February 04, 2012

But what do you tell your mother?

This is being reported as ordinary news; it may be the straight dope.

Dozens apply for brothel inspector job

A firm of private investigators in Australia has been advertising for a £50,000-a-year 'brothel inspector'.

The post involves "partaking of sexual services" undercover on behalf of local councils in New South Wales. [...]

"We had dozens if not more than that apply, it was certainly a popular job," he said, "the perfect job for a male.

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February 01, 2012

Organic authentic messaging

How Much Can a Celebrity Make for Tweeting?

The weirdest thing about the rumor that Kim Kardashian gets paid $10,000 for a Twitter endorsement is that it’s true. (She recently plugged ShoeDazzle.com*, for instance.) The biggest player in the pay-to-tweet market is Ad.ly, a social-media advertorial clearinghouse pairing brands with celebs to inject highly personalized advertising into their Twitter streams.

The pay rate for endorsing companies like Old Navy, Toyota, Best Buy, and American Airlines is determined by the size of a celeb’s following and how that group responds to his tweets with shares and retweets. [...]

Of course Charlie didn’t write those tweets himself. No celebrity does. Instead, they’re composed by hungry young tweet ghostwriters whose job it is to broadcast a celebrity’s voice in 140 characters. Says Ad.ly CEO Arnie Gullov-Singh, “Consumers react positively to organic authentic messaging.”

Via Carpe Diem

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January 30, 2012

Tells you everything except her phone number

News from Brighton, England.

I've slept with 1,000 men so far - I don't care if people judge me!

After spotting a gorgeous young man on her way to the shops, Crystal Warren couldn’t wait to speak to him on her way home. She’d spent her whole grocery trip daydreaming about where they could sneak off for some illicit sex.

Two hours later, after flirting outrageously with the total stranger and talking her way into his bed, she was back at home, delighted at how her afternoon had panned out.

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January 29, 2012

We got yer tacos, Mr. Mayor

Hundreds of tacos sent to Connecticut mayor

East Haven, Connecticut (CNN) -- Two days after a Connecticut mayor delivered an errant comment about eating tacos to support East Haven Latinos, some of whom are the alleged victims of police mistreatment, Mayor Joseph Maturo Jr. apparently got his wish.

Some 500 tacos were delivered to his office Thursday after a Latino activist group called Junta for Progressive Action launched a text-for-tacos campaign to draw attention to the comment, which Maturo later apologized for.

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January 26, 2012

I believe Texans can deep fry anything

Deep-fried beer invented in Texas

The beer is placed inside a pocket of salty, pretzel-like dough and then dunked in oil at 375 degrees for about 20 seconds, a short enough time for the confection to remain alcoholic.

When diners take a bite the hot beer mixes with the dough in what is claimed to be a delicious taste sensation.

Inventor Mark Zable said it had taken him three years to come up with the cooking method and a patent for the process is pending. He declined to say whether any special ingredients were involved.

His deep-fried beer will be officially unveiled in a fried food competition at the Texas state fair later this month.

H.T. Jeff G

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January 25, 2012

Passing the smell test

Strip club launches 'Alibi' aftershave to recreate scent of the office

You're home late, your clothes are dishevelled you smell of alcohol. How do you convince your better half you really weren’t out on the tiles?

The answer may be here... in the form of a new range of aftershaves designed to throw suspicious wives and girlfriends off the scent.

The Alibi range can mask the smell of a heavy night with aromas linked to more wholesome activities.

For example, My Car Broke Down is said to recreate the scent of fuel, burnt rubber, grease and steel, while I Was Working Late packs the odour of coffee, wool suits, cigarettes and ink.

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January 24, 2012

Expensive money

Two dollar bill is hot again for Tet

In recent years, giving US$2 bill as lucky money has become a trend in Vietnam, as it is thought to bring good luck. As Tet, or Lunar New Year, draws near, many are willing to pay 60 times the bill’s value to get one.

“$2 bills are produced in small numbers compared to other kinds. Besides, two is a beautiful number in Asian conception. Many buy the bills to put inside their wallet or to give to friends for good luck,” said Nguyen Hang, who works for a big supermarket in Hanoi.

She said she had just reserved a spot to buy a US$2 note, which is worth VND2.5 million ($125).

“It’s not new, but what is special is that it was printed 50 years ago, and its last four digits are 4444. That’s how the value was added up,” she explained.

Via Carpe Diem

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January 23, 2012

This was only a test

Passengers on British Airways flight terrified after message warns of crash landing

The friendly skies turned terribly frightening for passengers aboard a trans-Atlantic flight.

The overnight British Airways trip from Miami to London’s Heathrow Airport was thrown into panic after a recorded message mistakenly announced their plane was about to crash in the ocean.

“We were about three hours into the flight when an automated message came over ... saying, ‘This is an emergency. We will shortly be making an emergency landing on water,’” passenger Duncan Farquharson told the London Daily Mail. [...]

“We looked at each other and figured we were both about to die,” he told the British paper. “Families with children were distraught and people were in tears. It was very distressing.”

Thirty seconds later, a crew member casually announced that the prerecorded announcement was played accidentally and there was no risk.

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January 20, 2012

Oops (14)

Always mount a scratch monkey.

Freak washing machine accident boils lab monkey alive

PENNINGTON — They forgot to take the monkey out of the cage.

Bristol-Myers Squibb accidentally killed a crab-eating macaque this past summer when its cage was run through the wash cycle while the primate remained locked inside, according to an inspection report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

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January 19, 2012

Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time

Iran Mocks US With Toy Drone

The Iranian government, which captured a U.S. stealth drone in December, has agreed to give the top-secret spy craft back, but with a catch.

Instead of the original RQ-170 Sentinel drone, the Islamic Republic said Tuesday that it will send President Obama a tiny toy replica of the plane.

Iranian state radio said that the toy model will be 1/80th the size of the real thing. Iranian citizens can also buy their own toy copies of the drone, which will be available in stores for the equivalent of $4.

The White House formally requested return of the drone after the Iranians displayed it on state television. The U.S. says that the craft was operating over Eastern Afghanistan.

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January 18, 2012

Just picture it...

Dressing psychiatrists like wizards on the witness stand

Checking out a published report, Erik Magraken contacted former New Mexico state senator Duncan Scott and found that it was true, the lawmaker had indeed introduced a legislative amendment in 1995 providing that:

When a psychologist or psychiatrist testifies during a defendant’s competency hearing, the psychologist or psychiatrist shall wear a cone-shaped hat that is not less than two feet tall. The surface of the hat shall be imprinted with stars and lightning bolts. Additionally, a psychologist or psychiatrist shall be required to don a white beard that is not less than 18 inches in length, and shall punctuate crucial elements of his testimony by stabbing the air with a wand. Whenever a psychologist or psychiatrist provides expert testimony regarding a defendant’s competency, the bailiff shall contemporaneously dim the courtroom lights and administer two strikes to a Chinese gong…

The amendment — intended satirically, one should hasten to add –”passed with a unanimous Senate vote” but was removed from its bill before consideration by the state house and never became law.

Via Coyote blog

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January 17, 2012

I wonder if anyone took her up on it?

Police: woman offered sexual favors in exchange for McNuggets

A Los Angeles woman was arrested after she offered sexual favors in exchange for chicken McNuggets, Burbank police said.

Khadijah Baseer of Los Angeles reportedly opened customers’ car doors in the drive-thru of McDonald’s on the 1700 block of Olive Avenue about 11 p.m. Wednesday, asking for free chicken McNuggets in exchange for sexual favors, Officer Joshua Kendrick said.

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January 15, 2012

Sleepless in NYC

Ringing Finally Ended, but There’s No Button to Stop Shame

The unmistakably jarring sound of an iPhone marimba ring interrupted the soft and spiritual final measures of Mahler’s Symphony No. 9 at the New York Philharmonic on Tuesday night. The conductor, Alan Gilbert, did something almost unheard-of in a concert hall: He stopped the performance. But the ringing kept on going, prompting increasingly angry shouts in the audience directed at the malefactor. [...]

But no one, it seems, felt worse than the culprit, who agreed to an interview on Thursday on condition that he not be identified — for obvious reasons.

“You can imagine how devastating it is to know you had a hand in that,” said the man, who described himself as a business executive between 60 and 70 who runs two companies. “It’s horrible, horrible.” The man said he had not slept in two days.

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January 12, 2012

Clever answer

Man asked why he has large amount of cash, 'I don't have a job, read between the lines'

CRESTVIEW — A 24-year-old man was arrested Dec. 18 on charges of cocaine distribution, smuggling contraband into a detention facility and misdemeanor narcotic equipment possession.

Adrian Lamar Warren was pulled over after running a red light at McCaskill Street and East James Lee Boulevard, according to his Okaloosa County Sheriff's arrest report. [...]

During an interview, Warren was asked why he had such a large amount of cash and he responded saying, "I don't have a job, read between the lines."

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January 11, 2012

Criminal master minds (3)

Robber hands gun to cashier by mistake during robbery

The thief raided the Halifax bank in Cheapside in the City of London and demanded £700,000 in cash from the bank worker.

But after making his demands, the crook - who was wearing shades and a flat cap - handed over his gun to the cashier instead of a bag.

The male cashier froze as the crook realised his mistake and made a grab for his gun before running off as the security shutters came down.

Bank staff immediately raised the alarm, but the thief escaped after stealing a bank worker's bike and pedalling off.

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January 10, 2012

Markets in everything (16)

Sci-Fi Brothel to Open in Nevada

Hey gents, have you ever found yourself jealous of Captain James T. Kirk and his, …er intergalactic conquests? Do you longingly watch Jabba the Hutt’s dancing slave (her name is Oola, if you’re interested) and wonder, what if? Do you long to go where no man has gone before? Well, once a new sci-fi brothel opens in Nevada, you can.

Nevada is the only state that allows legal prostitution, and there are two dozen licensed brothels in the state, but none are sci fi-themed, yet. Nevada businessman and documentary star Dennis Hof just bought a run-down brothel 90 miles from Las Vegas and is planning on turning it into his newest business venture: Alien Cathouse.

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January 09, 2012

Sure it did

'Stolen' car parks itself in garage

A BIZARRE case involving a stolen car at Stirling has been cracked.

The case started when an Upper Sturt man left his car in the rear car park of the shopping complex at the corner of Pine St and Old Mt Barker Rd in Stirling while he went for a walk early on Sunday, December 18.

When he returned 15 minutes later, the car was nowhere to be found and he reported it stolen to police.

The stolen car was unaccounted for until Wednesday, January 4, when the new owners of a nearby house returned home.

They reported to police that while they were away, someone had broken into their garage. [...]

"Inside the garage they discovered the stolen car."

Investigations revealed that the man originally left the car without placing its automatic transmission into park.

"After he walked away, the car rolled through the car-park, across the road, down the driveway and forced itself under the roller door, parking perfectly inside the garage where it remained safely undercover for 17 days," the spokesman said.

Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

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January 06, 2012

And how do you spell that, sir?

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop arrested

A man with a rather unique name was arrested by Madison police Thursday because police said he was violating bail conditions from previous problems with the law.

Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop, 30, Madison, was tentatively charged with carrying a concealed weapon, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and a probation violation after his arrest at about 3 p.m. in the 800 block of East Mifflin Street.

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January 05, 2012

Squirrely or not?

Years ago, we lived a neighborhood with many trees and so with many squirrels too. One of our neighbors used to trap the squirrels (in live traps), drive them to a city park about 6 blocks away, and release them there. My guess was that the squirrels were back at his house before he was.

Residents firing at squirrels creates an issue in Chesterfield

Former Chesterfield Ward 1 Councilman Gene Schenberg insists he has the constitutional right to use firearms or other weapons to protect his home from repeated invasions.

By squirrels.

But Schenberg's firing of pellet guns and darts to quell nuisance squirrels on his property has become a danger, said current Ward 1 Councilman Matt Segal, who defeated Schenberg for the council post three years ago.

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January 04, 2012

This beats a birth certificate story

White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars

Forget Kenya. Never mind the secret madrassas. The sinister, shocking truth about Barack Obama’s past lies not in east Africa, but in outer space. As a young man in the early 1980s, Obama was part of a secret CIA project to explore Mars. The future president teleported there, along with the future head of Darpa.

That’s the assertion, at least, of a pair of self-proclaimed time-traveling, universe-exploring government agents. Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings insist that they once served as “chrononauts” at Darpa’s behest, traversing the boundaries of time and space. They swear: A youthful Barack Obama was one of them.

Back story here.

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January 03, 2012

Industrial-strength fashion

Fashion designer crafts gown out of Ford Focus parts

Auto designers spend a lot of time trying to achieve the classiness of haute couture. Now fashion designers are trying emulate them, incorporating car parts into a gown.

Two young British designers have created an elegant Edwardian dress and necklace with parts from a 2012 Ford Focus.

Scottish designer Judy Clark formed her frock with the help of two boxes full of components sent by Ford -- car keys, radio and dashboard components, seat covers and two red taillights. Clark said she wanted to create a dress that was both feminine yet involved industrial mechanics, Ford says.

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January 02, 2012

Ook

Orangutans to Skype between zoos with iPads

For the last six months, orangutans — those great, hairy, orange apes that go “ook” a lot — at Milwaukee zoo have been playing games and watching videos on Apple’s (seemingly ubiquitous) iPad, but now their keepers and the charity Orangutan Outreach want to go one step further and enable ape-to-ape video chat via Skype or FaceTime.

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January 01, 2012

A real high-roller

Lexington man charged with making a fake $1 million bill and trying to spend it

Talk about leaving the store with a big chunk of change.

A Lexington man is accused trying to use a fake $1 million bill to pay for his purchases at a Walmart.

Michael Anthony Fuller, 53, of 3 Parker St., walked into the Walmart on Lowes Boulevard in Lexington on Nov. 17. He shopped for a while, picking up a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other merchandise, totaling $476, an arrest warrant says.

When he got to the register, Fuller gave the cashier the phony bill, saying that it was real.

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December 30, 2011

Oops (13)

Kind columnist vows to help N.Y.Times readers on its reneged offer

Oh, geez, where's the Unsend button?

It's happened to most everybody, though less expensively so. A worker for the New York Times was preparing a pleading missive to several hundred disgruntled subscribers noting that they had recently canceled their paper deliveries.

We've all received such offers, some of them pretty good. 'We just know you miss us.' How about we cut the price of your newspaper subscription in half for the next 12, no, make that 16 weeks as a gesture of commercial good will -- and privately, "God Almighty, we've got to stop this circulation drop somehow!"

The Times worker, who will shortly be informed that he/she has accepted the next buyout offer, pushed the button. And off the email went -- to nearly 9 million people on the wrong list.

People who had not canceled their subscriptions. People who'd given their email to the newspaper for some reason long ago. People who liked the generous out-of-the-blue offer to cut in half what they'd already paid in full. And people who had thought the famous newspaper knew what was going on in the world but now discovered in its own offices apparently not so much.

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December 29, 2011

Partyin' hearty

Man shot as people pass around loaded gun

A Rock Island man was shot in his lower right leg and ankle when a loaded 12-gauge shotgun, which several people were passing around inside a house and posing with for pictures, discharged and struck him, Moline police said.

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December 28, 2011

Meet Pink Sparkly

'Call me Pink Sparkly And All Things Nice' says name change salon owner
Beauty therapist Charlotte Price has changed her name to Pink Sparkly And All Things Nice in a bid to promote her business.

The Nottingham mother of three, who goes by the shortened version of her name, Pink Nice, is just one of 100,000 Brits who decided to change their name this year.

She admits that she is obsessed with the colour, wears mostly pink clothes and has decorated her house in the colour, complete with furnishings.

'Everyone is still calling me by my old name. My mum thinks I'm a bit mad really and so do my children. They stick to Mum,' she said

The salon worker even decked her business out entirely in the colour and even uses pink wax on her clients.

Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

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December 26, 2011

Markets in everything (15)

Mexico Mayan region launches apocalypse countdown

Seize the day.

Only 52 weeks and a day are left before Dec. 21, 2012, when some believe the Maya predicted the end of the world.

Unlike enthusiasts of other doomsday theories who suggest putting together survival kits, southeastern Mexico, the heart of Maya territory, plans a yearlong celebration.

Mexico's tourism agency expects to draw 52 million visitors by next year only to the regions of Chiapas, Yucatan, Quintana Roo, Tabasco and Campeche. All of Mexico usually lures about 22 million foreigners in a year.

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December 24, 2011

Merry effin' Christmas

X-rated Christmas email wishing staff 'good sex' gets police chief suspended

Euclides Santos, police chief in the central Portuguese city of Coimbra, was suspended after an x-rated power point presentation was emailed out to all municipal staff in place of a wholesome festive message.

The presentation, featured on Portuguese television, included images of scantily clad women and was rounded off by Mr Santos wishing the 15,000 recipients success in the bedroom, Reuters reported.

'Enough with insincere and useless words. What I wish you from the bottom of my heart, is that you have incredible sexual relations, live a merry and happy life, work hard and get well paid,' the slide said.

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December 23, 2011

Joe Schmo's Lambo

Utah man wins Lamborghini, crashes it hours later

SALT LAKE CITY — A truck driver who won a Lamborghini worth about $300,000 in a convenience store contest crashed the sports car six hours after he got it, and he now plans to sell the 640-horsepower convertible because he can't afford the insurance or taxes.

"I already had offers on it. I'm going to sell it," David Dopp said Wednesday. "I have bills more important than a Lamborghini. I've got a family to support."

Dopp, a 34-year-old truck driver for Frito-Lay, spun out of control just a few hours after taking the keys to the Murcielago Roadster that he won in a "Joe Schmo to Lambo" contest sponsored by Maverik convenience stores.

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December 22, 2011

Clipper terror

I'm sure these assaults were no fun for the victims. Nonetheless, this sounds like an SNL skit.

Amish beard-cutting suspects arrested

Federal agents arrested the leader of a renegade Amish group and six others in eastern Ohio on Wednesday and charged them with hate crimes for a series of beard- and hair-cutting assaults against Amish men and women.

In a case that drew wide attention because of the unusual nature of the attacks, five of the men were arrested last month on kidnapping and other state charges, and were out on bail. [...]

In at least four violent attacks over the last few months, groups of men from Mullet's compound held men down to shear their beards with scissors and battery-operated clippers. In one case, several of Mullet's nephews also hacked off the hair of their own mother — Mullet's sister — who had fled the compound years earlier.

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December 20, 2011

Plus ça change...

115-year-old electric car gets same 40 miles to the charge as Chevy Volt

Meet the Roberts electric car. Built in 1896, it gets a solid 40 miles to the charge — exactly the mileage Chevrolet advertises for the Volt — the much-touted $31,645 electric car General Motors CEO Dan Akerson called "not a step forward, but a leap forward."

The executives at Chevrolet can rest easy for now. Since the Roberts was constructed in an age before Henry Ford's mass production, the 115-year-old electric car is one of a kind.

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December 19, 2011

Christmas spirit

Anonymous donors pay off Kmart layaway accounts

OMAHA, Neb. (AP) — The young father stood in line at the Kmart layaway counter, wearing dirty clothes and worn-out boots. With him were three small children.

He asked to pay something on his bill because he knew he wouldn't be able to afford it all before Christmas. Then a mysterious woman stepped up to the counter.

"She told him, 'No, I'm paying for it,'" recalled Edna Deppe, assistant manager at the store in Indianapolis. "He just stood there and looked at her and then looked at me and asked if it was a joke. I told him it wasn't, and that she was going to pay for him. And he just busted out in tears." [...]

Before she left the store Tuesday evening, the Indianapolis woman in her mid-40s had paid the layaway orders for as many as 50 people. On the way out, she handed out $50 bills and paid for two carts of toys for a woman in line at the cash register.

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December 16, 2011

Cheaper than an empty patrol car

Cardboard cop cars slow traffic

Traffic police in China have come up with a cost effective way of slowing down speeding motorists - with a cardboard cut-out of a squad car.

The cut-outs, which look like police vehicles from behind, are being used as a traffic calming technigue in eastern China's Jiangsu Province.

One motorist, Liu Yuan, said: "I spotted what I thought was a police vehicle parked on the hard shoulder so I hit the brakes. [...]

"It was so realistic. It even had a solar panel to power a flashing light to make it look even more realistic at night."

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December 15, 2011

Hot wheels (2)

Petrolhead gives old 1967 Chevrolet a top speed of 300mph

A speed demon has come up with a novel way of making his car go faster - by strapping a cruise missile engine to its roof.

Once a reliable 1967 Chevrolet barely driven over 100mph, the Jet-Impala 67 can now reach speeds of up to 300mph.

The powerful car also fires out 30ft flames and leaves massive clouds of smoke in its wake.

The monstrous motor created by petrolhead Paul Stender, has a 10,000bhp engine - the equivalent of 10 Bugetti Verons.

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December 14, 2011

Oops (12)

Sandusky lawyer inadvertently touts gay sex line

BELLEFONTE, Pa. — A lawyer for a former Penn State assistant football coach accused of molesting boys said Tuesday he didn't mean to refer to a gay sex phone line when he said anyone who believes university officials thought his client raped a 10-year-old boy and did little about it should call 1-800-REALITY.

The phrase is one attorney Joseph Amendola says he has used for years to mean "get a life," but the phone number is that of a sex line for gay and bi-curious men.

H.T. Paul B

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December 13, 2011

So take that!

N Korea furious at South's Christmas lights plan

North Korea has warned South Korea of "unexpected consequences" if it lights up a Christmas tree-shaped tower near their tense border.

The North's state-run Uriminjokkiri website said it would amount to a form of "psychological warfare".

Seoul's annual tradition of lighting up a Christmas tree tower was suspended in 2003 following a warming of ties.

However, the South lit a tower last year as relations deteriorated between the neighbours. [...]

The official says the towers will be located in the western, central and eastern parts of the border and security will be tight during the 15 days they are lit, beginning on 23 December.

Via The Agitator

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December 12, 2011

Reports of her death are greatly exaggerated

Hey, I’m Not Dead Yet

BROOKVILLE, Pa. (December 9, 2011)—A Pennsylvania man published an obituary for his still-living mother in an attempt to get paid bereavement time off from work, authorities say.

Relatives called The Jeffersonian Democrat newspaper in Brookville, Pa., after the obit appeared to report that the woman was actually alive and well and to underscore that, the woman visited the paper, too.
Click here to find out more!

Brookville police charged Scott Bennett, 45, with disorderly conduct on Tuesday.

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December 09, 2011

Looks like Zero Tolerance works both ways

Principal forced out over 9-year-old's 'sexual harassment' suspension

The principal who accused a 9-year-old North Carolina boy of sexual harassment for allegedly calling a teacher "cute" has been forced to retire. [...]

Jerry Bostic, principal of Brookside Elementary School in Gastonia, told WSOC on Tuesday night that he had retired because of the controversy.

"One mistake in 44 years, and I'm not given the benefit of the doubt. I really don't believe I was treated fairly," Bostic told the station.

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December 08, 2011

Who says prayer doesn't work?

'I put my hands in holy water and asked Jesus to give me some boobs'

She defies the size zero ideal of beauty with her vivacious curves, but Salma Hayek claims she didn't always have the womanly figure she is recognised for now. [...]

She said: 'I was the youngest in class and all these girls were starting to get them (breasts) and I wasn't getting anything - I was really scared.

'I was getting teased a lot because everyone was older and I was the skinny tomboy.'

Salma added: 'I went to a church that had a saint that was supposed to do a lot of miracles.

'I put my hands in the holy water and went: "Please Jesus give me some boobs."'

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December 07, 2011

A moving experience

Hanford worker goes for wild ride in portable toilet

A forklift operator learned the value of knocking first after he moved a Hanford portable toilet with a Teamster still in it.

On Oct. 5, a forklift operator near Hanford's D and DR reactors picked up the chemical toilet to move it to a new location, unaware that it was occupied, according to an occurrence report filed with the Department of Energy.

The driver lifted the outhouse 12 to 18 inches off the ground and backed it up about 15 feet across a gravel haul road. The door was against the loading rack of the forklift, trapping the Teamster inside.

The driver set the chemical toilet down to secure it to the loading rack, and when he got out of the forklift cab, he heard the Teamster inside. The report didn't indicate what the Teamster was saying.

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December 06, 2011

It's a small world (4)

Bulawayo man gets shocked as his newly hired prostitute happens to be his daughter

A man in Bulawayo's Nkulumane 5 suburb got the shock of his life after a commercial sex worker he allegedly called to his hotel room turned out to be his daughter. Mr Titus Ncube is said to have collapsed while the 20-year-old daughter bolted after seeing her father.

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December 05, 2011

She's proud

Effin in County Limerick seen as 'offensive' on Facebook

For most people adding the name of where they live on Facebook is relatively straightforward.

A problem, however, arises when the place where you live is seemingly branded as offensive by the social networking site.

One woman from Effin in County Limerick in the Irish Republic has so far been unable to add the village name to the 'home place' section of her Facebook profile.

Ann Marie Kennedy, who works in the department of nursing and midwifery at the University of Limerick, has now started an online campaign to to get Effin recognised.

"I was born and raised in Effin and my family come from here," she said. [...]

Ms Kennedy now lives in Banogue but hopes to move back to Effin. "I'm a proud Effin woman and I always will be an Effin woman," she said.

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December 02, 2011

Mr Eponymous

The Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. Detention Facility's Newest Inmate: Yup, Patrick J. Sullivan

If you needed any real-world evidence as to why you should never put your name on a building while you're still alive, former Arapahoe County Sheriff Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. has you covered.

The National Sheriff Association's 2001 "Sheriff of the Year" was arrested on Tuesday, suspected of trafficking methamphetamine, according to CBS Denver. The 68-year-old Sullivan served as Arapahoe County (Colorado) Sheriff for 19 years before retiring from his elected post in 2002.

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December 01, 2011

Payback time (4)

Picture at the link -- it's a piece of work.

A FURIOUS woman is suing her ex-boyfriend after he tattooed a steaming poo on her back.

Rossie Brovent wants £60,000 in damages from Ryan Fitzjerald.

Rossie, from Dayton, Ohio, US, wanted a scene from the Narnia trilogy inked on her back.

Instead she was left with a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.

Tattoo artist Ryan turned rogue after discovering that Rossie had cheated on him with his best friend.

H.T. Ms M.


Or maybe not.

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November 30, 2011

Adding insult to injury

A really crazy story - worth reading the whole thing.

Man Sues Couple He Kidnapped

[...] Jesse Dimmick [...] sued Jared and Lindsay Rowley last month. Dimmick was convicted in May 2010 of four felonies, including two counts of kidnapping, for a 2009 incident in which he held the Rowleys against their will for several hours. Dimmick was fleeing a murder charge in a stolen van when he drove over some spikes laid by Topeka police. The van came to rest in the Rowleys' front yard, and Dimmick then invited himself in at knifepoint to enjoy some involuntary hospitality.

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November 29, 2011

A communist chocolate hellhole

Interesting first name.

Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future

A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world. [...]

Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.

Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."

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November 28, 2011

Don't kick the dog

'Frosty the Snowman' arrested at Maryland parade

CHESTERTOWN, Md. (AP) — Who says "Frosty the Snowman" has to be jolly?

A man in a "Frosty the Snowman" costume was arrested Saturday during the annual Christmas parade in Chestertown, on Maryland's Eastern Shore. He's accused of scuffling with police and kicking at a police dog.

Sgt. John A. Dolgos tells The Star Democrat of Easton that 52-year-old Kevin Michael Walsh became agitated when a dog-handling officer tried to escort him away from the crowd.

It amazes me that many cops won't hesitate to kill dogs but in this case they're accusing Walsh of "kicking at" a police dog.

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Got any nude pictures of your wife?

This sort of reminds me of an old joke.

Husband exorted, embarrassed wife with sex pictures, jury finds

Jovica "Joshua" Petrovic was a vengeful man, federal officials said.

When his short-lived marriage began crumbling in 2009, Petrovic threatened to release family secrets.

Beginning in 2010, after his wife said she wanted a divorce, he stalked and harassed her and mailed roughly 150 homemade postcards to her boss, friends, relatives and neighbors. The cards carried suggestive pictures, insults and the address of a website where he posted still pictures from secretly made videos of them having sex, embarrassing personal information and some outright lies.

He demanded $100,000, her wedding and engagement rings and furniture he claimed she stole from a storage unit, in exchange for shutting down the site.

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November 24, 2011

Best abstract ever

From this paper (PDF).

Best-abstract-ever.jpg

Via The Agitator

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November 23, 2011

TGFB (8)

Be A True Bacon Lover With Baconlube

A few years ago J&D's, the makers of BaconSalt and Baconnaise, posted an ad for Baconlube as an April Fool's Day joke. The company tried to move on, but as they explain, "People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The waiting list grew to over 3,000 people. Expectations were built."

Now they've created a limited quantity of bacon-flavored lube and massage oils for troubled individuals who want their lover to taste more like cured pork. You shouldn't be shy about contacting the company because they promise, "We'll make no judgments about why you want this or what you want to do with it." However, you may want to figure out if your partner is interested in breakfast-themed sex before springing this on them.

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November 21, 2011

Markets in everything (14)

Teacher's Porn Site Business ... Gets Her in Trouble With California School District

​Hot for teacher? She's got a business plan for that, apparently.

A 35-year-old California high school teacher is in hot water this week after her ex-husband reportedly revealed she was allegedly running "several" porn sites, including MySluttyTeacher.com, from her district-issue laptop, Fox 40 in Stockton reports. [...]

Of course, if this porn site business turns out to be fruitful, Kaeslin might just have a yawn and a good laugh. She's on paid leave as it is.

Finding inspiration for her operations, however, might prove to be more difficult if horny school boys aren't staring at her equipment.

One on of Kaeslin's sites the impetus for her digital smut was said to be the fact that ...

... Her male students spent most of the period staring at her boobs.

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November 18, 2011

Meet some cat fanciers

$27,500 bill to save dying cat

A Perth family paid $27,500 in veterinary bills to keep their cat alive after it was bitten by a tiger snake.

Meadow Springs couple Brigitte and David Harris took out a $20,000 bank loan, $18,000 of which they still owe, to pay for Ollie's treatment, but said it was worth it.

The family did not have pet insurance and Mr Harris advised other pet owners to consider it.

Pet insurance?

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November 16, 2011

Ain't no pork up in the pan

Soy Diet Is Cruel and Unusual, Florida Inmate Claims

MIAMI — One too many bouts of flatulence and cramping has led a Florida inmate to sue the Department of Corrections, arguing that the prison's soy-based turkey dogs and sloppy Joes amount to cruel and unusual punishment.

Eric D. Harris, 34, who is serving a life sentence for sexual battery on a child, said the soy in his prison chow is threatening his health by endangering his thyroid and immune system. Florida prisons serve meals with 50 percent soy and 50 percent poultry three times a day, a mixture that costs half as much as using beef and pork, the Department of Corrections says. The cost per meal: $1.70 a day for each inmate. Florida prisons first began serving soy-based meals in 2009.

Title ref

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November 15, 2011

A foul-mouthed fairy

(Not that I blame her, mind you.)

Fan launches food drive to show support for fired Sugar Plum Fairy

ST. CHARLES • Fans of the fired Sugar Plum Fairy have come up with a sweet way to show support.

Mike Swart, who started a Facebook page to save the Sugar Plum Fairy's job, is organizing a food drive that includes sweets as well as traditional food pantry items. He's hoping the thousand-plus people who have "liked" the Facebook page will participate.

[...]

Laura Coppinger, 29, who portrayed the character at the annual Christmas Traditions festival on historic Main Street for the last six years, was fired for cursing, not on the job, but when she went to take a drug test mandated for all city employees.

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November 14, 2011

Silicone saviors

'My boobs saved my life'

A FLAT-CHESTED woman cheated death in a horror car smash — thanks to her 'chicken fillet' bra pads.

Lisa Somerville was driving home in heavy rain when she lost control of her car and careered head-on into another vehicle.

The 28-year-old had to be cut from the car by firefighters and was rushed to hospital with a punctured lung, four cracked ribs and a broken nose.

Doctors later told the mum-of-one how she would almost certainly have died had she not been wearing the silicone implants to boost her AAA bust.

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November 11, 2011

Age cannot wither

World's oldest groom ties the knot at 120

What man doesn't want to marry a woman half his age?

Hazi Abdul Noor, a 120-year-old widower in India, made history this past weekend when he married 60-year-old Samoi Bibi, reports the Times of India.

More than 500 guests attended the wedding in Satghori, a remote village in the state of Assam. More than 100 of them were the groom's immediate family members - two sons, four daughters, their spouses and their many children.

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November 10, 2011

I'll bet he's... well... relieved

Nigerian actor freed after 25 bowel movements

A leading Nigerian comic actor arrested on suspicion of ingesting drugs to smuggle to Europe was on Friday freed on bail after 25 closely monitored bowel movements produced nothing suspicious.

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November 09, 2011

Paging Crystal Gayle

Doctor Offers Laser Treatment to Permanently Make Brown Eyes Blue

This week's step forward in conforming to the beauty standard at any cost is a laser that can turn brown eyes into blue ones. The treatment, developed by Stroma Medical's Dr. Gregg Homer, takes only 20 seconds to perform, but is irreversible. Aside from giving you the piercing stare of an Arctic wolf, the procedure could also impair your sight, experts warn. Brown eye pigment helps to prevent problems such as glare and double vision. Removing it could leave the eye with no way to control the light getting in.

Homer assures the BBC that the laser only affects pigment on the eye's surface and that the frequencies used are absorbed by the dark pigment on the iris, so there is no danger of eye damage. After testing on cadavers, he has moved his operation to Mexico, where he says there has been no evidence of injury thus far. His seventeen short-sighted patients have been offered lens transplants in return for taking part in the procedure.

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November 07, 2011

Somebody's gotta do it

MAJOR PUTTS

Brad Lebo is one of the best golfers in the world. He's never competed at Augusta National Golf Club or played a round with Tiger Woods, but he has already won a Masters Tournament and the U.S. Open. Twice.

Lebo is a professional mini golfer. Don't make a windmill joke just yet, though.

"When [people] give me grief about being a professional miniature golfer, if it's someone I know well, I'll say, 'What have you been the national champion at?' and that will end the conversation," Lebo said.

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November 04, 2011

Ribbed

New York Corduroy Appreciation Club searching for 11-year-olds born on 11/11

Somewhere in the city there is a child who will turn 11 on Nov. 11 — and a band of corduroy enthusiasts is hunting for that kid.

It's all part of the Corduroy Appreciation Club's celebration of 11/11/11, the date it says most closely resembles the ribs of its favorite fabric.

"That child is the messiah of corduroy," said Miles Rohan, founder of the 4,000-member club, which was started as a half-joke in 2005. "We liken it to finding the Dalai Lama."

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November 01, 2011

But you already know that

An ad on Craigslist.

Seeking Clairvoyant (Rochester)

Date: 2011-10-29, 6:42PM EDT
Reply to: job-shb3r-2675714361@craigslist.org [Errors when replying to ads?]

If you have the required abilities you already know what we are asking of you. You know where to find us. We are ready.

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October 28, 2011

The smell of old electrons

The smell of e-books just got better

Does your Kindle leave you feeling like there's something missing from your reading experience?

Have you been avoiding e-books because they just don't smell right? [...]

But all of that is changing thanks to Smell of Books™, a revolutionary new aerosol e-book enhancer.

Via Carpe Diem

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October 26, 2011

You can eat armadillos?

Man Allegedly Beat Woman with Frozen Armadillo

DALLAS - A man used a frozen armadillo to attack a 57-year old Pleasant Grove woman, Dallas police said.

The incident happened on Sept. 29 in an apartment complex parking lot.

According to investigators, the altercation occurred when the suspect was selling the carcass to the victim, who planned to eat the animal.

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October 24, 2011

It's hard to argue with the scientific method

From Britain's The Sun, originators of the "Page 3" topless-female-photo feature.

Test assesses best breasts

A DOCTOR has worked out what makes the perfect boobs — after carefully analysing 100 of our Page 3 girls.

Plastic surgeon Patrick Mallucci identified four key features during a three-month study.

First, the part of the boob lying below the nipple was ten per cent fuller than that above it — like those of Page 3 Hollie and model Kelly Brook. [See image at the site. - jdj]

Next, the nipples themselves were angled upwards at 20 degrees.

Finally the skin sloped flatly or inward above the nipple, and curved outwards below it.

Dr Mallucci explained: "The nipple meridian — a horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple — lay at a point such that the proportion of the breast above it was 45 per cent and below 55 per cent."

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October 21, 2011

Hate your job? (3)

I once rode a train in Egypt that had this type of plumbing (I was surprised to find).

Excrement and urine shower Zurich tunnel workers

Construction workers at the main railway station in Zurich have issued an ultimatum to rail operator SBB, threatening to stop working if excrement continues to fall from the ceiling of an alleyway they are building.

The problem derives from the fact that some of the old carriages on Swiss trains use toilets that deposit faeces directly onto the tracks. The human waste usually stays in place until it dries or the rain washes it away.

But an exception occurs whenever someone uses the toilets on trains stopped at Zurich station.

Construction workers operating below tracks 10,11,12,13,15 and 16 have reported receiving frequent faecal showers from cracks in the ceiling of the passageway where they are working.

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October 20, 2011

OK, but whose?

Taiwanese woman finds out she has testicles

(THE STAR/ASIA NEWS NETWORK) - Sin Chew Daily reported that a Taiwanese woman was shocked when a gynaecologist told her that she had testicles.

The woman, 34, decided to consult a specialist after experiencing pain in her genital area.

It was her first time seeking treatment from a gynaecologist although she had never experienced menstruation in her life.

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October 19, 2011

Only in Japan (5)

Pictures at the link (and a list of 'quirky innovations).

"Poop As You Go" Biogas Bike To Go On 600 Mile Tour Of Japan

Never dreamed poop could get you blazing down the asphalt? Well, now it all comes true as Japan's biggest toilet maker, TOTO, takes the toilet on the road with its launch of the Toilet Bike Neo, a bike that's powered entirely by human waste. The bike runs on biogas converted from feces that is harvested directly from the driver -- who sits on the bike's toilet-styled seat. It gives a new twist to "poop as you go," but that's not the only quirky innovation that this bike will feature.

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October 18, 2011

Never mind

Police: Man impersonating cop pulls over real cop

Police say a New Mexico man pretending to be police officer pulled over a real Albuquerque Police Department detective and is facing charges.

KOB-TV reports ( http://bit.ly/qRna9O) that Tyree Appleberry was given the citation Wednesday on charges of impersonating a police officer then arrested for an outstanding warrant.

According to police, the 42-year-old turned on his strobe lights on his white Chevy Tahoe in an attempt to stop a driver, who turned out to be an undercover officer..

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October 14, 2011

Answers for any question

Family Googled 'easiest way to kill an old person' before trying to murder 89-year-old grandfather

A British family Googled "the easiest way to kill an old person" before attempting to murder their 89-year-old relative for inheritance, authorities said.

The elderly victim's adopted daughter, his 16-year-old granddaughter and 19-year-old grandson have been convicted of conspiracy to murder in an English court. [...]

The family researched the possibility of poisoning the man with toadstools but then opted for attempting to "frighten him to death" by throwing bricks at his window late at night, prosecutors said.

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October 13, 2011

How... um... convenient

Dutch trains substitute plastic bags for bathrooms

AMSTERDAM — The Dutch national railway has an unusual solution for passengers who need the bathroom on a train line designed without them: plastic bags.

The rail operator underlined that the bags, introduced Friday, are for use in emergencies only, when a train has stopped and passengers can't be evacuated. The idea has been met with incredulity by politicians and the general public already unhappy with the short-haul "Sprinter" trains' bathroomless design.

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October 12, 2011

The headline writer couldn't resist

Stoner arrested for alleged possession of marijuana

Daniel Stoner, 26, was arrested early Friday for possession of cocaine and marijuana.

Bloomington Police Department Lt. Bill Parker said a foot patrol officer first noticed Stoner and two others sitting on a step in an alleyway on the south side of Brothers Bar and Grill. The officer thought he saw the men passing around marijuana, so he approached the group. He reportedly saw a bag of marijuana and a glass pipe.

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October 11, 2011

Only two weeks left

Canada's Best Restroom 2011

The finalists have been chosen! Voting ends October 24th and the winner will be announced this fall!

Sometimes the using the restroom can be quite the memorable experience. Establishments can have facilities that make you want to return or never come back. The Canada's Best Restroom contest is a great way to celebrate and promote business and bring recognition to your favourite establishments. Cintas will crown the 2nd Annual Canada's Best Restroom King of the Throne this fall!

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October 10, 2011

The bare facts

Naked ex-postman superglues himself to desk in Job Centre protest

Ian Robinson, 43, had to leave his job after developing arthritis, but the authorities have ruled he is not entitled to disability benefits and he must now try to survive on Jobseeker's Allowance.

Mr Robinson decided to demonstrate how angry he was about the decision by staging a bizarre protest in front of shocked staff at Bridlington Job Centre.

'When I started taking my clothes off, a man said "You can't do that in here", so I went over and glued myself to his desk. Nobody tried to stop me, it was too late by that point,' he told the Yorkshire Post.

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October 07, 2011

Sounds like it worked

Man's Halloween Decorations Prompt 911 Call

SALISBURY, N.C. -- No one was harmed in the making of this Halloween decoration.

But the Salisbury Post reported Tuesday that the roadside attraction was realistic enough for at least one 911 caller to report what looked like a grisly accident.

It actually was the harmless creation of a man with a vivid imagination and a broken lawnmower.

Chris Deaton made the decoration, which shows what appears to be a body with bloodstained jeans trapped under the blades of a riding mower. The victim seems to be taking it well, though, as he's holding a can of beer.

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October 05, 2011

Killer curry

Pair in hospital after Kismot 'killer' curry contest

Two people have been taken to hospital following the "world's hottest chilli" competition at an Edinburgh Indian restaurant.

Emergency services were called to the Kismot restaurant in St Leonards Street on Saturday afternoon after some competitors became "very unwell".

The competition involves people eating the "Kismot Killer" curry. [...]

On the restaurant's website it insists that participants sign a legal disclaimer before taking part in the competition, which raises money for the Scottish children's charity Chas.

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October 04, 2011

There are worse places to be stranded

Family rescued from Studland nudist beach as boat sinks

A family had to be rescued after their boat began sinking and they became stranded on a nudist beach in Dorset. [...]

A spokeswoman for RNLI said: "Unfortunately for them the nearest bit of land though was in the middle of the naturist beach at Studland.

"Apart from being shaken [the family was] okay.

"But the children had the additional trauma of the surroundings so they were taken onboard the inshore lifeboat and distracted from the scene."

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October 03, 2011

How to impress your date

Man shoots self on first date

CHARLOTTE, N.C., Sept. 29 (UPI) -- Police in North Carolina said a couple's first date was interrupted when a man accidentally shot himself in a parking garage.

Charlotte police said the couple returned to the man's car after eating Tuesday at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse on Fairview Road and the man's gun, which was in the car, somehow went off and shot the man, The Charlotte Observer reported Wednesday.

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September 29, 2011

Markets in everything (13)

Are you tired of being embarrassed by the fact that you don't have a girlfriend? Do you wish that you could get interrupted by a loving phone-call during man time?

Let me introduce you to FakeGirlfriend.

How it Works

1 Save (212) 804-6979 to your phone under your "girlfriend's" name.
2 When you're out with your friends, send a text to the FakeGirlfriend number.
3 FakeGirlfriend will respond with a random girlfriend-esque message.
4 About a minute later, FakeGirlfriend will call you with a pre-recorded message.
5 After you hang up, tell everyone how great your "girlfriend" is.



Via Carpe Diem

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September 28, 2011

Weird fetish

"Toe Suck Fairy" arrested on new charges

LITTLE ROCK, Ark (Reuters) - A man known in Arkansas as the "Toe Suck Fairy" for a series of 1990s assaults directed at women's feet was arrested after he struck again more than a decade later, police said.

Michael Robert Wyatt, 50, was arrested on Monday after two women identified him from a photo line-up as "the man who approached them in local stores commenting on their feet and asking to suck their toes," said LaTresha Woodruff, spokeswoman for the Conway Police Department.

One of the women described the man as having "really messed up toes."

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September 27, 2011

Markets in everything (12)

Rent-A-Guinea Pig Service Takes Off in Switzerland

Swiss animal lover Priska Küng runs a kind of matchmaking agency -- for lonely guinea pigs that have lost their partners. She lives with around 80 of the furry, squeaky little creatures, in addition to six cats, a number of rabbits, hamsters and mice in the village of Hadlikon, some 30 kilometers from Zürich.

Küng, 41, rents out her guinea pigs, a service that has been in high demand in the Alpine nation ever since animal welfare rules were tightened up a few years ago. Switzerland has forbidden people from keeping lone guinea pigs because the animals are sociable and need each other's company.

As a result, the sudden death of a guinea pig, shocking enough in itself, can also place the hapless owners outside the law if they only had two of the pets.

Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

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September 26, 2011

The undie run

Thousands run in underwear to protest Utah laws

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) -- Thousands of people stripped to their underwear and ran through Salt Lake City to protest what they called the "uptight" laws of Utah.

Undie Run organizer Nate Porter says the goal of the event Saturday was to organize people frustrated by the conservative nature of the state's politics.

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September 24, 2011

34 years of paint

Decorator turns baseball into world's largest ball of paint

Decorator Michael Carmichael decided to paint a baseball in January 1977. Since then he, his children and people from many other countries have applied 22,894 coats of paint to create the world's biggest paintball, which now weighs 1,587kg (3,500lb).

They stick to one golden rule. Each new coat has to be in a different colour from the last.

'It started as a relatively simple project and a bit of fun,' said Mr Carmichael.

'But I just kept on painting and painting and painting. And, before I knew it, it was enormous.

'Then I didn't want to stop. I moved it out of the garage a good few years ago after it outgrew it and now it has its own special shed.

'People come from all over the world to add a coat,' said the 64-year-old from Alexandria, Indiana.

'Sometimes I can add up to ten coats a day if the weather is dry but we've added at least one every day.'
paint ball First coat: Mr Carmichael's son Mike Jr started painting the baseball in 1977 (Picture: SWNS)

When he started, it had a 22.9cm (9in) circumference, now it is 179cm (70.58in) and officially recognised by Guinness World Records as the biggest recorded.

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September 22, 2011

Emptying the nest

Italian parents bring in lawyers to evict 41-year-old stay at home son

The elderly couple's patience with their grown-up offspring has finally run out after what they say is years of cooking him meals and washing and ironing his clothes.

They say the man has a perfectly good job and a steady income but has resisted all attempts to persuade him to fly the nest.

The couple, who have not been named, have taken their case to the legal department of an association for the defence of consumers' rights in Mestre, near Venice.

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September 21, 2011

TGFB (7)

Burglar caught frying bacon in UCity kitchen

UNIVERSITY CITY • A burglar was frying bacon when a University City woman returned home and caught him in her kitchen, police say.

Police nabbed the man, who they believe is responsible for at least one other burglary in the area.

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September 20, 2011

Unexpected occupational hazard

Aaron Sorkin breaks his own nose -- while writing

Never accuse Aaron Sorkin of lacking dedication to his craft: The Academy Award-winning writer broke his nose while working on a script.

"I wish I could say I was in a bar fight," Sorkin told the Ministry on Friday at the Emmy Awards' performance nominees' reception in West Hollywood, "but I broke my nose writing."

Sorkin said he was working on a block of dialogue in the mirror when he accidentally head-butted himself. In addition to creating series including "The West Wing" and last year's "Social Network" film sensation, Sorkin has invented a new occupational hazard.

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September 19, 2011

Alarm buttons?

Drive-in sex stalls get Swiss green light

Zurich city parliament on Wednesday rubber-stamped a loan earmarked for the construction of drive-in sex stalls where punters can meet prostitutes at purpose-built venues away from the city centre. [...]

Ten garage-like booths will be erected on derelict land in an industrial area in Alstetten, complete with parking spaces and alarm buttons. The so-called "performance stalls" will be the first of their kind in Switzerland if the project goes ahead.

The city council agreed last week to sanction the 2.4-million franc ($2.8m) loan for the development pending parliamentary approval.

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September 15, 2011

Irony update (4)

This is a reader contribution to Best of the Web Today, sent in by David Schlosser. (It's the last item.)

In 2006, I was the Libertarian candidate for Arizona's First Congressional District, running against the soon-to-be-convicted incumbent Republican, Rick Renzi.

I had spent a semester teaching at the NAU School of Communication, which was located in a fabulous new building with a stunning entry designated The First Amendment Plaza. The First Amendment was carved into a giant stainless steel sign that overlooked the amphitheater-style entrance to the building. I thought it would be a perfect place for a Libertarian to announce his run for national office, and called the school's director to schedule the space for my kickoff event.

He informed me that political speech is not permitted at The First Amendment Plaza.

H.T. Jeff G

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September 13, 2011

The old trouser eel

Eel removed from man's bladder after entering penis during beauty spa

Zhang Nan was bathing with live eels to cleanse his skin when one rogue serpent took a liking to his manhood.
Eel swims up penis China removed urethral trauma G. Vezhaventhan Abdominal Ultrasonogram Foreign object: The dead eel is placed next to the surgical tool used to remove it from Zhang Nan's bladder (Picture: CEN)

The eel treatment in question is a similar concept to the popular London spas that offer fish pedicures.

Thinking that the eels would make him look ten years younger, Nan dived into the water and let them feast upon layers of dead skin.

But after laying in the spa bath, Nan felt a sharp pain and realised a small eel was working its way up his urethra and into his bladder.

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September 09, 2011

Veinticuatro

Cuban man '24' proud of his 4 extra fingers, toes

BARACOA, Cuba (AP) — They call him "Twenty-Four."

Yoandri Hernandez Garrido's nickname comes from the six perfectly formed fingers on each of his hands and the six impeccable toes on each foot.

Hernandez is proud of his extra digits and calls them a blessing, saying they set him apart and enable him to make a living by scrambling up palm trees to cut coconuts and posing for photographs in this eastern Cuban city popular with tourists. One traveler paid $10 for a picture with him, Hernandez said, a bonanza in a country with an average salary of just $20 a month.

"It's thanks to my 24 digits that I'm able to make a living, because I have no fixed job," Hernandez said.

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September 06, 2011

Great price but, man, is it slow

South Carolina woman scammed thinking she bought iPad - but turned out to be block of wood

There's no app for that - but maybe a saw would help.

A South Carolina woman claims she purchased what she thought was an iPad, but it turned out to just be a block of painted wood with an Apple logo.

Ashley McDowell, 22, told officers from the Spartanburg County Sheriff's office that she was in a McDonald's parking lot Monday night when two men approached her and offered to sell her the glitzy tablet computer.

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September 02, 2011

Don't mess with Alaskans

Woman punches bear to save her dog

Black bears in residential neighborhoods aren't exactly unheard of in Juneau. While many people stay inside when bears are about, one local woman says she had a different instinct when she saw her dog was in trouble.

It started out as a typical evening for 22-year-old Brooke Collins. She let her dogs out as usual but this time, she said there was a black bear outside who took hold of her dachshund Fudge. She said she feared for her pet's life and, in an instant, ran over and punched the bear right in the face to make it let go.

Via The Agitator

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September 01, 2011

How to have an affordable wedding

Police: Pa. newlyweds shoplifted reception food

CENTRE HALL, Pa. (AP) — A couple of Pennsylvania newlyweds are behind bars after police say they were caught shoplifting food from a supermarket for their wedding reception.

The Centre Daily Times reports 32-year-old Arthur Phillips III and his bride, 22-year-old Brittany Lurch, were arrested Saturday after taking more than $1,000 in merchandise from a Wegmans supermarket in State College.

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August 31, 2011

Leg fake

Staff tricked into putting electronic tag on criminal prosthetic limb

TWO security firm workers have been sacked after being tricked into putting an electronic tag on a criminal's false leg.

Christopher Lowcock, 29, wrapped his prosthetic limb in a bandage and fooled workers at security services company G4S who failed to carry out the proper tests when they set up the tag and monitoring equipment at his home in Rochdale, England, the Rochdale Observer reported.

Lowcock could then simply remove his leg - and the tag - whenever he wanted to breach his court-imposed curfew for driving and drug offences, as well as possession of an offensive weapon.

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August 30, 2011

She knows the drill

Traveller pre-empts strip search by getting naked in line

A traveller at a Bermuda airport last week was tired of being strip-searched -- so she took all her clothes off right there in line.

"If you want to see me naked, you can do it right f***ing here," Loukai Phillips told customs officers at LF Wade International Airport, according to the island's Royal Gazette newspaper.

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August 29, 2011

It runs in the family (2)

From Canada's National Post:

B.C. woman hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose

Two sisters from the northwestern B.C. community of Kitimat have both had close encounters with moose on the loose.

A month ago, Yvonne Studley, 49, was badly injured when she hit a moose with her vehicle, so last Friday her sister decided to visit her in Vancouver General Hospital.

But sister Connie Everitt, 51, also hit a moose and ended up in hospital.

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August 26, 2011

Ouch! (6)

Paintball bursts breast implant

A woman is recovering after her breast implant burst when she was shot in the chest during a game of paintball.

The 26-year-old's soft gel implant ruptured under her skin when the ball hit her breast at 190mph, reports The Sun.

It's believed to the first time such an injury has happened in Britain.

It caused UK Paintball, which operates more than 50 facilities nationwide, to insist that women with breast implants wear extra chest protection.

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August 25, 2011

Turn about's fair play

Victims of Smoking Ban Cut Off Politicians
Lawmakers no longer welcome in bars and restaurants hurt by state smoking policy

Small bar owners angered over losing their butts to the statewide indoor smoking ban plan to give lawmakers the boot.

A newly formed group, Protect Private Property Rights in Michigan (PPPRM), has organized an effort to ban lawmakers from their establishments in protest against Michigan's smoking ban. This lawmaker ban is scheduled to start Sept. 1. PPPRM, which claims to have a membership of about 500 businesses, argues that the smoking ban has been disastrous for Michigan's small bar owners and their employees.

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August 23, 2011

Who wouldn't be honored?

This reminds me of the ballot initiative in San Francisco three years ago to rename a sewage plants for George W. Bush.

Honorary toilets? You read that right.

So it’s come to this: Legion Arts is accepting donations for unusual naming rights at its newly renovated CSPS hall in Cedar Rapids. Here’s the latest from an e-newsletter that went out this weekend. (I’ve underlined the key paragraph for your convenience and/or delight.)

“Thanks to a $4.8 million I-JOBS grant from the state and incredibly generous support from throughout the community, we’ve not found it necessary to attract donors by offering to name various features of the building in their honor.

Until now, that is.

So here’s the deal. I think it’s safe to say that few improvements at CSPS are likely to be more appreciated than the new toilets. Now you can connect yourself to this conspicuous improvement in a tangible way, while helping Legion Arts raise some much-needed operating dollars.

All told we have six shiny new pissoirs (urinals) and 15 sparkling new commodes (toilets). We’re selling the naming rights to each one for $1,000 a pop.

Here’s your chance to honor a loved one, a colleague, a favorite artist or yourself. Use your imagination. You could join with your neighbors to salute a beloved legislator or council representative. Express your respect for a teacher or mentor. Or go in together with a couple of co-workers to surprise your boss. The possibilities are endless.

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August 18, 2011

Who says it tastes like chicken?

Alligator Fat Could Fill Your Gas Tank and Fuel Renewable Resource Investment in the South
Tastes like chicken, runs like diesel

Every year, about 15 million pounds of alligator fat is dumped into landfills as a byproduct of alligator meat processing. It would certainly be better to reuse this gloopy mess for a greater purpose, no? As it turns out, alligator fat is a prime candidate for animal-derived biodiesel, according to researchers in Louisiana.

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August 16, 2011

Apparently it wasn't much of a handicap

Man charged with DUI after winning demolition derby

Moments after winning the demolition derby at the Jessamine County Fair Wednesday night, a man ended up being taken to jail.

Nicholasville Police say 36-year-old David Warner was drunk, so they charged him with DUI.

Police say during the demolition derby itself, they began receiving complaints about Warner, claiming he was under the influence.

As soon as the derby was over, police say they approached Warner as he got out of his car.

Police say Warner was staggering, and having trouble standing up straight.

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August 12, 2011

The good neighbor

I don't put a lot of stock in this story but it is pretty funny.

Pregnancy-fail.jpg

H.T. Jeff G

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August 11, 2011

The bottom lines

Nice pix at the link.

Boosting the bottom line: Beach volleyball stars to rent out advertising space on their bikini-clad behinds

Britain's female beach volleyball champions are renting out their rears in an advertising deal that encourages spectators to photograph their behinds.

Zara Dampney, 24, and Shauna Mullin, 26, have turned their bottoms into their bottom line by wearing bikini briefs with a Quick Response (QR) code printed on the back where it will catch the eye of spectators.

When photographed on a smartphone, the code takes the user to a specific website - in this case, for bookmakers Betfair.

Via

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August 09, 2011

Don't mess with a St. Louis mom

A Plane Saying "Thanks For The Downgrade, You Should All Be Fired" Flew Over The S&P Building Tuesday

At about 11:30 AM on Tuesday, a plane flew by the S&P offices in New York dragging a banner behind it saying:

"THANKS FOR THE DOWNGRADE. YOU SHOULD ALL BE FIRED."

Awesome.

If you know who's behind it, email us.

UPDATE: It was a lady broker named Lucy Nobbe who hired the plane, according to the Daily. She's a VP for the brokerage side of Wedbush, an investment bank.

From Fortune:

[The woman who sent the plan is a] Midwestern investment banker broker who woke up last night with the need to vent at those who she believes are leading the nation into an economic morass.

"I originally wanted to fly it over Washington, D.C., but learned that you can't do that," says the broker, who asked to remain anonymous for job security reasons [but later told The Daily her name]. "So I chose Wall Street instead, but didn't specifically intend it to fly over S&P. I'm just a mother from St. Louis who feels the only reason we got downgraded was people in politics."

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August 08, 2011

Priceless (3)

If You're Going to Falsely Tell Cops a Guy Sexually Assaulted You, Don't Get Caught on Camera Announcing Your Plans

"Gotcha" moments don't come more classic than the one that happened in Montgomery County recently.

The Sheriff's Office blotter says two officers were called to an apartment to investigate a sexual assault.

"The alleged victim stated to the deputies that her 26-year-old male friend had sexually assaulted her," the report says.

Fair enough, and with that friend standing in the same apartment, no big manhunt needed.

Not so fast: "Upon further investigation the deputies watched a video recording the male had made that showed the female telling him that she was calling the police because he was making her leave the apartment and she would tell the police he assaulted her."

That must have been some look on the woman's face when the dude hit "play."

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August 04, 2011

A story just begging for some C & W lyrics

Desperate, sick Indonesians use railroad 'therapy'

JAKARTA, Indonesia (AP) - Ignoring the red-and-white danger sign, Sri Mulyati walks slowly to the train tracks outside Indonesia's bustling capital, lies down and stretches her body across the rails.

Like the nearly dozen others lined up along the track, the 50-year-old diabetes patient has all but given up on doctors and can't afford the expensive medicines they prescribe.

In her mind, she has only one option left: electric therapy.

"I'll keep doing this until I'm completely cured," said Mulyati, twitching visibly as an oncoming passenger train sends an extra rush of current racing through her body.

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July 29, 2011

The NRA-PETA nexus

Mandi doesn't sound your typical any-type-of-person. And she'd be really hot with a little less lipstick. Check it.

50 Most Beautiful People for 2011

Mandi Critchfield is not your usual Republican aide. For one thing, Sen. Mike Crapo's (R-Idaho) press secretary is a member of People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) and the National Rifle Association (NRA). For another, she's an enthusiastic Star Wars and Star Trek fan — as evidenced by her choice of a Star Wars T-shirt for The Hill's 50 Most Beautiful People photo shoot.

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July 28, 2011

Professional queuers

China's Professional Queuers Paid To Stand Around

In China, waiting in line sometimes feels like a competitive sport. The overnight queue at the launch of Apple's iPad 2 pales in comparison to the epic waits for certain over-subscribed state-run services.

Earlier this month, people waited four days and three nights to register for low-income housing in the central city of Xian, while admission to a certain Beijing kindergarten in Changping last year required a week-long, round-the-clock queue, for which people set up camp beds along the pavement.

But as with most things, one pragmatic Chinese entrepreneur has found a business opportunity out of adversity.

For the past two years, Li Qicai, 28, has made a career out of waiting in line. What's more, he now outsources the waiting to others. He employs four full-time queuers and a host of freelancers, who, for a cost of about $3 an hour, will do the waiting for you.

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July 27, 2011

I guess he had no forks

Glendale Man Tries to Remove Hernia Using Butter Knife

GLENDALE, Calif. (KTLA) -- A Glendale man is hospitalized in stable condition after police say he tried to perform surgery on himself -- using a butter knife!

The 63 year-old man, whose name is not being released, was trying to remove a protruding hernia from his stomach using a six inch butter knife, Glendale police Sgt. Tom Lorenz tells KTLA.

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July 25, 2011

Dumb and dumber

Men Driving Stolen Car Ask Police for Directions

PALM SPRINGS-- The desert may have some new contenders for the "dumbest criminal" award: Cops say two men driving a stolen car were caught after stopping to ask police for directions. [...]

When the police officer ran the license plate of the car, it returned stolen out of Riverside, about 60 miles west of Palm Springs, said Long.

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July 22, 2011

Ouch! (5)

Man dumped by fiancee after selling kidney for £12k to buy engagement ring

A MAN sold a kidney for £12,300 and spent the cash on an engagement ring for his lover – only for her to dump him in the Ukraine.

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July 21, 2011

How to annoy a sausage maker

If Only Laws Were Like Sausages

LANDOVER, Md. — In defending their work, members of Congress love to repeat a quotation attributed to Otto von Bismarck: "If you like laws and sausages, you should never watch either one being made."

In other words, the legislative process, though messy and sometimes unappetizing, can produce healthy, wholesome results.

But a visit to a sausage factory here, about 10 miles from the Capitol, suggests that Bismarck and today's politicians are mistaken. In many ways, that quotation is offensive to sausage makers; their process is better controlled and more predictable.

"I'm so insulted when people say that lawmaking is like sausage making," said Stanley A. Feder, president of Simply Sausage, whose plant here turns out 60,000 pounds of links a year.

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July 19, 2011

Don't do him any favors

Colorado murderer suing because prison guards saved his life despite do not resuscitate order

DENVER — A convicted murderer is suing the state of Colorado for saving his life after his heart stopped beating.

Daniel Self says he suffers from sleep apnea and he ordered prison guards not to resuscitate him if he stopped breathing. The 54-year-old says in a lawsuit filed in federal court that prison officials were deliberately indifferent to his right to refuse medical treatment when he stopped breathing in 2009.

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July 18, 2011

Boys will be boys

It's a nice-looking statue - based on the famous photo. Check it out at the link.

Marilyn Monroe statue unveiled on Chicago's Magnificent Mile

It's true, Chicago. The top half of the "mysterious" 26-foot sculpture on Michigan Avenue was unveiled Friday to be Marilyn Monroe.

There was speculation earlier this week about whether the iconic legs − complete with flowing skirt blown up by a subway grate − belonged to the Hollywood starlet


Members of the Hugh and Anya Nguyen wedding party pose under Seward Johnson's 26-foot-tall sculpture of Marilyn Monroe on Friday in Chicago.

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Ten years of effort pay off

Man gets sick benefits for heavy metal addiction

A Swedish heavy metal fan has had his musical preferences officially classified as a disability. The results of a psychological analysis enable the metal lover to supplement his income with state benefits.

Roger Tullgren, 42, from Hässleholm in southern Sweden has just started working part time as a dishwasher at a local restaurant.

Because heavy metal dominates so many aspects of his life, the Employment Service has agreed to pay part of Tullgren's salary. His new boss meanwhile has given him a special dispensation to play loud music at work.

"I have been trying for ten years to get this classified as a handicap," Tullgren told The Local.

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July 15, 2011

Georgia Chopsticks

Import Irony: China Buys Its Chopsticks From A Small Georgia Town

It seems everything we buy these days says "Made in China." But millions of the Asian nation's iconic chopsticks are proudly made in the U.S.A.

Two hours south of Atlanta lies the source of millions of Chinese chopsticks. Who would have thought? It's hard to imagine a place more quintessentially red, white and blue – the town, nestled firmly in the heartland of Georgia, is called Americus.

And their luck runs as deep as their love for country: Americus has the ideal type of wood for making chopsticks. The abundant forests of poplar and sweet gum trees in the area strike the perfect balance between hardness and softness, making a comfortable yet sturdy eating utensil for many across the world.

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July 13, 2011

Revenge is sweet (3)

A wee bit of revenge! Homeowner shames those using his street as a public toilet... by filming them and posting them on YouTube

An angry homeowner is using the power of the internet to shame drunken yobs who use his street as a public toilet.

Harry Monk became so fed up with louts urinating outside his home he began recording them in the act and posting the clips on YouTube in a bid to shame them.

The 46-year-old tree surgeon said late night drinking licenses being introduced near his home has brought crowds of revellers relieve themselves in the street.

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July 12, 2011

High times

Denver Newspaper Hires Professional Pot Critic

Denver is at the peak of a citywide pot boom.

It all started after the U.S. Attorney General's office — in a shift of policy since the Bush administration — announced in 2009 that it would not prosecute marijuana users if their state permits use of the drug for medical reasons.

"It just blew up from there," William Breathes tells Weekends On All Things Considered host Guy Raz. [...]

So Breathes — employed by Westword, Denver's weekly alternative newspaper — became perhaps the first professional marijuana critic in the country. William Breathes is his pen name, of course. Like a food critic, he remains anonymous to the businesses he reviews.

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July 07, 2011

There's a case for that

How about a beer with your iPhone?

(Reuters) - You can do a lot with an iPhone these days -- text, take pictures, surf the net, and even make a phone call.

And soon, thanks to two Australian entrepreneurs, you will be able use it to open a bottle of beer by way of the "Opena," a hard plastic case that fits over the iPhone and is equipped with a slide-out bottle opener.

"Basically, Australians are fairly heavy drinkers, as you may or may not know," said Melbourne-based Chris Peters, an industrial designer who developed the product with Rob Ward, a former toolmaker.

This reminds me of a project I worked on back in the 90s. It was based on Apple's Newton. Someone who worked there (but who wasn't involved in the Newton project) told us, "You know, your users will find that really useful... if you put a bottle-opener on it."

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July 06, 2011

She knows how to drive a stick

McDonald’s crash

BATH TWP.: A Copley Township man is accused of being drunk and crashing his pickup truck into a McDonald’s drive-through menu board. [...]

According to officer Dan Reilly’s report, a 2001 Chevrolet pickup entered the restaurant parking lot from the wrong direction and struck the menu board, a speaker and another vehicle with two people inside.

A test showed Sherbert’s blood-alcohol level at 0.121 percent. According to police, Sherbert told officers he had had four drinks at a bar and was receiving oral sex from a woman who was actually driving his truck.

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June 30, 2011

My first reaction was, "Thank goodness!"

Deputies: 'There Is No Poop Fairy'

JEFFERSON COUNTY, Colo. -- Jefferson County is kicking off a public service campaign to remind dog owners that there is no poop fairy, and owners must clean up after their dogs.

From July 9 to 17, Animal Control will be out encouraging dog owners to pick up after their dogs in parks, trails and neighborhoods.

Volunteers will be wearing blue "poop fairy" T-shirts as they greet park users. There will also be signs and displays telling dog owners that the poop fairy doesn't exist.

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June 28, 2011

TMI, Mom

Brady Bunch mom got crabs in affair with NY mayor

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – This would have made an interesting episode of "The Brady Bunch."

Florence Henderson, the actress who played perky mom Carol Brady in the beloved family sitcom, says she once got crabs after a one-night-stand with career politician John Lindsay, who was the mayor of New York City at the time.

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June 24, 2011

The urge to merge

was evidently overwhelming.

Young couple arrested for 'having sex on the beach in full view of 50 people at restaurant'

It wasn't quite the sunset view the customers at Caddy's restaurant had in mind.

A young couple were arrested after allegedly having sex on the beach in Treasure Island, Florida, in front of 50 people - including children.

Erica Huerta, 21, and Steven Douglas, 22, were each charged with one count of lewd and lascivious exhibition after reportedly spending half-an-hour engaged in various sexual acts 100 feet from the restaurant. [...]

The incident took place at around 7.30pm on Monday, and according to the affidavit both Huerta and Douglas had been drinking heavily.

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June 22, 2011

Why they put blinders on horses

Amish Sexter Sought Buggy Sex With Girl, 12

JUNE 21--An Amish man who sent hundreds of sexually charged text messages to a 12-year-old girl was arrested last week when he drove a horse and buggy to an Indiana restaurant where he had arranged a rendezvous with the child, according to police. [...]

In one text, Yoder told the girl that, "the proposed sex act would happen inside the buggy," according to a Connersville Police Department report.

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June 20, 2011

Fried Kool-Aid

Fried Kool-Aid a fair hit, creator says

DEL MAR — The deep-fried Kool-Aid is selling like deep-fried hot cakes, according to their famed creator, "Chicken" Charlie Boghosian.

Chicken Charlie's is a staple of fried rations at fairs across the country. It sold 400 to 600 orders of deep-fried Kool-Aid per day the first weekend of the San Diego County Fair. That's about double the rate of previous debut items, Boghosian said.

"That's because it tastes so darn good," Boghosian said of the Kool-Aid.

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June 17, 2011

Make sure it's well done

Japan scientist synthesizes meat from human feces

Somehow this feels like a Vonnegut plotline: population boom equals food shortage. Solution? Synthesize food from human waste matter. Absurd yes, but Japanese scientists have actually discovered a way to create edible steaks from human feces.

Mitsuyuki Ikeda, a researcher from the Okayama Laboratory, has developed steaks based on proteins from human excrement. Tokyo Sewage approached the scientist because of an overabundance of sewage mud. They asked him to explore the possible uses of the sewage and Ikeda found that the mud contained a great deal of protein because of all the bacteria.

Update: How it works

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June 15, 2011

All in the family

Timaru police nab drink-drive family

It must have set a record, but it's one a South Canterbury family would surely much rather not have, after three of them were booked for drink-driving on the same night.

The saga began about 12.15am on Saturday when a 15-year-old boy was stopped and arrested for drink-driving on State Highway 1 near Pareora. He blew 529 micrograms per litre of breath, more than three and a half times the youth limit.

The teenager was taken to the Timaru police station for processing, where his mother was called to collect him. She was subsequently stopped and arrested for drink-driving on Craigie Ave at about 2.14am, after blowing 776 mcg, nearly twice the adult limit of 400.

But it wasn't over there.

The woman then rang her partner to come and pick them both up. He was stopped and arrested on North St at about 3am, when he blew 559mcg.

Via

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June 14, 2011

Will the real lesbian bloggers please stand up?

Following up on yesterday's post.

2nd lesbian blogger revealed as man

LONDON – The hoax involving the true identity of a Syrian lesbian blogger has taken another turn, as another man has acknowledged he is behind a lesbian blog that republished vivid accounts of revolt in Damascus. [...]

Later Monday, The Washington Post reported that an editor of lesbian news website Lezgetreal.com — who encouraged Arraf and republished her blog entries — was a man named Bill Graber who used the name Paula Brooks as an online persona.

Graber confirmed his identity to The Associated Press, saying "LezGetReal was not meant to be deceitful or con anyone."

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June 13, 2011

Out of the closet

Syrian lesbian blogger is revealed conclusively to be a married man

Tom MacMaster's wife has confirmed in an email to the Guardian that he is the real identity behind the Gay Girl in Damascus blog

The mysterious identity of a young Arab lesbian blogger who was apparently kidnapped last week in Syria has been revealed conclusively to be a hoax. The blogs were written not by a gay girl in Damascus, but a middle-aged American man based in Scotland.

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June 10, 2011

I scream, you scream

The cicadas have been swarming here for the last week or so. I didn't know they're edible (not that knowing makes any difference).

Cicada ice cream bugs health officials in Missouri: Why?

(CBS/AP) Cicada-flavored ice cream proved to be a big hit with customers of an ice cream shop in Columbia, Mo. But health officials were so bugged by the stuff that they told the creative thinkers at Sparky's Homemade Ice Cream to cool it.

Sparky's contacted the health department after it sold out of its only batch of the insect-filled snack within hours of its June 1 debut. Employees had collected the bugs in their backyards, then boiled them and coated them in brown sugar and milk chocolate before adding them to the ice cream. What did they do with the wings? Some were removed, but some were left in to give the ice cream a satisfying crunch.

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June 09, 2011

We gotta criminalize something!

Connecticut Decriminalizes Real Pot, Criminalizes Fake Pot

Today the Connecticut House of Representatives approved a bill, passed by the state Senate two days ago and endorsed by Gov. Dannel Malloy, that makes possessing less than 14 grams (about half an ounce) of marijuana a "noncriminal violation" punishable by a $150 fine. By the time the House acted, the Senate had moved on to another piece of drug legislation, voting unanimously to make possession of synthetic marijuana punishable by a $1,000 fine and up to a year in jail. "For the life of me," said Senate Republican Leader John McKinney, "I don't know how I'm going to explain to my constituents one penalty for the fake pot and another for the real pot." The bill also bans salvia divinorum.

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June 08, 2011

Make cupcakes, not war

British spies to terrorists: make cupcakes not war

LONDON (AP) — Britain's spy agencies have a new message for terrorists: make cupcakes, not war.

Intelligence agents managed to hack into the extremist Inspire magazine, replacing its bombmaking instructions with a recipe for cupcakes. [...]

The quarterly online magazine, which is sent to websites and email addresses as a pdf file, had offered an original page titled "Make a Bomb in the Kitchen of Your Mom" in one of its editions last year. The magazine's pages were corrupted, however, and the instructions replaced with the cupcake recipe.

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June 07, 2011

Well, duh (4)

'Breastaurants' Ring Up Big Profits

Restaurants that woo men with attractive waitresses, big beer selections & giant TVs are winning loyal customers--and raking in revenues.

Franchises inspired by the Hooters model--such as Celtic-themed sports bar chain Tilted Kilt Pub & Eatery and faux mountain sports lodge chain Twin Peaks--have expanded rapidly over the last half decade, while corporate-owned chains like Brick House Tavern + Tap and Bone Daddy's House of Smoke are picking up steam regionally. In fact, for the next couple of years, this segment (often referred to as "breastaurants") is poised to be one of the fastest-growing restaurant categories.

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June 06, 2011

Her cups runneth over

All I want for my wedding is... a breast enlargement: Bride asked her guests to contribute towards plastic surgery

Most wedding lists contain the usual mix of crockery, sheets and electrical appliances - or the happy couple perhaps asks for some money towards their honeymoon.

But Louise and Les Hampson aren't like most couples. Instead of asking for gits [sic], they asked their 200 guests to contribute towards a new pair of breasts for the bride.

Now, after raising 2,000-pounds, 33-year-old Louise has had the cosmetic surgery she craved.

Her new implants have boosted her bust from a 32D to a 32DD.

She told a magazine: 'My wonderful wedding guests have given me the greatest boost to my married life - new boobs for the blushing bride!'

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June 02, 2011

But it was vicious

Cops in Independence shoot gator; find out it's lawn ornament

INDEPENDENCE, Mo. • Police responding to an alligator sighting in a suburban Kansas City pond took quick action to dispatch the big reptile.

It wasn't until after the second rifle shot bounced off the beast Sunday that the three Independence officers realized it was a concrete lawn ornament. [...]

Gentry says the landowner told officers he put the fake gator there to keep children off his property.

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May 31, 2011

Who's next?

I wouldn't want to be a weatherman in Italy.

Italian Seismologists Charged With Manslaughter for Not Predicting 2009 Quake

Italian government officials have accused the country's top seismologist of manslaughter, after failing to predict a natural disaster that struck Italy in 2009, a massive devastating earthquake that killed 308 people.

A shocked spokesman for the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) likened the accusations to a witch hunt.

"It has a medieval flavor to it -- like witches are being put on trial," the stunned spokesman told FoxNews.com.

Enzo Boschi, the president of Italy's National Institute of Geophysics and Volcanology (INGV), will face trial along with six other scientists and technicians, after failing to predict the future and the impending disaster.

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May 27, 2011

Exploding watermelons

China farmers face 'exploding' watermelon problem

Farmers in eastern China have been left perplexed after their watermelons began to explode one by one.

An investigation by state media found farms in Jiangsu province were losing acres of fruit because of the problem.

The overuse of a chemical that helps fruit grow faster was blamed in one report by China Central Television.

But agriculture experts were unable to explain why chemical-free melons were exploding. They cited the weather and abnormal size of the melon as factors.

China Central Television said farmers were overspraying their crops with the growth promoter, hoping they could get their fruit to market ahead of the peak season and increase their profits.

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May 26, 2011

Guess who won't be reading this post

Meet the woman allergic to electricity

A British woman cannot use an electric kettle, keeps her washing machine in a concrete outhouse and cannot have neighbours with wireless internet because she is allergic to electricity.

Janice Tunnicliffe spends every night playing Scrabble by candlelight with her husband because she claims to have a rare condition called electrosensitivity.

She cannot bear to be anywhere near electromagnetic fields of any kind and, as a result, she cannot watch television, listen to the radio or talk on a mobile phone and has been left completely isolated from the modern world by her condition.

Mrs Tunnicliffe, 55, was struck down with the illness after receiving chemotherapy for bowel cancer three years ago.

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May 24, 2011

How to slice a pizza

POLICE: Louisville woman pulls sword at Pizza Hut

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (WDRB Fox 41) -- Police say a woman involved in an argument at a Louisville Pizza Hut raised the stakes considerably when she tried to pull a sword. [...]

According to an arrest report, police were called to the restaurant after they received reports that 29-year-old Wynika Mason was "causing trouble." When they got there, she allegedly began yelling at the officers.

An employee told the officers that, shortly before they arrived, Mason began yelling at him and told him that she had a sword on her person. The employee said that Mason, "began to raise it out of the sheath" when her brother seized it from her and put it in their vehicle outside.

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May 23, 2011

Markets in everything (10)

Hop to it: half-price jugs for 4 rabbits

A Wanaka bar has taken to helping deal with Central Otago's rabbit plague by offering half-price beer to patrons who bring in dead rabbits.

Bullock Bar manager Margo Johnston said the bar would offer half-price jugs to anyone who brought in four rabbits to the bar tomorrow.

The idea for the promotion come about not only because the rabbits were a pest in the area but because the New Zealand Warriors were playing the Sydney Rabbitohs in a rugby league match, Ms Johnston said,

"Hopefully it will eradicate a few rabbits from Central Otago farmland," she said.

Unlike the Alexandra Easter Bunny Hunt, where some of the dead rabbits were buried in residential land, the dead rabbits were expected to be turned into dog food.


Via

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May 22, 2011

OK, back to making the beds

Make My Bed? But You Say the World's Ending

The Haddad children of Middletown, Md., have a lot on their minds: school projects, SATs, weekend parties. And parents who believe the earth will begin to self-destruct on Saturday.

The three teenagers have been struggling to make sense of their shifting world, which started changing nearly two years ago when their mother, Abby Haddad Carson, left her job as a nurse to "sound the trumpet" on mission trips with her husband, Robert, handing out tracts. They stopped working on their house and saving for college. [...]

“I have mixed feelings,” Ms. Haddad Carson said. “I’m very excited about the Lord’s return, but I’m fearful that my children might get left behind. But you have to accept God’s will.”

The children, however, have found something to giggle over. “She’ll say, ‘You need to clean up your room,’ ” Grace said. “And I’ll say, ‘Mom, it doesn’t matter, if the world’s going to end!’ ”

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May 19, 2011

Planking

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News from Chicago

Woman missing since she got lost

Police are looking for a 25-year-old Rogers Park woman last heard from after getting lost last week while heading to a Near West Side nightclub.

Irma Sabanovic left her home in the 1900 block of West Hood Avenue on May 12 with the intention of going to the Exit nightclub near Elston and North, a missing persons alert from Belmont Area Special Victims Unit detectives said.

At 2 a.m., she texted a male friend that she was lost near Milwaukee and Erie. That was the last communication from Sabanovic, the alert said.

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May 17, 2011

Special dispensation

Brazilian Woman Wins Right To Masturbate At Work

Ana Catarian Bezerra is a 36-year-old Brazilian woman who suffers from a chemical imbalance that triggers severe anxiety and hypersexuality. Ana, an accountant by day, began to have problems at work because the only way to relieve said anxiety is by masturbating. A lot. Now, after winning a court battle and seeking professional medical help, Ana is allowed to masturbate and watch porn — using her work's computer, no less — legally.

Ana wasn't always like this, she was worse:

"I got so bad I would to masturbate up to forty seven-times a day. That's when I asked for help, I knew it wasn't normal."

Via

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May 15, 2011

Michael!

Forgotten Michael Jackson photos could power the world, inventor says

Los Angeles (CNN) -- A Los Angeles inventor who photographed Michael Jackson 33 years ago hopes those images will now help launch an electric motor he claims could solve the world's energy problems.

Reginald Garcia will use cash from the sale of 130 unpublished Jackson photos to fund testing of the motor, which he claims generates more electricity than it uses. Garcia is in the process of getting the photos appraised and prepared for sale.

H.T. Paul B.

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May 12, 2011

Hell hath no fury (3)

Staten Island mom 'hit' boyfriend over head with cooking pot

Maybe he should buy flowers next time.

A Staten Island mom allegedly whacked her baby daddy over the head with a cooking pot yesterday -- because she was furious that he hadn't bought her a Mother's Day gift.

"I hit him with a pot, and I'm glad I did!" a steamed Aretavia Kimbrough, 28, allegedly told cops after nailing boyfriend Charmean Allen, 28, with the pot, leaving him with a 4-inch gash and a big lump on his head.

"I've been with him for seven years, and he never bought me nothing! "

But Allen, who has an 8-month-old son with Kimbrough, later insisted to The Post, "I was going to get her balloons and candy and take her to dinner.

"But I can't take her to dinner because the police aren't releasing her."

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May 11, 2011

Drive-by advertising

In-car projection for drive-by advertising

DRIVERS are already bombarded with advertising on billboards and vehicles. Now even car windows could become part of the advertisers' canvas.

Wallen Mphepö of the Beijing Normal University in China has come up with a way to turn car windows into billboards that could be used to display dynamic adverts and public safety messages.

Mphepö has developed a polymer film that can be attached to a window to act as a kind of screen, picking up images projected from inside the vehicle and transmitting them to viewers outside through a series of microscopic mirror-like structures. Thin vertical strips of clear film in between these structures allow the driver to see through the window as normal, Mphepö says.

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May 10, 2011

BAMF cat

Man airlifted after fight with cat

A Cleveland man was attacked by a housecat Friday afternoon and the man's injuries are so severe that he had to be taken by air ambulance to Memorial Hermann Hospital in Houston. [...]

At some point during the attack, the man and the cat reportedly were injured by a knife the man was holding. The man was taken to Cleveland Regional Medical Center before being transported to Houston.

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May 09, 2011

Artisanal urinals

Photos at the link.

Victoria's $60k open-air urinal 'an attraction in itself'

Canada's battle against public urination has a monument, and it stands in Victoria, B.C.

Prominently located just across the street from one of the city's premier theatre venues stands the first of many artisanal urinals designed to rid Victoria's alleys and alcoves of the unwanted stench of urine.

The $60,000 facility isn't so much a bathroom appliance as a piece of public art.

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May 05, 2011

Not quite Escape

Canadian man's online date turns out to be his girlfriend

A Canadian man's attempts to meet up with a woman he met online have gone horribly wrong after his date turned out to be his own girlfriend.

Barrie police said the 49-year-old woman turned up at a local coffee shop at the weekend at the arranged time and proceeded to throw coffee in her boyfriend's face before slapping him.

An off duty police officer then arrested the woman and called for assistance. Local press claim the woman is currently awaiting a bail hearing.

Take it, Rupert...

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May 03, 2011

What's the RFC for sharing mono?

Japanese boffins build internet kissing machine

Researches in Japan are hard at work developing an internet-enabled kissing simulator that will allow lovers – or perfect strangers – to reach out and buss someone.

"This device is for communications within the mouth," researcher Nobuhiro Takahashi of the Kajimoto Laboratory at The University of Electro-Communications in Tokyo told DigInfo TV. "In other words, the goal is to obtain the feeling of kissing."

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May 01, 2011

It's a tough job

City Workers Make Porn Film While on the Job

City officials failed to discipline two traffic officers who appeared in a pornographic film while on the job, NBC4 LA has found.

The Los Angeles Department of Transportation has opened an investigation into the behavior of two uniformed, on-duty officers who appear in the sexually explicit movie. The investigation was prompted by the NBC4 LA exposé.

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April 25, 2011

Positive feedback

"This is quite amusing," says Ms M. Follow the link and read the whole post. It's not too long.

Amazon's $23,698,655.93 book about flies

A few weeks ago a postdoc in my lab logged on to Amazon to buy the lab an extra copy of Peter Lawrence's The Making of a Fly – a classic work in developmental biology that we – and most other Drosophila developmental biologists – consult regularly. The book, published in 1992, is out of print. But Amazon listed 17 copies for sale: 15 used from $35.54, and 2 new from $1,730,045.91 (+$3.99 shipping).

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April 22, 2011

Special in aisle 3

Shoppers surprised when man falls through Missouri grocery ceiling

LEE'S SUMMIT, Mo. People at a suburban Kansas City grocery store got quite a surprise while looking for bargains.

Lee's Summit police say a man in his 20s fell through the ceiling of a Cosentino's Price Chopper Thursday evening.

After he dropped into the store, he ran into a nearby business and asked for help. Then he ran away. Officers caught him and he was treated for injuries at a hospital.

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April 21, 2011

A wood-fired El Camino

I'm thinking this car's too top-heavy to corner very well - but it's a tour de force nonetheless.

The Finnish-built, wood-burning El Camino

Truth is stranger than fiction, or so the saying goes. And I could not make this story up if I tried. A Finnish politician has converted his American-built El Camino to run on woodgas. How's that for awesome?

Juhas Sipilä's 1987 El Camino, affectionately dubbed "El Kamina" (The Stove), features a very steampunk-like woodgas generator taking up about half of the truckbed

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Petite lap giraffes

From Russia's finest purveyor. Video at the site.

Lap-giraffe.jpg

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April 20, 2011

Easy fishin'

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April 19, 2011

Red-faced about a green light

Traffic light sex couple leaves town baffled

Red-faced traffic bosses are investigating how pranksters altered a set of pedestrian lights to show a couple making love whenever they turned green.

The lights - in Nimwegen, Holland - literally stopped the traffic when passers by stopped to gawp at them during rush hour.

One officer said: 'People kept pressing the button to see the couple having sex and of course every time they did, the traffic had to stop suddenly. We had quite a lot of rear end shunts from drivers who were too distracted.'

Via

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April 15, 2011

Location, location, location (3)

A cop's gotta eat, right?

Seattle cops look for Aurora speeders -- at Krispy Kreme

In three hours Thursday morning, police gave 120 tickets as part of a speeding patrol in North Seattle.

More than 50 Seattle police personnel were working Aurora Avenue North and joined by six State Patrol troopers and three teams from the State Liquor Control Board.

The police command center was established at North 125th Street and Aurora Avenue North – an intersection that's home to Krispy Kreme Doughnuts.

The emphasis was expected to continue all day.

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April 14, 2011

Now he'll be on the offenders' registry

Portage teen uses girl's nude photo as threat for not getting sax

A Portage High School student is facing a charge of possessing child pornography after a fellow student accused him of threatening to post a nude picture of her if she didn't give him her saxophone, according to Portage police.

The incident came to light Friday when the girl, a freshman, told Principal Caren Swickard about the threat.

The boy in question, who is not being named, told Swickard and Portage Police Officer Troy Williams that his saxophone broke and the band director told him that because the girl didn't use hers, to have her give him her saxophone, police said.

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April 13, 2011

Breakfast o' champions (2)

Experts' breakfast beer worry

It's nicknamed the "breakfast beer" but alcohol watchdogs are hoping a new Kiwi brew to be launched early on a weekday morning is nothing but a fizzer.

The cherry-flavoured, wheat lager by Marlborough brewery Moa is described as "a beer the ladies can enjoy too ... if you're having a champagne breakfast but don't fancy champagne, have a beer instead".

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April 12, 2011

Hunting copper

Pensioner in Georgia cuts Armenia off from internet

An elderly woman in Georgia is facing a prison sentence after reportedly causing internet services in neighbouring Armenia to crash.

The country found itself offline for hours on 28 March after cables linking Georgia to Armenia were damaged.

A Georgian interior ministry spokesman said a 75-year-old woman had admitted damaging fibre-optic cables while scavenging for copper. [...]

She had been searching for copper in the Georgian village of Ksani.

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April 09, 2011

At the Chillicothe fire station

From Ohio:

Fire station a potential fire hazard

One Chillicothe firefighter has new job duties on each shift - walking around the firehouse to make sure the place isn't on fire.

Chillicothe Fire Station No.1, the only one staffed in the city following budget cuts, is officially considered a potential fire hazard.

The fire-detection and alarm system at the main station downtown on Water Street hasn't worked for at least a year, perhaps longer. And, the sprinkler system had not been inspected.

To avoid being ordered to vacate its only station, the department now must assign firefighters - who can perform no other duties - to a 24/7 "fire watch."

The state fire marshal's office put the fire department on notice last week that it must correct three fire-code violations or face fines of up to $1,000 per violation per day.

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April 07, 2011

Placebo surgery

This news is a little dated, but I didn't know they did double-blind studies of surgical efficacy. How do they explain to someone that he had a 'sham operation'?

Common spine surgery ineffective in two studies

BOSTON, Aug 5 (Reuters) - A common spine operation for relieving back pain is no more effective than make-believe surgery, two teams reported in the New England Journal of Medicine.

The technique, called vertebroplasty, involves injecting medical cement into a fractured spine bone to strengthen it. More than 38,000 such procedures are done in the United States every year and the number has been increasingly rapidly, nearly doubling from 2001 to 2005.

"We had hoped this treatment might get the pain better quicker, but we couldn't demonstrate that," said Rachelle Buchbinder of Monash University in Malvern, Australia, whose group found that 36 volunteers who received sham surgery did just as well as 35 who got the real operation.

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April 05, 2011

Jumpers

'Jumpers' offered big money to brave nuke work

TOKYO — It's a job that sounds too good to be true — thousands of dollars for up to an hour of work that often requires little training.

But it also sounds too outrageous to accept, given the full job description: working in perilously radioactive environments.

In its attempts to bring under control its radiation-gushing nuclear power plant that was severely damaged by last month's massive earthquake and tsunami, Tokyo Electric Power Co. (TEPCO) is trying to get workers ever closer to the sources of stubborn radiation at the plant and end the world's worst nuclear crisis since Chernobyl.

Workers are reportedly being offered hazard pay to work in the damaged reactors of up to $5,000 per day — or more accurately, a fraction of a day, since the radiation-drenched shifts must be drastically restricted.

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April 04, 2011

Good things come in threes

It's granddaughters galore for St. Cloud couple, who welcome 3 in 3 days

Three sisters, Melissa Valen, Michele Orth and Katie Larson, (back left to right) gave birth within one day of each other, making their parents, Mike and Joan Benda, proud grandparents again.

Mike and Joan Benda's St. Cloud home buzzed with children Saturday.

Three toddlers squealed as they ran through their grandparents' home. Meanwhile, three tiny newborn granddaughters slept, oblivious to the laughter that surrounded them.

This family grew quickly. The Bendas welcomed three granddaughters in three days this month from their three daughters.

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April 01, 2011

Miracle beer

XXXX beer brings horse back from the dead after bout of colic

IT sounds like a load of XXXX but beer saved this horse's life.

Diamond Mojo, a six-year-old Australian waler, had been given up for dead by his owner Steve Clibborn after being struck down with a bout of potentially deadly colic.

So, as desperate men do in desperate times, Steve turned to the bottle not for himself, but for his horse.

"I had pretty much kissed him goodbye," he said.

"I had spent 23 hours straight with him but nothing worked and then I remembered an old bush tale that said you could feed them beer.

"I don't know whether I really believed it or not but it was worth a shot and as soon as he had that beer, he burped and perked right up. So I gave him another couple."

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March 25, 2011

Wouldja look at that!

Naked shower protest causes car crash

A Los Angeles motorist crashed his car while distracted by two naked women taking a shower by the side of the road.

The women were activists for animal rights pressure group Peta who were showering in public in Hollywood to make a point on World Water Day.

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March 24, 2011

Ya think?

Manhattan Federal Judge Kimba Wood Calls Record Companies' Request for $75 Trillion in Damages 'Absurd' in Lime Wire Copyright Case

Does $75 trillion even exist? The thirteen record companies that are suing file-sharing company Lime Wire for copyright infringement certainly thought so. When they won a summary judgment ruling last May they demanded damages that could reach this mind-boggling amount, which is more than five times the national debt.

Manhattan federal district court judge Kimba Wood, however, saw things differently. She labeled the record companies' damages request "absurd" and contrary to copyright laws in a 14-page opinion.

Via

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March 23, 2011

A good man with a blade

Philadelphia Breast Surgeon Moonlights as Knife Thrower

Meet Dr. Ted Eisenberg, holder of the world record for the most breast surgeries performed in a lifetime.

Rest assured, ladies -- you're probably in safe hands.

Not content with handling scalpels all day, in his spare time Eisenberg is a competitive knife thrower.

Inspired by fictional Australian outback hero Crocodile Dundee and James Bond movies, the Philadelphia surgeon is a delicate artist by day who relaxes after hours with tomahawks and hunting knives.

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March 22, 2011

That good old liquid lunch

Man Brings Beer to DWI Court Appearance

A 49-year-old man is in Sullivan County Jail without bail after authorities say he showed up for a court hearing on a felony DWI charge drunk and carrying an open can of Busch beer, plus four more cans in a bag.

The Middletown Times Herald-Record reports that Keith Gruber of Swan Lake was an hour and a half late for his court appearance Monday before Sullivan County Judge Frank LaBuda, who asked him if he enjoyed his "liquid lunch."

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March 17, 2011

A BIG party

Teen cancels Facebook party with 200,000 'guests'.

SYDNEY (AFP) – An Australian schoolgirl had to cancel her 16th birthday party after her Facebook invitation went viral and close to 200,000 people said they would turn up at her house, reports said Tuesday.

The Sydney girl had wanted her schoolmates to attend, and the post -- which included her address -- said they could bring friends if they let her know, Sydney's Daily Telegraph newspaper reported.

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March 16, 2011

The value of time

Video at the link.

Woman Sells First Spot in iPad 2 Line For $900

College student Amanda Foote has turned the die-hard techie tradition of waiting hours, sometimes days, to be the first to purchase a new Apple product into a lucrative odd job. After nearly 41 hours of waiting in line for the iPad 2 release at Apple’s flagship store in New York, she sold her number one spot for $900.

Foote sat through an entire day of rain, had a stranger help himself to a box of doughnuts she was eating, and slept a total of 3 hours and 10 minutes in the time between when she got in line at 5 p.m. Wednesday and when she left it at 9:00 a.m. Friday. She plans to buy tickets to a Lady Gaga concert with the cash that she earned for her trouble.

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March 15, 2011

Over-stocked pirates reduce ransoms

Somali pirates cut ransoms to clear hijacked ships

MOGADISHU, March 13 (Reuters) - Somali pirates said on Sunday they would lower some of their ransom demands to get a faster turnover of ships they hijack in the Indian Ocean.

Armed pirate gangs, who have made millions of dollars capturing ships as far south as the Seychelles and eastwards towards India, said they were holding too many vessels and needed a quicker handover to generate more income.

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March 14, 2011

Frog porn?

Frog's porn found on magistrate's laptop

A MAGISTRATE has narrowly avoided jail after being caught with a collection of extreme pornography — including images of women having sex with a gerbil and a FROG.

Michael Hall, 46 — who is also a school governor and worked on a council panel to protect children — downloaded the disgusting images on to his laptop computer.

When police raided his home they found 230 photos and 150 videos showing women engaging in sex acts with horses, a donkey, dogs, a gerbil, a frog and a live snake.

It's not easy being green.

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March 12, 2011

Another criminal mastermind

Taking a shower??

Intruder calls 911, afraid homeowner may have gun

(CNN) -- This time it was the intruder who called 911.

A man who broke into a house in Portland, Oregon, called police -- afraid the homeowner may have a gun.

The suspect, Timothy James Chapek, was in the bathroom taking a shower when the homeowner returned to the house Monday night, Portland police said in a statement.

Accompanied by two German shepherds, the homeowner asked Chapek what he was doing in the house.

Chapek locked himself in the bathroom and made an emergency call, police said. He said he had broken into the house, the owner had come home, and that he was concerned the owner might have a gun.

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March 10, 2011

The halfro stabber

This is the lower of two items on this page.

In other non-professional criminal news, a man at a barber shop in Connecticut decided to stab another man halfway during his own haircut. He then fled the scene, creating another candidate for best mugshot of the year:

Police in Stamford, CT said in a statement that David Davis was getting a haircut when the victim approached in what Davis characterized as an “aggressive manner.” He then picked up scissors to protect himself and slashed the man in the back.

HalfFro.jpg

H.T. Jeff G.

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March 08, 2011

Vatican assassin warlock?

Witch Community Upset With Sheen's Depiction of a Warlock

Charlie Sheen managed to upset a group he probably never thought of -- witches -- after one of his notorious tirades last week.

In a week in which the embattled actor described himself as having "tiger blood" and other apparently super-human aspects usually found in the pages of comic books, the star described himself as a "Vatican assassin warlock" during a radio show.

The description evidently did not sit well with the witch community in Salem, Mass.

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March 07, 2011

Vodka on the rocks

Vodka on the rocks man rescued

A Polish man had to be rescued by coastguards after he drifted out to sea on a sheet of ice clutching a bottle of vodka.

Michal Kawolski, 23, had been drinking with pals at Gdansk when he decided to test the strength of the ice forming beside the shore.

But as he clambered on, a piece broke away and swept terrified Mr Kawolski into the Baltic Sea by powerful currents.

"We dared him to do it and it seemed like a good idea after a few hours of drinking," said one friend.

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March 04, 2011

Because it's bare

Picture at the site - in case you're wondering what "cat ears" are.

Woman's naked mountain climb

CONQUERING one of the Sunshine Coast’s most treacherous mountains is not enough for some.

Take Jess Kelley, a 24-year-old Brisbane archaeologist, for instance.

She decided to take on the challenge while utterly starkers.

Jess ventured onward and upward armed with experience, a mobile phone and a pair of “cat ears” to keep her fringe under control.

A gentleman named Jeremiah also took on the challenge and shed his clothes – aside from a dapper pork-pie hat.

They reached the summit and posed as though she had conquered Europe.

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March 03, 2011

Meet Prince Charming

Accused kidnapper says he was going to propose

TRENTON -- A city man accused of kidnapping his ex-girlfriend, punching her in the head and threatening to kill her with a screwdriver told a judge yesterday that it was all just a prelude to a marriage proposal.

Melvin Cade, 44, of North Clinton Avenue, is being held in connection with the Feb. 16 abduction of his ex-girlfriend in Ewing.

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March 02, 2011

Busted! (5)

Former president of MADD arrested for DUI

MARION COUNTY, Fla. (WOFL FOX 35) - A woman who was the former president of the Mothers Against Drunk Driving chapter in Gainesville has been arrested for drunk driving.

Debra Oberlin, 48, was arrested around 1:00 a.m. February 18 after police say the car she was driving was swerving on Northwest 39th Street. According to the arrest report she was given two breathalyzer tests and measured .234 and .239. The limit in Florida is .08.

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March 01, 2011

Smart kid

Student Uses Smart Phone To Beat Speeding Ticket

A student describes how he was able to get out a speeding ticket by whipping out his Android.

The cop cited him for going over 40 mph in a 25 zone, which he was too frazzled to contest at the time. After he had cooled down and parked his car later, he remembered that he had been running the My Tracks app by Google which records your GPS info and speed. Pulling up the data, he found that he hadn't been speeding. When his court date arrived, he plead not guilty, presented his GPS data, and successfully got out of the ticket. Nice!

Via

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February 28, 2011

Free-range ice cream?

As though these women are nomads, roaming the moors? Right.

Mmm? Ice cream-maker to sell breast milk treat

Earlier this year, we blogged about a Wisconsin woman who was making cheese from women's breast milk. Now, a London ice cream parlour is creating a breast milk ice cream, calling it an "organic, free-range" treat.

H.T. Ms M.

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February 25, 2011

There is some justice

Woman: Driver Makes Obscene Gesture, Crashes Into House

COVINGTON, Ky. -- A reckless driver lost control of his pickup truck after making an obscene gesture and crashed into a Covington home, witnesses said.

Shelley Gillespie said the man was driving too fast Wednesday afternoon on Kentucky Avenue when she motioned for him to slow down.

She said the man turned toward her and extended his middle finger just before crashing into the living room of Melvina Sheffield.

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February 24, 2011

The No-Eat list

Seattle-Area Restaurant Refuses To Serve TSA Agents

Fed up with what he views as crappy treatment from the TSA, the owner of a restaurant near Seattle-Tacoma International Airport has decided to put all TSA agents on his No-Eat List.

"We have posted signs on our doors basically saying that they aren't allowed to come into our business," one employee tells travel journalist Christopher Elliott. "We have the right to refuse service to anyone."

She says that whenever a TSA agent attempts to dine at the restaurant, "we turn our backs and completely ignore them, and tell them to leave... Their kind aren't welcomed in our establishment."

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February 23, 2011

Biters bit (3)

An entertaining story.

Wells Fargo Meeting Today With Philly Homeowner Who "Foreclosed" On Them (Here's How He Did It)

Wells Fargo is meeting today at noon with the Philadelphia homeowner who "foreclosed" on them, The Consumerist has exclusively learned. Patrick says he "received a call from upon high" late yesterday and that he now has an appointment, "with a very senior Wells Fargo person." It will be interesting to see how this plays out. But how did Patrick go from embattled and ignored homeowner to seated across the negotiating table with leverage? I spoke with him to find out more about both how and why he did what he did. His story is an inspiration to anyone who's dreamed of going toe-to-toe with the big banks and winning. Turns out that armed with persistence, and a little legal know-how, Davids can take down Goliaths.

H.T. Paul B.

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February 22, 2011

A stereotype in the flesh

Penis-leash couple nabbed at shops

French police say they have arrested a 63-year-old woman who was leading her 40-year-old companion along a busy shopping street by a leash attached to his exposed penis. [...]

The couple admitted to being sex addicts and said they were in the middle of a game when arrested, police said on Thursday.

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February 21, 2011

It's a small world (2)

Missus in a bottle

Mandy English was just 13 when she hurled the note requesting a penpal into the sea during a 1979 school trip to Scotland.

Two years later Richard, then just six, spotted the glass bottle on the beach and sent a reply by postcard.

Mandy never wrote back because of the age difference.

But while sorting through keepsakes last week, she found the 1981 card and realised its schoolboy sender had the same name as Richard, her boyfriend since last June.

Via

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February 18, 2011

Whoa, Trigger!

Foodies to race for stallion semen

New Zealanders will be serving up glasses of horse semen at the famed Hokitika Wildfoods festival next month, a "delicacy" that racehorse owner Lindsay Kerslake says will have extreme foodies "raring to go".

"Horses are pure testosterone, you know. They have hardly any cholesterol, so the idea is you knock it back and feel like a stallion yourself," said Mr Kerslake, of Christchurch.

"You'll have as much zizz as a stallion for a week afterwards." [...]

Even the organiser of the edgy festival, Mike Keenan, said he wouldn't be letting the drink pass his lips.

"God no, it's definitely not to my taste, but you'll be shocked how many people will go for it," he said.

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February 17, 2011

Safety first! (2)

'Safety' wall built across motorway

Road officials who built a wall across a 70mph motorway at night without warning motorists are being sued by crash victims.

The five feet high wall - which had no lights or signs - had been built to protect road repairers working further down the highway.

But officials are facing an inquiry after dozens of cars slammed into the wall in Xian, Shaanxi province, western China, without realising it was there."

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February 16, 2011

Strange chow

One of the oddest bits I've read recently but there is a reason given, if you read the whole thing.

Latest boffinry: Feeding TNT to sheep

There's a good reason, honest

Stateside boffins are diligently getting a small number of laboratory sheep to eat as much TNT as possible.

One should point out straight away that this will not - or ought not to, anyway - involve any sheep then exploding in a sequence of fearful fleecy detonations and spattering the landscape with woolly fluff and raw mutton. This is not some kind of crazed attempt to create instant-self-barbecuing lamb or similar. In fact it seems that the guts of a sheep, capable of digesting various things which would prove fatal to lesser species such as cows or humans, can break down trinitrotoluenes - TNT - into harmless residues without any ill effects on the animal.

Via

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February 14, 2011

What a headline (5)

Flying dong dings bucks party goer

Jure Skumavc was hit in the head by a flying dildo during a bucks party stripper show. Picture: BRAD FLEET

THE best man at a wedding was left battered and bloodied after he was hit in the head by a fast-moving dildo.

The flying phallus left Darwin architect Jure Skumavc, 31, nursing a split forehead.

Mr Skumavc said he was injured by the bullet-shaped, pink, sex toy - measuring about 12cm in length - at a bucks party to farewell friend's Peter Rolih's bachelorhood.

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February 11, 2011

Only in New York City

What a gonef.

Cabby admits 800G rip-off

A car-service driver has pleaded guilty to fraud for taking a businessman on what is probably the most expensive airport cab ride in New York history.

Peter Rahhaoui, a Queens limo operator, admitted billing a Hong Kong mogul's credit card nearly $800,000 after driving him 13 miles from Teterboro Airport to Manhattan in 2008.

Tony Chan, a megamillionaire and feng-shui master, did not notice the startlingly exorbitant charges and learned of them only after he was notified by bank security.

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DIY DWI

Drunken woman pulls herself over

A woman suspected of drunk driving pulled herself over on Milan Road after mistaking the flashing Skate World sign for police lights.

While pulling to the side of the road, however, the woman lodged her black Dodge Avenger into a snow bank near the sign.

A passerby stopped to see if the woman needed help and called police after noticing she seemed intoxicated, according to a Perkins Township police report.

The woman told the passerby she thought the flashing lights from Skate World's sign were police lights, police said.

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February 10, 2011

How about a permanent ban?

Sex ban suggested for Belgian coalition negotiators

The partners of Belgian politicians are being urged to go on a sex strike until a government is formed.

The country had general elections last June but parties have so far been unable to form a governing coalition. [...].

It is now 241 days since the elections, and Belgium is fast approaching an unofficial world record.

Apart from Somalia, it is reported that only Iraq has taken longer (249 days) to form a government.

"I call on the spouses of all negotiators to withold sex until a deal is reached," said [Socialist senator Marleen] Temmerman in an article for a Belgian newspaper. "Have no more sex until the new administration is posing on the steps of the Palace."

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February 09, 2011

There's an app for that (2)

Catholic church gives blessing to iPhone app

The Catholic Church has approved an iPhone app that helps guide worshippers through confession.

The Confession program has gone on sale through iTunes for £1.19 ($1.99).

Described as "the perfect aid for every penitent", it offers users tips and guidelines to help them with the sacrament.

Now senior church officials in both the UK and US have given it their seal of approval, in what is thought to be a first.

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February 08, 2011

Now we need bears

In addition to Mama, trains, trucks, prison and gettin' drunk.

Unwelcome bear on Boulder hospital property chased off with country music

Maybe it was the country-western music or maybe it was just too loud to sleep. Either way, Colorado Division of Wildlife officials succeeded over the weekend in shooing away a hibernating bear after it was found holed up under a residence on Boulder Community Hospital property.

A plumber for the hospital found the bear around 1 p.m. Friday in a crawl space beneath one of two cottages that the hospital reserves near its Mapleton Center [...]

State wildlife officials discussed several options and decided to scare the bear away by tucking a loud radio in the hole with the bear, Sheehan said. They played country western music, he said.

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February 03, 2011

Whoopie pie?

Food Fight: Maine Weighing Whoopie Pie as State Dessert

Here's a weighty matter for Maine lawmakers: whether to crown the whoopie pie as the state's official dessert.

Those who support the idea say the chocolate cakes filled with creamy white frosting are a decades-long Maine tradition and help the economy, as bakeries turn out thousands a day. The one-man opposition is concerned about glorifying a product made with lard amid an obesity epidemic.

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February 02, 2011

What he said

Self-deprecating suspect held in holdups

Paul Stoliker probably ranks high up there in the annals of not-so-smart bank robbery suspects. After all, it says so right on his alleged demand note: "Dumb Ass Robbing Bank."

It all started at 4:40 p.m. Tuesday when a man walked into the U.S. Bank on Second Avenue in downtown San Mateo, approached a teller and asked if there was an urgent care center nearby.

The teller told him that Mills Health Center was just down the street "and asked the robber whether he was OK," FBI Special Agent Adrienne Sparrow wrote in an affidavit filed in U.S. District Court in San Francisco.

The man said everything was fine before showing the teller a piece of paper that said, "I'm unarmed," the affidavit said. He left with $1,330 in cash, but not before telling her, "I'm sorry I had to do this to you," according to Sparrow.

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February 01, 2011

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

And THREE YEARS is a lot of absence.

Immigration officer put wife on terror list

An immigration officer was so sick of his wife that he put her on a terrorist watch list - ­so she couldn't get home from Pakistan.

The officer added her name to the register of people banned from flights into the UK while she was visiting family overseas, reports The Mirror.

When she went to the airport to get her return flight back, officials told her she could not board the plane and did not ­explain why.

She called her husband, who ­promised to look into it - but left her stuck in Pakistan for three years while he had the "time of his life".

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January 27, 2011

Incoming! (2)

Smugglers get medieval: Pot catapult found at border

Drug smugglers trying to get drugs across the U.S.-Mexico border are getting old-school: they're trying a catapult.

National Guard troops operating a remote video surveillance system near Naco observed a catapult being set up south of the border last Friday evening, authorities said.

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January 25, 2011

Killer hickey

Woman Nearly Dies Of A Hickey

We all know hickies are embarrassing to receive if you're over the age of 14, but turns out they can also be dangerous. A 44-year-old New Zealand woman was rushed to the emergency room for a hickey gone awry. The trouble all started when her lover sucked her neck one night while they were sitting on the couch watching television. Only his technique was a little too aggressive. He hoovered her so vigorously that he created a blood clot near a major artery in her neck. The clot then broke off and moved into her heart causing a minor stroke. She only knew she was having a stroke when she started experiencing paralysis on her left side.

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January 20, 2011

Busted! (4)

Cross-dressing policeman in Oz caught in an 'offensive act' by officers

Melbourne, Jan 19 (ANI): A cross-dressing police officer in Sydney, Australia was caught committing an "offensive act" by officers while wearing a black ladies G-string, bra and six-inch high heels.

Off-duty constable Peter Karras, 51, of Green Valley, was found sitting in a dark and secluded Punchbowl street putting on women's clothing while touching himself, the Herald Sun reported. [...]

The officers also found his police uniform and police-issued gun belt on the back seat of his car.

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Jurassic beer

Poly professor brews beer with 45-million-year-old yeast

A Cal Poly professor's mission to turn a 45-million-year-old yeast into an ingredient for a beer has proven successful — and now he hopes to grow his operation locally.[...]

Despite initial skepticism from some about the taste the beer would produce, Cano says the flavor turned out surprisingly good and unique.

Critics have described the taste as one with lots of spice, resembling cloves, along with tinges of ginger and pineapple.

Check them out at the Fossil Fuels Brewing Co.

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January 19, 2011

But you can call him 'Nick'

Madcap Brit's full-name has 197 characters

Barnaby Usansky, 36, formerly Nick, is fascinated by words and added the new names by Deed Poll – plus Marmaduke – because he loves it so much.

His full name is now Barnaby Marmaduke Aloysius Benjy Cobweb Dartagnan Egbert Felix Gaspar Humbert Ignatius Jayden Kasper Leroy Maximilian Neddy Obiajulu Pepin Quilliam Rosencrantz Sexton Teddy Upwood Vivatma Wayland Xylon Yardley Zachary Usansky.

Via

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January 18, 2011

Being French

I blow my nose at you so-called Arthur King. You and all your silly English k-niggets.

French smoker creates commotion on plane

(CNN) -- A brawling smoker who turned his trans-Atlantic flight from France into something resembling a bar fight is facing criminal charges.

Franck Lebrun was on a Delta Air Lines flight from Nice, France, to New York last Saturday when things became tense, according to a complaint filed at the U.S. District Court in New York.

The account reads like something out of a movie to scare air travelers. [...]

Lebrun continued to scream and yell expletives and then "aggressively positioned himself toward one of the federal air marshals in a fighting stance," court papers say. The marshals then handcuffed him and seated him in the back of the plane.

"Lebrun continued to verbally abuse individuals around him, yelling in substance 'I'm French, f*** you!'" according to the complaint.

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January 17, 2011

Truth in labeling

A toxin by any other name? Nuclear Sludge bars recalled for lead

Almost 28,000 prophetically named Toxic Waste Nuclear Sludge bars have been pulled from the market for lead levels that are more than twice the U.S. government's tolerance. The problem was found after tests by the California Department of Pubic Health.

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January 14, 2011

This old haunted house

The Housing Slump Has Salem On a Witch Hunt Again

SALEM, Mass.—There's a certain look and feel to a foreclosed home, and 31 Arbella St. has it: fraying carpet, missing appliances, foam insulation poking through cracked walls.

That doesn't faze buyer Tony Barletta since he plans a gut renovation anyway. It's the bad vibes that bother him.

So two weeks before closing, Mr. Barletta followed witch Lori Bruno and warlock Christian Day through the three-story home. They clanged bells and sprayed holy water, poured kosher salt on doorways and raised iron swords at windows.

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January 12, 2011

Who you gonna call?

Jam busters!

Jam-busting service on the road in many cities

BEIJING - With more Chinese people getting behind the wheel every day, traffic jams are a major headache in most cities but the gridlock has become an opportunity for some entrepreneurs who are offering an escape route - for a price.

Drivers who get stuck in traffic in some cities can now get on their mobile phones and call for a substitute to take their cars to their destinations while the frustrated drivers are whisked away on the back of a motorcycle.

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January 11, 2011

Tech support hell

Apple support company sues customer for complaining

The national press, the tech blogosphere, even normal, ordinary human beings on Twitter are railing against Systemgraph, a support company officially approved by Apple to be its reseller and authorized service provider.

Dimitris Papadimitriadis, a physician in Greece, was apparently having a little trouble with his iMac, so he took it to Systemgraph in order to enjoy its authorized servicing skills. According to the Greek newspaper Proto Thema, Papadimitriadis discovered dark patches on the screen of his machine. [...long description of he said/they said...]

Papadimitriadis posted his story on a forum, something that seems to have upset Systemgraph. For the company has sued him for 200,000 euros (about $267,000), claiming he damaged its reputation.

His post, as translated by Google, does not seem to offer harsh or emotive language. The most anyone who has reported on the case claims is that Papadimitriadis described Systemgraph as "dodgy." [...]

And yet there is reportedly to be a court hearing on January 19. The company reportedly claims in its complaint that, given that the issue has spread to the Web, this is "an organised attempt to slander and insult" its very fine name.

This will be, I am told by Greek correspondents, the first time a Greek company has taken a customer to court for something written online.

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January 10, 2011

Now they need to regulate hot balls

Skirting EU law: The rebranding of incandescent bulbs as 'Heat Balls'

You gotta hand it to German businessman Siegfried Rotthaeuser, who came up with a brilliant run around the European Union ban on conventional incandescent light bulbs — he rebranded them as "Heat Balls" and is importing them for sale as a "small heating device."

Rotthaeuser's website is in German, but Google does a passable job of translation. First, he's clear that the Heat Ball isn't for lighting, stating (in German, the following is translated) "A HEAT BALL ® is not a lamp, but it fits in the same version!"

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January 07, 2011

No one's above the law

Comatose Little Girl Gets Ticket for Jaywalking

The nerve of some people. There's a little girl in Las Vegas who was hit by car. She's 13-years-old and in a medically induced coma.

Allegedly, Takara Davis was jaywalking when she got hit. So a police officer showed up at the hospital and gave the ticket to her mother, Kellie Obong. Why did they hand the ticket to the mother? Because Takara was busy being rushed to the operating room as the doctors tried to stop the bleeding in her head…

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January 06, 2011

Café con piernas

Chile's Racy Coffee Shops: Making Hooters Look Tame

Two minutes ago, I was in front of the Palacio de la Moneda, in Santiago, Chile, standing in the sun with well-fed stray dogs, looking for the window of President Salvador Allende's office, where he died in 1973. Now I'm in a dark room surrounded by women in glow-in-the-dark thongs and the smoke's so heavy I can hardly breathe. I'm in a tunneled strip mall in the city center, in an unnamed coffee shop marked with a single sign: abierto. Open.

My waitress's white g-string glows in the black light. Her stockings too, which reach up her thighs and connect via a proper six-strap garter belt. As she leans over to serve the suits on the other side of the room, she casually gives my side of the horseshoe bar a view of her bare bottom. Then she greets me formally, with two kisses, and asks me how I am, as if we were old friends.

The café con piernas nickname for these coffee houses brings to mind a trip to Mexico City in the late 90s. My hosts told me that to improve my Spanish I should find a diccionario con piernas - or in other words, a Spanish-speaking girlfriend.

Via

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January 05, 2011

Funniest plate in the world revoked

Virginia's DMV Does Not Approve of Hilarious Cannibalism

Yet another reason to hate the Department of Motor Vehicles: Virginia's DMV has reportedly revoked a man's custom "Kids First" license plate emblazoned with the letters EATTHE.

Funny! And likely harmless: The plate had apparently been in circulation for several years with no reported adverse effects. But as Jalopnik explains, someone seems to have gotten the idea that the "plate was advocating something beyond hilarious cannibalism.”

EatTheKidsFirst.jpg

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Surprise! (3)

She's not much chop as a kid's prize

A Nelson family are shocked that a market stall is giving away sex toys as prizes, after their young daughter won a blow-up sheep at the Tahunanui Arts and Crafts Fair on Sunday.

The girl's grandfather, Allan Goodman, her mother, Nicola Quinn, and grandmother, Angela Quinn, were stunned when their seven-year-old appeared in the lounge yesterday morning, holding her prize. [...]

The sheep, sporting a French maid's bonnet and with beguiling long-lashed blue eyes, was "disgusting", Angela Quinn said. She was "mortified" that her granddaughter had been walking around the fair with it all day, and promptly confiscated it.

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January 04, 2011

Life stinks

Suicidal New York man leaps, but saved by garbage pile

NEW YORK (Reuters) - A would-be suicide jumper in New York was alive on Monday after leaping from a ninth-floor window but landing in a giant heap of garbage uncollected since the city's massive snowstorm a week ago.

Vangelis Kapatos, 26, was hospitalized in critical but stable condition after jumping from his apartment on West 45th Street on Sunday afternoon, authorities said.

Sanitation workers have not collected trash since the December 26 storm dumped more than a foot and a half of snow on the city. Mounds of garbage several feet high line many sidewalks.

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January 03, 2011

What a New Year's hangover

Gambler at Star City casino served 42 beers in one session

A BOOZE-LOVING card player used his "poker face" to fool Star City Casino staff into serving him 42 beers in a single 17-hour sitting.

The unnamed gambler put in a marathon innings, downing five beers every two hours.

Three waiters were happy to oblige the cashed-up player with as many drinks as he requested and failed to keep track of the seriously high level of alcohol the man was ingesting as he sat at the same card table in the main gaming floor from 2.30am.

It was not until the card table closed at 7am that Star City staff realised the man was wildly intoxicated.

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December 31, 2010

Like that excuse will fly

Flier Blames Tabasco Spill For Lewd Act

Arrested this week for allegedly masturbating while seated next to a teenage girl on an airplane flight, the 50-year-old suspect told police that he was actually massaging and itching himself because he had spilled Tabasco sauce on his penis.

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December 29, 2010

Don't confuse me with facts

Don-Tell-Me-Im-Wrong.jpg

Via

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December 28, 2010

Pre-emptive returns

Amazon Plan: Let Users Return Gifts Preemptively

(Washingtonpost.com) This story was written by Washington Post staff writer Michael S. Rosenwald.

Undoubtedly, the Thread and Bobbin Sewing Kit that Aunt Mildred sent from Amazon.com for Christmas will never see a stitch. The Stallion Stable Music Box might have looked pretty on the computer screen, but under the tree's flickering lights, it is frightful. The polka-dot nightgown has never been a good idea, even with free shipping. [...]

Amazon is working on a solution that could revolutionize digital gift buying. The online retailer has quietly patented a way for people to return gifts before they receive them, and the patent documents even mention poor Aunt Mildred. Amazon's innovation, not ready for this Christmas season, includes an option to "Convert all gifts from Aunt Mildred," the patent says.

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December 26, 2010

Good advice...

Never bring an iPhone to a knife fight

NEW LONDON, Conn. — An accused would-be restaurant robber had a change of heart Wednesday, after cooks at the establishment grabbed knives to defend themselves.

Police said Jerome Taylor, 20, wore a mask as he entered the Northern Indian restaurant on State Street Wednesday afternoon.

He pulled what the cooks thought was a gun and demanded money, according to police. But the cooks grabbed knives and said they weren't handing anything over. [...]

Taylor was gone by the time police arrived, but they caught up with him a short time later. Officers said Taylor confessed to the crime, but told them he didn't have a gun, but used an iPhone.

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December 24, 2010

They need a new drug

SANTA'S reindeer will be flying higher than ever this Christmas - after munching magic mushrooms.

Scientists have found that the animals regularly eat the mind-bending fly agaric fungi in the wild.

And Rudolph, Donner, Blitzen and pals are often seen staggering around, making odd noises afterwards.

Scientist Andrew Haynes believes reindeer deliberately seek out the mushrooms to escape the monotony of dreary long winters. [...]

"For humans a common side-effect of mushrooms is the feeling of flying, so it's interesting the legend about Santa's reindeer is they can fly."

He also said herdsmen drink the reindeer's URINE to get high themselves.


Title reference

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December 23, 2010

Oops (8)

Flash-mob singers spark California mall evacuation

A spontaneous musical concert at a California shopping mall ended with the entire complex being evacuated after some 5,000 people turned up to sing.

The incident happened at the Roseville Galleria shopping mall, which is reported to have started shaking due to the volume of people inside. [...]

Thousands had gathered at the shopping mall's food court to take part in a group rendition of Handel's Hallelujah Chorus as part of a flash-mob concert - when groups of people - often strangers - conspire on social networking websites to turn up at the same place at the same time and start singing.

But, as they burst into song, there were reports that the building's floor began to move and creak, and witnesses reported hearing popping sounds.

Emergency services were forced to evacuate the entire building.

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December 20, 2010

Uh-oh!

WikiLeaks Publishes Santa's Naughty/Nice List

(Roiters) He makes a list, checks it twice. Five billion names - the entire world population, minus children under the age of three, and observers of Festivus. And now it's on the Internet for all to see.

From London's Wandsworth prison, Julian Assange stated that the list was acquired just prior to his arrest. He refused to disclose his source, but Santa Claus identified the culprit - an elf named Lenny, who expressed dissatisfaction with the overtime rules and the health plan.

After passing the data to WikiLeaks, Lenny attempted to flee the North Pole by drifting away in an ice floe, but he was discovered by a film crew scouting locations for CBS's upcoming Arctic Survivor.

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December 17, 2010

Ho, ho, ho!

Designed to stay on?

Magnetic bra, undies designed to stay on

A BRITISH department store unveiled a hi-tech line of lingerie today that stays on thanks to magnets.

The underwear, about to go on sale at high-end department store Selfridges, features tiny invisible magnets instead of fastenings to overcome the problem of tricky bra hooks.

The bra comes with a matching pair of "clip-on, clip-off" panties, which have magnetic side strips.

Created by French designer Laetitia Schlumberger, and named "Dement" - the French word for 'insane" - the underwear costs upwards of £165 ($US256) for a bra and panties set.

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December 13, 2010

Marooned - but it's OK

The ultimate lock-in: Seven trapped in Yorkshire pub for last NINE days

Seven people have been trapped inside a pub for nine days after the building was engulfed by 16ft snow drifts.

The five staff and two local residents have enjoyed the ultimate lock-in at The Lion Inn in Blakey Ridge, Kirkbymoorside, North Yorkshire.

They have been cut off since last Friday when heavy snow blocked the windows and doors of the isolated Lion – the fourth-highest pub in England – and made surrounding roads too treacherous for any vehicles to pass.
Enlarge Snowed inn: The Lion Inn pub in Blakey Ridge, North Yorkshire, where seven people have been trapped for nine days

The snow was so deep that vehicles in the car park were completely buried.

But despite their ordeal, the spirits of those trapped have remained high. They have kept themselves busy – eating, drinking and playing games – in a huge bar that normally serves 150 customers a night.

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December 10, 2010

It's worse than blind drunk

Reported blind man arrested for DUI, public intoxication

A reported legally blind man arrested Sunday night for driving while intoxicated, has been re-arrested for public intoxication after allegedly coming to court drunk.

Mark Alan Watson, 41, of Bartlesville, was about to be arraigned Monday on charges of driving under the influence of alcohol, leaving the scene of an accident, driving under suspension and assault on a police officer when he fell on his face in front of Associate District Judge Russell Vaclaw.

[...]

"Are you intoxicated?" Vaclaw asked.

"No, I'm blind," Watson replied.

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Shop now: you may not have long to enjoy it

Superior jeweler says end is near, having sale

Larry Falter, owner of Superior's LTD Jewelers, hit upon a novel idea for his latest TV commercial — blending a storewide sale with his belief that the Day of the Lord is near.

After opening with the trumpeting of horns and a glimpse of a land assailed by fire and lighting, the 30-second ad shows Falter in his store, stating his belief that we are really close to the Day of the Lord and the return of Jesus Christ to Jerusalem.

"Nonetheless, here and now, if you want jewelry, I have access to millions," he then says. And it's all on sale at 50 percent off during his Second Coming sale.

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December 07, 2010

Writer's remorse

Do They Know It's Christmas was worst song in the world, admits Bob Geldof

If you haven't heard a rendition of Do They Know It's Christmas yet this year, it's only a matter of time.

But should you curse Bob Geldof for writing That Song, you'll be in good company. He's fed up with it too.

The single was released 26 years ago today as Geldof set up Band Aid to raise money for famine-hit Ethiopia.

And although it became the biggest selling single in the world at the time, it seems he's had enough.

He said: 'I am responsible for two of the worst songs in history. One is Do They Know It's Christmas? and the other one is We Are The World.

'Any day soon, I will go to the supermarket, head to the meat counter and it will be playing. Every ****ing Christmas.'

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December 03, 2010

Pwned! (5)

Iranian National Air Line Has Star of David on Roof?

Al- Arabiya reported this week that Iranian officials were outraged to discover a Star of David on the roof of the headquarters of Iran Air. Iran's national airline's headquarters was built by Israeli engineers three decades ago, but apparently no one noticed the symbol until a Google Earth user picked it up.

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December 02, 2010

Monty Python explained

British humor linked to genetics

LONDON, March 11 (UPI) -- Sarcasm and self-depreciation, hallmarks of British humor that don't always travel well, may be linked to genetics, a researcher said. [...]

Martin and his research team surveyed 2,000 pairs of twins in Britain and 500 pairs of twins in North America.

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December 01, 2010

Occupational hazard

Wait a minute... They charged the guy who was getting patted down? WTH?

Man arrested after ejaculating during TSA pat-down

TSA agent gropes manA 47 year old gay man was arrested at San Francisco International Airport after ejaculating while being patted down by a male TSA agent. Percy Cummings, an interior designer from San Francisco, is being held without bail after the alleged incident, charged with sexually assaulting a Federal agent.

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November 29, 2010

No, really

Company creates sarcasm punctuation

MOUNT CLEMENS, Mich., Jan. 12 (UPI) -- A Michigan company announced the release of software Tuesday that introduces new punctuation to the typed word: The sarcasm mark.

Sarcasm Inc. of Washington Township said the SarcMark, which resembles an open circle with a dot in the center, can be installed on computers via a program that can be downloaded from sarcmark.com for $1.99.

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November 26, 2010

So to speak...

Roadkill calendar a surprise hit

A controversial roadkill calendar featuring squashed squirrels, battered badgers and dead ducks has become a surprise bestseller.

High street stores are refusing to stock the calendar but creator Kevin Beresford says he has been inundated with online orders.

Mr Beresford, 58, a courier, travelled around the country to take his photos of carcasses, some of which are so squashed they cannot be identified.

"Some people are finding it too controversial to stock, so I'm selling it online and it's going really well," he said.

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November 23, 2010

Playtime

From the UK's Daily Mail (via Steve R).

Photographer Michel Denis-Huot, who captured these amazing pictures on safari in Kenya's Masai Mara in October last year, said he was astounded by what he saw.

'These three brothers have been living together since they left their mother at about 18 months old,' he said. 'On the morning we saw them, they seemed not to be hungry, walking quickly but stopping sometimes to play together.

'At one point, they met a group of impala who ran away. But one youngster was not quick enough and the brothers caught it easily.'

These extraordinary scenes followed, as the cheetahs played with the young impala the way a domestic cat might play with a ball of string.

(Two more pictures of the cheetahs and their 'toy' at the site.)

Cheetas-and-impala.jpg

Anyone else reminded of Isaiah 11:16?

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November 22, 2010

He didn't need Facebook - neither do you

Pastor who banned Facebook had three-way sex affair

The Rev. Cedric Miller didn't need Facebook to be part of an extramarital affair.

Miller, 48, who gained national attention this week when the pastor banned his church's leaders from using Facebook because he said it is a portal to infidelity, had himself engaged in a three-way relationship with his wife and a man a decade ago, according to testimony he gave in a criminal case.

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November 19, 2010

Step away from the chessboard

Cops bust seven men playing chess in upper Manhattan park

Drop that bishop and come out with your hands up!

A squad of cops in bulletproof vests swooped into an upper Manhattan park and charged seven men with the "crime" of playing chess in an area off-limits to adults unaccompanied by kids -- even though no youngsters were there.

"Is chess really something that should be considered a threat to the neighborhood?" Inwood resident and mom Joanne Johnson wrote Mayor Bloomberg, the City Council and Police Commissioner Ray Kelly after the raid.

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November 18, 2010

Blow up your TV

Cops: Wisconsin man shoots TV after Palin dance

MADISON, Wis. -- Prosecutors say a rural Wisconsin man blasted his TV with a shotgun after watching Bristol Palin's "Dancing with the Stars" routine, sparking an all-night standoff with a SWAT team.

According to court documents, 67-year-old Steven Cowan of the town of Vermont in Dane County became enraged while watching Palin dance on Monday evening. He felt Palin was not a good dancer.

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November 15, 2010

Worst headache ever

Unlucky buck: Deer loses head-butt with lawn ornament

A love-struck buck ran out of luck a week ago. The seven-point buck was killed when it rammed a 640-pound concrete statue of an elk in the backyard of Mark and Carol Brye's home in rural Viroqua. [...]

Brye claimed the buck with a tag from the Vernon County conservation warden. He laughed at the warden's tag note: "lawn ornament fight - lost."

Brye said the deer shattered its skull. The antlers were still on its head but were dangling.

HeadButtVictim.jpg

H.T. Steve R.

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November 12, 2010

What a virus

Man Paid Up To $20 Million For "Protection" In Insane Computer Virus Conspiracy Plot

Since 2004, Roger Davidson's basically been living in a twisted Dan Brown novel. It all started when a computer repair guy informed him that a virus on his computer was linked to Opus Dei, Polish priests, and death threats.

In August of 2004, Davidson, a wealthy composer, took his computer to Datalink Computer Products, a local computer repair shop. He was worried that a virus might destroy the music compositions he had saved on the gadget. Information from the shop's owner, Vickram Bedi, left him with far worse worries though: His life was in danger. [...]

For whatever reason, Davidson believed this inane tale and agreed to "pay the computer shop not only for data retrieval, but for personal protection." Since that time, Davidson has paid somewhere between six and twenty million dollars to Datalink Computer Products, Vickram Bedi, and Helga Invarsdottir, a Datalink Computer Products employee.

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November 11, 2010

Step away from the clippers

I've had some bad haircuts but this is ridiculous.

Criminal barbering? Raids at Orange County shops lead to arrests, raise questions

As many as 14 armed Orange County deputies, including narcotics agents, stormed Strictly Skillz barbershop during business hours on a Saturday in August, handcuffing barbers in front of customers during a busy back-to-school weekend.

It was just one of a series of unprecedented raid-style inspections the Orange County Sheriff's Office recently conducted with a state regulating agency, targeting several predominantly black- and Hispanic-owned barbershops in the Pine Hills area.

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November 09, 2010

Uh-huh

Goat sacrifice fixes aeroplane

Officials at Nepal's state-run airline have sacrificed two goats to appease Akash Bhairab, the Hindu sky god, following technical problems with one of its Boeing 757 aircraft.

Nepal Airlines, which has two Boeing aircraft, has had to suspend some services in recent weeks due the problem. [...]

The goats were sacrificed in front of the troublesome aircraft Sunday at Nepal's only international airport in Kathmandu in accordance with Hindu traditions, according to an official at the company.

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November 08, 2010

The peasants are revolting

Hate your job?

India toilet cleaners stage protest over conditions

Hundreds of Indian workers employed to manually clean non-flush toilets have protested in Delhi against their working conditions. [...]

Government figures suggest that about 300,000 low-caste Dalits are still employed in such work.

They are estimated on average to earn less than $4 (£2.50) a month. [...]

Manual "scavenging" - removing human excreta from dry or non-flush toilets - is a centuries-old practice in India.

It is mainly carried out by the Dalits, formerly known as the untouchables, who are at the lowest rung of the Hindu caste system.

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