland students said the smartphone app they designed is meant to prevent people from accidentally dating their cousins.

On the other hand, here are 31 famous people who married a first cousin.

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April 24, 2013

Banzai!

Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop comes to aid of woman being attacked

A Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop helped a neighbor woman escape a Tuesday morning attack by a man who had been stalking her.

Kent Hendrix woke up Tuesday to his teenage son pounding on his bedroom door and telling him somebody was being mugged in front of their house. The 47-year-old father of six rushed out the door and grabbed the weapon closest to him -- a 29-inch high carbon steel Samurai sword.

He came upon what he describes as a melee between a woman and a man. His son stayed inside to call 911 while he approached the man along with other neighbors who came to help. The martial arts instructor didn't hesitate in drawing the sword and yelling at him to get on the ground.

"His eyes got as big as saucers and he kind of gasped and jumped back," Hendrix said by phone Tuesday afternoon.

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Sounds like it's a contender

Is this the shortest TV career in history?

The weekend new anchor who started his new job by swearing live on air with his first words has been let go today by his news station in North Dakota.

KFYR news anchor A.J. Clemente opened up on air by saying 'F****** s***' into his live microphone, leaving his co-anchor dumbfounded.

Sadly though for Clemente, KFYRTV fired him today after less than 24-hours in the job and Clemente took to Twitter to say, 'Unfortunately KFYRTV has decided to let me go. Thank you to them and everyone in ND for the opportunity and everyone for the support.'

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April 23, 2013

Like flies to honey, I'll bet

Customers flock to topless barber shop

A Brisbane barber shop says it is attracting customers from hundreds of miles away - after offering topless trims.

It claims that customers travel from as far as Townesville - 850 miles away - for a short back and sides.

The scantily-clad barbers also offer scalp massages, brow waxing, blow dries and a shave with a cut-throat razor.

Owner operator Jasmine Robson said all her stylists were fully qualified hairdressers.

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April 22, 2013

Now that's a phat one

Video shows UC Santa Cruz police confiscating 2-pound joint from 4/20 party

A video posted to the Internet shows police on the University of California, Santa Cruz campus confiscating what is described as a 2-pound marijuana joint Saturday.

According to various accounts on the Internet, the incident happened at an annual event that marks April 20, or 4/20, numbers which have become associated with smoking marijauna.

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April 19, 2013

Good morning!

Boy, 16, charged with assault for urinating in school staffroom coffee pot after teachers report strange 'chemical taste'

A 16-year-old Missouri boy has been charged with assault after allegedly urinating into his teachers' staffroom coffee pot.

The unidentified boy is accused of being caught on camera sneaking into the room at Central High School, St Joseph, and urinating into the glass container.

After three weeks of investigation and watching surveillance video from a hidden staffroom camera, headteacher Melody Smith said staff identified a possible culprit and notified police.

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April 18, 2013

Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail

When Dinner Has a Gleam in Its Eye

BEIJING — Bundled up on a wind-whipped day, about 30 people lined up outside a restaurant takeout window here, waiting for rabbit heads.

For guests in the main dining room, a video explained how to eat the fist-size heads. Su Yong, the restaurant's enthusiastic chef and star of the video, demonstrated by pulling open the rabbit's mouth and separating the jaw from the skull before splitting the jawbone in two and sucking off the succulent meat. In case there was any confusion, brochures with diagrams rested on each table.

Mr. Su is a sort of rabbit head evangelist, drawing celebrities to his restaurant, Old Street Rabbit, to help drum up crowds. He holds aloft one half of a tiny jawbone, explaining that it can be employed as a pick, and then uses the incisor to scoop out an eye, window to the bunny's soul.

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April 17, 2013

Self-contempt

Judge holds self in contempt for his smartphone

IONIA, Mich. (AP) — A Michigan judge whose smartphone disrupted a hearing in his own courtroom has held himself in contempt and paid $25 for the infraction.

Judge Raymond Voet has a posted policy at Ionia County 64A District Court stating that electronic devices causing a disturbance during court sessions will result in the owner being cited with contempt, the Sentinel-Standard of Ionia and MLive.com reported.

On Friday afternoon, during a prosecutor's closing argument as part of a jury trial, Voet's new smartphone began to emit sounds requesting phone voice commands. Voet said he thinks he bumped the phone, and the embarrassment likely left his face red.

"I'm guessing I bumped it. It started talking really loud, saying 'I can't understand you. Say something like Mom,'" he said. [...]

Over the years, the judge whose court is about 110 miles northwest of Detroit has taken phones away from police officers, attorneys, witnesses, spectators and friends. During a break in the trial, Voet held himself in contempt, fined himself and paid the fine.

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April 16, 2013

That description isn't much of a recommendation

Elephant Dung Beer Sounds Grosser Than It Tastes

Last year, the first elephant dung coffee debuted on the scene at a whopping $1,100 per kilogram. Don't worry, the coffee doesn't actually taste like feces, but rather like an earthy and smooth blend. It just happens to be made from beans that passed through an elephant's digestive tract.

This month, Sankt Gallen, a Japanese brewery, decided to take the elephant dung "trend" one step further by creating elephant dung beer. According to RocketNews24, Sankt Gallen debuted the brew on April Fools' Day, and it sold out within minutes.

The beer, titled "Un, Kono Kuro" -- a pun on "unko," the Japanese word for "crap" -- is a coffee stout made with elephant dung coffee beans.

A contributor to RocketNews24 got his hands on a few bottles and seemed quite taken with the creation. "For some time after I could still feel as if my body was saturated with that warm scent," he wrote. "Luckily there were two more bottles left."

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April 15, 2013

Straight out of Tom Sawyer

Chinese undertaker offering fake funerals for the living

Last month, 24 pretend funerals were held at the Shimenfeng Celebrity Culture Park cemetery in the Chinese city of Wuhan.

"It was the first time we ever offered this kind of service," said Zhang Bei, the mortuary's 30-year-old "cemetery designer", who argued the experience could help people better appreciate their lives.

The fake funerals were the brainchild of Zeng Jia, a 20-year-old student, who became the first to lie down in a coffin during her fake wake at the end of March.

Ms Zeng, who is studying to be an undertaker, said she had come up with the idea after a relative suffered a brain haemorrhage and died in 2011. "I was so touched by this incident," she said.

Workers at the cemetery were initially confused by Ms Zeng's idea but were eventually convinced.

"We were really surprised but found [the concept] new and interesting," said Ms Zhang.

Despite the absence of genuine cadavers, Ms Zhang said the funeral services were realistic, involving coffins, floral bouquets, mourners, photographers and even emotion-packed speeches from friends of the 'deceased'. [...]

"The atmosphere is quite light-hearted, just like a party," said Ms Zhang.

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April 11, 2013

Immune to his meds, it sounds like

Man who faked diplomatic immunity sent to prison

SALT LAKE CITY — An Ogden man who pleaded guilty to charges stemming from falsely claiming diplomatic immunity during a traffic stop and then billing police and other government agencies $53 trillion in damages is headed to prison for three years.

A federal judge sentenced 55-year-old Harvey Douglas Goff on Monday. [...]

Court documents show that the 55-year-old Goff told police that he had diplomatic immunity during a traffic stop about two years ago and then demanded $53 trillion in damages.

When he wasn't paid, he filed liens on 77 parcels of land in Weber County. Some of them included personal property of government officials.

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April 10, 2013

And now he has some real problems

Police: Wedding ring pawned to pay hooker

GREENWOOD, S.C., April 4 (UPI) -- Police in South Carolina said they arrested a man who allegedly admitted to pawning his wedding ring to pay a prostitute.

The Greenwood Police Department said an officer pulled over a vehicle in an area known to be frequented by prostitutes and drug dealers [...] WYFF-TV, Greenville, S.C., reported Thursday.

The driver, Marvin Holmes II, 33, allegedly told the officer he decided to pick up a prostitute because he was having problems with his wife.

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April 05, 2013

See scenic North Korea

North Korea tourism 'booming' despite war threats

A handful of state-sanctioned travel operators have been guiding tourists through the otherwise secretive North Korea for several years now, and they say business is booming despite the nation's recent threats of nuclear war against neighbouring South Korea and the U.S.

"All [our] sources are saying that this is just the latest — notably a particularly big wave — but still just another wave" of anti-Western sentiment, Richie Fenner, a 23-year-old Brit who has visited North Korea 20 times, told CBC News. [...]

"You definitely feel you're somewhere very, very different to anywhere else you've been before," he says. So he invested in YPT and came on board as a guide for the company whose tagline is: "Adventure travel to destinations your mother would rather you stayed away from."

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April 04, 2013

Nice work if you can get it (10)

'Tall white foreigner from Wales singing songs about communism' is hit in China

Iain Inglis, 30, shot to fame after singing traditional communist revolutionary songs while dressed in a Red Army uniform.

The university lecturer made it to the semi-finals of the show [China's Got Talent - JdJ] and now performs for up to £5,000 a night.

"I'm a tall, white foreigner from Wales singing songs about communism in Chinese," Mr Inglis, from Cardiff, said. "It was a bit of fun to start off with but the more performances I did, the more I was hooked. For some reason the Chinese people seem to find it quite hilarious."

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April 03, 2013

How cool would this be?

Too bad it's an April Fools joke

Virgin Atlantic Launches World's First-Ever Glass-Bottomed Plane

As you may have seen in the national press, after nearly 30 years of providing the ultimate long-haul flying experience, Virgin Atlantic and our founder Richard Branson are once again flying in the face of ordinary by announcing the creation of a world first in aircraft innovation. This technological innovation coincides with the start of our first ever domestic service, Little Red.

Today we've announced that our world-class engineering crew have been secretly working on the design and production of the world's first-ever glass-bottomed plane, created to ensure passengers can enjoy both an unparalleled flying experience, as well as a selection of stunning landscapes from the comfort of their seats.

glass-bottomed-plane.jpg

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April 02, 2013

Another Darwin Award nominee

Man hurt flying kite from moving vehicle in Calif.

RIVERSIDE, Calif. -- A 22-year-old man was critically hurt in Southern California when he fell off the trunk of a car while attempting to fly a kite from the moving vehicle. [...]

Authorities say the car's driver wasn't injured and alcohol was not involved.

H.T. Carol

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April 01, 2013

Getting around in Moscow

Wealthy Russians hiring ambulances to cut through Moscow traffic

We're not sure how widespread the practice is, but the option is apparently out there: Russian police have discovered companies on the Internet offering rides in "ambulance-taxis" through notoriously bad Moscow traffic. For roughly 6,000 rubles per hour – about $193 US, which doesn't sound like much for a wealthy Russian – the 'customer' will get to cut through gridlock in an ambulance with flashing lights and the proper paint scheme outside but a refitted, leather-lined interior.

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March 27, 2013

I wonder what they charge for window-shopping?

This won't end well...

Store Charges Customers $5 'Just Looking' Fee To Combat Showrooming

There's a store in Australia that really hates it when its customers walk around the store without buying anything.

Redditor BarrettFox posted a pic of a sign informing shoppers of a new fee at a specialty food store in Brisbane.

It's $5 for "just looking."

The fee exists to stop people from "showrooming" — which occurs when a customer looks at items in a physical store, then makes the purchase online.

The sign assures that you'll have the five dollars deducted from the final purchase price, so you'll get your money back if you buy something.

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March 26, 2013

Scrapping the breathalyzers

This was first mentioned about 6 weeks ago.

Irish Town Legalizes Drinking and Driving

Law allows people to "to drive home from their nearest pub after having two or three drinks on little-used roads driving at very low speeds."

The Irish town of Kilgarvan passed a law this winter that allows members of its community to drink and drive.

Proposed by local pub owner and politician Danny Healy-Rae, the motion allows people who live in country areas to have a few beers before they drive home.

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March 25, 2013

Earworm cure

Get that tune out of your head - scientists find how to get rid of earworms

They are the songs you cannot get out of your head. Now scientists may have found a way to help anyone plagued by those annoying tunes that lodge themselves inside our heads and repeat on an endless loop.

Researchers claim the best way to stopping the phenomenon, sometimes known as earworms – where snippets of a catchy song inexplicably play like a broken record in your brain – is to solve some tricky anagrams.

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March 22, 2013

It took 4 years?

There's got to be more to this story.

Taiwanese Woman Stifles Snicker, Divorces Man After Discovering Underwhelming Endowment

A Taiwanese couple, a 55-year old man and 52-year old woman, have divorced after four years living in separate apartments following the woman's wedding night discovery that her new husband's member appeared to have a severe case of dwarfism.

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March 21, 2013

Snowy street art in Germany

Snow sculpture car gets parking ticket

Traffic wardens slipped up in Germany when they left a parking ticket - on a full-sized snow sculpture of a Volkswagen Beetle.

Pranksters had built the car overnight in a no-parking zone in Aachen, complete with outlines for its headlights, windscreens and even the distinctive VW badge on the bonnet.

"It was incredibly realistic looking. It looked like you could get into it and drive away once you'd swept the snow off," said one local.

Via The Presurfer

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March 19, 2013

I tawt I taw a puddy tat

Image of this late feline at the site.

'Bad taste' cat-skin rug auction upsets animal advocates

The sale of a stuffed cat as a taxidermic skin rug has upset animal advocates who say the TradeMe auction is in bad taste and disturbing.

The ginger tabby is being sold online as a "great little gift for the man-cave". Bids close tonight at 8pm.

Tauranga taxidermist Andrew Lancaster found the cat on the Napier-Taupo highway last month.

"I thought 'that's a pretty nice looking cat', did a u-turn and picked it up." He thought the cat must have been "run straight over" as there was no broken skin, but bruising inside.

"There's been about 2500 views. I usually get 100 views a week on some of my other items," he said.

Mr Lancaster's typical stuffed possums usually sold for about $70. By last night, $251 had already been bid for the cat.

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March 18, 2013

Panda see, pando do

'Panda porn' gets a surprising number of Google hits (surprising to me, at least).

Panda porn pays off for conservationists

Conservationists are cock-a-hoop in China after a shy pair of pandas successfully mated after watched a 'wildlife porn' video.

Vets at the Panda Breeding and Research Base in Chengdu, Sichuan province, were worried when inexperienced five-year-old female Colin kept rejecting her mate,Yongyong.

So they played the played the pair a film of pandas doing what comes naturally to show them what they should be up to. [...]

"So we played them the film and she took great interest in it. After that there was no stopping her and they mated successfully."

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March 14, 2013

D'oh! (6)

CNN host suggests link between asteroid, global warming

CNN anchor Deb Feyerick suggested Saturday afternoon that global warming may extend further than our globe. [...]

"We want to bring in our science guy, Bill Nye, and talk about something else that's falling from the sky, and that is an asteroid," the anchor said. "What's coming our way? Is this the effect of, perhaps, global warming? Or is this just some meteoric occasion?"

Via TYWKIWDBI

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March 13, 2013

Tough times in Oklahoma

Levity may not be appropriate but this could be the basis of a really funny C&W song.

Woman Tries to Sell Kids on Facebook

Misty VanHorn, 22, of Sallisaw, Oklahoma, was arrested on Saturday for attempting to sell her 10-month-old daughter and 2-year-old son on Facebook, according to The Sequoyah County Times, which reported the news over the weekend. She is being held on $40,000 bail.

After posting a number of offers on Facbeook, VanHorn made contact over the network with a woman in nearby Fort Smith, Arkansas, to whom she offered to sell the 10-month-old for $1,000, or both children together for $4,000. She later spoke to the woman over the phone in an effort to seal the deal, telling her she needed the money to bail her boyfriend out of jail. [...]

Although you might think selling your children would be illegal in all 50 states, it's by no means clear that this is actually the case. In Mississippi, it was technically legal to sell your children until 2009, when the state legislature passed a law in response to a 2008 case.

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March 11, 2013

Yeah, that'll work

...though probably not as well as an S&W M&P9.

Guerilla knitting in Leicester 'to reduce crime fear'

Hundreds of pom-poms and knitted items have been strung from trees and lampposts to help reduce the fear of crime in an area of Leicester.

Leicestershire Police hope the "guerilla knitting" or "yarn bombing" will encourage more people to use Bede Park and Great Central Way.

Some of the park's users told BBC Radio Leicester the items - including tree warmers - do not make them feel safer.

But criminologist Charlotte Bilby said they could have a positive effect.

Ms Bilby, a senior lecturer in criminology at Northumbria University, said: "I think that making an area look cosier certainly makes an area feel safer.

"If you see something that makes you smile, that makes you think that other people have enjoyed being in that space and have done something funny, something silly in that place, then that's going to change your perception about what it is to be in Bede Park."

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March 08, 2013

New meaning for the phrase 'Bite me!'

You Can Make Gummy Bear Versions of Yourself

Somewhere in between the honor of getting a bronze statue of yourself and the shame of re-creating your sexual organs in plastic is this awesome gummy bear yourself service. You can basically create a gummy replica of yourself to eat. It looks absolutely delicious.

FabCafe in Japan is offering the service for approximately $65 (6,000 Yen), which sounds like a complete steal to me. It's apparently a 2-part process that requires a 3D body scanner and a lot of gummy colors.

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March 07, 2013

The hot spots in Idaho

Walmart: The place to go for milk, toiletries ... a new girlfriend?

"You caught my eye in the bottled water aisle": The Craigslist section called "missed connections," where people write about fleeting glances, brief flirtations and love-at-first-sight magic, is the loneliest, most hopeful corner of the Internet.

Idaho's hot spot: Based on tallies, the local Walmart store is a popular place for Idahoans to pine for strangers. That's according to an analysis published in the February issue of Psychology Today.

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March 06, 2013

All dressed down and no place to go

Half-naked woman, 28, 'flees scene of DUI crash at her trailer park home in child's battery-operated toy truck'

An intoxicated woman tried to flee the scene of a car accident in a child's toy truck, authorities said on Tuesday.

Jamie Craft, 28, was reportedly drunk when she slammed her car into the side of a trailer home in Jonesboro, Arkansas.

Craft, who was not wearing any pants, then tried to escape the scene by jumping in a child's battery-powered dumper truck which has a top speed of 5mph.

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March 05, 2013

Pure genius (2)

Brooklyn man fakes his own kidnapping to explain two-week absence to girlfriend

A Brooklyn man faked his own kidnapping because he was terrified of his lover's wrath.

Rahmell Pettway, 36, told cops he spent two weeks away from his Bedford-Stuyvesant home — and then staged the crime to explain his absence to his girlfriend.

But his poorly executed plan unraveled when the cops who found him hog-tied in the street noticed the roll of duct tape still dangling from his wrists.

He eventually came clean, and was arrested for filing a false report.

"He's a total moron," said one law-enforcement source. "It was a pathetic attempt to pull the wool [over] her eyes."

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March 04, 2013

No good deed goes unpunished?

Cypress HS student suspended for disarming gunman?

FORT MYERS, Fla. - A 16-year-old Cypress Lake High School student, who wrestled a loaded revolver away from a teen threatening to shoot, is being punished.

The student grappled the gun away from the 15-year-old suspect on the bus ride home Tuesday after witnesses say he aimed the weapon point blank at another student and threatened to shoot him.

The student, who Fox 4 has agreed not to identify and distort his voice because he fears for his safety, says there's "no doubt" he saved a life by disarming the gunman. And for that he was suspended for three days.

"I think he was really going to shoot him right then and there," the student said. "Not taking no pity." [...]

According to the referral, he was suspended for being part of an "incident" where a weapon was present and given an "emergency suspension."

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February 28, 2013

Drinking to their health

Massachusetts man drinking his way across the state for a good cause

If you need a good reason to have a beer at 9:30 in the morning, Todd Ruggere has one.

"I'm drinking a Sam Adams in all 351 towns in Massachusetts and I'm doing it for charity," Ruggere said.

His latest stop was in Waltham at the Tempo Bistro.

And with each swig, he's raising money for Dana Farber and the Jimmy Fund to help with children's cancer research.

"I've always wanted to raise money for it and never really had a good idea, and I came up with this idea and everyone seems to love it," Ruggere said.

His mission: one beer a day at a different bar, in a different Massachusetts town.

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February 26, 2013

The lottery party was a blast

Brothers celebrate lottery win by blowing up house

Two brothers who were celebrating a $75,000 winning lottery ticket by purchasing marijuana and meth accidentally blew up their house on Friday, said Sgt. Bruce Watts of the Wichita Police Department.

The explosion sent one of the brothers – a 27-year-old – to the hospital, where he remains in serious but stable condition with second-degree burns on his hands, arms and chest.

The other brother was sent to jail, Watts said.

The brothers were in a house in the 100 block of North Nevada Court, near Douglas and West Street, about 7 p.m. Friday, Watts said. One of the brothers went to the kitchen to refuel the butane torches they planned to use to light their bongs. He emptied a couple of large cans of butane lighter fluid, leaking butane into the air.

"The butane vapor reached the pilot light in the furnace, and as you might expect, ka-boom," Watts said.

The victim was wearing a lottery T-shirt during the explosion.

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February 25, 2013

She's got legs, she knows how to use them

'Absolute territory'... heh.

Young Japanese Women Rent Out Their Bare Legs as Advertising Space

A good way to make sure your advertisement gets plenty of exposure is to place it where a lot of people are looking. With this important marketing rule in mind, one Japanese advertising service is offering brands a novel way to raise awareness to their business – placing advertising stickers on the bare thighs of young girls.

[...] Japanese PR company Absolute Territory PR has begun paying young women to wear advertising stickers on their "absolute territory" – the part of their thighs between the edge of their miniskirts and their high socks. Apparently this area of the female thigh is very popular with Japanese men, as evidenced by the fact that it even has its own Facebook page.



But wait! There's more...

Farmer Uses Sheep as Living Billboards

English farmer, James Metcalfe, has brought a whole new meaning to the term "branding", after using his sheep to advertise a business venture.

After authorities denied his request to erect billboards near the A1 highway, because they could distract drivers, Metcalfe, from Dalton, North Yorkshier, decided to advertise his turf company using 20 of his sheep as living banners. Sheep marker comes in spray cans so it was quite easy to write Tyas Turf on the oblivious animals, and since the fields they graze on are right next to the A1, they're just as good as any billboards.

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February 23, 2013

Value is subjective

Vintage porn? I think it's funny that people add up their costs for something and then call that the value of the thing.

Earlie Johnson's vintage porn collection stolen

MUSKEGON, Mich. (WZZM) - A lakeshore man says it's taken him years, and thousands of dollars to assemble the collection of vintage pornography stolen from his house.

Earlie Johnson says he arrived home Tuesday afternoon to find his back door was kicked in. Three flat-screen TVs were taken, along with his stockpile of DVDs. [...]

Angela Morton, Johnson's fiancé says she first realized the adult film collection was missing. "I went in the bedroom and I told him 'oh you really getting ready to be mad.' He said why? I said 'all your porn is gone,'" said Morton.

"I had a sinking felling because my porn collection is valuable, man," Johnson told WZZM 13.

Johnson collects rare performances by black adult film stars that were difficult for him to find and impossible to replace. He says the stolen pornography collection is worth $7,500, much more than the televisions that were taken.

H.T. Paul B

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February 21, 2013

There's an app for that (10)

Ghost writer: New app to keep you tweeting after death

A new application will soon allow users to keep posting Twitter updates from beyond the grave, independently using intricate knowledge of your online character to create a virtual continuation of your personality after you die.

­"When your heart stops beating, you'll keep tweeting," says the new application's tagline.

'LivesOn' will let users pursue 'life after death' on their social media profiles, letting the deceased communicate with loved ones. LivesOn will keep posting after you kick the bucket, following the example of the DeadSocial platform.

[...] The service will utilize advanced analysis of your main Twitter feed, to carefully select appropriate subjects, likes, or articles that would have been likely to interest you, posting them on your behalf for your friends to read.

[...] Users of LivesOn can even nominate an 'executor' to their LivesOn will, who will decide whether to keep the account 'live'.

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February 20, 2013

Nice work if you can get it (9)

5 Bizarre Workers' Comp Claims That Were Actually Successful

#5. A Woman Breaks a Lamp With Her Face Mid-Coitus

In 2007, an Australian woman filed for workers' compensation benefits after being hit in the face by a lamp that she ripped from the wall while having violent sex in a hotel room on a business trip (this is the only kind of sex that is ever had in hotel rooms).

Her employers initially rejected the claim, as well they should have, on the grounds that sex was "not an ordinary incident of an overnight stay." However, a federal judge overturned the decision, arguing that "no approval, express or implied, of the respondent's conduct was required."

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February 19, 2013

Yeah, quantum mechanics is weird but...

Prof Strips, Shows 9/11 Footage, Impales Stuffed Animal (VIDEO)

A science professor at Columbia University on Monday began a quantum mechanics lecture by stripping into his boxers and eating a banana while rap music played in the background.

Then it got weird.

The professor, Emlyn Hughes, proceeded to redress himself in black, complete with sunglasses, and hug himself on stage at the front of the classroom, a large theater.

As Hughes sat in the fetal position, two "actors" dressed in ninja costumes walked onstage and placed white stuffed animals – lambs – on stools before the audience, according to a student-recorded video of the incident posted on Vimeo.com by "Bwog," a campus news website run by Columbia students.

The ninjas blindfolded the lambs, then a ninja impaled one of the stuffed animals with a long sword and banged it against the stool – right as an image of a plane hitting one of the Twin Towers on 9/11 started rolling on a large screen behind the performance.

H.T. Jeff G

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February 18, 2013

Pants optional. Dash cams not.

Why Almost Everyone in Russia Has a Dash Cam

How is it possible that a dozen different motorists around the Russian city of Chelyabinsk were able to capture video of a massive meteor flying through the sky? Because almost everyone in Russia has a dash-mounted video camera in their car.

The sheer size of the country, combined with lax — and often corrupt — law enforcement, and a legal system that rarely favors first-hand accounts of traffic collisions has made dash cams all but a requirement for motorists.

"You can get into your car without your pants on, but never get into a car without a dash cam," Aleksei Dozorov, a motorists' rights activist in Russia told Radio Free Europe last year.

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February 15, 2013

Special delivery (3)

This College Student Founded A Startup Delivering Emergency Condoms On Campus

By day, Kyle McCabe is a sophomore student at the College of New Jersey in Ewing Township.

By night, he's the president of his very own startup called "Condam," which is short for "Condom Ambulance."

McCabe describes Condam as an "emergency contraceptive delivery service" – hence the flashing siren on his head during deliveries.

Students can place orders online at Condam.net, and they can choose from a wide selection of condom types and flavors.

condam.gif

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February 14, 2013

I'll bet you didn't know

The world's most experienced penis reattachment surgeons can be found in Thailand...

"... where, during the 1970s, an estimated one hundred vengeful Thai wives, spurred by media coverage of a prominent 1973 case, sliced off the penises of their adulterous husbands as they slept. [...] The most serious complication, in the Thai attacks, was infection. Two of the wives flushed the penises down the toilet, forcing their husbands to grope for their lost manhood inside the septic tank. (Incredibly, both were found, cleaned, cleaned some more, and reattached.) More commonly, the women would hurl the penis out the window. In the cases described in 'Surgical Management of an Epidemic of Penile Amputations in Siam,' all the recovered penises were 'grossly contaminated.' Better that than eaten by livestock. Many rural Thai homes are elevated on pilings, with the family's pigs, chickens, and ducks tending to mill about seeking shade in the space underneath. It is not, oddly, the pigs, but rather the ducks, that the castrated Thai must worry about. The paper does not provide the exact number of penises eaten by ducks, but the author says there have been enough over the years to prompt the coining of a popular saying: 'I better get home or the ducks will have something to eat.'"

Via Althouse (with a tip o' the hat to Jeff G).

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February 13, 2013

You'll never guess where this happened (2)

Unicorns' Existence Proven, Says North Korea

You can be forgiven for thinking that unicorns only exist in medieval fables and modern-day cartoons. North Korean scientists say you are wrong.

On Thursday, the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), the North Korea's government mouthpiece, said scientists "reconfirmed" the location of the burial site of the unicorn ridden by King Dongmyeong, the founding father of the ancient Korean kingdom of Goguryeo (37 BC-668 AD).

The unicorn's grave was rediscovered near a temple in the capital Pyongyang, with a rectangular rock engraved with the words 'Unicorn Lair' at its entrance, according to the report. The report did not elaborate on what further evidence of the royal unicorn's existence was discovered.

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February 12, 2013

You'll never guess where this happened

Kerry Councillors call for permits to allow rural drink-driving

Kerry County Councillors have backed a motion calling for a permit system to be introduced which would allow rural people drink in moderation and drive.

The motion from Councillor Danny Healy-Rae was passed this afternoon 5 votes to 3 with the remainder of the 27 councillors either absent from the vote or abstaining.

Councillor Healy-Rae is calling on the Minister for Justice to bring in legislation which would allow Gardai issue permits to people living in isolated rural areas.

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February 11, 2013

It's raining spiders

Think Nemo's Bad? In Brazil It's Raining Spiders

What's that? You're worried about a little snow falling on your head? How adorable.

Meanwhile, in Brazil, it's raining spiders.

Footage posted online yesterday shows thousands of spiders "falling from the sky" in the southern Brazilian town of Santo Antônio da Platina.

Video at the link

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February 07, 2013

An unusual choice for a weapon

Death by cunnilingus

Look, I do not relish making light of attempted murder. But sometimes you just need to write about a really crazy attempted murder.

A Brazilian woman has been accused of trying to kill her husband by putting poison in her vagina and asking him to have oral sex with her.

The intended victim — identified only as a 43-year-old man from Sao de Jose Rio Preto – knew something was going on when he noticed an unfamiliar odor coming from his wife's freshly poisoned nether region.

But here's the thing about vaginas, as this woman soon learned: They are very porous.

Realizing that his wife was probably absorbing a majority of the poison she had intended to kill him with, he brought her to the hospital and saved her life.

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February 06, 2013

Presidential Monsters

Action figures of some US Presidents as Hollywood monsters.

prez-monsters.jpg

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February 05, 2013

Tag!

It Takes Planning, Caution to Avoid Being 'It'
Group of Men Have Played Game of Tag for 23 Years; Hiding in Bushes, Cars

Earlier this month, Brian Dennehy started a new job as chief marketing officer of Nordstrom Inc. In his first week, he pulled aside a colleague to ask a question: How hard it is for a nonemployee to enter the building?

Mr. Dennehy doesn't have a particular interest in corporate security. He just doesn't want to be "It."

Mr. Dennehy and nine of his friends have spent the past 23 years locked in a game of "Tag."

It started in high school when they spent their morning break darting around the campus of Gonzaga Preparatory School in Spokane, Wash. [...]

The game they play is fundamentally the same as the schoolyard version: One player is "It" until he tags someone else. But men in their 40s can't easily chase each other around the playground, at least not without making people nervous, so this tag has a twist. There are no geographic restrictions and the game is live for the entire month of February. The last guy tagged stays "It" for the year.

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February 04, 2013

Zen of profanity

F**k It: The Ultimate Spiritual Way

fuck-it.jpg

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Cash & carry

Bank Robber Uses Test Drive as Get-Away

MANTECA–

It's was a Chrysler 5th Avenue with only 64,000 miles for $2,200. One sweet ride. But police say when Gail Castle came to buy a Manteca man's car, she took him on a trip he will never forget.

"She said 'would you trust me to drive the car?' I said I wouldn't trust you to back it out of the driveway," said the Manteca man who didn't want to be identified.

They both got in the car, for what the man thought was going to be a short drive down the block. But he says Castle eventually asked him to take her to the bank, where she would get the cash to buy the car.

He did, taking Castle to the Bank of America in downtown Manteca. The bank was crowded, so the man says he was surprised when Castle came out just a few minutes later, flashing him a purse stuffed with bills.

They headed back to the man's home to complete the deal. But they only got so far.

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January 31, 2013

Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here

Japanese Restaurant Uses Dirt as the Main Ingredient for Its Expensive Dishes

While most chefs work hard to make sure no dirt winds up in their food, at French restaurant Ne Quittez Pas, in Tokyo, Japan, dirt is actually used as a key ingredient.

Mind you, this isn't just any kind of dirt. It's a special black soil from Kanuma, Tochigi Prefecture, that's actually been tested for safety, but it's still the thing most people use to grow plants in. So how did dirt wind up on the menu of this respectable venue? Apparently, Chef Toshio Tanabe once won a cooking competition with his signature dirt sauce, and from that point on he put together an entire menu based on the unusual ingredient. Now the restaurant is offering dishes priced as high as $110 with Kanuma dirt in them.

Title reference

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January 29, 2013

There's an app for that (7)

Penis-Measuring iPhone App Promises to Quantify Your Shortcomings

Here's an entry that's likely to get booted from Apple's App Store, but not before it leaves a trail of insecurity in its wake—the Condom Size app from VSM Enterprises, which claims to accurately measure not just the length of the male penis but also its girth.

Talk about a real junk app, am I right?

But seriously, Condom Size is billed as a useful, ahem, tool that helps men can select the proper-sized condoms for their particular brand of equipment. And that's all it will ever be used for, we're quite sure.

(What that app needs is this -- definitely NSFW -- tune.)

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January 28, 2013

Real woman of genius

Prostitution suspect lured into police HQ

SALEM -- The Civic Center in Salem looks like a nondescript building on the outside. It's the hub for city business that includes the police department.

"There's signs all over the Civic Center directing you to the police department," said Lt. Dave Okada.

Apparently those signs are not very visible. Two weeks ago, according to Okada, a detective on the street crimes unit posed as a "John" on line. He met a Portland woman who agreed to come to Salem and perform sex acts with the officers in exchange for money. [...]

That is where police arrested Smith. She missed several signs indicating she was at the actual police department. She walked by three uniformed officers.

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January 26, 2013

+10 for style

Knox woman leads deputies on lengthy pursuit, crash; never drops her beer

KNOXVILLE — Despite allegedly striking a deputy's cruiser head-on, then running it off the road and leading authorities on 10-minute chase spanning two counties before crashing, she apparently never dropped her beer.

Trishia Moody, 26, of Knoxville, is charged with first offense DUI and a host of other offenses following the Monday night debacle, according to the Knox County Sheriff's Office.

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January 25, 2013

A real desperado

Boy fakes own kidnapping to stop parents from meeting teacher

It probably seemed like a good idea at the time. An 11-year-old Spanish boy faked his own kidnapping, according to the U.K.'s Guardian, because his mom and dad were set to meet his teacher later that day—and he didn't want to be around for the aftermath.

Needless to say, things didn't go as planned. The boy sent a text message to his father—a police officer in the northern town of Xinzo de Limia—saying he had been kidnapped and stuffed in the back of a car. His father called him immediately. The boy said he didn't know where he was being taken. He then faked phone static and hung up. Chaos ensued. [...]

The boy apparently had been terrified about the parent-teacher conference. "The child's poor school scores in recent weeks appear to explain a form of behavior that no one in Xinzo could understand," the Guardian said, explaining the quote was from a report in Spain's Voz de Galicia newspaper.

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January 24, 2013

The Shovel Fairy

Cleaning Fairy' busted while shoveling

ELYRIA, Ohio, Jan. 23 (UPI) -- Police in Ohio said a woman previously arrested for breaking into homes to clean them was arrested while shoveling strangers' driveways.

Elyria Police said they responded to a report of a "suspicious female" shoveling a home's driveway without permission Tuesday and they arrived to find Susan Warren, 53, WOIO-TV, Cleveland, reported Wednesday.

Warren was dubbed "The Cleaning Fairy" when she was busted in November 2012 for allegedly breaking into a house and cleaning it, leaving behind a handwritten bill for $75.

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January 23, 2013

It's news to me too

Cheese fire causes traffic meltdown in Norway tunnel

(Reuters) - A truckload of burning cheese has closed a road tunnel in Arctic Norway for the last six days.

Some 27 metric tons of flaming brown cheese (brunost), a Norwegian delicacy, blocked off a three-km (1.9 mile) tunnel near the northern coastal town of Narvik when it caught fire last Thursday. The fire was finally put out on Monday.

"This high concentration of fat and sugar is almost like petrol if it gets hot enough," said Viggo Berg, a policeman.

Brown cheese is made from whey, contains up to 30 percent fat and has a caramel taste.

"I didn't know that brown cheese burns so well," said Kjell Bjoern Vinje at the Norwegian Public Roads Administration.

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January 22, 2013

It must have been her birthday

Drunk driver didn't know she was naked, Sparta cops say

[...] Sparta police say a drunken, seemingly confused and almost completely nude woman crashed into a home's stone retaining wall early Friday morning.

At 12:53 a.m., a resident of Grove Terrace, in the Lake Mohawk section of the township, contacted police to say a white Volkswagen Jetta had just crashed into a stone retaining wall, then fled the scene, Sgt. John-Paul Beebe said.

Officer Joseph Pensado found the vehicle, and stopped it on West Shore Trail, Beebee said. Inside, he found a surprise — the driver, 36-year-old Catherine Giaquinto of Warwick, N.Y., was wearing only an unzipped jacket, Beebe said.

Pensado asked Giaquinto why she was driving in the nude, and "Giaquinto denied being completely naked," Beebe said. [...]

Pensado suspected Giaquinto was under the influence of alcohol — her speech was badly slurred and mostly unintelligible, she couldn't remember if she'd been involved in an accident and she didn't know where she was going, Beebe said.

Pensado saw a dress and other clothing in the rear passenger seat, retrieved the items and told Giaquinto to get dressed, Beebe said. It took about 10 minutes for her to do so, and when she finally did, she put her dress on inside-out, he said.


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January 21, 2013

Nice work if you can get it (8)

Verizon finds US developer outsourced his job to China so he could surf Reddit and watch cat videos

No, this is not the Onion, it's not April Fools, and I'm not making this up. All of this comes straight from Verizon, or more specifically, a case study from 2012 outlined by its security team.

The story goes a little something like this. A developer at a US-based critical infrastructure company, referred to as "Bob," was caught last year outsourcing his work to China, paying someone else less than one fifth of his six-figure salary to do his job. As a result, Bob had a lot of time on his hands; in fact, during the investigation, his browsing history revealed this was his typical work day:

9:00 a.m. – Arrive and surf Reddit for a couple of hours. Watch cat videos.
11:30 a.m. – Take lunch.
1:00 p.m. – Ebay time.
2:00 – ish p.m Facebook updates – LinkedIn.
4:30 p.m. – End of day update e-mail to management.
5:00 p.m. – Go home.

[...] At the unnamed company, he apparently received excellent performance reviews for the last several years in a row, even being hailed the best developer in the building: his code was clean, well-written, and submitted in a timely fashion.

H.T. Jeff G

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January 16, 2013

Facebook fantasy fail

They look like a cute couple.

Couple sharing same name have split

The couple who met, fell in love and married over a shared name, have now filed for divorce. Kelly Hildebrandt and Kelly Hildebrandt have gone their separate ways.

The pair with matching names made news when they tied the knot in 2009. But the couple came to realize that sharing a name wasn't enough to keep them together. "She's a Florida girl, and I'm a Texas guy," Kelly Carl told Miami news station NBC 6. "We really did come from pretty different worlds."

The romance started in the same world: Facebook. One night in 2008, Kelly Katrina was curious and bored. Wondering if anyone on the website shared her name, she typed it into the search engine on the social networking site and up popped Kelly Carl.

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January 15, 2013

Just use Photoshop

'Stand closer to the rhino' results in grave wound

JOHANNESBURG (AP) -- When do you not listen to the African wildlife expert? When he tells you to stand closer to the rhino. [...]

The Beeld newspaper reported Tuesday that Chantal Beyer said the game park owner snapped pictures and suggested that she "stand just a little bit closer" seconds before the attack. [...]

The paper said that just after the photo was snapped, the rhino attacked, and its horn penetrated Beyers' chest from behind, resulting in a collapsed lung and broken ribs, the paper said.

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January 14, 2013

Catchy name

Ely bakery finds success with Crapola granola

A party joke has grown into a serious venture -- or as serious as you can be, when you've named your signature product Crapola granola -- for Brian and Andrea Strom, the husband-and-wife team behind Brainstorm Bakery in Ely, Minn.

The Stroms had never owned a business or given it much thought before Brian's late-night wisecrack about making cranberry-apple granola and calling it Crapola. [...]

Initial sales at a local farmers market and arts festival were encouraging, and an on-air mention by Jay Leno just a few months after the product launched in 2007 generated wider interest. Flush with that early success, Crapola now is in more than 100 retail locations in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, South Dakota, California and Oregon.

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January 10, 2013

People of Walmart

Woman Rams Pedestrian With Her Car In Altercation Over Parking Space

What started as a kind gesture for a pregnant friend ended with a road-rage altercation in a Walmart parking lot.

A Georgia teenager wanted to save a parking space for a pregnant friend, so she wouldn't need to walk too far to the store. But before her friend arrived, a woman driving an SUV arrived and wanted the spot.

A dispute ensued, and it ended when the woman rammed the teenager out of the spot with her car, according to police.

"She told her to move and then she pulled into the parking spot and hit her with the tire of the vehicle," Bartow County Sheriff's Office investigator Jonathan White told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "They did see scuff marks on the victim's knee, which was consistent with the height of the tire during that incident."

Deputies arrested Angela Cornett, a member of the Bartow County school board.

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January 09, 2013

Roger the 'sounds preposterous'

AIG, saved by US bailout, now considers suing US government

The directors of insurance giant AIG plan to meet Wednesday to consider joining a lawsuit against the US government, arguing that federal officials imposed unfair terms on the company while rescuing it from collapse during the financial crisis.

On its face, the idea sounds preposterous.

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January 08, 2013

WoW

Man hires 'assassin' to kill son's WoW avatar

Even paranoiacs have enemies - and if you find that strangers keep attacking you in online games, there just may be a reason.

According to reports, a man in China became so exasperated by the amount of time that his unemployed son was spending playing World of Warcraft that he decided to do something about it. It seems that the lad had quit a software development job after just three months, and was doing nothing to find another one.

Showing, perhaps, a rather limited understanding of how these things work, Mr Feng hoped that killing the 23-year-old's character off repeatedly would put him off playing altogether - and hired virtual assassins to do just that.

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January 04, 2013

Oops (23)

'Paid plaintiff' - nice work if you can get, I suppose.

Animal rights group settles lawsuit with Ringling

WASHINGTON—An animal rights group will pay Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus $9.3 million to settle a lawsuit the circus filed after courts found that activists paid a former circus worker for his help in claiming the circus abused elephants.

The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said Friday it was not admitting any wrongdoing in settling the lawsuit. The New York-based animal rights group was one of several involved in a lawsuit filed in 2000 against the circus' owner, Feld Entertainment Inc., claiming elephants were abused. Courts later found that the animal rights activists had paid a former Ringling barn helper involved in the lawsuit at least $190,000, making him "essentially a paid plaintiff" who lacked credibility.

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January 02, 2013

Splish splash (3)

Nearly a dozen people rescued from icy CA lake

WRIGHTWOOD, Calif. - December 29, 2012 (WPVI) -- A scary slip on thin ice led to chain reaction panic in California, with close to a dozen people falling through the ice.

The desperate cries for help began when one man on a sledding excursion in California fell through the ice.

Others frantically tried to rescue him, but one-by-one they plunged into the icy water themselves.

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December 31, 2012

Fork taken

Here's one of Miss Cellania's Top 20 Weird News Stories of 2012

The Fork in the Road is Taken

The headlines just write themselves.

A six-foot-tall fork appeared in Carlsbad, California, in the traffic island at the intersection of Levante Street and Anillo Way on Tuesday [October 16]. The unnamed artist is a 62-year-old retired teacher who said he was impressed by the joke in The Muppet Movie in which the characters encounter a giant silverware fork when they are looking for a fork in the road. Carlsbad residents got a kick out of the sculpture, but a city crew removed it on Wednesday. Another resident erected a sign in its place that says "Why the fork not?" which the city also removed. Then residents then began taping real, normal-sized forks to a nearby sign. A spokesperson for the city said the sculpture is a code violation

fork-in-road.jpg

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December 28, 2012

What's that smell? (2)

Formal Reprimand Issued To Flatulent Federal Worker

DECEMBER 21--A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded "releasing the awful and unpleasant odor" in his Baltimore office.

In a December 10 letter accusing him of "conduct unbecoming a federal officer," the Social Security Administration employee was informed that his "uncontrollable flatulence" had created an "intolerable" and "hostile" environment for coworkers, several of whom have lodged complaints with supervisors.

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December 25, 2012

Any dose would be an overdose IMO

Brussels sprouts 'overdose' hospitalised man at Christmas, report reveals

A man from Ayrshire had to be hospitalised after eating too many Brussels sprouts last Christmas, it has emerged.

The traditional Christmas vegetable contain lots of vitamin K which promotes blood clotting.

However, this counteracted the effect of anticoagulants the man was taking because he had a mechanical heart. [...]

The case was reported in a festive edition of the Medical Journal of Australia.

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December 24, 2012

Ho F'ing Ho

Judge Rules Louisiana Woman Can Design Christmas Lights To Flip Off Neighbors

A district court judge rule this week that a Louisiana woman could hang her Christmas lights in the shape of a middle finger, as a nasty holiday "greeting" to her neighbors. Police initially threatened to arrest Sarah Childs for her illuminated display, but with the help of the ACLU, Child won her suit against the city.

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December 21, 2012

Good Lord!

Nathan Grindal Kicked Out Of Darts Tournament For Looking Like Jesus

Looking like Jesus turned out to be a cross to bear for Nathan Grindal, whose resemblance to the King of Kings caused him to be kicked out of a darts tournament in Somerset, Great Britain.

Grindal, 33, who has long hair and a full beard he started growing four months ago, was sitting in the crowd at the tournament when some nearby spectators began to chant, "Jesus! Jesus!" during the final match between Phil Taylor and Kim Huybrechts, ABC News reported.

Others joined in the chant, until most of the 4,500 people in the arena were chanting the Almighty's name.

It got so raucous that security staff decided to remove Grindal, fearing his presence was upsetting the concentration of the players, as well as hurting the enjoyment of the viewers at home, ThisIsSomerset.co.uk reported.

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December 19, 2012

Meet Mr. HeadsetsDotCom

Florida Man Auctions Off His Last Name For $45,000

Jacksonville, FL – Jason Sadler has come up with a rather clever way to make some extra cash. The Florida man offered to legally change his last name for all of 2013 to the name of the company that offers him the most money. Sadler's last name auction ended earlier this week. HeadsetsDotCom reportedly paid $45,500 as the last name auction winner.

Beginning on January 1, Jason Sadler will officially be known as Jason HeadsetsDotCom for an entire year.

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December 18, 2012

You'll sleep when you're dead? Think again...

Woman charged for sex with human skeleton

A woman in western Sweden who was arrested after police found skeletons in her apartment has now been charged for using the bones as sex toys, a hobby she claimed was motivated by an interest in history.

"I have never heard of a case like this and neither have my colleagues, so I dare to say that this kind of case is quite uncommon," prosecutor Kristina Ehrenborg-Staffas told The Local.

A 37-year-old woman, who was arrested in September, was formally charged on Tuesday at the Gothenburg District Court for the crime of "violating the peace of the dead" (brott mot griftesfriden).

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December 17, 2012

Where were Larry and Moe?

Man ironed face when phone rang

A Polish man is regretting trying to impress his wife by doing the housework - after ironing his face when the phone rang.

Tomas Paczkowski, 32, from Elbag, was determined to show wife Lila that he was just as good around the home as she is.

"I decided to do the ironing while she was out at work, just to prove a point," he explained. [...]

"Trouble was, I got so involved in the boxing that I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing."

"So when the phone rang I picked up the iron by mistake and pressed it to my ear. The pain was incredible."

And Mr Paczkowski added insult to injury when he sprinted to put cold water on the burn - and ran straight into the bathroom door.

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December 13, 2012

Incoming!

That's a pretty powerful gas cannon that can shoot a 2.5 pound can over 500 feet.

Border Patrol: Smugglers Use Cannon To Launch Cans Of Marijuana Into US

YUMA, Ariz. (AP) — U.S. Border Patrol agents say smugglers have come up with yet another creative way to get drugs in the country — a cannon.

Authorities say 33 cans of marijuana were spotted Friday in a field near where the Colorado River crosses the U.S.-Mexico border. They believe the cans were launched about 500 feet into the U.S. using a pneumatic-powered cannon.

After searching the area, agents recovered a carbon dioxide tank.

Mexican authorities were also notified and searched their side of the border.

The 85 pounds of marijuana found in the cans had an estimated value of $42,500.

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December 11, 2012

What's that smell?

Eau de Pizza Hut

All true celebrities deserve their own perfume and Pizza Hut is no different!

What began as a fun Facebook post - with Pizza Hut asking fans just how much they loved the smell of a box of Pizza Hut pizza being opened - has materialized into Pizza Hut becoming the latest celebrity to launch its own perfume.

Introducing Pizza Hut Perfume - a brand new fragrance from Pizza Hut Canada boasting top notes of freshly baked, hand-tossed dough.

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December 10, 2012

Oops (22)

18th-century French chateau bulldozed 'by mistake'

PARIS – Residents of a sleepy French village in Bordeaux have been left dumbfounded after discovering their local 18th-century chateau was completely bulldozed "by mistake."

The mayor's office in Yvrac said Wednesday that workers who were hired to renovate the grand 140,000-square-foot manor and raze a small building on the same estate in southwest France mixed them up.

"The Chateau de Bellevue was Yvrac's pride and joy," said former owner Juliette Marmie. "The whole village is in shock. How can this construction firm make such a mistake?"

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December 07, 2012

Stuck in the middle with you (2)

Great pic of this at the link.

Cry free-dumb! Jailbreak thwarted when overweight prisoner gets stuck in wall during attempted escape

An overweight inmate's attempts to escape jail ended in humiliation - when he got stuck in a hole he helped smash in his cell wall.

Firefighters had to free 16-stone (224 pounds - JdJ) Rafael Valadao when his belly stopped him making his break for freedom.

Prison guards compounded his embarrassment by standing round laughing as the operation to release him swung into action.

Authorities were last night hunting for a thinner cell-mate who managed to escape first.

Two other inmates waiting behind Rafael also saw their hopes of freedom thwarted by the unexpected hitch in their escape bid.

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December 06, 2012

Blind drunk. Literally!

Whisky saves man's eyesight after being blinded by vodka

Alcohol doesn't tend to make you see more clearly, but in Denis Duthie's case a bottle of whisky literally saved his sight.

The 65-year-old Taranaki man suddenly went blind when vodka he had been drinking reacted with his diabetes medication. He regained his sight only after hospital staff administered expensive whisky.

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December 05, 2012

This one shouldn't take the jury long

Robbery suspect brags on YouTube

Authorities say a woman accused of robbing a bank in eastern Nebraska posted a video on YouTube bragging about the robbery.

York County Sheriff Dale Radcliff said a copy of the video will be turned in as evidence against Hannah Sabata of Stromsburg. The 19-year-old was arrested on Wednesday in connection with a robbery the day before at the Cornerstone Bank branch in Waco. She faces robbery and theft charges.

The video was posted the same day Sabata was arrested. It shows a woman holding handwritten signs that say she robbed a bank and stole a car. The woman then holds a large bundle of cash, what she says is $6,256, in front of the camera. She also holds up what appears to be a bag of marijuana.

The video caption says, "I just stole a car and robbed a bank. Now I'm rich, I can pay off my college financial aid, and tomorrow I'm going for a shopping spree."

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December 03, 2012

Mustache implants

Mideast men go under knife for manly mustaches

(CNN) -- Thick, handsome mustaches have long been prized by men throughout the Middle East as symbols of masculine virility, wisdom and maturity.

But not all mustaches are created equal, and in recent years, increasing numbers of Middle Eastern men have been going under the knife to attain the perfect specimen.

Turkish plastic surgeon Selahattin Tulunay says the number of mustache implants he performs has boomed in the last few years. He now performs 50-60 of the procedures a month, on patients who hail mostly from the Middle East and travel to Turkey as medical tourists.

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November 29, 2012

#babynames

4 internet-inspired baby names

1. The American girl named Hashtag
Last Saturday, a couple gave birth to a baby girl whom, in an homage to Twitter, they reportedly named Hashtag. "Hashtag will likely grow up to be a happy, healthy, beautiful adult woman, but we can't help but think she's going to face a great deal of scrutiny and teasing on the grade-school playgrounds," says Chase Hoffberger at The Daily Dot. Do you think they'll call her Tag for short?

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November 28, 2012

What the... ? (2)

Argentine court convicts UNC-CH physics professor of drug smuggling

CHAPEL HILL - The 68-year-old UNC-Chapel Hill physics professor arrested in Argentina early this year after being caught with more than 4 pounds of cocaine hidden in a suitcase has been convicted by an Argentine court.

Paul Frampton, the Oxford-educated Louis D. Rubin Jr. Distinguished Professor of Physics and Astronomy, told investigators he was duped into unknowingly carrying the drugs after being lured first to Bolivia with a promise of meeting a famous bikini model.

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November 26, 2012

Crafty cats

Crafting with Cat Hair: Cute Handicrafts to Make with Your Cat [Illustrated] [Paperback]

Are your favorite sweaters covered with cat hair? Are there fur balls piled up in every corner of your home? And do you love to make quirky and one-of-a-kind crafting projects? If so, it's time to throw away your lint roller and curl up with your kitty! "Crafting with Cat Hair" shows readers how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts. From kitty tote bags and finger puppets to fluffy cat toys, picture frames, and more, these projects are cat-friendly, eco-friendly, and require no special equipment or training. You can make most of these projects in under an hour-with a little help, of course, from your feline friends!

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November 20, 2012

He's got legs, he knows how to use them

Check out the photos at the link

72-Year-Old Grandpa Finds Internet Fame after Modelling Teen Girl Outfits

Photos of a 72-year-old Chinese man modelling stylish clothes for young women have recently went viral online, after his granddaughter posted them on China's largest retail website. What started out as a silly joke turned into a massive advertising campaign for her store.

[...] Liu Xianping, a grandfather from China, is the first elderly male model who reached Internet stardom for modelling girls’ clothes. Liu, 72, has been posing for his granddaughter’s female fashion store on Tmall and although the garments are designed for sweet and cute teen girls, featuring rosy shades, laces and ribbons, he totally pulled it off. His confidence in front of the camera, his slim physique and pair of long skinny legs have apparently gained the admiration of millions and made some girls green with envy. And most importantly, his granddaughter’s store sales have increased 5 times since his pictures went viral.

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November 19, 2012

His chequered past

And he's got the 'stache to prove it. (See photo at link.)

District attorney admits to being 1970′s porn star

A district attorney in central New York on Friday admitted to appearing in a number of pornographic films and apologized for lying to the media, according to The Post Standard.

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November 15, 2012

You are what you eat (2)

Deodorant Candy Makes People Smell Rosy

Most people probably don't start the day thinking, "Man, life would be so much easier if I could just eat this deodorant instead of wearing it." But there's good news for those people—on the off chance that those people are out there somewhere—because a new candy has come out that promises to make anyone who eats it excrete a floral scent for the next six hours.

There are a lot of foods that can change the way a person smells—garlic and asparagus come to mind—but that effect may finally have been harnessed for good instead of evil. According to Refinery29, Deo Perfume Candy contains rose oil and geraniol, an antioxidant that smells like roses and has been theorized to both fight cancer and repel mosquitos.[...]

The candy is flavored like roses, and when consumed "leaves your skin with a beautiful rose fragrance," according to the company. "Studies showed that when ingested, rose oil exudes aromatic compounds, such as geraniol, through the skin. When evaporating through the skin, geraniol aromatizes it with a beautiful rose fragrance."

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November 14, 2012

Holy Smoke

At Life's End, A Final Home On The (Shooting) Range

Many people keep cremated remains in an urn on the mantle or scatter their loved one's ashes over a sacred place.

Now, a company has pioneered a new twist: putting cremated remains into ammunition.

For $850, Holy Smoke will take cremated remains and put them into various types of shotgun shells and bullets for rifle and pistol shooters. The Stockton, Ala., company was started a year ago by two state game wardens.

Literally and figuratively, Holy Smoke's business is "booming." Clem Parnell, a co-founder, thought the families of the dead should have a livelier method to honor those who enjoyed the outdoors.

"Wouldn't it be cool to put some ash in a shell, to the point of a 250-round case of shells, and all his friends could go out and have a day on the range and celebrate the way this guy used to be?" Parnell says. "The way he was when he was alive — vibrant and enjoying life."

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November 12, 2012

Who says there ain't no justice?

Video at the link which shows her getting stopped by police.

U.S. woman ordered to wear 'idiot' sign after driving on sidewalk to avoid stopping for school bus

CLEVELAND — A woman caught on camera driving on a sidewalk to avoid a Cleveland school bus that was unloading children will have to stand at an intersection wearing a sign warning about idiots.

Court records show a Cleveland Municipal Court judge on Monday ordered 32-year-old Shena Hardin to stand at an intersection for two days next week. She will have to wear a sign saying: "Only an idiot drives on the sidewalk to avoid a school bus."

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November 09, 2012

Markets in everything (17)

Actually, it sounds like people are offering to trade gas for sex. Who knows whether anyone's taking them up on the trade.

Sandy Gas Woes Continue: People Trading Gas For Sex On Craigslist

NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) - How far would go to get gas?

Long gas stationlines and empty gas pumps have plagued drivers across New York and New Jersey since Superstorm Sandy slammed into the East Coast last Monday, leaving a gas shortage across the region.

Stories of price gouging and fights at gas stations have also been commonplace. But now it seems people — men in particular — are finding new ways to take advantage of gas-seeking Tri-State residents: Sex.

Men have been taking to the personals on Craigslist, trading gasoline for sex. Some of the ads on NewYork.Craigslist.org read as follows:

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November 08, 2012

Celebrity news

Justin Bieber Gay Sex Doll 'Just-In Beaver' Leaves Teenage Hearthrob 'Incensed'

A gay sex doll apparently modelled on teen popstar Justin Bieber has hit the market for the just £20.

Ingeniously named 'Just-In Beaver', the anatomically-correct doll proclaims itself "the barely legal boy-toy" and boasts that it offers "multiple entry". [...]

Apparently the 18-year-old Baby singer is less than flattered with the likeness though, and has instructed his legal team to get on the case.

A source told The Sun: "Justin is absolutely incensed with this monstrosity.

"He's already set his lawyer on these sickos."

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November 06, 2012

Careful around the Secret Service

Des Moines store near Obama rally has a message for the Secret Service

DES MOINES, Iowa—President Barack Obama is planning an outdoor rally here on Monday, but one store within the event's security zone is taking a stand against Secret Service searches inside the shop.

A sign on the window of Raygun, a clothing store that sells quirky T-shirts, tells Secret Service agents who intend to "sweep" the premises before Obama's speech that it does "not consent" to any searches. The sign also added a little humor, too: "It's not that there's anything illegal in here, we just employ several Colombian prostitutes and don't want to tempt you guys," the sign reads [...]

A store clerk told Yahoo News that the sign went up Monday morning, and Obama staffers have asked for its removal. The store is refusing.

Image of the sign here.

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November 03, 2012

News from the North

Sweden pays jobless youth to move to Norway

Under a scheme organised by the local authorities in the town of Soderhamn and by Sweden's national employment office, anyone aged between 18 and 28 can volunteer to take a "Job Journey" to Oslo and attempt track down gainful employment.

Those who sign up get a ticket to the Norwegian capital and are put up in an Oslo youth hostel for a month, with Soderhamn council picking up the £20 a night bill. The package also includes on-the-spot guidance on how to get a job in Sweden's northern neighbour.


Sweden Wants Your Trash

Move over Abba, Sweden has found new fame. The small Nordic country is breaking records — in waste. Sweden's program of generating energy from garbage is wildly successful, but recently its success has also generated a surprising issue: There is simply not enough trash.

Only 4 percent of Swedish garbage ends up in a landfill, according to Swedish Waste Management. Due to its efficiency in converting waste to renewable energy, Sweden has recently begun importing around 800,000 tons of trash annually from other countries.

Norway is now paying Sweden to take its garbage. Swedish sights are also set on Bulgaria, Romania and Italy as future trash exporters, as Catarina Ostlund, a senior advisor for the country's environmental protection agency, told PRI

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October 22, 2012

Bodyform Responds :: The Truth

Bodyform says sorry for 'lying' to men

A Bodyform video responding to a complaint by a disgruntled boyfriend, that he had been "lied to" by the company's ads, has gone viral on YouTube.

Richard Neill posted a 'complaint' on Bodyform's Facebook page to register his upset at the feminine hygiene company's 'lies' about a woman's time of the month.

"As a child I watched your advertisements with interest as to how at this wonderful time of the month that the female gets to enjoy so many things, I felt a little jealous," he said.

Here's the guy's Facebook post.

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October 16, 2012

His master's voice (2)

Man thinks house is being robbed when dog calls cell phone

OREM — Mystery solved: It was the dog, with the phone, in the garden.

Just before 9 a.m. Wednesday, Bruce Gardner, of Orem, called police saying his house was being broken into. He said nobody was home, but he had just received a phone call on his cell phone from his house phone, and he could hear banging and scratching in the phone.

Officers went to Gardner's home, and entered. They investigated, but did not see any evidence of forced entry and nothing appeared out of place. Police couldn't locate the phone, but left after they concluded nothing had been taken.

Several hours after police left, Gardner called back saying he had an explanation for what had happened.

"Apparently his dog had gotten a hold of his cordless home phone and in the midst of chewing on it, it happened to hit 'redial,' called the man's cell phone," said Orem Police Department Sgt. Craig Martinez.

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October 12, 2012

What's wrong with this picture?

Police: Man tries to rob bank of $1 in prison bid

NORTHERN CAMBRIA, Pa. - A man tried to rob a bank of $1 because he hoped to be sent to a federal prison nearby, police said.

Jeffrey McMullen, a 50-year-old regular customer of an AmeriServ bank in the western Pennsylvania town of Northern Cambria, handed notes to two tellers Friday demanding a dollar, according to a police complaint reported by The Tribune-Democrat of Johnstown.

The tellers thought it was a joke, police said. [...]

Police say McMullen apparently wanted to be prosecuted federally so he could be taken to a prison in central Pennsylvania. Police could not immediately say why.

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October 10, 2012

Yet another reason to avoid Facebook

fb-hug-jacket.jpg Why like someone on Facebook when you can hug them

Designers have come up with a jacket that actively gives you a cuddle when someone says they like you on the social network site.

The "Like-A-Hug" jacket inflates when someone clicks on the "Like" button putting a little more reality into virtual reality.

Designed by MIT student Melissa Chow, who said it "allows us to feel the warmth, encouragement, support, or love that we feel when we receive hugs".

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October 08, 2012

Busted! (8)

City Attorney Drops Joint in Court, Gets Arrested, Angers Wife

Of all the places to unintentionally drop an illegal drug, inside of a courtroom right in front of a police officer has to be among the worst.

Which is exactly what happened to New Orleans assistant city attorney Jason Cantrell. The prosecutor found himself on the other side of the law when a marijuana cigarette fell out of his pocket and onto the floor during a discussion he was having with two NOPD officers inside of the Orleans Parish Magistrate. [...]

He's also caused quite a problem for his wife, who is currently running for New Orleans City Council. LaToya Cantrell is staying in the race, but she was forced to distance herself from her hubby's goofy crime.

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September 03, 2012

Labor Day

And a lot more like that at the link...

A LABOR DAY LAMENT: NOTHING WORKS FOR ME

My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I just couldn't concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned. Next, I became a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax. I was employed at a diet center, but I got downsized. I became a baker, but I turned out to be a loafer and couldn't make enough dough. Then I opened a doughnut shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business.

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September 01, 2012

Lemme at 'em

Police: Drunken man picks fights downtown, at jail and hospital

A reportedly drunken man who police said was randomly picking fights and hitting people in downtown Gainesville was arrested early Thursday morning and then caused a ruckus at the jail and at a hospital, according to an arrest report.

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August 28, 2012

Turn it down

SA couple face $4000 fine for loud sex

AN Adelaide couple face being fined $4000 for having sex a little too loudly.

The passionate approach to love by Jessica Angel and Colin MacKenzie has upset their neighbours.

Now they face a hefty fine for breaching the Environmental Protection Act of 1993, News Ltd reports.

Under South Australian law, noise is classified as a form of pollution and that includes vibration.

The couple from the Adelaide suburb of Black Forest are reportedly the first in South Australia to be charged with breaching those environmental laws.

Police patrols have visited the couple's unit 20 times since April, News Ltd said.

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August 24, 2012

Who hates passwords?

We should follow XKCD's suggestion.

Many Americans would rather scrub toilet than create new password

Are you tired of trying to remember all your online passwords?

You're not alone, according to a new survey, which found 38 percent of online Americans would rather clean a toilet or do other household chores than have to create another username and password.

Another 38 percent said they think it would be easier to solve world peace than try to remember all their passwords.

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August 23, 2012

Pimp your ride (3)

Israeli biblical park outfits donkeys with wi-fi

HOSHAYA, Israel: It was nothing like this 3000 years ago.

An Israeli attraction meant to immerse tourists in an authentic, ancient biblical experience has outfitted its donkeys with wi-fi.

At the historical park of Kfar Kedem in northern Israel, visitors decked out in biblical robes and headdresses ride donkeys through the rolling hills of the Galilee, learning how people lived in Old Testament times.
American tourist Ella uses an iPad while riding a wi-fi-outfitted donkey lead by her brother Aaron, in Kfar Kedem, a biblical reenactment park in the village of Hoshaya in the Galilee, northern Israel.

Now they can also surf the web while touring the land of the Bible on one of the oldest forms of transportation. A device slung around the donkey's neck like a feedbag is actually a wi-fi hotspot.

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August 22, 2012

Morning sickness cure

Study: Oral Sex Cures Morning Sickness

ALBANY, N.Y. (CBSDC) – Pregnant women have used natural remedies such as a teaspoon of ginger or a mint to help battle morning sickness. But now, one medical professional believes you can add oral sex to that list.

According to Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at SUNY-Albany, the best way to cure morning sickness during pregnancy is sperm.

But not just any sperm, it should be the sperm of the person who got you pregnant. [...]

Gallup says the best cure for morning sickness is to ingest the father's semen so her body can build up a tolerance to what's already in her body.

H.T. Jeff G & Paul B

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August 21, 2012

Mark you calendars

Mark Your Calendars: August 26 Is National Go Topless Day

I suspect National Go Topless Day on August 26 will be celebrated the usual way people celebrate things like National Go Topless Day, which is that the only people who will go topless will be those you would rather keep their shirts on. But if you live in Washington, DC., Seattle, Miami, Columbus, Asheville, Honolulu, Chicago, or other cities hosting an event, it's time to keep a bottle of bleach handy for your eyes because there's a National Go Topless Day rally coming to your city. (The official website helpfully shows you locations via a BoobMap with icons of boobies serving as pins. Seriously.)"

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August 20, 2012

Smile when you say nothing

Parkinson's man arrested at cycling 'for not smiling'

A PARKINSON'S sufferer who was arrested during the Olympic cycle races in Surrey has questioned why he was dragged to the ground for "not smiling".

Mark Worsfold, 54, was sat on a wall in Leatherhead as the riders approached at around 3pm on Saturday, July 28 - but officers decided his manner was a cause for concern, and he was hauled off to Reigate police station.

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August 17, 2012

Burden of Goof

I sue! It's 'burden of goof' in city's most ludicrous, lawyerless cases

About a fifth of all cases clogging up the city's civil federal courthouses each year are filed by people with fools for clients — themselves.

"We have a lot of frivolous cases," veteran Judge Frederic Block said of self-filed lawsuits. "On the other hand, all the judges feel that you have to just grin and bear it . . . they do deserve their day in court." [...]

Some of those cases were downright weird.

There's the Brooklyn widow who believes she's been targeted by a demonic cult and has filed nearly 100 lawsuits over the years; the Queens man who says the government has been poisoning his food; and the Manhattan man who recently claimed to be author Herman Melville's nephew — and therefore entitled to all royalties from "Moby-Dick."


H.T. Jeff G.

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August 16, 2012

They're NASA and they know it

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Biter bit (4)

Hungary Far-Right Leader Discovers Jewish Roots

BUDAPEST, Hungary (AP) — As a rising star in Hungary's far-right Jobbik Party, Csanad Szegedi was notorious for his incendiary comments on Jews: He accused them of "buying up" the country, railed about the "Jewishness" of the political elite and claimed Jews were desecrating national symbols.

Then came a revelation that knocked him off his perch as ultra-nationalist standard-bearer: Szegedi himself is a Jew.

Following weeks of Internet rumors, Szegedi acknowledged in June that his grandparents on his mother's side were Jews — making him one too under Jewish law, even though he doesn't practice the faith. His grandmother was an Auschwitz survivor and his grandfather a veteran of forced labor camps.

Since then, the 30-year-old has become a pariah in Jobbik and his political career is on the brink of collapse. He declined to be interviewed for this story.

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August 14, 2012

What a keepsake

It sounds worse than bronzed baby shoes.

Japanese company will 3D print your fetus for $1,275

New parents have a strong urge to collect everything they can from their child's early life — from photos and videos to hair and fingernails. Catering to this demand to immortalize infancy is a new product from Japanese firm Fasotec and Hiroo Ladies Clinic — a 3D printed model of your little bundle of joy in utero.

Called Tenshi no Katachi or "Shape of an Angel," the product is based on a digital model of the mother's torso built from CT or MRI scans, reports DigInfo TV.

Via Carpe Diem

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August 09, 2012

Sign of confusion

Metaphor Is Not a Crime

An Occupy Easton protester faces an attempted bank robbery charge following an arrest at an organized event at a bank – during which the "Occupier" was holding a sign that reportedly read "You're being robbed."

According to The Express-Times, Dave Gorczynski allegedly held cardboard signs outside a Wells Fargo Branch that read, "You're being robbed," while the other said, "Give a man a gun, he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he can rob a country."

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August 08, 2012

They probably needed money for fuel

Thieves bulldoze cash machine from wall...then find getaway car won't start

Two hapless thieves were forced to flee empty handed after using a stolen digger to rip a cash machine from a bank only to find their getaway vehicle would not start.

The pair had loaded the ATM onto the back of a pick-up truck but had to leave their spoils after the engine would not start.

The men were last seen by witnesses running off into the night abandoning their truck and their loot.

The attempted burglary happened at 3.10am on Monday at the branch of Barclays Bank on Keymer Road in Hassocks, Sussex.

Homes in the area had to be evacuated during the night as the building was deemed unsafe.

Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

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August 07, 2012

A safe bet

A game with a windfall for a knowing few

[...] the Selbees, who run a gambling company called GS Investment Strategies, know a secret about the Massachusetts State Lottery: For a few days about every three months, Cash WinFall may be the most reliably lucrative lottery game in the country. Because of a quirk in the rules, when the jackpot reaches roughly $2 million and no one wins, payoffs for smaller prizes swell dramatically, which statisticians say practically assures a profit to anyone who buys at least $100,000 worth of tickets.

During these brief periods - "rolldown weeks'' in gambling parlance - a tiny group of savvy bettors, among them highly trained computer scientists from MIT and Northeastern University, virtually take over the game. Just three groups, including the Selbees, claimed 1,105 of the 1,605 winning Cash WinFall tickets statewide after the rolldown week in May, according to lottery records. They also appear to have purchased about half the tickets, based on reports from the stores that the top gamblers frequent most.

"Cash WinFall isn't being played as a game of chance. Some smart people have figured out how to get rich while everyone else funds their winnings,'' said Mohan Srivastava, an MIT-educated statistician who gained fame in gambling circles when he found a flaw in a Canadian scratch ticket game that allowed him to pick the winners more than 90 percent of the time.

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August 03, 2012

Expand your vocabulary

From MentalFloss

15 Wonderful Words With No English Equivalent

The Global Language Monitor estimates that there are currently 1,009,753 words in the English language. Despite this large lexicon, many nuances of human experience still leave us tongue-tied. And that's why sometimes it's necessary to turn to other languages to find le mot juste. Here are fifteen foreign words with no direct English equivalent.

1. Zhaghzhagh (Persian)
The chattering of teeth from the cold or from rage.

2. Yuputka (Ulwa)
A word made for walking in the woods at night, it's the phantom sensation of something crawling on your skin.

3. Slampadato (Italian)
Addicted to the UV glow of tanning salons? This word describes you."

H.T. Carol J


Update:Danilo writes, "Fantastic! I can add a portuguese word 'saudade'. It's like when you miss someone or something. You feel saudade.

Like the poet would say, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzxVBXCP1jg"

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August 02, 2012

It's not rocket science

Not counting the rockets in their pockets, that is.

Missile Defense Staff Warned to Stop Surfing Porn Sites

The Pentagon's Missile Defense Agency warned its employees and contractors last week to stop using their government computers to surf the Internet for pornographic sites, according to the agency's executive director.

In a one-page memo, Executive Director John James Jr. wrote that in recent months government employees and contractors were detected "engaging in inappropriate use of the MDA network."

"Specifically, there have been instances of employees and contractors accessing websites, or transmitting messages, containing pornographic or sexually explicit images," James wrote in the July 27 memo obtained by Bloomberg News.

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July 31, 2012

What's worse than kidney thieves?

Fei Lin's Penis Stolen By Thieves

Thieves stole a man's penis while he slept, according to police.

Fei Lin, 41, of the Niqiao village near Wenling City, in east China's Zhejiang province, told police he was asleep when the thieves burst into his room and put a bag over his head, according to CEN/EUROPICS and as reported in the Daily Star.

"They put something over my head and pulled down my trousers and then they ran off," Lin said. "I was so shocked I didn't feel a thing - then I saw I was bleeding and my penis was gone."

Via The Agitator

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July 30, 2012

Are you the droid we're looking for?

From Craigslist, so the link will go stale soon.

Part time attorney needed (Pittsburgh west)
Date: 2012-07-16, 5:04PM EDT
Reply to: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@job.craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

We are a collection agency/debt buyer. What we are looking for is a part time attorney to work for us as our corporate counsel, on our payroll, about 5 to 6 hours a week. This is a short term employment arrangement, no longer than 90 to 120 days.

Your job will be to sign pleadings, praecipe for entry of appearances, praecipe for writ of execution, and garnishment orders. Our paralegal will prepare all paperwork for your signature. This is very standard stuff for us.

If you are an attorney looking for challenging legal work, this is not for you. WE DO NOT NEED F LEE BAILEY- we are fee shopping. If you passed your boards with a D+, and you can sign your name, you possess all the credentials required for this job. If this opportunity interests you, please feel free to reply to this email with a brief description of who you are, when you got your law license, and what you will be needing from us in the way of compensation.

Via CoyoteBlog

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July 26, 2012

Everybody's got his hand out

Park Service is requiring permits to hunt Bigfoot

If you're going to make a business out of taking naive people into national parks and extorting money from them to go hunt around for Bigfoot, then the U.S. National Park Service has this message for you: They want in. Sasquatch hunter Matt Pruitt learned this when he was leading 31 believers (who had paid between $300 and $500 apiece) through Steel Creek in Arkansas last month and ran into rangers who cited him for "engaging in a business without a permit or written agreement." Pruitt had to pay almost $600 for the permit, but apparently it's worth the expense. He's led Sasquatch-sighting-centered trips in 18 states and ranks Arkansas as being in the top three for potential to spot the wily beast.

H.T. Jeff G.

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July 25, 2012

Going green

New York area homeowners turning to "lawn painting"

(Reuters) - Despite the summer's persistent heat waves, the grass really is greener in some neighborhoods in New York and New Jersey.

Homeowners with brown, dried-up lawns are turning to "lawn painting" to liven up their yards.

Business is booming, according to Joe Perazzo, who launched his lawn painting company in New York's most suburban borough of Staten Island a few years ago, inspired by the tinting process used to color professional athletic fields. Other companies have sprung up in the region and elsewhere in the country.

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July 24, 2012

I wonder how much he saved

Software engineer claims generic version of Propecia turned him into a woman

This baldness cure was a bust.

For nine months, William McKee took the generic version of Propecia, the pills that promise to halt hair loss.

But the drug had radical side effects: Instead of becoming a better-looking man, he started becoming a woman, he claims.

"My rock-hard chest from the gym began to soften . . . reaching the point where I had noticeable 'breasts' even under my clothing," he says. [...]

McKee, who says he wasn't inclined to cross-dress before, began feeling like a woman. He is now only attracted to men.

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July 23, 2012

That must be some fine beer

Either that or most of the beer was already inside him. News from New Zealand

Chainsaw rampage charges after beer argument

A man wielding a chainsaw allegedly cut through a front door, then a pole causing a veranda to collapse before chopping a takeaway sign in half during a dispute over a box of beers.

Whangarei police Sergeant Stephanie Hudson said officers were called to a Hikurangi home about 6.50pm on Thursday.

It's believed a dispute broke out between the man and a woman over a box of Steinlager beer. The woman went out on to the veranda of the property and the man picked up a recently sharpened chainsaw.

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July 19, 2012

Some people are never satisfied

Cops: Woman Dialed 911 With Mug Shot Beef

JULY 19--A Georgia woman has been charged with misusing the 911 system after she called police dispatchers to register a complaint about the quality of a mug shot taken following a prior arrest.

Tonya Ann Fowler dialed police Sunday evening after spotting the photo in "Bad & Busted," a local publication that compiles images of recent arrestees. The photo that so displeased Fowler, 45, was snapped following an earlier collar

.

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July 18, 2012

If you've ever wondered, here's how that works

Video at the link

Woman Flips Over After Trying To Ride Motorized Scooter Up MBTA Escalator

BOSTON (CBS) – A woman on a motorized scooter fell down an escalator on the MBTA last week.

On Friday, the 56-year-old woman from South Boston was attempting to ride her scooter up an escalator at the Broadway MBTA Station, but flipped over a couple times and fell down.

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July 17, 2012

And all he needs is fresh fish

Talkeetna Mayor is a Cat Named Stubbs

TALKEETNA, Alaska — A cat named Stubbs has been the mayor of Talkeetna for nearly all of his life -- no joke.

It's been that way for more than a decade in the small tourist town that boasts nearly 900 residents.

The part-manx was named honorary mayor shortly after his birth, and now locals all know the cat as "Mayor Stubbs." [...]

As the story goes, 15 years ago several of the town residents didn't like the candidates who were running for mayor of Talkeetna, so as a joke, they encouraged enough people to elect Stubbs the cat as a write-in candidate, and he actually won.

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July 10, 2012

The Instant Heart Attack saved

'Heart attack' sandwich can stay on N.Y. menu

NEW YORK (AP) — New Yorkers can still order up an instant heart attack.

The Second Avenue Deli won a court fight with a Las Vegas-based burger joint Friday over the names of their gut-busting foods. The New York deli's sandwich called "instant heart attack" is made of sliced pastrami and fried potato latkes. It costs $24.95.

The Heart Attack Grill in Vegas had ordered the deli to stop serving the fare on trademark infringement grounds. [...]

The Second Avenue Deli is also allowed to sell another sandwich called the "triple bypass." Lebewohl says it includes "everything but the kitchen sink."

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July 09, 2012

Another use for LOLcats

Insurance claim over dead cat backfires on Tacoma man

A 29-year-old Tacoma man who filed a $20,000 insurance claim for the death of a cat he claimed to have loved "like a son" has been charged with insurance fraud and attempted theft.

According to the charges filed last week in Pierce County, Yevgeniy Samsonov's beloved cat never existed and photos he submitted to bolster his claim had been pulled from the Internet.

dead-lolcat.jpg

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July 06, 2012

Somebody's got to do it (2)

'Hen party'? Boy, I haven't heard that in a long while.

Hen party mistake police for strippers

AUSTRALIAN POLICE OFFICERS narrowly escaped a Darwin pub with their dignity intact after a rowdy hen party mistook them for strippers, reports The Australian newspaper.

The male officers attended the Humpty Doo Tavern in northern Australia after reports of a disturbance, only to be greeted by an amorous group of women who proceeded to try and take the officers' clothes off.

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July 05, 2012

Battered

Police: Arrest follows dispute over pancakes

A Muncie man was arrested this week on allegations he battered his sister after she criticized how much maple syrup he had placed on his pancakes.

Joseph Eugene Perry Jr., 47, was preliminarily charged with battery and strangulation. He remained in the Delaware County jail on Wednesday under a $7,500 bond.

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July 03, 2012

What the... ?

Lawsuits: Kim Kardashian A Terrorist, Had Sex On Tape While Unicorn Watched

WHEELING, W.Va. (CBSDC) – Two recent lawsuits filed against reality television star Kim Kardashian assert that the pop culture personality has terrorist sympathies, and that she recently made a sex tape in the presence of multiple animals – including a unicorn.

The two lawsuits were filed in the United States District Court in West Virginia on June 21 by Gino Romano of Brooklyn and "all others similarly situated," and on June 25 by Jonathan Kimberly of Philadelphia, CBS affiliate WTRF-TV reports.

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July 02, 2012

This'll stop you - no matter how sober you are

Michigan adds talking urinal cakes to DUI fight

Michigan is hoping to keep drunks off the road with the help from a special bathroom message.

The state says talking urinal-deodorizer cakes have been distributed to Michigan Licensed Beverage Association members in Wayne, Bay, Ottawa and Delta counties. A recorded message will play reminding men who step up to the urinals to call a cab or a friend, if needed, to get home safely.

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June 30, 2012

OK... maybe clowns are scary

Evil clown stalks kids as birthday treat

For a fee, actor Dominic Deville dresses up in a deathly clown mask and contacts his child "victims" in the Swiss city of Lucerne to tell them he is watching them.

His "evil clown" service unfolds further as he teases his targets with texts, phone calls and booby-trapped letters, warning them that at some point during their birthday party, he will throw a cake in their face, the Austrian Times reports.

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June 28, 2012

Jesus saves

Ethnic minority turn to Jesus as more 'affordable' option

At upwards of US$500, the cost of slaughtering a buffalo to revive a relative condemned to ill-health by the spirits has pushed the Jarai indigenous minority residents of Somkul village in Ratanakkiri to a more affordable religious option: Christianity.

In the village in O'Yadav district's Som Thom commune, about 80 per cent of the community have given up on spirits and ghosts in favour of Sunday sermons and modern medicine.

Sev Chel, 38, said she made the switch because when she used to get sick, it could cost her hundreds of dollars to appease the gods with a sacrificial package that might include a cow or buffalo, a chicken, bananas, incense and rice wine.

"So if I sold that buffalo and took the money to pay for medicine, it is about 30,000 riel to 40,000 riel [for them to] get better, so we are strong believers in Jesus," she said. "If I did not believe in Jesus, maybe at this time I would still be poor and not know anything besides my community."

Via Carpe Diem

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June 26, 2012

TGFB (12)

Burger King to introduce bacon sundae

Would you buy a bacon sundae? Burger King is betting you will.

The fast-food chain famous for the Whopper will introduce the limited-time dessert on Thursday as part of its new summer menu. The 510-calorie sundae—vanilla soft serve topped with fudge, caramel, bacon crumbles and a piece of bacon—has 18 grams of fat and 61 grams of sugar.

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June 22, 2012

Worse than a finger in yer eye

Follow the link to check out the radiographs (x-rays).

Teen miraculously survives spear through his brain, speaks throughout ordeal

(CBS News) Sixteen-year-old Yasser Lopez is currently recovering from a freak accident in which a spear longer than 3 feet discharged through his head. Amazingly the teen survived, and his doctors explained the unusual case to media at a press conference in Miami on Monday.

CBS Miami reports that Yasser's survival may be a result of the spear miraculously missing the major blood vessels in the teen's brain.

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June 21, 2012

A credit card for the masses

Karl Marx bank cards prove hit in eastern Germany

BERLIN | Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:53am EDT

(Reuters) - Two decades after the fall of the Berlin Wall, some eastern Germans are once again carrying round images of Karl Marx - if only in their pockets.

The disappearance of communist former East Germany has not deterred them from using credit cards emblazoned with the image of the man who foretold the end of capitalism and the triumph of communism.

More than a third of customers at Sparkasse bank in Chemnitz opted for the picture of a bronze bust of the bearded 19th century German-born philosopher, bank spokesman Roger Wirtz said.

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June 19, 2012

The non-labor union

Just how do you get 'U cubed' out of Union of Unemployed Activists?

Union aims to organize the unemployed

America's jobless are unionizing, or at least furthering an agenda of one of the nation's biggest unions.

An organization aimed at giving the unemployed more influence has announced it now has more than 100,000 jobless activists in their ranks.

The Union of Unemployed (UCubed) Activists is an Internet-centric "community service project" of the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers (IAM) — one of the country's largest industrial trade unions.

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June 18, 2012

Fuzzy wuzzy

Ms. M writes:

[Mr. M] is on a new project in Pittsburgh. He told me the city and his hotel (and others) started to fill up late in the week with people attending a convention this weekend called Anthrocon; which is basically a gathering of "furries," or people who like to dress up as furry animals – who like to LIVE like furry animals. Here’s a photo of some of them.

He said they were EVERYWHERE. They were on the streets, in the hotel elevator, unavoidable. And in full costume everywhere they go.

He then told me that the hotel staff told him that some of these crazy lunatics make a LITTER BOX in their hotel room and USE IT, and that furthermore they LEAVE IT for the hotel staff to clean up. They were NOT kidding

Antrhocon.jpg
Photo from Douglas Muth's Flickr collection

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June 15, 2012

Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time (2)

The photos at the link are pretty funny.

New French Ads Poke Fun at the British Olympian

A new French ad campaign for Eurostar, the high-speed train connecting Paris to London's Waterloo station, pokes fun at the latter city's Olympic aspirations. The posters, created by Paris ad agency Leg, depict two Grecian statues reminiscent of the iconic discus thrower—but instead of the discus, the statues are holding darts and a pool cue, respectively. And instead of a chiseled physique, they display protruding beer guts and doughy pectorals.

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June 14, 2012

Down, boy!

Swedish party wants sit-down urination

(UPI) -- Left Party members of a Swedish county council said they want to encourage men using the council's toilets to sit during urination.

The Left Party in Sormland said it wants the Sormland County Council to pass a motion requiring toilets reserved for stand-up urination to be labeled, Swedish news agency TT reported Monday.

The party said sit-down urination is more hygienic and reduces the risk of bathroom users having to negotiate their way around puddles en route to the toilet.

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June 13, 2012

Wine dress takes on a whole new meaning

Dress Made of Wine

We've heard red wine can benefit your health, but how about your closet? Researchers at The University of Western Australia have just discovered a way to make the beverage into clothing. The process is a lot easier than you'd think: the fabric actually creates itself without any weaving. Talk about futuristic fashion! [...]

The resulting material clings to the body and is entirely seamless. The duo then successfully created fermented fashion made of red wine, white wine, and beers like Guinness, which all retain their natural odor and color.

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June 12, 2012

Show head

2 Border Patrol Agents Accused Of Engaging In Sex Act During Cirque Du Soleil Show

SAN DIEGO (CBS) — An investigation is under way following allegations that two Border Patrol agents engaged in a sex act in public and attacked a woman who asked the pair to stop.

The incident occurred at a Cirque du Soleil show in Del Mar on May 27.

According to San Diego sheriff's investigators, the pair was identified as Border Patrol agents Kallie Helwig and Gerald Torello, Jr.

Witnesses allege Helwig performed oral sex on Torello as they watched the show in the audience.

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June 11, 2012

Meth-makers of Walmart

Woman Caught Making Meth In Her Purse At Walmart

MEHLVILLE (KMOX) - A woman was caught cooking meth in her purse using a 20-ounce soda bottle inside of the Walmart store on Telegraph Road at I-255.

The store was immediately evacuated, out of fear for customers' safety.

St. Louis County Police Lt. Mark Cox said if the meth concoction had spilled or leaked, it would have quickly circulated through the store's ventilation system, contaminating the building and sickening lots of people.

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June 08, 2012

Terminal munchies

Like, who would sell his weed to buy food, man?

Stoner tries to pay for meal at Denny's with a bag of weed

A Niagara Falls man did nothing to help Denny's reputation as being a late-night hangout for grubby stoners when he attempted to pay for his meal on Saturday with a sack of weed. According to police, the dude, apparently racked with the munchies and Jonesing for a Grand Slam, wandered into the all-night diner in New York around 2 a.m. He ordered a meal worth $9.91 but when it came time to pay, he presented the cashier with $1 and a bag of marijuana. When the cashier refused, he began walking around the restaurant trying to sell the pot to other diners before someone called the cops. Police are still tracking him down, but come on, man, didn't you hear how this ended for the taxi guy?

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June 05, 2012

If you've got it, flaunt it

An NBA Player Has An ATM In His Kitchen That Holds $20,000 And Charges An Egregious Fee

Brooklyn Nets player Deshawn Stevenson made waves when he tweeted out a picture of himself and his in-home ATM earlier this week.

Now, we have fresh details from TMZ:

It holds $20,000, and he gets it refilled 4-6 times a year
It has a $4.50 fee every time you use it (!)
It cost $3,500

Stevenson's reasoning for buying it, "I like doing things that aren't normal and it's cool to have."

He added that it's primarily used by his rich friends before they go out.

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June 04, 2012

The cleaning fairy doesn't work cheap

Cleaning fairy breaks into woman's home, cleans apartment

A cleaning woman in Ohio may be stuck sweeping a jail cell.

Susan Warren, 53, was arrested by Westlake, Ohio, police after she allegedly broke into a woman's apartment, cleaned it (lightly) and left a bill.

"She wrote a note on a napkin and left it on the table, saying, '$75 I was here to clean,' and left her name and number," Sherry Bush told WBBH-TV.

Bush said Warren cleaned a few coffee mugs, took out the trash, vacuumed the carpet and cleaned up her daughter's playroom.

Flabbergasted, Bush called the number to ask if she had gotten the wrong house. She said Warren became irate and told her she "did this all the time" and demanded she pay up.

Frighteningly, that may be true.

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June 01, 2012

This'll get their attention

Sex tape spliced into graduation video

HELLERUP, Denmark, May 29 (UPI) -- The principal of a Danish high school said he was outraged when a video shown at graduation was interrupted by a video of a student having sex.

Principal Jorgen Rasmussen said the video shown to the 450 people attending the ceremony at Gammel Hellerup Gymnasium was supposed to celebrate the graduating class with pictures from their time at the school, but the video was interrupted by footage of a male student having sex with a woman who does not attend the school, The Copenhagen Post reported Tuesday.

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May 31, 2012

Fandom for sale

Buy a group of Belgian soccer fans to root for your country during euro 2012

For sale: Belgian soccer fans for euro 2012. Second hand but mint condition. Not been used since Fifa World Cup 2002.

Once again we Belgians have no team to root for at the euro 2012 soccer championship. Since tournaments are much more fun when you have a favourite team, we decided to put our fandom for sale at ebay.
All profits will be sent directly to Unicef.

What is for sale:
During Euro 2012, all members of this facebookgroup:

https://www.facebook.com/groups/414750861890585/

will root for the national soccer team of the highest bidder, or the national team of his choice.

Via Carpe Diem

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May 30, 2012

The war on Cheetos

Mexican Cartel Declares War on Cheetos

Mexican drug cartels are not strictly drug cartels. One of their fastest-growing markets is extortion of private citizens and businesses. Don't pay, and you can be threatened — or worse. But largely, the cartels target small businesses and individuals, and stay away from the larger industries. Now several arson attacks over the weekend against a Mexican snack chip subsidiary might be the first time the cartels have targeted a multinational corporation.

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May 25, 2012

Everybody likes beer

Police say roving Mass. cows drank some brews

BOXFORD, Mass.—Police in Boxford say a roving group of cows crashed a small gathering in town and bullied the guests for their beer.

Boxford Police Lieutenant James Riter said he was responding to call for loose cows on Sunday and spotted them in a front yard on Main Street.

Riter says the herd soon high-tailed it for the backyard, and then he heard screaming.

He says when he ran back there, he saw the cows had chased off some young adults and were drinking their beers.

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May 24, 2012

Put the camera down real slow

Connecticut Cop Arrested After Pulling Gun On Cop Who Photographed Him

Fellow officers thought it would be funny to photograph David Davis, a Connecticut railroad police officer, sleeping at his desk while on shift.

They probably didn't expect Davis to wake up, pull out his gun and point at the officer who had just taken his picture.

"No one's taking pictures today," Davis told John Freeman. [...]

The incident took place in February. He [Davis] was arrested Friday.

Davis, 51, a Metro-North Railroad police officer, is now facing first-degree reckless endangerment charges.

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May 23, 2012

Never mind...

From the Post-Dispatch:

Never mind! Robber changes her mind at Richmond Heights bank

RICHMOND HEIGHTS • A woman who tried to rob the Commerce Bank at 7910 Clayton Road over the weekend apparently changed her mind midway through the robbery attempt, grabbing her demand note and leaving the bank without money, police said.

The woman walked in about 9:50 a.m. Saturday and handed a note to the teller which indicated she wanted money and that she had a gun. But the woman became impatient after handing over the note, police said, retrieving it and walking out of the lobby.

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May 22, 2012

The real estate market's warming up

The $1 million parking space
Only in New York, kids . . .

You'll need a trunk full of cash to park here.

The city's first million-dollar parking space is on the market.

The private garage at 66 E. 11th St. costs six times more than the national-average price of a single-family home.

Buying it would be the same as paying a $115 ticket for illegal parking every day — for 24 years. [...]

The hot space is about 12 feet wide, 23 feet long and more than 15 feet high.

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May 21, 2012

Open wide

I assume the rapid effect is due to inhaling the spray.

The binge drinking machine? Mouth spray that gets you drunk in seconds - but you sober up just as fast

A new gadget is designed to get people drunk INSTANTLY.

The makers claim, however, that the 'harm' is limited, because you sober up equally rapidly.

The alcohol is delivered via an aerosol spray, so people feel briefly drunk, then sober up.

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May 17, 2012

What a headline (8)

Seattle Times: ‘With Dicks In,’ Congressional Dems Favor Gay Marriage Ban Repeal

The copy editing team at the Seattle Times either had too much or not enough time on their hands this afternoon, when they ran with the headline: “With Dicks in, all 6 WA congressional Democrats favor repeal of gay-marriage ban.” The reference was to Rep. Norm Dicks (D-WA) who had just announced his support for the repeal of the state’s prohibition on gay marriage, but the effect of that headline was something quite different from what the Seattle Times had intended.

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May 16, 2012

Tell us what you really think

A Midsummer Night’s Clusterfuck

If you’re a Shakespeare virgin as either an actor or an audience member, A Midsummer Night’s Dream is the ideal place to start. The language is not intimidating or difficult, and it’s so filled with simple mischief and delight that it’s as close to foolproof as any play ever written. I’ve seen amateur productions of Midsummer that were at least winningly buoyant, and some were even unforgettable, maybe because it’s partly conceived as a send-up of amateur players. And now I’ve seen something I never thought I’d see, a star-studded production of Midsummer at Classic Stage (through May 20) that turns this most charming and actable of all Shakespeare plays into a disaster area of poor ideas and incoherent intentions, an extended agony of directorial and design malfeasance.

Via Samizdata

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May 14, 2012

We're gonna party like it's 2013

New Mayan Calendar Discovered That Doesn't End in 2012

Archeologists have unearthed what they say is the oldest known version of the Mayan calendar and one that doesn't "end" with the Earth's destruction later this year. Yeah, you're welcome.

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May 10, 2012

Hell hath no fury (4)

Chew Cheating Rat

A jilted dentist who pulled out all her boyfriend's teeth after he dumped her for another woman is facing three years in jail in Wroclaw, Poland.

Anna Mackowiak, 34, was astonished when just days after breaking up with her, Marek Olszewski, 45, turned up at her surgery complaining of tooth ache.

"I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions.

"But when I saw him lying there I just thought, 'What a bastard' and decided to take all his teeth out," she admitted.

After putting him to sleep with a heavy dose of anesthetic, the spurned dentist locked the door and then began plucking his teeth out one by one.

Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

Update:The L.A. Times says, "Story about scorned dentist appears to be a hoax"

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May 09, 2012

Lost or stolen or strayed

Hundreds of 5-year-old municipal vehicles found in Miami that were never used

Have you ever bought a brand new cars only to forget where you put it? How about 300 of them? Probably not – unless you're Miami-Dade County, which was recently reunited with 298 vehicles it bought brand new between 2006 and 2007.

The county "discovered" this fleet of no-mileage vehicles after reading about them in a Spanish-language newspaper there (see the source for more images). Most of the misplaced motorcade is made up of Toyota Prius hybrids whose warranties either expired with very few miles on the odo or will very soon.

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May 08, 2012

Don't bring a sword to a chain saw fight

Bloody battle between neighbours sees man's arm almost severed with a chain saw... and another's finger chopped off with a SAMURAI sword

In a bloody battle between two warring neighbours in Australia today, one man's arm was almost severed with a chain saw, while another had a finger chopped off with a Samurai sword.

Surgeons were later trying to save the arm of the chain saw victim, Mark Jorgenson, 29, while his neighbour Troy Thornton, 26, was being treated after losing his finger to the Samurai sword.

Police who rushed to the small town of Minto, south west of Sydney, found pools of blood in the street and Mr Jorgenson crying in pain from his almost-severed arm.

Via Clayton Cramer

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May 07, 2012

What a headline (7)

Free Pussy Riot

In his final interview as president of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev was asked to comment on many of the issues one would expect—relations with the United States, Ukraine and Georgia, government corruption… and the Pussy Riot case.

While you might not have heard much, if anything, about Pussy Riot in this country, the feminist punk rock collective has roiled Russian politics. Back in February, on the eve of Russia’s presidential election, it gave an impromptu performance of “Punk Prayer” on the pulpit of Christ the Savior Cathedral—Moscow’s Russian Orthodox equivalent of St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City. The performers wore ski masks, jabbed and kicked at the air and genuflected to verses imploring the Virgin Mary to “get rid of Putin, get rid of Putin, get rid of Putin.”

Via The Agitator

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May 04, 2012

The midi-chlorian count was low, no doubt

Obiwan Kenobi Arrested In Roseville Hit-And-Run

ROSEVILLE, Calif. (KCRA) -- Jedi-mind tricks apparently weren’t enough to keep Obiwan Kenobi out of the Placer County Jail.

Roseville police said that over the weekend they arrested a 37-year-old with the same name as the Star Wars character on suspicion of hit-and-run causing injury. Kenobi was also wanted on an unrelated charge of petty theft, authorities said.

Kenobi was arrested in connection with a five-vehicle crash that took place March 19 at Fairway and Rosehall drives.

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May 03, 2012

They're not going to watch themselves, are they?

Cops REQUIRE Copies of Unedited Porn Films Under New Simi Valley Law

Simi Valley recently passed a law requiring porn performers to wear condoms, which was widely perceived as a way to keep out condomless productions fleeing from Los Angeles.

But tucked into that law was a provision requiring adult videos producers to submit unedited copies of their films to the local police department for review, according to CBS Los Angeles. You know, just to make sure there was no funny business going on.

This got LOLs from the folks at Fark: "Breathless sweaty detectives promise to put as many hours as it takes to service protection."

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May 02, 2012

Ridin' bareback

Nude pillion passenger allowed to ride on after she gets 'no helmet' ticket

A woman riding on the back of a motorbike stark naked was pulled over by police - because she wasn't wearing her helmet.

The pillion passenger's dangerous curves no doubt proved distracting for other drivers on the road, but cops clearly didn't want to see her cover up.

After pulling the motorbike over in Romania, officers let the modern day Lady Godiva off with just a warning and a ticket for not donning a helmet.

The cheeky rider then hopped back on the bike, nude but for a crash helmet, and sped off - giving fellow motorists plenty of photo opportunities.

bareback-rider.jpg
The nude rider may have stopped traffic, but cops only wanted her to put her helmet on (Pic: CEN)

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April 30, 2012

There's an app for that (4)

Smartphone app files official TSA complaints in real-time

A smartphone application set to debut next week looks to bring real-time complaint reporting to Transportation Security Administration (TSA) checkpoints.

Developed by funding from The Sikh Coalition, a civil rights umbrella group that looks out for people who follow Sikhism, the app asks a series of questions that mirror the complaint reporting document offered on the TSA’s website, then sends the agency an official report, which they claim are always followed-up on.

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April 27, 2012

Ready, fire, aim!

Teen Driver Shoots Flare Into Own Car, Police Say

HOOKSETT, N.H. -- A teen driver who pointed a flare gun at another driver ended up firing a flare into his own car, police said.

State police said the incident began Monday evening when one driver cut off another car as they were going through the Hooksett tolls.

"There was a verbal exchange of some kind. I believe there was gesturing between the two of them," Sgt. Charles Johnston said.

Police said the two cars were driving north on Interstate 93 toward Bow when 18-year-old Nicholas Richer pointed a flare gun out of the window at the other driver. Investigators said Richer fired the flare into his own car as he was pulling the gun back in the window.

The other driver called 911 to report the incident.

"The flare gun discharged inside the suspect's vehicle, ignited, caught the right passenger's front seat on fire," Johnston said.

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April 25, 2012

Ho-hum

The not-so-exciting story of how a Scottish village called Dull became twinned with a U.S. town called Boring

If you lived in a place with a Dull church, a Dull war memorial and a Dull Highland Adventure Safari would you fancy a trip to a town featuring Boring pubs and Boring restaurants?

That's what lies in store for the residents of the small settlement of Dull in Scotland as the community gears up to formally link with the town of Boring situated in the U.S. some 5,542 miles away. [...]

The idea of bringing the two places together emerged after Elizabeth Leighton, from Grandtully, in Perthshire, passed through the U.S. town while on a cycling holiday.

She then decided to share the news of her exciting discovery with her Dull friend Emma Burtles and chairman of the Boring Community Planning Organisation Steve Bates.

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April 24, 2012

Engrish WTF (2)

What exactly is 'Hand Shredded A$$ Meat'? A new dictionary for Chinese restaurants may tell you

BEIJING – Overseas tourists often find the menus here befuddling, for good reason.

After all, what Westerner has experience with foods like these? “Cowboy leg,” “Hand-shredded ass meat,” “Red-burned lion head,” “Strange flavor noodles,” “Blow-up flatfish with no result,” or “Tofu made by woman with freckles.”

As proud as the Chinese people are of their thousands of years of gastronomic culture, even a Chinese native can feel disoriented when going to another province, given all the different styles of cooking. Many of the food names, often unique to different provinces, get lost in translation, especially in booming cities starting to embrace overseas tourists.

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April 23, 2012

He won't talk his way out of this one very easily

Hunter thinks he hears a pig, shoots his girlfriend

A Florida woman is recovering from bullet wounds to her legs after she was hit accidentally by her boyfriend while hog-hunting, according to authorities.

The couple, both 52, were at Cowart Hunt Camp in Flagler County when the man heard a noise in the woods and fired, thinking it was a hog, wftv.com reported.

Instead of a hog, Steven Egan shot his girlfriend, Lisa Simmons. She suffered gunshot wounds to both legs Saturday night and was in serious condition.

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April 20, 2012

Not exactly the Orgasmatron

If you can't believe a management professor and a sexologist, who can you believe?

Researchers Claim Sex Robots Will Be Future Of Sex Tourism

LAS VEGAS (CBS Las Vegas) – Are robots the future of prostitution and sex tourism? That’s what two New Zealand researchers claim.

Ian Yeoman, management professor, and Michelle Mars, sexologist, are researchers at Victoria University of Wellington in New Zealand. Their work together revolved around the concept of futuristic sex tourism.

The hypothesis? Sex robots would become the leading ladies of sex-for-profit in the seemingly distant year of 2050.

The paper was called “Robots, Men and Sex Tourism,” a work that made its way into a journal called Futures, according to a report in The Dominion Post.

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April 19, 2012

Enough is enough

F***ing had enough of prank calls

Residents of the picture postcard Austrian village of F***ing are to vote this week about whether to change the name.

The final straw has been a growing number of calls by pranksters who ring up locals and ask in English "Is That F***ing" - before hanging up.

F***ing Mayor Franz Meindl said the village's road signs were regularly stolen - even though they were now welded on steel posts set in concrete.

"The phone calls are really the final straw," he said.

Couples have also been spotted romping naked in front of the signs, and local entrepreneurs cashed in by selling F***ing postcards, F***ing Christmas cards and even F***ing beer.

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April 18, 2012

Eau de pomme

Smell like a MacBook Pro with this new perfume - yes, really

Have you ever opened an Apple MacBook Pro box, inhaled and thought, "If I only I could smell like the inside of this box, I'd be the coolest person ever"? If so, your (frankly disturbing) dreams are about to come true with a new fragrance by Air Aroma, based on the smell of unboxing a new MacBook Pro.

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April 17, 2012

I'm sure it does

Cannabis wine catching on in California

A number of California winemakers are secretly producing wines laced with cannabis, with Cabernet Sauvignon the grape variety of choice for the blend.

“Pot wine is increasingly fashionable in wine country – much of the marijuana used for the wine comes from California’s weed capital Humboldt County,” Crane Carter, president of the Napa Valley Marijuana Growers said.

“Cabernet Sauvignon from the Stag’s Leap district is thought to pair particularly well with pot,” Carter added.

According to Carter, pot wine delivers a quicker high than pot brownies, and the combination of alcohol and marijuana produces “an interesting little buzz.”

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April 16, 2012

Don't go a-knockin'

Gravy-wrestling model suffers horrific facial injuries after being hit with monkey wrench when she interrupted a friend having sex

A model who became a champion gravy wrestler suffered serious eye damage after being hit in the face with a monkey wrench.

Elisa Sampson, 31, was hit in the face by her 'best friend' Sabina English, after arriving back at her home in Rossendale, Lancashire, and finding the single mother having sex with another friend on her sofa.

When kick boxer Elisa interrupted the two with a shout of: 'What are you doing', laundry worker English jumped up and hit her in the face with the garage tool, which was lying nearby on the floor.

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April 12, 2012

Well it wouldn't cut grass, would it?

Man found pushing lawn mower, cursing while in middle of street

A man was arrested early Tuesday after police found him cursing while pushing a lawn mower in the middle of the street.

Issac Kindred, 56, was charged with disorderly while intoxicated, Columbus police said.

According to reports, Kindred was seen about 2 a.m. Tuesday pushing a lawn mower as he walked in the middle of Floyd Road. Kindred stared at the sky, yelling, and he didn’t stop yelling after police told him to calm down.

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April 09, 2012

What comes after Vista?

Bill Gates funds new machine that filters your toilet waste back into 'drinkable' water

Next time you see a dog lapping thirstily at a toilet bowl, pause for thought - next time, it could be you.

A new invention - funded by Bill Gates - aims to turn used toilet water into drinking water.

Manchester University’s Sarah Haigh is an expert in nanotechnology - the science of manipulating atoms in matter - and says, it could make waste water from toilets safe to drink.

The innovation - which has been funded by billionaire Bill Gates - could transform the lives of millions of people in the third world.

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April 06, 2012

Cop fantasy

Seriously?

Woman's 'cop fantasy' ends with DUI

ALTOONA, Pa. -- A state trooper says an extremely drunk woman met him at the door wearing underpants and holding two yellow roses she wanted him to accept as part of her "cop fantasy" -- before he charged her with drunken driving instead.

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April 04, 2012

Oops (16)

Priest probed over indecent images

The head of the Catholic Church in Ireland has said a priest who revealed pornographic images during a Holy Communion presentation is being investigated.

Father Martin McVeigh was to host a Powerpoint presentation to parents at St Mary's School in Pomeroy, Co Tyrone last week.

Instead, around 16 pictures of gay porn which had been stored on a memory stick were shown to the 26 parents and an eight-year-old child who was also at the meeting.

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April 03, 2012

That'll draw 'em in, I'm sure

US town plans mock execution to attract tourists

Doug Ellison, 49, has asked the town’s Planning and Zoning Commission for permission to build the attraction, and intends to stage a mock hanging - with his own neck in the noose. [...]

The commission is expected to vote on the proposal next month, and Mr Ellison said he was hopeful of securing approval.

“My vision is to stage a shooting, where I'd gun down someone in the street, have a trial and a hanging, all within 20 or so minutes,” he said. “Anything longer than that and the tourists would lose interest.”

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April 01, 2012

Check your assumptions

From the Sun Sentinel's FloriDUH blog.

Report: Woman hid urine-filled vodka bottle in vagina

Mishelle Lindy Salzgeber, of Dade City, tried an unorthodox approach to passing a drug test in her probation office: The 20-year-old woman filled a small vodka bottle with somebody else's urine and paced it in her vagina, reports WTSP News-10 in Tampa Bay.

However, the pee inside the vodka bottle failed the test, which led to her arrest.

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March 29, 2012

Don't hunt for Easter eggs in China

It's one way to get a dose of phosphorus.

Urine-soaked eggs a spring taste treat in China city

DONGYANG, China (Reuters) - It's the end of a school day in the eastern Chinese city of Dongyang, and eager parents collect their children after a hectic day of primary school.

But that's just the start of busy times for dozens of egg vendors across the city, deep in coastal Zhejiang province, who ready themselves to cook up a unique springtime snack favored by local residents.

Basins and buckets of boys' urine are collected from primary school toilets. It is the key ingredient in "virgin boy eggs", a local tradition of soaking and cooking eggs in the urine of young boys, preferably below the age of 10.

There is no good explanation for why it has to be boys' urine, just that it has been so for centuries.

The scent of these eggs being cooked in pots of urine is unmistakable as people pass the many street vendors in Dongyang who sell it, claiming it has remarkable health properties.

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March 28, 2012

A long walk on a short pier

Texting woman falls into lake

ST. JOSEPH, Mich., March 20 (UPI) -- Authorities in Michigan said they pulled a 45-year-old woman out of Lake Michigan after she fell off a pier while text messaging.

St. Joseph police said Bonnie Miller of Benton Harbor was text messaging on her phone and was not carefully watching where she was walking when she fell Monday from the South Pier in St. Joseph, WOOD-TV, Grand Rapids, reported Tuesday.

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March 26, 2012

Real Women of Genius

'SMUGGLER': None-too-subtle license plate nets aspiring drug runner

Here’s a tip for all the would-be drug runners out there – don’t move kilos of cocaine in a car with a personalized license plate reading “SMUGGLER.”

Federal investigators contend a woman was caught in Blaine doing just that late last year.

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March 21, 2012

Higgledy piggledy

Police capture chicken at large

MANITOWOC — Police are seeking the owner of a chicken that was taken into custody Sunday.

According to the Manitowoc Police Department report:

An officer, called to the 600 block of South 28th Street for the report of a chicken at large, located the white hen. Police dispatch did not have any reports of a missing chicken. The chicken was skinny and looked as if it hadn’t been fed recently.

Higgledy Piggledy, my white hen;
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
You cannot persuade her with gun or lariat
To come across for the proletariat.

- Dorothy Parker

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March 20, 2012

Server drones

The Pirate Bay to Fly 'Server Drones' to Avoid Law Enforcement

The world’s largest and most resilient BitTorrent site plans to redefine “cloud computing” with a plan to move at least some of its servers onto unmanned drones miles above Sweden.

In a Sunday blog post, The Pirate Bay announced new "Low Orbit Server Stations" that will house the site's servers and files on unmanned, GPS-controlled, aircraft drones.

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March 19, 2012

Hitler's Hollywood homies

Heil Hollywood: The Los Angeles bunker from which Hitler planned to run Nazi empire after the war

It sounds like the bizzare script of a Hollywood B-movie.

In a parallel universe the Nazis have won the war, Adolf Hitler moves to LA where he mingles with the stars of the silver screen while running his evil empire from a luxurious ranch deep in the LA hills.

But during the 1930s, American sympathisers were so confident this exact scenario was actually going happen they spent millions building a deluxe compound ready for their fuhrer's imminent arrival.

Equipped with a diesel power plant, 375,000 gallon concrete water tank , giant meat locker, 22 bedrooms and even a bomb shelter, the heavily guarded estate was home to a community of Hollywood fascists who hoped to ride out the war there.

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March 16, 2012

Meanwhile in Louisiana

Bill proposes no straw hole for drive-through daiquiris

Louisiana lawmakers will consider restrictions on drive-through daiquiri sales when they convene next month.

Senator Dan Claitor proposes legislation to make it illegal for drive-through daiquiri shops to copntinue to use lids that can be punctured by a straw.

"This bill simply says it can't be pre-perforated," he explained.

The Baton Rouge lawmaker wants to remove the straw hole to make it harder for drive-through daiquiri customers to put a straw in their drink while they drive to their destination.

Claitor says he filed this exact bill two years ago and it didn't get out of committee.

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March 15, 2012

Facebook blues

Facebook 'friend' Offer Exposes Man's Other Wife

TACOMA, Wash. (AP) -- A county corrections officer in Washington state has been charged with bigamy after Facebook discovered two women were connected to him and suggested they might want to be "friends."

Pierce County prosecutors say Alan L. O'Neill married a woman in 2001, moved out in 2009, changed his name and remarried without divorcing wife No. 1.

Wife No. 1 recently found out about Wife No. 2 when Facebook detected their connection to O'Neill and suggested the friendship connection. [...]

He was placed on administrative leave after prosecutors charged him Thursday. He could face up to a year in jail if convicted.

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March 14, 2012

Cognotive impairment

Most women would rather be beautiful than smart because most men can see better than they can think.

Why Interacting with a Woman Can Leave Men "Cognitively Impaired"

Movies and television shows are full of scenes where a man tries unsuccessfully to interact with a pretty woman. In many cases, the potential suitor ends up acting foolishly despite his best attempts to impress. It seems like his brain isn’t working quite properly and according to new findings, it may not be.

Researchers have begun to explore the cognitive impairment that men experience before and after interacting with women. A 2009 study demonstrated that after a short interaction with an attractive woman, men experienced a decline in mental performance. A more recent study suggests that this cognitive impairment takes hold even when men simply anticipate interacting with a woman who they know very little about.

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March 13, 2012

It's in the air

New theory: CO2 makes you fat

Danish researchers are speculating whether our large emissions of CO2, e.g. from fossil fuels such as coal, oil and natural gas, have a surprising ‘CO2 effect’ – making humans hungrier and fatter. (Photo: Colourbox)

No, this is not 1 April – and this is not an April Fool’s hoax.

Mad as it may sound, Danish researchers have announced a theory that may not only explain why people all over the world are getting fatter and fatter, but also warn of the serious consequences for life on Earth of continued pollution of the atmosphere by CO2 emissions.

In itself, the theory is quite simple: CO2 contributes to making us fat.

H.T. Paul B

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March 12, 2012

Brawling to Brahms

Orchestra brawl: Fistfight in elite seats stuns symphony patrons

It gets so quiet during the second movement of the Brahms Symphony No. 2, you could almost hear a pin drop.

Or a sneeze. Or a fist hitting a face.

Such was the case Thursday night at Orchestra Hall in a ruckus the Chicago Symphony Orchestra officially described as “an incident” between “two patrons.” But shocked concert-goers and police called it a fist fight in one of the boxes — where the elite typically sit and expect a more refined experience.

Just as the second movement was drawing to a gentle close — with Music Director Riccardo Muti at the podium — a man in his 30s, according to police, started punching a 67-year-old man inside one of the boxes.

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March 09, 2012

Not TF

City rejects 'WTF' campaign

FRUITA, Colo., Feb. 29 (UPI) -- Officials in a Colorado town said they won't be giving official approval to a marketing campaign using the initials "WTF."

Clink Kinney, city manager of Fruita, said the city decided not to incorporate the initials -- which stand for "Welcome to Fruita" as well as a popular text messaging and online chatting abbreviation for a profane phrase -- after asking for opinions from the public, USA Today reported Wednesday.

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March 08, 2012

Coffee klatch told to give up coffee

Coffee is banned... from mums' coffee morning group

Council officers told the group to change its name from Coffee and Play to Baby Play – and swap biscuits for fruit and breadsticks as snacks

Mums have been told they cannot have a cup of coffee while looking after their toddlers at a children’s centre – because it’s against health and safety rules.

Council officers also told the group to change its name from Coffee and Play to Baby Play – and swap biscuits for fruit and breadsticks as snacks.

No children have been hurt in the five years the group has been running but the council said hot drinks were dangerous – even in special safety flasks.

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March 07, 2012

Beats getting shot by a Smith & Wesson

How to Build a Speech-Jamming Gun

The drone of speakers who won't stop is an inevitable experience at conferences, meetings, cinemas, and public libraries.

Today, Kazutaka Kurihara at the National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology in Tskuba and Koji Tsukada at Ochanomizu University, both in Japan, present a radical solution: a speech-jamming device that forces recalcitrant speakers into submission.

The idea is simple. Psychologists have known for some years that it is almost impossible to speak when your words are replayed to you with a delay of a fraction of a second. [...]

In tests, Kurihara and Tsukada say their speech jamming gun works well: "The system can disturb remote people's speech without any physical discomfort."

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March 06, 2012

Listen to your mother

Teenager wins £53,000 on lottery after finding ticket when mother forced him to clean bedroom

Slovenly Ryan Kitching, 19, reluctantantly clean his bedroom after being nagged by mum Susan when he unearthed 12 old tickets in his drawer he thought he had checked.

He was about to bin them but decided to take them to the supermarket to double-check - and one ticket contained five numbers and the bonus ball netting him a cool £52,981.

Delighted part-time Tesco worker Ryan said yesterday: "I am totally speechless - it was the happiest day of my life easily.

"My mum had been nagging me for weeks to tidy my room so I started cleaning up and found a pile of old tickets.

"I was about to bin them but at the last minute I got this strange feeling that I should get them checked.

"Next time she nags me to tidy my room I won't need telling twice."

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March 05, 2012

I think I'll check out the log flume, thanks

New winged roller coaster ‘the Swarm’ rips the arms off crash test dummies

A theme park in London is set to debut a powerful new winged roller coaster this month, but only after first figuring out how not to dismember its riders. Time reports that Thorpe Park has been conducting test runs of its new coaster, the Swarm, even enlisting fighter pilots who described the ride as "gut-wrenching." [...]

The ride's designers ran some test runs with crash test dummies, leaving many shocked when the dummies returned from the experience missing arms and legs. A team of former British fighter pilots were then brought in as the coaster's preparation neared completion. Mark Cutmore, team leader of the Blades, a stunt pilot organization, told the Metro: "I am a self-confessed adrenaline junkie, but even as a pilot used to G-force there were some gut-wrenching moments, and I have to admit the near miss element is eye-watering -- you really do feel as if you are going to crash into the structures."

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March 02, 2012

Rocky road

340-ton boulder to begin tortuous trip to LACMA, because it's art

A 340-ton boulder is expected to begin its difficult trek Tuesday night from a Riverside County quarry, rolling to a stop 11 days later in a new art exhibit at LACMA.

The two-story-high rock will begin its 106-mile journey on a custom-built, 294-foot-long centipede-like transporter between 10 and 11 p.m. and travel at the painstakingly slow speed of about 5 mph. It’s due to arrive at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art on Wilshire Boulevard in the wee hours of the morning March 10.

The 680,000-pound boulder is so large that work crews from about 100 utility districts will have to take down traffic signs, overhead wires and other obstacles to let the rock pass and then reinstall them later.

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March 01, 2012

Fix your FaceTime

Plastic Surgeon Invents Procedure for iPhone Users

Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be horrified.

There is now a plastic surgeon in Northern Virginia offering a "FaceTime Facelift," a medical procedure that, very specifically, aims to improve the way you look when video-chatting using the FaceTime app on the iPhone.

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February 29, 2012

Have they got a bridge for you

Two men held for stealing historic Chinese bridge

Two men have been arrested in China on suspicion of stealing a historic, century-old bridge, reports say.

The duo, identified only as Mr Hong and Mr Wang, are both from Anhui province.

They are being held on suspicion of cutting up and stealing the 17.5m-long Fengle bridge in Chenyi village in Fengxian district in Shanghai.

A villager found the bridge missing last November, with only two support structures left, said The Global Times.

"The two men confessed that they used two cranes and two trucks that night to lift and remove the 16 stone pieces that formed the floor of the bridge," the report quoted Ruan Jilong, deputy director of Jinhai police station in Fengxian district, as saying.

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February 28, 2012

When pork gets personal

Giving sausage a face

“Pig 3” has become an online star. The sow was the winner of the latest Meine Kleine Farm Facebook competition. The prize? Slaughter.

Pig 3 met its fate on Friday in Brandenburg at farmer Bernd Schulz’s pig farm - its memory will live on in the form of pork products. The pig’s face will appear on the packaging of 250 glasses of Leberwurst, 50 cotechino or Schlackwurst (a type of boiled Italian sausage) and 25 Mettringe sausages, already promised to buyers over the meinekleinefarm.org online shop.

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February 24, 2012

Try a little wine with that grease