June 19, 2015

Well, experience is the best teacher

Colorado Springs police: Man shot himself to see what it felt like

A Colorado Springs man told investigators he shot himself in the foot Wednesday night because he wanted to know what it felt like, according to police.

Adam Hirtle, 30, is suspected of prohibited use of weapons, reckless endangerment and child abuse in the shooting. Sgt. James Sokolik, a police spokesman, said Hirtle was served a summons in the case and released.

Officers were called to St. Francis Hospital about 7 p.m. on reports of a man injured in an accidental gun discharge. Hirtle, however, told police the shooting was completely on purpose.

Hirtle told an officer he shot himself in his garage.

"Hirtle stated he took his boot off and shot it, then placed his boot back on his foot and then intentionally shot himself in the foot," police say. "He did not sustain life-threatening injury nor was anybody else injured."

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June 17, 2015

Like socks on a rooster, IMO

cowboy-boot-sandals.jpgRedneck Boot Sandals

Boot Sandals! We are getting alot of phone calls, emails and text today about the boot sandals and YES we are the Redneck Boot Sandal Company. Here is how it works.

You send us YOUR boots and we re-manufacture them for you. Cost is $50 plus $25 shipping and handling back to you. It takes approx 1-2 weeks from the time we receive them. This way we know the boot fits you and it is the style you want. They can be new or used. We buff them out when finished and know you will be the talk of the town!!!

Lot of gals are getting them for weddings and special events. We have seen them at the rodeo, lake, beach, dressing and casual occasions. We take visa and master card. Let us know they are coming and we will make sure we take care of you!














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June 16, 2015

Dream chalk

Why Mathematicians Are Hoarding This Special Type of Japanese Chalk

This spring, an 80-year-old Japanese chalk company went out of business. Nobody, perhaps, was as sad to see the company go as mathematicians who had become obsessed with Hagoromo Fulltouch Chalk, the so-called “Rolls Royce of chalk.”

With whiteboards and now computers taking over classrooms, the company’s demise seemed to mark the end of an era.

Being neither a mathematician nor a chalk artist, I heard about Hagoromo through my friend Dan, a mathematician finishing up his Ph.D. at Stanford. He recently appeared on a Japanese TV special about the demise of Hagoromo Bungu Co., where a TV crew came out to Stanford to interview mathematicians about the legendary chalk. One professor described hoarding enough of the stuff to keep him in chalk for the next 15 years. Dan is in the special too, calling the end of Hagoromo “a tragedy for mathematics.”

[...] Satyan Devadoss, a Williams College math professor, even wrote a blog post calling it “dream chalk.” He explained:

There have been rumors about a dream chalk, a chalk so powerful that mathematics practically writes itself; a chalk so amazing that no incorrect proof can be written using this chalk. I can finally say, after months of pursuit, that such a chalk indeed exists.

How could mere chalk inspire such hyperbole?

H.T. Paul B

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June 13, 2015

A fool and his money (2)

I don't think I'd want to be identified in court documents like those either

New York Man Says Fortuneteller Scammed Him Out $700K

NEW YORK — A New York man who sought help from a fortuneteller to fix a romantic relationship says she scammed him out of more than $700,000.

Now the allegations have the Manhattan psychic, Priscilla Delmaro, and another person facing charges of grand larceny. [...]

According to the man, those payments included $80,000 for an 80-mile bridge she said would trap evil spirits into another realm, a $30,000 Rolex she claimed would cleanse the sins of his past and $40,064 for a Tiffany diamond ring to "protect his energy," along with other payments totaling as much as $40,000.

The man— who has not been identified in court documents —told police he had spent hundreds of thousands of dollars before finding out in February 2014 that Michelle had died. But, the man wrote, Delmaro said she could be reincarnated.

More payments and a trip to seek out the "new" Michelle followed before the man said he decided to go to police. By then, he said he was out $713,975.

H.T. Jeff G

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June 11, 2015

New York's greatest headline

The genius behind ‘Headless Body in Topless Bar’ headline dies at 74

Vincent A. Musetto, who wrote the greatest headline in New York newspaper history, died Tuesday at 74 from cancer.

He is survived by his wife, Claire, and a daughter, Carly — and will be mourned as well by New York Post employees past and present who were inspired by his professionalism and quirky talent during his Post career from 1970-2011. [...]

Post editor- in-chief Col ­Allan said, “V.A. Musetto was one of the legends of our business, and he became famous for a truly classic headline." [...]

“Headless Body in Topless Bar” ran on The Post’s front page on April 15, 1983. As witty as it was horrific, it expressed with unflinching precision the city’s ­accelerating tailspin into an abyss of atrocious crime and chaos.

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June 10, 2015

Loud & clear

paul-terry.jpg
Man tattoos message on forehead

(TULSA) - Police were called to a fight at a home near Admiral and Yale Ave. last Thursday.

Officers on the scene put Paul Terry in handcuffs and noted in their report that he was uncooperative.

He has a color message to police on his face that includes the f-word.

Terry is charged with Domestic Assault and Battery, Malicious Injury to Property and Interference with an Emergency call.

His bond was set at $2,500. Terry entered a not guilty plea. His next court date is July 18.






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June 09, 2015

It was like cat & mouse

MINNIE MOUSE, HELLO KITTY GET INTO FIGHT OVER TIPS IN TIMES SQUARE

NEW YORK (WABC) -- Two costumes characters got into a fight in Times Square Thursday.

Around 3:30 p.m. Thursday, the Minnie Mouse and Hello Kitty characters got into a fight over tips in Times Square, according to the New York City Police Department.

Sandra Mocha, 34, of Queens, and Giovanna Melendez, 40, of New Jersey, were arrested at the scene.

They were both charged with assault.

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June 08, 2015

Maybe it's right?

Parking machine calls French mayor a b**tard

A scandal-hit French politician has launched a complaint after a parking machine in the town where is mayor issued around 500 tickets that called him a "thieving b**tard". Police are investigating.

French politicians are used to insults... but not from parking ticket machines

But that's exactly what happened to Jean-François Copé the scandal-hit mayor of the town of Meaux.

The politician, who is the former head of the newly-named French opposition party Les Republicains, quit the party last May after shocking revelations emerged over a funding scandal for Nicolas Sarkozy's failed 2012 election campaign.

But Copé is still in a position of power as mayor of the town to the north east of Paris, and it seems the local parking machines still bear a grudge against him - or at least someone who knows how they work.

Indeed, an estimated 500 tickets were issued to drivers bearing the usual date and time of arrival at the car park, along with an extra message at the bottom that read: "Copé is a bastard, thieving mayor" (see pic below).

Copé has now lodged a formal legal complaint concerning the machine in question to authorities.

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June 06, 2015

Whatever it takes

#HoldACokeWithYourBoobsChallenge – thousands duped into showing boobs online

The #HoldACokeWithYourBoobsChallenge encourages women - and sometimes men - to post photos online with a soft drink held in their cleavage, with many images showing mainly topless women barely covering their nipples - all in the name of supposedly raising money for breast cancer.

However, it has now been revealed the Las Vegas-based adult entertainment scout who started the #HoldACokeWithYourBoobsChallenge did not intend to raise money for charity but to make fun of similar challenges such as the Ice Bucket Challenge where people tipped an icy bucket of water over themselves and donated money to charity - raising more than £75 million for people suffering from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis.

Many women taking on the new challenge have opted to simply cover their bare breasts with nipple tassels, their hands, hair or tape.

Some women have been doing the boob challenge believing it was for charity [...]

People have been posting their images to Twitter, Instagram and Facebook in the belief the challenge is to raise money for breast cancer charities but adult entertainment scout Danny Frost and glamour model Gemma Jaxx have admitted to starting the hashtag as a joke.

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June 04, 2015

Should have expected this, I suppose

So I suppose I'm "cis-abled" now.

Becoming disabled by choice, not chance: ‘Transabled’ people feel like impostors in their fully working bodies

OTTAWA — When he cut off his right arm with a “very sharp power tool,” a man who now calls himself One Hand Jason let everyone believe it was an accident.

But he had for months tried different means of cutting and crushing the limb that never quite felt like his own, training himself on first aid so he wouldn’t bleed to death, even practicing on animal parts sourced from a butcher.

“My goal was to get the job done with no hope of reconstruction or re-attachment, and I wanted some method that I could actually bring myself to do,” he told the body modification website ModBlog.

His goal was to become disabled.

People like Jason have been classified as ‘‘transabled’’ — feeling like imposters in their bodies, their arms and legs in full working order.

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June 02, 2015

Make me one with everything

Man sprinkles cops’ pizza with weed because ‘they sounded cool on the phone’

A pizzeria owner has been arrested after topping a pizza for two policeman with cannabis because they ‘sounded cool on the phone’.

The customers suffered dizziness and vomiting and were taken to hospital after the meal in Israel.

A synthetic form of cannabis called Mr Nice Guy was used instead of oregano.

The pizza owner told police: ‘I knew the pizza was for the cops but the guy I spoke to sounded cool on the phone.

‘He told me to put whatever I wanted on it. So, instead of oregano, I sprinkled Nice Guy.’

Israeli police are now trying to close the pizzeria.

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June 01, 2015

Hang up and walk

Man steps on a snake while busy on smartphone

A man walking to work while concentrating on his smartphone showed why one shouldn’t walk while concentrating on their smartphone because you never know what you might run into—like a snake, for instance.

Tim Malone, a DJ at OK Skateland in Chickasha, Oklahoma, learned this lesson the hard way, as surveillance video from inside OK Skateland showed:

While on his way to work, Malone was studiously attending to his smartphone, not paying any attention to where he was walking, when he stepped on a four-foot bull snake, which went into attack mode and bit him in the leg.

“My adrenaline took over,” Malone told KOCO TV of Oklahoma City. “I realized it was a snake and I started kicking to get it off.”

It was suspected that the snake was attempting to escape the Oklahoma floodwaters.

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May 30, 2015

It's a tough crowd at Bingo

82-year-old arrested for slashing tires over bingo

Fred Smith was charged with criminal mischief to a vehicle last week when, police say, he took an ice pick to Ethel Britt's van.

She celebrated her 88th birthday Friday and has since been questioning why Smith targeted her car.

"I didn't think anyone would be low enough to do that to my car because I didn't know I had any enemies in my life,” she said. “I thought everybody was my friend, but undoubtedly I have one enemy.”

Police say Smith stormed out of a weekly bingo game at the Lake Ashton Club House and punctured two of Britt's tires because she was sitting in a chair he usually sits in.

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May 28, 2015

What's worse than a finger in yer eye?

Barbecue dispute ends with fork in eye

MUNCIE – A dispute over “the last rib” at a family barbecue ended with one Muncie woman stabbing another in the eye with a fork, police said.

Sabrina A. Davis, 45, 2005 N. Turner St., was arrested Sunday night on a preliminary charge of criminal recklessness.

According to an affidavit, Davis was a guest at another family’s gathering in the 2200 block of North Turner Street when the homeowner’s daughter became upset over Davis “taking the last rib from the kitchen.”

That woman confronted Davis “about taking all the food,” and told officer Amy Kesler that Davis responding by stabbing her in the left eye with a fork she had been using “to take meat from a pan.”

The victim had “at least two small lacerations on her left eyelid,” Kesler wrote, and her eye was “swollen and bloodshot.”

A witness told police the victim “was frustrated that Davis was taking so much food from the house,” and after being wounded in the eye, “grabbed a knife from the counter and was trying to get to Davis.”

However, Davis maintained she was acting in self defense, insisting the other woman was already brandishing the knife when she stabbed her in the eye.

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May 27, 2015

Stair speeds

I don't get the numbering - or why it's even there.

stair-speeds.jpg

Source

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Going green

Californians get their drought-parched lawns painted green

David Bartlett, owner of Xtreme Green Grass in West Sacramento, Calif. paints lawns green, a service that's shot up in popularity as the state's drought lengthens.

Bartlett says he's taking more orders now than ever before.

"I probably have about seven appointments scheduled in just the next week or so." He said.

The procedure takes Bartlett and his team about an hour to complete. Bartlett arrives at a customer's homes with his equipment, including a sprayer that shoots a dye across all of the drought-stricken areas of the yard. He said the dye is an all natural earth pigment and is not harmful to people or pets.

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May 26, 2015

That April-fresh smell

Poor My. Dowdy seems to have a problem. But the idea of police using a basket of laundry as bait strikes me as hilarious.

Belleville man with chronic sock fetish charged with burglary

This city’s socks offender has struck again, authorities say.

James W. Dowdy, 43, whose fetish for women’s socks has gotten him arrested more than a dozen times, was charged Tuesday in St. Clair County Circuit Court with burglary.

He was arrested on Monday after allegedly taking socks from a police “bait car.”

The vehicle had been set up with a basket full of laundry to snag Dowdy after a resident reported finding socks in her yard in the 7600 block of West Main Street in Belleville. Police recognized the discarded socks as Dowdy’s method of operation.

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May 20, 2015

With plenty of tonic, please

Years ago, I had a dish in Mexico City that the locals called Montezuma's caviar - which turned out to be ant larvae. It was pretty tasty.

Anty Gin – World’s First Gin Made Using Ants

True to its name, ‘Anty Gin’ is literally made from red wood ants. British distiller Will Lowe collects thousands of ants from the forests of Kent and prepares the gin at his lab-style distillery in Cambridge. The bizarre concoction is the world’s first gin to be made from insects, so naturally, it doesn’t come cheap. Each 70cl bottle costs £200 ($313), and contains the essence of 62 ants.

The idea for Anty Gin came about when Danish organisation Nordic Food Lab contacted Lowe, who makes custom gins for a living. “We were approached by a company from Copenhagen called Nordic Food Lab who explore the culinary qualities of insects and argue for the eating of them in western cuisine. They asked us to come up with a gin where the typical citrus flavor came not from lemon or lime peel, but from ants.” Lowe said. [...]

“We did a lot of research and found that the reason ants taste like citrus is because they spray formic acid as a method of defence. Hundreds of years ago formic acid was made by distilling ants, and so that’s what we decided to do,” he explained.

Lowe started with 6,000 ants and soaked them in high strength ethanol. He then distilled the liquid to make an ant concentrate, which he mixed with juniper, stinging nettle, wood avens root, alexanders seeds, and other botanicals foraged from the forest.

“The result is a spectacular, one-of-a-kind gin that is being very well received worldwide,” he said. “People are astounded at how good it tastes. It’s expensive because it is so labour intensive – Anty Gin was almost a year in the making.”

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May 18, 2015

Get-out-of-jail free message

The Prisoner Who Emailed Himself Free

On March 9, 2015, Neil Moore was in Wandsworth Prison, a maximum security prison in England, awaiting trial. He was charged with orchestrating a series of bank heists, with his modus operandi centering on fraud. He’d pretend to be a bank official and, via a bit of social engineering, convince (real) staffers at other financial institutions to wire him some cash. Using four different aliases — some male, some female — Moore ended up unlawfully acquiring £1,819,000 (about $2.65 million) in total, in eight such heists.

On March 10, 2015, Neil Moore was released from prison. An official from Southwalk Crown Court emailed Wandsworth to inform them that Moore had been granted bail.

On March 13, 2015, attorneys (solicitors) went to Moore’s cell to interview him regarding his pending case. He, of course, wasn’t there. But he should have been. No one at Southwark Crown Court had authorized his release.

If you’ve noticed what appears to be a typo there, congratulations — you caught something that the officials at Wandsworth did not. The email came from Southwalk — pay attention to the second to last letter — and not Southwark, as is the court’s actual name, per the BBC. Further, as NBC News notes, the sender’s email domain was @hmcts-gsi-gov.org.uk; the true email address of the Royal Court’s staff is @hmcts.gsi.gov.uk. The email was Moore’s latest act of fraud.

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May 15, 2015

Never mind, SETI

Signals that baffled astronomers for 17 years traced to observatory's microwave oven

For 17 years, astronomers at a well-known Australian radio telescope known as "The Dish" had not been able to figure out the source of a strange, vexing interference.

Now they've solved the mystery, and the culprit was right under their nose rather than in a galaxy far, far away.

Simon Johnston, head of astrophysics at the CSIRO, the national science agency, told the Guardian that a couple of times a year signals known as perytons were detected "within five kilometers" of the Parkes Observatory in New South Wales. The first theory was that the perytons were caused by local lightning strikes.

On New Year's Day, the observatory installed a new receiver to monitor the interference, and it detected strong signals at 2.4 GHz.

Two point four gigahertz is the signature of a microwave oven.

When scientists tested the facility's lunchroom microwave, no perytons were found — at least not at first.
But when the door of the microwave was opened while food was heating — as one might do to check on a reheated dish — bingo! Perytons spilled out like microwaved popcorn.

Complicating matters was that the Dish only registered the perytons when it was pointed at the microwave.

Astronomers generally operate the telescope remotely, but several maintenance workers are on the site during daytime hours. Little did they know that reheating their coffee created an enigma that would remain unsolved for almost two decades.

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May 14, 2015

You gotta know when to hold 'em

From NowIKnow. I don't know whether this story's true but I sure hope it is.

While FedEx showed promise even early on, it didn’t reach profitability very quickly. The company burned through its capital within a year or two and, in or around 1974, found itself short on cash. At one point, FedEx was down to about $5,000. There were some potential investors who were considering giving the company a cash infusion it sorely needed, but that would take some time to sort out. And Smith was out of time. As recounted by the company’s former SVP of Operations Roger Frock in his book, “Changing How the World Does Business: FedEx’s Incredible Journey to Success,” FedEx had a $24,000 jet fuel bill due. And it doesn’t take a Yale grad to figure out that it’s hard to pay a $24,000 bill when you have only $5,000 in the bank.

So how did FedEx stay afloat? Frock explains:

When I arrived back in Memphis [where FedEx is headquartered] on Monday morning, much to my surprise, the bank balance stood at nearly $32,000. I asked Fred where the funds had come from, and he responded, “The meeting with the General Dynamics board was a bust and I knew we needed money for Monday, so I took a plane Las Vegas and won $27,000.” I said, “You mean you took our last $5,000–how could you do that?” He shrugged his shoulders and said, “What difference did it make? Without the funds for the fuel companies, we couldn’t have flown anyway.” Fred’s luck held again. It was not much but it came at a critical time and kept us in business for another week.

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May 13, 2015

Yeah, I guess she is

Woman denied cigarette, lights car on fire at gas station

If you happen to be making pilgrimage to Jerusalem and a shady woman in her mid-30s asks you for a cigarette, we'd suggest you give her one. Otherwise she might light your car on fire.

That's what one motorist in the Israeli capital found out the hard way, as revealed in this video captured by a closed-circuit security camera at a gas station on the city's Bethlehem Road. The woman apparently asked the man filling up his car at the pump for a smoke, and when he refused, she tossed a lighter at the pump nozzle in his tank. [...]

According to YnetNews.com – the English-language online portal of Hebrew daily Yedioth Ahronoth – police arrested the suspect, a 35-year-old woman known to locals and identified by her own mother as "mentally unstable."

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May 12, 2015

Comfort candles

There are videos about these candles at the maker's site. What good's a video for a scented candle?

Nothing sets the mood like a Double Down fried chicken candle

The famed fried chicken candle simply wasn't enough.

Kentucky for Kentucky, a company that promotes, engages and informs the world of all-things Kentucky, is bringing a familiar smell to their collection of Kentucky-inspired scents: The Double Down Candle, which is inspired by the popular "sandwich" from KFC.

We're using the term "sandwich" lightly here, because the Double Down consists of bacon, sauce and cheese between two pieces of fried chicken.

Much like the "food", the Double Down candle starts with the scent of fried chicken mixed with bacon pieces, followed by a bacon-scented center and is finished off with yet another layer of fried chicken scent.

The company's gourmet candle line, called the Scents of the Commonwealth, made headlines in 2013 when it released a small batch of Kentucky Fried Chicken and Mint Julep candles, which reportedly sold out in less than a minute.

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May 11, 2015

Best of Craigslist

Skilsaw

Wife says its gotta go. 7 1/4 blade. Runs great. The good: Pretty much stops at nothing when cutting. The bad: safety guard malfunctions randomly. Probably easy repair.

skilsaw-on-craigslist.jpg

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May 08, 2015

His burrito's not that loco

Denied sex, woman allegedly attacks boyfriend

An Oak Forest woman has been charged after attacking her boyfriend for refusing to have sex with her in the men's restroom of a Midlothian restaurant, police said.

Stephanie Miller, 26, of the 14500 block of Sussex Avenue, is charged with domestic battery and illegal possession of prescription drugs, according to police.

The man told police he brought Miller, his girlfriend, to El Burrito Loco, 4705 W. 147th St., for dinner April 25 after the two left Sullivan's Pub, where he said Miller had thrown sandwiches and behaved erratically.

At the restaurant, the man was urinating in the men's room when Miller followed him inside and began stripping off her clothes and asking him for sex, police reported. They said that when the man refused, Miller responded by banging his head against the wall.

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May 06, 2015

Everyone likes a little drama

But there are always some spoil sports.

Teen wears fake bomb to ask date to prom, gets suspended

LA CENTER, Wash. (AP) — A Washington teen who strapped fake explosives to his body in a stunt to ask a date to prom has been suspended from school.

The Columbian newspaper in Vancouver reports (http://is.gd/x04wKA) that the five-day suspension will prevent Ibrahim Ahmad from attending La Center High's dance Saturday.

The 18-year-old senior says he was trying to go all out with his proposal, wearing a vest filled with paper-tube props made to look like explosives. At lunchtime, Ahmad stood on the cafeteria stage and held a sign that said he was "the bomb" and inviting his would-be date to prom.

Superintendent Mark Mansell says Ahmad's actions were inexcusable and that he deserved punishment for disrupting the learning environment.

Ahmad says the girl accepted, so they will likely go to dinner on prom night.

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May 04, 2015

I wonder who thought of this

China vows crackdown on strippers at funerals

Beijing, Apr 23 – Chinese authorities on Thursday bared the details of their latest anti-vice sweep: a campaign to halt the hiring of strippers at funerals

In a statement posted on its website, China’s Ministry of Culture pledged a “crackdown” on the practice, which it said has become increasingly common in rural areas.

“From time to time, ‘stripteases’ and other illegal performances have occurred in the countryside,” the statement said, adding that authorities will “promptly investigate and punish” businesses and individuals involved in the risque shows.

China’s official Xinhua news agency said such performances are typically organised in order to draw a larger crowd at last rites.

One example cited by the Ministry of Culture was a funeral in north China’s Hebei province.

“Two strippers wearing revealing clothes danced on a stage at a public square in our village at night on February 15,” an eyewitness surnamed Zhang told the state-run Global Times newspaper earlier this month.

“They first danced passionately and then took off their clothes piece by piece,” the man said. “Behind them, an electronic screen was displaying a picture of the deceased with elegiac couplets on either side.”

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May 02, 2015

Life on the station

Images of "Cooky's Creation" at the link.

Farmer ordered to take down ‘offensive’ hay bale sculpture

A farmer who built a hay bale sculpture of a bull having sex with a cow has refused to take it down after police told him he could be charged with ‘publishing pornographic images’.

Bruce Cook, who owns Kactus Point Charolais near Kerang, Australia, built the sculpture on Good Friday as ‘a bit of fun’ but was ordered by police to take it down after someone complained that they found it offensive.

Mr. Cook flatly refused the order, however, telling the police officer to ‘p*** off’ and saying he will now light up the sculpture at night so passers-by can see it for longer and more clearly. He is also considering adding calves to the sculpture.

‘I couldn’t believe it,’ he told NT News.

‘How could anyone be offended by something that happens out in the paddocks for real every day of the week?

‘They have picked on the wrong person. I don’t care what they threaten me with. The sculpture stays.’

Mr. Cook insists he is not angry that someone complained about his sculpture, just baffled that anyone could find it offensive.

‘It’s just a stack of hay bales,’ he said.

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April 30, 2015

It's always nice to be recognized by your neighbors

The Most Loud Sex Complaints in New York City Come From This Building: Data

NEW YORK CITY — A Bay Ridge couple is having the loudest sex in the city — and the carnal cacophony is driving their neighbors bonkers, records show.

The city’s 311 system received six complaints in the past year about the Brooklyn pair’s loud lovemaking, according to records obtained by DNAinfo New York. That put them on top of the city’s noisy nookie list.

In all 311 received 133 complaints between Jan. 1, 2014 and Feb. 12, 2015, from people moaning and groaning about their neighbors’ clamorous coitus, records show.

Brooklyn logged 42 complaints — the most out of all the boroughs. Queens was second with 37, followed by the Bronx with 31 and Manhattan with 23. Staten Island didn’t make a peep — it had no complaints.

But the epicenter of wall-shaking whoopee appears to be 7201 Ridge Blvd., a six-story, 59-unit apartment building in Bay Ridge that’s located next to a public library and an elementary school.

Between October and December, residents there registered six 311 complaints against a couple for being full-throated and frisky in the early morning.

“Neighbors are having very loud sex with the windows open that can be heard throughout the whole bldg. [sic],” one person said in a 311 complaint submitted at 4:40 a.m. on Nov. 14.

That complainant told DNAinfo New York that the couple first got busy and loud in October.

“I’m not sure what they were doing, but the woman was moaning and screaming, ‘Oh yeah, oh, do it to me,” said the complainant, who asked to remain anonymous out of fear of angering the landlord.

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April 29, 2015

Shopping for a new spring outfit, I'll bet

Naked woman drives through Houston Kohl’s store after happy hour

A naked woman plowed her car through the front of a Houston Kohl's store at about 60 mph, leaving a gaping hole Monday, witnesses said.

The unidentified woman had just left happy hour at a P.F. Chang's restaurant across the Royal Oaks shopping center parking lot, police told KTRK-TV.

At some point, the driver took off her clothes.

The 40-year-old sped until she had demolished a wall of the workout gear department at about 6:45 p.m., police said.

"It was loud. She just kept going, wouldn't stop. She just went straight into the wall," shopping center security guard Godient Derbigney told the station.

When police arrived at the scene, they found the woman's clothes on the floor.

She was taken to the hospital with minor cuts after emergency workers covered her up, Cox Media Group reported.

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April 28, 2015

Competitive what?

Take a Deep Breath if You Want to Try Competitive Vaping

PLANO, Texas—Just outside the town where Doc Holliday got in a major gunfight, Elijah Seybold and Nathan Waller stood back-to-back in silence.

A small crowd gathered nearby as an MC yelled, “One! Two! Three!…Pull!”

Then, Mr. Seybold and Mr. Waller pulled out copper-colored, electronic cigarettes, raised them to their lips, inhaled deeply and shot dense, white plumes of fog out of their mouths.

Two judges perched on stools nearby watched as the contestants’ foggy clouds traveled along a black measuring stick. As fans held their breath, Mr. Seybold’s cloud reached out all the way to 6 feet. Mr. Waller’s billowed out to about 5. As the judges pointed to Mr. Seybold, the crowd erupted in applause and cheers. “Sweet!” a spectator shouted. Mr. Seybold had won the first round in the Clouds for Heroes competition at the Metro Vapors vape shop.

Welcome to the newest entrant in the extreme sports category: “cloud chasing.” Competitors play it not with balls and bats, but with electronic cigarettes. They are called cloud chasers, and their devoted fans are cloud gazers.

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April 24, 2015

Turbocharged cremation

Crematorium fire sparked by 500-pound body

HENRICO COUNTY, Va. — A fire that damaged the roof at Southside Cremation Services on Crump Street in eastern Henrico was likely sparked by a "rather large body," according to fire investigators.

The fire started when the furnace used to cremate the 500-pound body got too hot, Henrico Fire spokesman Capt. Daniel Rosenbaum said.

"The Henrico Fire Marshal's office has determined the cause of the fire to have been accidental in nature," Rosenbaum wrote in an email. "The rubber roofing near the smoke stack was ignited by the heat of the stack."

Three people inside the building made it out of the building unharmed. Fire crews from both Henrico and Richmond quickly got the fire under control and extinguished, Rosenbaum said. [...]

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April 22, 2015

Getting wasted

Oregon is Going to Try to Make Beer Out of Sewage Water

Sorry, Oregon, but you’re not being as creative as you think—National Bohemian has already been packaging sewage water as beer for decades.

The Oregon Environmental Quality Commission has just recently approved a proposal to attempt to use recycled sewage water to brew beer. The beer wouldn’t be served in bars, at least to start with; assuming efforts to turn sewage into delicious libations are successful, they’ll only initially be served at tasting events and other “water professional society functions.” This makes a lot of sense, as “pay me for this sewage beer” (as such an attempt would no doubt be initially painted) is a marketing strategy roughly on par with “give me money and I will punch you directly in the genitals” and “who wants to pay to listen to me having a particularly disagreeable bowel movement?” I’m sure water professionals throw some crazy keggers, too, so this should be exciting for them.

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April 21, 2015

They needed all the help could get

‘Missing’ woman unknowingly joins search for herself

A woman who was reported missing from an Icelandic tour unwittingly joined a search for herself.
According to the Reykjavik Grapevine, a woman described as "Asian, about 160cm, in dark clothing and speaks English well" was listed as missing Saturday near the Eldgjá volcanic canyon in southern Iceland.

A search continued through the weekend with reports saying she got off a tour bus and never returned.

It turns out the woman merely changed clothes during the bus stop, and after she returned, those on the bus didn't recognize her.

When the description of the "missing" woman was circulated, apparently the lady who changed her outfit didn't recognize the description of herself. So she joined the search party.

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April 20, 2015

But who won?

Smartphone Debate Ends With Stabbings

APRIL 17---A drunken argument over whether Android or Apple smartphones were superior turned violent early today when two Oklahoma roommates began assaulting each other during the bloody telecommunications debate.

According to Tulsa police, Jiaro Mendez and Elias Acevedo were outside their apartment around 1 AM when their phone quarrel moved to the stabbing stage.

As they tussled in a parking lot, Acevedo allegedly struck Mendez in the back of the head with a beer bottle. When cops subsequently apprehended Acevedo, he was “covered in blood” and “also had several lacerations on his body from the fight.”

Both men were treated for cuts and bruises at a local hospital, where Mendez told police that the pair had been “arguing about which phone was better, the iPhone or the Android. [...]

Investigators did not disclose which of the men was the Apple fanboy or the Android devotee.

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April 10, 2015

An idea that's spreading

Man asks Tampa federal judge to bar Kim Kardashian, Kanye West from Florida (w/video)

TAMPA — Federal judges settle matters of import. They rule on terrorism, public corruption, sex trafficking and the like.

Add to the list: Kim Kardashian and Kanye West.

A Tampa federal judge was asked this week to grant an emergency restraining order barring the celebrity couple from ever entering Florida or appearing on Florida television.

Oddly, the petitioner was an inmate of a Pennsylvania prison, Wayne Richard Albright, 44.

"I think it's safe to say we as a country are sick and tired of the Kardashians and most of all Kimberly and her self proclaimed best rapper rockstar on the planet, Kanye West," the inmate wrote.


‘No Kardashian Parking’ signs pop up in Hollywood

Los Angeles conceptual artist Plastic Jesus, commenting on celebrity and consumer culture, has placed several signs on city streets reading “No Kardashian Parking Any Time.”

“The Kardashian family has become ingrained in our culture,” the anonymous artist, who styles himself “the Banksy of L.A.,” told The Hollywood Reporter Wednesday. “We’ve allowed mainstream media to become so profit-driven, we are sacrificing genuine news stories to satiate our vapid celebrity obsessions.”

Seven signs have sprung up in locations including near the Kardashian’s Dash clothing boutique, on Robertson Boulevard near the well-known restaurant Ivy, and along Melrose Avenue.

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April 09, 2015

I know some people who'd do this

Man accused of stealing forklift to free crashed truck

FAIRBANKS — A 21-year-old Delta Junction man is accused of stealing a forklift and driving it nearly three miles Monday morning to move a truck he had crashed on Phillips Field Road.

About 5:50 a.m., Aleksander Aleksandrovich Glushko, allegedly crashed a truck near Flowline Alaska on Phillips Field Road, then walked to the George Horner Ice Park near University Avenue, where he took a forklift without permission, said Lt. Matt Soden with the Fairbanks Police Department.

Glushko then allegedly drove the forklift down Phillips Field Road past the crash scene, to Illinois Street, Soden said. An Alaska Railroad worker told police he saw a man drive the forklift to Illinois Street. The worker told police Glushko said he was taking the forklift to get his dad’s truck, which had a flat tire.

Glushko then apparently turned back to the west where police at the scene of the truck crash spotted him.
“Police were on scene talking to the railroad worker when Mr. Glushko came driving back up on the forklift,” Soden said.

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April 08, 2015

Cool!

No charges in Snow Kone Joe-Mr. Ding-a-Ling ice cream fight

GLOVERSVILLE, N.Y. (AP) — A judge has dismissed stalking and harassment charges filed against an ice cream truck operator who had been accused of trying to run his rival, Mr. Ding-A-Ling, out of their small New York town.

Prosecutors in Fulton County say a judge in Gloversville dismissed the charges against Joshua Malatino this week.

Malatino and a co-owner of their Snow Kone Joe ice cream truck business were charged in April 2013 after the driver of a Mr. Ding-a-Ling truck said the two had harassed and stalked him. Officials said Malatino had told the rival operator that he owned the ice cream business in Gloversville, a city of 15,000 located 40 miles northwest of Albany.

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April 07, 2015

Are you my da-a-a-ady?

Bizarre lamb with human-like face born in Russia

Sheep farmer Blasius Lavrentiev was originally horrified when he saw what one of his ewes had birthed: a baby lamb with a face that looks like an "angry old man with a big nose." But his shock soon transformed into delight when he realized his bizarre lamb could be worth up to 10 times the normal price, reports the Irish Mirror.

The news is also good for the lamb, which will be saved from slaughter due to its anthropomorphic face. Instead she'll be headed to the circus.

The lamb does look disturbingly like a cranky grandpa. Its eyes and mouth are eerily human, with a large nose that gives it a cartoonish angry expression. The cause of the animal's deformities are not due to an aberrant farmer getting a little too cozy with one of his ewes, as some jokesters may suggest. Rather, they are likely the cause of a Vitamin A overdose, at least according to local veterinarian Dorofei Gavrilov, who is also from the village of Chirka in southwestern Russia where the lamb was born.

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April 06, 2015

Bang, you're wet!

This report ends up a lot goofier than it starts out.

House bill bans fake guns — not real guns — near schools

The Tennessee House of Representatives passed a bill Monday night that makes it illegal to take a squirt gun — but not a real gun — within 150 feet of a school.

The new ban was included in a larger bill that would nix any local laws prohibiting people with gun permits from taking guns to parks.

The federal "Guns Free School Zones" act makes it illegal for anyone who doesn't a have permit from taking a gun within 1,000 feet of a school. If that person has a permit from the state in which the school is located, though, they can take the gun near school property, the law states. [...]

Cothren noted the federal "Gun Free School Zones" act as to why real guns were not included in the amendment.

"There's no need to include real guns in the amendment because it is already covered. The amendment added additional weapons to the list that aren't covered under other areas of state and federal law," he said.

Bill sponsor Rep. Mike Harrison, R-Rogersville, noted that he thought the amendment was included to address a particular situation in Nashville.

Leonard Embody, nicknamed the "Radnor Lake Rambo," has frequently scared schools and caused police to be called by walking around near schools with a bulletproof vest and a weapon. He's argued it's his right to make such a demonstration.

"That would I think keep situations like that from happening," Harrison said.

However, The Tennessean has reported that Embody has carried an AR-15, a large rifle, when he's around schools. If the gun is operational and he has a permit for the weapon, the new state amendment wouldn't apply.

If he carried a fake gun, he would be breaking the new law.

H.T. Paul

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April 04, 2015

Hello, world

Woman, 38, Flashes Google Street View Camera, Crosses Off Item On Her Bucket List

When a Google Street View car began mapping her neighborhood in January, Australian Karen Davis, of course, pulled up her shirt and exposed her sizable breasts to the passing camera.

But before the photos were uploaded, Google’s powerful algorithms triggered the pixelating of aspects of the images, such as the faces of individuals and license plate numbers.

However, as seen above, the 38-year-old Davis’s breasts, however, received no such touch up (click here for the full Street View image).

“I look at Google Maps a lot and I wanted to be on there and I thought this is the way to do it,” Davis told the Port Pirie Recorder, her local newspaper. “I got to tick something else off my bucket list.”

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April 03, 2015

Nice work if you can get it (16)

Bras don't actually work, says French study

Countering everything we’ve ever been told about supporting the upper curves, a new study from France says we’ve got it all wrong. Wearing a bra does nothing to decrease back pain, and the support offered by a brassiere actually encourages the breasts to sag. Quelle horreur!

As reported in The Local, a 15-year study led by Jean-Denis Rouillon, from the University of Besançon in eastern France, found that "bras are a false necessity.”

"Medically, physiologically, anatomically — breasts gain no benefit from being denied gravity. On the contrary, they get saggier with a bra," Rouillon, a sports science expert, told France Info radio.

In a job presumably envied by many, Rouillon spent a decade and a half measuring the changes in breasts of hundreds of women using a slide rule and caliper at the Centre Hospitalier Universitaire in Besançon. The participants were all between the ages of 18 and 35.

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April 02, 2015

Famous painter of bridges

Bridges From Nowhere

Nathwell Tate was born on or around March 7, 1928, in Union Beach, New Jersey — his official biography, “Nat Tate: An American Artist: 1928-1960,” isn’t quite sure about the date. As the book explains, that’s because Tate wasn’t very well known when he was alive. He was an artist who had some minor name recognition in New York art circles, and by and large, his paintings (often of bridges) were generally well received. But things turned dark for Nat Tate just as he began to see some success. He traveled to Europe and, seeing the quality of art there, decided his work wasn’t up the high standards he placed upon himself. He approached the people who had bought his artwork and asked to buy the pieces back, as he wanted to improve upon them. He was able to reacquire his entire collection but, as far as he was concerned, could not get his paintings to reach the quality of the greats he had seen in Europe. Instead, he destroyed the vast majority of his life’s work — perhaps as much as 99% of it. And then, tragically, he threw himself over the rail of the Staten Island Ferry, attempting to take his own life at age 31.

But don’t cry for Tate. He didn’t die that day. He didn’t die at all. He couldn’t have, because he never existed.

Tate was the creation of a novelist named William Boyd. Boyd was playing a prank on the NYC art scene, and started by writing the above-mentioned biography — making it up from scratch. On the night of March 31, 1998 — maybe that should have given it away? — Boyd threw a book launch party for himself. [...]

And then, Tate became real. Well, real-ish. In order to make the con seem as real as possible, Boyd created a couple of paintings which, he claimed, were the recovered pieces of Tate’s collection. (After all, what’s an artist without artwork?) Over time, the fake artist’s fame, mostly stemming from the fact that Boyd’s prank was becoming increasingly well-known, created an interest in his work, amateurish as it was. On November 15, 2011, Sotheby’s — a real (and famous) auction house — put Tate’s “Bridge No. 114,” seen above, up for bid. Sotherby’s disclosed the history of the Tate story and the fact that the artist, to use the term loosely, was really Boyd. Nevertheless, Bridge No .114 sold for £7,000 to an anonymous buyer.

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April 01, 2015

Whatever, dude

Those DEA guys will say anything -- they're as bad as lawyers.

DEA warns of stoned rabbits if Utah passes medical marijuana

Utah is considering a bill that would allow patients with certain debilitating conditions to be treated with edible forms of marijuana. If the bill passes, the state's wildlife may "cultivate a taste" for the plant, lose their fear of humans, and basically be high all the time. That's according to testimony presented to a Utah Senate panel (time stamp 58:00) last week by an agent of the Drug Enforcement Administration.

"I deal in facts. I deal in science," said special agent Matt Fairbanks, who's been working in the state for a decade. He is member of the "marijuana eradication" team in Utah. Some of his colleagues in Georgia recently achieved notoriety by raiding a retiree's garden and seizing a number of okra plants.

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March 31, 2015

This dude must be one smooth talker

Spiritual leader allegedly manipulated 400 men into removing testicles to be 'closer to God'

A man has been accused of encouraging hundreds of followers to be castrated in a promise for them to become closer to God.

Gurmeet Ram Rahim Singh, an Indian pop-star and telepreacher with a reported wealth of more than $50 million, is being investigated after he allegedly manipulated around 400 men to get their testicles removed – according to India Today.

One of his former followers who underwent castration seven years ago – named Hans Raj Chauhan – is one of the few to break the silence to speak out against him and the group.

"[The victims] were told that only those who get castrated will be able to meet God," said Chauhan's lawyer, Navkiran Singh, according to the Sydney Morning Herald.

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March 30, 2015

Don't be anal

Don't touch our 'Butthole', say residents

Residents of an unfortunately named Leicestershire lane say they don't want it changed - even if it does make them the butt of jokes.

Butthole Lane in Shepsted, Loughborough, was named after the targets used in archery as it was where men went to practice their arrow skills in Tudor times.

Unlike the residents of Butt Hole Road in South Yorkshire, who had their street name changed to Archers Way, the people of Shepsted see it as a local tradition.

Parish council chairman Bill Hutchinson told the Leicestershire Mercury: "Everybody that is a Shepshedian by birth has happy memories of Butthole Lane.

"It is a permanent fixture, I would hope, for centuries to come, and anyone proposing to change it would be laughed out of court."

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March 26, 2015

And his two unhappy partners

'Pocket Dial' Leads To Triple Arrest In Mankato Burglary

MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) — Three Mankato residents are in custody in connection to a burglary that police first got wind of due to a 911 pocket dial.

The Blue County Sheriff's office says a 911 dispatcher received a call from a cell phone at about 3:45 a.m. Thursday. The dispatcher could hear two men talking about their involvement in a possible burglary or theft, and then determined their location.

Deputies and Mankato police officers responded to the 3500 block of 3rd Avenue where found two men hiding inside the Blue Earth County Sheriff's Office Gun Range: 29-year-old Kyle Scott James and 38-year-old Jeramie Jason Ites.

Jessica June Friedrichs, 29, was found waiting nearby in a vehicle inside Pilgrim's Rest Cemetery.

Authorities found cash and items on the men that they traced to North Mankato Supply, located just across the road. There were signs of a forced entry at the business and the inside appeared to have been ransacked.

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March 25, 2015

Foo-key. Got it...

What's in a name? Fuck proud of his

What's in a name?

For Medicine Hat College Rattlers men's basketball forward Guilherme Carbagiale Fuck, the answer is simple: pride.

While the Brazilian basketball star's name may stand out on paper, it's pronounced "Foo-key" and is of German origin.

"It doesn't mean what people think it means," said Fuck. "In German it means fox."

Given the fact that Fuck's name could bring about unwanted confusion, the college initially opted to use his middle, or first-last name, Carbagiale.

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March 24, 2015

You smell so flame-broiled, darling

Japan has an "Anniversary Association"? Who knew?

Burger King's whopper-scented perfume is now a real thing

Though the smell of burgers may be mouth-watering to some, the idea of smelling like one sounds pretty gross. But that's not stopping Burger King from releasing their new Whopper-scented perfume!

As part of Burger King Japan's new ad campaign, they announced via Facebook today that the new body fragrance, 'Flame-Grilled', will be sold at Burger King stores for just one day: April 1. Though obviously being released on the the international holiday for pranks, Burger King Japan has also registered April 1 as "Whopper Day" with the Japan Anniversary Association, making it an official holiday.

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March 23, 2015

He had ONE job

Police: Louisiana man shoots son after orange juice runs out

BATON ROUGE, La. • Police in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, say a man is facing a charge of attempted manslaughter after he confessed to shooting his 18-year-old son during an argument over orange juice.

Police tell The Advocate ) Eldridge Dukes, 58, and his son were fighting Sunday morning about the lack of orange juice.

Investigators say the squabble escalated when the victim broke a vase, and Dukes grabbed his handgun.

They say Dukes chased the victim out of the house and down the street, firing at least three times. Police say the son was hit in the buttocks and suffered non-life-threatening injuries.

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March 19, 2015

It was a long walk

Missing South Carolina cat found 2 years later in California

RIVERSIDE, Calif. • A cat that vanished in South Carolina two years ago is going home after ending up nearly 2,000 miles away in Southern California.

Kevin the orange tabby is leaving Palm Springs on Wednesday after disappearing from Anderson, South Carolina, in 2013.

John Welsh of Riverside County Animal Services says the cat turned up in early March inside a U-Haul trailer a woman had driven across the country.

During a routine inspection, the inspector heard meowing. The driver says she didn't know Kevin was inside.

The dehydrated cat was taken to a shelter. His microchip helped track down owner Cheryl Walls, who jokes that Kevin has seen more of the country than her.

She says somebody must have cared for Kevin. But who — and how Kevin got into the trailer — are mysteries.

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March 18, 2015

"Kind of odd" indeed.

Jefferson County pizza delivery man shot twice by customer who tossed explosives at police

JEFFERSON COUNTY • A Jefferson County man faces multiple charges after a seemingly mundane pizza delivery turned into a bizarre and almost deadly incident.

What started as a routine pizza delivery ended with the driver shot twice and the customer leading police on a high-speed chase while tossing homemade explosives at authorities Friday night.

Todd Pigg, 38, was arrested and charged with assault in the first degree and unlawful use of a weapon, among other lesser charges, Jefferson County sheriff's Lt. Col. Steve Meinberg said. [...]

Meinberg said the incident began at 9:30 p.m. when the pizza delivery driver arrived at Pigg's home in the Vogel Manor mobile home park in an unincorporated area of Jefferson County. Meinberg said Pigg didn't give the deliveryman enough money. When he asked for more, Pigg closed his door.

As the deliveryman walked to his vehicle to call his boss, Pigg allegedly walked up behind him with a gun. The deliveryman turned, and Pigg fired at him, hitting him in the chest.

The deliveryman ran through the mobile home park as Pigg chased him while firing more shots, wounding him in the back. The shooter then got into his own vehicle. The victim ran to a nearby home and residents called police.

Meinberg said the deliveryman was conscious when taken to a hospital. As of 8 p.m. Saturday, the deliveryman was stable, Meinberg said.

Police chased Pigg northbound on Interstate 55 and into Illinois. Meinberg said during the pursuit Pigg threw homemade dynamite sticks at them. The chase went from Illinois to downtown St. Louis on Highway 40 (Interstate 64) and then to Interstate 170. Police used spike strips to disable the vehicle near Page Boulevard. [...]

Meinberg said Interstate 55 was temporarily closed while police searched for objects he had thrown at officers. [...]

Meinberg said neighbors said Pigg lived alone and described him as "kind of odd."


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March 17, 2015

F'real (7)

There's a 'Digital Desires Book 1'? Why, yes, there is: Taken by the Tetris Blocks

conquered-by-clippy.jpgConquered by Clippy: An Erotic Short Story
(Digital Desires Book 2) [Kindle Edition]

Christie Aackerlund doesn't need help with anything. So when the world's biggest technology company offers to fly her to a remote location and investigate an alien artifact, all by herself, she's all like "I'll do it!"

But the artifact isn't what it seems, and soon an overly helpful giant living paperclip is getting her all bent out of shape.

Conquered by Clippy is a 4000 word short story featuring sexual situations with digital assistants. It's for super mature audiences only.

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March 16, 2015

Could've been a real downer, man (3)

'I was just freefalling': Golfer plunges into Illinois sinkhole

ST. LOUIS - Suddenly being swallowed up by the earth on a golf course's fairway drove a wedge between Mark Mihal and a stellar round.

The 43-year-old mortgage broker was counting his blessings Tuesday and nursing a dislocated shoulder sustained four days earlier when he tumbled into an 18-foot deep sinkhole on the 14th hole of the Annbriar Golf Club near Waterloo, Ill., just southeast of St. Louis.

Friends managed to hoist Mihal to safety with a rope after about 20 minutes. But the experience gave him quite a fright, particularly following the much-publicized recent death of a man in Florida who died when his bedroom fell into a sinkhole. That man's body hasn't been found.

"I feel lucky just to come out of it with a shoulder injury, falling that far and not knowing what I was going to hit," Mihal, from the St. Louis suburb of Creve Coeur, told The Associated Press before heading off to learn whether he'll need surgery. "It was absolutely crazy."

Mihal said it was a real downer on what had been a fine outing.

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March 13, 2015

But isn't the whole idea about multiplying?

Our contributor sends news about another Indian wedding, similar to his last contribution.

Indian Bride Ditches Groom After He Flubs Math Test at Their Wedding

Here's an easy math problem: two lovebirds, minus one bride, is one lonely groom. That's what happened after an Indian bride ditched her soon-to-be groom at their wedding ceremony for failing to answer a simple arithmetic problem.

At her wedding ceremony in the northern Indian state of Uttar Pradesh Wednesday, the bride posed the following math problem to the man she was due to wed: 15 + 6 = ?

The groom answered 17, and the bride fled. The groom's family tried to get her back, but she refused to marry someone who couldn't add.

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March 11, 2015

Going with the floe

Teens begin floating away into in Lake Michigan on a tiny iceberg

Two teenagers had to be rescued by firefighters on Saturday after the chuck of ice they'd foolishly stepped onto broke away from the shore and started floating out into Lake Michigan.

The males, ages 17 and 18, were roughly 40 yards into the lake when the Racine Fire Department arrived to rescue them just after 12:40 p.m., reports The Journal Times.

Three divers in scuba gear from the department had to swim out to rescue the pair.

The two males, aged 17 and 18, had stepped onto a chuck of ice that broke away from the shore and they had to be rescued by three members of the Racine Fire Department in scuba gear

The firefighters, with help from Kenosha's Coast Guard, gave the teens life vests to put on and then pushed the chunk of ice back to shore.

They then put a ladder down for the two to climb back to safety. Neither teenager was injured, reports Racine Uncovered.

The incident took place at the beach behind Racine Zoo. Frequent visitors to the lake say it is currently difficult to tell where the beach ends and the ice begins.

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March 10, 2015

Well, that's a switch

Indian bride marries a wedding guest after the groom has an epileptic fit

An Indian bride ended up marrying a guest at her own wedding after her husband-to-be suffered an epileptic fit during the ceremony.

Groom Jugal Kishore was just about to exchange vows when he collapsed with a seizure and was rushed to hospital.

Angry that she had not been informed of his condition, the 23-year-old bride, Indira, asked a member of her brother-in-law's family, Harpal Singh, to marry her instead.

Mr Singh, who was wearing jeans and a leather jacket, was caught off guard, but agreed to go ahead with the wedding.

After the ceremony, Mr Kishore returned to the venue after being treated in hospital to find that his fiancee had married someone else, it was reported by The Times of India.

Mr Kishore is said to have begged Indira to reconsider, saying that he could not face his family and friends after her humiliating snub.

When she refused, violence is said to have broken out between the two families, with cutlery and plates being thrown at each other.

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March 09, 2015

Ride 'em, cowboy

Giant Clitoris Statue Unveiled at Sewanee

Nashville may be It City, but Sewanee is closing in on the title of Clit City: An enormous gold clitoris was installed yesterday in The University of the South's main library. The artist, Sophia Wallace, has a history of feminist, clitori-themed work, which includes the neon sign proclaiming "Cliteracy" that was also installed at the Sewanee site. The work is part of Wallace's clit rodeo, an interactive performance wherein participants take turns riding a mechanical clitoris instead of a bull.

The work will be on view at the university library through March 5, and Sewanee’s Women’s Center has promoted the event on social media with hashtags such as #SolidGoldClit and #yeaSEWANEEScliterate. See a photo of the installation after the jump. No word yet on whether or not any men have experienced any difficulty in locating the clitoris.

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March 06, 2015

Just imagine the jokes...

Sushi underwear does exist. So do cheeseburger panties.

Any food porn lover will tell you, nothing is sexier than a double cheeseburger dripping with meat juice and melted cheese, a plate of silky toro sashimi or a thick and creamy milkshake, with a cherry on top. And now Naja, a San Francisco-based lingerie company, is putting food porn on its underwear.

Naja makes a collection of Cheeky Knickers with your favorite comfort foods, right on the front of the undergarments. Think white pima cotton panties with photos of a double cheeseburger, golden French fries and a milkshake, all in one package of underwear called the Happiest Meal ($50).

If you're more of a Chinese or Japanese takeout girl, the After Takeout collection includes a pair of underwear printed with a fortune cookie across the front; a pair featuring pieces of sushi; and another printed with sake barrels ($50).

And in case you're wondering, no, the underwear is not edible.

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March 05, 2015

Dirty secret

Major League Baseball's Dirty Little Secret

Over the course of a typical Major League Baseball (MLB) game, the two teams will use well more than 50 baseballs. Some balls go into the stands and become souvenirs for lucky fans, of course, but there are times when the balls simply get so scuffed during game play to warrant a replacement. The baseballs have to be in great condition to be usable — we don't want a low quality ball interfering with the game's outcome.

So you'd expect that MLB games use brand new, fresh-from-the-box ones. They do, but there's a problem with new balls; it turns out that baseballs aren't sold in ready-to-use condition — not, at least, if you're a Major League caliber pitcher. Factory-sealed baseballs are a little too perfect. They're coated in a shiny gloss which makes them look great on a store shelf, but, unfortunately, makes them a little hard to grip, especially if you're trying to throw an 80 mile an hour curve ball through an invisible target the size of a mini-fridge. The baseballs need further processing and care: they need to get a little dirty.

As in: someone needs to literally rub the balls with dirt.

And not just any dirt will do. It has to be special. Luckily, MLB has a connection — there's a company which, every year, provides special mud to the league. Before each game, one of the umpires (or someone from the stadium staff) takes these five dozen or so balls and rubs each and every one of them with a Lena Blackburne Baseball Rubbing Mud, named for a coach who, apparently, discovered this special mud in the 1930s.

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March 04, 2015

Well, that was easy

Ohio fugitive who responded to his photo on sheriff's Facebook page now in custody

HAMILTON, Ohio- Andrew Dale Marcum won't be on Facebook for a while, the Butler County Sheriff's Office said.

The sheriff's office featured the 21-year-old Lemon Township man on their Facebook page on Monday as the "warrant of the week." Shortly after, Marcum commented on his own wanted poster.

"I ain't tripping half of them don't even know me," Marcum wrote.

"Andrew Marcum- If you could stop by the Sheriff's Office, that'd be great," the Butler County Sheriff's Office replied.

He took their advice. The sheriff's office said Marcum turned himself in and is now at the Butler County Jail, where he will not have access to social media.

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March 03, 2015

Leaking loot

Robber left trail of cash as he fled University City bank, police say

UNIVERSITY CITY • Police searching for a bank robber in University City say the trail went cold — as in cold, hard cash.

The man who robbed a Commerce Bank on Delmar Boulevard last Wednesday afternoon dropped bills along the way. Thousands of dollars, in fact.

Police used tracking dogs and found cash dropped on a sidewalk, on streets and in a stairwell. They tracked him to Clayton, where officers arrested him near an underground parking garage with only about $100 in $1 bills left.

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February 24, 2015

Evidently she forgot her hat

Woman caught masturbating during 'Fifty Shades of Grey'

It was only to be expected.

A horny Mexican moviegoer has been arrested for masturbating while watching "Fifty Shades of Grey," reports La Verdad.

The woman, said to be 33 years old, was caught red-handed while watching the film at a cinema in Sinaloa, western Mexico.

She was noticed by other cinemagoers and reported. It was also claimed she was sitting in the 12th row of the movie house.

The woman was arrested and, ironically, given the S&M nature of the movie, slapped in handcuffs by cops.

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February 23, 2015

Apostrophe war

Punctuation is tearing this town apart! Ontario town split on whether there's an apostrophe in its name

SARNIA, Ont. — To apostrophize or not to apostrophize, that is the question in Bright's Grove, Ont.

Or Brights Grove.

Depending on who you talk to. Or what government document or what sign you're looking at in town.

The small southwestern Ontario hamlet can't seem to decide, and as a result both versions of its name grace signs, maps and government documents, which is upsetting townsfolk on both sides of the debate.

At least one member of the village recently wrote city hall to express her disappointment with new signs that feature the name with an apostrophe.

"She was pretty upset that every time she comes into Bright's Grove she believes the spelling is wrong," said Jane Cooper, director of planning.

Government databases say the apostrophe doesn't belong.

But school names bearing a possessive "s" and other community markers suggest the possessive determiner is correct.

For Carol Ryan, there's no debate.

"The sign should be 'apostrophe s,'" said the 67-year-old Bright's Grove resident. "It always has been apostrophe s my whole life."

Ryan's claim is based on her family history.

Her great-grandfather, she said, was Robert Bright, one of two brothers who started farming the area in 1864. According to newspaper records, his nephew John Bright named the community.

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February 20, 2015

A two-time champ

I could manage 4 miles in an hour (a very brisk walk). But I don't know about eating a dozen doughnuts too...

The 2-time Krispy Kreme Challenge champion explains how one prepares for 12 doughnuts and 4 miles in 1 hour

HUNTSVILLE, Alabama--Eric Charette has run two miles to Krispy Kreme, scarfed down a dozen doughnuts, and ran two miles back, finishing in first place.

Twice.

And did it without puking.

"I set the course record in 2011," Charette said. "For the four mile run, plus eating a dozen doughnuts, my time was 28:53. I think my donut eating split was under six minutes. Then I was the overall winner again in 2013."

Originally from Kingsford, Michigan, the 38-year-old Huntsville resident competes in 40 races a year, albeit none as gluttonous as the annual UCP Krispy Kreme Challenge, taking place this Saturday at 8 a.m. in Huntsville.

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February 19, 2015

Nice work if you can get it (15)

Donors wanted: your bodily waste could be a big earner

Think before you flush: your faeces could be earning you money. The Massachusetts-based company OpenBiome, which banks and sells frozen faecal samples, is offering up to $13,000 a year for contributions from healthy, clean-living individuals. But you'd have to pass a stringent screening test first. [...]

Emma Allen-Vercoe at the University of Guelph in Canada went further to find the ideal donor, whose faeces could be used for a synthetic version of a faecal transplant. Her group wanted someone who had not taken antibiotics, didn't drink or smoke, and was healthy and in shape. They ended up using samples from a woman brought up in rural India.

Colleen Kelly, at the Miriam Hospital in Providence, Rhode Island, no longer uses overweight donors after one of her patients developed obesity (see main story).

A study in mice suggests that a faecal transplant can even pass on personality traits, so recipients may also want to consider the disposition of their donors. "I would pick the thinnest, nicest person who eats well," says Kelly.

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February 18, 2015

News from the Socialist Fairyland

North Korea fights for 'people's dreams' with barrage of slogans

(Reuters) - "Let the strong wind of fish farming blow across the country!"

"Let the wives of officers become dependable assistants to their husbands!"

"Let us turn the whole country into a socialist fairyland by the joint operation of the army and people!"

North Korea released a list of more than 300 new political slogans on Thursday to mark 70 years since the foundation of the isolated state and its ruling Workers' Party.

The slogans, which ran to more than 7,000 words in translation and spanned two pages of the party's broadsheet newspaper, called for a wide range of improvements including "more stylish school uniforms" and "organic farming on an extensive scale".

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February 17, 2015

I missed it!

Thank Heaven!

Department of Environmental Protection Announces Second Annual Valentine's Day Tours of the Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant

The New York City Department of Environmental Protection (DEP) today announced that due to overwhelming demand a third Valentine's Day tour of the Newtown Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant has been added this Thursday at 11:00 a.m. Initially, there were two tours scheduled for 9:30 a.m. and 1:00 p.m., but these quickly reached capacity. The tours will be led by the Plant's superintendent, Jim Pynn, who will give a short overview of the wastewater treatment process, followed by a visit to the 120 foot high observation deck located atop the digester eggs. Located in Brooklyn's Greenpoint neighborhood, Newtown Creek is the largest of the City's 14 treatment plants, with a capacity to treat more than 300 million gallons of wastewater a day from portions of Manhattan, western Queens and northern Brooklyn.

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February 16, 2015

Love the one you're with

Man and woman meet on trolley, have sidewalk sex in front of shoppers

CHULA VISTA, Calif., Feb. 15 (UPI) -- Shoppers gawked as a man and woman who had just met began having sex in public on Sunday afternoon, according to police and witnesses.

The two had reportedly just met on a trolley before rolling around and kissing on the ground at about 3:30 p.m. in front of a Christina's dress shop in Chula Vista, Calif.

Stunned shoppers gathered to watch, and after 15 minutes the man had stripped bare atop the woman, who at that point was nude except for a skirt.

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February 13, 2015

Merde alors!

Well, Canada is the home of poutine, after all.

Humiliation in France as it finishes seventh in World Cup of chefs, well behind the U.S. (but still way ahead of lowly Canada)

PARIS — It is considered to have one of the finest cuisines in the world. But France faced gastronomic humiliation after it failed to make the podium on home soil in a global cooking championship.

Norway won this year's gold medal in the Bocuse d'Or, a contest often described as the World Cup of chefs. France only managed to muster seventh place in the competition in which chefs must "demonstrate creativity, spontaneity and the mastery of their art".

Rubbing more salt into the wound, America – home of fast food and "le hamburger" – took silver, a historic first, with Sweden clinching the bronze.

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February 12, 2015

They sent him to which hospital?

H.T. Paul B - for the link and the title

Woman who 'ripped her boyfriend's scrotum to shreds' is sentenced to two years in prison

A woman who was arrested for ripping her boyfriend's scrotum with her bare hands during a brutal attack has been sentenced to two years in prison.

Christina Lorena Reber, 46, from Indiana, was convicted last year of felony battery in connection with the March 2012 attack inside her 60-year-old boyfriend's home.

She was ordered to spend two years in custody by a Circuit Court judge who said her ex-beau suffered 'an extraordinarily heinous injury' at her hands after she left his scrotum torn to shreds.

According to a police report obtained by The Smoking Gun the man's scrotum was left with a long wide tear which had been completely torn loose from his body.

During his bedside interview at Ball Memorial Hospital in Muncie, Indiana, cops said that his shirt was also covered in blood.

And when investigators checked in on the man two days after the attack, he reported that his bleeding scrotum was so swollen that he was unable to walk and was missing work.

Ball Memorial Hospital and Ball State University are named after the Ball brothers. They were the founders of the Ball Corporation, well-known for the glass 'Mason' jars (for home canning) that it's been selling for 125 years. 2015 will be Ball Corp.'s 135th year in business.

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February 11, 2015

Valentine's surprise

Seal It With a Hiss

What has six legs, a surprisingly high tolerance for radiation, and is bound to crawl into your loved one's heart?

Back by popular demand, this Valentine's Day we're again offering you the opportunity to name one of the Bronx Zoo's Madagascar hissing cockroaches for your special someone. Don't miss out. Though this holiday tradition began in 2011, tens of thousands of these hissing cockroaches remain nameless.

With a $10 donation, your valentine will get a unique certificate of honor featuring the name of your roach.*

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February 10, 2015

Hero cat

Kitty rescue: Homeless cat praised for saving abandoned baby in Russia (VIDEO)

A baby boy not older than 12 weeks has been found in a box on a staircase in an apartment block in the Russian town of Obninsk. The box was meant for a cat, who – after having found a new soul in misery, warmed up the baby and was worried to let him go.

The baby in the cat box was discovered by one of the neighbors, who had heard what she thought to be loud meowing and rushed to rescue the cat from possible offenders.

The furry feline has been living in the apartment block for three years, fed and petted by its residents. The day when she found an unexpected guest in her box was a freezing one, but the baby was very warm, according to the woman, who first discovered the abandoned boy.

"She has been keeping the baby warm for several hours and meowing to call for help," she told Ruptly video agency.

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February 09, 2015

Involuntary walkathon

Neo-Nazis Slowly Realize This Small Town Totally Punked Them

In preparation for an upcoming neo-Nazi march in the small Bavarian town of Wunsiedel, local residents decided to fight back in a hilariously perfect way: by sponsoring each of the 250 fascist participants. According to Heeb Magazine, "For every metre they walked, €10 went to a programme called EXIT Deutschland, which helps people escape extremist groups."

The anti-semitic walkers didn't figure out the town's scheme until they had already started their march, and by that time, it was too late to turn back. The end result? The neo-Nazis raised more than $12,000 to fund programs to put an end to neo-Nazis.

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February 06, 2015

Smoove (3)

Snails slither their way on to the beauty scene as the next big thing in facials

The last time I encountered escargots, they were served sizzling in garlic and herb butter by a French waiter. Now one is slithering up the bridge of my nose while five others are being stuck to other parts of my face by a Thai beautician, all secreting snail slime to (hopefully) smooth out some wrinkles and otherwise give me a younger-than-my-age look.

That this latest addition to the global beauty and wellness craze – snail facials – should surface in the hills of northern Thailand is only natural.

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February 05, 2015

Carrying the load

Lifting the Ball and Chain

The names Taisto Miettinen and Kristiina Haapalainen aren’t household names, but perhaps they should be. The duo are world champions many times over, topping all comers from 2009 to 2013, inclusive, in their sport of choice. You won’t see them at the Olympics, though, because the sport Miettinen and Haapalainen dominated isn’t one which awards gold medals or anything like that. The winning couple receives the woman’s weight in beer. It’s that kind of sport.

Welcome to the Wife Carrying World Championships.

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February 04, 2015

Parking space rage

Dynamite would have been more effective - and entertaining.

Man Shoots Cars Parked in Shoveled Spaces After Blizzard, Cops Say

A Massachusetts man faces multiple charges after allegedly shooting cars left in parking spots that had been shoveled of snow, days after two feet of snow blanketed the town.

Jose Osorio was arrested Friday after witnesses reported he fired multiple shots at two parked cars that were parked in shoveled spaces on a street in Fall River, Massachusetts.

"During the course of the investigation the fact came up that he was observed yelling and banging on doors in the neighborhood about vehicles parked out in the street," said Lt. Ronald Furtado, of the Fall River Police Department. "Additional facts came to light that he had produced a handgun and fired at two of the vehicles."

Furtado said it's reasonable to believe that Osorio had shoveled the parking spaces that were then occupied.

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February 03, 2015

One ring to suspend them all

Read the whole thing - he was suspended earlier for an equally silly reason.

Texas boy suspended for saying he could make classmate 'disappear' with 'Lord of the Rings' sorcery

Tolkien lore led a Texas boy to suspension after he brought his "one ring" to school.

Kermit Elementary School officials called it a threat when the 9-year-old boy, Aiden Steward, in a playful act of make-believe, told a classmate he could make him disappear with a ring forged in fictional Middle Earth's Mount Doom.

"It sounded unbelievable," the boy's father, Jason Steward, told the Daily News. He insists his son "didn't mean anything by it."

The Stewards had just watched "The Hobbit: The Battle of Five Armies" days earlier, inspiring Aiden's imagination and leading him to proclaim that he had in his possession the one ring to rule them all.

"Kids act out movies that they see. When I watched Superman as a kid, I went outside and tried to fly," Steward said.

Aiden claimed Thursday he could put a ring on his friend's head and make him invisible like Bilbo Baggins, who stole Gollum's "precious" in J.R.R. Tolkien's fantasy series "The Lord of the Rings."

"I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend's existence," the boy's father later wrote in an email. "If he did, I'm sure he'd bring him right back."

H.T. Paul B

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February 02, 2015

Maximum capacity: 4 clowns

4 men kill deer, all cram inside MINI Cooper, Orange County deputies say

A bizarre bust in east Orange County ended like the punchline to a joke: four men, four deer, one MINI Cooper.

It's the last thing you'd expect to find outside your rural home -- a bright yellow Mini Cooper, shell casings and blood on the ground.

"I heard just two loud booms," said Alicia Diggs, who heard the gunshots between 3 and 4 in the morning Jan. 21 and called 911.

When Diggs woke up, she found something even stranger. Deputies arrived and peered into the fogged up car. They found the mix of four grown men and four dead deer and the tiny car.

"That is crazy," said neighbor John Block. "My first thought was it must have been a stretch MINI Cooper because there's no way it was a MINI Cooper.

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February 01, 2015

Run from The Knowledge

About Last Man

"Last Man in America to Know Who Won the Super Bowl," better known as Last Man or #lastman, is an annual game played in the hours, days, and sometimes weeks after the NFL's championship game.

Contestants, called "Knowledge Runners," seek to avoid, for as long as possible, learning "The Knowledge" — the outcome of the Super Bowl.

(A podcast from NPR's On The Media, "TLDR," did a Last Man episode that provides a very nice overview of the game.)

We'll be tracking the 2015 game on the Last Man blog (and of course on Twitter, under the #lastman hashtag). There are going to be a lot of Runners this year! If you want to join in the fun, here's a handy guide explaining how. You should also read the rules.

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January 31, 2015

No place for a stuck door

Delta: Pilot Locked Out Of Cockpit In Flight From MN To Las Vegas

MINNEAPOLIS (WCCO) — A Delta Air Lines flight traveling from Minneapolis-St. Paul to Las Vegas has landed safely at its destination after the pilot was unable to reenter the cockpit, according to the airline.

According to a statement from Delta, prior to the plane’s final approach the captain was not able to enter the flight deck due to a door jam. The First Officer, or co-pilot, was able to then take control and land the aircraft safely without incident.

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January 25, 2015

It can be done

Man Finds Needle In Haystack

Sven Sachsalber, an Italian artist who lives in New York City, is known for playful conceptual art, like sitting in a tree and sawing it apart while still in it, or filming himself eating poisonous mushrooms in the woods. His latest, a jumbo version of a previous exhibit, is a classic: find a needle in a haystack.

Taking place at the Palais de Tokyo in Paris, the president of the museum hid a single silver needle in an enormous stack of hay, one far taller than the artist himself. Sachsalber gave himself 24 hours to find the needle by hand, during which the entire event would be broadcasted on French TV. His method is pretty simple: take a handful of hay, not too large a handful, fold it a couple times and bend it, and, theoretically, if the non-pliable needle was in that handful, he’d feel it. Here’s the performance in action.

Amazingly, Sachsalber managed to find the needle, and with a few hours to spare, reports MSNBC. After about 18 hours, in the early evening of Friday, he emerged from his position next to the haystack, whooping, as he brandished the needle.

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January 19, 2015

Thanks but no thanks

Have sex with your iPad thanks to the new sex toy no-one asked for

Many of us have become inseparable from our smartphones and tablets, but if you're looking to take the relationship to the next step and actually 'f*ck your iPad', sex toy brand Fleshlight has now made this possible for some reason.


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January 17, 2015

Here's a brand name I never expected to hear again

The luxury-goods company Shinola is capitalizing on Detroit

DETROIT — You may not know you-know-what from Shinola, but no worries. Shinola does.

No, not the World War II-era shoe polish that gave rise to that unprintable colloquialism. This Shinola is a luxury-goods producer that chose to start up in this struggling city, and less than two years later has become an innovative giant in branding, storytelling marketing and, above all, understanding the consumer zeitgeist, what people want at this very moment.

This Shinola knows watches, bikes, leather goods, pet toys and, yes, shoe polish. Perhaps what this company knows best is that a little consumer guilt — or "responsibility," if you prefer — can translate into a lot of company dollars, a projected $80 million in gross sales for its first 18 months of production.

The Shinola story is all about marketing Detroit, selling Detroit and attempting to build the first great nonautomotive brand out of the city in decades — and watching buyers respond. And respond they have. Bill Clinton has purchased more than a dozen $550 Shinola watches, and he has hawked the company's story in speeches, declaring: "We need more American success stories like Shinola in Detroit."

Headquartered on the fifth floor of the former General Motors Argonaut research building, now an arts college, Shinola, in an amazing piece of marketing legerdemain, promotes this hardscrabble, poverty-pocked city as a luxury brand, selling its $475 to $1,500 watches in some very non-Detroit-like places: New York's Tribeca, London's Soho, suburban Saks Fifth Avenue and Neiman Marcus locations, the Abu Dhabi airport, the cult Parisian store Colette and, as of last Saturday, in a holiday pop-up shop on the gentrified corridor of 14th Street in Northwest Washington. Early next year, a permanent Washington store will open nearby.

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January 15, 2015

Woof!

Florida sheriff's rug accidentally printed 'In Dog We Trust'

LARGO, Fla. • The Pinellas County Sheriff's Office in Florida has gone to the dogs. Well, at least its rugs have.

Department spokeswoman Cecilia Barreda said Wednesday that a new, $500 rug at the sheriff's administration building said "In Dog We Trust" instead of "In God We Trust."

The forest green rug with the sheriff's yellow badge was in the entrance area for a couple of months when the error was discovered Wednesday by a deputy.

H.T. Paul B

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January 14, 2015

Turning 30

From 30 Things Turning 30 in 2015 at MentalFloss:

1. Back to the Future

The highest-grossing film of 1985 featured Michael J. Fox as a teenager traveling ... wait for it ... 30 years back in time. Now that it's 30 years later, the film holds up, though doing the math makes us feel extremely old (today's 1985 is as distant in the past as 1985's 1955).

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January 13, 2015

Nice work if you can get it (13)

Government fires employee who skipped work for 24 years

New Delhi: AK Verma, an executive engineer at the Central Public Works Department, was fired after last appearing for work in December 1990.

"He went on seeking extension of leave, which was not sanctioned, and defied directions to report to work," the government said in a statement on Thursday.

Even after an inquiry found him guilty of "wilful absence from duty" in 1992, it took another 22 years and the intervention of a cabinet minister to remove him, the government said.

India's labour laws, which the World Bank says are the most restrictive anywhere, make it hard to sack staff for any reason other than criminal misconduct.

Take it, Benny...

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January 12, 2015

Some thanks

Soldier shot trying to surprise wife with breakfast

FAYETTEVILLE, NC – Recent break-ins may be to blame for a woman allegedly shooting her soldier husband while he was trying to surprise her Friday morning.

WTVD reports that the Fort Bragg soldier was shot at couple's home in the 1100 block of Christina Street around 10:15 a.m. [...]

According to Fayetteville police, 28-year-old Zia Segule, had left for work when his wife, 27-year-old Tiffany Segule, crawled back into bed and activated the home's alarm system.

But when Zia Segule later came back home to surprise his wife with breakfast, he walked in through the front door and triggered the home's alarm system.

Police said Tiffany Segule shot her husband through the couple's closed bedroom door.

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January 09, 2015

Thieves steal house

Thieves steal house

A San Antonio, Texas couple had build a 'tiny house' to commit themselves to 'green living' but the entire home ended up being stolen.

Casey Friday says, "It was depressing, devastating, made me angry and shocked all at the same time."

An advocate for so-called green living, Friday and his wife had invested 2 1/2 years and $35,000 into building a tiny home from the ground up. [...]

After a local TV station reported on the theft, the house was reported being found on the south side of town. Neighbors had apparently seen it for days but did not know it was stolen. [...]

As for how the house was stolen, it was on a trailer that the thief simply attached to a truck and drove off with.

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January 08, 2015

News from Flori-duh (2)

Here's 1 of 49 Crazy Headlines That Could Only Be Created by Florida Man

46. Florida Man removes facial tattoos with welding grinder.


Tampa Bay Times:
Just before the 2012 Labor Day weekend, Eriks bought gauze and hydrogen peroxide, 18 Budweisers and a bottle of Sailor Jerry rum. He'd asked his friend Brian to do it. Brian was, after all, a certified welder. The worst part was when Brian poured rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide on the wound and scrubbed the dead skin with a steel wool pad. Tears trickled down Eriks' face, but he didn't scream.

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January 07, 2015

What's in a name (6)

My emphasis.

Amanda Miranda Panda, and Accomplice, Charged With Shoplifting, Stealing From Cars In Store Parking Lot

A man and woman, he's from Middleton and she's from Caldwell, are behind bars at the Ada County Jail after being accused of some holiday shoplifting.

Boise police were summoned to the area of Milwaukee Street and Franklin Road Monday night. That's where the suspects allegedly shoplifted items from stores and burglarized at least two cars in a department store parking lot. Police said as they attempted to question the male suspect, he took off on foot but was caught a short time later. The woman was arrested without incident. [...]

The male suspect is 18-year-old Tristen Parsons and the 18-year-old female's name is—and this is no joke—Amanda Miranda Panda. They are each charged with three felony counts of burglary. Parsons is also charged with resisting and obstructing officers.

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January 06, 2015

What we learn from the past

...is that we never learn from the past.

Will You Float on Zero Gravity Day? Don't Get Fooled Again

Don't be fooled by a new astronomy hoax making the rounds on social media websites.

A widely shared story is claiming that Jan. 4 is "Zero Gravity Day," a date when people on Earth will be able to experience weightlessness while on the planet. The bogus post now appearing on Facebook and other websites at first blush looks legitimate. It shows a Twitter message that was seemingly posted by NASA and says a planetary alignment "will cause a gravitational fluctuation that will leave you weightless" at 9:47 a.m. PT on Jan. 4.

Other reports attributed the details regarding this supposed alignment to the late British astronomer Patrick Moore, who supposedly stated, "At exactly 9:47 PST AM on Jan. 4, Pluto will pass directly behind Jupiter, in relation to Earth. This rare alignment will mean that the combined gravitational force of the two planets would exert a stronger tidal pull, temporarily counteracting the Earth's own gravity and making people virtually weightless." [...]

This story is completely false. In fact, it is a repurposing of an old April Fools' Day joke perpetrated by Moore in 1976. [...]

On April Fools' Day in 1976, Moore told listeners that they'd float momentarily if they jumped in the air at 9:47 a.m. that day.

Afterward, dozens of listeners phoned in to say the experiment worked.

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January 05, 2015

Walk a mile in his shoes

Judge accepts sneakers instead of bail from Framingham man

FRAMINGHAM, Mass. (MyFoxBoston.com) -- A Framingham man couldn't post bail, so a judge allowed him to pay with shoes.

Jason Duval, 39, told Judge Douglas Stoddart that he didn't have money to post bail Friday, but he would be willing to use his new Nike sneakers as payment, according to the Metro West Daily News. He got the kicks as a present for Christmas and said they're worth about $85.

"OK, we'll take them," Stoddart reportedly said. [...]

The judge said he didn't want to release him without bail because he didn't believe that Duval would ever pay.

The judge suggested that Duval could go to jail for a few days to do away with the court costs, but Duval didn't like that option.

"I'll give you a chance to be creative," Stoddart reportedly told him. "If you can come up with a creative idea to convince me that you'll come back, I'll work with you."

That's when Duval offered his shoes for payment and Stoddart accepted. Duval can have his sneakers back after he pays $100.

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January 03, 2015

It's the wrong Joseph, Gromit

Boy acts in nativity play dressed as Stalin

A 12-year-old schoolboy turned up for his nativity play dressed up as Stalin after mixing up his Josephs.

Ilya Gavrichenko, of St Petersburg in Russia, went home and told his parents that he had landed the role of Joseph Stalin.

They got him a uniform and moustache to make him look like the former Soviet dictator and he looked the part.

The mistake wasn't realised until the day of the play by which time it was too late.

With no replacement outfit available, Ilya went out dressed as Joseph Stalin instead of Joseph of Nazareth.

"We even got him a perfect moustache," his father, Fedor, said. "We were all ready for him to be a success.

"Each time he went out on stage, the mothers were in hysterics, crying and yowling from somewhere under their chairs.

Title ref

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January 02, 2015

Use your turn signal, Art

Granite City man finds out what's been hidden in his arm for 51 years

CREVE COEUR • Unlike the times Betty Lampitt gave birth, on Wednesday morning she was the one praying the rosary in a corner of the waiting room. It was just an out-patient surgery procedure. And she said her husband of nearly 50 years was quite seasoned. [...]

Still, she was concerned. He had to go under anesthesia to have a foreign object removed from his arm.

The same left arm was injured back in 1963, not long before they'd met on a blind date. Arthur, a real estate agent at the time, was on his way to show a house when he smashed a brand new Thunderbird head-on into a huge truck. [...]

Then, about 10 or 15 years ago, something odd happened during a visit to the courthouse in Jerseyville, Ill., for work. Arthur's arm set off the metal detector. A doctor's X-ray indicated that a slender object, about the size of a pencil, was stuck in his arm. But because it didn't cause pain, and he had full use of his arm, Arthur was told to leave it be. [...]

"Everything was fine until it started to get bigger," Betty said. "The arm started bulging."

Speculation spread about what the foreign object was that seemed to be working its way out. Perhaps a medical instrument unwittingly stitched up in the emergency room back in 1963?

Arthur, 75, unearthed a collection of old photographs of the mangled Thunderbird that a friend took at the scene — the same friend who took Arthur and Betty's wedding photographs. He noticed the metal blinker lever was missing from the left side of the steering column.

Evidence in hand, Arthur was sure what he was about to deliver at the surgery center.

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January 01, 2015

Who owns what?

If the Word 'How' Is Trademarked, Does This Headline Need a ™?

Who owns How?

No, that's not a line from a Dr. Seuss book or an Abbott and Costello routine.

It's the question at the center of a bitter legal battle pitting a best-selling author and management guru against America's largest Greek yogurt manufacturer.

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December 30, 2014

Serial road rage

California road rage driver pleads not guilty while steering imaginary wheel, requests $100 bail in wacky court appearance

Deirdre Orozco pleaded not guilty to assault with a deadly weapon, reckless driving and other charges Tuesday while fidgeting, grinning and flashing an 'I love you' hand sign. The 50-year-old allegedly ran two cars off highways in separate, terrifying incidents less than a week apart.

From belligerent to bizarre.

The alleged serial road rager accused of running two cars off northern California highways pleaded not guilty during a zany courtroom appearance Tuesday.

Deirdre Orozco pantomimed driving, flashed an "I love you" sign language gesture, proudly nodded and widely grinned as the charges against her were read.

Then she asked that her $250,000 bail be dropped to $100.

The 50-year-old attacked two drivers in a week, police said.

Here's video from one of the incidents.

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December 29, 2014

Genius decorators

Husband, 18, and wife, 42, 'stole $2,000 worth of Christmas ornaments from neighbors to decorate their own yard'

Police say 18-year-old Jeremy Lewallen and his 42-year-old wife, Carrie Carley, from Colorado Springs, have swiped $2,000 worth of holiday decorations from dozens of families in their neighborhood.

According to investigators, the pair of Grinches then used the pilfered Christmas displays to deck their own front yard, which ultimately has proven to be their undoing.

Police were tipped off about the sticky-fingered couple by a neighbor who had his display stolen and then spotted a very similar one on the suspects' property in Colorado Springs.

When questioned by police, Lewallen and his spouse more than 20 years his senior admitted to the thefts.

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December 25, 2014

Only in Japan (7)

Japan's Travel Agency For Stuffed Animals Is So Heartwarming

Stuffed animals are cooped up! They want to ditch your bed and bookshelves. They want to see the world. They want to travel. And, in Japan, they can.

Enter Unagi Travel. It dubs itself as a "travel agency for stuffed animals." For the past three years, Sonoe Azuma, 38, has been taking stuffed animals on holidays and day trips. This allows the owners of the stuffed animals, some of which are physically impaired, to live vicariously through the plush toys.

Travelogues are uploaded to Facebook, where the owners can follow what activities their stuffed animals are up to.

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December 24, 2014

To save us all from Thetans' power

The Scientology Christmas Catalog Is Totally Insane

Finding the right gift for everyone in your family can be a real bitch. Your mom just wants a phone call. Your dad wants you to find a job. These are not easy people to shop for. But what about your second cousin who moved to L.A., got introduced to Scientology by an actor friend, joined the church to make connections, and found himself amassing a fortune in credit-card debt while digging out a new infinity pool for David Miscavige? I would argue that he's the hardest relative to shop for. After all, what do get for you the man who has nothing?

Thankfully, the Church of Scientology has compiled this handy catalog of L. Ron-approved holiday merchandise. Please note the ORDER NOW—PRICES INCREASE ON JANUARY 1ST banner across the cover of this thing. Normally, prices go down after peak shopping season. Ah, but in the Church of Scientology, the holiday means a generous discount on being blatantly defrauded. SO ACT NOW BEFORE THAT E-METER TRIPLES IN PRICE!

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December 23, 2014

Oops (31)

This is just one of many amusing correction notices that appeared in print.

The year in media errors and corrections 2014

[..]

The Economist:

In a leader last month (Of bongs and bureaucrats, January 11th) we said that The Economist first proposed legalising drugs in 1993. In fact we argued for it in a cover story in 1988. Who says drug use doesn't damage long-term memory?

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December 22, 2014

Taking 'Bah, humbug!' up a notch

How One Man Is Terrorizing Neighbors With a Hostile Holiday Decoration Display

Homeowners on Fairley Road in Ross Township, Pennsylvania, say their neighbor Bill Ansell is terrorizing them year round with his hostile anti-Christmas spirit.

"Any opportunity he has to make our life a hardship, he does," resident Chris Hebda told ABC News' "20/20."

"He's an angry person that's very unstable," resident Pamela Heck told "20/20."

Ansell, an electrician, has a display on his yard that features a beheaded choir, a hanging Mickey Mouse and even a urinating Santa Claus that lights up at night.

Neighbors Chris and Joanne Hebda said they have had to stare at the unpleasant decorations for the past six years. Fairley Road is a unique cul-de-sac; a circular street with Ansell's house right in the middle, surrounded by six other homes. That makes it hard to avoid his handiwork.

"There was a Virgin Mary here, and he placed a knife through her head, right there on the edge of our driveway," Joanne Hebda told "20/20." "I thought it was a terroristic threat."

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December 21, 2014

Somebody set up us the bomb

Sony Hack: Activists to Drop 'Interview' DVDs Over North Korea Via Balloon

Whether or not North Korea is behind the Sony hack, Kim Jong Un better brace himself because The Interview is headed to his country. Human rights activists are planning to airlift DVDs of the Seth Rogen comedy into the country via hydrogen balloons.

Fighters for a Free North Korea, run by Park Sang Hak, a former government propagandist who escaped to South Korea, has for years used balloons to get transistor radios, DVDs and other items into North Korea — not to entertain the deprived masses, but to introduce them to the outside world.

In the past two years, the Human Rights Foundation in New York, created by Thor Halvorssen, has been helping bankroll the balloon drops, with the next one set for January. The Interview likely won't be out on DVD then, but Halvorssen says he'll add copies as soon as possible.

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December 19, 2014

Heh (17)

"Hey, let's steal a car we can't drive!" What maroons...

Stick shift defeats carjackers in downtown Ocala

Police say two carjackers almost got away with a vehicle near Ocala's downtown skating rink Wednesday night — but they didn't know how to drive a stick shift.

Ocala Police Department officers spoke with the owner of a 2014 Toyota Corolla near the city's ice skating rink. The man told them he was sitting in his car talking on his cellphone when a man with a gun tapped on the driver's side window. Another man stood by the passenger's side window. [...]

The victim handed over the keys and quickly walked away from the car and headed west toward Southeast First Avenue. He said he saw the robbers trying to drive away, but they had trouble making the car move.

The victim, meanwhile, stopped another motorist and asked the person to call police. Before officers arrived, the robbers ran from the car, which still had the keys in the ignition.

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December 18, 2014

The happiest mile you'll ever run

The Beer Mile: Chug Four, Run One

After church one Sunday morning, 44-year old Chris Kimbrough rolls by the Bailey Middle School track in Austin, Texas, craning her neck to see if anyone is occupying the oval. She takes note of a man sauntering slowly down the backstretch at the otherwise vacant facility. Satisfied, she sinks her foot into the accelerator of her Toyota Sienna and races home.

"The track is empty, let's go!" she says to her husband as she throws on her running clothes and blue New Balance training shoes. She grabs four cans of a local craft brew and a stopwatch as they rush out the door. [...]

On her husband's mark, the 5-foot-3-inch, 108-pound Kimbrough cracks open a can of the ale and throws her head back, letting it drain down her throat like a fraternity pledge. Ten seconds later, the can is empty. She tosses it to the grassy infield and takes off on her first lap, barreling around the worn, rust-colored rubber track.

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December 17, 2014

Mobile mistletoe mishap

Drone strike! Our photographer injured by TGI Friday's mistletoe copter

Turns out a moment of awkwardness wasn't the worst that could happen when a popular family restaurant chain unleashed indoor aircraft with the mission of prompting diners to kiss on camera.

TGI Friday's much-hyped "Mobile Mistletoe" drones drew first blood in their New York City debut on Dec. 4 at the chain's beloved Sheepshead Bay location when one of them hit our intrepid photographer right in the face.

The two remote-controlled helicopters dangling sprigs of mistletoe were intended to spread holiday romance, but one of them flew out of control and clipped Courier photographer Georgine Benvenuto in the nose with one of its spinning, uncovered blades.

"It literally chipped off a tip of my nose," said Benvenuto, using tissues to stanch the blood. "It took off part of my nose and cut me here, right under my chin."

Benvenuto said she's just thankful she wasn't blinded in the name of love.

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December 16, 2014

I'll bet you could have lots of fun with this

Though perhaps not in the way it's intended.

Wakie, The Social Alarm Clock That Lets You Wake Up Strangers, Finally Arrives On iOS

"Hey there, I'm just calling to wake you up," I said a little awkwardly.

"Thanks. Where are you from?" replied a female voice with a thick Irish accent.

"The UK. You're from Ireland, right?"

"How could you tell?" she said wryly.

"The flag at the top of the screen."

It took 9 months to be approved, but, Wakie — the 'social alarm clock' that lets you wake up (and be woken up by) strangers — has finally arrived on iOS. [...]

"Most people hate alarm clocks, billions of people feel unhappy every day with these classic ringers and ding-congers," Wakie co-founder and CEO Hrachik Adjamian tells me. "We make people happy with the voice of friendly strangers from all over the world who try to make you smile in the morning. A lot of people who use our service say that they started to love mornings. The better you start your day the better you feel yourself for the rest of the day."

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December 12, 2014

What could possibly go wrong?

This startup wants to pay you to fly with strangers' stuff in your luggage

Fast-growing startups Uber and Airbnb have turned idle drivers and apartment owners into on-demand chauffeurs and hoteliers. Now a new company wants to apply the peer-to-peer "sharing economy" formula to the age-old courier industry.

Indianapolis-based Carry, which launched yesterday, is a new take on long-distance package shipping. Instead of using FedEx, UPS, or the postal service, the marketplace matches people who need something delivered with travelers who are taking the same route. Current listings are seeking someone to take an iPhone to Mexico from Los Angeles for $350, and bring medication from London to New York for $44.

As with Airbnb, Carry is trying to take advantage of an under-utilized resource—in this case, the unused space in your suitcase. If you're already going on a trip, it's a potential way to defray vacation costs. And Carry is pitching itself as a cheaper alternative to express shipping.

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December 11, 2014

It's on the house

So much for the old adage, "Never pick a fight with people who buy ink by the barrel."

From Dallas's top kitchens, reviewer Leslie Brenner is feeling the heat

DALLAS — Leslie Brenner's money is no good at Proof + Pantry. Or at Lark on the Park, Spoon, Meddlesome Moth and a number of other restaurants here. These free meals are not intended as bribes to influence the Dallas Morning News restaurant critic into writing a positive review.

No, they're intended to prevent a review altogether.

In early November, after a town-hall-style meeting, at least 10 Dallas-area restaurants agreed to adopt a practice first employed in October at Proof + Pantry, where the owners refused to present Brenner with a bill, setting off a widely publicized standoff over who would eventually pocket the $500 that the critic left in cash to cover the check. (Short answer: charity.) The policy is designed to generate either an ethical conflict for the critic, who cannot accept freebies, or an embarrassing public scene, which would cast doubt on the critic's ability to write a fair review.

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December 09, 2014

Is that a rocket in your pocket?

Booker Winner Ben Okri Nabs Bad Sex Prize

The Literary Review sent an unmistakable message to authors at a ceremony in London on Wednesday: If you're going to write a sex scene, it's probably best not to mention rockets — symbolic or otherwise. The magazine awarded its 22nd annual Bad Sex in Fiction prize to Nigerian poet and novelist Ben Okri, a man who did just that in his latest novel, The Age of Magic.

Okri's past accolades — he, after all, did win the Booker Prize in 1991 — didn't spare him from the dubious honor, which recognizes "poorly written, perfunctory or redundant passages of sexual description in modern fiction." Nor did their plaudits spare Haruki Murakami, Richard Flanagan (who won this year's Booker) or Michael Cunningham, all of whom shared the Bad Sex shortlist with Okri.

Presumably, though, it was the rocket that launched Okri to his win.

"She felt certain now that there was a heaven and that it was here, in her body," Okri wrote, in one safe-for-work section of the offending sex scene, all of which can be read here. "The universe was in her and with each movement it unfolded to her. Somewhere in the night a stray rocket went off."

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December 08, 2014

Don't try this at home

I assume that 'Sony' actually means 'someone at Sony'.

Sony Hid Passwords in a Folder Called 'Password'

(Newser) – The latest document dump in the Sony hack has exposed thousands of the company's passwords for various accounts, reports BuzzFeed. The reason this came to light so quickly? The passwords were kept in a file directory called "Password." Among them are hundreds of usernames and passwords for movies' social accounts on Facebook, YouTube, and Twitter, but also plenty of clearly labeled passwords for everything from Amazon to Fidelity financial services.

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December 04, 2014

What Aggies have been saying for years

The case of 100 missing brains at the University of Texas

The University of Texas reports that some of its brains are missing.

About 100 brain specimens are missing, to be more exact, possibly swiped by students over the years from a brain collection stored in formaldehyde.

The brains, used as a teaching tool, belonged to all sorts of people, according to the Austin-American Statesman, most of whom are unknown. One of the known brains, the paper reported, probably belonged to Charles Whitman, the sniper who climbed the 307-foot Texas clock tower in Austin in 1966 and unleashed a barrage of gunfire, taking the lives of 16 people and injuring many others.

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December 02, 2014

Got wood? (4)

Man marries tree… again

A Peruvian actor and environmentalist got married to a tree in Bogota on Sunday as a way to raise awareness about environmental issues facing the planet.

People gathered in Bogota's national park on Sunday to watch Richard Torres tie the knothole with the tree, which he confirmed by planting a kiss on its trunk.

No doubt it was a sappy occasion.

It's actually the third time he's married a tree, after saying "I do" to a tree in Buenos Aires last November, and in Peru the previous June.

Sure, he says he cares so much about trees, but he seems perfectly happy to break their wooden hearts.

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December 01, 2014

I hope it wasn't humming a tune

Scientists study rare tapeworm living in man's brain

LONDON - Scientists in Britain are studying a rare tapeworm that lived in a man's brain for four years, researchers said on Friday.

It was the first time the tapeworm, Spirometra erinaceieuropaei, was reported in Britain. Only 300 cases have been reported since 1953

The parasite travelled five centimetres (two inches) from the right side of the brain to the left.

The tapeworm causes sparganosis, an inflammation of body tissues that can cause seizures, memory loss and headaches when it occurs in the brain.

Surgeons removed it and the patient is now "systemically well", the Wellcome Trust Sanger Institute said.

It was the first time the tapeworm, Spirometra erinaceieuropaei, was reported in Britain. Only 300 cases have been reported since 1953.

The tapeworm is thought to be caught by accidentally eating small infected crustaceans from lakes, eating raw amphibian or reptile meat, or by using a raw frog poultice which is a Chinese remedy for sore eyes.

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November 28, 2014

Sans-culottes

I'd be more impressed if this had happened in Minneapolis, but still....

Yes, People Will Strip To Their Underwear And Wait Outside In The Cold For Free Stuff

What would you do for the promise of a couple pieces of free clothing? Just think of all the college freshmen who signed away their financial futures by applying for credit cards at orientation (before such marketing was outlawed). A line of 100 or so shoppers in San Francisco may not have to worry about ruining their credit score, but photos of them shivering in their skivvies will probably follow them forever.

SFGate.com reports on a pre-Black Friday promotion run earlier today [11/25] at the San Francisco store of Barcelona-based retailer Desigual, which offered free shirts and tops to the first 100 people who lined up sporting only their undies.

People began showing up around 9 a.m. this morning, when the temperature was around 50 degrees.

"They don't allow jackets, but they allow accessories," said one lingerie-clad woman. "So I brought a hot-water bottle."

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November 27, 2014

Board game rage

Someone called police because his girlfriend slapped him?

Woman faces assault charge after Monopoly game gets out of hand

HOOKSETT — An argument during a game of Monopoly turned nasty when a local woman slapped her boyfriend across the face and ended up in handcuffs on an assault charge, police said.

Alyssa Ferraro, 21, is charged with domestic violence-related simple assault.

Police said it was 11:59 p.m. Sunday when officers went to 61 Post Road for a reported domestic disturbance.

Ferraro told officers she got into an argument with her boyfriend over a game of Monopoly and slapped him with an open hand in the face.

Police said the victim did not require medical attention.

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November 26, 2014

All about that baste (1)

From Now I Know

Turkey Basters

About 60 hours from now, give or take, most Americans will be eating something involving turkey. For reasons which probably have little to do with the Pilgrims, turkey has become a central part in the American Thanksgiving tradition. And like many other things, when it comes to turkey, more is better. So if you're in the business of raising turkeys for sale at the grocery store, you're also in the business of making bigger, meatier birds.

Which also means you have to artificially inseminate them. Probably. [...]

But bigger turkeys created a problem. Dubner quoted Julie Long, a research physiologist for the United States Department of Agriculture who focuses on the poultry sector. Turkeys, Long noted, have been bred to be so large that they can't sustain themselves as a species. Or, as long put it, "the modern turkey has quite large turkey breasts, and it actually physically gets in the way when the male and the female try to create offspring." So for these birds, "the birds and the bees" no longer works.

So, breeders have to step in. Long euphemistically described the process to Dubner: "Once a week, five to six months, you have to go work with the males and then go work with the females in order to produce the meat that goes out for the consumer." Dubner further estimated that nearly 100% of commercially sold turkeys are created via this process. So if you eat turkey on Thanksgiving, almost certainly, the outcome of the work described by Long ends up on your plate, next to cranberry sauce.

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November 24, 2014

I wonder if he dresses all in black

Man develops powerful love of Johnny Cash following deep brain stimulation

Brain implants have had the unexpected and intriguing side effect of causing a 60-year-old Dutch man to develop a sudden and powerful love for the music of Johnny Cash, a new paper reveals.

A case study in the journal Frontiers in Behavioural Neuroscience describes how "Mr B", a married man with a very severe form of obsessive compulsive disorder, developed the urge to listen to the country singer while receiving a form of treatment called deep brain stimulation. [...]

Within six weeks, it was clear the surgery had been effective. Mr B reported a sharp decline in anxiety and compulsive behaviours. The authors of the case study report note that he began to call himself "'Mr B II,' the new and improved version of himself."

Over the course of the next six months, an unexpected side effect started to emerge. It first happened, according to the report, when Mr B happened to hear the Johnny Cash song Ring of Fire on the radio. "From this moment on," the report says, "Mr B kept listening simply and solely to Johnny Cash and bought all his CDs and DVDs." [...]

However, when the batteries on the electrode implants run down, Mr B's musical taste returns to what it had been before the surgery: a few Dutch singers, and the Rolling Stones.

Title reference

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November 22, 2014

Slip stick, slide rule, M-I-T!

How Players at MIT Engineered a Football Team

CAMBRIDGE, Mass.—In the 1970s, on this campus known for scientific innovation, Massachusetts Institute of Technology students engineered a rather unlikely experiment: a football team.

MIT had no intercollegiate football squad at the time. The student body in 1901 voted 119-117 to discontinue it. So one day in 1978, a group of MIT students huddled and created a team that would play its first game that fall. No one else at the school had any clue.

There were times when fielding a football team at MIT seemed like rocket science. The students wore uniforms that once belonged to another college. They borrowed their playbook from a local high school. They were known as both the Beavers and the Engineers. Either way, they lost every game they played that year, and even one they didn't play.

But these football forefathers, who are nowhere to be found in MIT's record books, are now taking their victory lap. The student club they created eventually became a university-run varsity team. This season, 36 years after winning no games, the Engineers are undefeated and will make their first appearance in the National Collegiate Athletic Association's Division III playoffs on Saturday. [MIT appears to be heavily favored. - JdJ]

Art Aaron enrolled at MIT when the only competitive football there was played in an intramural league. The games were flag football, but the fraternity members of Sigma Alpha Epsilon and Lambda Chi Alpha would beat each other up when they took the field.

"It's a bit of an oxymoron," said Mr. Aaron, a defensive end on the 1978 team, "but we were two of the jock fraternities at MIT." [...]

According to people who were at the game, and accounts in the student newspaper, cheerleaders led a standing-room-only crowd in spelling out "Massachusetts Institute of Technology." The marching band, despite rumors it would consist of kazoos, blared the national anthem and chanted:

"Cosine, secant, tangent, sine
3 point 14159!
Integral, radical, mu, DV
Slip stick, slide rule, M-I-T!"

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November 20, 2014

I feel lucky (13)

Elderly couple survive when plane crashes into home: 'Not a scratch on them'

Luz Cazares woke Tuesday morning to a loud crash and the sight of a plane's tail sticking out from the home of her neighbors, a couple in their 80s, just blocks from Midway Airport.

"A big part of the airplane was in their living room," said Cazares, 62. "I thought they were dead."

But then Cazares looked through a window and saw Raymond and Roberta Rolinskas standing in the hallway outside their bedroom, inches away from the wreckage.

"I ran to the back of the yard, I jumped the fence and I knocked on the back door of the kitchen," Cazares said. "She (Roberta) opened the door and I took her outside. She was scared. She kept asking, 'What is happening? What is happening?'" [...]

The plane went down about a quarter of a mile from the airport, crashing through the front of the Rolinskases' home and coming to rest in the living room, its tail wedged against the roof of a neighboring house. The plane hit the right side and front of the house, 8 inches from where the couple were sleeping in a bedroom on the left side of the home, according to neighbors and fire officials.

"They were in a bedroom next to the living room, and the living room is gone," Fox told reporters. "Eight inches away. They were very lucky."

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November 18, 2014

Nice work if you can get it (13)

Professional video game player? For spectators, it's probably more fun to watch than golf.

No. 1 With a Bullet: 'Nadeshot' Becomes a Call of Duty Star

LOS ANGELES — Matt Haag, a professional video game player, makes close to a million dollars a year sitting in a soft chair smashing buttons. It is a fantastically sweet gig, and he will do about anything to keep it.

That is why, on a recent morning, he was in a bungalow in Venice Beach, Calif., making pancakes. Not just regular pancakes, but high-protein pancakes with ingredients like flax oil and chia seeds, whose balance of carbohydrates, fat and protein was created by a dietitian hired to teach him how to eat more healthily. [...]

Three years ago, he was flipping burgers at McDonald's. Today Mr. Haag, 22, skinny and blindingly pale, makes his living playing Call of Duty, a popular series of war games where players run around trying to shoot one another.

Mr. Haag has 1.5 million YouTube subscribers along with a lucrative contract to live-stream his daily game sessions online. Known as Nadeshot (shorthand for "grenade shot"), he travels the world playing tournaments as spectators pack arenas to see him. At home near Chicago, he has a problem with fans showing up at his house.

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November 17, 2014

Trapped

Crews free man caught in wall of Longmont business

A Westminster man trapped for three days between two walls of a Longmont business unsuccessfully attempted to pass distress notes outside.

One of them was written on his probation officer's business card.

"You can't make this stuff up," Longmont police Sgt. Cage said late Tuesday.

The Longmont Fire Department on Tuesday morning spent about a half hour freeing Paul Felyk from a vacant space between interior and exterior walls at the Marshalls Store at 205 Ken Pratt Blvd., eventually employing a K-12 saw and cutting a large hole in the side of the building.

Marshalls employees told police that they had heard a man yelling on Monday but didn't know where he was. On Tuesday, they again heard the man yelling and determined he was yelling through a hole in a back wall. He sounded like he was in pain, and a manager called police.

Cage said Felyk was unable to push the notes under the interior wall, and they were later found by first responders. [...]

Felyk dated one of the notes Nov. 8, leading police to believe that he had been stuck in between the walls since Saturday.

After firefighters opened the hold in the exterior wall, Felyk crawled out, lay down on a gurney and was whisked away to Longmont United Hospital.

Cage said the incident is being investigated as a possible burglary or trespassing and that charges are pending. Police also are looking into suspicious incidents at neighboring businesses involving their heating and electrical systems.

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November 14, 2014

They had her tattoos on file?

I'm guessing this is a woman with some stories to tell, if you know what I mean.

Cops: Woman pretends to be twin when pulled over

A woman pretended to be her twin sister in order to fake out police, but the deputy didn't fall for it.

According to a report from the Johnson County Sheriff's Office, a deputy pulled over a car around 7:40 p.m. Thursday because one of the headlights was out.

The deputy asked the driver to step out of the car. She said she didn't have anything to identify herself and said her name was Amy Alvey.

Records showed Amy's license was currently suspended. The deputy also noticed she had a twin sister named Andrea. The deputy cross-referenced the sisters' files and discovered they had tattoos on different parts of their bodies.

The deputy asked Alvey to step out of the car, and noticed the tattoos matched those of Andrea Alvey -- not Amy Alvey.

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November 13, 2014

So good you could eat it

Some pix at the links.

The Man Who Sees Art in Cheetos

By day, Andy Huot is a mechanical engineer -- one that designs "the equipment used to build aircraft parts." He's an intelligent man who choose his words wisely and provides straightforward answers. Goal-oriented and focused, he is rarely derailed by distractions.

By night, he creates art with Cheetos.

Over the past year, the Louisville, Kentucky man has spent hours dipping his hands into greasy bags, examining each puffed corn nugget with the shrewd intensity of a museum curator, and posting his unaltered findings on Instagram. Today, he has more than 40,000 followers from all around the world.

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November 12, 2014

Hey, it's always snowing somewhere

Evidently the headline writer doesn't know the difference between a bulldozer and a front-end loader.

Police: Drunk driver nabbed for taking bulldozer out onto the streets

MINNEAPOLIS -- A driver was arrested after taking a front-end loader out onto the streets over the weekend in Chisago County, CBS Minnesota reports.

According to the county sheriff's office, the driver took the piece of equipment out and was arrested at 1 a.m. Sunday.

Authorities said the driver believed it was snowing out. The snow didn't begin to fall in Minnesota until more than 24 hours later.

Officers said they determined the driver was indeed intoxicated, and he was subsequently taken into custody.

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November 11, 2014

Ouch! (14)

What would he have done with 99 iPhones if she'd said Yes?

Man Buys 99 iPhones to Propose to His Girlfriend; She Says No

He got 99 iPhones but gettin' hitched ain't done.

With "Singles' Day" looming in China (Nov. 11), one man thought the time was right to try to tie the knot with his girlfriend, preventing them both from having to participate in any future 11/11 festivities.

As a keystone of the young programmer's marriage proposal were 99 iPhones 6's placed on the ground and arranged in the form of a heart. The setup, as reported by The Nanfang, cost the love-bitten chap two years' salary (about $82,000).

But that evidently wasn't enough. She said no. Siri, how do you mend a broken heart?

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November 10, 2014

The Hunter S. Thompson method

Guy Goes To Mexico To Kill Himself, Spends Week [...], Decides To Keep Living

Two thousand dollars spent on a trip to Mexico, a cab ride, a seedy hotel room, excessive amounts of cocaine, and hooker orgies legitimately saved a man's life. This might be the first time anyone's ever said that. Don't know.

Amidst a battle of debilitating depression, he traveled to Mexico to purchase "chemicals" to humanely end his life. The aptly-named Reddit user, plzsendhalp, shares his story involving ripping lines of coke off hookers' tits, battling whiskey/coke dick with Viagra, multiple threesomes, and of course his will to finally live.

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November 07, 2014

Don't bogart the sugar, bro

Man Stabbed As Ménage A Trois Goes Wrong

FEBRUARY 13--A ménage a trois went horribly wrong last Friday when a North Dakota man stabbed another male participant when he refused to switch positions during the tryst, according to court records.

Ashley Hunter, 33, was charged this week with felony aggravated assault for allegedly stabbing Orlando DeWitt, 37, in the arm during the bizarre February 8 encounter. [...]

Cops report that Hunter and DeWitt--who met in prison--had been partying with several female acquaintances Friday night at a Fargo bar when they returned to Hunter's residence (after a 2:30 AM McDonald's pit stop).

DeWitt told police that he "began kissing on the couch" with one of the women, named Leticia. Soon, they were "under the covers and they had their pants off," which led, of course, to the new couple having sex. DeWitt added that he twice caught Hunter watching the living room action from his adjacent bedroom.

At one point, DeWitt reported, Hunter "came out of the bedroom and began kissing on Leticia's breasts." In short order, Leticia "began to perform oral sex on Hunter." It appears that DeWitt was continuing to have sex with Leticia while she was performing double duty. [...]

"Hunter then asked to switch places with Orlando," according to a Fargo Police Department report. "Orlando told him no and Hunter became upset." During the ensuing argument, DeWitt called Hunter a "fucking retard," which infuriated Hunter. He yelled at DeWitt and ordered him to leave the residence.

DeWitt [...] recalled that Hunter [...] reached into the couch and retrieved a 12-inch butcher knife. DeWitt and Leticia, both naked, fled to a bathroom. Hunter, knife in hand, subsequently forced his way into the bathroom and continued to threaten DeWitt.

“Orlando said he decided to run for the front door,” police reported. The nude DeWitt reached the home’s first door, but as he “went to open the exterior door he felt the knife cutting the back of his left arm.” While fleeing the home, DeWitt, who was not seriously injured, grabbed Leticia’s phone, which he used to call 911 from a nearby alley.

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November 06, 2014

So will they change the name?

Best whisky in the world' prize won by Japanese single malt for first time as Scottish distilleries lose out

To add insult to injury an English malt was awarded best European whisky

Scottish distilleries are in shock after a Japanese single malt was named the best whisky in the world.

Whisky expert Jim Murray described the Yamazaki Single Malt Sherry Cask 2013 as a drink of "near incredible genius", awarding it 97.5 marks out of 100 in the 2015 World Whisky Bible.

To add insult to injury it is the first time in the Whisky Bible's 12-year history that a Scottish malt has failed to make the top five drams. It is also the first year that a Japanese whisky claimed the highest accolade.

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November 05, 2014

Good luck with that

New ordinance allows police to ban smelly people from city buildings

The city of Burien is raising a stink over people who smell bad.

Last month, the city passed a new "trespassing ordinance" that bans a variety of behaviors, including hostile language, not enough clothes covering the body and bodily hygiene or scent in public places including parks, the King County Library, even Burien City Hall.

The law allows Burien Police to bar the offender from the public space for up to a year.

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November 04, 2014

A Polish scofflaw in Ireland

From Dan Lewis' "Now I Know" daily e-mail.

Prawo Jazdy: Ireland's Worst Driver

Fifty tickets. Everything from reckless driving and speeding to parking illegally. All in Ireland, over the course of a few short months, but never once apprehended nor brought to trial. Meet Prawo Jazdy.

Jazdy paraded around Ireland in 2007 racking up a pretty incredible record, avoiding punishment by having a ton of different IDs — probably as many as one per ticket. Different faces. Different addresses. Different ID numbers. Two are pictured, above.

The only thing consistent, beyond Jazdy's name, was his country of origin. (Even his gender was fungible.) And that clue led to his eventual downfall — or, rather, the downfall of the Irish officials seeking his capture.

While the Polish population of Ireland is relatively tiny, Poles nevertheless made up one of the larger immigrant populations there. (This was probably a function of Ireland's rampant economic growth, and many immigrants have since left Ireland since their economic collapse.) But the Garda Siochana — the police force of the Republic of Ireland — apparently never had a Polish speaker come in contact with the case file for the elusive Prawo Jazdy. For had such a person read the file, he or she would have noticed what a Garda office worker figured out:

It turns out that "Prawo Jazdy" is Polish for "driver's license."

The Garda put out a memo to officers on the topic, as noted here, to avoid any future problems regarding Mr. (or Ms.) Jazdy's driving.

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November 03, 2014

Like a bird on the wire

...like a drunk in some midnight choir.

Parachutist rescued from radio tower in south St. Louis County

Firefighters rescued a parachutist who got stuck on the guy wires of a radio tower in south St. Louis County late Thursday.

He and another man who helped him were arrested for trespassing.

Authorities got the call about the dangling parachutist 9:30 p.m. He was pulled to safety by rescuers from the Mehlville Fire Protection District about 11:45 p.m.

The man was about 155 feet high and about 20 feet from the tower, in the 5400 block of Butler Hill Road, said Brian Hendricks, chief of the Mehlville Fire Protection District.

"It appears this was a BASE jump that went wrong," Hendricks said. 

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October 31, 2014

Now they have drivers licenses?

Nice job on the make-up; photo at the link

Upstate New York woman arrested twice for DWI in 3 hours, once while in zombie makeup

A woman dressed as a zombie was busted for drunk driving — twice — during a three-hour binge in upstate New York.

Catherine Butler, 26, was first pulled over in Gates at 2 a.m. Saturday morning after cops spotted her driving without headlights, RochesterHomepage.net reports.

The woman was wearing a ghoulish costume after attending a Halloween party at the time of her arrest.

She was arrested, and a pal later picked her up from the Monroe County police station and took her to her home.

But, having apparently not learned her lesson, the Rochester native was then caught driving again — this time without the zombie makeup — less than three hours later, after officers spotted her swerving on a local road.

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October 30, 2014

Set a thief to catch a thief

Or something like that... same principle anyway.

Secret Service prostitution investigator resigns after own incident

The investigator who led the internal inquiry into the 2012 Secret Service prostitution scandal resigned in August, after he was implicated in his own incident involving a prostitute, according to a report from The New York Times.

Local law enforcement in Florida reportedly saw David Nieland, the investigator, going in and out of a building they were surveilling as part of a prostitution investigation. The prostitute later identified Nieland as a client.

He said the allegations were untrue in a statement to the Times. As of Tuesday, he had not been charged in connection with the incident.

Nieland is said to have resigned after he refused to answer questions from the Department of Homeland Security's Inspector General's Office. The DHS is the supervising agency of the Secret Service.

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October 28, 2014

Excuses, excuses

10 Hilarious excuses for calling in sick

"I accidentally got on a plane" was on the list of most dubious excuses for calling in sick to work, according to a recent survey by careerbuilder.com.

"I just put a casserole in the oven," "I need to tweak my botched plastic surgery," and "I broke my ankle after my leg fell asleep while I was sitting on the toilet," were among other hilarious, yet real, excuses that employers reported.

The survey found that 28 percent of employees called in sick when they were feeling well, down from 32 percent last year, and that one in four employers have caught an employee faking sick through social media.

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October 27, 2014

What are the odds? (2)

A review of The Improbability Principle: Why Coincidences, Miracles, and Rare Events Happen Every Day. (My emphasis below.)

Statistician David J. Hand Shows How the Seemingly Improbable Becomes a Sure Thing

Back in 1980, a woman named Maureen Wilcox played the Rhode Island and the Massachusetts lotteries at the same time. And she hit the correct numbers for both. Unfortunately, she picked all the correct Massachusetts numbers on her Rhode Island ticket and all the right Rhode Island numbers on her Massachusetts ticket. [...]

Hand notes the case of one Roy Sullivan, a seven-time loser in the lightning-strike lottery. Sullivan was a park ranger, so he upped his odds by being outdoors a lot. The same went for a sportsman named Major Walter Summerford, struck three times, whose gravestone took a shot four years after his death.

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October 24, 2014

But the nurses thought it was hilarious

This one really piques my curiosity.

Del. man sues after awaking in women's underwear

WILMINGTON, Del. — A Delaware man who says he awoke from a colonoscopy to find he was wearing pink women's underwear is suing a surgical center.

Andrew Walls of Dover filed the civil lawsuit in New Castle County Superior Court against the Delaware Surgery Center on Friday. It seeks unspecified damages.

A spokeswoman for the surgery center declined to comment on the case. [...]

Walls says he had not been wearing the underwear before being given anesthesia for the procedure.

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October 23, 2014

Like kicking a puppy

Homeland Security confiscates Royals underwear in Kansas City

Peregrine Honig says she just wanted to help celebrate the hometown team when she designed Lucky Royals boyshorts.

The panties, with “Take the Crown” and “KC” across the bottom, were set to be sold in Honig’s Birdies Panties shop Tuesday. But Homeland Security agents visited the Crossroads store and confiscated the few dozen pairs of underwear, printed in Kansas City by Lindquist Press.

“They came in and there were two guys” Honig said. “I asked one of them what size he needed and he showed me a badge and took me outside. They told me they were from Homeland Security and we were violating copyright laws.”

She thought that since the underwear featured her hand-drawn design that she was safe. But the officers explained that by connecting the “K” and the “C,” she infringed on major league baseball copyright. (The officials involved could not be immediately reached for comment.) [...]

Danielle Meister, Honig’s shop partner, says it was like something out of the movies, with the badges and all. But on the bright side, the officers were nice. She says you could tell “they felt like they were kicking a puppy.

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October 22, 2014

Feel the burn

Bunbury local discovered a spider had burrowed under his skin on Bali holiday

NOTHING tops off a holiday in Bali like discovering there is a spider burrowing under your skin.

Bunbury local Dylan Thomas' first trip to Bali last weekend was complete with a visit to the Bali International Medical Centre to have a tropical spider pulled out of his stomach.

21-year-old Dylan awoke after a quiet night in his four and a half star hotel room to find a bizarre red trail two inches from his naval and heading upwards.

"It was as if someone had scratched me with the tip of a knife," he said.

Later that evening, the trail had moved two or three inches higher.

When a concerned Dylan fronted up to the doctors early on Sunday morning, they told him it was a small insect bite, and gave him some antihistamine cream to rub on the red line.

Later that morning he awoke to blisters.

"That's when it became painful, it was a searing burn," he said.

He finally saw a dermatologist on Monday, who told him that it was something out of the ordinary.

Doctors extracted a tropical spider that had burrowed itself into the scar from Dylan's recent appendix removal.

"It was a bit bigger than the size of a match head," he said.

He has now earnt himself the nickname Spider-man.

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October 21, 2014

Smashing!

Riot breaks out at New Hampshire pumpkin festival

It wasn't the pumpkins they were smashing.

A quaint pumpkin festival in New Hampshire ended with tear gas, street fires and at least one flipped car on Saturday as mobs of college students and young people turned parts of the town of Keene into a free-for-all.

Social media footage from the scene showed revelers destroying street signs, throwing glass bottles, pushing barricades and hurling curses at the police.

“It’s (expletive) wicked,” Steven French, an 18-year-old from Haverhill, Mass., told the Keene Sentinel. “It’s just like a rush. You’re revolting from the cops. ... It’s a blast to do things that you’re not supposed to do.”

Keene police could not immediately be reached for comment Sunday, but the department arrested at least 49 people over the weekend in the normally sleepy town of 23,419, according to the Associated Press. [...]

The town's annual Keene Pumpkin Festival is one of its biggest events, bringing millions of dollars to local and state businesses and upwards of 70,000 attendees, according to some estimates. Attendees bring tens of thousands of pumpkins for the festivities.

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October 20, 2014

Yes, they do

Advert of woman's breasts posted on side of van causes 500 car crashes in just 24 hours

An advertisement showing a woman's bare breasts has reportedly caused more than 500 accidents in one day in a poorly-thought out PR campaign.

The photograph showing a woman cupping her breasts with a thin blue strip across the nipples was posted on the side of 30 vans in Moscow, Russia.

The advert simply read: 'They attract'.

But as the vans drove around streets in the city, cars started colliding with one another in their wake. It is thought 517 accidents happened in total. [...]

ADVTruck.ru, the company that organised the sign, said it would pay compensation to all those who crashed.

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October 17, 2014

Heads up! (3)

Beavers with parachutes in Idaho?

Just the title - "Transplanting Beavers by Airplane and Parachute" - of this 1950 report in the Journal of Wildlife Management raises questions. Like, for goodness sake, why? And how? Did they specially make tiny beaver-sized parachutes and goggles, and push them out of the cargo hold, one by one, like a tiny dam-making army? Once on the ground, did the beavers suffer post-traumatic stress from the sudden drop? Or did they spend the rest of their days mourning in rivers, longing for another taste of the sky?

Fortunately, the article by Elmo W. Heter from the Idaho Fish and Game Department answered all our questions. [...]

Heter doesn't say exactly how he and his colleagues came up with the idea of an airdrop. They got war surplus parachutes from the Idaho Forest Service, and placed the animals in boxes, one pair in each box. Settling on the release mechanism required some innovation:

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October 15, 2014

It's deja moo, all over again

Cow-suit wearers break world record at Cowaramup in WA's South West

A town in WA's South West has udderly smashed the Guinness World Record for the largest gathering of people dressed as cows.

The record was previously held by the town of Fairfax in Virginia, USA, where 470 people dressed as cows last year.

On Saturday a total of 1,352 people dressed in cow onesies to break the record at Cowaramup's Deja-Moo Country Fair.

The fair was held on the second anniversary of 32 cow statues being installed in the town's main street.

Jill Turton, from the Cowaramup Retailers Association, said the cows had helped with the branding of the town, long referred to by locals as "Cow-Town" in a nod to the region's dairy industry.

"We've become a minor destination in a way," she said.

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October 14, 2014

Going with the flow

UEA students urged to urinate in shower

University students are being urged to urinate in the shower in a bid to save water.

The Go with the Flow campaign is the brainchild of students Debs Torr and Chris Dobson, from the University of East Anglia (UEA) in Norwich.

They want the university's 15,000 students to take their first wee of the day while having their morning shower.

Mr Dobson, 20, said the idea could "save enough water to fill an Olympic-sized swimming pool 26 times".

The pair want those taking part to pledge their allegiance on Facebook and Twitter and have offered gift vouchers to the first people to join the challenge.

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October 13, 2014

Want to play chicken?

News from Wyoming

Disgruntled employee steals train

A jaunt on a stolen train Thursday ended in a crash and possible federal felony charges for the 22-year-old driver.

Derek Skyler Brux was charged Friday with reckless endangering, felony destruction of property and felony destruction, obstruction or removal of railroad track or fixtures after allegedly stealing a train from North Antelope Rochelle mine and driving it south 13 miles before plowing it into another train. [...]

The incident started when Brux, a utility coal operation for Rail Link, allegedly became upset about his supervisor's response to working conditions, according to an affidavit of probable cause filed in Circuit Court.

The disgruntled employee then unhooked some cars and drove the locomotive around what is described as a "loop" at the site and "pretty much squashed the 'expletive' outta their scales," Brux said, according to the affidavit.

Brux then called his supervisor and asked her if she wanted to play chicken, the affidavit says. He hung up the phone and then called the rail dispatch, advising personnel there he was going onto the main rail line.

Brux said he estimated he was going 60 mph for about 15 minutes before plowing through switch 1. He told deputies he did not know where he was headed and that he wanted to make Rail Link pay, the affidavit says.

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October 10, 2014

The urge to merge (2)

Couple Had Sex In Back Seat Of Police Cruiser

OCTOBER 8--After being arrested, a Wisconsin couple had sex in the back of a police cruiser, an encounter that was interrupted when a cop heard the woman "begin to moan loudly" while her legs were "touching the ceiling" of the vehicle, according to a criminal complaint.

Heather Basten, 29, and Travis Husnik, 33, were taken into custody by Oconto County Sheriff's Department deputies after their car was spotted drifting into oncoming traffic on August 3. [...]

While subsequently transporting the suspects, Deputy Adam Zahn "observed Travis lay onto of Heather in the backseat." The cop then saw "Heather's legs go up touching the ceiling and heard her begin to moan loudly."

Zahn stopped the cruiser, opened the rear door, and saw "Travis onto of Heather having sexual intercourse." The complaint does not indicate whether the lovebirds were handcuffed (though it seems likely).

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October 09, 2014

Got an iPhone 6 to "invest"?

Man offers to trade Detroit home for new iPhone 6 or iPad

A man is offering to swap his three-bedroom house in Detroit for a new iPhone 6 or 32GB iPad.

But there is no app to fix the brick house at 11954 Laing. The home is vacant and appears to have been scavenged by thieves. It sits on a block dominated by abandoned houses. And the owner owes $6,160 in property taxes, according to Wayne County records.

That hasn't stopped a real estate agent from calling it an "investor special" with a finished basement.

The homeowner was asking $3,000 for the brick house but has been unable to find a buyer.

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October 08, 2014

I'll drink to that (3)

Sounds to me like IPAs are prescribed. Cheers!

Main Ingredient Found In Beer Can Help Improve Memory

CORVALLIS, Oregon (CBS Seattle) – Beer is better for the brain than you might believe. A new study finds the frothy beverage can improve memory.

A researcher at Oregon State Universtity points to a compound found in hops, one of the main ingredients in beer, improved cognitive function in a group of mice.

The mice were given large doses of xanthohumol, a flavinoid found in hops. Flavonoids are compounds found in plants that often give them their color.

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October 07, 2014

Send in the clowns (again)

Danilo sends email about an old post from 2010. It sounds as though Tiririca wasn't the only clown running.

"Remember you posted a long time ago, that a clown was elected in Brazil? With several votes?
Yeah, happened again. And before you ask, no, i didn't vote for him. Never."

Brazilians re-elect clown with 1 million votes

BRASÍLIA – Brazilians re-elected a clown named Tiririca (Grumpy) to Congress on Sunday with one million votes, the second-highest number of any candidate, election officials said.

Tiririca was first elected to represent Sao Paulo in 2010, winning the most votes of any candidate in the country after running on the slogan "It can't get any worse."

Illiterate at the time, he had to learn to write his name to start his new job.

In four years, he never spoke on the floor, but had one of the best attendance records in the lower house.

His success spawned a flood of protest and gag candidacies in Brazil, where those standing for office can register under any name they like. [...]

The ballot for Sunday's elections featured five Barack Obamas, three Osama Bin Ladens, a Jesus, a Wonder Woman, a Brazilian 007, a Hamburger Face, a Rambo and a Crazy Dick.

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October 06, 2014

Mr. Ballsy

Man pushes giant testicle across America for cancer awareness

AUSTIN -- Testicular cancer survivor Thomas Cantley is pushing a giant ball across America to raise awareness for men's health.

He quit his job and sold his house to push a six-foot 'testicle' from Los Angeles to New York City after he was diagnosed with testicular cancer, according to his website. [...]

They call him "Mr. Ballsy" and you can find him on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, or his website.

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October 03, 2014

Shapewear is a thing?

Refunds ordered over caffeinated underwear

PORTLAND, Ore. (AP) - If you purchased caffeine-infused underwear because of promises it will make you thinner, federal regulators say you were hoodwinked - but at least you can get your money back.

The Federal Trade Commission announced Monday that two companies - Norm Thompson Outfitters of Oregon and Wacoal America Inc. of New Jersey - have agreed to refund $1.5 million to consumers who purchased "shapewear" that supposedly can reduce cellulite and fat because it is infused with caffeine, vitamin E and other things.

"Caffeine-infused shapewear is the latest 'weight-loss brew' concocted by marketers," Jessica Rich, director of the FTC's Bureau of Consumer Protection, said in a statement. "If someone says you can lose weight by wearing the clothes they are selling, steer clear."

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October 02, 2014

Here's your chance (2)

Photos at the link. (They're SFW.)

NYC Taxi Drivers 2015 Calendar

Back for year two, we hit the streets of New York to photograph some of the city's best-humored taxi drivers. These drivers put a face to one of the most dedicated workforces in NYC, driving day and night to transport New Yorkers and our guests alike. This year's calendar features three returning All-Stars and 10 new drivers, and debuts our first ever husband and wife driving duo. The drivers are shown in a playful mix of work and leisure, including a playdate with nine adorable puppies from Animal Haven shelter in Manhattan and some sensuous cookie consumption at New York's favorite bakery, Levain.

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September 30, 2014

I like to see an enterprising lad

12 Year Old Accused Of Stealing Two School Busses, Steals Truck

SPRINGFIELD - Local police said a 12 year old Springfield boy is at it again.

Michael Propst, who is accused of stealing two different school busses, is now charged with another count of grand theft auto. When talking with Springfield Police, they think Propst's home life is making him lash out by stealing these vehicles.

"Juvenile Justice called and told me 'In case you're not aware, he's on the loose again." That's what Springfield Police Chief Philip Thorne said he faced first thing Thursday morning.

Michael Propst, who's previously been charged with stealing two school buses, was now accused of stealing a 1990 Chevy truck from a neighbor.

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September 29, 2014

Underground beer

Bruges Will Cut Traffic With…an Underground Beer Pipeline

In the years since the De Halve Maan brewery opened a bottling facility outside Bruges in 2010, the company's faced a tricky logistics problem. It still brews beer at its original site downtown, just as it has for nearly five centuries. To get all that delicious beer to the new factory for filtration, bottling, and shipping, it uses trucks. Trucks that burn fuel, spew carbon and clog the city's cobblestone streets (which surely froths all that beer).

No more. The city council has approved the brewery's unusual but clever plan to save time and money while reducing emissions and congestion. It will build a pipeline to ferry the good stuff across town, underground. Yes, you read that right: A beer pipeline.

Instead of making the 3-mile drive in one of dozens of tankers that traverse town each day, the award-winning beer will flow through a 1.8-mile polyethylene pipeline, making the trip in 15 to 20 minutes. The pipeline will move 6,000 liters of beer every hour, De Halve Man CEO Xavier Vanneste told Het Nieuwsblad.

H.T. Paul

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September 27, 2014

Worked too well

D.C. news crew robbed while reporting on "sketchy" neighborhoods

Sometimes - but not always - news reporters get exactly what they are looking for when covering a story.

For one news crew from CBS News affiliate WUSA in Washington, D.C., they got a little more.

The news crew's vehicle was burglarized while they were working on a story about a controversial app that alerts people to "sketchy" neighborhoods, WUSA reports.

The crew had locked their news van on a street in Petworth in Northwest, D.C. while they were out in the neighborhood conducting interviews. When they returned they found the lock had been popped out of the door of their news van, and that most of the crew's gear had been stolen.

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September 26, 2014

Nothing to hide

As Twain said, "If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything."

Driver hands officer a joint instead of license

A man who was asked for his driver's license but instead handed the police officer a still-burning marijuana cigarette pleaded guilty in Accomack Circuit Court.

Jeffrey Clogg, 48, of Eden also told the officer the marijuana was laced with cocaine. He also said he had a bag of cocaine and a bag of marijuana in his pants pocket and that he had just bought it, according to court testimony.

"I handed him what I had because I knew it was the right thing to do," Clogg said from the witness stand.

"The defendant was very cooperative, spontaneously confessing to what he was doing," Deputy Commonwealth's Attorney Matthew Brenner told the court.

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September 25, 2014

Together again

Donkeys reunited at Polish zoo after sex scandal

WARSAW, Poland — Napoleon is now back with his Antosia.

The two amorous donkeys who were separated because of an outcry over their lovemaking have been reunited at a zoo in Poland.

The couple, together for 10 years, got into trouble when mothers expressed outrage that children had to witness their mating. Local conservative official Lydia Dudziak took up their cause and persuaded the director of the zoo in Poznan to have the animals put in separate pens.

The zoo acknowledged making a mistake Thursday and said the donkeys are again in one pen after about a week apart. [...]

The interruption of the long-standing romance turned into a national news item in Poland in the past days. Nearly 7,000 people signed a petition to have them reunited.

Two fan pages appeared on Facebook devoted to their cause, with a total of nearly 10,000 likes — and photos of donkeys in the act.

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September 24, 2014

Happy Halloween

Barry Manilow Halloween Surprise: "I Sing with Dead People" Duets with the Deceased

Oh my god. Hilarious. Barry Manilow has recorded an album of duets with dead people. They are all dead. Dead, dead, dead. And he's releasing it a few days before Halloween on October 27th.

After all, Barbra Streisand and Tony Bennett have duets albums. Why not Barry? Of course, Barbra did resurrect Elvis for her album. Now it's Barry's turn to be the crypt keeper.

And what a group! Judy Garland, Marilyn Monroe and Jimmy Durante he got from one of those Hollywood Boulevard souvenir shops. Whitney Houston? Why not Michael Jackson? (Probably couldn't get permission.) Barry's also got Andy Williams, Louis Armstrong, "Mama" Cass Elliot, Sammy Davis Jr., Dusty Springfield, John Denver, and Frankie Lymon.

"My Dream Duet" is the name of the album. Barry didn't dream of singing with people who were alive– and breathing. No, it was a visit to the cemetery that turned him on.

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September 22, 2014

Hallelujah!

Scientist Tries To Crowd Surf To Handel's 'Messiah,' Gets Kicked Out Of Concert By Concertgoers

"Punk as f--k" isn't typically how leading theoretical chemists are referred to in the media. But this week, Dr. David Glowacki, a respected American chemist and Royal Society research fellow in London, earned that description after he was kicked out of a classical music concert for attempting to crowd surf during a performance of Handel's "Messiah."

Quoting witnesses, the Telegraph reports that Glowacki was enjoying a performance at the Bristol Old Vic in Bristol, England, and was "so overcome during the 'Hallelujah Chorus' he began lurching from side to side with his hands raised and whooping before attempting to crowd surf."

Tom Morris, the artistic director of the Bristol Old Vic, had previously invited the audience to "clap and whoop" with abandon during the performance. However, Morris admits that Glowacki, currently a visiting professor at Stanford University, was perhaps "over-excited" during the show, the Irish Independent notes.

Audience members reportedly became irritated with the antics and physically removed the scientist from the venue.

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September 19, 2014

Sounds like a terminal case

Man calls and texts ex 21,807 times, admits stupidity

Gentlemen, about your lost love.

It may be that the breakup was your fault, that you're an obstinate, thoughtless, misguided, misunderstood eccentric who doesn't deserve even a hug.

It may also be that she was a mendacious manipulator with a brain the size of a 12-inch pianist's and the empathy of an inebriated worm.

When it's over, texting or calling her a couple of times in the hope of a reconciliation is understandable. But when your texting and calling gets to 20 unanswered, it really is time to stop.

When it gets to 21,807, it's time to check yourself into a secure facility.

I mention this number because of a Frenchman from Rhone, located in southern France, who demanded his ex say thank you for work he had done to improve her apartment.

They had broken up in 2011. However, as Agence France-Presse reported Friday, he bombarded her with requests over a 10-month period to either pay him for his work, or at least show gratitude.

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September 18, 2014

More mushroom magic

Hallucinogen in 'magic mushrooms' can help smokers quit: Study

The hallucinogen found in "magic mushrooms" helps longtime smokers quit, a new study from John Hopkins University in Maryland has found.

The researchers warned, however, this is not a "do-it-yourself" way to break the habit.

As part of the small study, 15 participants who smoked an average of 19 cigarettes a day were given psilocybin — the active hallucinogenic agent in magic mushrooms — and monitored.

After six months, 80% of the smokers had quit completely, which researcher Matthew Johnson said is much higher than with other smoking cessation drugs.

Varenicline, which is widely considered the most effective smoking cessation drug, has a 35% success rate.

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September 17, 2014

When pigs fly

Farmer sets up zip wire for pigs

A Chinese farmer set up a zip wire for his pigs to stop them doing a runner when he takes them to market.

Sying P'an was fed up with his prized pigs running off whenever he takes them to town in the Chongning area of Weinan, in Shaanxi province.

So he dreamed up this bizarre invention to get them from truck to truck so quickly their trotters do not even touch the ground.

Sying, 43, created a series of harnesses and pulleys based on the Navy's bosun's chair that allows him to 'fly' each pig straight to its new owner's trailer.

Sying said: "At every market a few escape artists would always cause me trouble and often I would never get them back.

"You only have to lose a few and that makes the whole load a loss maker."

The harness has to take the strain of the 100kg [220 lb - JdJ] pigs while a complicated system of pulleys allows Sying to transport each porker into the truck of his latest customer.

"I get a lot of people coming to the town when I am there just to see the pigs sailing through the air," he added.

"They're all healthy and they land in good condition - they don't seem to mind the journey when they see the other pigs are not harmed, pigs are smart animals."

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September 15, 2014

Smart phone placebo

It can’t make calls. It can’t send e-mail. It’s the NoPhone.

Forget about the iPhone 6. Dutch designer Ingmar Larsen has helped create a new phone that is shatterproof, battery-free and toilet-bowl resistant.

Sure, it doesn’t have all the fancy features of an iPhone — say, the ability to make and receive calls — but Larsen says it’s better. His product, dubbed the “NoPhone,” lets you actually communicate with people.

“Nowadays you see people staring at their mobile phone in social situations,” Larsen told The Washington Post. “They forget about the social contact, the things going on in the world.”

The NoPhone is an antidote to “smartphone addiction” (an epidemic severe enough to merit its own WebMD page). Manufactured via 3D printer to be the exact size and weight as an iPhone, the NoPhone operates as a kind of “smart phone placebo” — it has the comforting heft and feel of an Apple product, without the distracting e-mail notifications, Internet access and phone-call-making capabilities.

With the NoPhone, people can feel safe leaving their real phones at home, and the product’s sleek design saves them from that “unsettling feeling of flesh on flesh” when closing their hands.

H.T. Paul

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September 12, 2014

Just another smelly day in paradise

San Diego Cabbies Cry Foul Over Body Odor Test

Body odor is among 52 criteria that officials at San Diego International Airport use to judge taxi drivers. Cabbies say that smacks of prejudice and discrimination.

For years, inspectors with the San Diego Regional Airport Authority run down their checklist for each cabbie — proof of insurance, functioning windshield wipers, adequate tire treads, good brakes. Drivers are graded pass, fail or needs fixing.

Anyone who flunks the smell test is told to change before picking up another customer.

Leaders of the United Taxi Workers of San Diego union say the litmus perpetuates a stereotype that predominantly foreign-born taxi drivers smell bad. [...]

Drivers wonder how inspectors determine who reeks. [...] Airport authority spokeswoman Rebecca Bloomfield said there is "no standard process" to testing.

Others drivers question how inspectors distinguish between them and their cars. The checklist has a separate item for a vehicle's "foul interior odors," which Bloomfield says may include gasoline, vomit or mildew.

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September 11, 2014

Indeed

Picture at the link.

Heavy Meta: Maine Man, 19, Poses For New Mug Shot Wearing T-Shirt With Photo Of His Old Mug Shot

In a marvelously meta moment, a 19-year-old last week posed for a jail booking photo while wearing a t-shirt with a reproduction of the mug shot taken of him after a June arrest for drunk driving.

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September 10, 2014

Corporate songbook

Tripping through IBM’s astonishingly insane 1937 corporate songbook

"For thirty-seven years," reads the opening passage in the book, "the gatherings and conventions of our IBM workers have expressed in happy songs the fine spirit of loyal cooperation and good fellowship which has promoted the signal success of our great IBM Corporation in its truly International Service for the betterment of business and benefit to mankind."

That’s a hell of a mouthful, but it’s only the opening volley in the war on self-respect and decency that is the 1937 edition of Songs of the IBM, a booklet of corporate ditties first published in 1927 on the order of IBM company founder Thomas Watson, Sr.

H.T. Paul

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September 09, 2014

Oops (28)

Police: Arkansas Man Butt-Dials Victim While Allegedly Planning His Murder

It was probably the worst time to make a butt-dial.

Larry Barnett, 68, was deep in the midst of negotiating a hit against his former employee, James Macom, 33, when he inadvertently called his intended victim, police said today.

As Macom listened, Police said Barnett discussed with another man how he should kill Macom, stressing the importance of making the hit seem like an accident.

“It’s not that common, obviously, to hire a hit man,” Doug Formon, a spokesman for the Jonesboro Police Department, told ABC News. “But it’s very uncommon for someone to be having that conversation and to call the victim in the middle of it.”

Amongst the things that Macom overheard Barnett telling the alleged hit man was Macom’s home address and personal information, police said. In addition to instructions to “make it look like an accident,” Barnett allegedly said he “did not care if you have to burn his house to the ground with him in it.”

Macom and Barnett had been on bad terms for a while, Formon said. The two had an ongoing dispute over the ownership of a vehicle, and Macom had also filed claims against Barnett for lost wages, Formon said.

“I owe the little son of a b—- a bunch of money and if he’s gone, I don’t have to pay for it,” Barnett allegedly said to the unknown man, whom he promised to pay $5,000 up front to begin with, according to Macom’s report to the cops.

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September 05, 2014

Breaking church

Illinois women charged with cooking meth in church

HILLSBORO, Ill. • Two southern Illinois women were charged with cooking methamphetamine in a church in a rural area near Hillsboro.

Judith Hemken, 53, of Litchfield, and Tiffany Burton, 26, of Hillsboro, were charged Wednesday with participation in manufacturing methamphetamine, The State Journal-Register reported. They could each face nine to 40 years in prison if convicted. [...]

Undersheriff Rick Robbins said authorities responded to a call Tuesday from a Waveland Church member about an apparent meth lab. The member said he had stopped at the church to investigate suspicious activity after the church was closed. He said he saw two women there and what looked like components of a meth lab, before the women took off in a car.

Robbins said deputies stopped a vehicle the church member had described, and then arrested the women. It's unclear if they have ties to the church.

"We don't know if they were members," Robbins said. "There was no conversation on why they chose the church."

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September 04, 2014

If they're scaring birds away, I'll stay home

Feds: Nudists Scaring Off Rare Birds From Beach

MANATEE COUNTY, Fla. (CBS Tampa) – The U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service say that nudists are scaring off rare birds on Passage Key.

The Passage Key was established to protect native birds and serve as a breeding ground for them, but recently has been home to sandbars and is a popular destination for nudists.

"It is a federal crime to walk on the island," a Fish and Wildlife Service spokesperson told WFLA-TV. "Nudists are allowed to wade in the water off-shore, but are prohibited by law from being on the island."

The island is monitored by federal officials on weekends and the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservative Commission helps out during the week, but due to the island being so remote, it is difficult to patrol it seven days a week.

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September 03, 2014

It can't be any worse than kidney pie

Time to think of squirrel pie

Kentucky's squirrel season came in yesterday, two weeks earlier than Ohio's.

Nuts and acorns are ripening and hunters intent on keeping a family tradition alive should find good populations of red, grey and fox squirrels deep in the woods, in the hollows and on the hilltops.

Squirrels can live up to 15 years, so now and then the meat hunter may bring home one a bit tough. Squirrel meat is sweet, lean, and nutritious and can be very tender when properly prepared and cooked.

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August 29, 2014

Must have been a heck of a party

IEDs, chickens, marijuana among debris in crash

AMMA, W.Va. —West Virginia state police arrested a Pennsylvania man after he wrecked on Interstate-79 in Roane County early Friday morning, revealing guns and improvised explosive devices among the wreckage.

Seth Grim, 20, was taken into custody and was being held in the South Central Regional Jail. He faces charges of possession with intent to distribute marijuana after troopers found an pot in the vehicle.

What started as a routine response to a motor vehicle accident blossomed into a full-blown security scare for first responders.

Roane County 911 received a call of the wreck near the Amma exit about 3:30 a.m. Firemen arrived on the scene and found the single SUV had rolled over and was in the median. [...]

Fire fighters also discovered about 40 live chickens that had been inside the vehicle were running wild around the accident scene.

However, the story turned from amusing to frightening when suspicious items were found and the state police bomb technicians were called to the scene. The entire interstate was shut down for more than a half-hour between the Wallback and Ama exits. It finally reopened around 8:30 a.m. [...]

Troopers now say the IEDs were actually altered fireworks. They were removed from the scene and rendered harmless. Troopers also confiscated guns from the scene, but did not indicate what caliber, type, or how many were in the vehicle.

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August 28, 2014

Boldly going

Why do Russian cosmonauts pee on a tire before space launches?

We all have our own odd traditions, and astronauts and cosmonauts are no different. In fact, you could even argue that since their jobs are a bit, well, high-stress, their traditions are proportionately weird. For example: in Russia, before the cosmonauts board their craft for blastoff, they make sure to pee on a tire. But why? [...]

Apparently it all goes back to Yuri Gagarin, the first man ever to undertake a spaceflight. Legend has it that he took a pitstop on the right rear tire of the bus taking him to the launch pad on April 12, 1961. Though it was probably done out of necessity and not the desire to start a quirky tradition, the man's a national hero, and other cosmonauts started to emulate him. Five decades later, they're still boldly going ... so to speak.

Via Now I Know

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August 27, 2014

Bathroom sweets

Completely Chocolate Bathroom Can Be Yours for Just $133,000

(NEW YORK) -- Got a spare $133,000? Consider purchasing this entirely edible chocolate bathroom. We're talking a bathtub, toilet, sink, basin and bidet all made of 100 percent Belgian chocolate.

Created as a funny response to the fact that online shoppers looking to buy a new bathroom suite are commonly misspelling the word and searching for bathroom "sweets," Bathrooms.com partnered with British chocolatier Choccywoccydoodah to create this lavish lavatory.

"We decided to answer their search, literally," Bathrooms.com CEO Ian Monk said in a press release. "[It] was initially a bit of fun, but once we realized it was possible to actually make, we decided to buy Bathroomsweets.com and list the product."

Yes, that's right; you can actually order this bathroom and get it shipped worldwide (note: it's not functional). The full suite retails for £80,000, or around $133,000 and clocks in at a whopping 9.4 million calories. If you're feeling a little thrifty, you can also purchase items a la carte, like the toilet for a mere $23,000 and 980,000 calories.

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August 26, 2014

Not-so-permanent ink

Tattoo removal business booming as inked teens grow up

The year is 2001. Eighteen-year-old Rees Barnett impulsively walks into a tattoo parlour and picks the trendiest designs off the wall display: a tribal arm band and a shoulder tribal tattoo. But over the years, both those symbols quickly went from cool to ​cliché, leaving Barnett with tattoo regret. "Unfortunately, I can't blame it on booze," he said. "[It's] one of those bad decisions that you wake up and realize, oh crap, I'm stuck with these."

Now, at age 32, the pension fund analyst is erasing this part of his past at Precision Laser Tattoo Removal in Toronto. A technician zaps his two tattoos with a laser while Barnett endures much more pain than when he got inked. "It almost feels like you're getting electrocuted, pinched all at once and times that by 10." There's also the painful price tag. In total, he'll spend an about $5,000 on multiple treatments over the course of about a year. The original tattoos cost him around $400.

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August 25, 2014

I'm betting he didn't get married after all

Groom fakes his own death to get out of wedding

Pro-tip: When faking one's death to get out of a wedding, do a much better job than this guy.

We've all been there—the relationship isn't working out, but you just can't find the nerve to break up. It's not easy. Breaking up with someone and firing someone are probably the two most dreaded conversations a person can have. But there's no way out of it—you have to steel your nerve and go in head first. Unless you happen to be Tucker Blandford, in which case you can just fake your own death.

Blandford wanted to call off his engagement to British fiancee Alex Lanchester. The two had met in college in Connecticut when Lanchester was studying in the States for a year. They got engaged last year before Lanchester returned home at the end of semester, and their plan was to get married in Connecticut last week.

Apparently getting cold feet and unable to face the conversation himself, Tucker decided to fake his own death to get out of the engagement. Where it gets really sociopathic, however, is that he called Lanchester himself, assuming a fake voice and pretending to be his father, to tell his fiancee that he was dead.
groom faked death to cancel wedding Groom fakes his own death to get out of wedding

"Alex, this is Tucker's dad," he told her. "There's no easy way to say this… I am sorry to say that Tucker is dead." Alex says Tucker went on to say he'd been "suffering from depression and had thrown himself in front of a car."

Understandably, she freaked out. She then called Tucker's mother to give condolences and was doubly shocked to learn that she had no idea what Alex was talking about and that Tucker was indeed alive and well. She was triply shocked to learn that Tucker's mom had no idea they were engaged.

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August 22, 2014

TGFB (26)

Bacon-fueled motorcycle makes cross-country trip

When biodiesel was all the rage a few years ago, it was a running joke that you could get behind a car powered by cooking oil scavenged from the deep fryer at a local fast food joint and get a whiff of French fries. In the last few weeks if you were driving between Minnesota and California, you may have been passed by a motorcycle with an exhaust that smelled like fried bacon.

Hormel, the brand synonymous with packaged meat products, created a motorcycle fueled by bacon grease and sponsored a road trip from the company's headquarters in Austin, Minnesota, to San Diego. The destination: the Hormel Black Label Bacon Fest that takes place over the last week of August.

But as any road-tripper knows, the real destination is the journey. Or in this case, the chance for Hormel to promote one of its premier products through a series of videos that document a "Driven by Bacon" publicity stunt.

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August 21, 2014

Mind your tongue

In South Carolina -- part of the same country where it's hard to avoid hearing that word in rap lyrics.

No Fucking Way: Woman Arrested for Cursing in Grocery Store

According to a witness, Danielle Wolf cursed at her two little girls last week because they were squeezing the bread at a Kroger supermarket in North Augusta, South Carolina. "Stop squishing the fucking bread," Wolf reportedly said. Wolf says she was talking not to her children but to her husband, who was recklessly tossing frozen pizzas into their shopping cart. Either way, she committed a misdemeanor, so police had no choice but to handcuff her in front of her family and cart her off to the station.

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August 20, 2014

Just take the money and drive

Drivers Voice Frustrations At Being Mistaken For Uber

SAN FRANCISCO (CBS SF) – Drivers in the Bay Area, New York and other big cities say they are increasingly experiencing unwanted passengers climbing in the back seat of their cars.

Dozens of people have taken to social media to complain about total strangers assuming that they were working for the San Francisco-based cab-alternative. The system, which operates in 44 countries, requires drivers to create an account with payment info before they can hail a ride using the company's app.

Some drivers say Uber users have mistaken them more than once for their ride.

Based on Tweets, Prius and SUV drivers appear to be the primary victims of the confusion.

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August 18, 2014

Okay, here's the plan...

Florida man allegedly takes woman on date so friend can steal her purse

BOCA RATON , Fla., Aug. 7 (UPI) -- A Florida man may not have been looking for a cheap date, but he was apparently hoping to make a few bucks by going on one.

Boca Raton police responded after a woman called and reported that a man came up and snatched her purse while she was making out with a friend on the beach.

Neither of the kissers were identified, but the woman told officers that the individual who had dropped her and her date off at the beach, Daniel Eisemann, was the man who took her purse.

She had never met Eisemann before he arrived with her date to pick her up.

After the 27-year-old snatched the purse, which contained her cell phone and $500 cash, the woman's date took off after him, the Sun Sentinel reported.

When he didn't come back, the woman sought assistance and called police.

The woman's date, Eisemann and another man were found at a nearby Red Roof Inn.

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August 15, 2014

Payback time (6)

Exotic Dancers Protest Topless At Ohio Church

WARSAW, Ohio - Exotic dancers from a central Ohio strip club have protested topless at a local church in a demonstration that included a few heated verbal exchanges between dancers and church members.

The Coshocton Tribune reports no major problems were reported Sunday outside the Warsaw church that the strip club's owner says has protested his business for years.

Club owner Thomas George has said church members have picketed outside his club on weeknights. The Rev. Bill Dunfee, the church's pastor, said earlier that the Sunday demonstration signaled that churchgoers' protests at the club are working.

The newspaper reports that six bare-breasted women marched from a nearby corner to the edge of the church's parking lot at one point Sunday.

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August 14, 2014

Asleep at the wheel

Asleep in the Cockpit? Flight Takes Scary Plunge as Pilot Dozes Off

A plane full of sleeping passengers: a tranquil flight. A cockpit full of sleeping pilots: a potential disaster.

Air regulators in India are investigating a scary incident on August 8 when a Jet Airways Boeing 777-300 dropped more than 5,000 feet while its pilot was dozing off.

The incident occurred on a flight from Mumbai to Brussels. The Times of India reports the pilot was taking what's called a "controlled rest" as called for by international standards for long flights. The co-pilot was supposed to handle flying responsibilities while the pilot was asleep. But she reportedly says she was working on her flight tablet and didn't notice when the plane descended from its assigned level of 34,000 feet as they were flying over Turkey.

Fortunately Turkish air traffic controllers did notice and alerted the pilots to climb back toward their assigned altitude.

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August 13, 2014

It was so romantic

Boyfriend welcomes lover home with romantic candle message - and wrecks home in blaze

A romantic boyfriend lit dozens of candles to welcome his girlfriend back - and wrecked their home in a fire.

Amanj Yassen, 29, had not seen Jana Stankeviciute, 25, for a month while she was on holiday in Latvia.

Eager to show his love was still burning, he arranged dozens of tealights on his bedroom floor in the shape of a heart with an arrow through it and spelt out her name.

But when he closed the door to hide the surprise the carpet caught fire and the flames tore through the entire room.

Amanj tried to tackled the blaze himself but was beaten back by flames and smoke and had to dial 999 for the fire brigade.

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August 12, 2014

TL;DL

Calgary radio station cuts songs in half to appeal to short attention spans

At what point have you had enough of Katy Perry's latest hit? One Calgary radio station is now taking it upon itself to pinpoint that moment.

Top 40 station 90.3 Amp Radio has started to cut off the songs played on air halfway through, allowing for twice the number of songs to be played each hour in a bid to cater to their listeners' ever-shortening attention spans.

"We've got so much more choice, we've got less time (and) our attention spans are shorter," Amp Radio's Paul Kaye told CTV Calgary. "We are observing people with their iPods, playing their favourite songs and skipping them before the end because they get bored."

The station used to play about 12 songs an hour, but the new 'QuickHitz' format allows for 24 songs each hour by re-editing the tracks.

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August 11, 2014

Cold cash

Man gets paid with buckets of coins in settlement with insurance firm

When Los Angeles-area resident Andres Carrasco reached a settlement with Adriana's Insurance, he expected a check, but instead received more than a dozen buckets containing at least $21,000 in coins.

Eight representatives with the insurance company delivered 16 to 18 paint buckets filled with quarters, nickels, dimes and pennies to Carrasco's attorney's office as part of a settlement that had to be paid by July 25.

"It's unfortunate that a business like that would use some of these tactics," said the attorney, Antonio Gallo.

Calls to Adriana's Insurance, based in Rancho Cucamonga, were not returned.

The settlement was the result of a 2012 lawsuit in which Carrasco alleged that an employee at the company assaulted him when he tried to purchase insurance, his attorney said.

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August 08, 2014

The old Dead Koala trick

Dead koala with $50 bill in its mouth baffles Aussie investigators

Australian police are investigating after someone dropped a dead koala with a $50 bill in its mouth at a station in Victoria on the weekend.

Sgt. Jason Von Tunk told ABC News he was working along Saturday night when he heard a thud. As he left the station, he thought he was about to be ambushed.

"The old, put a dead koala out in the middle of the driveway situation and then get ambushed," Von Tunk said. "But when I saw the $50 in its mouth, that made me even more curious."

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August 07, 2014

Just when you thought...

...they couldn't get more obnoxious.

Armpit hair selfies are taking over Chinese social media

Back in March, Madonna's Instagram photo of her armpit hair was quickly picked apart—both praised and criticized—by the digital pack. Everyone on social media suddenly had opinions about it. Are we really, as a culture, this divided on body hair?

A recent competition in China put that into perspective. Women are submitting photos of their unshaven underarms, and starting a conversation about it.

According to Rocket News, the photos are submissions for a best armpit hair selfie competition, the campaign for which appeared on Sina Weibo, China's microblogging platform, on July 17. In less than a week, it had thousands of submissions and millions of views.

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August 06, 2014

Eat a peach

Peaches are being sold with tiny knickers on them in China

ENTERPRISING FRUIT sellers in China are putting tiny pairs of knickers on peaches, and selling them as women's bottoms.

Did you have to read that sentence twice? Well, perhaps this photo will settle your confusion:


eat-a-peach.jpg

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August 05, 2014

He's no Benjamin Franklin

Man struck trying to videotape lightning: 'I made possibly the world's worst decision'

A man says he can't help but laugh after surviving a lightning strike that hit him while he was standing in the middle of an open field at Green Lake trying to capture the storm on video Saturday.

"I made possibly the world's worst decision," Robb Montejano told KIRO Radio's Dori Monson. "I'm standing there in the middle of an open field, the highest point in a lightning storm, and I'm trying to video it."

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August 04, 2014

Signs and wonders

Lake mysteriously shows in drought-torn Tunisia

Local shepherds in the drought-stricken region of Gafsa in the African country of Tunisia recently stumbled upon an incredible and mysterious sight: a beautiful lake, which emerged out of nowhere.

Some locals are calling it a miracle. Others are calling it a curse.

Hundreds of people are flocking to the new lake dubbed Gafsa Beach (a.k.a. Lac de Gafsa) to go swimming, diving, and scuba diving, or to simply find relief from the heat, this despite warnings by local authorities who claim the lake could be radioactive.

("Drought-torn"? That's an odd idiom.)

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August 01, 2014

It's all in how you say it?

Oak Ridge cancels class to reduce Southern accents

(AP) Some employees at the Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Tennessee complained about a class aimed at teaching them how to reduce their Southern accents. Now, managers are calling the whole thing off.

The course had been advertised as a way to feel confident in meetings, when one might need to speak with a more neutral accent. The class was touted as a way to "be remembered for what you say and not how you say it." [...]

ORNL spokesman David Keim said the class "probably wasn't presented in the right way" and managers decided to cancel it after other employees complained.

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July 31, 2014

At least that's settled

Chubby Checker, HP settle lawsuit over penis-measuring app

(Reuters) - The singer Chubby Checker has settled a lawsuit in which he accused Hewlett-Packard Co of using his trademarked name without permission on a software app that purported to measure the size of a man's penis.

HP denied liability in agreeing to settle with Checker, whose given name is Ernest Evans, but agreed not to make future use of his stage name, likeness or related trademarks. [...]

In his February 2013 lawsuit against HP and its Palm unit, the singer objected to HP having in October 2006 begun online sales of "The Chubby Checker" app, which purported to let women estimate the size of a man's genitals based on his shoe size.

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July 29, 2014

There's no place like jail

Berrimah inmates break out of prison, then return after getting drunk

At least four prisoners in Darwin are suspected of repeatedly escaping the prison, getting drunk, then voluntarily returning to the facility in the hope no one would notice.

The ABC understands authorities were checking whether low-security prisoners have repeatedly escaped from a work release centre at Berrimah jail for a few hours after a 7pm headcount.

"It would appear that a couple of prisoners have jumped the fence but returned," a spokesman for NT Department of Correctional Services said.

Authorities were believed to suspect the group, and possibly other prisoners, were from time to time jumping a cyclone fence, getting picked up from a main road by partners and given alcohol and marijuana, before breaking back into prison a few hours later.

The deception was eventually discovered shortly after midnight in the early hours of Sunday July 20 when five drunk prisoners were found fighting over a mobile phone.

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July 28, 2014

You can imagine the reviews

for this book at Amazon:

Learning to Play With a Lion's Testicles: Unexpected Gifts From the Animals of Africa

The cheeky title of Melissa Haynes's story of adventure in Africa, Learning to Play with a Lion's Testicles, earned the book some big publicity on NBC-TV/Late Night with Jimmy Fallon on September 4,2013 where it topped the show's list of "Titles Not to Read" for September 2013. Melissa's book was also a big smash on the March 11, 2014 Ellen Show, where Ellen and guest Ricky Gervais highlighted the book throughout the entire hour.


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July 25, 2014

A versatile laptop

Police: Texas man had crossbow, tomahawk to kill ex's husband in Australia

A Texas man was arrested Tuesday in New South Wales, Australia in connection to an incident where he is accused of attacking his ex-wife's current husband with a crossbow and a tomahawk.

Jeffery Hooten, 49, allegedly flew to Australia last week to kill his ex-wife Stephanie Williams' current husband, Greg Williams, according to the Daily Telegraph.

Police say that Hooten fired a bolt from his crossbow at Williams, who was able to block the bolt with his laptop. Hooten is then accused of charging at Williams with a tomahawk, striking him in the head.

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July 24, 2014

Road rage karma

I'd have paid admission to see this.

Man run over by own truck during road rage incident in Florida

GAINESVILLE, Fla. • A man in Florida apparently got a dose of road rage karma when police say he was run over by his own pickup truck after getting out to bang on another driver's window. [...]

The Gainesville Sun reports Joseph Carl, 48, had been drinking and drove into a vehicle stopped at a red light. He got out of his truck without putting it in park and began banging on the window of a woman's car. When the frightened woman drove away, there was nothing holding his truck in place.

The truck rolled into Carl. A police report says he was taken to the hospital where he was treated for fractures in his hand and foot.

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July 23, 2014

They're just jealous

That they didn't think of it.

Aichi politician reprimanded for 'punctured condoms' population proposal

NAGOYA – A member of the Shinshiro Municipal Assembly in Aichi Prefecture proposed distributing "punctured condoms" to married residents to bolster the city's dwindling population, the legislature's secretariat said Friday.

Independent Assemblyman Tomonaga Osada was verbally reprimanded Wednesday for the controversial proposal last month and told his remarks "lacked dignity for an assembly member and consideration" by the assembly chairman, who decided to delete them from the minutes of the June 18 meeting.

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July 22, 2014

On the horns of a lawn sprinkler

California drought doesn't end brown lawn warnings

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Laura Whitney and her husband, Michael Korte, don't know whether they're being good citizens during a drought or scofflaws.

On the same day the state approved mandatory outdoor watering restrictions with the threat of $500 fines, the Southern California couple received a letter from their city threatening a $500 penalty for not watering their brown lawn.

It's brown because of their conservation, which, besides a twice-a-week lawn watering regimen, includes shorter showers and larger loads of laundry.

They're encouraged by the state's new drought-busting, public service slogan: Brown is the new green.

The city of Glendora sees it differently.

"Despite the water conservation efforts, we wish to remind you that limited watering is still required to keep landscaping looking healthy and green," says the letter, which gives Korte and Whitney 60 days to restore their lawn.

They're among residents caught in the middle of conflicting government messages as the need for conservation clashes with the need to preserve attractive neighborhoods.

"My friends in Los Angeles got these letters warning they could be fined if they water, and I got a letter warning that I could be fined for not watering," Whitney said. "I felt like I was in an alternate universe."

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July 21, 2014

Talk about performance anxiety

Woman Convicted Of Shooting Lover Over Poor Sex Performance Granted Bond

SOUTHFIELD (WWJ) – Oakland County prosecutors are fighting the release of a 58-year-old Southfield woman admitted she shot her lover over his performance in bed.

Sadie Bell was convicted in April of assault with intent to do great bodily harm for shooting her boyfriend, Edward Lee, in the stomach in January of 2013 — but she's now been granted bond pending an appeal.

According to Chief Assistant Prosecutor Paul Walton, Bell admitted she had sex with Lee at her apartment, then shot him over his poor performance. She also accused Lee of cheating.

"The underlying facts in this are a little bizarre," Walton told WWJ's Sandra McNeil, "in that the defendant in this case was having a 15 year affair with the victim, Mr. Lee.

"She was upset with him," Walton said, "after a sexual act that she felt he wasn't performing adequately and accused him then of having an affair, and then took out a gun and shot him."
Walton said Bell made a "very graphic", detailed statement to police explaining why she shot her lover.

"She stated that she knew he was having an affair because he wasn't producing enough ejaculate," Walton explained. "She also said to the police some very graphic things about how she expected him to perform, she was a cheap date, she liked sex, she expected him to be able to do what he's promised; and she said, in essence, to quote her, she was pissed off, so she shot him."

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July 20, 2014

Yep, that's pretty vulgar all right

Florida Road Construction Sign Hacked To Show Extremely Vulgar Message

TAMPA, Fla. (CBS Tampa) – Drivers in Hillsborough County were subjected to a road construction sign that was flashing an obscene message after being hacked. [...]

While driving home from the drive-in movie theater in Ruskin, Sarah Carpenter saw the message. She was in the car with her 11-year-old brother and 6-year-old son.

"We are driving and I look over and I have to do a double take," Carpenter told WFTS. "I am like what does that say?"

The sign read: "F*** Her Right In The P****."

As she tried to merge into an open lane the sign distracted Carpenter. Her brother was in the passenger seat of her car when they passed the sign.

"He's like, 'Did that sign say what I think it says?' And I have my 6-year-old in the back seat trying to sound it out," she told WFTS.

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July 19, 2014

Hey he might get hungry, right?

Kentucky man got arrested, then ordered pizza to police station

CORBIN, Ky.   •  Police in southern Kentucky say they got a surprise delivery after charging a man with shoplifting — five pizzas showed up at the station.

Officers say Michael Harp asked to make a call on his cellphone Tuesday afternoon while being booked in Corbin. A short time later, police say, a pizza delivery driver showed up to deliver to "Officer Wilson," the name of the officer who arrested Harp, 29.

Police say they linked the call to Harp by tracking his cellphone number. Harp told Lexington station WKYT-TV it's all a misunderstanding and that "about 10 people" used his phone.

Harp now faces additional charges including theft of identity, theft by deception, and impersonating a police officer. Jail records did not list an attorney for him.

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July 16, 2014

366 large, down the drain

Council blows £214,000 over five years on hunt for blogger who insulted councillors

A council spent a staggering £200,000 on a hunt for a notorious internet blogger known as ‘Mr Monkey’ after he insulted local councillors.

The anonymous writer referred to councillors as ‘Pudgy Face’, ‘Miss Piggy’, ‘King of Sleaze’ and ‘The Fat Mackem Hobbit’ as he promised to ‘expose the truth’ behind their alleged lies.

Despite the internet troll abandoning the blog in 2009, the north east council have only just called off the manhunt - having spent the last five years searching for him.

South Tyneside Council launched the search after insisting they had a ‘duty of care’ to protect their employees from malicious accusations made online.

They immediately hired Washington DC lawyers McDermott, Will and Emery, to try and trace those responsible - all funded by the public purse.

But after spending more than £214,000 on the search for Mr Monkey, town hall bosses have now decided to drop the hunt.

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July 15, 2014

Don't get cocky, Mr. Mayor

My emphasis below.

South Carolina town rallies for gay police chief and strips mayor of powers

When openly gay police chief Crystal Moore was fired by a mayor who condemned her lifestyle as "questionable", she expected her two-decade career in law enforcement to be over.

Then this small, conservative town rebelled.

The people of Latta, who voted overwhelmingly for a state amendment banning gay marriage eight years ago, turned against the mayor, stripped him of his powers; they then rehired Moore. They said her dedication to the town mattered more than her sexual orientation. [...]

Mayor Earl Bullard vehemently denied that he fired Moore because she was gay. Instead, he said she was dismissed for "sheer insubordination" during the three months he was her boss.

Moore said she hadn't received a single reprimand during her career until Bullard presented her with seven on the same day she was fired.

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July 14, 2014

Taking a law firm to court?

Isn't that like picking a fight with a newspaper? Judging from the images, though, they've got a pretty good case.

Brewery sues law firm for trademark infringement

With more than 3,000 U.S. breweries in operation, trademark disputes are becoming a regular occurrence in the beer business. But a lawsuit filed by Oregon-based Full Sail Brewing may be a first.

In the lawsuit, filed in federal court, Full Sail is suing The Sessions Law Firm, an Atlanta-based firm that specializes in driving under the influence (DUI) cases, for trademark infringement.

According to the filing, Full Sail has been selling beer under the trademark "Session" by "showing the word SESSION inside a distinctive shield logo, using a distinctive font, often with a red background and with a grey outline" since 2005.

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July 09, 2014

Only in Japan (6)

In Japan, There Is a Shrine for...Hemorrhoids

The vast majority of festivals in Japan are not unusual. Then, there are some that are referred to as "kisai" (奇祭) or "strange festival." This is one of those. [...]

According to IT Media, around seventy people attended the recent festival at Kunigami Shrine in Tochigi Prefecture. Japan has well over a hundred thousand Shinto shrines. This one appears to be the only one that deals with hemorrhoids.

Tradition states that those who washed their backsides and then ate egg offerings would be cured of hemorrhoids, reports Shimotsuke. The festival ceased back in 1988, but two years ago, it was revived. These days, instead of cleaning in the river, there is a "Butt Washing Stone" on the shrine's grounds. Participants turn their backsides to the stone and chant to cure their butts or to ensure that they never get hemorrhoids.

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July 08, 2014

What Golden Rule?

Utah man sentenced to jail for seat-saving assault at a Mormon church

Ogden • A Plain City man accused of beating a fellow churchgoer last year at a Mormon baby blessing and mission farewell was sentenced Wednesday to 30 days in jail.

Wayne Dodge, 52, pleaded guilty last month in Ogden's 2nd District Court to one count of class B misdemeanor assault. One charge of felony aggravated assault was dismissed, according to court records. [...]

Prosecutors charged Dodge after he was involved in an "altercation" that stemmed from a seat-saving dispute at an Aug. 30 service at an LDS Church. [...]

The two men later clashed in the parking lot, where Dodge reportedly punched the victim. The man ended up with a bloody face, according to sheriff's deputies.

Weber County sheriff's Lt. Mark Lowther said that after the fight, Dodge swerved to hit the victim with his car as he was driving away.

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July 07, 2014

Vegetarian water

Vegetarian Water - For The Truly Ethical

Did you know that when you drink water, you are not really being vegetarian?

I didn't either. It turns out that when you drink water, it could have microbes and other small stuff - well, I knew that part. What I did not know is that viruses and bacteria and such were considered animals to vegetarians. So even if you purify water by boiling it and killing the germs, you are still drinking dead animals.

What to do for truly ethical water drinkers? Now you have the solution, the Prestige Lifestraw.

I guess this is real - it's hard to say, I assume most medicinal and health products originating in Asia were created on a dare - but the Prestige LifeStraw says not only will it kill the animals in water, like bacteria, protozoan cysts and viruses, it will then remove them too. No more animals carcasses!

It uses no electricity and no chemicals but retains all minerals - whew, I was worried minerals and salts would turn out to be animals too. I'd have to stop eating that Non-GMO Project Rock Salt.

H.T. Jeff

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July 05, 2014

Who says crime doesn't pay?

'Hot Mug Shot' Felon Signs With Agent For Modeling Contracts

The felon whose mug shot earned him hordes of admirers has secured a Hollywood agent who is negotiating modeling contracts even though he is still in jail.

Jeremy Meeks was arrested as part of a sweep of gangs in Stockton, California, and faces a felony weapons charge.

His mug shot went viral after being posted by the police department's Facebook page and has now apparently caught the attention of an agent.

Gina Rodriguez says she has signed Meeks, 30, as a client and he joins a roster of her other notorious celebrities. [...]

Though they have not formally set up any contracts with modeling agencies or other prospective employers, Rodriguez has high hopes.

"Jeremy could make somewhere between $3,000 to $100,000 per month through endorsements and modeling. We are also speaking with several production companies about following Jeremy's foray into the entertainment industry," she said.

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July 03, 2014

No such thing as bad publicity?

KFC Serves Customer a Deep-Fried Blue Towel

A KFC in Newcastle, England apparently served a mother and her step-son a deep-fried blue hygienic hand towel. No, seriously, this happened.

When Krystal Henderson's step-son Oliver bit into his four-piece chicken, he thought it was unusually hard. That's not surprising when you consider he'd just tried to eat a deep-fried hand towel. There is a picture through that link and...well...wow. Just...wow.

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June 30, 2014

Ding dong the merry-oh

Husband locked wife in shed for singing ''Ding dong, the witch is dead'' after his mum died

A husband locked his wife in their shed because she wouldn't stop singing "ding dong, the witch is dead" after his mother died.

Andrew Salmon, 42, packed up his wife Beverley's belongings and refused to let her into their home in Cornwall, Truro Magistrates' Court heard.

Furious Andrew told her: "It is my house now - you are not getting in."

When she took refuge in the garden shed he locked her inside but she managed to climb out of a window.

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June 26, 2014

Talkin' trash

Wow...

De Soto woman critically hurt in fight about a garbage can

DE SOTO • A woman was critically injured when a man hit her in the head with a baseball bat and a woman kicked her during an argument about a trash can, police said Wednesday.

Christina Goebel, 33, of De Soto, was hospitalized with life-threatening injuries, authorities said.

The dispute started when she and another man visited friends in the 800 block of North Third Street in De Soto on Tuesday evening to help repair a car.

About 8:20 p.m., Jacob Lee Kelley, 27, and Melinda Warden, 28, approached a group in an alley and were angry a trash can had been moved. A fight broke out in which Kelley allegedly grabbed a wooden bat and struck a man in the back and Goebel in the face.

A witness said Warden then kicked Goebel in the head when she was down and punched two others, according to court documents.

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June 25, 2014

Quite a pair

'Dull' is to twin with 'Boring'

The British village of Dull is to forge links with a US town called Boring.

The partnership came about after a Scottish cyclist, who knew of Dull, in Perthshire, pedalled through Boring in the American town of Oregon.

News was relayed back to villagers in Dull - who immediately made contact with their US counterparts in an effort to set up 'Dull and Boring'. [...]

A spokesman said: "This absolutely illustrates one of the top reasons why people come to Scotland - our sense of humour.

"We already know that, after the landscape, the friendliness and sense of humour of the Scottish people is the top reason why people come to Scotland.

"And I'm sure that that sense humour will now be translated across the Atlantic to Oregon. All we need now is a town called Fed Up."

The idea to 'twin' Dull, in Perthshire, and Boring, in the US state of Oregon, came about after Scots cyclist Elizabeth Leighton pedalled through Boring during a holiday.

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June 24, 2014

Where else would you open your safe?

Suspected bowling-alley burglars roll a gutter ball

TACOMA, Wash. -- Two burglars had a lot of balls on them -- literally they had half-a-dozen stolen bowling balls on them -- when they loudly tried to break into a pilfered safe in the middle of a church parking lot, according to charges filed Tuesday in Pierce County Superior Court.

According to the charging documents, Pierce County Sheriff's Office deputies were called to a church parking lot outside Spanaway around 2:30 a.m. June 14 for reports of two men hitting a safe against the ground.

One of the men, Jeffery Smith, told deputies the safe belonged to him but he had forgotten the combination. He said he took it to the church parking lot to open it without waking up his family.

According to the charging documents, deputies noticed six bowling balls with the price tags still on them in the back of the men's car. Smith told deputies he likes to bowl and the balls belonged to him.

Later, Paradise Bowl in Tacoma reported being burglarized sometime between midnight and 8:30 a.m. According to the charging documents, someone had taken $1,000 worth of bowling balls and a safe containing $4,000.

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June 20, 2014

Feces-flinging mayor

If he didn't leave it the doorstep with the top afire, I'm not sure it should count. "No harm, no foul," as the lawyers say.

San Marino Mayor "Embarrassed" Over Dog Poop Controversy

The mayor of an affluent Southern California community caught on surveillance camera tossing a bag of dog poop into a neighbor's yard has resigned, he confirmed to NBC4 on Tuesday.

Dennis Kneier, the mayor of San Marino, announced his resignation, effective Tuesday.

"I thought it would be the very best thing for us to move forward and have a reorganization and have a new mayor," he said in an interview at his doorstep. [...]

In his letter, Kneier cited continuing public fallout and embarrassment stemming from a June 7 incident in which he admitted to discarding a bag of dog feces on a neighbor's private walkway.

Kneier was cited for littering by the San Marino Police Department.

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June 19, 2014

Good morning, THC

Marijuana infused coffee claims to give you a real morning buzz

A new product promises drinkers a jolt of something extra than your daily dose of caffeine.

Washington state based Mirth Provisions plans to release a cannabis-infused cold-brew coffee called "Legal," as the new product will only be available in markets where marijuana is legal.

Creator Adam Stites told My Northwest that each  bottle will contain about 20 milligrams of THC, enough to create “an alert, creative, high,” but not too much as to make it an unpleasant experience, “especially for people that are just getting into marijuana."

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June 18, 2014

Ouch! (12)

What an expensive mistake... I'll bet they get a survey before they build the next one.

Court: $1.8M house built on park must be removed

A developer who mistakenly built a $1.8 million waterfront house on parkland has been ordered to remove it.

The Rhode Island Supreme Court found that the unoccupied home in Narragansett was built entirely on land owned by the Rose Nulman Park Foundation, and therefore must be removed.

The developer, Four Twenty Corp., began building the home in 2009, but it didn't discover the error until 2011 when it tried to sell the house and the prospective buyers got a survey. Robert Lamoureux, who owns the company, then contacted one of the park's trustees to try to work something out, but she told him the land was not for sale, according to Friday's opinion.

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June 17, 2014

Don't mess with nuns

Nuns sue strip club next door to their suburban Chicago convent

STONE PARK, Ill. • A group of nuns is suing to shut down a strip club next to their convent in a western Chicago suburb that the sisters say keeps them awake at night.

The Missionary Sisters of St. Charles Borromeo Scalabrinians say in the suit that Club Allure has ruined their peace with blinking neon lights and loud thumping music. The nuns say they have witnessed drunken fights and found condoms littering the area.

The suit, filed against the club and the village of Stone Park, states that the club violates a state law against operating adult entertainment within 1,000 feet of a school or place of worship. The club is also near houses, and three neighbors have joined the suit.

"I think most people would find that offensive, to put a strip club next to a home for sisters," said Peter Breen, attorney for the Thomas More Society, a nonprofit law firm that filed the suit on behalf of the nuns.

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June 16, 2014

Flush your troubles away

Toilet is a fixture in Kalamazoo Christian baseball team's dugout

BATTLE CREEK — The Kalamazoo Christian baseball team is trying to flush away bad plays by making a tradition of carting a toilet to its games.

The former bathroom fixture has become a game-day fixture in the team's dugout, mlive.com reported.

On Tuesday, as Kalamazoo Christian celebrated a 6-4 win over Britton Deerfield in the Michigan High School Athletic Association Division 4 quarterfinals, players carried out the toilet, to the surprise of many at Bailey Park in Battle Creek.

Andrew Long, a senior, explained the potty's presence. He said the team had a miniature toilet last season that players would activate after a bad play to "flush down the bad memories." This year, Long said a discarded toilet was found for the dugout.

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June 14, 2014

Maybe they take after her husband?

Woman who cares for 100,000 cockroaches in home: 'These are all my children'

A 37-year-old woman in China shares her countryside home with the estimated 100,000 cockroaches she breeds. The South China Morning Post reports that Yuan Meixia cares for the roaches that she eventually sells to a pharmaceutical company, which uses the bugs for medicines. "These are all my children, my babies," Yuan told the Southern Metropolis News. The insect breeder resides at a separate home in Siqian county but visits the breeding house, in the Linbian village, every day.

Yuan, a pharmacy employee, was inspired to raise roaches after seeing a China Central Television program that aired last year. "I saw people raise this kind of cockroach in Anhui," she said. "They said it can be food and also can be medicine…So I took tens of thousands of yuan to learn [how to breed them] for a week and spent more than 10,000 yuan ($1,600) to buy 20 kg (44 lbs) of live cockroaches."

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June 13, 2014

Some competition for the Manneken-Pis

Polish town erects statue of a urinating Lenin

A statue of Vladimir Lenin has returned to a Polish town which was constructed by the communists in the hope of it becoming a proletarian bastion.

But instead of striking a dramatic pose designed to inspire revolution, the new Lenin statue in Nowa Huta comes bright green in colour, and depicts the revolutionary leader relieving himself, with a water feature providing the necessary effects.

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June 12, 2014

One leg at a time... for over three millenia

World's Oldest Pair of Pants Found

(Newser) – Archaeologists working at an ancient graveyard in western China have unearthed what they say is the oldest pair of pants ever found, reports Science News. In fact, they found two pairs, and the clothing items are not only functional but relatively stylish. The wool pants were found with the remains of two men, each about 40, who lived as many as 3,300 years ago and likely rode horses long distances, based on the riding gear that was placed in the tomb.

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June 11, 2014

Toronto ticklers

The City of Toronto wants you to wear its edgy, branded condoms

Toronto Public Health has unveiled its edgy, city-branded condoms just in time for Pride Week and the start of the summer dating season.

The condom wrapper features a street pole standing proud and tall, along with rainbow-flagged signs featuring three of the city's most oft-double entendred streets, Coxwell Avenue, Wood Street and Cummer Avenue.

"No matter which way you go, put it on," the condom wrapper says.

Toronto Public Health is launching "condomTo" after the success of similar campaigns in Los Angeles and New York.

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June 09, 2014

Insert Monty Python joke here

Indian court asked to rule on whether Hindu guru dead or meditating

The family and followers of one of India's wealthiest Hindu spiritual leaders are fighting a legal battle over whether he is dead or simply in a deep state of meditation.

His Holiness Shri Ashutosh Maharaj, the founder of the Divya Jyoti Jagrati Sansthan religious order with a property estate worth an estimated £100 million, died in January, according to his wife and son.

However, his disciples at his Ashram have refused to let the family take his body for cremation because they claim he is still alive.

According to his followers, based in the Punjab city of Jalandhar, he simply went into a deep Samadhi or meditation and they have frozen his body to preserve it for when he wakes from it.

His body is currently contained in a commercial freezer at their Ashram.

Via TYWKIWDBI

The Monty Python joke

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June 08, 2014

Science marches on

MagnetoSperm: A microrobot that navigates using weak magnetic fields

ABSTRACT
In this work, a propulsion system similar in motion to a sperm-cell is investigated. This system consists of a structure resembling a sperm-cell with a magnetic head and a flexible tail of 42 μm and 280 μm in length, respectively. The thickness, length, and width of this structure are 5.2 μm, 322 μm, and 42 μm, respectively. The magnetic head includes a 200 nm-thick cobalt-nickel layer. The cobalt-nickel layer provides a dipole moment and allows the flexible structure to align along oscillating weak (less than 5 mT) magnetic field lines, and hence generates a propulsion thrust force that overcomes the drag force. The frequency response of this system shows that the propulsion mechanism allows for swimming at an average speed of 158 ± 32 μm/s at alternating weak magnetic field of 45 Hz. In addition, we experimentally demonstrate controlled steering of the flexible structure towards reference positions.

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June 07, 2014

If it quacks like an gorilla...

Zoo Vet Mistakes Employee In Gorilla Suit For An Actual Ape, Shoots Him With Tranquilizer

A veterinarian at Loro Parque, a zoo and marine park in Tenerife Spain with a disturbing history of animal welfare violations, shot a fellow park employee with a tranquilizer after mistaking him for gorilla. The park employee was actually dressed up in a gorilla costume and participating in a practice drill to simulate the escape of a captive gorilla from one of the enclosures.

The employee was running around the park mimicking an escaped gorilla when the veterinarian spied him and, apparently uninformed about the drill, shot him in the leg with a tranquilizer dose meant to take down a 400-pound gorilla. The employee had an allergic reaction to the dose and was taken to University Hospital of the Canary Islands, where he is in serious condition.

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June 05, 2014

More like February - December, I think

'Extreme toyboy', 31, takes 91-year-old girlfriend home to meet his mother

As a society, we've become used to May to September relationships - just look at Madonna and her latest backing dancer; Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones and their 25-year age gap. No one bats an eyelid any more.

But one 'exteme toy boy' does raise a few eyebrows when he steps out with his lover - because baby-faced Kyle Jones, 31, is in a relationship with a 91-year-old great-grandmother.

Kyle, from Augusta, Georgia, dates numerous pensioners at the same time and even takes them home to meet his 50-year-old mother. For the last five years he has been in a 'casual' relationship with 91-year-old Marjorie McCool.

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June 04, 2014

Home-grown mutton

Norway artist cooked and ate own hip on 'a whim'

A Norwegian conceptual artist boiled his own hip bone on "a whim" and then ate the flesh with some potato gratin and a glass of wine. According to the artist, the meat tasted like "wild sheep".

Alexander Selvik Wengshoel, 25, made his startling claim to Nordlys newspaper at the opening of his graduation show from the Tromsø Academy of Contemporary Art.

The hip bone was displayed as part of the exhibition, as was a film of the operation to remove it.

Wengshoel told The Local that he spent a year convincing his doctors to let him film his hip replacement operation and then keep the bone. At the time he was a 21-year-old art student doing a foundation course in Oslo.

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May 31, 2014

But who grooms them?

There's a Tarantula Version of the Westminster Dog Show

Just like dogs, tarantulas come in a variety of colors, sizes and demeanors. Just like dogs, they often have devoted (some might say obsessed) owners who prefer to think of themselves as caretakers. And just like dogs have the Westminster Dog Show, tarantulas have a hotly contested annual competition.

This week, the British Tarantula Society (yes it exists, here's how you can join) held its 29th annual exhibition, the biggest tarantula event in the world. How they managed to have 28 of these previously without us noticing, I really don't know. This event sounds amazing — there were something like 30,000 tarantulas there. Just close your eyes and think about that for a minute! I bet you didn't even last 10 seconds with that image in your head.

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May 27, 2014

Cat fight!

Woman attacks boyfriend with family cat, deputies say

PALM COAST, Fla. —The fur was flying, literally, according to investigators in Flagler County, after a woman allegedly attacked her live-in boyfriend with the family cat.

Katherine Galliher, 50, was arrested Tuesday night after deputies were called to a domestic disturbance at the home on Brownstone Lane in Palm Coast.

The victim said Galliher threw the cat at him and the animal hit him in the face, busting his lip.

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May 26, 2014

News from Flori-duh

Man Attempts to Pay Fine at Courthouse with Counterfeit Bills

The Bay County Sheriff's Office arrested a local man today who attempted to pay a fine at the Bay County Courthouse with counterfeit bills.

When John Sheldon Jernigan gave the clerk at the Courthouse $400 to pay his trespassing fine, she observed that the bills looked unusual. Upon closer inspection, she noticed that many of the bills had the same exact serial number. The bills, all $20's, proved to be counterfeit.

The astute clerk called a deputy to the counter and Jernigan was arrested and charged with thirteen counts of Uttering a Counterfeit Bill.

When investigators spoke with Jernigan, he initially claimed he received pay at his job in cash and it must have been counterfeit. Jernigan later changed his story and claimed he didn't know where he obtained the counterfeit cash.

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May 25, 2014

All in the family

B.C. woman hits moose on way to visit sister who hit moose

Two sisters from the northwestern B.C. community of Kitimat have both had close encounters with moose on the loose.

A month ago, Yvonne Studley, 49, was badly injured when she hit a moose with her vehicle, so last Friday her sister decided to visit her in Vancouver General Hospital.

But sister Connie Everitt, 51, also hit a moose and ended up in hospital.

In the first accident a month ago, Studley was on her way home from a business trip when a moose ran in front of her car.

The animal went through the windshield and landed on her, breaking her wrist, arm and hand, fracturing five of her ribs and causing bleeding in her brain. [...]

When Studley came out of her coma, Everitt and her husband Steve decided to visit her.

She and her husband were in two cars last Friday afternoon. Everitt, in the first car, was going around a corner near 70 Mile House, B.C., when she saw "a brown blur."

"I knew right away it was a moose," she said. "I slammed on the brakes with both my feet." [...]

The coincidence of hitting a moose just like her sister "really threw me for a loop."

"My first thought was, 'Are the moose going out [on a] hunting season for my family?"' Everitt said.

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May 17, 2014

Do as I say...

Not as I do.

Peeping pastor pleads guilty to climbing ladder to watch couple have sex

GRAND RAPIDS, MI – A former pastor and Cornerstone University professor has pleaded guilty to climbing a ladder propped against a home so he could watch a couple have sex in their bedroom.

Jeremy Grinnell, 42, pleaded guilty Tuesday, May 13, in Kent County Circuit Court to one count of surveilling unclothed persons stemming from the incident on Nov. 7.

Grinnell propped a ladder up against the home, climbed up to a second-floor window and admitted to watching the Cannon Township couple having sex.

When he returned for another viewing the next evening, he was caught by the male victim and subsequently arrested.

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May 14, 2014

Such a deal!

Students post ad for hit man in order to avoid taking finals

Two University of Georgia (UGA) students were driven desperate enough by their finals that they took to Craigslist to hire a hit man.

According to an advertisement posted on the classifieds website, two female UGA students requested a hit man to run them over with a car. They explicitly said they did not want to die, just simply be "injured enough to get out of taking our finals here at UGA."

The two girls added that the compensation would be "hitting two lovely ladies by vehicle w/ permission."

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May 08, 2014

I'll bet we all regret missing this auction

Sperm whale carcass eBay auction taken offline after it runs afoul of site's rules — and federal government

Frustrated by a lack of help from the government, a town on Newfoundland's west coast tried to auction off a sperm whale carcass on eBay.

The gigantic dead mammal washed up in Cape St. George a week ago, Mayor Peter Fenwick told Canada.com. In Newfoundland, animal carcasses are the responsibility of the municipality they wash up in, even if they're 12 metres long and weigh 25 or 30 tons like this one does.

Disposing of a dead whale is no easy task and whether its buried, towed out to sea or sliced up to preserve the bones, it requires equipment and funds the town just doesn't have. Although Fenwick said he'd like to preserve the bones, "it's just not within our financial capability."

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May 07, 2014

Precedent is everything

Law Students Push to License Dead Chinese Attorney

SAN FRANCISCO ― In a decision still studied in law schools as a 19th century lesson in bigotry, the California Supreme Court in 1890 denied Hong Yeng Chang's application to practice law solely because he was Chinese.

Now, students at a Northern California law school are working to right that ancient wrong. They hope to persuade the current court to reverse its 124-year-old decision.

Students at the University of California, Davis, School of Law's Asian Pacific American Law Students Association and two professors have submitted an application to practice law to the State Bar of California on behalf of Chang. It is a first step before approaching the high court, which licenses California's attorneys.

The state bar vets all California applications and recommends approval or denial to the California Supreme Court. The Supreme Court usually follows the recommendation of the state bar.

"This is a unique situation and we don't know what the Committee of Bar Examiners will do with the application," spokeswoman Laura Ernde said. The committee is scheduled to consider the application in late June.

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May 05, 2014

Maybe that was his license

Georgia drunk driver hands officer beer instead of license: police

Damon Tobias Exum, 37, of Dunwoody, struck a police car and continued driving early Saturday, police said. When asked for his license the man who was 'heavily intoxicated' and unaware of the accident handed him a beer instead.

After Exum struck a police car, he continued down a highway, police said. The officer inside was uninjured and followed him until he finally pulled over, according to the police report.

When Officer Alvin Rodriguez asked the motorist for his license he was handed a beer instead, the officer said.

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May 03, 2014

Science marches on

Science Has Finally Figured Out How to Win Rock-Paper-Scissors

Turns out that all you rock-paper-scissors champions who chalk it up to skill over luck may be on to something. Because according to science, there might actually be a winning strategy to this greatest of metacarpal match-ups.

The bold claim comes from a collective of Chinese researchers who recently took 360 students, broke them into groups of six, and had them play 300 rounds of the game in random pairings. To make sure players never lost incentive (which would be understandable after round 30, much less 300), the winners of each round were given a small sum of money as a reward.

So what do you need to know to win? After observing the many, many rounds, the scientists found that "if a player wins over her opponent in one play, her probability of repeating the same action in the next play is considerably higher than her probabilities of shifting actions."

On the other hand, if a player loses two or more times in a row, he or she will not play the same sign, but will instead play whichever sign would have beaten the one that had just allowed his or her opponent to win. So if Player A has been on a losing streak, and Player B just threw down scissors to beat A's paper, B will likely throw down a rock, which stands a good chance of winning since A is likely to stick with his previously won hand anyway. This is called the "win-stay, lose-shift" strategy.

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May 02, 2014

World Naked Gardening Day

Get ready for the Annual World Naked Gardening Day (WNGD)! People across the globe are encouraged, on the first Saturday of May, to tend their portion of the world's garden unclothed as nature intended.

Gardening has a timeless quality, and anyone can do it: young and old, singles or groups, the fit and infirm, urban and rural. An elderly lady in a Manhattan apartment can plant new annuals in her window box. Families can rake leaves in their back yard. Freehikers can pull invasive weeds along their favorite stretch of trail. More daring groups can make rapid clothes-free sorties into public parks to do community-friendly stealth cleanups.

Why garden naked? First of all, it's fun! Second only to swimming, gardening is at the top of the list of family-friendly activities people are most ready to consider doing nude. Moreover, our culture needs to move toward a healthy sense of both body acceptance and our relation to the natural environment. Gardening naked is not only a simple joy, it reminds us--even if only for those few sunkissed minutes--that we can be honest with who we are as humans and as part of this planet.

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May 01, 2014

Always low prices

Low-cost legal services now being offered in Toronto Walmarts

Behind the plastic jugs of liquid Tide stacked near the entrance of a new Walmart in Markham is an innovation in discount retailing: Axess Law.

Founded by Toronto lawyers Lena Koke and Mark Morris, Axess Law provides fast and affordable legal services to time-pressed shoppers.

Simple wills are $99. Notarized documents are $25, plus $19 for each additional document.

The Axess office in the Walmart on Copper Creek Dr. in Markham is a slim 600 square feet, branded in orange (think ING, Joe Fresh) and is open seven days a week until 8 p.m. It opened in January.

An Axess law office opened at the Walmart in the Scarborough Town Centre last June, and another this month at the Walmart at Eglinton Ave. E. and Warden Ave.

Another is scheduled to open at a Cedarbrae Walmart on Lawence Ave. E. in May.


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April 29, 2014

Play it as it lays

Tourist mistakes Richard Gere for beggar, gives him cold pizza

A French tourist listened to her heart when she offered her pizza to a man spotted rummaging through trash in the streets of New York, not realizing it was Richard Gere making a movie.

Karine Valnais Gombeau, a 42-year-old Parisian, spotted the actor, a knit cap pulled down over his ears, sifing through rubbish as she came out of a pizzeria near Grand Central station in Manhattan, with her husband and 15-year-old son, the New York Post reported Sunday.

Without blinking, Gere, 64 asked her what was in the bag Gombeau offered him.

"I tried to tell him in English, but it came out half in French," she told the Post.

"I said, 'Je suis desolee [I am sorry], but the pizza is cold.'?"

"He said, 'Thank you so much. God bless you,'? she said.

She left without knowing it was Gere making his new movie "Time Out of Mind," until the Post ran a photo of the moment two days later.

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April 26, 2014

Reductio ad absurdum fail

PETA Will NOT Be Turning Dahmer Home Into a Vegan Restaurant

In a sad development for animal-friendly dining, PETA's dream of turning the former house of one of America's most notorious serial killers into a vegan restaurant has today officially been axed.

After discovering last week that the childhood home of serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer was back on the Akron, Ohio, housing market, the folks over at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals floated the idea of converting it into a trendy eatery.

Known as the "Milwaukee Cannibal," Dahmer raped, murdered, dismembered 17 men and boys from the late 1970s through the early 1990s, posthumously consuming some of them. The home in Ohio was where Dahmer killed his first victim.

In a letter delivered last week to the property's realtor, Richard Lubinski, PETA President Ingrid Newkirk said that establishing a vegan restaurant in the house — a 2,100-square-foot, three-bed, 2.5-bath, single-family residential unit, located in the high-end suburb of Bath — would be ideal.

Via TWYKIWDBI

Who was Jeffrey Dahmer?

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April 24, 2014

Trial by heavy hammers

Court refuses trial by combat

A court has rejected a 60-year-old man's attempt to invoke the ancient right to trial by combat, rather than pay a £25 fine for a minor motoring offence.

Leon Humphreys remained adamant yesterday that his right to fight a champion nominated by the Driver and Vehicle Licensing Agency (DVLA) was still valid under European human rights legislation. He said it would have been a "reasonable" way to settle the matter.

Magistrates sitting at Bury St Edmunds on Friday had disagreed and instead of accepting his offer to take on a clerk from Swansea with "samurai swords, Ghurka knives or heavy hammers", fined him £200 with £100 costs.

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April 23, 2014

Some bleachers are more equal than others

Baseball parents ordered to take down seats deemed superior to softball bleachers

Earlier, Prep Rally brought you the story of Plymouth (Mich.) Salem High soccer coach Scott Duhl, who was allegedly fired over a parent complaint before the start of the season. Well, across town at Plymouth High in Canton, Mich., another complaint has the prep sports community as equally fired up.

Six years ago, parents of Plymouth High's boys' varsity team raised money and built stadium seating so they could watch from above a black chain-link fence that made spectating difficult, according to WJBK-TV. The parents also installed a new scoreboard for the baseball field.

Now, the school must tear it all down. The U.S. Education Department's Office for Civil Rights opened an investigation following an anonymous complaint. Ultimately, officials demanded that the seating and scoreboard be torn down because the upgrades are superior to Plymouth's girls' softball facilities (pictured). The boys' seating is also not handicap accessible, which is a separate violation of government regulations.

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April 21, 2014

A diet that's too rich for him

A pound of gold found in Indian man’s stomach

Gold has been stashed in all sorts of places — under mattresses, inside caves, in teeth.

This may be the rare occasion, however, that gold has been found in someone’s stomach.

Thursday morning, news broke that a 63-year-old New Delhi businessman went to the doctor complaining about pain in his gut. He told the doctor he had swallowed a bottle cap “in anger,” because that totally makes sense.

But surprise! It was actually gold. And not just a little bit. Doctors found 12 small bars of gold in his gut — weighing nearly one pound. They’re also called “gold biscuits.” The gold was valued at $20,000.

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April 19, 2014

Das Breakroom

New Boise biz lets you destroy stuff with baseball bats, other tools

BOISE, Idaho (KBOI) - A new local business allows you to swing sledgehammers and other "instruments of destruction" at household objects to let off some steam.

"Here at Das Breakroom, our sole purpose is to provide a place for people to engage in recreational destruction," said Tom Farrenkopf, who owns the business, which had its grand opening April 15. "What we mean by that is come in and break stuff."

The idea is you can work out your frustrations in a safe environment.

"I was having a horrible week, and I found myself on the verge of tears," said Lindsey Shultz of Boise, "and I was just pacing back and forth, like, 'What am I going to do? I'm so frustrated right now,' and I walked here and broke an entire box of stuff, and 10 minutes later, I felt perfect, fine."

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April 17, 2014

If you looked up Bad Hair Day in a dictionary...

You'd find Kim Jon-un's picture. And speaking of pictures, there's one of the ad at the link.

North Korean officials visit salon over Kim Jong-un 'bad hair' advert

North Korean officials paid a visit to a London hair salon to question why it had used their leader Kim Jong-un's picture in a poster offering haircuts.

The poster in M&M Hair Academy in South Ealing featured the words "Bad Hair Day?" below the leader's picture.

Barber Karim Nabbach said embassy officials were shown the door and the salon's manager spoke to the police.

The Met Police said: "We have spoken to all parties involved and no offence has been disclosed."

The salon put up the poster on 9 April and the next day two men claiming to be officials from the North Korean embassy visited the salon and demanded to meet the manager, Mo Nabbach.

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April 16, 2014

Don't mess with Texas (2)

Man who 'whizzed' on Alamo to do time

SAN ANTONIO — Remember not to relieve yourself on the Alamo.

That was the lesson a judge tried Monday to impart on El Paso resident Daniel Athens, who was ordered to spend 18 months in a state jail facility for having urinated on the Texas shrine

Athens, 23, pleaded guilty to criminal mischief of a public monument or place of human burial in February in exchange for a deal that capped his possible punishment at 18 months. The crime usually is punishable by up to two years' incarceration.

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April 14, 2014

Please don't squeeze the jellyfish

Will Your Next Toilet Paper Roll Be Made Of Jellyfish??

Cine'al Ltd., an Israeli nanotechnology start-up, is developing technology to turn jellyfish into "super-absorbers," making the much-disdained sea creature suitable for use in diapers, tampons, medical sponges, even paper towels.

Jellyfish have been the bane of Israeli beaches in recent years, as warmer ocean temperatures have made coastal waters more hospitable for the creatures. During spring and early summer, millions of them appear near beaches, shoot their poison into the water and make swimming next to impossible. Where jellyfish abound, the water is likely to be empty. [...]

Cine'al sees a potential use for the scourge. Hydromash, the dry, flexible, strong material Cine'al is developing, is made from jellyfish and is allegedly several times more absorbent than the "quicker picker-upper" paper towels from the popular TV commercials.

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April 12, 2014

Topless is one way to put it

Pictures and video at the link.

She's lovin' it! The shocking moment a crazed topless woman DESTROYS a McDonald's before pausing to enjoy an ice cream cone

Unbelievable security camera footage shows a crazed topless woman in just her panties tearing apart a Florida McDonald's.

The video shows the nude, extremely agitated lady start her tirade by screaming into the St. Petersburg restaurant's kitchen before slamming her head onto the counter in a maniacal rage.

After proceeding to furiously dump the contents of a refrigerator onto the floor as employees stare in disbelief, she sticks her head under the soft serve dispenser and helps herself to a face full of ice cream.

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April 10, 2014

Mom... is that you?

Nursing home hired strippers for patients: suit

The elderly residents of a Long Island nursing home saw their shuffleboards replaced by washboard abs when they were subjected to a low-rent Chippendale's striptease in the facility's rec room, a new lawsuit claims.

The son of one resident, 86-year-old Bernice Youngblood, was shocked when he showed up for a visit and found a picture of his mom stuffing dollar bills — which are supposed to be locked away in her commissary account — into a dancer's briefs.

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April 08, 2014

Rat revenge

Dispute Over Guy Leads to Rat Retaliation

Philadelphia police are looking for several suspects in what appears to be a case of rat retaliation.

Investigators said an ongoing dispute over a man escalated late Wednesday, when a woman in her 20s, her mother and a pack of eight or nine other women went to the victim's house with a baseball bat and a box containing an unknown number of white rats.

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April 07, 2014

Dressed for success

Motorist, 21, Wearing A "Drunk As Shit" T-Shirt Is Arrested For Drunk Driving

An Oregon motorist wearing a “Drunk As Shit” t-shirt was arrested Sunday night on a DUI charge.

Ross McMakin, a 21-year-old Corvalis resident, was collared after he drove his vehicle on the sidewalk, struck a parked car, and then assaulted his girlfriend when she tried to seize the car keys.

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April 04, 2014

Easy money, ladies

...if you're a local reader.

Wanted: Women who can burp to order

Women in a US city who can belch on command are being given the chance to earn some extra cash.

An ad agency is offering ladies $750 - the equivalent of £450 - for burps of any size in St Louis, Missouri.

They want belches "from small, quiet burps to monstrously loud belches" for a fizzy drink commercial.

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April 03, 2014

Putting it on record

Rogue court stenographer causes chaos for New York legal system

Stenotype Stenograph Kochanski was fired after officials learned of issues with the transcripts for six trials and 24 other proceedings he'd worked on. Photo: Stephen Coles /Flickr

A Manhattan court stenographer caused chaos in New York's legal system when he typed nonsense instead of recording the proceedings in the trials for which he was responsible – including, in one case, reportedly writing, "I hate my job, I hate my job" into the transcript.

Officials have been rushing to fix the mess, first reported by the New York Post, by calling back witnesses, lawyers and judges in the affected cases to try to reconstruct missing transcripts.

A source at the New York state unified court system confirmed that the stenographer, Daniel Kochanski, 43, had been fired after officials learned of issues with the transcripts for six trials and 24 other legal proceedings he had worked on.

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April 02, 2014

Nice tutu

Live News Report Photobombed by a Unicorn Wearing a Tutu. Seriously.

This is the best local news photobombing ever, hands-down. WTLV reporter David Williams filed a report for Good Morning Jacksonville recently when the live report was interrupted by––and I am not making this up––a unicorn wearing a leotard and a tutu. [...]

Now, when I say it was a unicorn, I obviously don't mean an actual unicorn. That would be silly. It was someone dressed up as a unicorn in a tutu! Yes, that makes so much more sense.

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April 01, 2014

Today's PSA (11)

Drug-resistant mutant head lice now living in MOBILE PHONES

MEDICS fear a new strain of head lice resistant to drugs is now living in mobile phones.

The problem of head lice has been steadily rising for years and treatments to get rid of the irritating little scalp dwellers have got progressively stronger.

But the particular Z31lathawaugh strain now worrying doctors – known as the lughole louse – can dwell for up to 36 hours in the earpiece of a modern mobile phone.

The mobile phone industry is thought to be aware of the issue, but is struggling to find a solution because the discovery is so new.

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March 28, 2014

Shouldn't this be called an "ACM"?

Cupcake ATM Pops Out Treats in 10 Seconds

Do New Yorkers really need another way to consume cupcakes?

Yes. The answer is yes.

And now New Yorkers -- joining cupcake fanatics in cities like Dallas, Chicago, Atlanta, Las Vegas and Beverly Hills -- can get a cupcake 24 hours a day. Will the Sprinkles store opening next month on the Upper East Side of Manhattan be open all hours of the day and night? No, but its cupcake ATM will.

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March 27, 2014

I'll guess it was more than just alcohol

Va. Woman Arrested After Visiting Jailed Husband In the Nude

LANHAM, Md. (CBSDC) — A 26-year-old Virginia woman was arrested Saturday after she arrived naked at the Arlington County Magistrate's Office to visit her husband, who had been arrested in Clarendon earlier that day.

Police say Maura Fussell, of Reston, arrived at about 11 p.m. and refused to get dressed or to leave in a cab.

Fussell was arrested and charged with indecent exposure and being drunk in public. She was held until she sobered up.

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March 26, 2014

Who wouldn't want one?

North Korea: Students required to get Kim Jong-un haircut

Male university students in North Korea are now required to get the same haircut as their leader Kim Jong-un, it is reported.

The state-sanctioned guideline was introduced in the capital Pyongyang about two weeks ago, Radio Free Asia reports. It is now being rolled out across the country - although some people have expressed reservations about getting the look.

"Our leader's haircut is very particular, if you will," one source tells Radio Free Asia. "It doesn't always go with everyone since everyone has different face and head shapes." Meanwhile, a North Korean now living in China says the look is actually unpopular at home because people think it resembles Chinese smugglers. "Until the mid-2000s, we called it the 'Chinese smuggler haircut'," the Korea Times reports.

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March 24, 2014

Brewer and Governor

Beer taps installed in Colorado governor's mansion

State officials announced Friday that private donors have paid for a new "draft beer system" in the governor's mansion.

The mansion now has three taps that will feature changing Colorado-made brews.

The Colorado Craft Brewers Guild helped pay for the taps, along with the Governor's Mansion Preservation Fund. The price of the taps was not disclosed.

Gov. John Hickenlooper co-founded a downtown Denver brewpub in the late 1980s and frequently espouses his love for Colorado beers.

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March 21, 2014

Shoot-out at the Golden Corral

Senior Food Fight Lands Early Bird Diner In Jail

One senior citizen is in trouble with the law after police say she was the instigator in a food fight at a popular restaurant for the elderly.

Wilkesboro police say a 69-year-old-man and a 62-year-old woman were assaulted, one who was hit by a flying plate.

Police say it happened at the Golden Corral in Wilkesboro around 3:45 p.m. Tuesday.

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March 20, 2014

Nice work if you can get it (12)

Is Ed Houben Europe's most virile man?

Ed Houben has an unusual pastime. He has slept with scores of women who seek him out for his legendary powers of insemination. As John Laurenson discovers, he doesn't charge.

In a farm house in north-western Germany, heated by a lively fire in a wood-burning stove, a bulky and bespectacled Dutchman - he freely admits he is a bit on the heavy side - makes his way upstairs to the baby's room.

Ed Houben has come to see his daughter for the first time.

He talks gently to the six-week-old baby, and little Madita looks up at him. She is, he says, his 98th child.

Mr Houben is a "charitable sperm donor". He helps lesbian couples, single women and heterosexual couples with fertility problems to have children free of charge.

He started out in 2002 donating sperm to a sperm bank.

But his sperm donating career (he has a day job, by the way, as a tour guide) really hit its stride when the Netherlands, like many other European countries and Canada, banned anonymous sperm donation and he started offering his services for free on the internet.

He now donates his sperm in the "traditional way". Using the apparatus God gave him rather than a syringe. "Much better chance of conception," he says.

Take it, Benny...

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March 19, 2014

Wait... what? (9)

Gym tells woman she's intimidating guests with 'toned body'

A California woman was asked to cover up while working out at a Bay Area gym, after staff members say she was intimidating people with her toned body.

Tiffany Austin said she was excited to get back in shape after recovering from a recent car accident. After her doctor told her it was time to start walking more, she took a tour of the Planet Fitness Gym in Richmond. On Monday she officially joined the gym and was looking forward to her first workout – but that workout lasted a quick 15 minutes.

Austin said things started out well. She hopped on a treadmill, set the speed to slow, put her earbuds in and started walking. She started to notice others staring at her, and quickly grew self-conscious but she kept on walking. That is until a staff-member stopped her.

According to Austin that staff member said, "excuse me we've had some complaints you're intimidating people with your toned body. So can you put on a shirt?"

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March 18, 2014

Let's play "HIde the egg"

Sex game ends in hospital visit

Doctors on Sunday removed a hard-boiled egg from a woman's vagina after a lovers' sex game went sour, officials from the Shanghai No. 411 Hospital of the People's Liberation Army said yesterday.

The woman's husband said he inserted the peeled egg into his wife's vagina because he wanted to try something different during sex. But soon after, the woman complained of an unusual sensation in her lower abdomen and the pair decided they should seek help.

The couple, both in their 20s, said they had tried to remove the egg using chopsticks and a spoon. When that failed, the woman tried to free it by jumping up and down.

Title ref

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March 13, 2014

Irony meter pegged again (3)

Nigerian leader orders audit of missing billions

LAGOS, NIGERIA –  President Goodluck Jonathan has ordered a forensic audit by international firms into some $20 billion allegedly missing from petroleum sales, following weeks of public outrage and demands by a Senate committee and the finance minister.

Jonathan's announcement came buried in a statement attacking ousted Central Bank Gov. Lamido Sanusi, insisting that his suspension last month was unrelated to his whistle-blowing about what it calls "the phantom missing funds.

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March 12, 2014

Wow! (4)

Paul writes (with tongue in cheek), "Amazing technology."

AIDS cured! (says Egypt's military)
As it moves to consolidate power, army claims to have developed device that defeats deadly virus… with no side effects

More than 36 million people have died from the AIDS virus across the globe, and another 35.3 million are currently living with the disease.

But they no longer have any reason to worry. The Egyptian Army has defeated the disease.

And Hepatitis-C.

Or so claimed Egyptian Gen. Dr. Ibrahim Abdel-Atti, chief of the medical branch. "We defeated AIDS, and rest assured, we defeated AIDS," Abdel-Atti said Sunday at a press conference.

"And indeed," he said, according to a translation provided by Egyptian protest group We Are All Khaled Said. "I conquered AIDS with the blessings of my Lord, glory to him, with a rate of 100%."

The country's military leader Gen. Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi and President Adly Mansour were present at the conference, according to an official statement.

Abdel-Atti said he had pioneered a method by which he could extract the disease and break it into amino acids, "so that the virus becomes nutrition for the body instead of disease. This is a miracle in scientific research."

"I take AIDS from the patient, and feed the patient on AIDS, I give it to him as a kebab skewer to feed on," he said, presumably metaphorically. "I take the disease, and I give it to him as food, and this is the top of scientific miracles."

"And I conquered the 'C,'" Abdel-Atti added, referring to the Hepatitis C.

"You will never find a patient suffering from the Hepatitis C virus after today, God willing!"

complete-cure-device.jpg
Illustration of machine developed by Egyptian military that can cure AIDS and hepatitis C with no side-effects. (screen capture: CCTV Africa)

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March 11, 2014

Not a feline to trifle with

House cat in Oregon attacks baby, traps family in bedroom

(Reuters) - A rampaging, 22-pound Oregon house cat with a "history of violence" attacked a baby and trapped a family and their dog in a bedroom at their Portland home before being captured by police, authorities said on Monday.

The Sunday evening incident began when the cat, a black-and-white Himalayan, scratched a 7-month-old baby in the face, according to Portland Police Bureau spokesman Sergeant Pete Simpson.

The baby's father kicked the cat in the backside, which sent it into a rage, and the parents and baby, along with their dog, retreated into a bedroom as the father called police, Simpson said.

Meanwhile, the cat blocked the bedroom doorway and could be heard on the 911 call screeching loudly, Simpson said.

"He said that the cat has a history of violence," Simpson said, referring to the father speaking to the 911 operator.

When officers arrived and entered the house, they saw the cat scurry into the kitchen. After it scrambled atop the refrigerator, officers snared it and put it in a travel-style kennel, Simpson said.

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March 10, 2014

Guess who's not going to Europe...

Daughter's Facebook boast costs former Gulliver Prep headmaster $80,000 discrimination settlement

Hey kids, file this one under things not to do on Facebook.

The Third District Court of Appeal tossed out an $80,000 discrimination settlement Wednesday between Gulliver Preparatory School and its former headmaster Patrick Snay, ruling the ex-employee and his daughter breached the terms of a confidential agreement when she took to social media to brag about it.

"Mama and Papa Snay won the case against Gulliver," Dana Snay posted days later to her 1,200 Facebook friends. "Gulliver is now officially paying for my vacation to Europe this summer. SUCK IT."

The post, seen by current and former Gulliver students, made its way back to the school's attorneys, who told the Snays they'd violated the deal. Patrick Snay last year won a Circuit Court ruling to enforce the deal, but Judge Linda Ann Wells overturned that decision Wednesday.

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March 07, 2014

That'll buy a lot of napkins

Man sues McDonald's over napkin: Second napkin denial leads to $1.5 million suit

A man who is suing McDonald's over a napkin is asking a hefty award of $1.5 million for the mental anguish he has suffered. Apparently this really caused him a great deal of distress when he was only handed one napkin with his Quarter Pounder Deluxe. Clearly everyone knows that one of those burgers are at least worthy of two napkins!

It seems when Webster Lucas found only one napkin in his bag, he went to the counter and asked for another and he was refused, claims his lawsuit. This is when this unhappy customer claimed the manager made a racist remark to him, reports the New York Daily News on March 2.

The lawsuit came about because of the one napkin, but when this manager of the Pacoima, California McDonald's refused him another, he said something that Lucas took as racist. Lucas claims the Mexican-American boss said something under his breath that sounded like, "you people," which Lucas felt was in reference to him being black.

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March 05, 2014

Oh Noz!

What in the world is a "level 2 look alike firearm"? (And who hires these people to run schools?)

10-year-old suspended for making fingers into shape of gun

(CNN) -- Ten-year-old Nathan Entingh doesn't understand why he got suspended from school for three days.

According to his father, Paul Entingh, one moment the boy was "goofing off" with his friends in fifth-grade science class, and the next the teacher was taking him out of the classroom, invoking Ohio's zero-tolerance policy.

The offense? Nathan was "making his fingers look like a gun, having the thumb up and the pointed finger sticking out," said Entingh, describing the February 26 incident.

"He was pointing it at a friend's head and he said 'boom.' The kid didn't see it. No other kids saw it. But the teacher saw it," he said. "It wasn't threatening. It wasn't hostile. It was a 10-year-old kid playing."

The next morning Paul Entingh escorted his son Nathan to the principal's office, where they met with Devonshire Alternative Elementary School Principal Patricia Price.

"She said if it happened again the suspension would be longer, if not permanent," said Entingh, who also received a letter explaining the reason for Nathan's suspension as a "level 2 look alike firearm."


onoz.gif

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March 04, 2014

It's a what?

Confusion Is An Electronic Cigarette That Also Lets You Make Phone Calls

The Supersmoker looks like your run-of-the-mill e-cigarette. Only this one comes with its own Bluetooth chip, and mic and speaker set. This means that on top of vaporizing flavoured nicotine liquids, it lets you make and receive phone calls without even taking your phone out of your pocket. You can even stream music to it, thus serving as a Bluetooth speaker. It's an odd combination and we're still trying to figure out how exactly you're supposed to use it. Do you puff and talk at the same time? Or do you take it out of your mouth and hold it to your ear? It's bizarre but that's sort of what makes it interesting as well. $110 will get you one, and it's available now.

Video here, if you're interested.

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March 03, 2014

Timing is everything (2)

Dead Man Kicking: Mississippi Man Wakes Up In Funeral Home Right Before Embalming

A Mississippi funeral home says it found a man alive and kicking in a body bag hours after the coroner pronounced him dead.

Walter Williams was pronounced dead Wednesday night after his pulse stopped, but funeral home employees found him trying to kick through his body bag Thursday morning.

Eddie Hester, Williams’ nephew, said Friday Williams is in the hospital and breathing without the help of a respirator, but is too weak to talk.

“It’s a miracle,” Hester said in an interview. “I don’t know how long he’s gonna be here, but right now he’s here, and the whole family is glad.”

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February 28, 2014

Omm-nom-nom

Who wouldn't love 3-year-old pizza?

Three-year pizza to join US Army MRE delicacies

Pizza with a three-year shelf life will soon be joining the US Army's field rations menu. These infamous MREs (Meal, Ready to Eat) have a long and checkered history, acquiring such sobriquets over the years as "Meals Rejected by Everyone" and "Materials Resembling Edibles." Pizza has long topped the list of requested meals, but the task of providing a palatable slice of this complex food that will survive the required three-year shelf life has foiled all attempts. Now, the folks at Natick's Combat Feeding Directorate have achieved a minor miracle in food technology: stopping time for a slice of pizza.

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February 27, 2014

No more Woof

This reminds me of a very old joke.

Talking Dog Device Ready to Hit Market Soon

What if your dog could greet you with more than a growl, or announce the reason he's scratching at the door?

It sounds absurd and much like the storyline from the Pixar film, "Up," but Scandinavian scientists are working to develop a headset that could soon allow your furry best friend to speak his mind.

The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery is the brains behind "No More Woof" -- technology that aims to distinguish canine thought patterns and then issue them as short sentences via a microphone. [...]

The research team, who previously brought the world such inventions as the pet flying carpet, weren't immediately available for comment on Wednesday, but explained the most recent project on their website.

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February 26, 2014

Not an offer I'd be interested in

Bruce the dog offered a personal cheque by Darwin council for his testicles

BRUCE Wallder the great dane may well be the first dog in history to receive a cheque in the mail as consolation for having his testicles removed.

That is exactly what Darwin council did last week, much to the amusement of Bruce's owner Tom Wallder.

De-sexed dog owners receive a registration reimbursement of $60 from the council for having their pets de-sexed, however the last thing Mr Wallder - the human - was expecting was for the cheque to be sent out in the name of his beloved and recently castrated eight-month-old canine. "I said to my wife, 'that's funny, the dog is getting mail now'," Mr Wallder said.

"I don't know what Bruce is going to spend it on ... probably some new balls."

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February 25, 2014

Was the fire alarm broken?

Lindenwood student gets probation for bomb threat she called in because she hadn't finished homework

ST. CHARLES COUNTY • A Lindenwood University student who phoned in a bomb threat because she didn’t do her homework got a suspended sentence Monday and was placed on five years’ probation.

Lori L. Knight, 39, of the 5000 block of Lansdowne Avenue in St. Louis, pleaded guilty earlier of making a terrorist threat.

On May 1, Knight called Lindenwood’s main switchboard from a blocked phone line and told the operator that her “brother” planned a bombing.

Knight called Lindenwood’s Westport campus two hours later and asked if classes had been canceled.

She said her “niece” had heard about bomb threats at the St. Charles campus.

Police were able to trace Knight’s phone number, and she was apprehended a few hours later.

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February 24, 2014

Pure marketing genius

Girl Scout sells cookies outside pot dispensary: 117 boxes in 2 hours

It's that time of year again. Time when your local market entrances are flooded with Girl Scouts selling boxes of Samoas, Tagalongs and Thin Mints. But one 13-year-old Girl Scout in San Francisco and her mother made a rather business-savvy decision to sell cookies outside of a medical marijuana dispensary.  

On Monday, Danielle Lei and her mother set up shop outside the Green Cross store with the cookies. With the store's blessing, Lei sold 117 boxes in two hours. 

Holli Bert, a spokeswoman for the Green Cross, said that after just 45 minutes, Lei had to call for backup cookies to replenish her stock. 

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February 20, 2014

Don't mess with a man with a forklift

The Twix bar, the forklift, and the fired Iowan

It's a familiar tableau: an overpriced vending-machine candy bar dangles on a spiral hook, tantalizingly out of reach and refusing to drop.

For most of us, that mini-drama usually ends in defeat. But not for Robert McKevitt of Spirit Lake, whose victory over an uncooperative vending machine ultimately cost him his job.

McKevitt was working the second shift at Polaris Industries' warehouse in Milford when he decided to break for a snack last fall.

He says he deposited $1 in a vending machine, selected a 90-cent Twix bar, and then watched as the candy bar crept forward in its slot, began its descent and was abruptly snagged by a spiral hook that held it suspended in midair.

"I was, like, 'Oh, man,' " said McKevitt, 27. "So I put in another dollar, and then it wouldn't do anything."

At first, McKevitt's frustration took the customary route: He banged the side of the machine. He tried rocking it back and forth.

But when that didn't work, McKevitt walked away and commandeered an 8,000-pound forklift, according to state unemployment compensation records.

He reportedly drove up to the vending machine, lifted it 2 feet off the concrete warehouse floor — then let it drop. He allegedly repeated the maneuver at least six times, by which time three candy bars had fallen into the chute for his retrieval.

When a supervisor confronted him, McKevitt allegedly explained he was simply trying to get the snack he had paid for.

He was fired five days later.

In a ruling that became public last month, a state administrative law judge denied his claim for unemployment benefits, saying McKevitt had demonstrated a willful disregard for his employer's interests.

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February 19, 2014

The old banana peel scam

Screening for man charged after banana peel suit

WASHINGTON (AP) — A D.C. judge has ordered a psychological screening for a Maryland man accused of staging a fall on a banana peel in a Metro station elevator.

The screening was ordered Tuesday after a request from an attorney for 42-year-old Maurice Owens of District Heights. Owens sued the transit agency for $15,000, claiming he injured his left leg and hip in a fall at the Potomac Avenue station in August.

Surveillance video shows Owens dropping a banana peel, stepping on it as the elevator door opens, then appearing to thrust himself forward and falling to the ground.

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February 18, 2014

Chainsaw rampage

Man with flower pot on head wields chainsaw during robbery

6AM, UPDATE: An Ipswich teenager is accused of going on a drunken late-night chainsaw rampage inside a petrol station while wearing a flower pot on his head.

Police rushed to the 7-Eleven service station on Ash St, Flinders View, following calls for help from two terrified shop attendants.

It will be alleged the man - who was wearing a flower pot over his head in an attempt to conceal his identity - entered the store about 4.30am on Monday, while two staff members were cleaning a coffee machine.

Wielding a chainsaw which was running at the time, the man lunged at the store attendants, who retreated into a back room.

Police allege the man then used the chainsaw to damage a window and several display racks in the shop, before exposing his buttocks to the store attendants. He is accused of damaging a parked vehicle upon fleeing the scene.

It will be alleged the man made demands for money, but left the store only with a bottle of soft drink and the chainsaw.

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February 17, 2014

Send in the clowns

National clown shortage may be approaching, trade organizations fear

Send in the clowns — please!

As the “Greatest Show on Earth” returns to Brooklyn Thursday, circus folk fear a national clown shortage is on the horizon.

Membership at the country’s largest trade organizations for the jokesters has plunged over the past decade as declining interest, old age and higher standards among employers align against Krusty, Bozo and their crimson-nosed colleagues.

“What’s happening is attrition,” said Clowns of America International President Glen Kohlberger, who added that membership at the Florida-based organization has plummeted since 2006. “The older clowns are passing away.”

He said he wouldn’t release specific numbers, citing the privacy of the members.

Membership at the World Clown Association, the country’s largest trade group for clowns, has dropped from about 3,500 to 2,500 since 2004.

“The challenge is getting younger people involved in clowning,” said Association President Deanna (Dee Dee) Hartmier, who said most of her members are over 40.

H.T. Jeff G

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February 14, 2014

Save the doughnut

The Importance of a Giant Doughnut

It may not have the flashy movie-star credentials of the enormous sign at Randy’s, up the road near Los Angeles International Airport. But the giant pink doughnut that marks the former site of a Mrs. Chapman’s Angel Food Donuts chain is a beloved Long Beach landmark nonetheless.

It was erected in the 1950s, when fancifully shaped roadside signs were a common marketing ploy. And it endured even after the shop sold its last pastry more than 10 years ago. But in a strange twist of fate, the arrival of a new doughnut behemoth – national chain Dunkin’ Donuts – threatened to consign it to the trash heap.

The aging doughnut, perhaps structurally compromised, didn't fit into the company’s modern profile. The franchise announced plans to destroy it, along with the adjacent building, when it took over the site.

That’s when doughnut advocates sprang into action. The Los Angeles Conservancy and preservation-minded Long Beachers rallied, launching a campaign to "Save the Giant Donut."

It appears they've won their battle. In an appearance before the city planning commission last week, a managing partner of the Dunkin’ Donuts franchisee announced that his company had heard the message. "We want to be good neighbors," he said, according to the Los Angeles Times. "The last thing we want to do is be viewed as the guys that killed the doughnut."

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February 12, 2014

Oops (27)

Underarm pepper spray mix-up clears club

A German woman who mistook her pepper spray for deodorant and doused herself with it in a nightclub toilet, injuring two women and forcing the club to evacuate, could face negligent bodily harm charges.

The 20-year-old woman had nipped into the Bavarian club's toilets to freshen up late on Monday night. She reached into her friend's bag for her deodorant, but instead pulled out a canister of pepper spray. [...]

It immediately became clear that the spray was not what she thought though, and the irritant gas – which can be used for self defence and crowd control – spread out into the rest of the disco. Two women sustained eye injuries and had to be given medical treatment.

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February 07, 2014

You should've seen the one that got away

Intruder scared away by Big Mouth Billy Bass

The crime scene of a break-in at a Rochester's Hooked on Fishing shop showed evidence that a burglar got scared off by a motion-activated, singing bass, authorities said.

The novelty bass, which had been hung near the door and would start singing "Take Me to the River" whenever someone entered the shop, was found on the floor after the intruder knocked it down as part of breaking the door to get in, according to the Olmsted County Sheriff's Office.

But the intruder appeared to have left in a hurry, without stealing anything -- not tackle nor cash that had been left in "a very visible spot," Sgt. Tom Claymon said.

The bass "took one for the team," Claymon said. "There were plenty of things to take but nothing was missing … other than Billy's pride"

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February 06, 2014

Bad moon indeed

Ghan be a bad moon rising

A BUNCH of bare asses are about to celebrate 10 years since they mooned the first passenger train from Adelaide to Darwin.

And the only difference in their re-creation is a bit more hair and a lot more saggy skin.

The residents of Livingstone, 40km southeast of Darwin, came up with the idea as the first Ghan passenger train was about to reach Darwin on February 3, 2004.

Spokeswoman Michelle Salmon said: "It was just supposed to be locals and then word got out and this whole airstrip was lined with asses".

A crude poster drawn by local Marko Maguire was pinned at the local reserve and word got out to about 400 people who turned up at Livingstone Airstrip, helped by the NT News.

"We did it because we're buggers out here," Ms Salmon said.

"We have dinner parties on car trailers and silly things like that. And Micko said: 'We should moon the Ghan when it comes through'. It was a rare blue moon that night."

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February 04, 2014

Pants - who needs 'em?

Postal worker dons pants for first time in 10 years

WALLED LAKE, Mich., Feb. 3 (UPI) -- A Michigan postal worker said this winter's subzero temperatures led him to don full-length pants for the first time in 10 years.

Kenny Martin, 56, of White Lake Township, said he has worn his postal worker shorts year round on his route in Walled Lake for the past 10 years, but this winter saw him finally put on long pants to go to work, the Detroit Free Press reported Monday.

"Awfully cold this year. This is the first time in 10 years that I actually started wearing pants to work. Once I hit the zero mark, that was it," Martin said. [...]

"Pants are just an inconvenience. They're for two things. They're for weddings and funerals," he said.

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January 31, 2014

Sad cow face

No Super Bowl ad for Nampa fertilizer company

The owners of Nampa fertilizer company Poop - Natural Dairy Compost, learned their TV ad will not play during the Super Bowl this Sunday. The company was a finalist in a national small business contest sponsored by Intuit awarding a 30-second TV ad to the winner.

The company announced the news via its Twitter feed, @GlenndaDaCow: "Sad cow face...the boys just told the herd we didn't win...Big thanks to all who have supported us!"

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January 30, 2014

Just call him Woody

Yeow!

Man somehow survives going through wood chipper

Frank Arce truly must have a guardian angel looking after him. That's how he explains surviving the unthinkable; being caught inside a high-powered wood chipper when it was mistakenly turned on.

Arce had gone in to the machine to dislodge an object that had clogged up the machine. Before going in, he says he made sure the machinery was turned off in accordance with his company's safety protocol. But once inside he heard a sickening noise; the engine powering on.

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January 29, 2014

It's Miller Time

Man fights off shark, stitches up own leg, goes to the pub

A junior doctor has recounted how he fended off a shark attack and stitched up his own wound on the beach before enjoying a pint of beer at a nearby pub.

James Grant was spearfishing with friends near Colac Bay at the base of New Zealand's South Island on Saturday when he was attacked by what he believed was a sevengill shark. [...]

He quickly made it on to rocks on the shore, where he took off the wetsuit – borrowed from a friend – and saw bites up to 5cm long.

Grant gave himself stitches using a first aid kit he kept in his vehicle for pig hunts. He and his friends then went to the Colac Bay Tavern, where he was given a bandage because he was dripping blood on the floor.

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January 27, 2014

Ehh, what's up doc?

Picture of the mystery rabbit at the link.

Nelson Mandela statue: Sculptors told to remove bronze rabbit hidden in the ear

A bronze rabbit nestled in the ear of the recently unveiled Nelson Mandela statue has angered the South African Government, which has ordered sculptors to remove the animal and "restore the statue back to dignity".

The 30ft-high bronze statue stands outside the government's headquarters known as the Union Buildings in Pretoria.

Portraying Mr Mandela with his arms outstretched the current South African President, Jacob Zuma, said it is designed to reflect that he had embraced the entire nation.

Upon closer inspection, a bronze statue of a rabbit can be seen peering out from inside the ear.

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January 23, 2014

It's hard to tell who's crazy here

Man sues Jennifer Lopez for 'tricking him into sending her naked photos of himself'

A man is suing Jennifer Lopez for allegedly tricking him into sending her nude photos of himself.

The pop star, 44, is being sued in Los Angeles by Rodrigo Ruiz, who is asking for $10,000, alleging a series of letters from Jennifer left him so depressed he sought counseling, according to a report on TMZ.

But it appears that a 53-year-old woman is behind the bizzare events, according to the report.

In the suit, Ruiz says the singer mailed him a series of unsolicited letters, beginning in 2008, demanding he send her naked photos and demo CDs.

The suit further claims the letters encouraged his belief that he had a chance at a music career and a possible romance with Jennifer.

He says she failed to follow through, leaving him with depression for which he sought professional help.

In addition to the lawsuit, Ruiz filed a police report claiming sexual harassment.

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January 22, 2014

And the winners are...

The 25 most common passwords of 2013

Password security is more important than ever. If you wonder which ones are the worst to use, check out the 25 most common passwords of 2013 and avoid them like the plague.

According to password management company SplashData, the top three passwords of the year are "123456," "password" and "12345678." The top three passwords haven't changed, but "123456" and "password" swapped places from last year. The company's list of the "25 worst passwords of the year" was compiled using data that hackers have posted online, which are said to be stolen passwords.

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January 21, 2014

The Internet of Spambots

Fridge sends spam emails as attack hits smart gadgets

A fridge has been discovered sending out spam after a web attack managed to compromise smart gadgets.

The fridge was one of more than 100,000 devices used to take part in the spam campaign.

Uncovered by security firm Proofpoint the attack compromised computers, home routers, media PCs and smart TV sets.

The attack is believed to be one of the first to exploit the lax security on devices that are part of the "internet of things".

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January 20, 2014

Someday you'll thank me, bro

Woman cancel's brother's wedding because she HATED the bride

Ann Duffy, 50, impersonated her future sister-in-law when she rung up Plymouth Registry Office in Devon to tell them that she wanted to cancel the wedding - just 20 days before it was set to take place.

A court heard how on the same day that Duffy cancelled the wedding, she called her brother and said: "You better put this on speakerphone.

"I have saved you on the divorce.

"I have cancelled your wedding.

"Would you like me to send you the confirmation email?"

The friction between the two women was said to be over the care of Duffy's mum, who all three were living with.

In a police interview, Duffy said she was trying to protect her brother from a marriage to someone she dislikes and who she believed was taking her mother away.

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January 18, 2014

They're everywhere

TIL that 'invigilator' is a word.

CHEATERS BEWARE: Belgian school uses aerial drone to monitor exams

Thomas More school, located about 30km north of Brussels, posted a video on YouTube showing the aerial drone soaring above students while they take a test.

The tiny DJI Phantom aircraft, armed with a GoPro video camera, is controlled by one invigilator while another watches a monitor for potential cheats.

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January 17, 2014

Just put some cards in the spokes

Oh, yeah.... This'll make your Kia Soul sound really impressive I'm sure.

Automakers work with BlackBerry's QNX to develop synthetic engine sounds

TORONTO -- For car lovers, there is just something about a revving engine that gets the blood moving faster.

Now automakers can capitalize on that feeling by teaming with a division of BlackBerry that is developing a way to replicate the sound of yesteryear's driving experience, even as cars become quieter and more fuel efficient.

QNX Software Systems -- acquired by BlackBerry (TSX:BB) nearly four years ago -- debuted a couple of concept cars on Tuesday at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.

One is a modified Kia Soul hatchback that showcases a new technology called "engine sound enhancement." In its most basic form, it's a soundtrack that simulates the engine both inside the car and for people on the outside through speakers.

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January 16, 2014

Who's crazy?

Space aliens seem to be a hot topic these days.

Jennifer McCarthy Pulls Gun From Vagina After Dispute Over Space Aliens: Cops

The ex-wife of Pulitzer Prize-winning author Cormac McCarthy was arrested Saturday after allegedly whipping a gun out of her vagina and threatening her boyfriend.

Jennifer McCarthy, 48, got into an argument with her 53-year-old lover about space aliens, according to a probable cause affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun. McCarthy left her Santa Fe residence, then came back and changed into lingerie. The outfit was accessorized by a silver handgun placed in her vagina, with which she began to have "inner course," [sic] according to the affidavit.

While cleaning the chamber, McCarthy reportedly posed the question, "Who is crazy, you or me?" before pulling out the gun and pointing it at her boyfriend's head, the Albuquerque Journal reported. The boyfriend told deputies he wrested the weapon away from her and put it first in the toilet, then the trash can.

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January 15, 2014

Whoa, Trigger!

Question: How could a passenger jet land at the wrong airport? Answer: Uh ...

(CNN) -- A day after a Southwest Airlines jet with 124 passengers landed at the wrong airport, many are asking: How in the world could that happen?

"It's not common, but it's not unheard of," said pilot Mark Weiss, a 20-year veteran of commercial aviation who has frequently flown Boeing 737-700s, the same kind of aircraft that touched down Sunday at a small airport in Taney County, Missouri, about seven miles from where it was supposed to land at Branson Airport.

The plane stopped about 500 feet from the end of a runway at M. Graham Clark Downtown Airport, but no one was injured, said Chris Berndt, the Western Taney County Fire District fire chief and emergency management director. [...]

The airport's runway is 3,738 feet long, about half the length of the Branson Airport runway, which is 7,140 feet. That forced pilots to act fast and brake hard when the aircraft touched down.

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January 14, 2014

I just read the daily news... (2)

...and swear by every word.

Iranian news agency says the U.S. is secretly run by Nazi space aliens. Really.

Iran's semi-official news outlets have something of a reputation for taking conspiracy theorism to the next level. They've written on Israel's secret plans to annex Iraq, the conspiracy by Western media to fabricate quotes by Iranian President Hassan Rouhani condemning the Holocaust and the secret Jewishness of the British royal family. You may notice a certain theme here.

On Sunday, the hard-line semi-official Fars News dropped one of its biggest bombshells yet: The United States government has been secretly run by a "shadow government" of space aliens since 1945. Yes, space aliens. The alien government is based out of Nevada and had previously run Nazi Germany. It adds, for timeliness, that the controversial NSA programs are actually a tool for the aliens to hide their presence on Earth and their secret agenda for global domination. This is all asserted as incontrovertible fact with no caveats.

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January 13, 2014

Monkey drugs

Experts: Florida's millipedes harmless to humans, useful to monkeys

FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla., Jan. 13 (UPI) -- Experts said the millipedes infesting south Florida are harmless to humans and serve as both mosquito repellant and a recreational drug to monkeys. [...]

G.B. Edwards, an entomologist with the Division of Plant Industry at the state Department of Agriculture in Gainesville, said the millipedes are also put to good use by monkeys, which rub the creatures on their fur to use their defensive chemical as an insecticide. He said the monkeys also eat the millipedes as a hallucinogen.

"They eat them," Edwards said. "I wouldn't recommend a person doing that."

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January 10, 2014

A proud Pastafarian

‘Strainer’ things have happened

A unique style of headwear was present during newly-seated Pomfret Town Council member Christopher Schaeffer's oath of office Thursday afternoon, but it wasn't intended to keep his head warm.

Schaeffer wore a colander (a strainer typically used to drain water from spaghetti) while Town Clerk Allison Dispense administered the oath of office to him before the board's reorganizational meeting. When the OBSERVER asked afterward why he wore a colander on his head, Schaeffer said he was a minister with an even more unique organization - the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

"It's just a statement about religious freedom," he said. "It's a religion without any dogma."

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January 09, 2014

Mr. Reichert is feeling lucky

Residents Fuming Over Name Of Northern NJ Smoke Shop

HACKENSACK, N.J. (CBSNewYork/AP) – Some northern New Jersey residents are fired up over a new smoke shop that's about to open in their neighborhood.

It's not the bongs and other paraphernalia that have them fuming. It's the name: Fu King Smoke Shop.

Picture the sign, then use your imagination.

The head of a parent teachers association at a nearby Hackensack elementary school told The Record that the sign "is almost like an insult to the intelligence" of the community.

The store's owner begs to differ. [...]

Reichert said “Fu” is Chinese for wealth or lucky, and is part of a theme.

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January 08, 2014

I'm sure he was

Mooroopna is in the Strine state of Victoria.

Embarrassing end to naked hijinks

Emergency service crews were called out to help free a naked man from a washing machine in Mooroopna.

Emergency services took 20 minutes to free a naked Mooroopna man from a top-loading washing machine after a game of hide-and-seek went horribly wrong.

Shepparton police Sergeant Michelle De Araugo said the man had attempted to climb into the washing machine on Saturday afternoon with the aim of surprising his partner, but he became firmly wedged.

Police, firefighters, paramedics, Tatura SES and Shepparton Search and Rescue Squad had to work out how to manoeuvre the man to free him from the tight space.

''He was very well wedged in there and we were concerned for his health and wellbeing,'' Sgt De Araugo said.

''It was just a game gone wrong.

''It would be fair to say the gentleman was very embarrassed.''

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January 07, 2014

Hmm... maybe his flamethrower's for sale

'Fire-breathing weaponry'? That's a new one.

Fargo Man Arrested For Clearing Snow With Flamethrower

Fargo, ND – Local resident Todd Fox has been detained for "reckless endangerment" and "illegal use of high-powered fire-breathing weaponry" for attacking snow with his flamethrower. Fox reportedly became so fed up with the week-long blowing snow epidemic in his area that he decided to KILL IT WITH FIRE.

The neighborhood was treated with quite a show last night as Fox unleashed an inferno upon the mountainous snow palace that was his front yard. Neighbors to his immediate right and left noticed a bright orange cloud and could hear what they thought was "puff the magic dragon spewing mayhem all over hell," which prompted one of them to notify police.

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January 06, 2014

Well, duh (5)

It's official: Pope has not abolished sin, says Vatican

VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - The Vatican felt compelled on Tuesday to deny that Pope Francis had "abolished sin", after a well-known Italian intellectual wrote that he had effectively done so through his words and gestures.

The singular exchange began on Sunday when Eugenio Scalfari, an atheist who writes opinion pieces for the left-leaning La Repubblica newspaper, published an article titled "Francis' Revolution: He has abolished sin".

Scalfari, who held a long private conversation with the pope earlier this year and wrote about it several times, concluded in the complex, treatise-like article that Francis believed sin effectively no longer existed because God's mercy and forgiveness were "eternal".

Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi told Vatican Radio that "this affirmation that the pope has abolished sin" was wrong.

"Those who really follow the pope daily know how many times he has spoken about sin and our (human) condition as sinners," Lombardi said.

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January 03, 2014

It's a cold, cruel world

Missouri man says he robbed store to return to prison

ST. JOSEPH, Mo. • A Missouri man says he meant to get caught in November when he tried to rob a St. Joseph convenience store.

When the man asked the clerk to open the cash register and give him the money, the clerk refused — even after Roy Murphy, 43, offered to put on the camouflage ski mask he was carrying.

The St. Joseph News-Press reports Murphy was prepared to plead guilty Monday to second-degree robbery. But Circuit Judge Patrick Robb told him there was no threat of physical force, so he couldn't convict Murphy of the charge.

Murphy told the judge he doesn't know how to make it outside of prison and wanted to go back.

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January 02, 2014

I'll bet the Gideons never expected this

Two charged with battery following fight over Bible, Ten Commandments

CARTERSVILLE, Ga., Dec. 29 (UPI) -- A man and a woman were arrested for battery following a fight over the Bible and the Ten Commandments, Georgia police said.

The fight occurred at 1 a.m. Saturday morning in a hotel room in Cartersville.

When the police officer entered the motel room, he saw blood on the carpet and a bloody towel in the sink, the police report states.

Carolyn Unfricht, one of the detainees, told the officer that the conversation had become tense, and that she used a Bible to hit Daniel Camarda across the face, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported.

Camarda then allegedly slung Unfricht across the room, and she suffered a cut to her head and an injury to her foot.

Both individuals were highly intoxicated, were slurring their speech and had difficulty walking, police said.

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January 01, 2014

When your knickers get in a twist...

I shudder to think what Japanese game shows will do with this.

Knickers are downloaded as couple produce underwear on 3D printer

Mornings when you cannot find a pair of clean pants could be a thing of the past thanks to an Israeli couple whose revolutionary technology makes it possible to download a pair of new knickers through 3D printing.

Tami and Udi Giloh have developed a woven fabric created on a hi-tech printer, and are in discussions with suppliers to lingerie retailer Victoria's Secret over a possible marketing deal.

The couple moved to north Manchester from Israel to develop the technology through their company Tamicare, and claim to be able to print a pair of knickers in three seconds, potentially producing 10 million pairs in a year.

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December 31, 2013

Famous potatoes

Giant potato ready to drop in downtown Boise on New Year's Eve

BOISE -- New York is preparing for the big New Year's Eve celebration in Times Square.

In Boise, it's going to be a unique New Year's Eve celebration as organizers get ready for the Idaho Potato Drop.

As the clock counts down to midnight, the glowing 16-foot long potato will be lowered from the U.S. Bank building in downtown Boise.

Title ref

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December 30, 2013

You deserve a break today

McDonald's employee site bashes fast food

McDonald's employee resources website once again is giving out worker advice that doesn't seem to fit. This time, it's about the industry it helped make ubiquitous — fast food.

"Fast foods are quick, reasonably priced, and readily available alternatives to home cooking. While convenient and economical for a busy lifestyle, fast foods are typically high in calories, fat, saturated fat, sugar, and salt and may put people at risk for becoming overweight," reads one post on the site, which includes a picture of a hamburger and fries, two items that the fast-food giant specializes in selling.

Another post labels a meal with a cheeseburger and fries as the "unhealthy choice" and one with a submarine sandwich and salad as the "healthier choice," noting that it's more of a challenge to eat healthy when visiting a fast-food place.

A separate post writes, "it is hard to eat a healthy diet when you eat at fast-food restaurants often," adding that large portions make it easy to overeat.

H.T. Jeff G

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December 27, 2013

Criminal master minds (4)

Bungling burglar left dangling upside down with head on toilet, Hull Crown Court hears

A BUNGLING burglar was left dangling upside down with his head on a toilet for more than an hour-and-half after getting stuck in a bathroom window.

Daniel Severn, 27, dropped his mobile phone in the bath during the attempted break-in, so was unable to call for help.

The owner of the house woke up, ready to go to work, only to find Severn hanging over his toilet.

Severn, who was wearing Marigold gloves and had a bag for his loot and a knife on him, said: "Please help. Call the police."

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December 24, 2013

An early Christmas gift

Driver flung 50 feet off overpass in Revere crash, survives
James Fay got 'Christmas present early,' trooper says

REVERE, Mass. —A driver is lucky to be alive Thursday after falling 50 feet when he was ejected from his SUV in a crash in Revere.

James Fay was driving home for lunch when his SUV crashed at Copeland Circle, which is Route 1 North, in Revere.

According to police, as Fay's SUV rolled over he was thrown out of the sunroof and fell approximately 50 feet from the overpass, landing in the snow below.

"He was conscious, alert, he was talking. And the State Police on scene told us that he had been walking around prior to that," said Lt. William Brown, a Revere EMT.

"That's definitely a miracle. You might even call it a Christmas miracle," said Fay's friend, Will Teleau.

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December 23, 2013

Ho, ho, ho and No, no, no

Drunk Santa and tipsy helper crash sleigh

A drunk Santa and his pie-eyed helper are both in hospital after falling out of their sleigh during a tipsy ride down a busy high street.

The 51-year-old Father Christmas and his 31-year-old female helper had been singing Xmas carols and waving at locals as they trotted down the busy street in Ustrzykach Dolnych, Poland, when a passing car beeped them, scaring the horse which reared up sending them flying into the road.

Passerby Zdzislaw Molodynski who captured the scene on camera said: "It was quite extraordinary.

"They were supposed to have been an attraction at the local market and lots of people were taking their children there to go and see them.

"But instead they saw these two, who were clearly under the influence, behaving like they had just come out of a nightclub or something.

"Then a car started beeping them which threw the horse into a panic.

"It reared up and sent them smashing into the wall on the corner of the street.

"It was a mixture of 'Ho, ho, ho' and 'No, no, no'," he said.

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December 22, 2013

Travel advice

Dave Barry writes:

TRAVEL TIP

If you're planning to travel by air today, consider just staying home and stabbing yourself repeatedly in the eyeball with a fork.

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December 21, 2013

But could he parallel park?

If you made this stuff up nobody would believe you.

Cops: Man Arrested For DWI After Showing Up Drunk To Motor Vehicle Test

A New Jersey man is facing a drunk driving charge after allegedly attempting to take a motor vehicle test while intoxicated, according to cops.

Stephen Goss, 53, was arrested last week at a Motor Vehicle Commission office when a state instructor detected "a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emanating" from his breath, according to a Randolph Township Police Department statement.

After cops were summoned, Goss underwent a field sobriety test, which indicated that he was impaired. A subsequent Breathalyzer test recorded his blood alcohol content at .13, well over the .08 legal limit.

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December 20, 2013

Largest Gingerbread Village?

News from Norway

'My gingerbread village is bigger than yours'

A battle has broken out between Bergen and New York over which city has constructed the world's largest gingerbread village.

On 17 November, a 135-house village constructed in Queen's, New York, was officially named "the world's largest gingerbread village" by the Guinness Book of Records.

But Bergen on Tuesday unveiled a village more than ten times as big, with no fewer than 1,990 trains and buildings spread out over 380 square meters.

"Once again we have the record. It's just totally amazing, we simply have the largest, most beautiful and best gingerbread city in the universe," Steinar Kristoffersen, who leads the city's 'Pepperkakebyen' project said at the opening.

New York immediately rebutted the claim, however, arguing that Bergen falls short on important technicalities.

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Largest Gingerbread House

Gingerbread-covered house would be a more accurate description.

Texas lays claim to the world's largest gingerbread house

Living up to its reputation of largeness, the state of Texas has now become home to the world's largest gingerbread house. Located at the Traditions Golf Club in the city of Bryan, the larger-than-life gingerbread house measures 39,201.8 cubic feet (1,110.1 cubic meters) and officially holds the new Guinness World Record. This defeats the record previously held by the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota, with its 36,600 cubic foot (1,036.4 cubic meter) gingerbread house.

texas-gingerbread-house.jpg
1 of 13 images

Via Gizmag

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December 19, 2013

What's in a name? (5)

I hope this lad's named after the revolver and not after the malt liquor.

Colt .45 Stratemeyer

Colt .45 Stratemeyer was born Nov. 26, 2013 at Tillamook Regional Medical Center. He weighed seven pounds, two ounces. He joins his older brother, Hunter Allen Stratemeyer, 3.

Baby Colt’s parents are Joshua and Rebekah Stratemeyer of Toledo.

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December 18, 2013

The more, the merrier

Maryland woman packs whopping 277 Christmas trees inside her home

Christmas is a huge deal in this Maryland home, whose owners have decorated it with an astonishing 277 trees.

Two decades of fierce sibling rivalry with her Oklahoma-based sister has led Renetta Zanco to stuff her Lothian house full of the festive plants.

And with 28 in the bathroom alone, including one made out of toilet roll, she thinks she's got this year's competition well and truly sewn up.

"I've got her beat now," she told My Fox DC.

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December 14, 2013

Snow in Cairo?

I'm trying to picture Cairo drivers in snow... It's not pretty.

Snow in Cairo for the first time in 112 years

WHEN you think Cairo you think heat and sand.

But something unusual happened there overnight - it snowed!

According to local reports it's the first time snow has fallen in the Egyptian capital in 112 years.

Incredible pictures show the normally sweltering city coated in white.

Egyptians took to Twitter to post their amazement in words and pictures.

The Egyptian Meteorological Authority warned on Wednesday the unusual weather will drive down temperatures to between 5 and 15 Celsius.

Snow was reported on Mt. Sinai and Saint Catherine's monastery at the base of the mountain.

A powerful winter storm is affecting parts of the Middle East.

Sections of Israel saw heavy snow up to about a metre.

Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat told The Times of Israel, "We're facing a rare storm the likes of which we've never seen."

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December 13, 2013

First impressions

A Craigslist ad in Seattle.

You farted in Pike Place Market - m4w - 30 (Seattle)

You were the hot brunette with curves that farted near the produce this weekend. I was the tall guy next to you that looked over and asked, "Was that you?" You quickly replied "No... Wasn't me!" You almost seemed insulted I would ask. As the stink grew you continued to deny your flatulence, but it was evident. I tried to get rid of the stench by waving a couple loafs of bread from La Panier. You proceeded to storm off in an angry manner. You are beautiful and even though you are a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I would love to meet up for a drink sometime.

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December 10, 2013

And what an unusual gift it will make

Michael writes that he found this while 'cruising around looking for presents.'

unicorn-meat.jpg

No foolin' - Unicorn meat is real!
Excellent source of sparkles!

Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat.

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December 09, 2013

All's well that ends well

Ore. man learns driving tank harder than it looks

GOLD BEACH, Ore. (AP) — Sometimes an owner's manual is not enough.

Oregon State Police say that's what a 58-year-old man learned when he tried to drive a 50-ton battle tank up a steep grade near the coastal town of Gold Beach.

The Oregonian reports that the 1969 Chieftain had been purchased by a local resident, but a truck driver transporting the tank was unable to climb the grade. So he unloaded it at a turnout along U.S. Highway 101.

The owner's caretaker, Jeffrey Glossop of Pistol River, decided he could get the tank up the hill.

State Police Lt. Gregg Hastings notes that Glossop had the operator's manual.

But Hastings says the tank slipped out of gear and rolled back down across the busy highway, crashing through a guardrail. [...]

Glossop was cited for reckless driving and first-degree criminal mischief.

Hastings says the tank is fine.

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December 07, 2013

It's not the heat...

'Stupidity ran deep' during 'stab-proof' vest demonstration

EDMONTON - A young Edmonton man who grievously wounded his friend while testing a supposedly "stab-proof" vest was sentenced to six months in jail Tuesday.

Court heard that Justin Harder, 18, was bragging to his friend Calvin Wesley Clackson, 21 about a "stab-proof" vest he'd just acquired as they hung out in an apartment suite at 106th Avenue and 116th Street, Crown prosecutor Mark Huyser-Wierenga told court.

Harder was so confident in the vest that night in October 2012 that he believed it would deflect any attack with a knife. Harder eagerly invited his friend to stab him in the chest to prove the vest worked.

"Mr. Clackson foolishly obliged him," Huyser-Wierenga said.

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December 06, 2013

This is news?

Cats Recognize Their Owner's Voice But Choose to Ignore It

Cats, according to new research, recognize their owner's voice. They just can't be bothered to react to it.

Researchers in Japan arrived at this conclusion after performing experiments with twenty house cats. They played recordings of the cats' owners' calling to their pets in whatever cat-talk voice they typically used. They also played recordings of three strangers calling to the cats, using the same words.

To quantify the cats' reactions, the researchers recorded how often cats moved their head, tail, paws or ears, or whether they meowed or dilated their pupils. While the cats showed a significantly greater response to their owners calling their names than to strangers doing so, they did not bother to get up in either instance, the researchers found.

(And cats don't have 'owners'.)

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December 05, 2013

Good morning! (3)

Tennessee McDonald's serves couple paper bag full of cash instead of breakfast

McDonald's? They're LOVIN' it!

A couple rocked up at a Tennessee drive-thru to pick up a breakfast snack — and ended up being handed a paper bag stuffed full of cash.

Greg and Stacye Terry couldn't believe their eyes when they returned home and found bill-brimmed pouch.

But the honest couple headed straight back to hand in the loot.

Turns out, bumbling workers left thousands of dollars destined for the bank in a bag on a counter.

A staffer then mistakenly picked up the money instead of the customers' grub.

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December 04, 2013

Condoms of Tomorrow

Vacuum cleaners, eh?

Condom Contest Produces 812 Ideas for Improvement

The condom of the future might be made of cow tendon or fish skin. It might have "shape memory" to instantly mold to a specific man. Or it might come with pull tabs so a man could slip it on with little fuss.

Those ideas are among the winners announced Wednesday by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation of a contest to create a condom that men would actually use. The contest, the foundation said, aimed to decrease unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases with "a next-generation condom that significantly preserves or enhances pleasure."

The foundation received 812 applications, chose 11 and awarded the winners $100,000 each. They could receive up to $1 million after they develop the ideas. Steven Buchsbaum, a Gates Foundation official, said winners ranged from a longtime condom manufacturer in India to American chemical engineers to British design consultants whose previous work included vacuum cleaners.

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November 29, 2013

A man with a mission

Bless his heart.

Israeli restaurant: Turn off phone, get discount

ABU GHOSH, Israel (AP) - A restaurant owner in an Arab village outside of Jerusalem says he is on a mission to save culinary culture by making diners a simple offer: Turn off your cellphone and get a 50 percent discount.

Jawdat Ibrahim says smartphones have destroyed the modern dining experience. He hopes the generous discount will bring back a more innocent time when going to a restaurant was about companionship, conversation and appreciating the food, rather than surfing, texting or talking to the office.

"I'm changing something. It might be something small, but maybe in some small way I'll be changing the culture of eating," said Ibrahim, 49.

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November 26, 2013

Which is worse?

Mandy or La Traviata?

McDonald's restaurant turns to opera to drive out loitering teenagers

A McDonald's outlet in Australia has begun playing classical musical and opera late at night to deter young people from loitering around the restaurant.

Fed up with their outlet's nocturnal transformation into an unofficial youth club, the store adopted the tactic a few weeks ago and says it has significantly reduced the number of loiterers, particularly around the car park. The strategy has reportedly been tried before by a local council at a car park in Australia, though previous efforts involved blaring songs by Barry Manilow.

Matthew Watson, the operations manager at the Mt Annan McDonald's on the outskirts of Sydney, said the music had been a successful deterrent.

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November 25, 2013

You can rest easy in Montana

Sack of potatoes subdued without incident

You couldn't make this stuff up! A Kalispell Police officer and a Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks officer were able to remove a five-pound sack of potatoes reported hanging from a tree on Seventh Street East that looked like it might fall into the street. Apparently, the potatoes were subdued without causing any mayhem.

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November 22, 2013

They "forgot"... twice

I used to hear stories like this when my children were teens.

Utah town forgets to hold election

A Utah town set the gold standard for election mismanagement this month when it simply forgot to hold an election.

The town of Wallsburg, Utah, was meant to elect a new mayor and city council on November 5. But, the Salt Lake Tribune reported, the person in charge of running the election forgot to make the necessary preparations, like letting people know that the filing period for candidates had opened, and printing ballots.

By the time the mistake was realized, it was too close to the day that was supposed to be election day to remedy the situation. [...]

This is the second cycle in a row that the town has forgotten to hold an election.

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November 21, 2013

Hydrogen Boy

Honda's "Hydrogen Boy" pees his way to a cleaner world

TOKYO: A little boy urinating might not easily conjure up images of a cleaner world, but Honda had other ideas on Thursday as it tries to promote its green-car technology.

The Japanese firm erected a two-metre (6.6 foot) replica of famous Brussels landmark Manneken Pis -- the bronze statue of a boy peeing into a fountain -- for its display at the Tokyo Motor Show.

The not-so-little plastic "Piss Boy", as the famous statue is known in Japan, was meant to show how the company's fuel-cell technology works, and along with the hydrogen tank strapped to his back it has been appropriately named "Hydrogen Boy".

"When hydrogen and oxygen go into a fuel cell, they react chemically and generate power," the boy's recorded voice tells passersby in Japanese, his eyes flashing as he urinates into a pool below.

"But only water comes out. Dribble, dribble."

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November 20, 2013

A little unclear on the concept

Till death do us part: Couple create gruesome wedding cake made of their own bloody severed heads

A film buff couple had a gruesome wedding cake made of their own severed heads.

Natalie Sideserf, 28, a cake artist spent forty hours creating the cake to match her movie-themed wedding.

Both heads are lifelike, with blank soulless eyes, hair matted with blood and bleeding severed necks.

They were placed on a white board, with a banner draped on the base aptly reading: 'Til Death Do Us Part.'

She said they chose it because her husband David Sideserf, 30, is a fan of scary movies.

'We were watching a horror movie, and I was always interested in sculpting lifelike cakes, especially in the face, so I thought, "How neat would it be if I did our severed heads?’" Mrs Sideserf said.

death-do-us-part.jpg

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November 18, 2013

Because we said so, that's why

World-famous Swedish ice hotel is ordered to install smoke alarms

A world-famous hotel in Sweden has been ordered to install fire alarms despite being constructed entirely of ice.

ICEHOTEL, which is located in the north Swedish town of Jukkasjarvi, is rebuilt every winter after it melts in the spring. It is constructed purely from ice including all furniture and appliances.

Despite this the owners of the hotel were told they could not continue construction of the building until at least one detector was installed on the premises. [...]

Bizarrely soon after the alarm was installed it was triggered, reportedly by a guest smoking in a cleaning closet.

Via Overlawyered

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November 15, 2013

I'll drink to that (2)

Beer as good as therapy for some: health boss

One of Germany's most powerful healthcare officials has made waves by saying that some psychological problems could be treated as well with a beer as with therapy.

Josef Hecken is chairman of the Federal Joint Committee (GBA), the body which decides what treatments are offered by the statutory health system.

Generally GBA meetings are dry, specialist affairs, where representatives from doctors' associations, statutory health insurers and hospitals discuss what treatments are effective for patients and value for money.

But eyebrows were raised when Hecken recently declared that not "every second" person needed psychotherapy - and that a beer would sometimes do the job. The Tagesspiegel newspaper reported that the comment was recorded in official notes of the meeting.

Hecken made the remark during a debate over calls for more psychotherapists to be included in statutory healthcare provision.

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November 13, 2013

TGFB (22)

Seattle Food Company Releases Bacon-Scented Deodorant

America loves bacon, that is indisputable, but now a Seattle-based firm has taken that affection to pungent new levels.

J&D's Foods, a specialty foods company, has announced its latest product — a gel deodorant that smells like bacon. They call it "Power Bacon," and it goes on sale today.

On its website, the company recommends the product for active bacon lovers or those who "just sweat like pigs."

"It's not really a deodorant, it's an odorant," J&D's owner Justin Esch told ABC News. "It's a strong meat-scented musk that comes off your body."

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November 12, 2013

Times are tough all over

I had no idea that French schools were only used four days a week.

French fight making Wednesday a school day

f you think Wednesday's child is full of woe, as the old nursery rhyme has it, try Wednesday's parents.

Parents like Eric and Isabelle Nizard, who are angry over a sinister social experiment being conducted on their 9-year-old son, Sacha. It's the latest innovation in French public education: Their child must now attend school on Wednesdays.

Beginning in September, hump day is no longer an official day off, a traditional oasis in the middle of the week for primary school students to rest from the rigors of academic pursuit. Instead, French children — who, like their parents, already enjoy longer lunch breaks and summer vacations than their counterparts in many other countries — have to show up for class Monday through Friday.

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November 11, 2013

Gee thanks, Mom

Alleged burglar left phone at victim's house, deputies speak to mom

LAKE WORTH, Fla., Nov. 6 (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a burglary suspect was identified when he allegedly left his cellphone at the scene and his mom called while police were investigating.

The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said deputies were at the scene of a burglary Thursday in Lake Worth when a phone apparently left behind by the burglar began ringing and the phone's screen identified the caller as "Mom," the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Wednesday.

A deputy answered the phone and the woman gave her son's name as Derek Codd, 19.

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November 09, 2013

A sobering experience, I'm sure

Reveller wakes up in morgue body bag after big night out

A drunk had a sobering experience after he was sent to a morgue by paramedics who thought he was dead.

Marek Michalski, 56, was found passed out on a bench without a pulse in Piotrkow, Poland, before concerned members of the public called an ambulance.

Hours later he awoke in a body bag and screamed for help. He managed to roll the bag off the table before escaping.

'I remember sitting on a bench and the next thing I woke up in a morgue,' he told local media.

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November 07, 2013

Mannequin Design For Dummies

The picture at the link is pretty amusing.

Curvy mannequins shape a Venezuelan fantasy

VALENCIA, Venezuela — Frustrated with the modest sales at his small mannequin factory, Eliezer Álvarez made a simple observation: Venezuelan women were increasingly using plastic surgery to transform their bodies, yet the mannequins in clothing stores did not reflect these new, often extreme proportions.

So he went back to his workshop and created the kind of woman he thought the public wanted — one with a bulging bosom and cantilevered buttocks, a wasp waist and long legs, a fiberglass fantasy, Venezuelan style.

The shape was augmented, and so were sales. Now his mannequins, and others like them, have become the standard in stores across Venezuela [...]

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November 06, 2013

Giant mirrors

I think this has been done somewhere else in Europe also.

Giant mirrors bring winter sunlight to Norwegian village nestled in the mountains

OSLO (AFP) -- Residents of a remote village nestled in a steep-sided valley in southern Norway are about to enjoy winter sunlight for the first time ever, all thanks to giant mirrors.

The mountains that surround the village of Rjukan are far from Himalayan, but they are high enough to deprive its 3,500 inhabitants of direct sunlight for six months a year.

That was before a century-old idea, as old as Rjukan itself, was brought to life: to install mirrors on a 400-metre high peak to deflect sunrays towards the central square.

"The idea was a little crazy, but madness is our middle name," said Oeystein Haugan, a local project coordinator.

"When Rjukan was founded, it was a bit crazy to start a community in the middle of nowhere with this massive hydroelectric plant, huge pipes and a railway line to transport fertiliser to the rest of the world," he added.

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November 05, 2013

Gashouse Gang is back

This happened during the World Series last week,

Gas levels traced to photographers, naturally

The sight of St. Louis Fire Chief Dennis Jenkerson standing vigilant behind home plate begged the question: Is there a problem?

"Some years ago, we installed chemical and gas detectors around the stadium," Jenkerson said. "Well, some readings earlier showed that we were getting higher-than normal levels of methane."

"We figured out they were coming specifically from the photographer's pit" along the third base line," he said.

"So we walked down there and asked the guys 'How many of you were at White Castle or Courtesy diner last night?'"

Really?

"Yeah" the chief said. "It happens."


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October 31, 2013

Another one who deserves a trick or two

The Flaming Bag trick sounds like a good idea.

Teen Shot While Toilet Papering Principal's House

FRANKLIN COUNTY, Tenn. – An Estill Springs man is out on $125,00 bond after police say he fired a shotgun at teens who were toilet papering their principal's yard. 65-year-old Dale Bryant Farris is accused of firing at least two shots, striking a 15-year-old boy in the right foot, inner left knee, right palm, right thigh and right side of his torso above the waistline.

Franklin County Sheriff's Office spokesman Sgt. Chris Guess said the boy "got peppered pretty good." With regards to the suspect, Guess had this to say: "The problem is they were not on his property and they were not doing anything to his property. Some kids got out at a residence over there to roll it with toilet paper and this gentleman came out of his residence a couple of houses over and shot one of the teenagers who was rolling this other guy's yard."

According to Guess, the "other guy" was Huntland School Principal Ken Bishop, who does not plan to file charges against the teens.

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October 30, 2013

Sounds like she deserves a trick or two

Woman to give 'obese' children letters, no candy

A Fargo, N.D., woman says she will give trick-or-treaters that she deems "moderately obese" a letter instead of candy this Halloween.

"I just want to send a message to the parents of kids that are really overweight. ... I think it's just really irresponsible of parents to send them out looking for free candy just 'cause all the other kids are doing it," the woman said in a morning radio interview with Y94. She wouldn't identify herself.

The letter states: "You child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season."

It continues: "My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits."

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October 24, 2013

You've seen one, you've seen 'em all

Granddad picks up wrong kid from school

An elementary school in Britain has apologized after handing over the wrong girl to a short-sighted grandfather for a trip to the doctor.

The 6-year-old girl shares the same first name as the man's granddaughter and is in the same grade, according to The Guardian.

She took the bus with the 74-year-old man to a doctor's office in Kent, where she was prescribed Acetaminophen, before being dropped back off at class.

The girl's parents only heard about the incident when she came home and showed the medicine to her mother.

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October 23, 2013

Pint-sized beer glasses

Bill would require each beer pint have 16 ounces

Some Michigan lawmakers are working to make sure a pint of beer is really a pint of beer.

A bill introduced last week would amend the Liquor Control Act to require each pint of beer have at least 16 ounces. It would make it an offense to "advertise or sell any glass of beer as a pint in this state unless that glass contains at least 16 ounces of beer."

Rep. Brandon Dillon, R-Grand Rapids and a co-sponsor of the bill, said short pints aren't the most pressing issue facing Michigan or its Legislature. But, he said, "a lot of people, I think, would appreciate knowing what they get when they order a pint."

Self-employed plumber Gary Lord of Lansing is among them.

Lord said he has been in a few taverns where the pint glasses didn't appear to hold what they advertised.

"A pint should be a pint, and a U.S. pint to the best of my knowledge has 16 ounces," Lord told the Detroit Free Press at a Lansing bar on Friday.

Some pint-style beer glasses with thicker bottoms hold as little as 12 to 14 ounces.

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October 22, 2013

She must be Russian

A pint of vodka at age 55?!

Billings woman charged with DUI No. 4

A Billings woman accused of calling police and saying she was "just too damn drunk" to get out of her vehicle was charged Wednesday with her fourth drunken-driving offense. [...]

Omeara was arrested Tuesday at about 10:40 p.m. after a police dispatcher received a call from a woman who said she could not get out of her vehicle, which was parked outside her residence on South 29th Street.

"When asked if she was having a medical or mechanical issue, the caller said, `No, I'm just too damn drunk,'" court records state.

An officer said he found Omeara inside the vehicle, which was parked about two feet from the curb. The woman reportedly told the officer she had been at a Billings bar for about five hours, had driven home but had been sitting in her car in front of her home for about four hours.

Prosecutors said Omeara told the officer she had consumed a pint of vodka.

Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

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October 21, 2013

The more things change...

...the more they stay insane.

Q&A: The Women Who Write Dinosaur Erotica

Alara Branwen and Christie Sims met in the dorms at Texas A&M. Alara worked at a supermarket and Christie worked as a tutor — until they discovered how lucrative erotic fiction about women having sex with dinosaurs could be. After e-book titles like Taken By the T-Rex and Ravished by the Triceratops drew attention from Jezebel, E!, and the Daily Mail, we e-mailed the duo to ask how they're holding up, and how two Texan girls in their early twenties got into dinosaur porn.

With Alara at the keyboard ("Christie made me do it because she is too lazy"), the college students explained. [...]

Are Alara Branwen and Christie Sims your real names?

No, those are just our pen names. Do you honestly think we would publish the crazy stuff we write under our own names?

F'real: here are their two Author Pages at Amazon.com.

Via Clayton Cramer

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October 18, 2013

Nyan Nouveau

Japanese company unveils "Nyan Nyan Nouveau" red wine for cats

Cats have been working on us humans for years now, using the internet to their advantage and doing whatever it takes to look adorable. And now it seems they've taken a significant step towards their ultimate goal of world domination: a Japanese company has manufactured wine especially for felines.

Earlier today, pet food and supplement maker B&H Lifes launched its newest product, Nyan Nyan Nouveau ("meow Nouveau"), announcing the good news via press release.

Via Nothing To Do With Arbroath

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October 17, 2013

When you gotta go...

And with a passenger, no less.

There's speeding, and then there's this Illinois motorcycle driver

PEKIN, Ill. • A motorcyclist who authorities say was driving his bike at speeds that reached 140 mph told central Illinois police he was rushing because he needed to use the bathroom.

The Pekin Daily Times reports Adam Lester was arrested Tuesday night after a Pekin officer clocked him going more than two-and-a-half times the speed limit over a Tazewell County bridge.

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October 16, 2013

Who knew?

There's midget pron?

Dwarf porn bandits nabbed

A MAN has been indicted for a mobile home burglary that netted him an assortment of midget pornography DVDs. [...]

Investigators allege that Sergio Seanez, 18, and a teenage boy broke into the Chaparral residence last month and swiped electronics, kitchen appliances, and furniture. Seanez then allegedly set fire to the home.

In addition to the normal haul associated with a burglary, Seanez and his 17-year-old accomplice also made off with "multiple DVD's relating to Midget Pornography," according to a criminal complaint, The Smoking Gun reports.

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October 14, 2013

Good news for Mr. Blagojevich

Governor Bars State From Asking Job Applicants About Felony Records

(CBS) — Illinoisans with a felony on their records will no longer be asked about their criminal past when they apply for state jobs.

Promoting the decision to what he calls “Ban the Box,” State Rep. LaShawn K. Ford (D-Chicago) says the governor’s administrative order doesn’t mean private employers will be required to hire ex-cons. It simply means applications for state government jobs will no longer include a box indicating whether an applicant has pled guilty, or been convicted of a criminal offense, other than a minor traffic violation.

State agencies would still be allowed to conduct background checks, and request information on criminal convictions, but not until later in the process.

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October 10, 2013

Incredibly bizarre

The snippet below doesn't do justice to this article from The Daily Cricket. You really need to read the whole thing because it gets more bizarre as it goes on. (I believe the towns of Canton and Foxboro are the ones in Massachusetts.)

Police Stop Leads To Bizarre Arrest

Three people remain in custody after being arrested on Saturday morning following a traffic stop in Canton. In what was described by Lt. Paul Sullivan as "the most bizarre traffic stop" that he has seen in his 23 years on the force, Canton police responded to a report of a disabled vehicle traveling on Route 95. They came across the vehicle shortly after 2 a.m. traveling in the high-speed lane on the southbound side.

"We spotted the green Hyundai Elantra traveling at approximately five miles-per-hour in the passing lane with a huge shower of sparks coming from the rear of the vehicle. As we got closer we noticed that the rear end of the vehicle was dragging on the ground due to the fact that there were no rear tires or axle on the vehicle," said Lt. Sullivan of the Canton Police. "After the vehicle pulled over, we approached it and found that the driver was not only drinking a can of beer, but that he was not wearing any pants and that he had urinated on himself."

After not one, but two, brief foot chases, Francis Fasher, 45, of Foxboro, was placed under arrest.

H.T. Ms. M

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October 09, 2013

Forced at gun point

Man accused of faking kidnapping to party with friends

All Rogelio Andaverde wanted was to get out of the house and have a few beers with his buddies.

So Tuesday afternoon, the 34-year-old Edinburg man created an excuse to sneak away: He staged his own kidnapping.

According to a release from the Hildalgo County Sheriff's Office, Andaverde was with his wife, Maria Hernandez, in their home off F.M. 2812 in rural Northeast Edinburg when about 10:30 p.m. two men wearing masks and toting guns forced their way inside — and made off with Andaverde.

Sheriff Guadalupe Trevino said Hernandez called authorities right away, "petrified" after seeing what she thought was her husband's abduction. [...]

Mid-morning on Thursday, Andaverde returned home, telling his wife he'd been released.

A follow-up investigation revealed he had staged the kidnapping to "spend time with his friends and party."

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October 04, 2013

It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...

Attempt to fly phone into prison on pigeon fails

A woman's attempt to fly a mobile phone into a prison on the back of a pigeon failed when the exhausted bird collapsed just after clearing the jail walls.

Cristielli Mansa, 21, had attempted to send the device to her boyfriend, Wagner Machado Rodrigues, 19, who had been arrested for drug trafficking.

Unfortunately for the pair, the pigeon cleared the three-metre high wall of the Central Prison in Porto Alegre, Brazil, but then fell right in front of a patrolling prison officer's verhicle.

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October 03, 2013

64 pages?

Chinese tourists warned not to pick noses or urinate in public

As an increasing number of Chinese people travel abroad, the Chinese authorities have issued instructions how to be "civilized" tourists, with an illustrated list of dos and don'ts to ensure tourists don't give the country a bad name.

China's National Tourism Administration have publicized a 64-page guidebook on their website, entitled "Guidebook for Civilized Tourism," advising Chinese nationals not to pick their noses in public, urinate in pools or steal airplane life jackets, according to a report by news agency AFP on Wednesday.

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October 02, 2013

Step away from the dryer!

Man Arrested For "Laundry Rage" Attack On Retiree

SEPTEMBER 26--In a violent episode of laundry rage, a Florida man twice shoved a 75-year-old victim to the ground and stomped on him after the senior citizen had the temerity to try and put his clothes in a dryer that the attacker claimed was his, police allege.

The confrontation earlier this month at the Super Matt Laundry in Fort Myers resulted in last night's arrest of Kenneth Wood, 55, for felony battery on a person 65 years or older. Wood, seen in the adjacent mug shot, is locked up in lieu of $150,500 bond.

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October 01, 2013

So to speak...

Businessman's hands full with bra bid

West Cork businessman Sean Murray, whose Skibbereen shop houses the region's largest lingerie department, has issued an appeal for at least 70 women — or men — to flock to his store on Saturday, Oct 26, to let him pop open their bras in a record-breaking bid for a cancer charity.

He will have to display deft fingerwork using just one hand to unclasp more than 69 bras in 60 seconds if he is to break Dutch-man Dennis Storm's 2012 record.

He is practising on mannequins to ensure he will be at his breast on the day. "Now that word is out about this, the pressure is on to break the record, which will be tough but I am ready to give it a go," Mr Murray said.


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September 30, 2013

There are marshmallow-launching devices?

San Diego nixes annual marshmallow fight

SAN DIEGO, Sept. 26 (UPI) -- City officials in San Diego said the annual July 4 marshmallow fight will no longer be allowed in the Ocean Beach neighborhood.

The neighborhood's town council passed a resolution Wednesday requesting San Diego police prevent the annual event by enforcing laws against littering and use of harmful objects, KSWB-TV, San Diego, reported Thursday.

Officials are also asking local businesses not to promote the event by selling marshmallows, marshmallow-launching devices and paraphernalia.

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September 27, 2013

And what a day the patient had

Florida man steals ambulance with patient still inside

PHILADELPHIA (CBS) - A suspect from Florida is facing kidnapping charges in Philadelphia after police say he carjacked an ambulance at gunpoint with a patient inside.

"It was pretty scary. He was weaving in and out of traffic, on a blowout tire riding on that rim. I thought he was going to flip over," eyewitness Brian Perkins said.

The incident started on the Schuylkill Expressway just before 3 p.m. Friday afternoon.

Pennsylvania State Police say 25-year-old Brian Timothy Kada Jr., of Philadelphia, walked onto the westbound side of the expressway near Girard Avenue while the ambulance was transporting a patient. Police say Kada pointed a gun at the two operators stuck in rush hour traffic and jumped into the passenger side.

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September 25, 2013

Like socks on a rooster

Diapers For Chickens -- No Kidding!

The economy has created a surge in the number of people engaged in urban farming. This has led to an increase in the number of people keeping chickens to lay eggs. Many of these chickens have made their way into the hearts of their owners -- and from there into the house. This has, in turn, led to the creation that would have shocked our farming forebears -- the chicken diaper.

It is one of those items that you never thought you would ever hear of, but for people who love their chickens it is a godsend. That's not all! You can also buy a chicken saddle. Wait! What? Yes indeed. While the diapers are to protect your home from the chickens, the saddle is to protect the hen from the roosters.

Video of a chicken being fitted with a diaper.

Via The Presurfer

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September 24, 2013

The knickers cop

Cops: Professor Filmed Student "Upskirt" Videos

SEPTEMBER 23--A college professor who used a camera pen to secretly film under the clothing of two students explained to police that he was attempting to gather evidence that one of the women "was not wearing undergarments," which he thought was "inappropriate," according to a police report.

That explanation, however, did not keep cops from arresting Don Samuelson, 65, on a pair of felony video voyeurism counts. Samuelson, who teaches at the University of Florida's College of Veterinary Medicine, allegedly victimized the two students on four separate occasions this year.

One of the victims "became aware of the videotaping" as it occurred about three weeks ago, noted investigators in a University of Florida Police Department report. During a subsequent search of Samuelson's office earlier this month, cops recovered the camera pen, which had an integrated USB thumb drive.

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September 23, 2013

Busted! (11)

I'm sure she'd have been happier without the editorial comment.

Officials: Miss Uzbekistan a fraud

TASHKENT, Uzbekistan, Sept. 19 (UPI) -- The Uzbekistani government says the Miss World contestant competing as Miss Uzbekistan is nothing but a beautiful liar.

Officials with the Uzbek Culture and Sports Ministry and the national committee on women told Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty that Rakhima Ganieva, 18, who is entered to compete in this month's Miss World competition in Indonesia, was not dubbed Miss Uzbekistan in a July 20 competition as she claims in a video, ABC News reported Thursday.

A representative of the Pro Models modeling agency, which once represented Ganieva, accused her of "choosing to build a career on lies."

"Rakhima Ganieva never passed through any special selection process in Uzbekistan," said Zhavlon Komolov of Pro Models. "If there had been a process to choose a young lady for this competition, I can assure you that a much more beautiful model would have been chosen."

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September 20, 2013

Oops (25)

Offensive phrases on bottle caps prompt Coca-Cola to cancel Canadian promotion

Coca-Cola has cancelled a Canadian promotion that paired randomly generated English and French words inside bottle caps after an Edmonton woman got one that said "You Retard."

Blake Loates said she and her husband were eating at a restaurant in Edmonton earlier this week when her husband read the cap off his bottle of Vitaminwater.

“Both my husband and I were pretty shocked. We couldn’t actually believe what we were seeing,” Loates said. “We thought maybe it was a joke or that maybe a rogue employee got a hold of the lid machine and wrote it.”

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September 19, 2013

But it's the thought that counts

Teacher's aide gave principal marijuana as gift

PROVIDENCE, R.I. (WPRI) – A teacher's assistant in Providence is facing criminal charges after he allegedly gave a bag of marijuana to a middle school principal as a present last Thursday afternoon.

Christopher Sheehan, 57, was arrested at an Everett Avenue home Friday and charged with unlawful delivery of marijuana in a school zone, according to a police report obtained by WPRI.com.

Police say Sheehan, who works with special education students at Nathanael Greene Middle School on Chalkstone Avenue, handed the school's principal an envelope, calling it a "gift" for winning the city's principal of the year award.

When the principal opened the envelope, she saw a sandwich bag with two smaller bags that contained the marijuana. The principal immediately contacted the police and her supervisor, according to the police report.

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September 18, 2013

What a guy

Another tongue-in-cheek obituary.

William McCullough

William Freddie McCullough - BLOOMINGDALE - The man. The myth. The legend. Men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him. William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013. Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reeses Cups and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order. He hated vegetables and hypocrites. Not necessarily in that order. [...]

He attracted more women than a shoe sale at Macy's.

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September 17, 2013

Nice work if you can get it (11)

Nasa recruits couch potatoes for microgravity study

Nasa is currently recruiting a number of willing volunteers to spend 70 days doing very little at its Houston headquarters.

The couch potatoes will get paid around £3,000 a month as part of the US space agency's research into the effects of microgravity on the human body.

'Of all the potential challenges crew members encounter in the space environment, microgravity has proven to be one of the most difficult to mimic in an experimental setting,' explains Nasa.gov. [...]

Successful candidates will stay in a tilted bed 24 hours a day as part of the 70-day project, where they can play computer games, surf the internet or watch TV

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September 16, 2013

Low budget political ad

Video at the link

Bizarre mayoral campaign ad in wet underpants

A MAYORAL candidate has posted a bizarre campaign video in which he emerges from a lake in clingy wet underpants and pledges not to frequent strip clubs.

Jeffrey Wagner, who is running for mayor of the US city of Minneapolis, also tells voters to "wake the f*** up" in the advertisement which has receive 211,000 views on YouTube and widespread publicity across America.

Wagner walks out of the water carrying a coffee cup and clad only in a pair of soaked underpants to where a woman waits on the shore. [...]

Wagner is known for crude jokes on his Facebook page.

He is up against more than 30 candidates running for the mayoral election on November 5.

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September 14, 2013

A little hair of the cat

Man tries to return cat he stole drunk

A Californian man who says he accidentally stole a cat while drunk posted an ad on Craigslist hoping to find its owners.

The cat-napper says in the ad that he thought the cat, Django, was a stray, but then noticed the next morning he had a collar.

The ad says: "If anyone is missing a cat name Django (pronounced Jango the D is silent) I stole him last night.

"Not on purpose, I was extremely intoxicated and thought he was just some random stray I was rescuing."

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September 13, 2013

Eat Me

It's one of their tag lines.

How a Food-Delivery Company Found Love by Advertising on Adult Websites

Here's your curious advertising case study of the day. Food-delivery app Eat24 has written a lengthy blog post detailing, from start to finish, why and how it went "where no marketing team has gone before. Well, at least not without clearing their browser history afterward."

Eat24, which apparently had something of a following among porn stars already, decided to advertise on adult websites. Its rationale? Almost no mainstream brands want anything to do with the XXX world. And yet the traffic figures are through the roof, and the CPMs are low. What's not to like?

Below are a few excerpts from the case study. Here's the whole thing. Via @hollybrocks.

The idea:

"If you ever take two seconds out of your naughty time to glance at the ads on porn sites, you'll notice that 99% of them are for more porn. It's a world where no one besides male enhancement pills and adult friend finders have dared to go. Not a single mainstream brand advertising there. We could be that 1%."

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September 12, 2013

What a sight to see

Picture at the link, if you're interested

Artist held after Eiffel Tower coq stunt

Millions of wide-eyed tourists visit the Eiffel Tower every year, but on Tuesday morning a handful of them were treated, depending on your viewpoint, to a highly unusual spectacle.

At around 9.30 am, South African artist Steven Cohen emerged from a car and joined the crowds at Place du Trocadero, under the shadow of the world-famous monument, for a spot of breakfast-time performance art. [...]

Dressed in a bird outfit, and shuffling over to a prominent spot on the public square, Cohen began dancing about, with no less than a cock tied to his penis with a long ribbon.

In high-heeled platform shoes and wearing a corset, thigh-length tights, and long red gloves, and with long, wild feathers emanating from his head and hands, Cohen began “walking” the chicken up and down before crowds of tourists. [...]

Perhaps inevitably, Cohen was held by Paris police on charges of indecent exposure, before being released later in the day.

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September 11, 2013

Fat's where it's at (6)

Huge 'fatberg' grows to the size of THREE blue whales as yet more grease is added to the 15-ton blockage in London's sewers

Like a scene out of Ghostbusters, the sickening images of the oozing, putrid grease blocking London's sewers made even those with the strongest stomachs queasy.

The stinking mass of lard, and much worse, highlighted Britain's love of cooking oil - and how we think nothing of throwing it down our sinks.

Now the double-decker sized blockage is getting worse, after experts discovered three tonnes had been added to the mass since its discovery last month.

This reminds me of the Original Talking Blues.

If you want to get to heaven,
Let me tell you how to do it:
Grease your feet in a little mutton suet,
Slide out of the devil's hand,
Ooze into the Promised Land,
Take it easy. Go greasy.

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September 10, 2013

I've always heard that rugby players are tough

Man left with a HAMMER in his head following horror nightclub attack

Matthew Probert, 21, was left with a HAMMER in his head outside a Lincoln nightclub in the early hours of Sunday morning.

The Scunthorpe rugby star was snapped slumped against a wall with the claw of the tool embedded in his skull.

He had been on a night out with pals, before he was attacked at about 12.50am. [...]

Probert, a loose-head prop, was rushed to a specialist brain unit at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield.

Surgeons spent an hour removing the hammer from his forehead and he has since been described as being in a stable condition.

Lincolnshire Police later confirmed a 21-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of attempted murder.

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September 09, 2013

A sign that the Apocolypse is near

Fruit-flavored beer?

Hello Kitty beer now sold in China

The world's favorite mouthless, red ribbon-wearing kitten has reached legal drinking age. Hello Kitty, the iconic cartoon cat designed by Japanese company Sanrio, is now selling beer in China.

The adorable kitten, known for gracing snack cakes and children's wardrobes, now has its own fruit-flavored beer, which is sold exclusively in China.

The Hello Kitty brew, licensed by the Shanghai KT trading company and made by Taiwanese beer maker Long Chuan, comes in at least six tropical flavors, from passion fruit to banana.

While the beers are only 2.3 percent alcohol by volume, they are so sweet that it is easy to consume too many.

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September 06, 2013

How to make a lasting first impression

First date ends with police chase

A first date ended in a dramatic police chase when a man snatched a woman's phone as compensation after she refused to go Dutch on drinks.

Southwark crown court heard that Kishore Nimmala, 32, spent a total of £54 on two rounds and was furious when Fakhara Sultana told him she thought men should pay on a first date.

The Daily Mail reportys that Nimmala then continued to follow her and pester her for money as the first date which was arranged online went sour.

When she tried to make a call on her BlackBerry, he snatched it and ran off.

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September 04, 2013

Markets in everything (21)

Women selling fake positive pregnancy tests, 'no questions asked'

Women around the country are selling used positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist, according to reports that began popping up last week.

One mother in Buffalo, NY advertised used tests for $25 each, according to MailOnline.

Some of the sellers offer ways to get creative with your second-hand purchase.

"Wanna get your boyfriend to finally pop the question? Play a trick on mom, dad or one of your friends," writes one seller in New Jersey.

Others have taken the "no questions asked approach." One listing in Manhattan reads, "I'm pregnant and will sell you my positive pregnancy test for $20. I don't care what you need them for."

And apparently there's a market. Other listings want to buy the used tests, or in some cases offer to just buy a pregnant woman's urine. Motives range from revenge to educational purposes.

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September 03, 2013

Badger??

Not just Rocky Mountain oysters any longer, it seems.

Balls to that!

Hold onto your shorts! The World Testicle Cooking Championship takes place this weekend in Serbia.

The unusual cook-off, first held in 2004, has seen chefs go at 17 different kinds of testicle over the years, among them bull, ram, donkey, bear, reindeer, wild boar, kangaroo, stallion, goat, turkey and badger.

Creator and organizer Ljubomir Erovic has since put together recipes in The Testicle Cookbook.

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August 28, 2013

Not a complete loss

Randy couple caught having sex on Danish soccer pitch after 0-0 draw

WELL, at least somebody scored.

The hunt is on for a couple of amorous Danish fans who were pictured having sex on the soccer pitch where their team had just played out a tedious 0-0 draw.

A photograph of the daring pair, who remain unidentified, has taken off online.

The two fans were spotted under floodlights in the pitch's centre circle by security staff at Broendby's Copenhagen ground, following a scoreless match against rival Randers on Sunday. Subsequently, a picture of the fans was posted on Twitter.

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August 27, 2013

Ka-boom! (2)

I can just imagine how thrilled his landlord is.

Man blows up house inflating air mattress

A German man caused €150,000 of damage to his rented house after trying to repair an inflatable mattress. Being new in town, he had no furniture – and now he has no windows or doors.

The 41-year-old, who has not been named, had moved to the town of Diepholz in Lower Saxony and bought the self-inflatable air mattress as he had no furniture in his new home, Bild newspaper reported.

But the mattress was leaky, so he used an industrial strength puncture repair spray to try and fix it. This reacted with the inbuilt electric pump, causing a violent explosion which threw him across the room, ripped doors off their hinges and smashed windows.

Experts believe that heat from the electric motor ignited the gas in the tyre sealant.

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August 26, 2013

Wanted: asbestos diapers

Doctors confounded with India baby's burst into flames — three times

Doctors are confounded, but parents of a baby boy in India insist: The tyke has burst into flames for no apparent reason at least three times since birth.

The baby — cited in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution only by the name of Rahul — was born in May, and parents said that they first noticed flames suddenly appearing on his stomach and knees when he was just nine days old. And since, it's happened a handful of other time.

"The case has baffled experts in India, with doctors suggesting the cause of [the baby] Rahul's mystery burns could be due to combustible gases emitting from his pores," his parents said, in the report. [...]

Rahul is currently undergoing tests, AJC reported.


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August 21, 2013

Write your own ticket

Guy does to bank what banks usually do to other people

The idea of beating the banks at their own game may seem like a rich joke, but Dmitry Agarkov, a 42-year-old Russian man, may have managed it. Unhappy with the terms of an unsolicited credit card offer he received from online bank Tinkoff Credit Systems, Agarkov scanned the document, wrote in his own terms and sent it through. The bank approved the contract without reading the amended fine print, unwittingly agreeing to a 0 percent interest rate, unlimited credit and no fees, as well as a stipulation that the bank pay steep fines for changing or canceling the contract.

[...] Now Agarkov is suing the bank for $727,000 for not honoring the contract's terms, and the bank is hollering fraud. "They signed the documents without looking. They said what usually their borrowers say in court: 'We have not read it,'" Agarkov's lawyer said. The shoe's on the other foot now, eh? [Source]

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August 20, 2013

Gee, who could've predicted this?

20 injured at LG phone giveaway as PR stunt turns into freetard riot

LG has cancelled a series of publicity stunts promoting its new G2 smartphone after 20 Korean consumers were hurt as they attempted to get a free handset.

The PR boffins at LG decided it would be a good idea to release 100 helium-filled balloons, each carrying a voucher entitling the recipient to claim their 950,000 won ($852.54) smartphone. It then took to social media to promote the event, inviting people to witness the balloons' release and encouraging them to grab one of the vouchers.

But what must have sounded like a good idea in the marketing meeting quickly dissolved into chaos. People aren't stupid. They figured out that the only way to get the voucher was to burst the balloons, and they showed up equipped to do so with BB guns, knives on sticks, and other tools.

When the balloons were released, the crowd surged for them, and some participants fired BB guns into the air to try and pop their targets. Korea Times reports that in the ensuing scrum, 20 people were injured.

H.T. Bill F

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August 15, 2013

McRobot

Robot Serves Up 360 Hamburgers Per Hour

No longer will they say, "He's going to end up flipping burgers." Because now, robots are taking even these ignobly esteemed jobs. Alpha machine from Momentum Machines cooks up a tasty burger with all the fixins. And it does it with such quality and efficiency it'll produce "gourmet quality burgers at fast food prices."

With a conveyor belt-type system the burgers are freshly ground, shaped and grilled to the customer's liking. And only when the burger's finished cooking does Alpha slice the tomatoes and pickles and place them on the burger as fresh as can be. Finally, the machine wraps the burger up for serving.

And while you fret over how many people you invited to the barbecue, Alpha churns out a painless 360 hamburgers per hour.

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August 14, 2013

The most popular name in Cincinnati

Million-Dollar Mix-Up Makes Winners Out of Two Men Named Kevin Lewis

A Cincinnati casino is paying up -- twice -- after it committed a million-dollar mix-up that put prize winnings in the hands of the wrong man.

Horseshoe Casino Cincinnati awarded $1 million each to two different Cincinnati natives named Kevin Lewis after it mistakenly allowed the wrong man to collect the winnings from a promotional contest it held on Saturday night, casino spokeswoman Jennifer Kulczycki told ABCNews.com. [...]

The casino, which is in the midst of a $3 Million Summer Giveaway promotion, called out for Kevin Lewis to come down and collect his prize after he was selected as the winner of the August drawing at around 9 p.m. Saturday.

"A gentleman whose named they called, Kevin Lewis, was in the crowd, came forward and was given his jumbo check," Kulczycki said. "Then as the local leadership team moved on to do the secondary verification process, the team realized it had made a blunder."

While Kulczycki declined to provide specifics on the two-step verification process the contest employs, she said it turned out there was a second Kevin Lewis from Cincinnati, roughly around the same age, who had actually won Saturday's $1 million drawing. But he was not in the casino when his name was called.

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August 13, 2013

Well, Earl Scruggs he's not

From Orange County, California

Crime: Neighbor Complains About Steve Martin’s Musical Stylings

A rundown of calls that came into the O.C. Sheriff's Department May 31-June 1 in Laguna Niguel:

A caller reported that his neighbor was screaming in his backyard about how Steve Martin can't play the banjo. The incident occurred at 12:59 a.m. in the 28800 block of Placida Avenue.

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August 12, 2013

Lost her at the third enema

Enemas and sex act shock audience at Winnipeg Fringe show

A controversial Fringe Festival performance featuring two naked actors engaging in mayonnaise enemas and a sexual act on stage left some audience members in shock while others walked out of the theatre Friday night.

The show, called Hollywood Hen Pit, stars Doug Melnyk and Ian Mozdzen, who are known for their edgy performances, having raised eyebrows in 2011 with their Fringe play Monopoly Man Pit.

This year's performance is about the life of an aging Hollywood starlet, as performed by two nude men.

"What I saw were not one, not two, but three mayonnaise enemas," said Fringe Festival reviewer Michelle Palansky, who was in the audience Friday night.

"By the third time… I was like, you know, this is gratuitous. I do not need to see any more mayonnaise enemas for the rest of my lifetime."

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August 10, 2013

Moderation in all things

Hempfest organizer: Giant joint a no-go

Hempfest organizers don't support a marijuana company's plans to build the world's largest joint at the annual pot reform festival.

Speaking Wednesday, Hempfest organizer Vivian McPeak said building a giant joint would jeopardize the Seattle event, which has a standing policy of not allowing marijuana sales. [...]

"The last thing we like doing in the word is enforce pot laws," McPeak said. "But we can't encourage people to bring any amount of pot that they want to Hempfest."

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August 09, 2013

Yee-ow!

Man has SIX-INCH worm removed from his brain

Wang Ming, 60, from Chengdu, China, visited his doctor after he had suffered fainting fits and painful migraines for more than six months.

When they X-rayed him, medics spotted a parasite the length of a biro lurking under his skull.

Surgeons performed a three-hour operation on Ming at the First People's Hospital in Shuangliu earlier this month.

When they removed the worm, they put it in a water container and were shocked to discover it carried on swimming.

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August 04, 2013

Don't try to rob a gun store with a baseball bat

In fact, I'm not sure there's any good choice of weapon for robbing a gun store.

Man Attempts To Rob Gun Store With Bat

HILLSBORO, Ore. (AP) — The Washington County sheriff's office says a man who attempted to rob a Beaverton gun store with a baseball bat and a knife was thwarted when the manager drew his own gun.

The sheriff's office says the suspect walked into Discount Gun Sales Thursday afternoon, smashed a display case with the bat and removed a handgun.

Moments later the manager armed himself and ordered the suspect to drop the gun, the bat and a knife he also was carrying.

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July 31, 2013

The secret is out

...all you need is an 'event widget'.

Pittsburgh man modifies his toaster to tweet 'toasting' and 'done'

PITTSBURGH, July 26 (UPI) -- A Pittsburgh says he's wired his toaster into Twitter so it to automatically sends him a tweet when it's toasting every morning.

Hans Scharler glued a switch to the outside of his toaster that detects when the slider is down and the toaster is on, or when it's up and finished toasting -- and connected in to the Internet to automatically tweet "Toasting" and "Done Toasting," boston.com reported Friday.

All he needed was a terminal board, a resistor and some alligator clips, Scharler said.

Scharler set up an event widget that monitors input from his contraption and sends alerts to his Twitter email address when the digital input from his toaster modification was high -- toasting -- and low -- done toasting.

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July 25, 2013

Or you can take the water with you

Picture at the link.

Police Discover Swimming Pool on Wheels

German police on Sunday pulled over four men driving a BMW convertible that had been converted into a motorized swimming pool. Despite their creativity, at least one could be facing charges for being drunk behind the wheel.

A BMW convertible first aroused the suspicions of a motorcycle cop on patrol in the eastern German town of Eibenstock when water sloshed out of it as it drove around a curve. When the officer pulled the car over, he could hardly believe his eyes.

In a police report released on Monday, he described encountering an "a convertible of a slightly different kind." The car had been converted into a swimming pool on wheels complete with a wooden railing and cheap floral decoration that could have come out of a chintzy Hawaiian hotel.

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July 24, 2013

Markets in everything (20)

Japanese women paid to put adverts on their THIGHS to catch the attention of men

An advertising agency has hit upon a unique way of catching the attention of people living in ad-saturated Tokyo - use women's thighs as a living billboard.

Consumers in the Japanese megalopolis are notoriously hard to reach because of the sheer abundance of billboards, neon signs and huge TV screens pumping out commercials, so the WIT agency decided to put ads on a place men are happy to pay attention to.

'It's an absolutely perfect place to put an advertisement as it's what guys are eager to look at and girls are OK to expose,' said Hidenori Atsumi, the CEO of WIT.

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July 23, 2013

Nice boyfriend, lady

Woman gets head stuck in banister during impromptu sex session

A lover having sex on a flight of stairs had to be rescued after getting her head stuck between some banister railings.

The 46-year-old, from Lipetsk in Russia, said she wanted to 'spice things up' with her boyfriend when the unfortunate accident happened.

A neighbour called police after finding the woman naked and on her knees in a stairwell, unable to free herself, Pronews48.ru reports.

She told police she had consensual sex with her partner, who had left the scene by the time officers and ambulance staff had arrived to assist her.

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July 22, 2013

Will it blend? You bet it will!

Oswego man gives blender some extra horsepower

SYRACUSE -- An Oswego couple turned heads at the Syracuse Nationals this week with an interesting take on a popular household appliance.

Russel Keene spent his winter developing a 380 horsepower blender powered by an old muscle car engine. The invention, which runs on gasoline and requires a key to start, can blend about five gallons in one minute. Keene says his blender has been put to good use during summer parties, but says it's really just a regular appliance.

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July 18, 2013

Busted! (10)

Thanks to the surveillance cam. Picture at the link.

Off-duty AZ cop accused of pointing gun at clerk

TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) — A Tucson, Ariz., police officer has been fired after authorities say he pulled a gun on a gas station attendant while off duty and apparently intoxicated.

The Pima County Sheriff's Department notified Tucson police that 23-year-old Kyle James McCartin was arrested early Tuesday on two counts of aggravated assault.

Deputies were called to a Giant Gas Station and learned two men who appeared very intoxicated entered the store wearing bulletproof vests.

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July 17, 2013

Use them for what, exactly?

Nearly 1 out of 10 Americans use smartphones during sex

Detailed within a study conducted by Harris Interactive, approximately nine percent of American adults admitted to using a smartphone while engaging in sexual intercourse with their partner. Of the 2000+ survey respondents, the largest percentage of adults that admitted this fact were split between Generation X and Millennial ages. Specifically, twenty percent of adults between the ages of 18 to 34 grabbed their smartphone during sex. Included within the 2013 Mobile Con­sumer Habits study, this survey was commissioned by Jumio; a company that offers payments and ID scanning solutions. [...]

Regarding places where Americans adults used their smartphones, approximately 12 percent of U.S. adults have used their smartphone while in the shower, 19 percent within a church or place of worship, 32 percent at a child's function taking place at school, 33 percent while on a dinner date, 35 percent while sitting in a movie theater and 55 percent while driving their automobile.

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July 16, 2013

They're back!

Minor Injuries As The Twinkie Makes A Comeback

Twinkie fever is back.

Hostess Brands LLC, the new owner of Twinkies, CupCakes and Zingers, officially brought back the iconic products on Monday. But some retailers, after agreeing not to start selling the products until midnight on Sunday, jumped the gun.

The fresh frenzy over the cream-filled confections left one Rhode Island woman with minor injuries last week, according to Hostess co-owner and Chief Executive C. Dean Metropoulos. As the woman was leaving a store with several boxes of Hostess goodies, she got jostled as other customers grabbed them from her, Mr. Metropoulos said in an interview after a kick-off event at a Schiller Park, Ill., Hostess bakery on Monday.

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July 11, 2013

WTF in Thailand

Pix at the link

Fried chicken takeaway called 'Hitler' opens in Thailand and comes complete with logo of Nazi leader in a bow tie

Schoolchildren dressing up as Nazis and a billboard advert showing Hitler were just the start.

Thailand's obsession with so-called 'Nazis chic' just won't go away - and now a fried chicken takeaway called Hitler - complete with a logo showing the Nazi leader in a bow tie - has opened its doors.

The bizarre restaurant opened last month in Thailand and images of it are doing the rounds on Twitter as shocked customers take photos of the offensive eatery.

The fascist dictator's head has been grafted onto the body of bow-tie wearing Colonel Sanders, the founder of KFC.

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July 09, 2013

Get a skillet

Stop Frying Eggs On The Road, Tourists Told

Tourists in America's Death Valley are being asked to stop frying eggs on the road.

Sweltering at the best of times and currently experiencing a heatwave over 50 degrees [122°F - Jdj], visitors to the area which straddles Nevada and California are leaving behind a mess of runny eggs, cartons and shells as they look for a photo opportunity.

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July 01, 2013

Imagine a life without bacon

Local woman swears off food, hasn't eaten in 5 weeks

SEATTLE -- There are a few things that we all know and accept about human beings, and one of them is that we all need food and water to survive.

But one local woman wants to challenge that fundamental concept of life.

Her name is Naveena Shine, and some of her ideas can best be described as being "out there." The 65-year-old England native who now lives in the Seattle area is aiming big with her goals.

"This will literally save the Earth," she said of her most recent experiment.

Shine claims she doesn't need food to survive, and she's out to prove it to the world.

"Well, the intention of what I'm doing is I want to provide evidence that it is possible, should it be possible, that human beings can live and thrive and do really well without having to eat solid food," she said.

To prove her point, she quit eating. She's now living on water and tea with a dab of milk. She claims she hasn't had a thing to eat since May 3rd. [...]

"There's got to be a point that's a shift over point, you either go into starvation and death or you go into finding the place within and without that creates living on light," Shine said.

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June 28, 2013

Put some hair on your chest

Fur coat made entirely from male chest hair

They say fur is murder, but this fur coat is a crime against fashion of another kind.

This limited edition coat is made entirely of male chest hair.

chest-hair-coat.jpg

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June 27, 2013

Bingo for biscuits

Biscuits -- what we call crackers or cookies (depending on whether they're savoury or sweet) here in the U.S.

'Bingo-for-biscuits' Brits fined in Portugal

Twenty-eight British and Irish expats and holiday-makers have been fined after police in Portugal caught them playing bingo for biscuits and drinks.

Landlady Marianne Pittaway, from North Yorkshire, was fined 700 euros (£595) for hosting the game at The Yorkshire Tavern in Albufeira, on Friday night.

Ms Pittaway, 34, also received a four-month suspended prison sentence.

She said she was "still in shock" and that the country's regulations were "wrong in a lot of aspects". [...]

The 28 appeared in court in Albufeira earlier to face charges of "exploitation of illegal gambling, illegal gambling and witnessing illegal gambling", according to the police.

Even some of the people in the bar who were not playing bingo were fined 150 euros (£125) and given a three-month suspended sentence for "witnessing illegal gambling".

Organisers of bingo in Portugal have to apply for a government licence.

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June 26, 2013

Eyeball action

As weird as this sounds, it's a fairly interesting article.

Eyeball-licking: the fetish that is making Japanese teenagers sick

Warning: don't read this if you're eating, prone to sudden bouts of queasiness or unable to even think about Un Chien Andalou without simultaneously bursting into tears and dry-heaving. Believe me, I'm speaking from experience here.

Because this is an article about oculolinctus, an eye-licking fetish that is currently sweeping across the schools of Japan like, well, like a great big dirty bacteria-coated tongue sweeping across a horrific number of adolescent eyeballs.

Sometimes known as "worming" – which somehow makes this whole thing worse – oculolinctus is being blamed for a significant rise in Japanese cases of conjunctivitis and eye-chlamydia, which is actually a thing. It's apparently seen as a new second-base; the thing you graduate to when kissing gets boring.

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June 25, 2013

WYSIWYG

Man calls Solihull police to complain about prostitute's looks

A man has been warned after he dialled 999 to complain about a prostitute's looks after meeting her.

West Midlands Police said they were contacted by the caller who said he "wished to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act".

The force said the call was received at about 19:30 BST on Tuesday complaining that the woman was not as attractive as she had claimed.

Officers have now sent the man a letter warning him about wasting police time. [...]

"The caller claimed that the woman had made out she was better looking than she actually was and he wished to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act," a spokesperson for the force said.

"When he raised this issue with the woman concerned, she allegedly took his car keys, ran away from the car and threw them back at him, prompting him to call police."

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June 24, 2013

Um, yeah... soup

Poet puts testicles up for sale

A Colombian poet and journalist has offered his testicles for sale to fund a trip to introduce Europeans to his work.

Raffael Medina Brochero yesterday told Radio Caracol he would sell them to the first person to agree to pay 375 million pesos ($A209,049) so that he could travel to Europe.

His testicles could be transplanted into a sterile person or used to make soup, said the 52-year-old poet, who has had 11 books published.

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June 20, 2013

TGFB (18)

A new take on 'grass-fed' meat: Pig farmer markets pork raised on marijuana

The possibilities when it comes to marketing meat made from marijuana-fed animals are close to endless, but the man who came up with the idea has decided to simply call them "Pot Pigs."

William von Scheneidau, owner and founder of BB Ranch in Seattle, didn't come up with the idea to feed pigs and other animals weed while sitting around a bong in the basement with his buddies.

In fact, he doesn't even smoke, he said.

Von Scheneidau said the notion came to him when he met the owners of a weed dispensary who told him that, ever since marijuana was legalized in Washington via popular vote last year, they've had extra stems, stalks, and leaves to get rid of.

He simply asked them if he could take what they were planning to throw out, as he once did with a farmer's rotting cantaloupes. [...]

Whenever von Scheneidau introduces a new substance to animals' diets, he makes sure to have a control group of animals that eat normally from the same family.

He said that the pigs that are fed the marijuana just lie around and barely lift their heads.

"I name all my pigs," said von Scheneidau "and Ted told Tim they shouldn't tell me," whether or not they're high.

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June 19, 2013

Imagination needed

Just to think up some better names for these poor aliens.

Whitby councillor claims to have fathered alien child

A LABOUR politician has defended his beliefs in extra-terrestrial life - after claiming to have fathered a child with an alien.

Married father-of-three Simon Parkes, who represents Stakesby on Whitby Town Council, said his wife had rowed with him after revealing he had a child called Zarka with an alien he refers to as the Cat Queen.

The 53-year-old driving instructor said he has sexual relations with the alien about four times a year.

"What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say 'I'm ready' and then the technology I don't understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth," he explained.

"My wife found out about it and was very unhappy, clearly. That caused a few problems, but it is not on a human level, so I don't see it as wrong."

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June 06, 2013

The things we do for love

Man stripped naked to 'propose marriage to girlfriend on the porch'

A Florida man has been tasered and arrested after he tried to propose to girlfriend while naked outside the wrong house at 3.45 a.m.

Casselberry police said that Thomas Edwards, 22, told them he was indeed outside his girlfriends home and that she had instructed him to ask for her hand in marriage while in the buff.

However, the startled homeowners informed Edwards that he was at the wrong house and promptly called the police who then had a bad-tempered confrontation with the naked man.

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May 31, 2013

Life imitates the web

Internet cat agent?

Grumpy Cat Has an Agent, and Now a Movie Deal

Some celebrities simply cannot be pleased. Just ask Ben Lashes, a talent manager in Los Angeles. This week, he landed a major motion-picture deal for a client who nine months ago was an unknown living in Morristown, Ariz., population 227.

When he told his client that she was heading to Hollywood, she looked bored. "She hates movies," says Mr. Lashes of his client, Grumpy Cat, a cat with a mouth puckered into a frown whose viral photos have ricocheted around the Internet.

Mr. Lashes, 34 years old, is an agent for Internet cats.

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May 29, 2013

Bad analogies

56 in this list, actually. Here are the first 10.

50+ of the Worst (Best) Analogies by High School Students

This list of hilariously mis-formulated analogies by high school students has been bouncing around the Interwebs for awhile, but it's so good that it deserves a repost. Lore has it that it originates from a Washington Post contest that asked teachers to send samples of the worst analogies from their students' work. The word "worst" is a bit of a misnomer because many of these analogies are unintentional genius and all of them are pretty hilarious. Enjoy:

  1. Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
  2. He was as tall as a 6'3? tree.
  3. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
  4. From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
  5. John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
  6. She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
  7. The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
  8. He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
  9. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
  10. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.

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May 24, 2013

Busted for inappropriate attire

Police stop cyclist near Bristol for 'not wearing Lycra'

A cyclist was stopped by police for not wearing "the right road bike clothing".

Tim Burton, 25, said he was pulled over in Keynsham on Wednesday for "not wearing Lycra".

He tweeted: "The PC said I wasn't dressed in appropriate gear to be riding my bike so had I stolen it?"

PC Keith James, from Avon and Somerset Police, said he stopped Mr Burton because it was "unusual to see an expensive bike being ridden by someone in non-cycling clothes."

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May 21, 2013

But is that cricket?

High school seniors release 10,000 crickets into halls, get banned from graduation

High school seniors were banned from graduation after releasing 10,000 crickets into its halls as a prank.

East Carter High School in Grayson, Ky., stopped seven students from attending Saturday morning's celebration because of the cost of the cleanup.

Principal Larry Kiser said the creepy critters were still hiding in nooks and crannies several days later — which meant costly exterminators, had to be called in.

And he revealed the students would not receive their diplomas until they had coughed up a collective $600 fine.

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May 20, 2013

Busting Robin Hood

Keene sues six parking meter 'Robin Hoods' who put money in expired meters

KEENE - The city has filed a lawsuit against six citizens, part of a group dubbed Robin Hood of Keene that patrols downtown armed with video cameras and pockets full of change to fill expired parking meters.[...]

"They say video recording or talking to them is harassing them, but I don't agree with that," "Robin Hooder" James Cleaveland said of parking enforcement officers. "So they want to establish a safety zone of fifty feet."

Members of the group place cards under windshield wipers that read, "Your meter expired; however, we saved you from the king's tariffs, Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Please consider paying it forward," and includes an address where donations can be sent.

The group says the suit was filed because the city is losing revenue from parking tickets. The city says the activists are harassing its employees.

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May 18, 2013

Unclear on the concept (3)

Man arrested for 'soliciting prostitute' on HONEYMOON after he leaves bride in hotel so he can meet hooker who is actually a cop

The honeymoon is over for Mohammed Ahmed.

The 21-year-old Illinois man was arrested for soliciting a prostitute last week while he was honeymooning with his new wife in Florida. [....]

Ahmed left his newlywed in their room at the Omni Hotel in Champions Gate when he went off on his sojourn to pay for sex.

When he never returned, the worried bride called the sheriff's office to report him missing.

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May 16, 2013

Vigilantes 1, vulgarians 0

Gothamist issues a certificate of commendation.

Heroic Theatergoer Smashes Cell Phone, Gets Thrown Out

We can't count the number of times we've wanted to enact vengeance on some inconsiderate audience member whose cell phone goes off during a performance. But, like most people, we just bottle that fury up deep down inside and take it out on the break room vending machine later. Not Kevin Williamson. Last night the National Review writer was in attendance at the marvelous new musical Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 when one theatergoer's incessant cell phone use finally drove him over the edge... into vigilantism. [...]

Although each table is explicitly told that photography and cell phone use is strictly prohibited during the performance, the people seated around Williamson were, he says, unbearable. "They were carrying on a steady conversation throughout entire show," Williamson, who also writes a theater column for New Criterion, tells us. "They had been quite loud and obnoxious the entire time. There were two groups, one to the left and one to the right who were being loud and disruptive."

During intermission, Williamson's date complained to the theater's management, but he says he didn't personally witness the theater managers admonish the disruptive audience members. And once the performance resumed, the woman sitting to Williamson's right on his bench would not, he says, stop using her cell phone. "It looked like she was Googling or something," Williamson tells us. "So I leaned over and told her it was distracting and told her to put it away. She responded, 'So don't look.' "

Blood boiling, Williamson says he then asked her, sarcastically, "whether there had been a special exemption for her about not using her phone during the play. She told me to mind my own business, and so I took the phone out of her hands. I meant to throw it out the side door, but it hit some curtains instead. I guess my aim's not as good as it should be." Asked if the phone was damaged, Williamson says, "It had to be; I threw it a pretty good distance."

Title comes from Mr. Williams' account of the events.

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May 15, 2013

Why New Yorkers are so popular

Rich Manhattan moms hire handicapped tour guides so kids can cut lines at Disney World

They are 1 percenters who are 100 percent despicable.

Some wealthy Manhattan moms have figured out a way to cut the long lines at Disney World — by hiring disabled people to pose as family members so they and their kids can jump to the front, The Post has learned.

The "black-market Disney guides" run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.

"My daughter waited one minute to get on 'It's a Small World' — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours," crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida.

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May 14, 2013

And God is her copilot, I'll bet

North Miami mayoral candidate says she was endorsed by Jesus

North Miami's unpredictable election exploits entered the final day on a divine note: a mayoral candidate claiming she was endorsed by Jesus Christ.

Anna Pierre, who previously said she was a victim of Vodou sorcery, posted the message in a campaign-style flier featured on her Facebook page.

This woman seems to have a lot going on.


Update:
Mayoral candidate in Florida defeated after claiming endorsement by Jesus

Anna Pierre, a registered nurse, claimed she was endorsed by Jesus Christ, but still finished last among the seven candidates in the North Miami mayor's race.

She didn't have a prayer.

A mayoral candidate in Florida was soundly defeated in her election on Tuesday despite claiming an endorsement by Jesus Christ.

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May 13, 2013

Senhor Testiculo

Danilo writes, "[H]ere in Brazil this is like a joke. Many people here can't understand how people can think that way. It's like a shame."

Senhor Testiculo (AKA 'Mr. Balls') Is Here To Save Brazilians From Testicular Cancer

We've got to hand it to this Brazilian cancer organization: Having a huge testicle as a mascot is pretty ballsy.

"Senhor Testiculo" (aka "Mr. Testicle" or "Mr. Balls"), recently made a very public appearance at an event run by the Associação de Assistência às Pessoas in Viçosa, Brazil. The mascot, which is literally a huge pair of testicles, appears quite cheerful in the numerous pictures from the event. (Just goes to show, you don't have to be testy to represent testicular cancer.)

Picture of this mascot at the link

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May 11, 2013

DIY invisibilty

Do-it-yourself invisibility with 3-D printing

Seven years ago, Duke University engineers demonstrated the first working invisibility cloak in complex laboratory experiments. Now it appears creating a simple cloak has become a lot simpler.

"I would argue that essentially anyone who can spend a couple thousand dollars on a non-industry grade 3-D printer can literally make a plastic cloak overnight," said Yaroslav Urzhumov, assistant research professor in electrical and computer engineering at Duke's Pratt School of Engineering. [...]

Urzhumov said that producing a cloak in this fashion is inexpensive and easy. He and his team made a small one at Duke which looks like a Frisbee™ disc made out of Swiss cheese. Algorithms determined the location, size and shape of the holes to deflect microwave beams. The fabrication process takes from three to seven hours. [...]

Just like the 2006 cloak, the newer version deflects microwave beams, but researchers feel confident that in the not-so-distant future, the cloak can work for higher wavelengths, including visible light.

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May 06, 2013

Don't it make your brown eyes blue

New laser surgery technique can turn your brown eyes blue

Of all the features we notice about a person upon meeting them, their eyes are often the first connection we make. But some people just aren't satisfied with the color of their peepers, wishing their dark corneas away in favor of a pleasant shade of blue. Those unhappy with brown eyes may find just what they're looking for: Laguna Beach doctor Gregg Homer has developed a new procedure that can actually convert brown-colored eyes to blue in just a matter of weeks.

The operation itself is fairly straight forward: Using a laser tuned to a special frequency, the doctor actually alters the cells that produce the brown coloration in the eye. After a few weeks, the darker color begins to fade, revealing the blue pigment underneath. As the doctor explains it, the procedure only works for brown-eyed individuals, as they already have a bluish coloration hiding underneath.

According to Homer, the procedure takes just 20 seconds to complete. [...] Homer and his company, Stroma Medical, have been working on the technology for over a decade, and say it will be available on a consumer basis within three years.

As Dave Barry wrote, "Lasers are amazing devices which emit beams of light powerful enough to vaporize a bulldozer, yet are so precise that they can be used in delicate optical surgery, provided the surgeon remembers to change the setting on the laser to ‘delicate optical surgery’ from ‘vaporize bulldozer'."

Via TYWKIWDBI who references Crystal Gayle's 1977 song.

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May 02, 2013

Unclear on the concept (2)

Victims take gun from suspects during home invasion, suspects come back asking for their gun

Edinburg police continue their search for a man accused of robbing three people early Saturday morning.

Investigators told Action 4 News two men burst into an apartment located on the 1400 block of West Carmen Street around 4:00 Saturday morning and demanded money. [...]

Police said during the robbery the victims were able to get the gun from the suspects; both fled the scene.
The victims called 911 and turned the gun over to police.

A few hours later the victims said the suspects came back and asked for their gun back—that is when the victims called police again.

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May 01, 2013

A little indiscreet, to say the least

She never should have walked the walk

Sometimes, to make a convincing case for yourself, you have to show as well as tell, walk the walk as well as talk the talk. [...]

Erica Tamburin made the mistake of walking the walk when she ought not have. She participated in the Ogden Newspapers Half Marathon in May 2010, finishing in 2 hours, 43 minutes (50th out of 173).

What would have been a respectable performance for anyone was truly extraordinary for a young woman claiming severe, permanent injuries from a car accident in the Cabela’s parking lot just six months earlier. (Ms. Tamburin was also listed as the first baseman for the HJS coed softball team subsequent to her accident.)

Tamburin filed suit against Cabela’s in 2011, claiming injuries to her head, neck, shoulders, back, chest, arms, body chemistry, and psyche. The exact nature of the injuries to her “body chemistry” and “psyche” is not known.

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April 30, 2013

Meet Mr. Slick

This cat has to be a crazy smooth talker.

Four female prison guards impregnated by same inmate

BALTIMORE Four female prison guards in Baltimore fell pregnant to the same inmate, according to authorities who have busted a major smuggling gang inside the jail system.

Two of the women tattooed the inmate's name on their bodies and he showered three of them with expensive gifts including cars and jewelry.

The four women are among 25 people who face federal charges, including 13 female prison guards, CBS Baltimore reports.

The scheme involved smuggling drugs and cell phones into Baltimore City Detention Center.

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April 29, 2013

First thing we do...

Let's kill all the lawyers. If you read the woman's feedback you'll see that it's very civil.

Med Express Sues Marginally Dissatisfied Customer For Posting Accurate Feedback On eBay

Here's yet another example of companies using lawsuits to censor speech -- a situation that would be stopped if there was a serious federal anti-SLAPP law in place. Paul Levy shares the incredible story of a company called "Med Express," an Ohio company, who appears to sell various medical equipment exclusively via eBay (there are other "Med Express" companies out there from what I can tell). One buyer, in South Carolina, purchased something, but was disappointed by the fact that the product arrived postage due. The woman noted it wasn't the fact that she had to pay, just the inconvenience of having to pay to get the delivery when it wasn't expected. In response, she left negative feedback on Med Express' eBay page.

While Med Express did express regret (while noting that some other customers had seen the same problem) and offered to reimburse the postage due, it also asked her to remove the negative review. However, as she noted, it wasn't the money issue, but the inconvenience, so she decided to leave her feedback up. At this point, Med Express and its lawyer, James Amodio, apparently decided that if she didn't like "inconvenience" it would subject her to more inconvenience and sued her for defamation in state court in Ohio and sought a temporary restraining order against eBay to block the review. While that failed, apparently the judge is allowing a hearing to happen for a preliminary injunction even though (as Levy points out) the same reason the TRO was rejected should apply to any preliminary injunction.

Amazingly, the complaint directly lays out the pretty clear fact that it's suing her for not removing a truthful review. They don't even attempt to argue that she said anything false or defamatory. Just that they feel she shouldn't have complained since they offered to reimburse.

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April 26, 2013

Hello there, sailor!

US sailor thwarts Dubai bus driver rapist

An off-duty US navy sailor wrestled a bus driver to the ground and beat him into submission after he attempted to rape her at knife point, a court heard yesterday.

Prosecutors said that she knocked the knife from his hand, broke it in two, bit him in the hand, forced him to the ground and locked him between her thighs.

The woman, 28, was on 24-hour shore leave in Dubai and was attacked as she returned to the port where she was based after a day shopping.

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April 25, 2013

There's an app for that (11)

The population of Iceland is only ~320, 000 people.

Iceland students create 'Incest Spoiler' Android app

REYKJAVíK, Iceland, April 22 (UPI) -- Three University of Iceland students said the smartphone app they designed is meant to prevent people from accidentally dating their cousins.

On the other hand, here are 31 famous people who married a first cousin.

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April 24, 2013

Banzai!

Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop comes to aid of woman being attacked

A Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop helped a neighbor woman escape a Tuesday morning attack by a man who had been stalking her.

Kent Hendrix woke up Tuesday to his teenage son pounding on his bedroom door and telling him somebody was being mugged in front of their house. The 47-year-old father of six rushed out the door and grabbed the weapon closest to him -- a 29-inch high carbon steel Samurai sword.

He came upon what he describes as a melee between a woman and a man. His son stayed inside to call 911 while he approached the man along with other neighbors who came to help. The martial arts instructor didn't hesitate in drawing the sword and yelling at him to get on the ground.

"His eyes got as big as saucers and he kind of gasped and jumped back," Hendrix said by phone Tuesday afternoon.

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Sounds like it's a contender

Is this the shortest TV career in history?

The weekend new anchor who started his new job by swearing live on air with his first words has been let go today by his news station in North Dakota.

KFYR news anchor A.J. Clemente opened up on air by saying 'F****** s***' into his live microphone, leaving his co-anchor dumbfounded.

Sadly though for Clemente, KFYRTV fired him today after less than 24-hours in the job and Clemente took to Twitter to say, 'Unfortunately KFYRTV has decided to let me go. Thank you to them and everyone in ND for the opportunity and everyone for the support.'

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April 23, 2013

Like flies to honey, I'll bet

Customers flock to topless barber shop

A Brisbane barber shop says it is attracting customers from hundreds of miles away - after offering topless trims.

It claims that customers travel from as far as Townesville - 850 miles away - for a short back and sides.

The scantily-clad barbers also offer scalp massages, brow waxing, blow dries and a shave with a cut-throat razor.

Owner operator Jasmine Robson said all her stylists were fully qualified hairdressers.

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April 22, 2013

Now that's a phat one

Video shows UC Santa Cruz police confiscating 2-pound joint from 4/20 party

A video posted to the Internet shows police on the University of California, Santa Cruz campus confiscating what is described as a 2-pound marijuana joint Saturday.

According to various accounts on the Internet, the incident happened at an annual event that marks April 20, or 4/20, numbers which have become associated with smoking marijauna.

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April 19, 2013

Good morning!

Boy, 16, charged with assault for urinating in school staffroom coffee pot after teachers report strange 'chemical taste'

A 16-year-old Missouri boy has been charged with assault after allegedly urinating into his teachers' staffroom coffee pot.

The unidentified boy is accused of being caught on camera sneaking into the room at Central High School, St Joseph, and urinating into the glass container.

After three weeks of investigation and watching surveillance video from a hidden staffroom camera, headteacher Melody Smith said staff identified a possible culprit and notified police.

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April 18, 2013

Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail

When Dinner Has a Gleam in Its Eye

BEIJING — Bundled up on a wind-whipped day, about 30 people lined up outside a restaurant takeout window here, waiting for rabbit heads.

For guests in the main dining room, a video explained how to eat the fist-size heads. Su Yong, the restaurant's enthusiastic chef and star of the video, demonstrated by pulling open the rabbit's mouth and separating the jaw from the skull before splitting the jawbone in two and sucking off the succulent meat. In case there was any confusion, brochures with diagrams rested on each table.

Mr. Su is a sort of rabbit head evangelist, drawing celebrities to his restaurant, Old Street Rabbit, to help drum up crowds. He holds aloft one half of a tiny jawbone, explaining that it can be employed as a pick, and then uses the incisor to scoop out an eye, window to the bunny's soul.

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April 17, 2013

Self-contempt

Judge holds self in contempt for his smartphone

IONIA, Mich. (AP) — A Michigan judge whose smartphone disrupted a hearing in his own courtroom has held himself in contempt and paid $25 for the infraction.

Judge Raymond Voet has a posted policy at Ionia County 64A District Court stating that electronic devices causing a disturbance during court sessions will result in the owner being cited with contempt, the Sentinel-Standard of Ionia and MLive.com reported.

On Friday afternoon, during