March 07, 2014
That'll buy a lot of napkins
Man sues McDonald's over napkin: Second napkin denial leads to $1.5 million suit
A man who is suing McDonald's over a napkin is asking a hefty award of $1.5 million for the mental anguish he has suffered. Apparently this really caused him a great deal of distress when he was only handed one napkin with his Quarter Pounder Deluxe. Clearly everyone knows that one of those burgers are at least worthy of two napkins!
It seems when Webster Lucas found only one napkin in his bag, he went to the counter and asked for another and he was refused, claims his lawsuit. This is when this unhappy customer claimed the manager made a racist remark to him, reports the New York Daily News on March 2.
The lawsuit came about because of the one napkin, but when this manager of the Pacoima, California McDonald's refused him another, he said something that Lucas took as racist. Lucas claims the Mexican-American boss said something under his breath that sounded like, "you people," which Lucas felt was in reference to him being black.
March 05, 2014
What in the world is a "level 2 look alike firearm"? (And who hires these people to run schools?)
10-year-old suspended for making fingers into shape of gun
(CNN) -- Ten-year-old Nathan Entingh doesn't understand why he got suspended from school for three days.
According to his father, Paul Entingh, one moment the boy was "goofing off" with his friends in fifth-grade science class, and the next the teacher was taking him out of the classroom, invoking Ohio's zero-tolerance policy.
The offense? Nathan was "making his fingers look like a gun, having the thumb up and the pointed finger sticking out," said Entingh, describing the February 26 incident.
"He was pointing it at a friend's head and he said 'boom.' The kid didn't see it. No other kids saw it. But the teacher saw it," he said. "It wasn't threatening. It wasn't hostile. It was a 10-year-old kid playing."
The next morning Paul Entingh escorted his son Nathan to the principal's office, where they met with Devonshire Alternative Elementary School Principal Patricia Price.
"She said if it happened again the suspension would be longer, if not permanent," said Entingh, who also received a letter explaining the reason for Nathan's suspension as a "level 2 look alike firearm."
March 04, 2014
It's a what?
Confusion Is An Electronic Cigarette That Also Lets You Make Phone Calls
The Supersmoker looks like your run-of-the-mill e-cigarette. Only this one comes with its own Bluetooth chip, and mic and speaker set. This means that on top of vaporizing flavoured nicotine liquids, it lets you make and receive phone calls without even taking your phone out of your pocket. You can even stream music to it, thus serving as a Bluetooth speaker. It's an odd combination and we're still trying to figure out how exactly you're supposed to use it. Do you puff and talk at the same time? Or do you take it out of your mouth and hold it to your ear? It's bizarre but that's sort of what makes it interesting as well. $110 will get you one, and it's available now.
Video here, if you're interested.
March 03, 2014
Timing is everything (2)
Dead Man Kicking: Mississippi Man Wakes Up In Funeral Home Right Before Embalming
A Mississippi funeral home says it found a man alive and kicking in a body bag hours after the coroner pronounced him dead.
Walter Williams was pronounced dead Wednesday night after his pulse stopped, but funeral home employees found him trying to kick through his body bag Thursday morning.
Eddie Hester, Williams’ nephew, said Friday Williams is in the hospital and breathing without the help of a respirator, but is too weak to talk.
“It’s a miracle,” Hester said in an interview. “I don’t know how long he’s gonna be here, but right now he’s here, and the whole family is glad.”
February 28, 2014
Who wouldn't love 3-year-old pizza?
Three-year pizza to join US Army MRE delicacies
Pizza with a three-year shelf life will soon be joining the US Army's field rations menu. These infamous MREs (Meal, Ready to Eat) have a long and checkered history, acquiring such sobriquets over the years as "Meals Rejected by Everyone" and "Materials Resembling Edibles." Pizza has long topped the list of requested meals, but the task of providing a palatable slice of this complex food that will survive the required three-year shelf life has foiled all attempts. Now, the folks at Natick's Combat Feeding Directorate have achieved a minor miracle in food technology: stopping time for a slice of pizza.
February 27, 2014
No more Woof
This reminds me of a very old joke.
Talking Dog Device Ready to Hit Market Soon
What if your dog could greet you with more than a growl, or announce the reason he's scratching at the door?
It sounds absurd and much like the storyline from the Pixar film, "Up," but Scandinavian scientists are working to develop a headset that could soon allow your furry best friend to speak his mind.
The Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery is the brains behind "No More Woof" -- technology that aims to distinguish canine thought patterns and then issue them as short sentences via a microphone. [...]
The research team, who previously brought the world such inventions as the pet flying carpet, weren't immediately available for comment on Wednesday, but explained the most recent project on their website.
February 26, 2014
Not an offer I'd be interested in
Bruce the dog offered a personal cheque by Darwin council for his testicles
BRUCE Wallder the great dane may well be the first dog in history to receive a cheque in the mail as consolation for having his testicles removed.
That is exactly what Darwin council did last week, much to the amusement of Bruce's owner Tom Wallder.
De-sexed dog owners receive a registration reimbursement of $60 from the council for having their pets de-sexed, however the last thing Mr Wallder - the human - was expecting was for the cheque to be sent out in the name of his beloved and recently castrated eight-month-old canine. "I said to my wife, 'that's funny, the dog is getting mail now'," Mr Wallder said.
"I don't know what Bruce is going to spend it on ... probably some new balls."
February 25, 2014
Was the fire alarm broken?
Lindenwood student gets probation for bomb threat she called in because she hadn't finished homework
ST. CHARLES COUNTY • A Lindenwood University student who phoned in a bomb threat because she didn’t do her homework got a suspended sentence Monday and was placed on five years’ probation.
Lori L. Knight, 39, of the 5000 block of Lansdowne Avenue in St. Louis, pleaded guilty earlier of making a terrorist threat.
On May 1, Knight called Lindenwood’s main switchboard from a blocked phone line and told the operator that her “brother” planned a bombing.
Knight called Lindenwood’s Westport campus two hours later and asked if classes had been canceled.
She said her “niece” had heard about bomb threats at the St. Charles campus.
Police were able to trace Knight’s phone number, and she was apprehended a few hours later.
February 24, 2014
Pure marketing genius
Girl Scout sells cookies outside pot dispensary: 117 boxes in 2 hours
It's that time of year again. Time when your local market entrances are flooded with Girl Scouts selling boxes of Samoas, Tagalongs and Thin Mints. But one 13-year-old Girl Scout in San Francisco and her mother made a rather business-savvy decision to sell cookies outside of a medical marijuana dispensary.
On Monday, Danielle Lei and her mother set up shop outside the Green Cross store with the cookies. With the store's blessing, Lei sold 117 boxes in two hours.
Holli Bert, a spokeswoman for the Green Cross, said that after just 45 minutes, Lei had to call for backup cookies to replenish her stock.
February 20, 2014
Don't mess with a man with a forklift
The Twix bar, the forklift, and the fired Iowan
It's a familiar tableau: an overpriced vending-machine candy bar dangles on a spiral hook, tantalizingly out of reach and refusing to drop.
For most of us, that mini-drama usually ends in defeat. But not for Robert McKevitt of Spirit Lake, whose victory over an uncooperative vending machine ultimately cost him his job.
McKevitt was working the second shift at Polaris Industries' warehouse in Milford when he decided to break for a snack last fall.
He says he deposited $1 in a vending machine, selected a 90-cent Twix bar, and then watched as the candy bar crept forward in its slot, began its descent and was abruptly snagged by a spiral hook that held it suspended in midair.
"I was, like, 'Oh, man,' " said McKevitt, 27. "So I put in another dollar, and then it wouldn't do anything."
At first, McKevitt's frustration took the customary route: He banged the side of the machine. He tried rocking it back and forth.
But when that didn't work, McKevitt walked away and commandeered an 8,000-pound forklift, according to state unemployment compensation records.
He reportedly drove up to the vending machine, lifted it 2 feet off the concrete warehouse floor — then let it drop. He allegedly repeated the maneuver at least six times, by which time three candy bars had fallen into the chute for his retrieval.
When a supervisor confronted him, McKevitt allegedly explained he was simply trying to get the snack he had paid for.
He was fired five days later.
In a ruling that became public last month, a state administrative law judge denied his claim for unemployment benefits, saying McKevitt had demonstrated a willful disregard for his employer's interests.
February 19, 2014
The old banana peel scam
Screening for man charged after banana peel suit
WASHINGTON (AP) — A D.C. judge has ordered a psychological screening for a Maryland man accused of staging a fall on a banana peel in a Metro station elevator.
The screening was ordered Tuesday after a request from an attorney for 42-year-old Maurice Owens of District Heights. Owens sued the transit agency for $15,000, claiming he injured his left leg and hip in a fall at the Potomac Avenue station in August.
Surveillance video shows Owens dropping a banana peel, stepping on it as the elevator door opens, then appearing to thrust himself forward and falling to the ground.
February 18, 2014
Man with flower pot on head wields chainsaw during robbery
6AM, UPDATE: An Ipswich teenager is accused of going on a drunken late-night chainsaw rampage inside a petrol station while wearing a flower pot on his head.
Police rushed to the 7-Eleven service station on Ash St, Flinders View, following calls for help from two terrified shop attendants.
It will be alleged the man - who was wearing a flower pot over his head in an attempt to conceal his identity - entered the store about 4.30am on Monday, while two staff members were cleaning a coffee machine.
Wielding a chainsaw which was running at the time, the man lunged at the store attendants, who retreated into a back room.
Police allege the man then used the chainsaw to damage a window and several display racks in the shop, before exposing his buttocks to the store attendants. He is accused of damaging a parked vehicle upon fleeing the scene.
It will be alleged the man made demands for money, but left the store only with a bottle of soft drink and the chainsaw.
February 17, 2014
Send in the clowns
National clown shortage may be approaching, trade organizations fear
Send in the clowns — please!
As the “Greatest Show on Earth” returns to Brooklyn Thursday, circus folk fear a national clown shortage is on the horizon.
Membership at the country’s largest trade organizations for the jokesters has plunged over the past decade as declining interest, old age and higher standards among employers align against Krusty, Bozo and their crimson-nosed colleagues.
“What’s happening is attrition,” said Clowns of America International President Glen Kohlberger, who added that membership at the Florida-based organization has plummeted since 2006. “The older clowns are passing away.”
He said he wouldn’t release specific numbers, citing the privacy of the members.
Membership at the World Clown Association, the country’s largest trade group for clowns, has dropped from about 3,500 to 2,500 since 2004.
“The challenge is getting younger people involved in clowning,” said Association President Deanna (Dee Dee) Hartmier, who said most of her members are over 40.
H.T. Jeff G
February 14, 2014
Save the doughnut
The Importance of a Giant Doughnut
It may not have the flashy movie-star credentials of the enormous sign at Randy’s, up the road near Los Angeles International Airport. But the giant pink doughnut that marks the former site of a Mrs. Chapman’s Angel Food Donuts chain is a beloved Long Beach landmark nonetheless.
It was erected in the 1950s, when fancifully shaped roadside signs were a common marketing ploy. And it endured even after the shop sold its last pastry more than 10 years ago. But in a strange twist of fate, the arrival of a new doughnut behemoth – national chain Dunkin’ Donuts – threatened to consign it to the trash heap.
The aging doughnut, perhaps structurally compromised, didn't fit into the company’s modern profile. The franchise announced plans to destroy it, along with the adjacent building, when it took over the site.
That’s when doughnut advocates sprang into action. The Los Angeles Conservancy and preservation-minded Long Beachers rallied, launching a campaign to "Save the Giant Donut."
It appears they've won their battle. In an appearance before the city planning commission last week, a managing partner of the Dunkin’ Donuts franchisee announced that his company had heard the message. "We want to be good neighbors," he said, according to the Los Angeles Times. "The last thing we want to do is be viewed as the guys that killed the doughnut."
February 12, 2014
Underarm pepper spray mix-up clears club
A German woman who mistook her pepper spray for deodorant and doused herself with it in a nightclub toilet, injuring two women and forcing the club to evacuate, could face negligent bodily harm charges.
The 20-year-old woman had nipped into the Bavarian club's toilets to freshen up late on Monday night. She reached into her friend's bag for her deodorant, but instead pulled out a canister of pepper spray. [...]
It immediately became clear that the spray was not what she thought though, and the irritant gas – which can be used for self defence and crowd control – spread out into the rest of the disco. Two women sustained eye injuries and had to be given medical treatment.
February 07, 2014
You should've seen the one that got away
Intruder scared away by Big Mouth Billy Bass
The crime scene of a break-in at a Rochester's Hooked on Fishing shop showed evidence that a burglar got scared off by a motion-activated, singing bass, authorities said.
The novelty bass, which had been hung near the door and would start singing "Take Me to the River" whenever someone entered the shop, was found on the floor after the intruder knocked it down as part of breaking the door to get in, according to the Olmsted County Sheriff's Office.
But the intruder appeared to have left in a hurry, without stealing anything -- not tackle nor cash that had been left in "a very visible spot," Sgt. Tom Claymon said.
The bass "took one for the team," Claymon said. "There were plenty of things to take but nothing was missing … other than Billy's pride"
February 06, 2014
Bad moon indeed
Ghan be a bad moon rising
A BUNCH of bare asses are about to celebrate 10 years since they mooned the first passenger train from Adelaide to Darwin.
And the only difference in their re-creation is a bit more hair and a lot more saggy skin.
The residents of Livingstone, 40km southeast of Darwin, came up with the idea as the first Ghan passenger train was about to reach Darwin on February 3, 2004.
Spokeswoman Michelle Salmon said: "It was just supposed to be locals and then word got out and this whole airstrip was lined with asses".
A crude poster drawn by local Marko Maguire was pinned at the local reserve and word got out to about 400 people who turned up at Livingstone Airstrip, helped by the NT News.
"We did it because we're buggers out here," Ms Salmon said.
"We have dinner parties on car trailers and silly things like that. And Micko said: 'We should moon the Ghan when it comes through'. It was a rare blue moon that night."
February 04, 2014
Pants - who needs 'em?
Postal worker dons pants for first time in 10 years
WALLED LAKE, Mich., Feb. 3 (UPI) -- A Michigan postal worker said this winter's subzero temperatures led him to don full-length pants for the first time in 10 years.
Kenny Martin, 56, of White Lake Township, said he has worn his postal worker shorts year round on his route in Walled Lake for the past 10 years, but this winter saw him finally put on long pants to go to work, the Detroit Free Press reported Monday.
"Awfully cold this year. This is the first time in 10 years that I actually started wearing pants to work. Once I hit the zero mark, that was it," Martin said. [...]
"Pants are just an inconvenience. They're for two things. They're for weddings and funerals," he said.
January 31, 2014
Sad cow face
No Super Bowl ad for Nampa fertilizer company
The owners of Nampa fertilizer company Poop - Natural Dairy Compost, learned their TV ad will not play during the Super Bowl this Sunday. The company was a finalist in a national small business contest sponsored by Intuit awarding a 30-second TV ad to the winner.
The company announced the news via its Twitter feed, @GlenndaDaCow: "Sad cow face...the boys just told the herd we didn't win...Big thanks to all who have supported us!"
January 30, 2014
Just call him Woody
Man somehow survives going through wood chipper
Frank Arce truly must have a guardian angel looking after him. That's how he explains surviving the unthinkable; being caught inside a high-powered wood chipper when it was mistakenly turned on.
Arce had gone in to the machine to dislodge an object that had clogged up the machine. Before going in, he says he made sure the machinery was turned off in accordance with his company's safety protocol. But once inside he heard a sickening noise; the engine powering on.
January 29, 2014
It's Miller Time
Man fights off shark, stitches up own leg, goes to the pub
A junior doctor has recounted how he fended off a shark attack and stitched up his own wound on the beach before enjoying a pint of beer at a nearby pub.
James Grant was spearfishing with friends near Colac Bay at the base of New Zealand's South Island on Saturday when he was attacked by what he believed was a sevengill shark. [...]
He quickly made it on to rocks on the shore, where he took off the wetsuit – borrowed from a friend – and saw bites up to 5cm long.
Grant gave himself stitches using a first aid kit he kept in his vehicle for pig hunts. He and his friends then went to the Colac Bay Tavern, where he was given a bandage because he was dripping blood on the floor.
January 27, 2014
Ehh, what's up doc?
Picture of the mystery rabbit at the link.
Nelson Mandela statue: Sculptors told to remove bronze rabbit hidden in the ear
A bronze rabbit nestled in the ear of the recently unveiled Nelson Mandela statue has angered the South African Government, which has ordered sculptors to remove the animal and "restore the statue back to dignity".
The 30ft-high bronze statue stands outside the government's headquarters known as the Union Buildings in Pretoria.
Portraying Mr Mandela with his arms outstretched the current South African President, Jacob Zuma, said it is designed to reflect that he had embraced the entire nation.
Upon closer inspection, a bronze statue of a rabbit can be seen peering out from inside the ear.
January 23, 2014
It's hard to tell who's crazy here
Man sues Jennifer Lopez for 'tricking him into sending her naked photos of himself'
A man is suing Jennifer Lopez for allegedly tricking him into sending her nude photos of himself.
The pop star, 44, is being sued in Los Angeles by Rodrigo Ruiz, who is asking for $10,000, alleging a series of letters from Jennifer left him so depressed he sought counseling, according to a report on TMZ.
But it appears that a 53-year-old woman is behind the bizzare events, according to the report.
In the suit, Ruiz says the singer mailed him a series of unsolicited letters, beginning in 2008, demanding he send her naked photos and demo CDs.
The suit further claims the letters encouraged his belief that he had a chance at a music career and a possible romance with Jennifer.
He says she failed to follow through, leaving him with depression for which he sought professional help.
In addition to the lawsuit, Ruiz filed a police report claiming sexual harassment.
January 22, 2014
And the winners are...
The 25 most common passwords of 2013
Password security is more important than ever. If you wonder which ones are the worst to use, check out the 25 most common passwords of 2013 and avoid them like the plague.
According to password management company SplashData, the top three passwords of the year are "123456," "password" and "12345678." The top three passwords haven't changed, but "123456" and "password" swapped places from last year. The company's list of the "25 worst passwords of the year" was compiled using data that hackers have posted online, which are said to be stolen passwords.
January 21, 2014
The Internet of Spambots
Fridge sends spam emails as attack hits smart gadgets
A fridge has been discovered sending out spam after a web attack managed to compromise smart gadgets.
The fridge was one of more than 100,000 devices used to take part in the spam campaign.
Uncovered by security firm Proofpoint the attack compromised computers, home routers, media PCs and smart TV sets.
The attack is believed to be one of the first to exploit the lax security on devices that are part of the "internet of things".
January 20, 2014
Someday you'll thank me, bro
Woman cancel's brother's wedding because she HATED the bride
Ann Duffy, 50, impersonated her future sister-in-law when she rung up Plymouth Registry Office in Devon to tell them that she wanted to cancel the wedding - just 20 days before it was set to take place.
A court heard how on the same day that Duffy cancelled the wedding, she called her brother and said: "You better put this on speakerphone.
"I have saved you on the divorce.
"I have cancelled your wedding.
"Would you like me to send you the confirmation email?"
The friction between the two women was said to be over the care of Duffy's mum, who all three were living with.
In a police interview, Duffy said she was trying to protect her brother from a marriage to someone she dislikes and who she believed was taking her mother away.
January 18, 2014
TIL that 'invigilator' is a word.
CHEATERS BEWARE: Belgian school uses aerial drone to monitor exams
Thomas More school, located about 30km north of Brussels, posted a video on YouTube showing the aerial drone soaring above students while they take a test.
The tiny DJI Phantom aircraft, armed with a GoPro video camera, is controlled by one invigilator while another watches a monitor for potential cheats.
January 17, 2014
Just put some cards in the spokes
Oh, yeah.... This'll make your Kia Soul sound really impressive I'm sure.
Automakers work with BlackBerry's QNX to develop synthetic engine sounds
TORONTO -- For car lovers, there is just something about a revving engine that gets the blood moving faster.
Now automakers can capitalize on that feeling by teaming with a division of BlackBerry that is developing a way to replicate the sound of yesteryear's driving experience, even as cars become quieter and more fuel efficient.
QNX Software Systems -- acquired by BlackBerry (TSX:BB) nearly four years ago -- debuted a couple of concept cars on Tuesday at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas.
One is a modified Kia Soul hatchback that showcases a new technology called "engine sound enhancement." In its most basic form, it's a soundtrack that simulates the engine both inside the car and for people on the outside through speakers.
January 16, 2014
Space aliens seem to be a hot topic these days.
Jennifer McCarthy Pulls Gun From Vagina After Dispute Over Space Aliens: Cops
The ex-wife of Pulitzer Prize-winning author Cormac McCarthy was arrested Saturday after allegedly whipping a gun out of her vagina and threatening her boyfriend.
Jennifer McCarthy, 48, got into an argument with her 53-year-old lover about space aliens, according to a probable cause affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun. McCarthy left her Santa Fe residence, then came back and changed into lingerie. The outfit was accessorized by a silver handgun placed in her vagina, with which she began to have "inner course," [sic] according to the affidavit.
While cleaning the chamber, McCarthy reportedly posed the question, "Who is crazy, you or me?" before pulling out the gun and pointing it at her boyfriend's head, the Albuquerque Journal reported. The boyfriend told deputies he wrested the weapon away from her and put it first in the toilet, then the trash can.
January 15, 2014
Question: How could a passenger jet land at the wrong airport? Answer: Uh ...
(CNN) -- A day after a Southwest Airlines jet with 124 passengers landed at the wrong airport, many are asking: How in the world could that happen?
"It's not common, but it's not unheard of," said pilot Mark Weiss, a 20-year veteran of commercial aviation who has frequently flown Boeing 737-700s, the same kind of aircraft that touched down Sunday at a small airport in Taney County, Missouri, about seven miles from where it was supposed to land at Branson Airport.
The plane stopped about 500 feet from the end of a runway at M. Graham Clark Downtown Airport, but no one was injured, said Chris Berndt, the Western Taney County Fire District fire chief and emergency management director. [...]
The airport's runway is 3,738 feet long, about half the length of the Branson Airport runway, which is 7,140 feet. That forced pilots to act fast and brake hard when the aircraft touched down.
January 14, 2014
I just read the daily news... (2)
Iranian news agency says the U.S. is secretly run by Nazi space aliens. Really.
Iran's semi-official news outlets have something of a reputation for taking conspiracy theorism to the next level. They've written on Israel's secret plans to annex Iraq, the conspiracy by Western media to fabricate quotes by Iranian President Hassan Rouhani condemning the Holocaust and the secret Jewishness of the British royal family. You may notice a certain theme here.
On Sunday, the hard-line semi-official Fars News dropped one of its biggest bombshells yet: The United States government has been secretly run by a "shadow government" of space aliens since 1945. Yes, space aliens. The alien government is based out of Nevada and had previously run Nazi Germany. It adds, for timeliness, that the controversial NSA programs are actually a tool for the aliens to hide their presence on Earth and their secret agenda for global domination. This is all asserted as incontrovertible fact with no caveats.
January 13, 2014
Experts: Florida's millipedes harmless to humans, useful to monkeys
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla., Jan. 13 (UPI) -- Experts said the millipedes infesting south Florida are harmless to humans and serve as both mosquito repellant and a recreational drug to monkeys. [...]
G.B. Edwards, an entomologist with the Division of Plant Industry at the state Department of Agriculture in Gainesville, said the millipedes are also put to good use by monkeys, which rub the creatures on their fur to use their defensive chemical as an insecticide. He said the monkeys also eat the millipedes as a hallucinogen.
"They eat them," Edwards said. "I wouldn't recommend a person doing that."
January 10, 2014
A proud Pastafarian
‘Strainer’ things have happened
A unique style of headwear was present during newly-seated Pomfret Town Council member Christopher Schaeffer's oath of office Thursday afternoon, but it wasn't intended to keep his head warm.
Schaeffer wore a colander (a strainer typically used to drain water from spaghetti) while Town Clerk Allison Dispense administered the oath of office to him before the board's reorganizational meeting. When the OBSERVER asked afterward why he wore a colander on his head, Schaeffer said he was a minister with an even more unique organization - the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.
"It's just a statement about religious freedom," he said. "It's a religion without any dogma."
January 09, 2014
Mr. Reichert is feeling lucky
Residents Fuming Over Name Of Northern NJ Smoke Shop
HACKENSACK, N.J. (CBSNewYork/AP) – Some northern New Jersey residents are fired up over a new smoke shop that's about to open in their neighborhood.
It's not the bongs and other paraphernalia that have them fuming. It's the name: Fu King Smoke Shop.
Picture the sign, then use your imagination.
The head of a parent teachers association at a nearby Hackensack elementary school told The Record that the sign "is almost like an insult to the intelligence" of the community.
The store's owner begs to differ. [...]
Reichert said “Fu” is Chinese for wealth or lucky, and is part of a theme.
January 08, 2014
I'm sure he was
Mooroopna is in the Strine state of Victoria.
Embarrassing end to naked hijinks
Emergency service crews were called out to help free a naked man from a washing machine in Mooroopna.
Emergency services took 20 minutes to free a naked Mooroopna man from a top-loading washing machine after a game of hide-and-seek went horribly wrong.
Shepparton police Sergeant Michelle De Araugo said the man had attempted to climb into the washing machine on Saturday afternoon with the aim of surprising his partner, but he became firmly wedged.
Police, firefighters, paramedics, Tatura SES and Shepparton Search and Rescue Squad had to work out how to manoeuvre the man to free him from the tight space.
''He was very well wedged in there and we were concerned for his health and wellbeing,'' Sgt De Araugo said.
''It was just a game gone wrong.
''It would be fair to say the gentleman was very embarrassed.''
January 07, 2014
Hmm... maybe his flamethrower's for sale
'Fire-breathing weaponry'? That's a new one.
Fargo Man Arrested For Clearing Snow With Flamethrower
Fargo, ND – Local resident Todd Fox has been detained for "reckless endangerment" and "illegal use of high-powered fire-breathing weaponry" for attacking snow with his flamethrower. Fox reportedly became so fed up with the week-long blowing snow epidemic in his area that he decided to KILL IT WITH FIRE.
The neighborhood was treated with quite a show last night as Fox unleashed an inferno upon the mountainous snow palace that was his front yard. Neighbors to his immediate right and left noticed a bright orange cloud and could hear what they thought was "puff the magic dragon spewing mayhem all over hell," which prompted one of them to notify police.
January 06, 2014
Well, duh (5)
It's official: Pope has not abolished sin, says Vatican
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - The Vatican felt compelled on Tuesday to deny that Pope Francis had "abolished sin", after a well-known Italian intellectual wrote that he had effectively done so through his words and gestures.
The singular exchange began on Sunday when Eugenio Scalfari, an atheist who writes opinion pieces for the left-leaning La Repubblica newspaper, published an article titled "Francis' Revolution: He has abolished sin".
Scalfari, who held a long private conversation with the pope earlier this year and wrote about it several times, concluded in the complex, treatise-like article that Francis believed sin effectively no longer existed because God's mercy and forgiveness were "eternal".
Vatican spokesman Father Federico Lombardi told Vatican Radio that "this affirmation that the pope has abolished sin" was wrong.
"Those who really follow the pope daily know how many times he has spoken about sin and our (human) condition as sinners," Lombardi said.
January 03, 2014
It's a cold, cruel world
Missouri man says he robbed store to return to prison
ST. JOSEPH, Mo. • A Missouri man says he meant to get caught in November when he tried to rob a St. Joseph convenience store.
When the man asked the clerk to open the cash register and give him the money, the clerk refused — even after Roy Murphy, 43, offered to put on the camouflage ski mask he was carrying.
The St. Joseph News-Press reports Murphy was prepared to plead guilty Monday to second-degree robbery. But Circuit Judge Patrick Robb told him there was no threat of physical force, so he couldn't convict Murphy of the charge.
Murphy told the judge he doesn't know how to make it outside of prison and wanted to go back.
January 02, 2014
I'll bet the Gideons never expected this
Two charged with battery following fight over Bible, Ten Commandments
CARTERSVILLE, Ga., Dec. 29 (UPI) -- A man and a woman were arrested for battery following a fight over the Bible and the Ten Commandments, Georgia police said.
The fight occurred at 1 a.m. Saturday morning in a hotel room in Cartersville.
When the police officer entered the motel room, he saw blood on the carpet and a bloody towel in the sink, the police report states.
Carolyn Unfricht, one of the detainees, told the officer that the conversation had become tense, and that she used a Bible to hit Daniel Camarda across the face, the Atlanta Journal-Constitution reported.
Camarda then allegedly slung Unfricht across the room, and she suffered a cut to her head and an injury to her foot.
Both individuals were highly intoxicated, were slurring their speech and had difficulty walking, police said.
January 01, 2014
When your knickers get in a twist...
I shudder to think what Japanese game shows will do with this.
Knickers are downloaded as couple produce underwear on 3D printer
Mornings when you cannot find a pair of clean pants could be a thing of the past thanks to an Israeli couple whose revolutionary technology makes it possible to download a pair of new knickers through 3D printing.
Tami and Udi Giloh have developed a woven fabric created on a hi-tech printer, and are in discussions with suppliers to lingerie retailer Victoria's Secret over a possible marketing deal.
The couple moved to north Manchester from Israel to develop the technology through their company Tamicare, and claim to be able to print a pair of knickers in three seconds, potentially producing 10 million pairs in a year.
December 31, 2013
Giant potato ready to drop in downtown Boise on New Year's Eve
BOISE -- New York is preparing for the big New Year's Eve celebration in Times Square.
In Boise, it's going to be a unique New Year's Eve celebration as organizers get ready for the Idaho Potato Drop.
As the clock counts down to midnight, the glowing 16-foot long potato will be lowered from the U.S. Bank building in downtown Boise.
December 30, 2013
You deserve a break today
McDonald's employee site bashes fast food
McDonald's employee resources website once again is giving out worker advice that doesn't seem to fit. This time, it's about the industry it helped make ubiquitous — fast food.
"Fast foods are quick, reasonably priced, and readily available alternatives to home cooking. While convenient and economical for a busy lifestyle, fast foods are typically high in calories, fat, saturated fat, sugar, and salt and may put people at risk for becoming overweight," reads one post on the site, which includes a picture of a hamburger and fries, two items that the fast-food giant specializes in selling.
Another post labels a meal with a cheeseburger and fries as the "unhealthy choice" and one with a submarine sandwich and salad as the "healthier choice," noting that it's more of a challenge to eat healthy when visiting a fast-food place.
A separate post writes, "it is hard to eat a healthy diet when you eat at fast-food restaurants often," adding that large portions make it easy to overeat.
H.T. Jeff G
December 27, 2013
Criminal master minds (4)
Bungling burglar left dangling upside down with head on toilet, Hull Crown Court hears
A BUNGLING burglar was left dangling upside down with his head on a toilet for more than an hour-and-half after getting stuck in a bathroom window.
Daniel Severn, 27, dropped his mobile phone in the bath during the attempted break-in, so was unable to call for help.
The owner of the house woke up, ready to go to work, only to find Severn hanging over his toilet.
Severn, who was wearing Marigold gloves and had a bag for his loot and a knife on him, said: "Please help. Call the police."
December 24, 2013
An early Christmas gift
Driver flung 50 feet off overpass in Revere crash, survives
James Fay got 'Christmas present early,' trooper says
REVERE, Mass. —A driver is lucky to be alive Thursday after falling 50 feet when he was ejected from his SUV in a crash in Revere.
James Fay was driving home for lunch when his SUV crashed at Copeland Circle, which is Route 1 North, in Revere.
According to police, as Fay's SUV rolled over he was thrown out of the sunroof and fell approximately 50 feet from the overpass, landing in the snow below.
"He was conscious, alert, he was talking. And the State Police on scene told us that he had been walking around prior to that," said Lt. William Brown, a Revere EMT.
"That's definitely a miracle. You might even call it a Christmas miracle," said Fay's friend, Will Teleau.
December 23, 2013
Ho, ho, ho and No, no, no
Drunk Santa and tipsy helper crash sleigh
A drunk Santa and his pie-eyed helper are both in hospital after falling out of their sleigh during a tipsy ride down a busy high street.
The 51-year-old Father Christmas and his 31-year-old female helper had been singing Xmas carols and waving at locals as they trotted down the busy street in Ustrzykach Dolnych, Poland, when a passing car beeped them, scaring the horse which reared up sending them flying into the road.
Passerby Zdzislaw Molodynski who captured the scene on camera said: "It was quite extraordinary.
"They were supposed to have been an attraction at the local market and lots of people were taking their children there to go and see them.
"But instead they saw these two, who were clearly under the influence, behaving like they had just come out of a nightclub or something.
"Then a car started beeping them which threw the horse into a panic.
"It reared up and sent them smashing into the wall on the corner of the street.
"It was a mixture of 'Ho, ho, ho' and 'No, no, no'," he said.
December 22, 2013
If you're planning to travel by air today, consider just staying home and stabbing yourself repeatedly in the eyeball with a fork.
December 21, 2013
But could he parallel park?
If you made this stuff up nobody would believe you.
Cops: Man Arrested For DWI After Showing Up Drunk To Motor Vehicle Test
A New Jersey man is facing a drunk driving charge after allegedly attempting to take a motor vehicle test while intoxicated, according to cops.
Stephen Goss, 53, was arrested last week at a Motor Vehicle Commission office when a state instructor detected "a strong odor of an alcoholic beverage emanating" from his breath, according to a Randolph Township Police Department statement.
After cops were summoned, Goss underwent a field sobriety test, which indicated that he was impaired. A subsequent Breathalyzer test recorded his blood alcohol content at .13, well over the .08 legal limit.
December 20, 2013
Largest Gingerbread Village?
News from Norway
'My gingerbread village is bigger than yours'
A battle has broken out between Bergen and New York over which city has constructed the world's largest gingerbread village.
On 17 November, a 135-house village constructed in Queen's, New York, was officially named "the world's largest gingerbread village" by the Guinness Book of Records.
But Bergen on Tuesday unveiled a village more than ten times as big, with no fewer than 1,990 trains and buildings spread out over 380 square meters.
"Once again we have the record. It's just totally amazing, we simply have the largest, most beautiful and best gingerbread city in the universe," Steinar Kristoffersen, who leads the city's 'Pepperkakebyen' project said at the opening.
New York immediately rebutted the claim, however, arguing that Bergen falls short on important technicalities.
Largest Gingerbread House
Gingerbread-covered house would be a more accurate description.
Texas lays claim to the world's largest gingerbread house
Living up to its reputation of largeness, the state of Texas has now become home to the world's largest gingerbread house. Located at the Traditions Golf Club in the city of Bryan, the larger-than-life gingerbread house measures 39,201.8 cubic feet (1,110.1 cubic meters) and officially holds the new Guinness World Record. This defeats the record previously held by the Mall of America in Bloomington, Minnesota, with its 36,600 cubic foot (1,036.4 cubic meter) gingerbread house.
1 of 13 images
December 19, 2013
What's in a name? (5)
Colt .45 Stratemeyer
Colt .45 Stratemeyer was born Nov. 26, 2013 at Tillamook Regional Medical Center. He weighed seven pounds, two ounces. He joins his older brother, Hunter Allen Stratemeyer, 3.
Baby Colt’s parents are Joshua and Rebekah Stratemeyer of Toledo.
December 18, 2013
The more, the merrier
Maryland woman packs whopping 277 Christmas trees inside her home
Christmas is a huge deal in this Maryland home, whose owners have decorated it with an astonishing 277 trees.
Two decades of fierce sibling rivalry with her Oklahoma-based sister has led Renetta Zanco to stuff her Lothian house full of the festive plants.
And with 28 in the bathroom alone, including one made out of toilet roll, she thinks she's got this year's competition well and truly sewn up.
"I've got her beat now," she told My Fox DC.
December 14, 2013
Snow in Cairo?
I'm trying to picture Cairo drivers in snow... It's not pretty.
Snow in Cairo for the first time in 112 years
WHEN you think Cairo you think heat and sand.
But something unusual happened there overnight - it snowed!
According to local reports it's the first time snow has fallen in the Egyptian capital in 112 years.
Incredible pictures show the normally sweltering city coated in white.
Egyptians took to Twitter to post their amazement in words and pictures.
The Egyptian Meteorological Authority warned on Wednesday the unusual weather will drive down temperatures to between 5 and 15 Celsius.
Snow was reported on Mt. Sinai and Saint Catherine's monastery at the base of the mountain.
A powerful winter storm is affecting parts of the Middle East.
Sections of Israel saw heavy snow up to about a metre.
Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat told The Times of Israel, "We're facing a rare storm the likes of which we've never seen."
December 13, 2013
A Craigslist ad in Seattle.
You farted in Pike Place Market - m4w - 30 (Seattle)
You were the hot brunette with curves that farted near the produce this weekend. I was the tall guy next to you that looked over and asked, "Was that you?" You quickly replied "No... Wasn't me!" You almost seemed insulted I would ask. As the stink grew you continued to deny your flatulence, but it was evident. I tried to get rid of the stench by waving a couple loafs of bread from La Panier. You proceeded to storm off in an angry manner. You are beautiful and even though you are a liar and fart like a Clydesdale, I would love to meet up for a drink sometime.
December 10, 2013
And what an unusual gift it will make
Michael writes that he found this while 'cruising around looking for presents.'
No foolin' - Unicorn meat is real!
Excellent source of sparkles!
Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go. What you don't know is that when unicorns reach the end of their lifespan, they are drawn to County Meath, Ireland. The Sisters at Radiant Farms have dedicated their lives to nursing these elegant creatures through their final days. Taking a cue from the Kobe beef industry, they massage each unicorn's coat with Guinness daily and fatten them on a diet comprised entirely of candy corn. As the unicorn ages, its meat becomes fatty and marbled and the living bone in the horn loses density in a process much like osteoporosis. The horn's outer layer of keratin begins to develop a flavor very similar to candied almonds. Blending the crushed unicorn horn into the meat adds delightful, crispy flavor notes in each bite. We are confident you will find a world of bewilderment in every mouthful of scrumptious unicorn meat.
December 09, 2013
All's well that ends well
Ore. man learns driving tank harder than it looks
GOLD BEACH, Ore. (AP) — Sometimes an owner's manual is not enough.
Oregon State Police say that's what a 58-year-old man learned when he tried to drive a 50-ton battle tank up a steep grade near the coastal town of Gold Beach.
The Oregonian reports that the 1969 Chieftain had been purchased by a local resident, but a truck driver transporting the tank was unable to climb the grade. So he unloaded it at a turnout along U.S. Highway 101.
The owner's caretaker, Jeffrey Glossop of Pistol River, decided he could get the tank up the hill.
State Police Lt. Gregg Hastings notes that Glossop had the operator's manual.
But Hastings says the tank slipped out of gear and rolled back down across the busy highway, crashing through a guardrail. [...]
Glossop was cited for reckless driving and first-degree criminal mischief.
Hastings says the tank is fine.
December 07, 2013
It's not the heat...
'Stupidity ran deep' during 'stab-proof' vest demonstration
EDMONTON - A young Edmonton man who grievously wounded his friend while testing a supposedly "stab-proof" vest was sentenced to six months in jail Tuesday.
Court heard that Justin Harder, 18, was bragging to his friend Calvin Wesley Clackson, 21 about a "stab-proof" vest he'd just acquired as they hung out in an apartment suite at 106th Avenue and 116th Street, Crown prosecutor Mark Huyser-Wierenga told court.
Harder was so confident in the vest that night in October 2012 that he believed it would deflect any attack with a knife. Harder eagerly invited his friend to stab him in the chest to prove the vest worked.
"Mr. Clackson foolishly obliged him," Huyser-Wierenga said.
December 06, 2013
This is news?
Cats Recognize Their Owner's Voice But Choose to Ignore It
Cats, according to new research, recognize their owner's voice. They just can't be bothered to react to it.
Researchers in Japan arrived at this conclusion after performing experiments with twenty house cats. They played recordings of the cats' owners' calling to their pets in whatever cat-talk voice they typically used. They also played recordings of three strangers calling to the cats, using the same words.
To quantify the cats' reactions, the researchers recorded how often cats moved their head, tail, paws or ears, or whether they meowed or dilated their pupils. While the cats showed a significantly greater response to their owners calling their names than to strangers doing so, they did not bother to get up in either instance, the researchers found.
(And cats don't have 'owners'.)
December 05, 2013
Good morning! (3)
Tennessee McDonald's serves couple paper bag full of cash instead of breakfast
McDonald's? They're LOVIN' it!
A couple rocked up at a Tennessee drive-thru to pick up a breakfast snack — and ended up being handed a paper bag stuffed full of cash.
Greg and Stacye Terry couldn't believe their eyes when they returned home and found bill-brimmed pouch.
But the honest couple headed straight back to hand in the loot.
Turns out, bumbling workers left thousands of dollars destined for the bank in a bag on a counter.
A staffer then mistakenly picked up the money instead of the customers' grub.
December 04, 2013
Condoms of Tomorrow
Vacuum cleaners, eh?
Condom Contest Produces 812 Ideas for Improvement
The condom of the future might be made of cow tendon or fish skin. It might have "shape memory" to instantly mold to a specific man. Or it might come with pull tabs so a man could slip it on with little fuss.
Those ideas are among the winners announced Wednesday by the Bill & Melinda Gates Foundation of a contest to create a condom that men would actually use. The contest, the foundation said, aimed to decrease unintended pregnancies and sexually transmitted diseases with "a next-generation condom that significantly preserves or enhances pleasure."
The foundation received 812 applications, chose 11 and awarded the winners $100,000 each. They could receive up to $1 million after they develop the ideas. Steven Buchsbaum, a Gates Foundation official, said winners ranged from a longtime condom manufacturer in India to American chemical engineers to British design consultants whose previous work included vacuum cleaners.
November 29, 2013
A man with a mission
Bless his heart.
Israeli restaurant: Turn off phone, get discount
ABU GHOSH, Israel (AP) - A restaurant owner in an Arab village outside of Jerusalem says he is on a mission to save culinary culture by making diners a simple offer: Turn off your cellphone and get a 50 percent discount.
Jawdat Ibrahim says smartphones have destroyed the modern dining experience. He hopes the generous discount will bring back a more innocent time when going to a restaurant was about companionship, conversation and appreciating the food, rather than surfing, texting or talking to the office.
"I'm changing something. It might be something small, but maybe in some small way I'll be changing the culture of eating," said Ibrahim, 49.
November 26, 2013
Which is worse?
McDonald's restaurant turns to opera to drive out loitering teenagers
A McDonald's outlet in Australia has begun playing classical musical and opera late at night to deter young people from loitering around the restaurant.
Fed up with their outlet's nocturnal transformation into an unofficial youth club, the store adopted the tactic a few weeks ago and says it has significantly reduced the number of loiterers, particularly around the car park. The strategy has reportedly been tried before by a local council at a car park in Australia, though previous efforts involved blaring songs by Barry Manilow.
Matthew Watson, the operations manager at the Mt Annan McDonald's on the outskirts of Sydney, said the music had been a successful deterrent.
November 25, 2013
You can rest easy in Montana
Sack of potatoes subdued without incident
You couldn't make this stuff up! A Kalispell Police officer and a Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks officer were able to remove a five-pound sack of potatoes reported hanging from a tree on Seventh Street East that looked like it might fall into the street. Apparently, the potatoes were subdued without causing any mayhem.
November 22, 2013
They "forgot"... twice
I used to hear stories like this when my children were teens.
Utah town forgets to hold election
A Utah town set the gold standard for election mismanagement this month when it simply forgot to hold an election.
The town of Wallsburg, Utah, was meant to elect a new mayor and city council on November 5. But, the Salt Lake Tribune reported, the person in charge of running the election forgot to make the necessary preparations, like letting people know that the filing period for candidates had opened, and printing ballots.
By the time the mistake was realized, it was too close to the day that was supposed to be election day to remedy the situation. [...]
This is the second cycle in a row that the town has forgotten to hold an election.
November 21, 2013
Honda's "Hydrogen Boy" pees his way to a cleaner world
TOKYO: A little boy urinating might not easily conjure up images of a cleaner world, but Honda had other ideas on Thursday as it tries to promote its green-car technology.
The Japanese firm erected a two-metre (6.6 foot) replica of famous Brussels landmark Manneken Pis -- the bronze statue of a boy peeing into a fountain -- for its display at the Tokyo Motor Show.
The not-so-little plastic "Piss Boy", as the famous statue is known in Japan, was meant to show how the company's fuel-cell technology works, and along with the hydrogen tank strapped to his back it has been appropriately named "Hydrogen Boy".
"When hydrogen and oxygen go into a fuel cell, they react chemically and generate power," the boy's recorded voice tells passersby in Japanese, his eyes flashing as he urinates into a pool below.
"But only water comes out. Dribble, dribble."
November 20, 2013
A little unclear on the concept
Till death do us part: Couple create gruesome wedding cake made of their own bloody severed heads
A film buff couple had a gruesome wedding cake made of their own severed heads.
Natalie Sideserf, 28, a cake artist spent forty hours creating the cake to match her movie-themed wedding.
Both heads are lifelike, with blank soulless eyes, hair matted with blood and bleeding severed necks.
They were placed on a white board, with a banner draped on the base aptly reading: 'Til Death Do Us Part.'
She said they chose it because her husband David Sideserf, 30, is a fan of scary movies.
'We were watching a horror movie, and I was always interested in sculpting lifelike cakes, especially in the face, so I thought, "How neat would it be if I did our severed heads?’" Mrs Sideserf said.
November 18, 2013
Because we said so, that's why
World-famous Swedish ice hotel is ordered to install smoke alarms
A world-famous hotel in Sweden has been ordered to install fire alarms despite being constructed entirely of ice.
ICEHOTEL, which is located in the north Swedish town of Jukkasjarvi, is rebuilt every winter after it melts in the spring. It is constructed purely from ice including all furniture and appliances.
Despite this the owners of the hotel were told they could not continue construction of the building until at least one detector was installed on the premises. [...]
Bizarrely soon after the alarm was installed it was triggered, reportedly by a guest smoking in a cleaning closet.
November 15, 2013
I'll drink to that (2)
Beer as good as therapy for some: health boss
One of Germany's most powerful healthcare officials has made waves by saying that some psychological problems could be treated as well with a beer as with therapy.
Josef Hecken is chairman of the Federal Joint Committee (GBA), the body which decides what treatments are offered by the statutory health system.
Generally GBA meetings are dry, specialist affairs, where representatives from doctors' associations, statutory health insurers and hospitals discuss what treatments are effective for patients and value for money.
But eyebrows were raised when Hecken recently declared that not "every second" person needed psychotherapy - and that a beer would sometimes do the job. The Tagesspiegel newspaper reported that the comment was recorded in official notes of the meeting.
Hecken made the remark during a debate over calls for more psychotherapists to be included in statutory healthcare provision.
November 13, 2013
Seattle Food Company Releases Bacon-Scented Deodorant
America loves bacon, that is indisputable, but now a Seattle-based firm has taken that affection to pungent new levels.
J&D's Foods, a specialty foods company, has announced its latest product — a gel deodorant that smells like bacon. They call it "Power Bacon," and it goes on sale today.
On its website, the company recommends the product for active bacon lovers or those who "just sweat like pigs."
"It's not really a deodorant, it's an odorant," J&D's owner Justin Esch told ABC News. "It's a strong meat-scented musk that comes off your body."
November 12, 2013
Times are tough all over
I had no idea that French schools were only used four days a week.
French fight making Wednesday a school day
f you think Wednesday's child is full of woe, as the old nursery rhyme has it, try Wednesday's parents.
Parents like Eric and Isabelle Nizard, who are angry over a sinister social experiment being conducted on their 9-year-old son, Sacha. It's the latest innovation in French public education: Their child must now attend school on Wednesdays.
Beginning in September, hump day is no longer an official day off, a traditional oasis in the middle of the week for primary school students to rest from the rigors of academic pursuit. Instead, French children — who, like their parents, already enjoy longer lunch breaks and summer vacations than their counterparts in many other countries — have to show up for class Monday through Friday.
November 11, 2013
Gee thanks, Mom
Alleged burglar left phone at victim's house, deputies speak to mom
LAKE WORTH, Fla., Nov. 6 (UPI) -- Police in Florida said a burglary suspect was identified when he allegedly left his cellphone at the scene and his mom called while police were investigating.
The Palm Beach County Sheriff's Office said deputies were at the scene of a burglary Thursday in Lake Worth when a phone apparently left behind by the burglar began ringing and the phone's screen identified the caller as "Mom," the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Wednesday.
A deputy answered the phone and the woman gave her son's name as Derek Codd, 19.
November 09, 2013
A sobering experience, I'm sure
Reveller wakes up in morgue body bag after big night out
A drunk had a sobering experience after he was sent to a morgue by paramedics who thought he was dead.
Marek Michalski, 56, was found passed out on a bench without a pulse in Piotrkow, Poland, before concerned members of the public called an ambulance.
Hours later he awoke in a body bag and screamed for help. He managed to roll the bag off the table before escaping.
'I remember sitting on a bench and the next thing I woke up in a morgue,' he told local media.
November 07, 2013
Mannequin Design For Dummies
The picture at the link is pretty amusing.
Curvy mannequins shape a Venezuelan fantasy
VALENCIA, Venezuela — Frustrated with the modest sales at his small mannequin factory, Eliezer Álvarez made a simple observation: Venezuelan women were increasingly using plastic surgery to transform their bodies, yet the mannequins in clothing stores did not reflect these new, often extreme proportions.
So he went back to his workshop and created the kind of woman he thought the public wanted — one with a bulging bosom and cantilevered buttocks, a wasp waist and long legs, a fiberglass fantasy, Venezuelan style.
The shape was augmented, and so were sales. Now his mannequins, and others like them, have become the standard in stores across Venezuela [...]
November 06, 2013
I think this has been done somewhere else in Europe also.
Giant mirrors bring winter sunlight to Norwegian village nestled in the mountains
OSLO (AFP) -- Residents of a remote village nestled in a steep-sided valley in southern Norway are about to enjoy winter sunlight for the first time ever, all thanks to giant mirrors.
The mountains that surround the village of Rjukan are far from Himalayan, but they are high enough to deprive its 3,500 inhabitants of direct sunlight for six months a year.
That was before a century-old idea, as old as Rjukan itself, was brought to life: to install mirrors on a 400-metre high peak to deflect sunrays towards the central square.
"The idea was a little crazy, but madness is our middle name," said Oeystein Haugan, a local project coordinator.
"When Rjukan was founded, it was a bit crazy to start a community in the middle of nowhere with this massive hydroelectric plant, huge pipes and a railway line to transport fertiliser to the rest of the world," he added.
November 05, 2013
Gashouse Gang is back
This happened during the World Series last week,
Gas levels traced to photographers, naturally
The sight of St. Louis Fire Chief Dennis Jenkerson standing vigilant behind home plate begged the question: Is there a problem?
"Some years ago, we installed chemical and gas detectors around the stadium," Jenkerson said. "Well, some readings earlier showed that we were getting higher-than normal levels of methane."
"We figured out they were coming specifically from the photographer's pit" along the third base line," he said.
"So we walked down there and asked the guys 'How many of you were at White Castle or Courtesy diner last night?'"
"Yeah" the chief said. "It happens."
October 31, 2013
Another one who deserves a trick or two
The Flaming Bag trick sounds like a good idea.
Teen Shot While Toilet Papering Principal's House
FRANKLIN COUNTY, Tenn. – An Estill Springs man is out on $125,00 bond after police say he fired a shotgun at teens who were toilet papering their principal's yard. 65-year-old Dale Bryant Farris is accused of firing at least two shots, striking a 15-year-old boy in the right foot, inner left knee, right palm, right thigh and right side of his torso above the waistline.
Franklin County Sheriff's Office spokesman Sgt. Chris Guess said the boy "got peppered pretty good." With regards to the suspect, Guess had this to say: "The problem is they were not on his property and they were not doing anything to his property. Some kids got out at a residence over there to roll it with toilet paper and this gentleman came out of his residence a couple of houses over and shot one of the teenagers who was rolling this other guy's yard."
According to Guess, the "other guy" was Huntland School Principal Ken Bishop, who does not plan to file charges against the teens.
October 30, 2013
Sounds like she deserves a trick or two
Woman to give 'obese' children letters, no candy
A Fargo, N.D., woman says she will give trick-or-treaters that she deems "moderately obese" a letter instead of candy this Halloween.
"I just want to send a message to the parents of kids that are really overweight. ... I think it's just really irresponsible of parents to send them out looking for free candy just 'cause all the other kids are doing it," the woman said in a morning radio interview with Y94. She wouldn't identify herself.
The letter states: "You child is, in my opinion, moderately obese and should not be consuming sugar and treats to the extent of some children this Halloween season."
It continues: "My hope is that you will step up as a parent and ration candy this Halloween and not allow your child to continue these unhealthy eating habits."
October 24, 2013
You've seen one, you've seen 'em all
Granddad picks up wrong kid from school
An elementary school in Britain has apologized after handing over the wrong girl to a short-sighted grandfather for a trip to the doctor.
The 6-year-old girl shares the same first name as the man's granddaughter and is in the same grade, according to The Guardian.
She took the bus with the 74-year-old man to a doctor's office in Kent, where she was prescribed Acetaminophen, before being dropped back off at class.
The girl's parents only heard about the incident when she came home and showed the medicine to her mother.
October 23, 2013
Pint-sized beer glasses
Bill would require each beer pint have 16 ounces
Some Michigan lawmakers are working to make sure a pint of beer is really a pint of beer.
A bill introduced last week would amend the Liquor Control Act to require each pint of beer have at least 16 ounces. It would make it an offense to "advertise or sell any glass of beer as a pint in this state unless that glass contains at least 16 ounces of beer."
Rep. Brandon Dillon, R-Grand Rapids and a co-sponsor of the bill, said short pints aren't the most pressing issue facing Michigan or its Legislature. But, he said, "a lot of people, I think, would appreciate knowing what they get when they order a pint."
Self-employed plumber Gary Lord of Lansing is among them.
Lord said he has been in a few taverns where the pint glasses didn't appear to hold what they advertised.
"A pint should be a pint, and a U.S. pint to the best of my knowledge has 16 ounces," Lord told the Detroit Free Press at a Lansing bar on Friday.
Some pint-style beer glasses with thicker bottoms hold as little as 12 to 14 ounces.
October 22, 2013
She must be Russian
A pint of vodka at age 55?!
Billings woman charged with DUI No. 4
A Billings woman accused of calling police and saying she was "just too damn drunk" to get out of her vehicle was charged Wednesday with her fourth drunken-driving offense. [...]
Omeara was arrested Tuesday at about 10:40 p.m. after a police dispatcher received a call from a woman who said she could not get out of her vehicle, which was parked outside her residence on South 29th Street.
"When asked if she was having a medical or mechanical issue, the caller said, `No, I'm just too damn drunk,'" court records state.
An officer said he found Omeara inside the vehicle, which was parked about two feet from the curb. The woman reportedly told the officer she had been at a Billings bar for about five hours, had driven home but had been sitting in her car in front of her home for about four hours.
Prosecutors said Omeara told the officer she had consumed a pint of vodka.
October 21, 2013
The more things change...
...the more they stay insane.
Q&A: The Women Who Write Dinosaur Erotica
Alara Branwen and Christie Sims met in the dorms at Texas A&M. Alara worked at a supermarket and Christie worked as a tutor — until they discovered how lucrative erotic fiction about women having sex with dinosaurs could be. After e-book titles like Taken By the T-Rex and Ravished by the Triceratops drew attention from Jezebel, E!, and the Daily Mail, we e-mailed the duo to ask how they're holding up, and how two Texan girls in their early twenties got into dinosaur porn.
With Alara at the keyboard ("Christie made me do it because she is too lazy"), the college students explained. [...]
Are Alara Branwen and Christie Sims your real names?
No, those are just our pen names. Do you honestly think we would publish the crazy stuff we write under our own names?
Via Clayton Cramer
October 18, 2013
Japanese company unveils "Nyan Nyan Nouveau" red wine for cats
Cats have been working on us humans for years now, using the internet to their advantage and doing whatever it takes to look adorable. And now it seems they've taken a significant step towards their ultimate goal of world domination: a Japanese company has manufactured wine especially for felines.
Earlier today, pet food and supplement maker B&H Lifes launched its newest product, Nyan Nyan Nouveau ("meow Nouveau"), announcing the good news via press release.
October 17, 2013
When you gotta go...
And with a passenger, no less.
There's speeding, and then there's this Illinois motorcycle driver
PEKIN, Ill. • A motorcyclist who authorities say was driving his bike at speeds that reached 140 mph told central Illinois police he was rushing because he needed to use the bathroom.
The Pekin Daily Times reports Adam Lester was arrested Tuesday night after a Pekin officer clocked him going more than two-and-a-half times the speed limit over a Tazewell County bridge.
October 16, 2013
There's midget pron?
Dwarf porn bandits nabbed
A MAN has been indicted for a mobile home burglary that netted him an assortment of midget pornography DVDs. [...]
Investigators allege that Sergio Seanez, 18, and a teenage boy broke into the Chaparral residence last month and swiped electronics, kitchen appliances, and furniture. Seanez then allegedly set fire to the home.
In addition to the normal haul associated with a burglary, Seanez and his 17-year-old accomplice also made off with "multiple DVD's relating to Midget Pornography," according to a criminal complaint, The Smoking Gun reports.
October 14, 2013
Good news for Mr. Blagojevich
Governor Bars State From Asking Job Applicants About Felony Records
(CBS) — Illinoisans with a felony on their records will no longer be asked about their criminal past when they apply for state jobs.
Promoting the decision to what he calls “Ban the Box,” State Rep. LaShawn K. Ford (D-Chicago) says the governor’s administrative order doesn’t mean private employers will be required to hire ex-cons. It simply means applications for state government jobs will no longer include a box indicating whether an applicant has pled guilty, or been convicted of a criminal offense, other than a minor traffic violation.
State agencies would still be allowed to conduct background checks, and request information on criminal convictions, but not until later in the process.
October 10, 2013
The snippet below doesn't do justice to this article from The Daily Cricket. You really need to read the whole thing because it gets more bizarre as it goes on. (I believe the towns of Canton and Foxboro are the ones in Massachusetts.)
Police Stop Leads To Bizarre Arrest
Three people remain in custody after being arrested on Saturday morning following a traffic stop in Canton. In what was described by Lt. Paul Sullivan as "the most bizarre traffic stop" that he has seen in his 23 years on the force, Canton police responded to a report of a disabled vehicle traveling on Route 95. They came across the vehicle shortly after 2 a.m. traveling in the high-speed lane on the southbound side.
"We spotted the green Hyundai Elantra traveling at approximately five miles-per-hour in the passing lane with a huge shower of sparks coming from the rear of the vehicle. As we got closer we noticed that the rear end of the vehicle was dragging on the ground due to the fact that there were no rear tires or axle on the vehicle," said Lt. Sullivan of the Canton Police. "After the vehicle pulled over, we approached it and found that the driver was not only drinking a can of beer, but that he was not wearing any pants and that he had urinated on himself."
After not one, but two, brief foot chases, Francis Fasher, 45, of Foxboro, was placed under arrest.
H.T. Ms. M
October 09, 2013
Forced at gun point
Man accused of faking kidnapping to party with friends
All Rogelio Andaverde wanted was to get out of the house and have a few beers with his buddies.
So Tuesday afternoon, the 34-year-old Edinburg man created an excuse to sneak away: He staged his own kidnapping.
According to a release from the Hildalgo County Sheriff's Office, Andaverde was with his wife, Maria Hernandez, in their home off F.M. 2812 in rural Northeast Edinburg when about 10:30 p.m. two men wearing masks and toting guns forced their way inside — and made off with Andaverde.
Sheriff Guadalupe Trevino said Hernandez called authorities right away, "petrified" after seeing what she thought was her husband's abduction. [...]
Mid-morning on Thursday, Andaverde returned home, telling his wife he'd been released.
A follow-up investigation revealed he had staged the kidnapping to "spend time with his friends and party."
October 04, 2013
It's a bird, it's a plane, it's...
Attempt to fly phone into prison on pigeon fails
A woman's attempt to fly a mobile phone into a prison on the back of a pigeon failed when the exhausted bird collapsed just after clearing the jail walls.
Cristielli Mansa, 21, had attempted to send the device to her boyfriend, Wagner Machado Rodrigues, 19, who had been arrested for drug trafficking.
Unfortunately for the pair, the pigeon cleared the three-metre high wall of the Central Prison in Porto Alegre, Brazil, but then fell right in front of a patrolling prison officer's verhicle.
October 03, 2013
Chinese tourists warned not to pick noses or urinate in public
As an increasing number of Chinese people travel abroad, the Chinese authorities have issued instructions how to be "civilized" tourists, with an illustrated list of dos and don'ts to ensure tourists don't give the country a bad name.
China's National Tourism Administration have publicized a 64-page guidebook on their website, entitled "Guidebook for Civilized Tourism," advising Chinese nationals not to pick their noses in public, urinate in pools or steal airplane life jackets, according to a report by news agency AFP on Wednesday.
October 02, 2013
Step away from the dryer!
Man Arrested For "Laundry Rage" Attack On Retiree
SEPTEMBER 26--In a violent episode of laundry rage, a Florida man twice shoved a 75-year-old victim to the ground and stomped on him after the senior citizen had the temerity to try and put his clothes in a dryer that the attacker claimed was his, police allege.
The confrontation earlier this month at the Super Matt Laundry in Fort Myers resulted in last night's arrest of Kenneth Wood, 55, for felony battery on a person 65 years or older. Wood, seen in the adjacent mug shot, is locked up in lieu of $150,500 bond.
October 01, 2013
So to speak...
Businessman's hands full with bra bid
West Cork businessman Sean Murray, whose Skibbereen shop houses the region's largest lingerie department, has issued an appeal for at least 70 women — or men — to flock to his store on Saturday, Oct 26, to let him pop open their bras in a record-breaking bid for a cancer charity.
He will have to display deft fingerwork using just one hand to unclasp more than 69 bras in 60 seconds if he is to break Dutch-man Dennis Storm's 2012 record.
He is practising on mannequins to ensure he will be at his breast on the day. "Now that word is out about this, the pressure is on to break the record, which will be tough but I am ready to give it a go," Mr Murray said.
September 30, 2013
There are marshmallow-launching devices?
San Diego nixes annual marshmallow fight
SAN DIEGO, Sept. 26 (UPI) -- City officials in San Diego said the annual July 4 marshmallow fight will no longer be allowed in the Ocean Beach neighborhood.
The neighborhood's town council passed a resolution Wednesday requesting San Diego police prevent the annual event by enforcing laws against littering and use of harmful objects, KSWB-TV, San Diego, reported Thursday.
Officials are also asking local businesses not to promote the event by selling marshmallows, marshmallow-launching devices and paraphernalia.
September 27, 2013
And what a day the patient had
Florida man steals ambulance with patient still inside
PHILADELPHIA (CBS) - A suspect from Florida is facing kidnapping charges in Philadelphia after police say he carjacked an ambulance at gunpoint with a patient inside.
"It was pretty scary. He was weaving in and out of traffic, on a blowout tire riding on that rim. I thought he was going to flip over," eyewitness Brian Perkins said.
The incident started on the Schuylkill Expressway just before 3 p.m. Friday afternoon.
Pennsylvania State Police say 25-year-old Brian Timothy Kada Jr., of Philadelphia, walked onto the westbound side of the expressway near Girard Avenue while the ambulance was transporting a patient. Police say Kada pointed a gun at the two operators stuck in rush hour traffic and jumped into the passenger side.
September 25, 2013
Like socks on a rooster
Diapers For Chickens -- No Kidding!
The economy has created a surge in the number of people engaged in urban farming. This has led to an increase in the number of people keeping chickens to lay eggs. Many of these chickens have made their way into the hearts of their owners -- and from there into the house. This has, in turn, led to the creation that would have shocked our farming forebears -- the chicken diaper.
It is one of those items that you never thought you would ever hear of, but for people who love their chickens it is a godsend. That's not all! You can also buy a chicken saddle. Wait! What? Yes indeed. While the diapers are to protect your home from the chickens, the saddle is to protect the hen from the roosters.
Video of a chicken being fitted with a diaper.
Via The Presurfer
September 24, 2013
The knickers cop
Cops: Professor Filmed Student "Upskirt" Videos
SEPTEMBER 23--A college professor who used a camera pen to secretly film under the clothing of two students explained to police that he was attempting to gather evidence that one of the women "was not wearing undergarments," which he thought was "inappropriate," according to a police report.
That explanation, however, did not keep cops from arresting Don Samuelson, 65, on a pair of felony video voyeurism counts. Samuelson, who teaches at the University of Florida's College of Veterinary Medicine, allegedly victimized the two students on four separate occasions this year.
One of the victims "became aware of the videotaping" as it occurred about three weeks ago, noted investigators in a University of Florida Police Department report. During a subsequent search of Samuelson's office earlier this month, cops recovered the camera pen, which had an integrated USB thumb drive.
September 23, 2013
I'm sure she'd have been happier without the editorial comment.
Officials: Miss Uzbekistan a fraud
TASHKENT, Uzbekistan, Sept. 19 (UPI) -- The Uzbekistani government says the Miss World contestant competing as Miss Uzbekistan is nothing but a beautiful liar.
Officials with the Uzbek Culture and Sports Ministry and the national committee on women told Radio Free Europe/Radio Liberty that Rakhima Ganieva, 18, who is entered to compete in this month's Miss World competition in Indonesia, was not dubbed Miss Uzbekistan in a July 20 competition as she claims in a video, ABC News reported Thursday.
A representative of the Pro Models modeling agency, which once represented Ganieva, accused her of "choosing to build a career on lies."
"Rakhima Ganieva never passed through any special selection process in Uzbekistan," said Zhavlon Komolov of Pro Models. "If there had been a process to choose a young lady for this competition, I can assure you that a much more beautiful model would have been chosen."
September 20, 2013
Offensive phrases on bottle caps prompt Coca-Cola to cancel Canadian promotion
Coca-Cola has cancelled a Canadian promotion that paired randomly generated English and French words inside bottle caps after an Edmonton woman got one that said "You Retard."
Blake Loates said she and her husband were eating at a restaurant in Edmonton earlier this week when her husband read the cap off his bottle of Vitaminwater.
“Both my husband and I were pretty shocked. We couldn’t actually believe what we were seeing,” Loates said. “We thought maybe it was a joke or that maybe a rogue employee got a hold of the lid machine and wrote it.”
September 19, 2013
But it's the thought that counts
Teacher's aide gave principal marijuana as gift
PROVIDENCE, R.I. (WPRI) – A teacher's assistant in Providence is facing criminal charges after he allegedly gave a bag of marijuana to a middle school principal as a present last Thursday afternoon.
Christopher Sheehan, 57, was arrested at an Everett Avenue home Friday and charged with unlawful delivery of marijuana in a school zone, according to a police report obtained by WPRI.com.
Police say Sheehan, who works with special education students at Nathanael Greene Middle School on Chalkstone Avenue, handed the school's principal an envelope, calling it a "gift" for winning the city's principal of the year award.
When the principal opened the envelope, she saw a sandwich bag with two smaller bags that contained the marijuana. The principal immediately contacted the police and her supervisor, according to the police report.
September 18, 2013
What a guy
Another tongue-in-cheek obituary.
William Freddie McCullough - BLOOMINGDALE - The man. The myth. The legend. Men wanted to be him and women wanted to be with him. William Freddie McCullough died on September 11, 2013. Freddie loved deep fried Southern food smothered in Cane Syrup, fishing at Santee Cooper Lake, Little Debbie Cakes, Two and a Half Men, beautiful women, Reeses Cups and Jim Beam. Not necessarily in that order. He hated vegetables and hypocrites. Not necessarily in that order. [...]
He attracted more women than a shoe sale at Macy's.
September 17, 2013
Nice work if you can get it (11)
Nasa recruits couch potatoes for microgravity study
Nasa is currently recruiting a number of willing volunteers to spend 70 days doing very little at its Houston headquarters.
The couch potatoes will get paid around £3,000 a month as part of the US space agency's research into the effects of microgravity on the human body.
'Of all the potential challenges crew members encounter in the space environment, microgravity has proven to be one of the most difficult to mimic in an experimental setting,' explains Nasa.gov. [...]
Successful candidates will stay in a tilted bed 24 hours a day as part of the 70-day project, where they can play computer games, surf the internet or watch TV
September 16, 2013
Low budget political ad
Video at the link
Bizarre mayoral campaign ad in wet underpants
A MAYORAL candidate has posted a bizarre campaign video in which he emerges from a lake in clingy wet underpants and pledges not to frequent strip clubs.
Jeffrey Wagner, who is running for mayor of the US city of Minneapolis, also tells voters to "wake the f*** up" in the advertisement which has receive 211,000 views on YouTube and widespread publicity across America.
Wagner walks out of the water carrying a coffee cup and clad only in a pair of soaked underpants to where a woman waits on the shore. [...]
Wagner is known for crude jokes on his Facebook page.
He is up against more than 30 candidates running for the mayoral election on November 5.
September 14, 2013
A little hair of the cat
Man tries to return cat he stole drunk
A Californian man who says he accidentally stole a cat while drunk posted an ad on Craigslist hoping to find its owners.
The cat-napper says in the ad that he thought the cat, Django, was a stray, but then noticed the next morning he had a collar.
The ad says: "If anyone is missing a cat name Django (pronounced Jango the D is silent) I stole him last night.
"Not on purpose, I was extremely intoxicated and thought he was just some random stray I was rescuing."
September 13, 2013
It's one of their tag lines.
How a Food-Delivery Company Found Love by Advertising on Adult Websites
Here's your curious advertising case study of the day. Food-delivery app Eat24 has written a lengthy blog post detailing, from start to finish, why and how it went "where no marketing team has gone before. Well, at least not without clearing their browser history afterward."
Eat24, which apparently had something of a following among porn stars already, decided to advertise on adult websites. Its rationale? Almost no mainstream brands want anything to do with the XXX world. And yet the traffic figures are through the roof, and the CPMs are low. What's not to like?
Below are a few excerpts from the case study. Here's the whole thing. Via @hollybrocks.
The idea:"If you ever take two seconds out of your naughty time to glance at the ads on porn sites, you'll notice that 99% of them are for more porn. It's a world where no one besides male enhancement pills and adult friend finders have dared to go. Not a single mainstream brand advertising there. We could be that 1%."
September 12, 2013
What a sight to see
Picture at the link, if you're interested
Artist held after Eiffel Tower coq stunt
Millions of wide-eyed tourists visit the Eiffel Tower every year, but on Tuesday morning a handful of them were treated, depending on your viewpoint, to a highly unusual spectacle.
At around 9.30 am, South African artist Steven Cohen emerged from a car and joined the crowds at Place du Trocadero, under the shadow of the world-famous monument, for a spot of breakfast-time performance art. [...]
Dressed in a bird outfit, and shuffling over to a prominent spot on the public square, Cohen began dancing about, with no less than a cock tied to his penis with a long ribbon.
In high-heeled platform shoes and wearing a corset, thigh-length tights, and long red gloves, and with long, wild feathers emanating from his head and hands, Cohen began “walking” the chicken up and down before crowds of tourists. [...]
Perhaps inevitably, Cohen was held by Paris police on charges of indecent exposure, before being released later in the day.
September 11, 2013
Fat's where it's at (6)
Huge 'fatberg' grows to the size of THREE blue whales as yet more grease is added to the 15-ton blockage in London's sewers
Like a scene out of Ghostbusters, the sickening images of the oozing, putrid grease blocking London's sewers made even those with the strongest stomachs queasy.
The stinking mass of lard, and much worse, highlighted Britain's love of cooking oil - and how we think nothing of throwing it down our sinks.
Now the double-decker sized blockage is getting worse, after experts discovered three tonnes had been added to the mass since its discovery last month.
This reminds me of the Original Talking Blues.
If you want to get to heaven,
Let me tell you how to do it:
Grease your feet in a little mutton suet,
Slide out of the devil's hand,
Ooze into the Promised Land,
Take it easy. Go greasy.
September 10, 2013
I've always heard that rugby players are tough
Man left with a HAMMER in his head following horror nightclub attack
Matthew Probert, 21, was left with a HAMMER in his head outside a Lincoln nightclub in the early hours of Sunday morning.
The Scunthorpe rugby star was snapped slumped against a wall with the claw of the tool embedded in his skull.
He had been on a night out with pals, before he was attacked at about 12.50am. [...]
Probert, a loose-head prop, was rushed to a specialist brain unit at the Royal Hallamshire Hospital in Sheffield.
Surgeons spent an hour removing the hammer from his forehead and he has since been described as being in a stable condition.
Lincolnshire Police later confirmed a 21-year-old man has been arrested on suspicion of attempted murder.
September 09, 2013
A sign that the Apocolypse is near
Hello Kitty beer now sold in China
The world's favorite mouthless, red ribbon-wearing kitten has reached legal drinking age. Hello Kitty, the iconic cartoon cat designed by Japanese company Sanrio, is now selling beer in China.
The adorable kitten, known for gracing snack cakes and children's wardrobes, now has its own fruit-flavored beer, which is sold exclusively in China.
The Hello Kitty brew, licensed by the Shanghai KT trading company and made by Taiwanese beer maker Long Chuan, comes in at least six tropical flavors, from passion fruit to banana.
While the beers are only 2.3 percent alcohol by volume, they are so sweet that it is easy to consume too many.
September 06, 2013
How to make a lasting first impression
First date ends with police chase
A first date ended in a dramatic police chase when a man snatched a woman's phone as compensation after she refused to go Dutch on drinks.
Southwark crown court heard that Kishore Nimmala, 32, spent a total of £54 on two rounds and was furious when Fakhara Sultana told him she thought men should pay on a first date.
The Daily Mail reportys that Nimmala then continued to follow her and pester her for money as the first date which was arranged online went sour.
When she tried to make a call on her BlackBerry, he snatched it and ran off.
September 04, 2013
Markets in everything (21)
Women selling fake positive pregnancy tests, 'no questions asked'
Women around the country are selling used positive pregnancy tests on Craigslist, according to reports that began popping up last week.
One mother in Buffalo, NY advertised used tests for $25 each, according to MailOnline.
Some of the sellers offer ways to get creative with your second-hand purchase.
"Wanna get your boyfriend to finally pop the question? Play a trick on mom, dad or one of your friends," writes one seller in New Jersey.
Others have taken the "no questions asked approach." One listing in Manhattan reads, "I'm pregnant and will sell you my positive pregnancy test for $20. I don't care what you need them for."
And apparently there's a market. Other listings want to buy the used tests, or in some cases offer to just buy a pregnant woman's urine. Motives range from revenge to educational purposes.
September 03, 2013
Not just Rocky Mountain oysters any longer, it seems.
Balls to that!
Hold onto your shorts! The World Testicle Cooking Championship takes place this weekend in Serbia.
The unusual cook-off, first held in 2004, has seen chefs go at 17 different kinds of testicle over the years, among them bull, ram, donkey, bear, reindeer, wild boar, kangaroo, stallion, goat, turkey and badger.
Creator and organizer Ljubomir Erovic has since put together recipes in The Testicle Cookbook.
August 28, 2013
Not a complete loss
Randy couple caught having sex on Danish soccer pitch after 0-0 draw
WELL, at least somebody scored.
The hunt is on for a couple of amorous Danish fans who were pictured having sex on the soccer pitch where their team had just played out a tedious 0-0 draw.
A photograph of the daring pair, who remain unidentified, has taken off online.
The two fans were spotted under floodlights in the pitch's centre circle by security staff at Broendby's Copenhagen ground, following a scoreless match against rival Randers on Sunday. Subsequently, a picture of the fans was posted on Twitter.
August 27, 2013
I can just imagine how thrilled his landlord is.
Man blows up house inflating air mattress
A German man caused €150,000 of damage to his rented house after trying to repair an inflatable mattress. Being new in town, he had no furniture – and now he has no windows or doors.
The 41-year-old, who has not been named, had moved to the town of Diepholz in Lower Saxony and bought the self-inflatable air mattress as he had no furniture in his new home, Bild newspaper reported.
But the mattress was leaky, so he used an industrial strength puncture repair spray to try and fix it. This reacted with the inbuilt electric pump, causing a violent explosion which threw him across the room, ripped doors off their hinges and smashed windows.
Experts believe that heat from the electric motor ignited the gas in the tyre sealant.
August 26, 2013
Wanted: asbestos diapers
Doctors confounded with India baby's burst into flames — three times
Doctors are confounded, but parents of a baby boy in India insist: The tyke has burst into flames for no apparent reason at least three times since birth.
The baby — cited in the Atlanta Journal-Constitution only by the name of Rahul — was born in May, and parents said that they first noticed flames suddenly appearing on his stomach and knees when he was just nine days old. And since, it's happened a handful of other time.
"The case has baffled experts in India, with doctors suggesting the cause of [the baby] Rahul's mystery burns could be due to combustible gases emitting from his pores," his parents said, in the report. [...]
Rahul is currently undergoing tests, AJC reported.
August 21, 2013
Write your own ticket
Guy does to bank what banks usually do to other people
The idea of beating the banks at their own game may seem like a rich joke, but Dmitry Agarkov, a 42-year-old Russian man, may have managed it. Unhappy with the terms of an unsolicited credit card offer he received from online bank Tinkoff Credit Systems, Agarkov scanned the document, wrote in his own terms and sent it through. The bank approved the contract without reading the amended fine print, unwittingly agreeing to a 0 percent interest rate, unlimited credit and no fees, as well as a stipulation that the bank pay steep fines for changing or canceling the contract.
[...] Now Agarkov is suing the bank for $727,000 for not honoring the contract's terms, and the bank is hollering fraud. "They signed the documents without looking. They said what usually their borrowers say in court: 'We have not read it,'" Agarkov's lawyer said. The shoe's on the other foot now, eh? [Source]
August 20, 2013
Gee, who could've predicted this?
20 injured at LG phone giveaway as PR stunt turns into freetard riot
LG has cancelled a series of publicity stunts promoting its new G2 smartphone after 20 Korean consumers were hurt as they attempted to get a free handset.
The PR boffins at LG decided it would be a good idea to release 100 helium-filled balloons, each carrying a voucher entitling the recipient to claim their 950,000 won ($852.54) smartphone. It then took to social media to promote the event, inviting people to witness the balloons' release and encouraging them to grab one of the vouchers.
But what must have sounded like a good idea in the marketing meeting quickly dissolved into chaos. People aren't stupid. They figured out that the only way to get the voucher was to burst the balloons, and they showed up equipped to do so with BB guns, knives on sticks, and other tools.
When the balloons were released, the crowd surged for them, and some participants fired BB guns into the air to try and pop their targets. Korea Times reports that in the ensuing scrum, 20 people were injured.
H.T. Bill F
August 15, 2013
Robot Serves Up 360 Hamburgers Per Hour
No longer will they say, "He's going to end up flipping burgers." Because now, robots are taking even these ignobly esteemed jobs. Alpha machine from Momentum Machines cooks up a tasty burger with all the fixins. And it does it with such quality and efficiency it'll produce "gourmet quality burgers at fast food prices."
With a conveyor belt-type system the burgers are freshly ground, shaped and grilled to the customer's liking. And only when the burger's finished cooking does Alpha slice the tomatoes and pickles and place them on the burger as fresh as can be. Finally, the machine wraps the burger up for serving.
And while you fret over how many people you invited to the barbecue, Alpha churns out a painless 360 hamburgers per hour.
August 14, 2013
The most popular name in Cincinnati
Million-Dollar Mix-Up Makes Winners Out of Two Men Named Kevin Lewis
A Cincinnati casino is paying up -- twice -- after it committed a million-dollar mix-up that put prize winnings in the hands of the wrong man.
Horseshoe Casino Cincinnati awarded $1 million each to two different Cincinnati natives named Kevin Lewis after it mistakenly allowed the wrong man to collect the winnings from a promotional contest it held on Saturday night, casino spokeswoman Jennifer Kulczycki told ABCNews.com. [...]
The casino, which is in the midst of a $3 Million Summer Giveaway promotion, called out for Kevin Lewis to come down and collect his prize after he was selected as the winner of the August drawing at around 9 p.m. Saturday.
"A gentleman whose named they called, Kevin Lewis, was in the crowd, came forward and was given his jumbo check," Kulczycki said. "Then as the local leadership team moved on to do the secondary verification process, the team realized it had made a blunder."
While Kulczycki declined to provide specifics on the two-step verification process the contest employs, she said it turned out there was a second Kevin Lewis from Cincinnati, roughly around the same age, who had actually won Saturday's $1 million drawing. But he was not in the casino when his name was called.
August 13, 2013
Well, Earl Scruggs he's not
From Orange County, California
Crime: Neighbor Complains About Steve Martin’s Musical Stylings
A rundown of calls that came into the O.C. Sheriff's Department May 31-June 1 in Laguna Niguel:
A caller reported that his neighbor was screaming in his backyard about how Steve Martin can't play the banjo. The incident occurred at 12:59 a.m. in the 28800 block of Placida Avenue.
August 12, 2013
Lost her at the third enema
Enemas and sex act shock audience at Winnipeg Fringe show
A controversial Fringe Festival performance featuring two naked actors engaging in mayonnaise enemas and a sexual act on stage left some audience members in shock while others walked out of the theatre Friday night.
The show, called Hollywood Hen Pit, stars Doug Melnyk and Ian Mozdzen, who are known for their edgy performances, having raised eyebrows in 2011 with their Fringe play Monopoly Man Pit.
This year's performance is about the life of an aging Hollywood starlet, as performed by two nude men.
"What I saw were not one, not two, but three mayonnaise enemas," said Fringe Festival reviewer Michelle Palansky, who was in the audience Friday night.
"By the third time… I was like, you know, this is gratuitous. I do not need to see any more mayonnaise enemas for the rest of my lifetime."
August 10, 2013
Moderation in all things
Hempfest organizer: Giant joint a no-go
Hempfest organizers don't support a marijuana company's plans to build the world's largest joint at the annual pot reform festival.
Speaking Wednesday, Hempfest organizer Vivian McPeak said building a giant joint would jeopardize the Seattle event, which has a standing policy of not allowing marijuana sales. [...]
"The last thing we like doing in the word is enforce pot laws," McPeak said. "But we can't encourage people to bring any amount of pot that they want to Hempfest."
August 09, 2013
Man has SIX-INCH worm removed from his brain
Wang Ming, 60, from Chengdu, China, visited his doctor after he had suffered fainting fits and painful migraines for more than six months.
When they X-rayed him, medics spotted a parasite the length of a biro lurking under his skull.
Surgeons performed a three-hour operation on Ming at the First People's Hospital in Shuangliu earlier this month.
When they removed the worm, they put it in a water container and were shocked to discover it carried on swimming.
August 04, 2013
Don't try to rob a gun store with a baseball bat
In fact, I'm not sure there's any good choice of weapon for robbing a gun store.
Man Attempts To Rob Gun Store With Bat
HILLSBORO, Ore. (AP) — The Washington County sheriff's office says a man who attempted to rob a Beaverton gun store with a baseball bat and a knife was thwarted when the manager drew his own gun.
The sheriff's office says the suspect walked into Discount Gun Sales Thursday afternoon, smashed a display case with the bat and removed a handgun.
Moments later the manager armed himself and ordered the suspect to drop the gun, the bat and a knife he also was carrying.
July 31, 2013
The secret is out
...all you need is an 'event widget'.
Pittsburgh man modifies his toaster to tweet 'toasting' and 'done'
PITTSBURGH, July 26 (UPI) -- A Pittsburgh says he's wired his toaster into Twitter so it to automatically sends him a tweet when it's toasting every morning.
Hans Scharler glued a switch to the outside of his toaster that detects when the slider is down and the toaster is on, or when it's up and finished toasting -- and connected in to the Internet to automatically tweet "Toasting" and "Done Toasting," boston.com reported Friday.
All he needed was a terminal board, a resistor and some alligator clips, Scharler said.
Scharler set up an event widget that monitors input from his contraption and sends alerts to his Twitter email address when the digital input from his toaster modification was high -- toasting -- and low -- done toasting.
July 25, 2013
Or you can take the water with you
Picture at the link.
Police Discover Swimming Pool on Wheels
German police on Sunday pulled over four men driving a BMW convertible that had been converted into a motorized swimming pool. Despite their creativity, at least one could be facing charges for being drunk behind the wheel.
A BMW convertible first aroused the suspicions of a motorcycle cop on patrol in the eastern German town of Eibenstock when water sloshed out of it as it drove around a curve. When the officer pulled the car over, he could hardly believe his eyes.
In a police report released on Monday, he described encountering an "a convertible of a slightly different kind." The car had been converted into a swimming pool on wheels complete with a wooden railing and cheap floral decoration that could have come out of a chintzy Hawaiian hotel.
July 24, 2013
Markets in everything (20)
Japanese women paid to put adverts on their THIGHS to catch the attention of men
An advertising agency has hit upon a unique way of catching the attention of people living in ad-saturated Tokyo - use women's thighs as a living billboard.
Consumers in the Japanese megalopolis are notoriously hard to reach because of the sheer abundance of billboards, neon signs and huge TV screens pumping out commercials, so the WIT agency decided to put ads on a place men are happy to pay attention to.
'It's an absolutely perfect place to put an advertisement as it's what guys are eager to look at and girls are OK to expose,' said Hidenori Atsumi, the CEO of WIT.
July 23, 2013
Nice boyfriend, lady
Woman gets head stuck in banister during impromptu sex session
A lover having sex on a flight of stairs had to be rescued after getting her head stuck between some banister railings.
The 46-year-old, from Lipetsk in Russia, said she wanted to 'spice things up' with her boyfriend when the unfortunate accident happened.
A neighbour called police after finding the woman naked and on her knees in a stairwell, unable to free herself, Pronews48.ru reports.
She told police she had consensual sex with her partner, who had left the scene by the time officers and ambulance staff had arrived to assist her.
July 22, 2013
Will it blend? You bet it will!
Oswego man gives blender some extra horsepower
SYRACUSE -- An Oswego couple turned heads at the Syracuse Nationals this week with an interesting take on a popular household appliance.
Russel Keene spent his winter developing a 380 horsepower blender powered by an old muscle car engine. The invention, which runs on gasoline and requires a key to start, can blend about five gallons in one minute. Keene says his blender has been put to good use during summer parties, but says it's really just a regular appliance.
July 18, 2013
Thanks to the surveillance cam. Picture at the link.
Off-duty AZ cop accused of pointing gun at clerk
TUCSON, Ariz. (AP) — A Tucson, Ariz., police officer has been fired after authorities say he pulled a gun on a gas station attendant while off duty and apparently intoxicated.
The Pima County Sheriff's Department notified Tucson police that 23-year-old Kyle James McCartin was arrested early Tuesday on two counts of aggravated assault.
Deputies were called to a Giant Gas Station and learned two men who appeared very intoxicated entered the store wearing bulletproof vests.
July 17, 2013
Use them for what, exactly?
Nearly 1 out of 10 Americans use smartphones during sex
Detailed within a study conducted by Harris Interactive, approximately nine percent of American adults admitted to using a smartphone while engaging in sexual intercourse with their partner. Of the 2000+ survey respondents, the largest percentage of adults that admitted this fact were split between Generation X and Millennial ages. Specifically, twenty percent of adults between the ages of 18 to 34 grabbed their smartphone during sex. Included within the 2013 Mobile Consumer Habits study, this survey was commissioned by Jumio; a company that offers payments and ID scanning solutions. [...]
Regarding places where Americans adults used their smartphones, approximately 12 percent of U.S. adults have used their smartphone while in the shower, 19 percent within a church or place of worship, 32 percent at a child's function taking place at school, 33 percent while on a dinner date, 35 percent while sitting in a movie theater and 55 percent while driving their automobile.
July 16, 2013
Minor Injuries As The Twinkie Makes A Comeback
Twinkie fever is back.
Hostess Brands LLC, the new owner of Twinkies, CupCakes and Zingers, officially brought back the iconic products on Monday. But some retailers, after agreeing not to start selling the products until midnight on Sunday, jumped the gun.
The fresh frenzy over the cream-filled confections left one Rhode Island woman with minor injuries last week, according to Hostess co-owner and Chief Executive C. Dean Metropoulos. As the woman was leaving a store with several boxes of Hostess goodies, she got jostled as other customers grabbed them from her, Mr. Metropoulos said in an interview after a kick-off event at a Schiller Park, Ill., Hostess bakery on Monday.
July 11, 2013
WTF in Thailand
Pix at the link
Fried chicken takeaway called 'Hitler' opens in Thailand and comes complete with logo of Nazi leader in a bow tie
Schoolchildren dressing up as Nazis and a billboard advert showing Hitler were just the start.
Thailand's obsession with so-called 'Nazis chic' just won't go away - and now a fried chicken takeaway called Hitler - complete with a logo showing the Nazi leader in a bow tie - has opened its doors.
The bizarre restaurant opened last month in Thailand and images of it are doing the rounds on Twitter as shocked customers take photos of the offensive eatery.
The fascist dictator's head has been grafted onto the body of bow-tie wearing Colonel Sanders, the founder of KFC.
July 09, 2013
Get a skillet
Stop Frying Eggs On The Road, Tourists Told
Tourists in America's Death Valley are being asked to stop frying eggs on the road.
Sweltering at the best of times and currently experiencing a heatwave over 50 degrees [122°F - Jdj], visitors to the area which straddles Nevada and California are leaving behind a mess of runny eggs, cartons and shells as they look for a photo opportunity.
July 01, 2013
Imagine a life without bacon
Local woman swears off food, hasn't eaten in 5 weeks
SEATTLE -- There are a few things that we all know and accept about human beings, and one of them is that we all need food and water to survive.
But one local woman wants to challenge that fundamental concept of life.
Her name is Naveena Shine, and some of her ideas can best be described as being "out there." The 65-year-old England native who now lives in the Seattle area is aiming big with her goals.
"This will literally save the Earth," she said of her most recent experiment.
Shine claims she doesn't need food to survive, and she's out to prove it to the world.
"Well, the intention of what I'm doing is I want to provide evidence that it is possible, should it be possible, that human beings can live and thrive and do really well without having to eat solid food," she said.
To prove her point, she quit eating. She's now living on water and tea with a dab of milk. She claims she hasn't had a thing to eat since May 3rd. [...]
"There's got to be a point that's a shift over point, you either go into starvation and death or you go into finding the place within and without that creates living on light," Shine said.
June 28, 2013
Put some hair on your chest
Fur coat made entirely from male chest hair
They say fur is murder, but this fur coat is a crime against fashion of another kind.
This limited edition coat is made entirely of male chest hair.
June 27, 2013
Bingo for biscuits
Biscuits -- what we call crackers or cookies (depending on whether they're savoury or sweet) here in the U.S.
'Bingo-for-biscuits' Brits fined in Portugal
Twenty-eight British and Irish expats and holiday-makers have been fined after police in Portugal caught them playing bingo for biscuits and drinks.
Landlady Marianne Pittaway, from North Yorkshire, was fined 700 euros (£595) for hosting the game at The Yorkshire Tavern in Albufeira, on Friday night.
Ms Pittaway, 34, also received a four-month suspended prison sentence.
She said she was "still in shock" and that the country's regulations were "wrong in a lot of aspects". [...]
The 28 appeared in court in Albufeira earlier to face charges of "exploitation of illegal gambling, illegal gambling and witnessing illegal gambling", according to the police.
Even some of the people in the bar who were not playing bingo were fined 150 euros (£125) and given a three-month suspended sentence for "witnessing illegal gambling".
Organisers of bingo in Portugal have to apply for a government licence.
June 26, 2013
As weird as this sounds, it's a fairly interesting article.
Eyeball-licking: the fetish that is making Japanese teenagers sick
Warning: don't read this if you're eating, prone to sudden bouts of queasiness or unable to even think about Un Chien Andalou without simultaneously bursting into tears and dry-heaving. Believe me, I'm speaking from experience here.
Because this is an article about oculolinctus, an eye-licking fetish that is currently sweeping across the schools of Japan like, well, like a great big dirty bacteria-coated tongue sweeping across a horrific number of adolescent eyeballs.
Sometimes known as "worming" – which somehow makes this whole thing worse – oculolinctus is being blamed for a significant rise in Japanese cases of conjunctivitis and eye-chlamydia, which is actually a thing. It's apparently seen as a new second-base; the thing you graduate to when kissing gets boring.
June 25, 2013
Man calls Solihull police to complain about prostitute's looks
A man has been warned after he dialled 999 to complain about a prostitute's looks after meeting her.
West Midlands Police said they were contacted by the caller who said he "wished to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act".
The force said the call was received at about 19:30 BST on Tuesday complaining that the woman was not as attractive as she had claimed.
Officers have now sent the man a letter warning him about wasting police time. [...]
"The caller claimed that the woman had made out she was better looking than she actually was and he wished to report her for breaching the Sale of Goods Act," a spokesperson for the force said.
"When he raised this issue with the woman concerned, she allegedly took his car keys, ran away from the car and threw them back at him, prompting him to call police."
June 24, 2013
Um, yeah... soup
Poet puts testicles up for sale
A Colombian poet and journalist has offered his testicles for sale to fund a trip to introduce Europeans to his work.
Raffael Medina Brochero yesterday told Radio Caracol he would sell them to the first person to agree to pay 375 million pesos ($A209,049) so that he could travel to Europe.
His testicles could be transplanted into a sterile person or used to make soup, said the 52-year-old poet, who has had 11 books published.
June 20, 2013
A new take on 'grass-fed' meat: Pig farmer markets pork raised on marijuana
The possibilities when it comes to marketing meat made from marijuana-fed animals are close to endless, but the man who came up with the idea has decided to simply call them "Pot Pigs."
William von Scheneidau, owner and founder of BB Ranch in Seattle, didn't come up with the idea to feed pigs and other animals weed while sitting around a bong in the basement with his buddies.
In fact, he doesn't even smoke, he said.
Von Scheneidau said the notion came to him when he met the owners of a weed dispensary who told him that, ever since marijuana was legalized in Washington via popular vote last year, they've had extra stems, stalks, and leaves to get rid of.
He simply asked them if he could take what they were planning to throw out, as he once did with a farmer's rotting cantaloupes. [...]
Whenever von Scheneidau introduces a new substance to animals' diets, he makes sure to have a control group of animals that eat normally from the same family.
He said that the pigs that are fed the marijuana just lie around and barely lift their heads.
"I name all my pigs," said von Scheneidau "and Ted told Tim they shouldn't tell me," whether or not they're high.
June 19, 2013
Just to think up some better names for these poor aliens.
Whitby councillor claims to have fathered alien child
A LABOUR politician has defended his beliefs in extra-terrestrial life - after claiming to have fathered a child with an alien.
Married father-of-three Simon Parkes, who represents Stakesby on Whitby Town Council, said his wife had rowed with him after revealing he had a child called Zarka with an alien he refers to as the Cat Queen.
The 53-year-old driving instructor said he has sexual relations with the alien about four times a year.
"What will happen is that we will hold hands and I will say 'I'm ready' and then the technology I don't understand will take us up to a craft orbiting the earth," he explained.
"My wife found out about it and was very unhappy, clearly. That caused a few problems, but it is not on a human level, so I don't see it as wrong."
June 06, 2013
The things we do for love
Man stripped naked to 'propose marriage to girlfriend on the porch'
A Florida man has been tasered and arrested after he tried to propose to girlfriend while naked outside the wrong house at 3.45 a.m.
Casselberry police said that Thomas Edwards, 22, told them he was indeed outside his girlfriends home and that she had instructed him to ask for her hand in marriage while in the buff.
However, the startled homeowners informed Edwards that he was at the wrong house and promptly called the police who then had a bad-tempered confrontation with the naked man.
May 31, 2013
Life imitates the web
Internet cat agent?
Grumpy Cat Has an Agent, and Now a Movie Deal
Some celebrities simply cannot be pleased. Just ask Ben Lashes, a talent manager in Los Angeles. This week, he landed a major motion-picture deal for a client who nine months ago was an unknown living in Morristown, Ariz., population 227.
When he told his client that she was heading to Hollywood, she looked bored. "She hates movies," says Mr. Lashes of his client, Grumpy Cat, a cat with a mouth puckered into a frown whose viral photos have ricocheted around the Internet.
Mr. Lashes, 34 years old, is an agent for Internet cats.
May 29, 2013
56 in this list, actually. Here are the first 10.
50+ of the Worst (Best) Analogies by High School Students
This list of hilariously mis-formulated analogies by high school students has been bouncing around the Interwebs for awhile, but it's so good that it deserves a repost. Lore has it that it originates from a Washington Post contest that asked teachers to send samples of the worst analogies from their students' work. The word "worst" is a bit of a misnomer because many of these analogies are unintentional genius and all of them are pretty hilarious. Enjoy:
- Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.
- He was as tall as a 6'3? tree.
- Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.
- From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation in another city and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00 p.m. instead of 7:30.
- John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.
- She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
- The ballerina rose gracefully en pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
- He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.
- Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever.
- She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.
May 24, 2013
Busted for inappropriate attire
Police stop cyclist near Bristol for 'not wearing Lycra'
A cyclist was stopped by police for not wearing "the right road bike clothing".
Tim Burton, 25, said he was pulled over in Keynsham on Wednesday for "not wearing Lycra".
He tweeted: "The PC said I wasn't dressed in appropriate gear to be riding my bike so had I stolen it?"
PC Keith James, from Avon and Somerset Police, said he stopped Mr Burton because it was "unusual to see an expensive bike being ridden by someone in non-cycling clothes."
May 21, 2013
But is that cricket?
High school seniors release 10,000 crickets into halls, get banned from graduation
High school seniors were banned from graduation after releasing 10,000 crickets into its halls as a prank.
East Carter High School in Grayson, Ky., stopped seven students from attending Saturday morning's celebration because of the cost of the cleanup.
Principal Larry Kiser said the creepy critters were still hiding in nooks and crannies several days later — which meant costly exterminators, had to be called in.
And he revealed the students would not receive their diplomas until they had coughed up a collective $600 fine.
May 20, 2013
Busting Robin Hood
Keene sues six parking meter 'Robin Hoods' who put money in expired meters
KEENE - The city has filed a lawsuit against six citizens, part of a group dubbed Robin Hood of Keene that patrols downtown armed with video cameras and pockets full of change to fill expired parking meters.[...]
"They say video recording or talking to them is harassing them, but I don't agree with that," "Robin Hooder" James Cleaveland said of parking enforcement officers. "So they want to establish a safety zone of fifty feet."
Members of the group place cards under windshield wipers that read, "Your meter expired; however, we saved you from the king's tariffs, Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Please consider paying it forward," and includes an address where donations can be sent.
The group says the suit was filed because the city is losing revenue from parking tickets. The city says the activists are harassing its employees.
May 18, 2013
Unclear on the concept (3)
Man arrested for 'soliciting prostitute' on HONEYMOON after he leaves bride in hotel so he can meet hooker who is actually a cop
The honeymoon is over for Mohammed Ahmed.
The 21-year-old Illinois man was arrested for soliciting a prostitute last week while he was honeymooning with his new wife in Florida. [....]
Ahmed left his newlywed in their room at the Omni Hotel in Champions Gate when he went off on his sojourn to pay for sex.
When he never returned, the worried bride called the sheriff's office to report him missing.
May 16, 2013
Vigilantes 1, vulgarians 0
Gothamist issues a certificate of commendation.
Heroic Theatergoer Smashes Cell Phone, Gets Thrown Out
We can't count the number of times we've wanted to enact vengeance on some inconsiderate audience member whose cell phone goes off during a performance. But, like most people, we just bottle that fury up deep down inside and take it out on the break room vending machine later. Not Kevin Williamson. Last night the National Review writer was in attendance at the marvelous new musical Natasha, Pierre, and the Great Comet of 1812 when one theatergoer's incessant cell phone use finally drove him over the edge... into vigilantism. [...]
Although each table is explicitly told that photography and cell phone use is strictly prohibited during the performance, the people seated around Williamson were, he says, unbearable. "They were carrying on a steady conversation throughout entire show," Williamson, who also writes a theater column for New Criterion, tells us. "They had been quite loud and obnoxious the entire time. There were two groups, one to the left and one to the right who were being loud and disruptive."
During intermission, Williamson's date complained to the theater's management, but he says he didn't personally witness the theater managers admonish the disruptive audience members. And once the performance resumed, the woman sitting to Williamson's right on his bench would not, he says, stop using her cell phone. "It looked like she was Googling or something," Williamson tells us. "So I leaned over and told her it was distracting and told her to put it away. She responded, 'So don't look.' "
Blood boiling, Williamson says he then asked her, sarcastically, "whether there had been a special exemption for her about not using her phone during the play. She told me to mind my own business, and so I took the phone out of her hands. I meant to throw it out the side door, but it hit some curtains instead. I guess my aim's not as good as it should be." Asked if the phone was damaged, Williamson says, "It had to be; I threw it a pretty good distance."
Title comes from Mr. Williams' account of the events.
May 15, 2013
Why New Yorkers are so popular
Rich Manhattan moms hire handicapped tour guides so kids can cut lines at Disney World
They are 1 percenters who are 100 percent despicable.
Some wealthy Manhattan moms have figured out a way to cut the long lines at Disney World — by hiring disabled people to pose as family members so they and their kids can jump to the front, The Post has learned.
The "black-market Disney guides" run $130 an hour, or $1,040 for an eight-hour day.
"My daughter waited one minute to get on 'It's a Small World' — the other kids had to wait 2 1/2 hours," crowed one mom, who hired a disabled guide through Dream Tours Florida.
May 14, 2013
And God is her copilot, I'll bet
North Miami mayoral candidate says she was endorsed by Jesus
North Miami's unpredictable election exploits entered the final day on a divine note: a mayoral candidate claiming she was endorsed by Jesus Christ.
Anna Pierre, who previously said she was a victim of Vodou sorcery, posted the message in a campaign-style flier featured on her Facebook page.
This woman seems to have a lot going on.
Mayoral candidate in Florida defeated after claiming endorsement by Jesus
Anna Pierre, a registered nurse, claimed she was endorsed by Jesus Christ, but still finished last among the seven candidates in the North Miami mayor's race.
She didn't have a prayer.
A mayoral candidate in Florida was soundly defeated in her election on Tuesday despite claiming an endorsement by Jesus Christ.
May 13, 2013
Danilo writes, "[H]ere in Brazil this is like a joke. Many people here can't understand how people can think that way. It's like a shame."
Senhor Testiculo (AKA 'Mr. Balls') Is Here To Save Brazilians From Testicular Cancer
We've got to hand it to this Brazilian cancer organization: Having a huge testicle as a mascot is pretty ballsy.
"Senhor Testiculo" (aka "Mr. Testicle" or "Mr. Balls"), recently made a very public appearance at an event run by the Associação de Assistência às Pessoas in Viçosa, Brazil. The mascot, which is literally a huge pair of testicles, appears quite cheerful in the numerous pictures from the event. (Just goes to show, you don't have to be testy to represent testicular cancer.)
Picture of this mascot at the link
May 11, 2013
Do-it-yourself invisibility with 3-D printing
Seven years ago, Duke University engineers demonstrated the first working invisibility cloak in complex laboratory experiments. Now it appears creating a simple cloak has become a lot simpler.
"I would argue that essentially anyone who can spend a couple thousand dollars on a non-industry grade 3-D printer can literally make a plastic cloak overnight," said Yaroslav Urzhumov, assistant research professor in electrical and computer engineering at Duke's Pratt School of Engineering. [...]
Urzhumov said that producing a cloak in this fashion is inexpensive and easy. He and his team made a small one at Duke which looks like a Frisbee™ disc made out of Swiss cheese. Algorithms determined the location, size and shape of the holes to deflect microwave beams. The fabrication process takes from three to seven hours. [...]
Just like the 2006 cloak, the newer version deflects microwave beams, but researchers feel confident that in the not-so-distant future, the cloak can work for higher wavelengths, including visible light.
May 06, 2013
Don't it make your brown eyes blue
New laser surgery technique can turn your brown eyes blue
Of all the features we notice about a person upon meeting them, their eyes are often the first connection we make. But some people just aren't satisfied with the color of their peepers, wishing their dark corneas away in favor of a pleasant shade of blue. Those unhappy with brown eyes may find just what they're looking for: Laguna Beach doctor Gregg Homer has developed a new procedure that can actually convert brown-colored eyes to blue in just a matter of weeks.
The operation itself is fairly straight forward: Using a laser tuned to a special frequency, the doctor actually alters the cells that produce the brown coloration in the eye. After a few weeks, the darker color begins to fade, revealing the blue pigment underneath. As the doctor explains it, the procedure only works for brown-eyed individuals, as they already have a bluish coloration hiding underneath.
According to Homer, the procedure takes just 20 seconds to complete. [...] Homer and his company, Stroma Medical, have been working on the technology for over a decade, and say it will be available on a consumer basis within three years.
As Dave Barry wrote, "Lasers are amazing devices which emit beams of light powerful enough to vaporize a bulldozer, yet are so precise that they can be used in delicate optical surgery, provided the surgeon remembers to change the setting on the laser to ‘delicate optical surgery’ from ‘vaporize bulldozer'."
Via TYWKIWDBI who references Crystal Gayle's 1977 song.
May 02, 2013
Unclear on the concept (2)
Victims take gun from suspects during home invasion, suspects come back asking for their gun
Edinburg police continue their search for a man accused of robbing three people early Saturday morning.
Investigators told Action 4 News two men burst into an apartment located on the 1400 block of West Carmen Street around 4:00 Saturday morning and demanded money. [...]
Police said during the robbery the victims were able to get the gun from the suspects; both fled the scene.
The victims called 911 and turned the gun over to police.
A few hours later the victims said the suspects came back and asked for their gun back—that is when the victims called police again.
May 01, 2013
A little indiscreet, to say the least
She never should have walked the walk
Sometimes, to make a convincing case for yourself, you have to show as well as tell, walk the walk as well as talk the talk. [...]
Erica Tamburin made the mistake of walking the walk when she ought not have. She participated in the Ogden Newspapers Half Marathon in May 2010, finishing in 2 hours, 43 minutes (50th out of 173).
What would have been a respectable performance for anyone was truly extraordinary for a young woman claiming severe, permanent injuries from a car accident in the Cabela’s parking lot just six months earlier. (Ms. Tamburin was also listed as the first baseman for the HJS coed softball team subsequent to her accident.)
Tamburin filed suit against Cabela’s in 2011, claiming injuries to her head, neck, shoulders, back, chest, arms, body chemistry, and psyche. The exact nature of the injuries to her “body chemistry” and “psyche” is not known.
April 30, 2013
Meet Mr. Slick
This cat has to be a crazy smooth talker.
Four female prison guards impregnated by same inmate
BALTIMORE Four female prison guards in Baltimore fell pregnant to the same inmate, according to authorities who have busted a major smuggling gang inside the jail system.
Two of the women tattooed the inmate's name on their bodies and he showered three of them with expensive gifts including cars and jewelry.
The four women are among 25 people who face federal charges, including 13 female prison guards, CBS Baltimore reports.
The scheme involved smuggling drugs and cell phones into Baltimore City Detention Center.
April 29, 2013
First thing we do...
Let's kill all the lawyers. If you read the woman's feedback you'll see that it's very civil.
Med Express Sues Marginally Dissatisfied Customer For Posting Accurate Feedback On eBay
Here's yet another example of companies using lawsuits to censor speech -- a situation that would be stopped if there was a serious federal anti-SLAPP law in place. Paul Levy shares the incredible story of a company called "Med Express," an Ohio company, who appears to sell various medical equipment exclusively via eBay (there are other "Med Express" companies out there from what I can tell). One buyer, in South Carolina, purchased something, but was disappointed by the fact that the product arrived postage due. The woman noted it wasn't the fact that she had to pay, just the inconvenience of having to pay to get the delivery when it wasn't expected. In response, she left negative feedback on Med Express' eBay page.
While Med Express did express regret (while noting that some other customers had seen the same problem) and offered to reimburse the postage due, it also asked her to remove the negative review. However, as she noted, it wasn't the money issue, but the inconvenience, so she decided to leave her feedback up. At this point, Med Express and its lawyer, James Amodio, apparently decided that if she didn't like "inconvenience" it would subject her to more inconvenience and sued her for defamation in state court in Ohio and sought a temporary restraining order against eBay to block the review. While that failed, apparently the judge is allowing a hearing to happen for a preliminary injunction even though (as Levy points out) the same reason the TRO was rejected should apply to any preliminary injunction.
Amazingly, the complaint directly lays out the pretty clear fact that it's suing her for not removing a truthful review. They don't even attempt to argue that she said anything false or defamatory. Just that they feel she shouldn't have complained since they offered to reimburse.
April 26, 2013
Hello there, sailor!
US sailor thwarts Dubai bus driver rapist
An off-duty US navy sailor wrestled a bus driver to the ground and beat him into submission after he attempted to rape her at knife point, a court heard yesterday.
Prosecutors said that she knocked the knife from his hand, broke it in two, bit him in the hand, forced him to the ground and locked him between her thighs.
The woman, 28, was on 24-hour shore leave in Dubai and was attacked as she returned to the port where she was based after a day shopping.
April 25, 2013
There's an app for that (11)
The population of Iceland is only ~320, 000 people.
Iceland students create 'Incest Spoiler' Android app
REYKJAVíK, Iceland, April 22 (UPI) -- Three University of Iceland students said the smartphone app they designed is meant to prevent people from accidentally dating their cousins.
On the other hand, here are 31 famous people who married a first cousin.
April 24, 2013
Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop comes to aid of woman being attacked
A Samurai sword-wielding Mormon bishop helped a neighbor woman escape a Tuesday morning attack by a man who had been stalking her.
Kent Hendrix woke up Tuesday to his teenage son pounding on his bedroom door and telling him somebody was being mugged in front of their house. The 47-year-old father of six rushed out the door and grabbed the weapon closest to him -- a 29-inch high carbon steel Samurai sword.
He came upon what he describes as a melee between a woman and a man. His son stayed inside to call 911 while he approached the man along with other neighbors who came to help. The martial arts instructor didn't hesitate in drawing the sword and yelling at him to get on the ground.
"His eyes got as big as saucers and he kind of gasped and jumped back," Hendrix said by phone Tuesday afternoon.
Sounds like it's a contender
Is this the shortest TV career in history?
The weekend new anchor who started his new job by swearing live on air with his first words has been let go today by his news station in North Dakota.
KFYR news anchor A.J. Clemente opened up on air by saying 'F****** s***' into his live microphone, leaving his co-anchor dumbfounded.
Sadly though for Clemente, KFYRTV fired him today after less than 24-hours in the job and Clemente took to Twitter to say, 'Unfortunately KFYRTV has decided to let me go. Thank you to them and everyone in ND for the opportunity and everyone for the support.'
April 23, 2013
Like flies to honey, I'll bet
Customers flock to topless barber shop
A Brisbane barber shop says it is attracting customers from hundreds of miles away - after offering topless trims.
It claims that customers travel from as far as Townesville - 850 miles away - for a short back and sides.
The scantily-clad barbers also offer scalp massages, brow waxing, blow dries and a shave with a cut-throat razor.
Owner operator Jasmine Robson said all her stylists were fully qualified hairdressers.
April 22, 2013
Now that's a phat one
Video shows UC Santa Cruz police confiscating 2-pound joint from 4/20 party
A video posted to the Internet shows police on the University of California, Santa Cruz campus confiscating what is described as a 2-pound marijuana joint Saturday.
According to various accounts on the Internet, the incident happened at an annual event that marks April 20, or 4/20, numbers which have become associated with smoking marijauna.
April 19, 2013
Boy, 16, charged with assault for urinating in school staffroom coffee pot after teachers report strange 'chemical taste'
A 16-year-old Missouri boy has been charged with assault after allegedly urinating into his teachers' staffroom coffee pot.
The unidentified boy is accused of being caught on camera sneaking into the room at Central High School, St Joseph, and urinating into the glass container.
After three weeks of investigation and watching surveillance video from a hidden staffroom camera, headteacher Melody Smith said staff identified a possible culprit and notified police.
April 18, 2013
Flopsy, Mopsy, and Cottontail
When Dinner Has a Gleam in Its Eye
BEIJING — Bundled up on a wind-whipped day, about 30 people lined up outside a restaurant takeout window here, waiting for rabbit heads.
For guests in the main dining room, a video explained how to eat the fist-size heads. Su Yong, the restaurant's enthusiastic chef and star of the video, demonstrated by pulling open the rabbit's mouth and separating the jaw from the skull before splitting the jawbone in two and sucking off the succulent meat. In case there was any confusion, brochures with diagrams rested on each table.
Mr. Su is a sort of rabbit head evangelist, drawing celebrities to his restaurant, Old Street Rabbit, to help drum up crowds. He holds aloft one half of a tiny jawbone, explaining that it can be employed as a pick, and then uses the incisor to scoop out an eye, window to the bunny's soul.
April 17, 2013
Judge holds self in contempt for his smartphone
IONIA, Mich. (AP) — A Michigan judge whose smartphone disrupted a hearing in his own courtroom has held himself in contempt and paid $25 for the infraction.
Judge Raymond Voet has a posted policy at Ionia County 64A District Court stating that electronic devices causing a disturbance during court sessions will result in the owner being cited with contempt, the Sentinel-Standard of Ionia and MLive.com reported.
On Friday afternoon, during a prosecutor's closing argument as part of a jury trial, Voet's new smartphone began to emit sounds requesting phone voice commands. Voet said he thinks he bumped the phone, and the embarrassment likely left his face red.
"I'm guessing I bumped it. It started talking really loud, saying 'I can't understand you. Say something like Mom,'" he said. [...]
Over the years, the judge whose court is about 110 miles northwest of Detroit has taken phones away from police officers, attorneys, witnesses, spectators and friends. During a break in the trial, Voet held himself in contempt, fined himself and paid the fine.
April 16, 2013
That description isn't much of a recommendation
Elephant Dung Beer Sounds Grosser Than It Tastes
Last year, the first elephant dung coffee debuted on the scene at a whopping $1,100 per kilogram. Don't worry, the coffee doesn't actually taste like feces, but rather like an earthy and smooth blend. It just happens to be made from beans that passed through an elephant's digestive tract.
This month, Sankt Gallen, a Japanese brewery, decided to take the elephant dung "trend" one step further by creating elephant dung beer. According to RocketNews24, Sankt Gallen debuted the brew on April Fools' Day, and it sold out within minutes.
The beer, titled "Un, Kono Kuro" -- a pun on "unko," the Japanese word for "crap" -- is a coffee stout made with elephant dung coffee beans.
A contributor to RocketNews24 got his hands on a few bottles and seemed quite taken with the creation. "For some time after I could still feel as if my body was saturated with that warm scent," he wrote. "Luckily there were two more bottles left."
April 15, 2013
Straight out of Tom Sawyer
Chinese undertaker offering fake funerals for the living
Last month, 24 pretend funerals were held at the Shimenfeng Celebrity Culture Park cemetery in the Chinese city of Wuhan.
"It was the first time we ever offered this kind of service," said Zhang Bei, the mortuary's 30-year-old "cemetery designer", who argued the experience could help people better appreciate their lives.
The fake funerals were the brainchild of Zeng Jia, a 20-year-old student, who became the first to lie down in a coffin during her fake wake at the end of March.
Ms Zeng, who is studying to be an undertaker, said she had come up with the idea after a relative suffered a brain haemorrhage and died in 2011. "I was so touched by this incident," she said.
Workers at the cemetery were initially confused by Ms Zeng's idea but were eventually convinced.
"We were really surprised but found [the concept] new and interesting," said Ms Zhang.
Despite the absence of genuine cadavers, Ms Zhang said the funeral services were realistic, involving coffins, floral bouquets, mourners, photographers and even emotion-packed speeches from friends of the 'deceased'. [...]
"The atmosphere is quite light-hearted, just like a party," said Ms Zhang.
April 11, 2013
Immune to his meds, it sounds like
Man who faked diplomatic immunity sent to prison
SALT LAKE CITY — An Ogden man who pleaded guilty to charges stemming from falsely claiming diplomatic immunity during a traffic stop and then billing police and other government agencies $53 trillion in damages is headed to prison for three years.
A federal judge sentenced 55-year-old Harvey Douglas Goff on Monday. [...]
Court documents show that the 55-year-old Goff told police that he had diplomatic immunity during a traffic stop about two years ago and then demanded $53 trillion in damages.
When he wasn't paid, he filed liens on 77 parcels of land in Weber County. Some of them included personal property of government officials.
April 10, 2013
And now he has some real problems
Police: Wedding ring pawned to pay hooker
GREENWOOD, S.C., April 4 (UPI) -- Police in South Carolina said they arrested a man who allegedly admitted to pawning his wedding ring to pay a prostitute.
The Greenwood Police Department said an officer pulled over a vehicle in an area known to be frequented by prostitutes and drug dealers [...] WYFF-TV, Greenville, S.C., reported Thursday.
The driver, Marvin Holmes II, 33, allegedly told the officer he decided to pick up a prostitute because he was having problems with his wife.
April 05, 2013
See scenic North Korea
North Korea tourism 'booming' despite war threats
A handful of state-sanctioned travel operators have been guiding tourists through the otherwise secretive North Korea for several years now, and they say business is booming despite the nation's recent threats of nuclear war against neighbouring South Korea and the U.S.
"All [our] sources are saying that this is just the latest — notably a particularly big wave — but still just another wave" of anti-Western sentiment, Richie Fenner, a 23-year-old Brit who has visited North Korea 20 times, told CBC News. [...]
"You definitely feel you're somewhere very, very different to anywhere else you've been before," he says. So he invested in YPT and came on board as a guide for the company whose tagline is: "Adventure travel to destinations your mother would rather you stayed away from."
April 04, 2013
Nice work if you can get it (10)
'Tall white foreigner from Wales singing songs about communism' is hit in China
Iain Inglis, 30, shot to fame after singing traditional communist revolutionary songs while dressed in a Red Army uniform.
The university lecturer made it to the semi-finals of the show [China's Got Talent - JdJ] and now performs for up to £5,000 a night.
"I'm a tall, white foreigner from Wales singing songs about communism in Chinese," Mr Inglis, from Cardiff, said. "It was a bit of fun to start off with but the more performances I did, the more I was hooked. For some reason the Chinese people seem to find it quite hilarious."
April 03, 2013
How cool would this be?
Too bad it's an April Fools joke
Virgin Atlantic Launches World's First-Ever Glass-Bottomed Plane
As you may have seen in the national press, after nearly 30 years of providing the ultimate long-haul flying experience, Virgin Atlantic and our founder Richard Branson are once again flying in the face of ordinary by announcing the creation of a world first in aircraft innovation. This technological innovation coincides with the start of our first ever domestic service, Little Red.
Today we've announced that our world-class engineering crew have been secretly working on the design and production of the world's first-ever glass-bottomed plane, created to ensure passengers can enjoy both an unparalleled flying experience, as well as a selection of stunning landscapes from the comfort of their seats.
April 02, 2013
Another Darwin Award nominee
Man hurt flying kite from moving vehicle in Calif.
RIVERSIDE, Calif. -- A 22-year-old man was critically hurt in Southern California when he fell off the trunk of a car while attempting to fly a kite from the moving vehicle. [...]
Authorities say the car's driver wasn't injured and alcohol was not involved.
April 01, 2013
Getting around in Moscow
Wealthy Russians hiring ambulances to cut through Moscow traffic
We're not sure how widespread the practice is, but the option is apparently out there: Russian police have discovered companies on the Internet offering rides in "ambulance-taxis" through notoriously bad Moscow traffic. For roughly 6,000 rubles per hour – about $193 US, which doesn't sound like much for a wealthy Russian – the 'customer' will get to cut through gridlock in an ambulance with flashing lights and the proper paint scheme outside but a refitted, leather-lined interior.
March 27, 2013
I wonder what they charge for window-shopping?
This won't end well...
Store Charges Customers $5 'Just Looking' Fee To Combat Showrooming
There's a store in Australia that really hates it when its customers walk around the store without buying anything.
Redditor BarrettFox posted a pic of a sign informing shoppers of a new fee at a specialty food store in Brisbane.
It's $5 for "just looking."
The fee exists to stop people from "showrooming" — which occurs when a customer looks at items in a physical store, then makes the purchase online.
The sign assures that you'll have the five dollars deducted from the final purchase price, so you'll get your money back if you buy something.
March 26, 2013
Scrapping the breathalyzers
This was first mentioned about 6 weeks ago.
Irish Town Legalizes Drinking and Driving
Law allows people to "to drive home from their nearest pub after having two or three drinks on little-used roads driving at very low speeds."
The Irish town of Kilgarvan passed a law this winter that allows members of its community to drink and drive.
Proposed by local pub owner and politician Danny Healy-Rae, the motion allows people who live in country areas to have a few beers before they drive home.
March 25, 2013
Get that tune out of your head - scientists find how to get rid of earworms
They are the songs you cannot get out of your head. Now scientists may have found a way to help anyone plagued by those annoying tunes that lodge themselves inside our heads and repeat on an endless loop.
Researchers claim the best way to stopping the phenomenon, sometimes known as earworms – where snippets of a catchy song inexplicably play like a broken record in your brain – is to solve some tricky anagrams.
March 22, 2013
It took 4 years?
There's got to be more to this story.
Taiwanese Woman Stifles Snicker, Divorces Man After Discovering Underwhelming Endowment
A Taiwanese couple, a 55-year old man and 52-year old woman, have divorced after four years living in separate apartments following the woman's wedding night discovery that her new husband's member appeared to have a severe case of dwarfism.
March 21, 2013
Snowy street art in Germany
Snow sculpture car gets parking ticket
Traffic wardens slipped up in Germany when they left a parking ticket - on a full-sized snow sculpture of a Volkswagen Beetle.
Pranksters had built the car overnight in a no-parking zone in Aachen, complete with outlines for its headlights, windscreens and even the distinctive VW badge on the bonnet.
"It was incredibly realistic looking. It looked like you could get into it and drive away once you'd swept the snow off," said one local.
Via The Presurfer
March 19, 2013
I tawt I taw a puddy tat
Image of this late feline at the site.
'Bad taste' cat-skin rug auction upsets animal advocates
The sale of a stuffed cat as a taxidermic skin rug has upset animal advocates who say the TradeMe auction is in bad taste and disturbing.
The ginger tabby is being sold online as a "great little gift for the man-cave". Bids close tonight at 8pm.
Tauranga taxidermist Andrew Lancaster found the cat on the Napier-Taupo highway last month.
"I thought 'that's a pretty nice looking cat', did a u-turn and picked it up." He thought the cat must have been "run straight over" as there was no broken skin, but bruising inside.
"There's been about 2500 views. I usually get 100 views a week on some of my other items," he said.
Mr Lancaster's typical stuffed possums usually sold for about $70. By last night, $251 had already been bid for the cat.
March 18, 2013
Panda see, pando do
'Panda porn' gets a surprising number of Google hits (surprising to me, at least).
Panda porn pays off for conservationists
Conservationists are cock-a-hoop in China after a shy pair of pandas successfully mated after watched a 'wildlife porn' video.
Vets at the Panda Breeding and Research Base in Chengdu, Sichuan province, were worried when inexperienced five-year-old female Colin kept rejecting her mate,Yongyong.
So they played the played the pair a film of pandas doing what comes naturally to show them what they should be up to. [...]
"So we played them the film and she took great interest in it. After that there was no stopping her and they mated successfully."
March 14, 2013
CNN host suggests link between asteroid, global warming
CNN anchor Deb Feyerick suggested Saturday afternoon that global warming may extend further than our globe. [...]
"We want to bring in our science guy, Bill Nye, and talk about something else that's falling from the sky, and that is an asteroid," the anchor said. "What's coming our way? Is this the effect of, perhaps, global warming? Or is this just some meteoric occasion?"
March 13, 2013
Tough times in Oklahoma
Levity may not be appropriate but this could be the basis of a really funny C&W song.
Woman Tries to Sell Kids on Facebook
Misty VanHorn, 22, of Sallisaw, Oklahoma, was arrested on Saturday for attempting to sell her 10-month-old daughter and 2-year-old son on Facebook, according to The Sequoyah County Times, which reported the news over the weekend. She is being held on $40,000 bail.
After posting a number of offers on Facbeook, VanHorn made contact over the network with a woman in nearby Fort Smith, Arkansas, to whom she offered to sell the 10-month-old for $1,000, or both children together for $4,000. She later spoke to the woman over the phone in an effort to seal the deal, telling her she needed the money to bail her boyfriend out of jail. [...]
Although you might think selling your children would be illegal in all 50 states, it's by no means clear that this is actually the case. In Mississippi, it was technically legal to sell your children until 2009, when the state legislature passed a law in response to a 2008 case.
March 11, 2013
Yeah, that'll work
...though probably not as well as an S&W M&P9.
Guerilla knitting in Leicester 'to reduce crime fear'
Hundreds of pom-poms and knitted items have been strung from trees and lampposts to help reduce the fear of crime in an area of Leicester.
Leicestershire Police hope the "guerilla knitting" or "yarn bombing" will encourage more people to use Bede Park and Great Central Way.
Some of the park's users told BBC Radio Leicester the items - including tree warmers - do not make them feel safer.
But criminologist Charlotte Bilby said they could have a positive effect.
Ms Bilby, a senior lecturer in criminology at Northumbria University, said: "I think that making an area look cosier certainly makes an area feel safer.
"If you see something that makes you smile, that makes you think that other people have enjoyed being in that space and have done something funny, something silly in that place, then that's going to change your perception about what it is to be in Bede Park."
March 08, 2013
New meaning for the phrase 'Bite me!'
You Can Make Gummy Bear Versions of Yourself
Somewhere in between the honor of getting a bronze statue of yourself and the shame of re-creating your sexual organs in plastic is this awesome gummy bear yourself service. You can basically create a gummy replica of yourself to eat. It looks absolutely delicious.
FabCafe in Japan is offering the service for approximately $65 (6,000 Yen), which sounds like a complete steal to me. It's apparently a 2-part process that requires a 3D body scanner and a lot of gummy colors.
March 07, 2013
The hot spots in Idaho
Walmart: The place to go for milk, toiletries ... a new girlfriend?
"You caught my eye in the bottled water aisle": The Craigslist section called "missed connections," where people write about fleeting glances, brief flirtations and love-at-first-sight magic, is the loneliest, most hopeful corner of the Internet.
Idaho's hot spot: Based on tallies, the local Walmart store is a popular place for Idahoans to pine for strangers. That's according to an analysis published in the February issue of Psychology Today.
March 06, 2013
All dressed down and no place to go
Half-naked woman, 28, 'flees scene of DUI crash at her trailer park home in child's battery-operated toy truck'
An intoxicated woman tried to flee the scene of a car accident in a child's toy truck, authorities said on Tuesday.
Jamie Craft, 28, was reportedly drunk when she slammed her car into the side of a trailer home in Jonesboro, Arkansas.
Craft, who was not wearing any pants, then tried to escape the scene by jumping in a child's battery-powered dumper truck which has a top speed of 5mph.
March 05, 2013
Pure genius (2)
Brooklyn man fakes his own kidnapping to explain two-week absence to girlfriend
A Brooklyn man faked his own kidnapping because he was terrified of his lover's wrath.
Rahmell Pettway, 36, told cops he spent two weeks away from his Bedford-Stuyvesant home — and then staged the crime to explain his absence to his girlfriend.
But his poorly executed plan unraveled when the cops who found him hog-tied in the street noticed the roll of duct tape still dangling from his wrists.
He eventually came clean, and was arrested for filing a false report.
"He's a total moron," said one law-enforcement source. "It was a pathetic attempt to pull the wool [over] her eyes."
March 04, 2013
No good deed goes unpunished?
Cypress HS student suspended for disarming gunman?
FORT MYERS, Fla. - A 16-year-old Cypress Lake High School student, who wrestled a loaded revolver away from a teen threatening to shoot, is being punished.
The student grappled the gun away from the 15-year-old suspect on the bus ride home Tuesday after witnesses say he aimed the weapon point blank at another student and threatened to shoot him.
The student, who Fox 4 has agreed not to identify and distort his voice because he fears for his safety, says there's "no doubt" he saved a life by disarming the gunman. And for that he was suspended for three days.
"I think he was really going to shoot him right then and there," the student said. "Not taking no pity." [...]
According to the referral, he was suspended for being part of an "incident" where a weapon was present and given an "emergency suspension."
February 28, 2013
Drinking to their health
Massachusetts man drinking his way across the state for a good cause
If you need a good reason to have a beer at 9:30 in the morning, Todd Ruggere has one.
"I'm drinking a Sam Adams in all 351 towns in Massachusetts and I'm doing it for charity," Ruggere said.
His latest stop was in Waltham at the Tempo Bistro.
And with each swig, he's raising money for Dana Farber and the Jimmy Fund to help with children's cancer research.
"I've always wanted to raise money for it and never really had a good idea, and I came up with this idea and everyone seems to love it," Ruggere said.
His mission: one beer a day at a different bar, in a different Massachusetts town.
February 26, 2013
The lottery party was a blast
Brothers celebrate lottery win by blowing up house
Two brothers who were celebrating a $75,000 winning lottery ticket by purchasing marijuana and meth accidentally blew up their house on Friday, said Sgt. Bruce Watts of the Wichita Police Department.
The explosion sent one of the brothers – a 27-year-old – to the hospital, where he remains in serious but stable condition with second-degree burns on his hands, arms and chest.
The other brother was sent to jail, Watts said.
The brothers were in a house in the 100 block of North Nevada Court, near Douglas and West Street, about 7 p.m. Friday, Watts said. One of the brothers went to the kitchen to refuel the butane torches they planned to use to light their bongs. He emptied a couple of large cans of butane lighter fluid, leaking butane into the air.
"The butane vapor reached the pilot light in the furnace, and as you might expect, ka-boom," Watts said.
The victim was wearing a lottery T-shirt during the explosion.
February 25, 2013
She's got legs, she knows how to use them
'Absolute territory'... heh.
Young Japanese Women Rent Out Their Bare Legs as Advertising Space
A good way to make sure your advertisement gets plenty of exposure is to place it where a lot of people are looking. With this important marketing rule in mind, one Japanese advertising service is offering brands a novel way to raise awareness to their business – placing advertising stickers on the bare thighs of young girls.
[...] Japanese PR company Absolute Territory PR has begun paying young women to wear advertising stickers on their "absolute territory" – the part of their thighs between the edge of their miniskirts and their high socks. Apparently this area of the female thigh is very popular with Japanese men, as evidenced by the fact that it even has its own Facebook page.
But wait! There's more...
Farmer Uses Sheep as Living Billboards
English farmer, James Metcalfe, has brought a whole new meaning to the term "branding", after using his sheep to advertise a business venture.
After authorities denied his request to erect billboards near the A1 highway, because they could distract drivers, Metcalfe, from Dalton, North Yorkshier, decided to advertise his turf company using 20 of his sheep as living banners. Sheep marker comes in spray cans so it was quite easy to write Tyas Turf on the oblivious animals, and since the fields they graze on are right next to the A1, they're just as good as any billboards.
February 23, 2013
Value is subjective
Vintage porn? I think it's funny that people add up their costs for something and then call that the value of the thing.
Earlie Johnson's vintage porn collection stolen
MUSKEGON, Mich. (WZZM) - A lakeshore man says it's taken him years, and thousands of dollars to assemble the collection of vintage pornography stolen from his house.
Earlie Johnson says he arrived home Tuesday afternoon to find his back door was kicked in. Three flat-screen TVs were taken, along with his stockpile of DVDs. [...]
Angela Morton, Johnson's fiancé says she first realized the adult film collection was missing. "I went in the bedroom and I told him 'oh you really getting ready to be mad.' He said why? I said 'all your porn is gone,'" said Morton.
"I had a sinking felling because my porn collection is valuable, man," Johnson told WZZM 13.
Johnson collects rare performances by black adult film stars that were difficult for him to find and impossible to replace. He says the stolen pornography collection is worth $7,500, much more than the televisions that were taken.
H.T. Paul B
February 21, 2013
There's an app for that (10)
Ghost writer: New app to keep you tweeting after death
A new application will soon allow users to keep posting Twitter updates from beyond the grave, independently using intricate knowledge of your online character to create a virtual continuation of your personality after you die.
"When your heart stops beating, you'll keep tweeting," says the new application's tagline.
'LivesOn' will let users pursue 'life after death' on their social media profiles, letting the deceased communicate with loved ones. LivesOn will keep posting after you kick the bucket, following the example of the DeadSocial platform.
[...] The service will utilize advanced analysis of your main Twitter feed, to carefully select appropriate subjects, likes, or articles that would have been likely to interest you, posting them on your behalf for your friends to read.
[...] Users of LivesOn can even nominate an 'executor' to their LivesOn will, who will decide whether to keep the account 'live'.
February 20, 2013
Nice work if you can get it (9)
5 Bizarre Workers' Comp Claims That Were Actually Successful
#5. A Woman Breaks a Lamp With Her Face Mid-Coitus
In 2007, an Australian woman filed for workers' compensation benefits after being hit in the face by a lamp that she ripped from the wall while having violent sex in a hotel room on a business trip (this is the only kind of sex that is ever had in hotel rooms).
Her employers initially rejected the claim, as well they should have, on the grounds that sex was "not an ordinary incident of an overnight stay." However, a federal judge overturned the decision, arguing that "no approval, express or implied, of the respondent's conduct was required."
February 19, 2013
Yeah, quantum mechanics is weird but...
Prof Strips, Shows 9/11 Footage, Impales Stuffed Animal (VIDEO)
A science professor at Columbia University on Monday began a quantum mechanics lecture by stripping into his boxers and eating a banana while rap music played in the background.
Then it got weird.
The professor, Emlyn Hughes, proceeded to redress himself in black, complete with sunglasses, and hug himself on stage at the front of the classroom, a large theater.
As Hughes sat in the fetal position, two "actors" dressed in ninja costumes walked onstage and placed white stuffed animals – lambs – on stools before the audience, according to a student-recorded video of the incident posted on Vimeo.com by "Bwog," a campus news website run by Columbia students.
The ninjas blindfolded the lambs, then a ninja impaled one of the stuffed animals with a long sword and banged it against the stool – right as an image of a plane hitting one of the Twin Towers on 9/11 started rolling on a large screen behind the performance.
H.T. Jeff G
February 18, 2013
Pants optional. Dash cams not.
Why Almost Everyone in Russia Has a Dash Cam
How is it possible that a dozen different motorists around the Russian city of Chelyabinsk were able to capture video of a massive meteor flying through the sky? Because almost everyone in Russia has a dash-mounted video camera in their car.
The sheer size of the country, combined with lax — and often corrupt — law enforcement, and a legal system that rarely favors first-hand accounts of traffic collisions has made dash cams all but a requirement for motorists.
"You can get into your car without your pants on, but never get into a car without a dash cam," Aleksei Dozorov, a motorists' rights activist in Russia told Radio Free Europe last year.
February 15, 2013
Special delivery (3)
This College Student Founded A Startup Delivering Emergency Condoms On Campus
By day, Kyle McCabe is a sophomore student at the College of New Jersey in Ewing Township.
By night, he's the president of his very own startup called "Condam," which is short for "Condom Ambulance."
McCabe describes Condam as an "emergency contraceptive delivery service" – hence the flashing siren on his head during deliveries.
Students can place orders online at Condam.net, and they can choose from a wide selection of condom types and flavors.
February 14, 2013
I'll bet you didn't know
The world's most experienced penis reattachment surgeons can be found in Thailand...
"... where, during the 1970s, an estimated one hundred vengeful Thai wives, spurred by media coverage of a prominent 1973 case, sliced off the penises of their adulterous husbands as they slept. [...] The most serious complication, in the Thai attacks, was infection. Two of the wives flushed the penises down the toilet, forcing their husbands to grope for their lost manhood inside the septic tank. (Incredibly, both were found, cleaned, cleaned some more, and reattached.) More commonly, the women would hurl the penis out the window. In the cases described in 'Surgical Management of an Epidemic of Penile Amputations in Siam,' all the recovered penises were 'grossly contaminated.' Better that than eaten by livestock. Many rural Thai homes are elevated on pilings, with the family's pigs, chickens, and ducks tending to mill about seeking shade in the space underneath. It is not, oddly, the pigs, but rather the ducks, that the castrated Thai must worry about. The paper does not provide the exact number of penises eaten by ducks, but the author says there have been enough over the years to prompt the coining of a popular saying: 'I better get home or the ducks will have something to eat.'"
Via Althouse (with a tip o' the hat to Jeff G).
February 13, 2013
You'll never guess where this happened (2)
Unicorns' Existence Proven, Says North Korea
You can be forgiven for thinking that unicorns only exist in medieval fables and modern-day cartoons. North Korean scientists say you are wrong.
On Thursday, the Korean Central News Agency (KCNA), the North Korea's government mouthpiece, said scientists "reconfirmed" the location of the burial site of the unicorn ridden by King Dongmyeong, the founding father of the ancient Korean kingdom of Goguryeo (37 BC-668 AD).
The unicorn's grave was rediscovered near a temple in the capital Pyongyang, with a rectangular rock engraved with the words 'Unicorn Lair' at its entrance, according to the report. The report did not elaborate on what further evidence of the royal unicorn's existence was discovered.
February 12, 2013
You'll never guess where this happened
Kerry Councillors call for permits to allow rural drink-driving
Kerry County Councillors have backed a motion calling for a permit system to be introduced which would allow rural people drink in moderation and drive.
The motion from Councillor Danny Healy-Rae was passed this afternoon 5 votes to 3 with the remainder of the 27 councillors either absent from the vote or abstaining.
Councillor Healy-Rae is calling on the Minister for Justice to bring in legislation which would allow Gardai issue permits to people living in isolated rural areas.
February 11, 2013
It's raining spiders
Think Nemo's Bad? In Brazil It's Raining Spiders
What's that? You're worried about a little snow falling on your head? How adorable.
Meanwhile, in Brazil, it's raining spiders.
Footage posted online yesterday shows thousands of spiders "falling from the sky" in the southern Brazilian town of Santo Antônio da Platina.
Video at the link
February 07, 2013
An unusual choice for a weapon
Death by cunnilingus
Look, I do not relish making light of attempted murder. But sometimes you just need to write about a really crazy attempted murder.
A Brazilian woman has been accused of trying to kill her husband by putting poison in her vagina and asking him to have oral sex with her.
The intended victim — identified only as a 43-year-old man from Sao de Jose Rio Preto – knew something was going on when he noticed an unfamiliar odor coming from his wife's freshly poisoned nether region.
But here's the thing about vaginas, as this woman soon learned: They are very porous.
Realizing that his wife was probably absorbing a majority of the poison she had intended to kill him with, he brought her to the hospital and saved her life.
February 06, 2013
Action figures of some US Presidents as Hollywood monsters.
February 05, 2013
It Takes Planning, Caution to Avoid Being 'It'
Group of Men Have Played Game of Tag for 23 Years; Hiding in Bushes, Cars
Earlier this month, Brian Dennehy started a new job as chief marketing officer of Nordstrom Inc. In his first week, he pulled aside a colleague to ask a question: How hard it is for a nonemployee to enter the building?
Mr. Dennehy doesn't have a particular interest in corporate security. He just doesn't want to be "It."
Mr. Dennehy and nine of his friends have spent the past 23 years locked in a game of "Tag."
It started in high school when they spent their morning break darting around the campus of Gonzaga Preparatory School in Spokane, Wash. [...]
The game they play is fundamentally the same as the schoolyard version: One player is "It" until he tags someone else. But men in their 40s can't easily chase each other around the playground, at least not without making people nervous, so this tag has a twist. There are no geographic restrictions and the game is live for the entire month of February. The last guy tagged stays "It" for the year.
February 04, 2013
Zen of profanity
Cash & carry
Bank Robber Uses Test Drive as Get-Away
It's was a Chrysler 5th Avenue with only 64,000 miles for $2,200. One sweet ride. But police say when Gail Castle came to buy a Manteca man's car, she took him on a trip he will never forget.
"She said 'would you trust me to drive the car?' I said I wouldn't trust you to back it out of the driveway," said the Manteca man who didn't want to be identified.
They both got in the car, for what the man thought was going to be a short drive down the block. But he says Castle eventually asked him to take her to the bank, where she would get the cash to buy the car.
He did, taking Castle to the Bank of America in downtown Manteca. The bank was crowded, so the man says he was surprised when Castle came out just a few minutes later, flashing him a purse stuffed with bills.
They headed back to the man's home to complete the deal. But they only got so far.
January 31, 2013
Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here
Japanese Restaurant Uses Dirt as the Main Ingredient for Its Expensive Dishes
While most chefs work hard to make sure no dirt winds up in their food, at French restaurant Ne Quittez Pas, in Tokyo, Japan, dirt is actually used as a key ingredient.
Mind you, this isn't just any kind of dirt. It's a special black soil from Kanuma, Tochigi Prefecture, that's actually been tested for safety, but it's still the thing most people use to grow plants in. So how did dirt wind up on the menu of this respectable venue? Apparently, Chef Toshio Tanabe once won a cooking competition with his signature dirt sauce, and from that point on he put together an entire menu based on the unusual ingredient. Now the restaurant is offering dishes priced as high as $110 with Kanuma dirt in them.
January 29, 2013
There's an app for that (7)
Penis-Measuring iPhone App Promises to Quantify Your Shortcomings
Here's an entry that's likely to get booted from Apple's App Store, but not before it leaves a trail of insecurity in its wake—the Condom Size app from VSM Enterprises, which claims to accurately measure not just the length of the male penis but also its girth.
Talk about a real junk app, am I right?
But seriously, Condom Size is billed as a useful, ahem, tool that helps men can select the proper-sized condoms for their particular brand of equipment. And that's all it will ever be used for, we're quite sure.
(What that app needs is this -- definitely NSFW -- tune.)
January 28, 2013
Real woman of genius
Prostitution suspect lured into police HQ
SALEM -- The Civic Center in Salem looks like a nondescript building on the outside. It's the hub for city business that includes the police department.
"There's signs all over the Civic Center directing you to the police department," said Lt. Dave Okada.
Apparently those signs are not very visible. Two weeks ago, according to Okada, a detective on the street crimes unit posed as a "John" on line. He met a Portland woman who agreed to come to Salem and perform sex acts with the officers in exchange for money. [...]
That is where police arrested Smith. She missed several signs indicating she was at the actual police department. She walked by three uniformed officers.
January 26, 2013
+10 for style
Knox woman leads deputies on lengthy pursuit, crash; never drops her beer
KNOXVILLE — Despite allegedly striking a deputy's cruiser head-on, then running it off the road and leading authorities on 10-minute chase spanning two counties before crashing, she apparently never dropped her beer.
Trishia Moody, 26, of Knoxville, is charged with first offense DUI and a host of other offenses following the Monday night debacle, according to the Knox County Sheriff's Office.
January 25, 2013
A real desperado
Boy fakes own kidnapping to stop parents from meeting teacher
It probably seemed like a good idea at the time. An 11-year-old Spanish boy faked his own kidnapping, according to the U.K.'s Guardian, because his mom and dad were set to meet his teacher later that day—and he didn't want to be around for the aftermath.
Needless to say, things didn't go as planned. The boy sent a text message to his father—a police officer in the northern town of Xinzo de Limia—saying he had been kidnapped and stuffed in the back of a car. His father called him immediately. The boy said he didn't know where he was being taken. He then faked phone static and hung up. Chaos ensued. [...]
The boy apparently had been terrified about the parent-teacher conference. "The child's poor school scores in recent weeks appear to explain a form of behavior that no one in Xinzo could understand," the Guardian said, explaining the quote was from a report in Spain's Voz de Galicia newspaper.
January 24, 2013
The Shovel Fairy
Cleaning Fairy' busted while shoveling
ELYRIA, Ohio, Jan. 23 (UPI) -- Police in Ohio said a woman previously arrested for breaking into homes to clean them was arrested while shoveling strangers' driveways.
Elyria Police said they responded to a report of a "suspicious female" shoveling a home's driveway without permission Tuesday and they arrived to find Susan Warren, 53, WOIO-TV, Cleveland, reported Wednesday.
Warren was dubbed "The Cleaning Fairy" when she was busted in November 2012 for allegedly breaking into a house and cleaning it, leaving behind a handwritten bill for $75.
January 23, 2013
It's news to me too
Cheese fire causes traffic meltdown in Norway tunnel
(Reuters) - A truckload of burning cheese has closed a road tunnel in Arctic Norway for the last six days.
Some 27 metric tons of flaming brown cheese (brunost), a Norwegian delicacy, blocked off a three-km (1.9 mile) tunnel near the northern coastal town of Narvik when it caught fire last Thursday. The fire was finally put out on Monday.
"This high concentration of fat and sugar is almost like petrol if it gets hot enough," said Viggo Berg, a policeman.
Brown cheese is made from whey, contains up to 30 percent fat and has a caramel taste.
"I didn't know that brown cheese burns so well," said Kjell Bjoern Vinje at the Norwegian Public Roads Administration.
January 22, 2013
It must have been her birthday
Drunk driver didn't know she was naked, Sparta cops say
[...] Sparta police say a drunken, seemingly confused and almost completely nude woman crashed into a home's stone retaining wall early Friday morning.
At 12:53 a.m., a resident of Grove Terrace, in the Lake Mohawk section of the township, contacted police to say a white Volkswagen Jetta had just crashed into a stone retaining wall, then fled the scene, Sgt. John-Paul Beebe said.
Officer Joseph Pensado found the vehicle, and stopped it on West Shore Trail, Beebee said. Inside, he found a surprise — the driver, 36-year-old Catherine Giaquinto of Warwick, N.Y., was wearing only an unzipped jacket, Beebe said.
Pensado asked Giaquinto why she was driving in the nude, and "Giaquinto denied being completely naked," Beebe said. [...]
Pensado suspected Giaquinto was under the influence of alcohol — her speech was badly slurred and mostly unintelligible, she couldn't remember if she'd been involved in an accident and she didn't know where she was going, Beebe said.
Pensado saw a dress and other clothing in the rear passenger seat, retrieved the items and told Giaquinto to get dressed, Beebe said. It took about 10 minutes for her to do so, and when she finally did, she put her dress on inside-out, he said.
January 21, 2013
Nice work if you can get it (8)
Verizon finds US developer outsourced his job to China so he could surf Reddit and watch cat videos
No, this is not the Onion, it's not April Fools, and I'm not making this up. All of this comes straight from Verizon, or more specifically, a case study from 2012 outlined by its security team.
The story goes a little something like this. A developer at a US-based critical infrastructure company, referred to as "Bob," was caught last year outsourcing his work to China, paying someone else less than one fifth of his six-figure salary to do his job. As a result, Bob had a lot of time on his hands; in fact, during the investigation, his browsing history revealed this was his typical work day:
9:00 a.m. – Arrive and surf Reddit for a couple of hours. Watch cat videos.
11:30 a.m. – Take lunch.
1:00 p.m. – Ebay time.
2:00 – ish p.m Facebook updates – LinkedIn.
4:30 p.m. – End of day update e-mail to management.
5:00 p.m. – Go home.
[...] At the unnamed company, he apparently received excellent performance reviews for the last several years in a row, even being hailed the best developer in the building: his code was clean, well-written, and submitted in a timely fashion.
H.T. Jeff G
January 16, 2013
Facebook fantasy fail
They look like a cute couple.
Couple sharing same name have split
The couple who met, fell in love and married over a shared name, have now filed for divorce. Kelly Hildebrandt and Kelly Hildebrandt have gone their separate ways.
The pair with matching names made news when they tied the knot in 2009. But the couple came to realize that sharing a name wasn't enough to keep them together. "She's a Florida girl, and I'm a Texas guy," Kelly Carl told Miami news station NBC 6. "We really did come from pretty different worlds."
The romance started in the same world: Facebook. One night in 2008, Kelly Katrina was curious and bored. Wondering if anyone on the website shared her name, she typed it into the search engine on the social networking site and up popped Kelly Carl.
January 15, 2013
Just use Photoshop
'Stand closer to the rhino' results in grave wound
JOHANNESBURG (AP) -- When do you not listen to the African wildlife expert? When he tells you to stand closer to the rhino. [...]
The Beeld newspaper reported Tuesday that Chantal Beyer said the game park owner snapped pictures and suggested that she "stand just a little bit closer" seconds before the attack. [...]
The paper said that just after the photo was snapped, the rhino attacked, and its horn penetrated Beyers' chest from behind, resulting in a collapsed lung and broken ribs, the paper said.
January 14, 2013
Ely bakery finds success with Crapola granola
A party joke has grown into a serious venture -- or as serious as you can be, when you've named your signature product Crapola granola -- for Brian and Andrea Strom, the husband-and-wife team behind Brainstorm Bakery in Ely, Minn.
The Stroms had never owned a business or given it much thought before Brian's late-night wisecrack about making cranberry-apple granola and calling it Crapola. [...]
Initial sales at a local farmers market and arts festival were encouraging, and an on-air mention by Jay Leno just a few months after the product launched in 2007 generated wider interest. Flush with that early success, Crapola now is in more than 100 retail locations in Minnesota, Wisconsin, Iowa, South Dakota, California and Oregon.
January 10, 2013
People of Walmart
Woman Rams Pedestrian With Her Car In Altercation Over Parking Space
What started as a kind gesture for a pregnant friend ended with a road-rage altercation in a Walmart parking lot.
A Georgia teenager wanted to save a parking space for a pregnant friend, so she wouldn't need to walk too far to the store. But before her friend arrived, a woman driving an SUV arrived and wanted the spot.
A dispute ensued, and it ended when the woman rammed the teenager out of the spot with her car, according to police.
"She told her to move and then she pulled into the parking spot and hit her with the tire of the vehicle," Bartow County Sheriff's Office investigator Jonathan White told the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. "They did see scuff marks on the victim's knee, which was consistent with the height of the tire during that incident."
Deputies arrested Angela Cornett, a member of the Bartow County school board.
January 09, 2013
Roger the 'sounds preposterous'
AIG, saved by US bailout, now considers suing US government
The directors of insurance giant AIG plan to meet Wednesday to consider joining a lawsuit against the US government, arguing that federal officials imposed unfair terms on the company while rescuing it from collapse during the financial crisis.
On its face, the idea sounds preposterous.
January 08, 2013
Man hires 'assassin' to kill son's WoW avatar
Even paranoiacs have enemies - and if you find that strangers keep attacking you in online games, there just may be a reason.
According to reports, a man in China became so exasperated by the amount of time that his unemployed son was spending playing World of Warcraft that he decided to do something about it. It seems that the lad had quit a software development job after just three months, and was doing nothing to find another one.
Showing, perhaps, a rather limited understanding of how these things work, Mr Feng hoped that killing the 23-year-old's character off repeatedly would put him off playing altogether - and hired virtual assassins to do just that.
January 04, 2013
'Paid plaintiff' - nice work if you can get, I suppose.
Animal rights group settles lawsuit with Ringling
WASHINGTON—An animal rights group will pay Ringling Bros. and Barnum & Bailey Circus $9.3 million to settle a lawsuit the circus filed after courts found that activists paid a former circus worker for his help in claiming the circus abused elephants.
The American Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals said Friday it was not admitting any wrongdoing in settling the lawsuit. The New York-based animal rights group was one of several involved in a lawsuit filed in 2000 against the circus' owner, Feld Entertainment Inc., claiming elephants were abused. Courts later found that the animal rights activists had paid a former Ringling barn helper involved in the lawsuit at least $190,000, making him "essentially a paid plaintiff" who lacked credibility.
January 02, 2013
Splish splash (3)
Nearly a dozen people rescued from icy CA lake
WRIGHTWOOD, Calif. - December 29, 2012 (WPVI) -- A scary slip on thin ice led to chain reaction panic in California, with close to a dozen people falling through the ice.
The desperate cries for help began when one man on a sledding excursion in California fell through the ice.
Others frantically tried to rescue him, but one-by-one they plunged into the icy water themselves.
December 31, 2012
Here's one of Miss Cellania's Top 20 Weird News Stories of 2012
The Fork in the Road is Taken
The headlines just write themselves.
A six-foot-tall fork appeared in Carlsbad, California, in the traffic island at the intersection of Levante Street and Anillo Way on Tuesday [October 16]. The unnamed artist is a 62-year-old retired teacher who said he was impressed by the joke in The Muppet Movie in which the characters encounter a giant silverware fork when they are looking for a fork in the road. Carlsbad residents got a kick out of the sculpture, but a city crew removed it on Wednesday. Another resident erected a sign in its place that says "Why the fork not?" which the city also removed. Then residents then began taping real, normal-sized forks to a nearby sign. A spokesperson for the city said the sculpture is a code violation
December 28, 2012
What's that smell? (2)
Formal Reprimand Issued To Flatulent Federal Worker
DECEMBER 21--A federal employee was formally reprimanded this month for excessive workplace flatulence, a sanction that was delivered to him in a five-page letter that actually included a log of representative dates and times when he was recorded "releasing the awful and unpleasant odor" in his Baltimore office.
In a December 10 letter accusing him of "conduct unbecoming a federal officer," the Social Security Administration employee was informed that his "uncontrollable flatulence" had created an "intolerable" and "hostile" environment for coworkers, several of whom have lodged complaints with supervisors.
December 25, 2012
Any dose would be an overdose IMO
Brussels sprouts 'overdose' hospitalised man at Christmas, report reveals
A man from Ayrshire had to be hospitalised after eating too many Brussels sprouts last Christmas, it has emerged.
The traditional Christmas vegetable contain lots of vitamin K which promotes blood clotting.
However, this counteracted the effect of anticoagulants the man was taking because he had a mechanical heart. [...]
The case was reported in a festive edition of the Medical Journal of Australia.
December 24, 2012
Ho F'ing Ho
Judge Rules Louisiana Woman Can Design Christmas Lights To Flip Off Neighbors
A district court judge rule this week that a Louisiana woman could hang her Christmas lights in the shape of a middle finger, as a nasty holiday "greeting" to her neighbors. Police initially threatened to arrest Sarah Childs for her illuminated display, but with the help of the ACLU, Child won her suit against the city.
December 21, 2012
Nathan Grindal Kicked Out Of Darts Tournament For Looking Like Jesus
Looking like Jesus turned out to be a cross to bear for Nathan Grindal, whose resemblance to the King of Kings caused him to be kicked out of a darts tournament in Somerset, Great Britain.
Grindal, 33, who has long hair and a full beard he started growing four months ago, was sitting in the crowd at the tournament when some nearby spectators began to chant, "Jesus! Jesus!" during the final match between Phil Taylor and Kim Huybrechts, ABC News reported.
Others joined in the chant, until most of the 4,500 people in the arena were chanting the Almighty's name.
It got so raucous that security staff decided to remove Grindal, fearing his presence was upsetting the concentration of the players, as well as hurting the enjoyment of the viewers at home, ThisIsSomerset.co.uk reported.
December 19, 2012
Meet Mr. HeadsetsDotCom
Florida Man Auctions Off His Last Name For $45,000
Jacksonville, FL – Jason Sadler has come up with a rather clever way to make some extra cash. The Florida man offered to legally change his last name for all of 2013 to the name of the company that offers him the most money. Sadler's last name auction ended earlier this week. HeadsetsDotCom reportedly paid $45,500 as the last name auction winner.
Beginning on January 1, Jason Sadler will officially be known as Jason HeadsetsDotCom for an entire year.
December 18, 2012
You'll sleep when you're dead? Think again...
Woman charged for sex with human skeleton
A woman in western Sweden who was arrested after police found skeletons in her apartment has now been charged for using the bones as sex toys, a hobby she claimed was motivated by an interest in history.
"I have never heard of a case like this and neither have my colleagues, so I dare to say that this kind of case is quite uncommon," prosecutor Kristina Ehrenborg-Staffas told The Local.
A 37-year-old woman, who was arrested in September, was formally charged on Tuesday at the Gothenburg District Court for the crime of "violating the peace of the dead" (brott mot griftesfriden).
December 17, 2012
Where were Larry and Moe?
Man ironed face when phone rang
A Polish man is regretting trying to impress his wife by doing the housework - after ironing his face when the phone rang.
Tomas Paczkowski, 32, from Elbag, was determined to show wife Lila that he was just as good around the home as she is.
"I decided to do the ironing while she was out at work, just to prove a point," he explained. [...]
"Trouble was, I got so involved in the boxing that I wasn't really thinking about what I was doing."
"So when the phone rang I picked up the iron by mistake and pressed it to my ear. The pain was incredible."
And Mr Paczkowski added insult to injury when he sprinted to put cold water on the burn - and ran straight into the bathroom door.
December 13, 2012
That's a pretty powerful gas cannon that can shoot a 2.5 pound can over 500 feet.
Border Patrol: Smugglers Use Cannon To Launch Cans Of Marijuana Into US
YUMA, Ariz. (AP) — U.S. Border Patrol agents say smugglers have come up with yet another creative way to get drugs in the country — a cannon.
Authorities say 33 cans of marijuana were spotted Friday in a field near where the Colorado River crosses the U.S.-Mexico border. They believe the cans were launched about 500 feet into the U.S. using a pneumatic-powered cannon.
After searching the area, agents recovered a carbon dioxide tank.
Mexican authorities were also notified and searched their side of the border.
The 85 pounds of marijuana found in the cans had an estimated value of $42,500.
December 11, 2012
What's that smell?
Eau de Pizza Hut
All true celebrities deserve their own perfume and Pizza Hut is no different!
What began as a fun Facebook post - with Pizza Hut asking fans just how much they loved the smell of a box of Pizza Hut pizza being opened - has materialized into Pizza Hut becoming the latest celebrity to launch its own perfume.
Introducing Pizza Hut Perfume - a brand new fragrance from Pizza Hut Canada boasting top notes of freshly baked, hand-tossed dough.
December 10, 2012
18th-century French chateau bulldozed 'by mistake'
PARIS – Residents of a sleepy French village in Bordeaux have been left dumbfounded after discovering their local 18th-century chateau was completely bulldozed "by mistake."
The mayor's office in Yvrac said Wednesday that workers who were hired to renovate the grand 140,000-square-foot manor and raze a small building on the same estate in southwest France mixed them up.
"The Chateau de Bellevue was Yvrac's pride and joy," said former owner Juliette Marmie. "The whole village is in shock. How can this construction firm make such a mistake?"
December 07, 2012
Stuck in the middle with you (2)
Great pic of this at the link.
Cry free-dumb! Jailbreak thwarted when overweight prisoner gets stuck in wall during attempted escape
An overweight inmate's attempts to escape jail ended in humiliation - when he got stuck in a hole he helped smash in his cell wall.
Firefighters had to free 16-stone (224 pounds - JdJ) Rafael Valadao when his belly stopped him making his break for freedom.
Prison guards compounded his embarrassment by standing round laughing as the operation to release him swung into action.
Authorities were last night hunting for a thinner cell-mate who managed to escape first.
Two other inmates waiting behind Rafael also saw their hopes of freedom thwarted by the unexpected hitch in their escape bid.
December 06, 2012
Blind drunk. Literally!
Whisky saves man's eyesight after being blinded by vodka
Alcohol doesn't tend to make you see more clearly, but in Denis Duthie's case a bottle of whisky literally saved his sight.
The 65-year-old Taranaki man suddenly went blind when vodka he had been drinking reacted with his diabetes medication. He regained his sight only after hospital staff administered expensive whisky.
December 05, 2012
This one shouldn't take the jury long
Robbery suspect brags on YouTube
Authorities say a woman accused of robbing a bank in eastern Nebraska posted a video on YouTube bragging about the robbery.
York County Sheriff Dale Radcliff said a copy of the video will be turned in as evidence against Hannah Sabata of Stromsburg. The 19-year-old was arrested on Wednesday in connection with a robbery the day before at the Cornerstone Bank branch in Waco. She faces robbery and theft charges.
The video was posted the same day Sabata was arrested. It shows a woman holding handwritten signs that say she robbed a bank and stole a car. The woman then holds a large bundle of cash, what she says is $6,256, in front of the camera. She also holds up what appears to be a bag of marijuana.
The video caption says, "I just stole a car and robbed a bank. Now I'm rich, I can pay off my college financial aid, and tomorrow I'm going for a shopping spree."
December 03, 2012
Mideast men go under knife for manly mustaches
(CNN) -- Thick, handsome mustaches have long been prized by men throughout the Middle East as symbols of masculine virility, wisdom and maturity.
But not all mustaches are created equal, and in recent years, increasing numbers of Middle Eastern men have been going under the knife to attain the perfect specimen.
Turkish plastic surgeon Selahattin Tulunay says the number of mustache implants he performs has boomed in the last few years. He now performs 50-60 of the procedures a month, on patients who hail mostly from the Middle East and travel to Turkey as medical tourists.
November 29, 2012
4 internet-inspired baby names
1. The American girl named Hashtag
Last Saturday, a couple gave birth to a baby girl whom, in an homage to Twitter, they reportedly named Hashtag. "Hashtag will likely grow up to be a happy, healthy, beautiful adult woman, but we can't help but think she's going to face a great deal of scrutiny and teasing on the grade-school playgrounds," says Chase Hoffberger at The Daily Dot. Do you think they'll call her Tag for short?
November 28, 2012
What the... ? (2)
Argentine court convicts UNC-CH physics professor of drug smuggling
CHAPEL HILL - The 68-year-old UNC-Chapel Hill physics professor arrested in Argentina early this year after being caught with more than 4 pounds of cocaine hidden in a suitcase has been convicted by an Argentine court.
Paul Frampton, the Oxford-educated Louis D. Rubin Jr. Distinguished Professor of Physics and Astronomy, told investigators he was duped into unknowingly carrying the drugs after being lured first to Bolivia with a promise of meeting a famous bikini model.
November 26, 2012
Crafting with Cat Hair: Cute Handicrafts to Make with Your Cat [Illustrated] [Paperback]
Are your favorite sweaters covered with cat hair? Are there fur balls piled up in every corner of your home? And do you love to make quirky and one-of-a-kind crafting projects? If so, it's time to throw away your lint roller and curl up with your kitty! "Crafting with Cat Hair" shows readers how to transform stray clumps of fur into soft and adorable handicrafts. From kitty tote bags and finger puppets to fluffy cat toys, picture frames, and more, these projects are cat-friendly, eco-friendly, and require no special equipment or training. You can make most of these projects in under an hour-with a little help, of course, from your feline friends!
November 20, 2012
He's got legs, he knows how to use them
Check out the photos at the link
72-Year-Old Grandpa Finds Internet Fame after Modelling Teen Girl Outfits
Photos of a 72-year-old Chinese man modelling stylish clothes for young women have recently went viral online, after his granddaughter posted them on China's largest retail website. What started out as a silly joke turned into a massive advertising campaign for her store.
[...] Liu Xianping, a grandfather from China, is the first elderly male model who reached Internet stardom for modelling girls’ clothes. Liu, 72, has been posing for his granddaughter’s female fashion store on Tmall and although the garments are designed for sweet and cute teen girls, featuring rosy shades, laces and ribbons, he totally pulled it off. His confidence in front of the camera, his slim physique and pair of long skinny legs have apparently gained the admiration of millions and made some girls green with envy. And most importantly, his granddaughter’s store sales have increased 5 times since his pictures went viral.
November 19, 2012
His chequered past
And he's got the 'stache to prove it. (See photo at link.)
District attorney admits to being 1970′s porn star
A district attorney in central New York on Friday admitted to appearing in a number of pornographic films and apologized for lying to the media, according to The Post Standard.
November 15, 2012
You are what you eat (2)
Deodorant Candy Makes People Smell Rosy
Most people probably don't start the day thinking, "Man, life would be so much easier if I could just eat this deodorant instead of wearing it." But there's good news for those people—on the off chance that those people are out there somewhere—because a new candy has come out that promises to make anyone who eats it excrete a floral scent for the next six hours.
There are a lot of foods that can change the way a person smells—garlic and asparagus come to mind—but that effect may finally have been harnessed for good instead of evil. According to Refinery29, Deo Perfume Candy contains rose oil and geraniol, an antioxidant that smells like roses and has been theorized to both fight cancer and repel mosquitos.[...]
The candy is flavored like roses, and when consumed "leaves your skin with a beautiful rose fragrance," according to the company. "Studies showed that when ingested, rose oil exudes aromatic compounds, such as geraniol, through the skin. When evaporating through the skin, geraniol aromatizes it with a beautiful rose fragrance."
November 14, 2012
At Life's End, A Final Home On The (Shooting) Range
Many people keep cremated remains in an urn on the mantle or scatter their loved one's ashes over a sacred place.
Now, a company has pioneered a new twist: putting cremated remains into ammunition.
For $850, Holy Smoke will take cremated remains and put them into various types of shotgun shells and bullets for rifle and pistol shooters. The Stockton, Ala., company was started a year ago by two state game wardens.
Literally and figuratively, Holy Smoke's business is "booming." Clem Parnell, a co-founder, thought the families of the dead should have a livelier method to honor those who enjoyed the outdoors.
"Wouldn't it be cool to put some ash in a shell, to the point of a 250-round case of shells, and all his friends could go out and have a day on the range and celebrate the way this guy used to be?" Parnell says. "The way he was when he was alive — vibrant and enjoying life."
November 12, 2012
Who says there ain't no justice?
Video at the link which shows her getting stopped by police.
U.S. woman ordered to wear 'idiot' sign after driving on sidewalk to avoid stopping for school bus
CLEVELAND — A woman caught on camera driving on a sidewalk to avoid a Cleveland school bus that was unloading children will have to stand at an intersection wearing a sign warning about idiots.
Court records show a Cleveland Municipal Court judge on Monday ordered 32-year-old Shena Hardin to stand at an intersection for two days next week. She will have to wear a sign saying: "Only an idiot drives on the sidewalk to avoid a school bus."
November 09, 2012
Markets in everything (17)
Actually, it sounds like people are offering to trade gas for sex. Who knows whether anyone's taking them up on the trade.
Sandy Gas Woes Continue: People Trading Gas For Sex On Craigslist
NEW YORK (CBSNewYork) - How far would go to get gas?
Long gas stationlines and empty gas pumps have plagued drivers across New York and New Jersey since Superstorm Sandy slammed into the East Coast last Monday, leaving a gas shortage across the region.
Stories of price gouging and fights at gas stations have also been commonplace. But now it seems people — men in particular — are finding new ways to take advantage of gas-seeking Tri-State residents: Sex.
Men have been taking to the personals on Craigslist, trading gasoline for sex. Some of the ads on NewYork.Craigslist.org read as follows:
November 08, 2012
Justin Bieber Gay Sex Doll 'Just-In Beaver' Leaves Teenage Hearthrob 'Incensed'
A gay sex doll apparently modelled on teen popstar Justin Bieber has hit the market for the just £20.
Ingeniously named 'Just-In Beaver', the anatomically-correct doll proclaims itself "the barely legal boy-toy" and boasts that it offers "multiple entry". [...]
Apparently the 18-year-old Baby singer is less than flattered with the likeness though, and has instructed his legal team to get on the case.
A source told The Sun: "Justin is absolutely incensed with this monstrosity.
"He's already set his lawyer on these sickos."
November 06, 2012
Careful around the Secret Service
Des Moines store near Obama rally has a message for the Secret Service
DES MOINES, Iowa—President Barack Obama is planning an outdoor rally here on Monday, but one store within the event's security zone is taking a stand against Secret Service searches inside the shop.
A sign on the window of Raygun, a clothing store that sells quirky T-shirts, tells Secret Service agents who intend to "sweep" the premises before Obama's speech that it does "not consent" to any searches. The sign also added a little humor, too: "It's not that there's anything illegal in here, we just employ several Colombian prostitutes and don't want to tempt you guys," the sign reads [...]
A store clerk told Yahoo News that the sign went up Monday morning, and Obama staffers have asked for its removal. The store is refusing.
Image of the sign here.
November 03, 2012
News from the North
Sweden pays jobless youth to move to Norway
Under a scheme organised by the local authorities in the town of Soderhamn and by Sweden's national employment office, anyone aged between 18 and 28 can volunteer to take a "Job Journey" to Oslo and attempt track down gainful employment.
Those who sign up get a ticket to the Norwegian capital and are put up in an Oslo youth hostel for a month, with Soderhamn council picking up the £20 a night bill. The package also includes on-the-spot guidance on how to get a job in Sweden's northern neighbour.
Sweden Wants Your Trash
Move over Abba, Sweden has found new fame. The small Nordic country is breaking records — in waste. Sweden's program of generating energy from garbage is wildly successful, but recently its success has also generated a surprising issue: There is simply not enough trash.
Only 4 percent of Swedish garbage ends up in a landfill, according to Swedish Waste Management. Due to its efficiency in converting waste to renewable energy, Sweden has recently begun importing around 800,000 tons of trash annually from other countries.
Norway is now paying Sweden to take its garbage. Swedish sights are also set on Bulgaria, Romania and Italy as future trash exporters, as Catarina Ostlund, a senior advisor for the country's environmental protection agency, told PRI
October 22, 2012
Bodyform Responds :: The Truth
Bodyform says sorry for 'lying' to men
A Bodyform video responding to a complaint by a disgruntled boyfriend, that he had been "lied to" by the company's ads, has gone viral on YouTube.
Richard Neill posted a 'complaint' on Bodyform's Facebook page to register his upset at the feminine hygiene company's 'lies' about a woman's time of the month.
"As a child I watched your advertisements with interest as to how at this wonderful time of the month that the female gets to enjoy so many things, I felt a little jealous," he said.
Here's the guy's Facebook post.
October 16, 2012
His master's voice (2)
Man thinks house is being robbed when dog calls cell phone
OREM — Mystery solved: It was the dog, with the phone, in the garden.
Just before 9 a.m. Wednesday, Bruce Gardner, of Orem, called police saying his house was being broken into. He said nobody was home, but he had just received a phone call on his cell phone from his house phone, and he could hear banging and scratching in the phone.
Officers went to Gardner's home, and entered. They investigated, but did not see any evidence of forced entry and nothing appeared out of place. Police couldn't locate the phone, but left after they concluded nothing had been taken.
Several hours after police left, Gardner called back saying he had an explanation for what had happened.
"Apparently his dog had gotten a hold of his cordless home phone and in the midst of chewing on it, it happened to hit 'redial,' called the man's cell phone," said Orem Police Department Sgt. Craig Martinez.
October 12, 2012
What's wrong with this picture?
Police: Man tries to rob bank of $1 in prison bid
NORTHERN CAMBRIA, Pa. - A man tried to rob a bank of $1 because he hoped to be sent to a federal prison nearby, police said.
Jeffrey McMullen, a 50-year-old regular customer of an AmeriServ bank in the western Pennsylvania town of Northern Cambria, handed notes to two tellers Friday demanding a dollar, according to a police complaint reported by The Tribune-Democrat of Johnstown.
The tellers thought it was a joke, police said. [...]
Police say McMullen apparently wanted to be prosecuted federally so he could be taken to a prison in central Pennsylvania. Police could not immediately say why.
October 10, 2012
Yet another reason to avoid Facebook
Why like someone on Facebook when you can hug them
Designers have come up with a jacket that actively gives you a cuddle when someone says they like you on the social network site.
The "Like-A-Hug" jacket inflates when someone clicks on the "Like" button putting a little more reality into virtual reality.
Designed by MIT student Melissa Chow, who said it "allows us to feel the warmth, encouragement, support, or love that we feel when we receive hugs".
October 08, 2012
City Attorney Drops Joint in Court, Gets Arrested, Angers Wife
Of all the places to unintentionally drop an illegal drug, inside of a courtroom right in front of a police officer has to be among the worst.
Which is exactly what happened to New Orleans assistant city attorney Jason Cantrell. The prosecutor found himself on the other side of the law when a marijuana cigarette fell out of his pocket and onto the floor during a discussion he was having with two NOPD officers inside of the Orleans Parish Magistrate. [...]
He's also caused quite a problem for his wife, who is currently running for New Orleans City Council. LaToya Cantrell is staying in the race, but she was forced to distance herself from her hubby's goofy crime.
September 03, 2012
And a lot more like that at the link...
A LABOR DAY LAMENT: NOTHING WORKS FOR ME
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I just couldn't concentrate on the same old boring rind, so I got canned. Next, I became a lumberjack, but I just couldn't hack it, so they gave me the ax. I was employed at a diet center, but I got downsized. I became a baker, but I turned out to be a loafer and couldn't make enough dough. Then I opened a doughnut shop, but I soon got tired of the hole business.
September 01, 2012
Lemme at 'em
Police: Drunken man picks fights downtown, at jail and hospital
A reportedly drunken man who police said was randomly picking fights and hitting people in downtown Gainesville was arrested early Thursday morning and then caused a ruckus at the jail and at a hospital, according to an arrest report.
August 28, 2012
Turn it down
SA couple face $4000 fine for loud sex
AN Adelaide couple face being fined $4000 for having sex a little too loudly.
The passionate approach to love by Jessica Angel and Colin MacKenzie has upset their neighbours.
Now they face a hefty fine for breaching the Environmental Protection Act of 1993, News Ltd reports.
Under South Australian law, noise is classified as a form of pollution and that includes vibration.
The couple from the Adelaide suburb of Black Forest are reportedly the first in South Australia to be charged with breaching those environmental laws.
Police patrols have visited the couple's unit 20 times since April, News Ltd said.
August 24, 2012
Who hates passwords?
We should follow XKCD's suggestion.
Many Americans would rather scrub toilet than create new password
Are you tired of trying to remember all your online passwords?
You're not alone, according to a new survey, which found 38 percent of online Americans would rather clean a toilet or do other household chores than have to create another username and password.
Another 38 percent said they think it would be easier to solve world peace than try to remember all their passwords.
August 23, 2012
Pimp your ride (3)
Israeli biblical park outfits donkeys with wi-fi
HOSHAYA, Israel: It was nothing like this 3000 years ago.
An Israeli attraction meant to immerse tourists in an authentic, ancient biblical experience has outfitted its donkeys with wi-fi.
At the historical park of Kfar Kedem in northern Israel, visitors decked out in biblical robes and headdresses ride donkeys through the rolling hills of the Galilee, learning how people lived in Old Testament times.
American tourist Ella uses an iPad while riding a wi-fi-outfitted donkey lead by her brother Aaron, in Kfar Kedem, a biblical reenactment park in the village of Hoshaya in the Galilee, northern Israel.
Now they can also surf the web while touring the land of the Bible on one of the oldest forms of transportation. A device slung around the donkey's neck like a feedbag is actually a wi-fi hotspot.
August 22, 2012
Morning sickness cure
Study: Oral Sex Cures Morning Sickness
ALBANY, N.Y. (CBSDC) – Pregnant women have used natural remedies such as a teaspoon of ginger or a mint to help battle morning sickness. But now, one medical professional believes you can add oral sex to that list.
According to Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at SUNY-Albany, the best way to cure morning sickness during pregnancy is sperm.
But not just any sperm, it should be the sperm of the person who got you pregnant. [...]
Gallup says the best cure for morning sickness is to ingest the father's semen so her body can build up a tolerance to what's already in her body.
H.T. Jeff G & Paul B
August 21, 2012
Mark you calendars
Mark Your Calendars: August 26 Is National Go Topless Day
I suspect National Go Topless Day on August 26 will be celebrated the usual way people celebrate things like National Go Topless Day, which is that the only people who will go topless will be those you would rather keep their shirts on. But if you live in Washington, DC., Seattle, Miami, Columbus, Asheville, Honolulu, Chicago, or other cities hosting an event, it's time to keep a bottle of bleach handy for your eyes because there's a National Go Topless Day rally coming to your city. (The official website helpfully shows you locations via a BoobMap with icons of boobies serving as pins. Seriously.)"
August 20, 2012
Smile when you say nothing
Parkinson's man arrested at cycling 'for not smiling'
A PARKINSON'S sufferer who was arrested during the Olympic cycle races in Surrey has questioned why he was dragged to the ground for "not smiling".
Mark Worsfold, 54, was sat on a wall in Leatherhead as the riders approached at around 3pm on Saturday, July 28 - but officers decided his manner was a cause for concern, and he was hauled off to Reigate police station.
August 17, 2012
Burden of Goof
I sue! It's 'burden of goof' in city's most ludicrous, lawyerless cases
About a fifth of all cases clogging up the city's civil federal courthouses each year are filed by people with fools for clients — themselves.
"We have a lot of frivolous cases," veteran Judge Frederic Block said of self-filed lawsuits. "On the other hand, all the judges feel that you have to just grin and bear it . . . they do deserve their day in court." [...]
Some of those cases were downright weird.
There's the Brooklyn widow who believes she's been targeted by a demonic cult and has filed nearly 100 lawsuits over the years; the Queens man who says the government has been poisoning his food; and the Manhattan man who recently claimed to be author Herman Melville's nephew — and therefore entitled to all royalties from "Moby-Dick."
H.T. Jeff G.
August 16, 2012
They're NASA and they know it
Biter bit (4)
Hungary Far-Right Leader Discovers Jewish Roots
BUDAPEST, Hungary (AP) — As a rising star in Hungary's far-right Jobbik Party, Csanad Szegedi was notorious for his incendiary comments on Jews: He accused them of "buying up" the country, railed about the "Jewishness" of the political elite and claimed Jews were desecrating national symbols.
Then came a revelation that knocked him off his perch as ultra-nationalist standard-bearer: Szegedi himself is a Jew.
Following weeks of Internet rumors, Szegedi acknowledged in June that his grandparents on his mother's side were Jews — making him one too under Jewish law, even though he doesn't practice the faith. His grandmother was an Auschwitz survivor and his grandfather a veteran of forced labor camps.
Since then, the 30-year-old has become a pariah in Jobbik and his political career is on the brink of collapse. He declined to be interviewed for this story.
August 14, 2012
What a keepsake
It sounds worse than bronzed baby shoes.
Japanese company will 3D print your fetus for $1,275
New parents have a strong urge to collect everything they can from their child's early life — from photos and videos to hair and fingernails. Catering to this demand to immortalize infancy is a new product from Japanese firm Fasotec and Hiroo Ladies Clinic — a 3D printed model of your little bundle of joy in utero.
Called Tenshi no Katachi or "Shape of an Angel," the product is based on a digital model of the mother's torso built from CT or MRI scans, reports DigInfo TV.
Via Carpe Diem
August 09, 2012
Sign of confusion
Metaphor Is Not a Crime
An Occupy Easton protester faces an attempted bank robbery charge following an arrest at an organized event at a bank – during which the "Occupier" was holding a sign that reportedly read "You're being robbed."
According to The Express-Times, Dave Gorczynski allegedly held cardboard signs outside a Wells Fargo Branch that read, "You're being robbed," while the other said, "Give a man a gun, he can rob a bank. Give a man a bank, and he can rob a country."
August 08, 2012
They probably needed money for fuel
Thieves bulldoze cash machine from wall...then find getaway car won't start
Two hapless thieves were forced to flee empty handed after using a stolen digger to rip a cash machine from a bank only to find their getaway vehicle would not start.
The pair had loaded the ATM onto the back of a pick-up truck but had to leave their spoils after the engine would not start.
The men were last seen by witnesses running off into the night abandoning their truck and their loot.
The attempted burglary happened at 3.10am on Monday at the branch of Barclays Bank on Keymer Road in Hassocks, Sussex.
Homes in the area had to be evacuated during the night as the building was deemed unsafe.
August 07, 2012
A safe bet
A game with a windfall for a knowing few
[...] the Selbees, who run a gambling company called GS Investment Strategies, know a secret about the Massachusetts State Lottery: For a few days about every three months, Cash WinFall may be the most reliably lucrative lottery game in the country. Because of a quirk in the rules, when the jackpot reaches roughly $2 million and no one wins, payoffs for smaller prizes swell dramatically, which statisticians say practically assures a profit to anyone who buys at least $100,000 worth of tickets.
During these brief periods - "rolldown weeks'' in gambling parlance - a tiny group of savvy bettors, among them highly trained computer scientists from MIT and Northeastern University, virtually take over the game. Just three groups, including the Selbees, claimed 1,105 of the 1,605 winning Cash WinFall tickets statewide after the rolldown week in May, according to lottery records. They also appear to have purchased about half the tickets, based on reports from the stores that the top gamblers frequent most.
"Cash WinFall isn't being played as a game of chance. Some smart people have figured out how to get rich while everyone else funds their winnings,'' said Mohan Srivastava, an MIT-educated statistician who gained fame in gambling circles when he found a flaw in a Canadian scratch ticket game that allowed him to pick the winners more than 90 percent of the time.
August 03, 2012
Expand your vocabulary
15 Wonderful Words With No English Equivalent
The Global Language Monitor estimates that there are currently 1,009,753 words in the English language. Despite this large lexicon, many nuances of human experience still leave us tongue-tied. And that's why sometimes it's necessary to turn to other languages to find le mot juste. Here are fifteen foreign words with no direct English equivalent.
1. Zhaghzhagh (Persian)
The chattering of teeth from the cold or from rage.
2. Yuputka (Ulwa)
A word made for walking in the woods at night, it's the phantom sensation of something crawling on your skin.
3. Slampadato (Italian)
Addicted to the UV glow of tanning salons? This word describes you."
H.T. Carol J
Update:Danilo writes, "Fantastic! I can add a portuguese word 'saudade'. It's like when you miss someone or something. You feel saudade.
Like the poet would say, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gzxVBXCP1jg"
August 02, 2012
It's not rocket science
Not counting the rockets in their pockets, that is.
Missile Defense Staff Warned to Stop Surfing Porn Sites
The Pentagon's Missile Defense Agency warned its employees and contractors last week to stop using their government computers to surf the Internet for pornographic sites, according to the agency's executive director.
In a one-page memo, Executive Director John James Jr. wrote that in recent months government employees and contractors were detected "engaging in inappropriate use of the MDA network."
"Specifically, there have been instances of employees and contractors accessing websites, or transmitting messages, containing pornographic or sexually explicit images," James wrote in the July 27 memo obtained by Bloomberg News.
July 31, 2012
What's worse than kidney thieves?
Fei Lin's Penis Stolen By Thieves
Thieves stole a man's penis while he slept, according to police.
Fei Lin, 41, of the Niqiao village near Wenling City, in east China's Zhejiang province, told police he was asleep when the thieves burst into his room and put a bag over his head, according to CEN/EUROPICS and as reported in the Daily Star.
"They put something over my head and pulled down my trousers and then they ran off," Lin said. "I was so shocked I didn't feel a thing - then I saw I was bleeding and my penis was gone."
Via The Agitator
July 30, 2012
Are you the droid we're looking for?
From Craigslist, so the link will go stale soon.
Part time attorney needed (Pittsburgh west)
Date: 2012-07-16, 5:04PM EDT
Reply to: email@example.com [Errors when replying to ads?]
We are a collection agency/debt buyer. What we are looking for is a part time attorney to work for us as our corporate counsel, on our payroll, about 5 to 6 hours a week. This is a short term employment arrangement, no longer than 90 to 120 days.
Your job will be to sign pleadings, praecipe for entry of appearances, praecipe for writ of execution, and garnishment orders. Our paralegal will prepare all paperwork for your signature. This is very standard stuff for us.
If you are an attorney looking for challenging legal work, this is not for you. WE DO NOT NEED F LEE BAILEY- we are fee shopping. If you passed your boards with a D+, and you can sign your name, you possess all the credentials required for this job. If this opportunity interests you, please feel free to reply to this email with a brief description of who you are, when you got your law license, and what you will be needing from us in the way of compensation.
July 26, 2012
Everybody's got his hand out
Park Service is requiring permits to hunt Bigfoot
If you're going to make a business out of taking naive people into national parks and extorting money from them to go hunt around for Bigfoot, then the U.S. National Park Service has this message for you: They want in. Sasquatch hunter Matt Pruitt learned this when he was leading 31 believers (who had paid between $300 and $500 apiece) through Steel Creek in Arkansas last month and ran into rangers who cited him for "engaging in a business without a permit or written agreement." Pruitt had to pay almost $600 for the permit, but apparently it's worth the expense. He's led Sasquatch-sighting-centered trips in 18 states and ranks Arkansas as being in the top three for potential to spot the wily beast.
H.T. Jeff G.
July 25, 2012
New York area homeowners turning to "lawn painting"
(Reuters) - Despite the summer's persistent heat waves, the grass really is greener in some neighborhoods in New York and New Jersey.
Homeowners with brown, dried-up lawns are turning to "lawn painting" to liven up their yards.
Business is booming, according to Joe Perazzo, who launched his lawn painting company in New York's most suburban borough of Staten Island a few years ago, inspired by the tinting process used to color professional athletic fields. Other companies have sprung up in the region and elsewhere in the country.
July 24, 2012
I wonder how much he saved
Software engineer claims generic version of Propecia turned him into a woman
This baldness cure was a bust.
For nine months, William McKee took the generic version of Propecia, the pills that promise to halt hair loss.
But the drug had radical side effects: Instead of becoming a better-looking man, he started becoming a woman, he claims.
"My rock-hard chest from the gym began to soften . . . reaching the point where I had noticeable 'breasts' even under my clothing," he says. [...]
McKee, who says he wasn't inclined to cross-dress before, began feeling like a woman. He is now only attracted to men.
July 23, 2012
That must be some fine beer
Either that or most of the beer was already inside him. News from New Zealand
Chainsaw rampage charges after beer argument
A man wielding a chainsaw allegedly cut through a front door, then a pole causing a veranda to collapse before chopping a takeaway sign in half during a dispute over a box of beers.
Whangarei police Sergeant Stephanie Hudson said officers were called to a Hikurangi home about 6.50pm on Thursday.
It's believed a dispute broke out between the man and a woman over a box of Steinlager beer. The woman went out on to the veranda of the property and the man picked up a recently sharpened chainsaw.
July 19, 2012
Some people are never satisfied
Cops: Woman Dialed 911 With Mug Shot Beef.
JULY 19--A Georgia woman has been charged with misusing the 911 system after she called police dispatchers to register a complaint about the quality of a mug shot taken following a prior arrest.
Tonya Ann Fowler dialed police Sunday evening after spotting the photo in "Bad & Busted," a local publication that compiles images of recent arrestees. The photo that so displeased Fowler, 45, was snapped following an earlier collar
July 18, 2012
If you've ever wondered, here's how that works
Video at the link
Woman Flips Over After Trying To Ride Motorized Scooter Up MBTA Escalator
BOSTON (CBS) – A woman on a motorized scooter fell down an escalator on the MBTA last week.
On Friday, the 56-year-old woman from South Boston was attempting to ride her scooter up an escalator at the Broadway MBTA Station, but flipped over a couple times and fell down.
July 17, 2012
And all he needs is fresh fish
Talkeetna Mayor is a Cat Named Stubbs
TALKEETNA, Alaska — A cat named Stubbs has been the mayor of Talkeetna for nearly all of his life -- no joke.
It's been that way for more than a decade in the small tourist town that boasts nearly 900 residents.
The part-manx was named honorary mayor shortly after his birth, and now locals all know the cat as "Mayor Stubbs." [...]
As the story goes, 15 years ago several of the town residents didn't like the candidates who were running for mayor of Talkeetna, so as a joke, they encouraged enough people to elect Stubbs the cat as a write-in candidate, and he actually won.
July 10, 2012
The Instant Heart Attack saved
'Heart attack' sandwich can stay on N.Y. menu
NEW YORK (AP) — New Yorkers can still order up an instant heart attack.
The Second Avenue Deli won a court fight with a Las Vegas-based burger joint Friday over the names of their gut-busting foods. The New York deli's sandwich called "instant heart attack" is made of sliced pastrami and fried potato latkes. It costs $24.95.
The Heart Attack Grill in Vegas had ordered the deli to stop serving the fare on trademark infringement grounds. [...]
The Second Avenue Deli is also allowed to sell another sandwich called the "triple bypass." Lebewohl says it includes "everything but the kitchen sink."
July 09, 2012
Another use for LOLcats
Insurance claim over dead cat backfires on Tacoma man
A 29-year-old Tacoma man who filed a $20,000 insurance claim for the death of a cat he claimed to have loved "like a son" has been charged with insurance fraud and attempted theft.
According to the charges filed last week in Pierce County, Yevgeniy Samsonov's beloved cat never existed and photos he submitted to bolster his claim had been pulled from the Internet.
July 06, 2012
Somebody's got to do it (2)
'Hen party'? Boy, I haven't heard that in a long while.
Hen party mistake police for strippers
AUSTRALIAN POLICE OFFICERS narrowly escaped a Darwin pub with their dignity intact after a rowdy hen party mistook them for strippers, reports The Australian newspaper.
The male officers attended the Humpty Doo Tavern in northern Australia after reports of a disturbance, only to be greeted by an amorous group of women who proceeded to try and take the officers' clothes off.
July 05, 2012
Police: Arrest follows dispute over pancakes
A Muncie man was arrested this week on allegations he battered his sister after she criticized how much maple syrup he had placed on his pancakes.
Joseph Eugene Perry Jr., 47, was preliminarily charged with battery and strangulation. He remained in the Delaware County jail on Wednesday under a $7,500 bond.
July 03, 2012
What the... ?
Lawsuits: Kim Kardashian A Terrorist, Had Sex On Tape While Unicorn Watched
WHEELING, W.Va. (CBSDC) – Two recent lawsuits filed against reality television star Kim Kardashian assert that the pop culture personality has terrorist sympathies, and that she recently made a sex tape in the presence of multiple animals – including a unicorn.
The two lawsuits were filed in the United States District Court in West Virginia on June 21 by Gino Romano of Brooklyn and "all others similarly situated," and on June 25 by Jonathan Kimberly of Philadelphia, CBS affiliate WTRF-TV reports.
July 02, 2012
This'll stop you - no matter how sober you are
Michigan adds talking urinal cakes to DUI fight
Michigan is hoping to keep drunks off the road with the help from a special bathroom message.
The state says talking urinal-deodorizer cakes have been distributed to Michigan Licensed Beverage Association members in Wayne, Bay, Ottawa and Delta counties. A recorded message will play reminding men who step up to the urinals to call a cab or a friend, if needed, to get home safely.
June 30, 2012
OK... maybe clowns are scary
Evil clown stalks kids as birthday treat
For a fee, actor Dominic Deville dresses up in a deathly clown mask and contacts his child "victims" in the Swiss city of Lucerne to tell them he is watching them.
His "evil clown" service unfolds further as he teases his targets with texts, phone calls and booby-trapped letters, warning them that at some point during their birthday party, he will throw a cake in their face, the Austrian Times reports.
June 28, 2012
Ethnic minority turn to Jesus as more 'affordable' option
At upwards of US$500, the cost of slaughtering a buffalo to revive a relative condemned to ill-health by the spirits has pushed the Jarai indigenous minority residents of Somkul village in Ratanakkiri to a more affordable religious option: Christianity.
In the village in O'Yadav district's Som Thom commune, about 80 per cent of the community have given up on spirits and ghosts in favour of Sunday sermons and modern medicine.
Sev Chel, 38, said she made the switch because when she used to get sick, it could cost her hundreds of dollars to appease the gods with a sacrificial package that might include a cow or buffalo, a chicken, bananas, incense and rice wine.
"So if I sold that buffalo and took the money to pay for medicine, it is about 30,000 riel to 40,000 riel [for them to] get better, so we are strong believers in Jesus," she said. "If I did not believe in Jesus, maybe at this time I would still be poor and not know anything besides my community."
Via Carpe Diem
June 26, 2012
Burger King to introduce bacon sundae
Would you buy a bacon sundae? Burger King is betting you will.
The fast-food chain famous for the Whopper will introduce the limited-time dessert on Thursday as part of its new summer menu. The 510-calorie sundae—vanilla soft serve topped with fudge, caramel, bacon crumbles and a piece of bacon—has 18 grams of fat and 61 grams of sugar.
June 22, 2012
Worse than a finger in yer eye
Follow the link to check out the radiographs (x-rays).
Teen miraculously survives spear through his brain, speaks throughout ordeal
(CBS News) Sixteen-year-old Yasser Lopez is currently recovering from a freak accident in which a spear longer than 3 feet discharged through his head. Amazingly the teen survived, and his doctors explained the unusual case to media at a press conference in Miami on Monday.
CBS Miami reports that Yasser's survival may be a result of the spear miraculously missing the major blood vessels in the teen's brain.
June 21, 2012
A credit card for the masses
Karl Marx bank cards prove hit in eastern Germany
BERLIN | Fri Jun 15, 2012 10:53am EDT
(Reuters) - Two decades after the fall of the Berlin Wall, some eastern Germans are once again carrying round images of Karl Marx - if only in their pockets.
The disappearance of communist former East Germany has not deterred them from using credit cards emblazoned with the image of the man who foretold the end of capitalism and the triumph of communism.
More than a third of customers at Sparkasse bank in Chemnitz opted for the picture of a bronze bust of the bearded 19th century German-born philosopher, bank spokesman Roger Wirtz said.
June 19, 2012
The non-labor union
Just how do you get 'U cubed' out of Union of Unemployed Activists?
Union aims to organize the unemployed
America's jobless are unionizing, or at least furthering an agenda of one of the nation's biggest unions.
An organization aimed at giving the unemployed more influence has announced it now has more than 100,000 jobless activists in their ranks.
The Union of Unemployed (UCubed) Activists is an Internet-centric "community service project" of the International Association of Machinists and Aerospace Workers (IAM) — one of the country's largest industrial trade unions.
June 18, 2012
Ms. M writes:
[Mr. M] is on a new project in Pittsburgh. He told me the city and his hotel (and others) started to fill up late in the week with people attending a convention this weekend called Anthrocon; which is basically a gathering of "furries," or people who like to dress up as furry animals – who like to LIVE like furry animals. Here’s a photo of some of them.
He said they were EVERYWHERE. They were on the streets, in the hotel elevator, unavoidable. And in full costume everywhere they go.
He then told me that the hotel staff told him that some of these crazy lunatics make a LITTER BOX in their hotel room and USE IT, and that furthermore they LEAVE IT for the hotel staff to clean up. They were NOT kidding
Photo from Douglas Muth's Flickr collection
June 15, 2012
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time (2)
The photos at the link are pretty funny.
New French Ads Poke Fun at the British Olympian
A new French ad campaign for Eurostar, the high-speed train connecting Paris to London's Waterloo station, pokes fun at the latter city's Olympic aspirations. The posters, created by Paris ad agency Leg, depict two Grecian statues reminiscent of the iconic discus thrower—but instead of the discus, the statues are holding darts and a pool cue, respectively. And instead of a chiseled physique, they display protruding beer guts and doughy pectorals.
June 14, 2012
Swedish party wants sit-down urination
(UPI) -- Left Party members of a Swedish county council said they want to encourage men using the council's toilets to sit during urination.
The Left Party in Sormland said it wants the Sormland County Council to pass a motion requiring toilets reserved for stand-up urination to be labeled, Swedish news agency TT reported Monday.
The party said sit-down urination is more hygienic and reduces the risk of bathroom users having to negotiate their way around puddles en route to the toilet.
June 13, 2012
Wine dress takes on a whole new meaning
Dress Made of Wine
We've heard red wine can benefit your health, but how about your closet? Researchers at The University of Western Australia have just discovered a way to make the beverage into clothing. The process is a lot easier than you'd think: the fabric actually creates itself without any weaving. Talk about futuristic fashion! [...]
The resulting material clings to the body and is entirely seamless. The duo then successfully created fermented fashion made of red wine, white wine, and beers like Guinness, which all retain their natural odor and color.
June 12, 2012
2 Border Patrol Agents Accused Of Engaging In Sex Act During Cirque Du Soleil Show
SAN DIEGO (CBS) — An investigation is under way following allegations that two Border Patrol agents engaged in a sex act in public and attacked a woman who asked the pair to stop.
The incident occurred at a Cirque du Soleil show in Del Mar on May 27.
According to San Diego sheriff's investigators, the pair was identified as Border Patrol agents Kallie Helwig and Gerald Torello, Jr.
Witnesses allege Helwig performed oral sex on Torello as they watched the show in the audience.
June 11, 2012
Meth-makers of Walmart
Woman Caught Making Meth In Her Purse At Walmart
MEHLVILLE (KMOX) - A woman was caught cooking meth in her purse using a 20-ounce soda bottle inside of the Walmart store on Telegraph Road at I-255.
The store was immediately evacuated, out of fear for customers' safety.
St. Louis County Police Lt. Mark Cox said if the meth concoction had spilled or leaked, it would have quickly circulated through the store's ventilation system, contaminating the building and sickening lots of people.
June 08, 2012
Like, who would sell his weed to buy food, man?
Stoner tries to pay for meal at Denny's with a bag of weed
A Niagara Falls man did nothing to help Denny's reputation as being a late-night hangout for grubby stoners when he attempted to pay for his meal on Saturday with a sack of weed. According to police, the dude, apparently racked with the munchies and Jonesing for a Grand Slam, wandered into the all-night diner in New York around 2 a.m. He ordered a meal worth $9.91 but when it came time to pay, he presented the cashier with $1 and a bag of marijuana. When the cashier refused, he began walking around the restaurant trying to sell the pot to other diners before someone called the cops. Police are still tracking him down, but come on, man, didn't you hear how this ended for the taxi guy?
June 05, 2012
If you've got it, flaunt it
An NBA Player Has An ATM In His Kitchen That Holds $20,000 And Charges An Egregious Fee
Brooklyn Nets player Deshawn Stevenson made waves when he tweeted out a picture of himself and his in-home ATM earlier this week.
It holds $20,000, and he gets it refilled 4-6 times a year
It has a $4.50 fee every time you use it (!)
It cost $3,500
Stevenson's reasoning for buying it, "I like doing things that aren't normal and it's cool to have."
He added that it's primarily used by his rich friends before they go out.
June 04, 2012
The cleaning fairy doesn't work cheap
Cleaning fairy breaks into woman's home, cleans apartment
A cleaning woman in Ohio may be stuck sweeping a jail cell.
Susan Warren, 53, was arrested by Westlake, Ohio, police after she allegedly broke into a woman's apartment, cleaned it (lightly) and left a bill.
"She wrote a note on a napkin and left it on the table, saying, '$75 I was here to clean,' and left her name and number," Sherry Bush told WBBH-TV.
Bush said Warren cleaned a few coffee mugs, took out the trash, vacuumed the carpet and cleaned up her daughter's playroom.
Flabbergasted, Bush called the number to ask if she had gotten the wrong house. She said Warren became irate and told her she "did this all the time" and demanded she pay up.
Frighteningly, that may be true.
June 01, 2012
This'll get their attention
Sex tape spliced into graduation video
HELLERUP, Denmark, May 29 (UPI) -- The principal of a Danish high school said he was outraged when a video shown at graduation was interrupted by a video of a student having sex.
Principal Jorgen Rasmussen said the video shown to the 450 people attending the ceremony at Gammel Hellerup Gymnasium was supposed to celebrate the graduating class with pictures from their time at the school, but the video was interrupted by footage of a male student having sex with a woman who does not attend the school, The Copenhagen Post reported Tuesday.
May 31, 2012
Fandom for sale
Buy a group of Belgian soccer fans to root for your country during euro 2012
For sale: Belgian soccer fans for euro 2012. Second hand but mint condition. Not been used since Fifa World Cup 2002.
Once again we Belgians have no team to root for at the euro 2012 soccer championship. Since tournaments are much more fun when you have a favourite team, we decided to put our fandom for sale at ebay.
All profits will be sent directly to Unicef.
What is for sale:
During Euro 2012, all members of this facebookgroup:
will root for the national soccer team of the highest bidder, or the national team of his choice.
Via Carpe Diem
May 30, 2012
The war on Cheetos
Mexican Cartel Declares War on Cheetos
Mexican drug cartels are not strictly drug cartels. One of their fastest-growing markets is extortion of private citizens and businesses. Don't pay, and you can be threatened — or worse. But largely, the cartels target small businesses and individuals, and stay away from the larger industries. Now several arson attacks over the weekend against a Mexican snack chip subsidiary might be the first time the cartels have targeted a multinational corporation.
May 25, 2012
Everybody likes beer
Police say roving Mass. cows drank some brews
BOXFORD, Mass.—Police in Boxford say a roving group of cows crashed a small gathering in town and bullied the guests for their beer.
Boxford Police Lieutenant James Riter said he was responding to call for loose cows on Sunday and spotted them in a front yard on Main Street.
Riter says the herd soon high-tailed it for the backyard, and then he heard screaming.
He says when he ran back there, he saw the cows had chased off some young adults and were drinking their beers.
May 24, 2012
Put the camera down real slow
Connecticut Cop Arrested After Pulling Gun On Cop Who Photographed Him
Fellow officers thought it would be funny to photograph David Davis, a Connecticut railroad police officer, sleeping at his desk while on shift.
They probably didn't expect Davis to wake up, pull out his gun and point at the officer who had just taken his picture.
"No one's taking pictures today," Davis told John Freeman. [...]
The incident took place in February. He [Davis] was arrested Friday.
Davis, 51, a Metro-North Railroad police officer, is now facing first-degree reckless endangerment charges.
May 23, 2012
From the Post-Dispatch:
Never mind! Robber changes her mind at Richmond Heights bank
RICHMOND HEIGHTS • A woman who tried to rob the Commerce Bank at 7910 Clayton Road over the weekend apparently changed her mind midway through the robbery attempt, grabbing her demand note and leaving the bank without money, police said.
The woman walked in about 9:50 a.m. Saturday and handed a note to the teller which indicated she wanted money and that she had a gun. But the woman became impatient after handing over the note, police said, retrieving it and walking out of the lobby.
May 22, 2012
The real estate market's warming up
The $1 million parking space
Only in New York, kids . . .
You'll need a trunk full of cash to park here.
The city's first million-dollar parking space is on the market.
The private garage at 66 E. 11th St. costs six times more than the national-average price of a single-family home.
Buying it would be the same as paying a $115 ticket for illegal parking every day — for 24 years. [...]
The hot space is about 12 feet wide, 23 feet long and more than 15 feet high.
May 21, 2012
I assume the rapid effect is due to inhaling the spray.
The binge drinking machine? Mouth spray that gets you drunk in seconds - but you sober up just as fast
A new gadget is designed to get people drunk INSTANTLY.
The makers claim, however, that the 'harm' is limited, because you sober up equally rapidly.
The alcohol is delivered via an aerosol spray, so people feel briefly drunk, then sober up.
May 17, 2012
What a headline (8)
Seattle Times: ‘With Dicks In,’ Congressional Dems Favor Gay Marriage Ban Repeal
The copy editing team at the Seattle Times either had too much or not enough time on their hands this afternoon, when they ran with the headline: “With Dicks in, all 6 WA congressional Democrats favor repeal of gay-marriage ban.” The reference was to Rep. Norm Dicks (D-WA) who had just announced his support for the repeal of the state’s prohibition on gay marriage, but the effect of that headline was something quite different from what the Seattle Times had intended.
May 16, 2012
Tell us what you really think
A Midsummer Night’s Clusterfuck
If you’re a Shakespeare virgin as either an actor or an audience member, A Midsummer Night’s Dream is the ideal place to start. The language is not intimidating or difficult, and it’s so filled with simple mischief and delight that it’s as close to foolproof as any play ever written. I’ve seen amateur productions of Midsummer that were at least winningly buoyant, and some were even unforgettable, maybe because it’s partly conceived as a send-up of amateur players. And now I’ve seen something I never thought I’d see, a star-studded production of Midsummer at Classic Stage (through May 20) that turns this most charming and actable of all Shakespeare plays into a disaster area of poor ideas and incoherent intentions, an extended agony of directorial and design malfeasance.
May 14, 2012
We're gonna party like it's 2013
New Mayan Calendar Discovered That Doesn't End in 2012
Archeologists have unearthed what they say is the oldest known version of the Mayan calendar and one that doesn't "end" with the Earth's destruction later this year. Yeah, you're welcome.
May 10, 2012
Hell hath no fury (4)
Chew Cheating Rat
A jilted dentist who pulled out all her boyfriend's teeth after he dumped her for another woman is facing three years in jail in Wroclaw, Poland.
Anna Mackowiak, 34, was astonished when just days after breaking up with her, Marek Olszewski, 45, turned up at her surgery complaining of tooth ache.
"I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions.
"But when I saw him lying there I just thought, 'What a bastard' and decided to take all his teeth out," she admitted.
After putting him to sleep with a heavy dose of anesthetic, the spurned dentist locked the door and then began plucking his teeth out one by one.
Update:The L.A. Times says, "Story about scorned dentist appears to be a hoax"
May 09, 2012
Lost or stolen or strayed
Hundreds of 5-year-old municipal vehicles found in Miami that were never used
Have you ever bought a brand new cars only to forget where you put it? How about 300 of them? Probably not – unless you're Miami-Dade County, which was recently reunited with 298 vehicles it bought brand new between 2006 and 2007.
The county "discovered" this fleet of no-mileage vehicles after reading about them in a Spanish-language newspaper there (see the source for more images). Most of the misplaced motorcade is made up of Toyota Prius hybrids whose warranties either expired with very few miles on the odo or will very soon.
May 08, 2012
Don't bring a sword to a chain saw fight
Bloody battle between neighbours sees man's arm almost severed with a chain saw... and another's finger chopped off with a SAMURAI sword
In a bloody battle between two warring neighbours in Australia today, one man's arm was almost severed with a chain saw, while another had a finger chopped off with a Samurai sword.
Surgeons were later trying to save the arm of the chain saw victim, Mark Jorgenson, 29, while his neighbour Troy Thornton, 26, was being treated after losing his finger to the Samurai sword.
Police who rushed to the small town of Minto, south west of Sydney, found pools of blood in the street and Mr Jorgenson crying in pain from his almost-severed arm.
Via Clayton Cramer
May 07, 2012
What a headline (7)
Free Pussy Riot
In his final interview as president of Russia, Dmitry Medvedev was asked to comment on many of the issues one would expect—relations with the United States, Ukraine and Georgia, government corruption… and the Pussy Riot case.
While you might not have heard much, if anything, about Pussy Riot in this country, the feminist punk rock collective has roiled Russian politics. Back in February, on the eve of Russia’s presidential election, it gave an impromptu performance of “Punk Prayer” on the pulpit of Christ the Savior Cathedral—Moscow’s Russian Orthodox equivalent of St. Patrick’s Cathedral in New York City. The performers wore ski masks, jabbed and kicked at the air and genuflected to verses imploring the Virgin Mary to “get rid of Putin, get rid of Putin, get rid of Putin.”
Via The Agitator
May 04, 2012
The midi-chlorian count was low, no doubt
Obiwan Kenobi Arrested In Roseville Hit-And-Run
ROSEVILLE, Calif. (KCRA) -- Jedi-mind tricks apparently weren’t enough to keep Obiwan Kenobi out of the Placer County Jail.
Roseville police said that over the weekend they arrested a 37-year-old with the same name as the Star Wars character on suspicion of hit-and-run causing injury. Kenobi was also wanted on an unrelated charge of petty theft, authorities said.
Kenobi was arrested in connection with a five-vehicle crash that took place March 19 at Fairway and Rosehall drives.
May 03, 2012
They're not going to watch themselves, are they?
Cops REQUIRE Copies of Unedited Porn Films Under New Simi Valley Law
Simi Valley recently passed a law requiring porn performers to wear condoms, which was widely perceived as a way to keep out condomless productions fleeing from Los Angeles.
But tucked into that law was a provision requiring adult videos producers to submit unedited copies of their films to the local police department for review, according to CBS Los Angeles. You know, just to make sure there was no funny business going on.
This got LOLs from the folks at Fark: "Breathless sweaty detectives promise to put as many hours as it takes to service protection."
May 02, 2012
Nude pillion passenger allowed to ride on after she gets 'no helmet' ticket
A woman riding on the back of a motorbike stark naked was pulled over by police - because she wasn't wearing her helmet.
The pillion passenger's dangerous curves no doubt proved distracting for other drivers on the road, but cops clearly didn't want to see her cover up.
After pulling the motorbike over in Romania, officers let the modern day Lady Godiva off with just a warning and a ticket for not donning a helmet.
The cheeky rider then hopped back on the bike, nude but for a crash helmet, and sped off - giving fellow motorists plenty of photo opportunities.
The nude rider may have stopped traffic, but cops only wanted her to put her helmet on (Pic: CEN)
April 30, 2012
There's an app for that (4)
Smartphone app files official TSA complaints in real-time
A smartphone application set to debut next week looks to bring real-time complaint reporting to Transportation Security Administration (TSA) checkpoints.
Developed by funding from The Sikh Coalition, a civil rights umbrella group that looks out for people who follow Sikhism, the app asks a series of questions that mirror the complaint reporting document offered on the TSA’s website, then sends the agency an official report, which they claim are always followed-up on.
April 27, 2012
Ready, fire, aim!
Teen Driver Shoots Flare Into Own Car, Police Say
HOOKSETT, N.H. -- A teen driver who pointed a flare gun at another driver ended up firing a flare into his own car, police said.
State police said the incident began Monday evening when one driver cut off another car as they were going through the Hooksett tolls.
"There was a verbal exchange of some kind. I believe there was gesturing between the two of them," Sgt. Charles Johnston said.
Police said the two cars were driving north on Interstate 93 toward Bow when 18-year-old Nicholas Richer pointed a flare gun out of the window at the other driver. Investigators said Richer fired the flare into his own car as he was pulling the gun back in the window.
The other driver called 911 to report the incident.
"The flare gun discharged inside the suspect's vehicle, ignited, caught the right passenger's front seat on fire," Johnston said.
April 25, 2012
The not-so-exciting story of how a Scottish village called Dull became twinned with a U.S. town called Boring
If you lived in a place with a Dull church, a Dull war memorial and a Dull Highland Adventure Safari would you fancy a trip to a town featuring Boring pubs and Boring restaurants?
That's what lies in store for the residents of the small settlement of Dull in Scotland as the community gears up to formally link with the town of Boring situated in the U.S. some 5,542 miles away. [...]
The idea of bringing the two places together emerged after Elizabeth Leighton, from Grandtully, in Perthshire, passed through the U.S. town while on a cycling holiday.
She then decided to share the news of her exciting discovery with her Dull friend Emma Burtles and chairman of the Boring Community Planning Organisation Steve Bates.
April 24, 2012
Engrish WTF (2)
What exactly is 'Hand Shredded A$$ Meat'? A new dictionary for Chinese restaurants may tell you
BEIJING – Overseas tourists often find the menus here befuddling, for good reason.
After all, what Westerner has experience with foods like these? “Cowboy leg,” “Hand-shredded ass meat,” “Red-burned lion head,” “Strange flavor noodles,” “Blow-up flatfish with no result,” or “Tofu made by woman with freckles.”
As proud as the Chinese people are of their thousands of years of gastronomic culture, even a Chinese native can feel disoriented when going to another province, given all the different styles of cooking. Many of the food names, often unique to different provinces, get lost in translation, especially in booming cities starting to embrace overseas tourists.
April 23, 2012
He won't talk his way out of this one very easily
Hunter thinks he hears a pig, shoots his girlfriend
A Florida woman is recovering from bullet wounds to her legs after she was hit accidentally by her boyfriend while hog-hunting, according to authorities.
The couple, both 52, were at Cowart Hunt Camp in Flagler County when the man heard a noise in the woods and fired, thinking it was a hog, wftv.com reported.
Instead of a hog, Steven Egan shot his girlfriend, Lisa Simmons. She suffered gunshot wounds to both legs Saturday night and was in serious condition.
April 20, 2012
Not exactly the Orgasmatron
If you can't believe a management professor and a sexologist, who can you believe?
Researchers Claim Sex Robots Will Be Future Of Sex Tourism
LAS VEGAS (CBS Las Vegas) – Are robots the future of prostitution and sex tourism? That’s what two New Zealand researchers claim.
Ian Yeoman, management professor, and Michelle Mars, sexologist, are researchers at Victoria University of Wellington in New Zealand. Their work together revolved around the concept of futuristic sex tourism.
The hypothesis? Sex robots would become the leading ladies of sex-for-profit in the seemingly distant year of 2050.
The paper was called “Robots, Men and Sex Tourism,” a work that made its way into a journal called Futures, according to a report in The Dominion Post.
April 19, 2012
Enough is enough
F***ing had enough of prank calls
Residents of the picture postcard Austrian village of F***ing are to vote this week about whether to change the name.
The final straw has been a growing number of calls by pranksters who ring up locals and ask in English "Is That F***ing" - before hanging up.
F***ing Mayor Franz Meindl said the village's road signs were regularly stolen - even though they were now welded on steel posts set in concrete.
"The phone calls are really the final straw," he said.
Couples have also been spotted romping naked in front of the signs, and local entrepreneurs cashed in by selling F***ing postcards, F***ing Christmas cards and even F***ing beer.
April 18, 2012
Eau de pomme
Smell like a MacBook Pro with this new perfume - yes, really
Have you ever opened an Apple MacBook Pro box, inhaled and thought, "If I only I could smell like the inside of this box, I'd be the coolest person ever"? If so, your (frankly disturbing) dreams are about to come true with a new fragrance by Air Aroma, based on the smell of unboxing a new MacBook Pro.
April 17, 2012
I'm sure it does
Cannabis wine catching on in California
A number of California winemakers are secretly producing wines laced with cannabis, with Cabernet Sauvignon the grape variety of choice for the blend.
“Pot wine is increasingly fashionable in wine country – much of the marijuana used for the wine comes from California’s weed capital Humboldt County,” Crane Carter, president of the Napa Valley Marijuana Growers said.
“Cabernet Sauvignon from the Stag’s Leap district is thought to pair particularly well with pot,” Carter added.
According to Carter, pot wine delivers a quicker high than pot brownies, and the combination of alcohol and marijuana produces “an interesting little buzz.”
April 16, 2012
Don't go a-knockin'
Gravy-wrestling model suffers horrific facial injuries after being hit with monkey wrench when she interrupted a friend having sex
A model who became a champion gravy wrestler suffered serious eye damage after being hit in the face with a monkey wrench.
Elisa Sampson, 31, was hit in the face by her 'best friend' Sabina English, after arriving back at her home in Rossendale, Lancashire, and finding the single mother having sex with another friend on her sofa.
When kick boxer Elisa interrupted the two with a shout of: 'What are you doing', laundry worker English jumped up and hit her in the face with the garage tool, which was lying nearby on the floor.
April 12, 2012
Well it wouldn't cut grass, would it?
Man found pushing lawn mower, cursing while in middle of street
A man was arrested early Tuesday after police found him cursing while pushing a lawn mower in the middle of the street.
Issac Kindred, 56, was charged with disorderly while intoxicated, Columbus police said.
According to reports, Kindred was seen about 2 a.m. Tuesday pushing a lawn mower as he walked in the middle of Floyd Road. Kindred stared at the sky, yelling, and he didn’t stop yelling after police told him to calm down.
April 09, 2012
What comes after Vista?
Bill Gates funds new machine that filters your toilet waste back into 'drinkable' water
Next time you see a dog lapping thirstily at a toilet bowl, pause for thought - next time, it could be you.
A new invention - funded by Bill Gates - aims to turn used toilet water into drinking water.
Manchester University’s Sarah Haigh is an expert in nanotechnology - the science of manipulating atoms in matter - and says, it could make waste water from toilets safe to drink.
The innovation - which has been funded by billionaire Bill Gates - could transform the lives of millions of people in the third world.
April 06, 2012
Woman's 'cop fantasy' ends with DUI
ALTOONA, Pa. -- A state trooper says an extremely drunk woman met him at the door wearing underpants and holding two yellow roses she wanted him to accept as part of her "cop fantasy" -- before he charged her with drunken driving instead.
April 04, 2012
Priest probed over indecent images
The head of the Catholic Church in Ireland has said a priest who revealed pornographic images during a Holy Communion presentation is being investigated.
Father Martin McVeigh was to host a Powerpoint presentation to parents at St Mary's School in Pomeroy, Co Tyrone last week.
Instead, around 16 pictures of gay porn which had been stored on a memory stick were shown to the 26 parents and an eight-year-old child who was also at the meeting.
April 03, 2012
That'll draw 'em in, I'm sure
US town plans mock execution to attract tourists
Doug Ellison, 49, has asked the town’s Planning and Zoning Commission for permission to build the attraction, and intends to stage a mock hanging - with his own neck in the noose. [...]
The commission is expected to vote on the proposal next month, and Mr Ellison said he was hopeful of securing approval.
“My vision is to stage a shooting, where I'd gun down someone in the street, have a trial and a hanging, all within 20 or so minutes,” he said. “Anything longer than that and the tourists would lose interest.”
April 01, 2012
Check your assumptions
From the Sun Sentinel's FloriDUH blog.
Report: Woman hid urine-filled vodka bottle in vagina
Mishelle Lindy Salzgeber, of Dade City, tried an unorthodox approach to passing a drug test in her probation office: The 20-year-old woman filled a small vodka bottle with somebody else's urine and paced it in her vagina, reports WTSP News-10 in Tampa Bay.
However, the pee inside the vodka bottle failed the test, which led to her arrest.
March 29, 2012
Don't hunt for Easter eggs in China
It's one way to get a dose of phosphorus.
Urine-soaked eggs a spring taste treat in China city
DONGYANG, China (Reuters) - It's the end of a school day in the eastern Chinese city of Dongyang, and eager parents collect their children after a hectic day of primary school.
But that's just the start of busy times for dozens of egg vendors across the city, deep in coastal Zhejiang province, who ready themselves to cook up a unique springtime snack favored by local residents.
Basins and buckets of boys' urine are collected from primary school toilets. It is the key ingredient in "virgin boy eggs", a local tradition of soaking and cooking eggs in the urine of young boys, preferably below the age of 10.
There is no good explanation for why it has to be boys' urine, just that it has been so for centuries.
The scent of these eggs being cooked in pots of urine is unmistakable as people pass the many street vendors in Dongyang who sell it, claiming it has remarkable health properties.
March 28, 2012
A long walk on a short pier
Texting woman falls into lake
ST. JOSEPH, Mich., March 20 (UPI) -- Authorities in Michigan said they pulled a 45-year-old woman out of Lake Michigan after she fell off a pier while text messaging.
St. Joseph police said Bonnie Miller of Benton Harbor was text messaging on her phone and was not carefully watching where she was walking when she fell Monday from the South Pier in St. Joseph, WOOD-TV, Grand Rapids, reported Tuesday.
March 26, 2012
Real Women of Genius
'SMUGGLER': None-too-subtle license plate nets aspiring drug runner
Here’s a tip for all the would-be drug runners out there – don’t move kilos of cocaine in a car with a personalized license plate reading “SMUGGLER.”
Federal investigators contend a woman was caught in Blaine doing just that late last year.
March 21, 2012
Police capture chicken at large
MANITOWOC — Police are seeking the owner of a chicken that was taken into custody Sunday.
According to the Manitowoc Police Department report:
An officer, called to the 600 block of South 28th Street for the report of a chicken at large, located the white hen. Police dispatch did not have any reports of a missing chicken. The chicken was skinny and looked as if it hadn’t been fed recently.
Higgledy Piggledy, my white hen;
She lays eggs for gentlemen.
You cannot persuade her with gun or lariat
To come across for the proletariat.
- Dorothy Parker
March 20, 2012
The Pirate Bay to Fly 'Server Drones' to Avoid Law Enforcement
The world’s largest and most resilient BitTorrent site plans to redefine “cloud computing” with a plan to move at least some of its servers onto unmanned drones miles above Sweden.
In a Sunday blog post, The Pirate Bay announced new "Low Orbit Server Stations" that will house the site's servers and files on unmanned, GPS-controlled, aircraft drones.
March 19, 2012
Hitler's Hollywood homies
Heil Hollywood: The Los Angeles bunker from which Hitler planned to run Nazi empire after the war
It sounds like the bizzare script of a Hollywood B-movie.
In a parallel universe the Nazis have won the war, Adolf Hitler moves to LA where he mingles with the stars of the silver screen while running his evil empire from a luxurious ranch deep in the LA hills.
But during the 1930s, American sympathisers were so confident this exact scenario was actually going happen they spent millions building a deluxe compound ready for their fuhrer's imminent arrival.
Equipped with a diesel power plant, 375,000 gallon concrete water tank , giant meat locker, 22 bedrooms and even a bomb shelter, the heavily guarded estate was home to a community of Hollywood fascists who hoped to ride out the war there.
March 16, 2012
Meanwhile in Louisiana
Bill proposes no straw hole for drive-through daiquiris
Louisiana lawmakers will consider restrictions on drive-through daiquiri sales when they convene next month.
Senator Dan Claitor proposes legislation to make it illegal for drive-through daiquiri shops to copntinue to use lids that can be punctured by a straw.
"This bill simply says it can't be pre-perforated," he explained.
The Baton Rouge lawmaker wants to remove the straw hole to make it harder for drive-through daiquiri customers to put a straw in their drink while they drive to their destination.
Claitor says he filed this exact bill two years ago and it didn't get out of committee.
March 15, 2012
Facebook 'friend' Offer Exposes Man's Other Wife
TACOMA, Wash. (AP) -- A county corrections officer in Washington state has been charged with bigamy after Facebook discovered two women were connected to him and suggested they might want to be "friends."
Pierce County prosecutors say Alan L. O'Neill married a woman in 2001, moved out in 2009, changed his name and remarried without divorcing wife No. 1.
Wife No. 1 recently found out about Wife No. 2 when Facebook detected their connection to O'Neill and suggested the friendship connection. [...]
He was placed on administrative leave after prosecutors charged him Thursday. He could face up to a year in jail if convicted.
March 14, 2012
Most women would rather be beautiful than smart because most men can see better than they can think.
Why Interacting with a Woman Can Leave Men "Cognitively Impaired"
Movies and television shows are full of scenes where a man tries unsuccessfully to interact with a pretty woman. In many cases, the potential suitor ends up acting foolishly despite his best attempts to impress. It seems like his brain isn’t working quite properly and according to new findings, it may not be.
Researchers have begun to explore the cognitive impairment that men experience before and after interacting with women. A 2009 study demonstrated that after a short interaction with an attractive woman, men experienced a decline in mental performance. A more recent study suggests that this cognitive impairment takes hold even when men simply anticipate interacting with a woman who they know very little about.
March 13, 2012
It's in the air
New theory: CO2 makes you fat
Danish researchers are speculating whether our large emissions of CO2, e.g. from fossil fuels such as coal, oil and natural gas, have a surprising ‘CO2 effect’ – making humans hungrier and fatter. (Photo: Colourbox)
No, this is not 1 April – and this is not an April Fool’s hoax.
Mad as it may sound, Danish researchers have announced a theory that may not only explain why people all over the world are getting fatter and fatter, but also warn of the serious consequences for life on Earth of continued pollution of the atmosphere by CO2 emissions.
In itself, the theory is quite simple: CO2 contributes to making us fat.
H.T. Paul B
March 12, 2012
Brawling to Brahms
Orchestra brawl: Fistfight in elite seats stuns symphony patrons
It gets so quiet during the second movement of the Brahms Symphony No. 2, you could almost hear a pin drop.
Or a sneeze. Or a fist hitting a face.
Such was the case Thursday night at Orchestra Hall in a ruckus the Chicago Symphony Orchestra officially described as “an incident” between “two patrons.” But shocked concert-goers and police called it a fist fight in one of the boxes — where the elite typically sit and expect a more refined experience.
Just as the second movement was drawing to a gentle close — with Music Director Riccardo Muti at the podium — a man in his 30s, according to police, started punching a 67-year-old man inside one of the boxes.
March 09, 2012
City rejects 'WTF' campaign
FRUITA, Colo., Feb. 29 (UPI) -- Officials in a Colorado town said they won't be giving official approval to a marketing campaign using the initials "WTF."
Clink Kinney, city manager of Fruita, said the city decided not to incorporate the initials -- which stand for "Welcome to Fruita" as well as a popular text messaging and online chatting abbreviation for a profane phrase -- after asking for opinions from the public, USA Today reported Wednesday.
March 08, 2012
Coffee klatch told to give up coffee
Coffee is banned... from mums' coffee morning group
Council officers told the group to change its name from Coffee and Play to Baby Play – and swap biscuits for fruit and breadsticks as snacks
Mums have been told they cannot have a cup of coffee while looking after their toddlers at a children’s centre – because it’s against health and safety rules.
Council officers also told the group to change its name from Coffee and Play to Baby Play – and swap biscuits for fruit and breadsticks as snacks.
No children have been hurt in the five years the group has been running but the council said hot drinks were dangerous – even in special safety flasks.
March 07, 2012
Beats getting shot by a Smith & Wesson
How to Build a Speech-Jamming Gun
The drone of speakers who won't stop is an inevitable experience at conferences, meetings, cinemas, and public libraries.
Today, Kazutaka Kurihara at the National Institute of Advanced Industrial Science and Technology in Tskuba and Koji Tsukada at Ochanomizu University, both in Japan, present a radical solution: a speech-jamming device that forces recalcitrant speakers into submission.
The idea is simple. Psychologists have known for some years that it is almost impossible to speak when your words are replayed to you with a delay of a fraction of a second. [...]
In tests, Kurihara and Tsukada say their speech jamming gun works well: "The system can disturb remote people's speech without any physical discomfort."
March 06, 2012
Listen to your mother
Teenager wins £53,000 on lottery after finding ticket when mother forced him to clean bedroom
Slovenly Ryan Kitching, 19, reluctantantly clean his bedroom after being nagged by mum Susan when he unearthed 12 old tickets in his drawer he thought he had checked.
He was about to bin them but decided to take them to the supermarket to double-check - and one ticket contained five numbers and the bonus ball netting him a cool £52,981.
Delighted part-time Tesco worker Ryan said yesterday: "I am totally speechless - it was the happiest day of my life easily.
"My mum had been nagging me for weeks to tidy my room so I started cleaning up and found a pile of old tickets.
"I was about to bin them but at the last minute I got this strange feeling that I should get them checked.
"Next time she nags me to tidy my room I won't need telling twice."
March 05, 2012
I think I'll check out the log flume, thanks
New winged roller coaster ‘the Swarm’ rips the arms off crash test dummies
A theme park in London is set to debut a powerful new winged roller coaster this month, but only after first figuring out how not to dismember its riders. Time reports that Thorpe Park has been conducting test runs of its new coaster, the Swarm, even enlisting fighter pilots who described the ride as "gut-wrenching." [...]
The ride's designers ran some test runs with crash test dummies, leaving many shocked when the dummies returned from the experience missing arms and legs. A team of former British fighter pilots were then brought in as the coaster's preparation neared completion. Mark Cutmore, team leader of the Blades, a stunt pilot organization, told the Metro: "I am a self-confessed adrenaline junkie, but even as a pilot used to G-force there were some gut-wrenching moments, and I have to admit the near miss element is eye-watering -- you really do feel as if you are going to crash into the structures."
March 02, 2012
340-ton boulder to begin tortuous trip to LACMA, because it's art
A 340-ton boulder is expected to begin its difficult trek Tuesday night from a Riverside County quarry, rolling to a stop 11 days later in a new art exhibit at LACMA.
The two-story-high rock will begin its 106-mile journey on a custom-built, 294-foot-long centipede-like transporter between 10 and 11 p.m. and travel at the painstakingly slow speed of about 5 mph. It’s due to arrive at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art on Wilshire Boulevard in the wee hours of the morning March 10.
The 680,000-pound boulder is so large that work crews from about 100 utility districts will have to take down traffic signs, overhead wires and other obstacles to let the rock pass and then reinstall them later.
March 01, 2012
Fix your FaceTime
Plastic Surgeon Invents Procedure for iPhone Users
Ladies and gentlemen, prepare to be horrified.
There is now a plastic surgeon in Northern Virginia offering a "FaceTime Facelift," a medical procedure that, very specifically, aims to improve the way you look when video-chatting using the FaceTime app on the iPhone.
February 29, 2012
Have they got a bridge for you
Two men held for stealing historic Chinese bridge
Two men have been arrested in China on suspicion of stealing a historic, century-old bridge, reports say.
The duo, identified only as Mr Hong and Mr Wang, are both from Anhui province.
They are being held on suspicion of cutting up and stealing the 17.5m-long Fengle bridge in Chenyi village in Fengxian district in Shanghai.
A villager found the bridge missing last November, with only two support structures left, said The Global Times.
"The two men confessed that they used two cranes and two trucks that night to lift and remove the 16 stone pieces that formed the floor of the bridge," the report quoted Ruan Jilong, deputy director of Jinhai police station in Fengxian district, as saying.
February 28, 2012
When pork gets personal
Giving sausage a face
“Pig 3” has become an online star. The sow was the winner of the latest Meine Kleine Farm Facebook competition. The prize? Slaughter.
Pig 3 met its fate on Friday in Brandenburg at farmer Bernd Schulz’s pig farm - its memory will live on in the form of pork products. The pig’s face will appear on the packaging of 250 glasses of Leberwurst, 50 cotechino or Schlackwurst (a type of boiled Italian sausage) and 25 Mettringe sausages, already promised to buyers over the meinekleinefarm.org online shop.
February 24, 2012
Try a little wine with that grease
An Unconventional Pairing: Wine and 'Sliders' at the Castle
LAFAYETTE, Ind.—The wine list at the White Castle here proposes a thoughtfully balanced varietal selection, from a pétillant Moscato to a quite approachable Merlot.
Jeanette Merritt stopped by one lunchtime for a tasting. Ms. Merritt isn't new to wine; she's the Indiana Wine Grape Council's marketing director. Wine, however, is new to White Castle. Since December, at this one location, the hamburger chain has been pairing some elegant aspirations with its rather unpretentious "sliders."
February 23, 2012
That's why I never go there
‘Too many Bulgarians in Bulgaria’
A Norwegian family who traveled on a package tour to Bulgaria filed a formal complaint and demanded a refund, because most of the other guests at the hotel where they were staying were Bulgarians.
The Hotel Sveti Toma in Bulgaria, shown here on one of many booking sites. The Norwegian family traveled to Bulgaria, but wanted to vacation with other Norwegians, not Bulgarians.
The family conceded in its complaint that the Hotel Sveti Toma itself and its vacation facilities were fine, reported newspaper Aftenposten on Wednesday. They had wanted, however, to spend their holiday with other Scandinavians, and contended that tour operator Apollo should have informed them that most of the guests at the Bulgarian hotel were either Bulgarian or from other eastern European countries.
February 22, 2012
Kite Surfer Hospitalized After Colliding With Building in Florida
PALM BEACH, Fla. - A kite surfer was hospitalized Sunday after losing control in the air and colliding with a building in Palm Beach, Fla.
The surfer, who has not been identified, was swept into the lakeside one-story building as strong winds gusting as high as 31mph (50kmh) buffeted the area, The Palm Beach Post reported. [...]
There was no damage to the building, the spokeswoman added.
February 21, 2012
The pole poll
Porn stars set for pole dancing battle to be mayor of Italian town Taranto
Amandha Fox and Luana Borgia are vying to become the next civic leader of the town, and are hoping to wow voters not only with their mandates, but also with their pole dancing skills.
Porn star Amandha Fox Interesting debate: Porn star Amandha Fox is sure to attract a few floating voters (Picture: CEN)
The pair have arranged a pole dancing night next month when voters can come along to hear about local election issues, although how many will turn up for a keen policy discussion is unclear.
February 18, 2012
Bartlett man finds $26,000 in safe bought on eBay
(WMC-TV) - A Bartlett man found thousands of dollars inside an item he bought on eBay.
James Labrecque sold an old safe on eBay for $122.93.
"I made a mistake, you know, that's what it boils down to," said Labrecque. "And it cost me dearly." [...]
Labrecque lives in California. The person who bought the safe lives in Bartlett. Upon receipt, the buyer brought the safe to a welder, who cut it open.
Inside the safe was $26,000 in cash.
The buyer gave Labrecque a positive review and shared the news.
February 16, 2012
Irony meter pegged again
Diner suffers cardiac arrest while eating a Triple Bypass Burger in restaurant called the Heart Attack Grill
It was always going to be unwise naming a restaurant that glorifies unhealthy food the Heart Attack Grill.
And on Saturday the inevitable happened when a customer suffered a cardiac arrest in the chain's Las Vegas branch.
An onlooker captured video of paramedics wheeling the unidentified man, thought to be in his 40s, out of the fast-food diner.
He was midway through eating a 6,000-calorie Triple Bypass Burger when he began experiencing chest pains.
The restaurant chain - founded in 2005 using the catchphrase 'Taste Worth Dying For!' - is run by a former nutritionist 'Doctor' Jon Basso who, remarkably, used to run a Jenny Craig weight loss diet centre. [...]
The Triple Bypass Burger contains three slabs of meat, 12 rashes of bacon, cheese, red onion, sliced tomato and the Heart Attack Grill's own 'unique special sauce'. And that's before taking into account the accompanying 'Flatliner Fries', cooked in pure lard, and a giant soft drink.
February 15, 2012
Smokin' hot Volvo
I used to drive a Volvo 240 wagon like Mr. Prokop's; check out the pictures at the link. I liked mine - though it would hardly get out of its own way.
Swiss man replaces car's broken heater with a wood burning stove
When his Volvo's heater broke, Pascal Prokop took drastic action to avoid the bitter Swiss winter and installed a wood burning stove in the front of his car.
As Europe is brought to its knees by the big freeze, motorists have been advised to take extra precautions when making long journeys.
Drivers and passengers are now making sure they have torches, blankets, food rations, wellies, a thermos of sweet hot tea and a map, just in case their journey is interrupted by an unexpected blizzard.
But if Pascal falls prey to the current precipitation predicament, he won't be too bothered.
He drives a 1990 Volvo 240 - a model that is usually seen with a couple of black labradors and muddy football boots in the back - but in Pascal's car you'll find a fully functioning wood-burning stove.
February 14, 2012
Spice it up
Spice up your Valentine's Day with some 'testi-escargot' for two
“When I think ‘love,’ I think ‘cheeks,’ ‘hearts’ and ‘tongues,’” says chef John Critchley of Washington D.C.’s Urbana Restaurant and Wine Bar.
If your Valentine’s plans are absent cheeks and tongues, maybe it’s time to regroup. Food to woo potential lovers include lobster, steak and molten chocolate cake. They're good and all, but they lack imagination. They lack boldness. The lack balls. Chef Richard Knight lacks neither.
"Tongue in Testicles is always a good one,” Knight says of his sheep testicle and lamb tongue mélange. “They’re a bit like sweet breads,” he says of the testicles. Still a hard sell, but you go with what you’ve got.
February 13, 2012
What a caper
A Cop Chased Himself For 20 Minutes Because CCTV Confused Him With a Suspect
On a cold, dark night on the mean streets of the UK, an undercover police officer was radioed and informed that a potential suspect was close by. Keen to do the right thing, he set off in hot pursuit. Twenty fraught minutes later, he learned he'd been chasing... himself.
February 11, 2012
Got a permit for that teaspoon?
Teaspoon is 'drug paraphernalia', Sainsbury's tells Grocer journo
When is a teaspoon not a teaspoon? When it’s “drug paraphernalia”, The Grocer discovered this week.
The Grocer’s own senior reporter Elinor Zuke was shocked when an age verification alert was triggered by a £1.19 pack of six Basics teaspoons at a self-scan checkout in The Grocer’s local Sainsbury’s store in West Green, Crawley.
When she asked why the purchase had to be verified, she was told the spoons “could be used as drug paraphernalia”.
“I couldn’t understand what the problem was - when the supervisor said it was because they could be used as drug paraphernalia I was completely shocked,” Zuke said.
“I would imagine the vast majority of spoons sold by Sainsbury’s are used for nothing more nefarious than stirring a cup of tea. Having to prove I was over 18 to buy them seemed total madness.” [...]
February 07, 2012
At least his outfit was co-ordinated
Cops Bust Naked Burglar Covered In Chocolate, Peanut Butter
FEBRUARY 3--A naked burglar covered in chocolate and peanut butter was arrested early Tuesday after workers found him inside a Kentucky supermarket.
February 06, 2012
Jack in the Box Creates a Bacon Milkshake
Jack in the Box is now serving a Bacon Milkshake. Yes, it's real, and yes, they are hoping it will cause some sort of bacon-fueled mass hysteria, so it's "as limited as limited can be." Denny's produced a Maple Bacon Sundae for their Baconalia promotion, so it's not unheard of for a chain to add bacon to dessert, although word on the street is the Jack in the Box shake uses bacon-flavored syrup and not actual porky goodness.
H.T. Jeff G
Lawsuit: Defendant Breached a Duty Not to Shoot Bottle Rockets Out of His Anus
From a complaint filed on January 23 in West Virginia, reported today by Courthouse News Service:8. [Defendant] was highly intoxicated on this date and time, and decided in his drunken stupor that it would be a good idea to shoot bottle rockets out of his anus on the [Alpha Tau Omega fraternity] deck, located on the back of the ATO house.
10. [Defendant] placed a bottle rocket in his anus [and] ignited the fuse, but instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in Defendant's rectum, and this startled plaintiff and caused him to jump back, at which time he fell off of the ATO deck, and he became lodged between the deck and an air conditioner unit adjacent to the deck.
13. Per the applicable codes ... the deck in question should have had a railing, which comported with said codes.
16. ATO owed plaintiff a duty to provide a safe deck, including a railing, and ... a duty to supervise its guests and its own fraternity members, such as Defendant, and other under age persons, from consuming alcohol on its premises, which leads to stupid and dangerous activities, such as shooting bottle rockets out of one's own anus.
18. [Defendant] also owed plaintiff ... a duty of care not to drink under age, or to file bottle rockets out of his anus.
Via Clayton Cramer (who has better taste than to quote it)
February 04, 2012
But what do you tell your mother?
This is being reported as ordinary news; it may be the straight dope.
Dozens apply for brothel inspector job
A firm of private investigators in Australia has been advertising for a £50,000-a-year 'brothel inspector'.
The post involves "partaking of sexual services" undercover on behalf of local councils in New South Wales. [...]
"We had dozens if not more than that apply, it was certainly a popular job," he said, "the perfect job for a male.
February 01, 2012
Organic authentic messaging
How Much Can a Celebrity Make for Tweeting?
The weirdest thing about the rumor that Kim Kardashian gets paid $10,000 for a Twitter endorsement is that it’s true. (She recently plugged ShoeDazzle.com*, for instance.) The biggest player in the pay-to-tweet market is Ad.ly, a social-media advertorial clearinghouse pairing brands with celebs to inject highly personalized advertising into their Twitter streams.
The pay rate for endorsing companies like Old Navy, Toyota, Best Buy, and American Airlines is determined by the size of a celeb’s following and how that group responds to his tweets with shares and retweets. [...]
Of course Charlie didn’t write those tweets himself. No celebrity does. Instead, they’re composed by hungry young tweet ghostwriters whose job it is to broadcast a celebrity’s voice in 140 characters. Says Ad.ly CEO Arnie Gullov-Singh, “Consumers react positively to organic authentic messaging.”
Via Carpe Diem
January 30, 2012
Tells you everything except her phone number
News from Brighton, England.
I've slept with 1,000 men so far - I don't care if people judge me!
After spotting a gorgeous young man on her way to the shops, Crystal Warren couldn’t wait to speak to him on her way home. She’d spent her whole grocery trip daydreaming about where they could sneak off for some illicit sex.
Two hours later, after flirting outrageously with the total stranger and talking her way into his bed, she was back at home, delighted at how her afternoon had panned out.
January 29, 2012
We got yer tacos, Mr. Mayor
Hundreds of tacos sent to Connecticut mayor
East Haven, Connecticut (CNN) -- Two days after a Connecticut mayor delivered an errant comment about eating tacos to support East Haven Latinos, some of whom are the alleged victims of police mistreatment, Mayor Joseph Maturo Jr. apparently got his wish.
Some 500 tacos were delivered to his office Thursday after a Latino activist group called Junta for Progressive Action launched a text-for-tacos campaign to draw attention to the comment, which Maturo later apologized for.
January 26, 2012
I believe Texans can deep fry anything
Deep-fried beer invented in Texas
The beer is placed inside a pocket of salty, pretzel-like dough and then dunked in oil at 375 degrees for about 20 seconds, a short enough time for the confection to remain alcoholic.
When diners take a bite the hot beer mixes with the dough in what is claimed to be a delicious taste sensation.
Inventor Mark Zable said it had taken him three years to come up with the cooking method and a patent for the process is pending. He declined to say whether any special ingredients were involved.
His deep-fried beer will be officially unveiled in a fried food competition at the Texas state fair later this month.
H.T. Jeff G
January 25, 2012
Passing the smell test
Strip club launches 'Alibi' aftershave to recreate scent of the office
You're home late, your clothes are dishevelled you smell of alcohol. How do you convince your better half you really weren’t out on the tiles?
The answer may be here... in the form of a new range of aftershaves designed to throw suspicious wives and girlfriends off the scent.
The Alibi range can mask the smell of a heavy night with aromas linked to more wholesome activities.
For example, My Car Broke Down is said to recreate the scent of fuel, burnt rubber, grease and steel, while I Was Working Late packs the odour of coffee, wool suits, cigarettes and ink.
January 24, 2012
Two dollar bill is hot again for Tet
In recent years, giving US$2 bill as lucky money has become a trend in Vietnam, as it is thought to bring good luck. As Tet, or Lunar New Year, draws near, many are willing to pay 60 times the bill’s value to get one.
“$2 bills are produced in small numbers compared to other kinds. Besides, two is a beautiful number in Asian conception. Many buy the bills to put inside their wallet or to give to friends for good luck,” said Nguyen Hang, who works for a big supermarket in Hanoi.
She said she had just reserved a spot to buy a US$2 note, which is worth VND2.5 million ($125).
“It’s not new, but what is special is that it was printed 50 years ago, and its last four digits are 4444. That’s how the value was added up,” she explained.
Via Carpe Diem
January 23, 2012
This was only a test
Passengers on British Airways flight terrified after message warns of crash landing
The friendly skies turned terribly frightening for passengers aboard a trans-Atlantic flight.
The overnight British Airways trip from Miami to London’s Heathrow Airport was thrown into panic after a recorded message mistakenly announced their plane was about to crash in the ocean.
“We were about three hours into the flight when an automated message came over ... saying, ‘This is an emergency. We will shortly be making an emergency landing on water,’” passenger Duncan Farquharson told the London Daily Mail. [...]
“We looked at each other and figured we were both about to die,” he told the British paper. “Families with children were distraught and people were in tears. It was very distressing.”
Thirty seconds later, a crew member casually announced that the prerecorded announcement was played accidentally and there was no risk.
January 20, 2012
Freak washing machine accident boils lab monkey alive
PENNINGTON — They forgot to take the monkey out of the cage.
Bristol-Myers Squibb accidentally killed a crab-eating macaque this past summer when its cage was run through the wash cycle while the primate remained locked inside, according to an inspection report from the U.S. Department of Agriculture.
January 19, 2012
Now go away or I shall taunt you a second time
Iran Mocks US With Toy Drone
The Iranian government, which captured a U.S. stealth drone in December, has agreed to give the top-secret spy craft back, but with a catch.
Instead of the original RQ-170 Sentinel drone, the Islamic Republic said Tuesday that it will send President Obama a tiny toy replica of the plane.
Iranian state radio said that the toy model will be 1/80th the size of the real thing. Iranian citizens can also buy their own toy copies of the drone, which will be available in stores for the equivalent of $4.
The White House formally requested return of the drone after the Iranians displayed it on state television. The U.S. says that the craft was operating over Eastern Afghanistan.
January 18, 2012
Just picture it...
Dressing psychiatrists like wizards on the witness stand
Checking out a published report, Erik Magraken contacted former New Mexico state senator Duncan Scott and found that it was true, the lawmaker had indeed introduced a legislative amendment in 1995 providing that:When a psychologist or psychiatrist testifies during a defendant’s competency hearing, the psychologist or psychiatrist shall wear a cone-shaped hat that is not less than two feet tall. The surface of the hat shall be imprinted with stars and lightning bolts. Additionally, a psychologist or psychiatrist shall be required to don a white beard that is not less than 18 inches in length, and shall punctuate crucial elements of his testimony by stabbing the air with a wand. Whenever a psychologist or psychiatrist provides expert testimony regarding a defendant’s competency, the bailiff shall contemporaneously dim the courtroom lights and administer two strikes to a Chinese gong…
The amendment — intended satirically, one should hasten to add –”passed with a unanimous Senate vote” but was removed from its bill before consideration by the state house and never became law.
Via Coyote blog
January 17, 2012
I wonder if anyone took her up on it?
Police: woman offered sexual favors in exchange for McNuggets
A Los Angeles woman was arrested after she offered sexual favors in exchange for chicken McNuggets, Burbank police said.
Khadijah Baseer of Los Angeles reportedly opened customers’ car doors in the drive-thru of McDonald’s on the 1700 block of Olive Avenue about 11 p.m. Wednesday, asking for free chicken McNuggets in exchange for sexual favors, Officer Joshua Kendrick said.
January 15, 2012
Sleepless in NYC
Ringing Finally Ended, but There’s No Button to Stop Shame
The unmistakably jarring sound of an iPhone marimba ring interrupted the soft and spiritual final measures of Mahler’s Symphony No. 9 at the New York Philharmonic on Tuesday night. The conductor, Alan Gilbert, did something almost unheard-of in a concert hall: He stopped the performance. But the ringing kept on going, prompting increasingly angry shouts in the audience directed at the malefactor. [...]
But no one, it seems, felt worse than the culprit, who agreed to an interview on Thursday on condition that he not be identified — for obvious reasons.
“You can imagine how devastating it is to know you had a hand in that,” said the man, who described himself as a business executive between 60 and 70 who runs two companies. “It’s horrible, horrible.” The man said he had not slept in two days.
January 12, 2012
Man asked why he has large amount of cash, 'I don't have a job, read between the lines'
CRESTVIEW — A 24-year-old man was arrested Dec. 18 on charges of cocaine distribution, smuggling contraband into a detention facility and misdemeanor narcotic equipment possession.
Adrian Lamar Warren was pulled over after running a red light at McCaskill Street and East James Lee Boulevard, according to his Okaloosa County Sheriff's arrest report. [...]
During an interview, Warren was asked why he had such a large amount of cash and he responded saying, "I don't have a job, read between the lines."
January 11, 2012
Criminal master minds (3)
Robber hands gun to cashier by mistake during robbery
The thief raided the Halifax bank in Cheapside in the City of London and demanded £700,000 in cash from the bank worker.
But after making his demands, the crook - who was wearing shades and a flat cap - handed over his gun to the cashier instead of a bag.
The male cashier froze as the crook realised his mistake and made a grab for his gun before running off as the security shutters came down.
Bank staff immediately raised the alarm, but the thief escaped after stealing a bank worker's bike and pedalling off.
January 10, 2012
Markets in everything (16)
Sci-Fi Brothel to Open in Nevada
Hey gents, have you ever found yourself jealous of Captain James T. Kirk and his, …er intergalactic conquests? Do you longingly watch Jabba the Hutt’s dancing slave (her name is Oola, if you’re interested) and wonder, what if? Do you long to go where no man has gone before? Well, once a new sci-fi brothel opens in Nevada, you can.
Nevada is the only state that allows legal prostitution, and there are two dozen licensed brothels in the state, but none are sci fi-themed, yet. Nevada businessman and documentary star Dennis Hof just bought a run-down brothel 90 miles from Las Vegas and is planning on turning it into his newest business venture: Alien Cathouse.
January 09, 2012
Sure it did
'Stolen' car parks itself in garage
A BIZARRE case involving a stolen car at Stirling has been cracked.
The case started when an Upper Sturt man left his car in the rear car park of the shopping complex at the corner of Pine St and Old Mt Barker Rd in Stirling while he went for a walk early on Sunday, December 18.
When he returned 15 minutes later, the car was nowhere to be found and he reported it stolen to police.
The stolen car was unaccounted for until Wednesday, January 4, when the new owners of a nearby house returned home.
They reported to police that while they were away, someone had broken into their garage. [...]
"Inside the garage they discovered the stolen car."
Investigations revealed that the man originally left the car without placing its automatic transmission into park.
"After he walked away, the car rolled through the car-park, across the road, down the driveway and forced itself under the roller door, parking perfectly inside the garage where it remained safely undercover for 17 days," the spokesman said.
January 06, 2012
And how do you spell that, sir?
Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop arrested
A man with a rather unique name was arrested by Madison police Thursday because police said he was violating bail conditions from previous problems with the law.
Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop, 30, Madison, was tentatively charged with carrying a concealed weapon, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and a probation violation after his arrest at about 3 p.m. in the 800 block of East Mifflin Street.
January 05, 2012
Squirrely or not?
Years ago, we lived a neighborhood with many trees and so with many squirrels too. One of our neighbors used to trap the squirrels (in live traps), drive them to a city park about 6 blocks away, and release them there. My guess was that the squirrels were back at his house before he was.
Residents firing at squirrels creates an issue in Chesterfield
Former Chesterfield Ward 1 Councilman Gene Schenberg insists he has the constitutional right to use firearms or other weapons to protect his home from repeated invasions.
But Schenberg's firing of pellet guns and darts to quell nuisance squirrels on his property has become a danger, said current Ward 1 Councilman Matt Segal, who defeated Schenberg for the council post three years ago.
January 04, 2012
This beats a birth certificate story
White House Denies CIA Teleported Obama to Mars
Forget Kenya. Never mind the secret madrassas. The sinister, shocking truth about Barack Obama’s past lies not in east Africa, but in outer space. As a young man in the early 1980s, Obama was part of a secret CIA project to explore Mars. The future president teleported there, along with the future head of Darpa.
That’s the assertion, at least, of a pair of self-proclaimed time-traveling, universe-exploring government agents. Andrew D. Basiago and William Stillings insist that they once served as “chrononauts” at Darpa’s behest, traversing the boundaries of time and space. They swear: A youthful Barack Obama was one of them.
January 03, 2012
Fashion designer crafts gown out of Ford Focus parts
Auto designers spend a lot of time trying to achieve the classiness of haute couture. Now fashion designers are trying emulate them, incorporating car parts into a gown.
Two young British designers have created an elegant Edwardian dress and necklace with parts from a 2012 Ford Focus.
Scottish designer Judy Clark formed her frock with the help of two boxes full of components sent by Ford -- car keys, radio and dashboard components, seat covers and two red taillights. Clark said she wanted to create a dress that was both feminine yet involved industrial mechanics, Ford says.
January 02, 2012
Orangutans to Skype between zoos with iPads
For the last six months, orangutans — those great, hairy, orange apes that go “ook” a lot — at Milwaukee zoo have been playing games and watching videos on Apple’s (seemingly ubiquitous) iPad, but now their keepers and the charity Orangutan Outreach want to go one step further and enable ape-to-ape video chat via Skype or FaceTime.
January 01, 2012
A real high-roller
Lexington man charged with making a fake $1 million bill and trying to spend it
Talk about leaving the store with a big chunk of change.
A Lexington man is accused trying to use a fake $1 million bill to pay for his purchases at a Walmart.
Michael Anthony Fuller, 53, of 3 Parker St., walked into the Walmart on Lowes Boulevard in Lexington on Nov. 17. He shopped for a while, picking up a vacuum cleaner, a microwave oven and other merchandise, totaling $476, an arrest warrant says.
When he got to the register, Fuller gave the cashier the phony bill, saying that it was real.
December 30, 2011
Kind columnist vows to help N.Y.Times readers on its reneged offer
Oh, geez, where's the Unsend button?
It's happened to most everybody, though less expensively so. A worker for the New York Times was preparing a pleading missive to several hundred disgruntled subscribers noting that they had recently canceled their paper deliveries.
We've all received such offers, some of them pretty good. 'We just know you miss us.' How about we cut the price of your newspaper subscription in half for the next 12, no, make that 16 weeks as a gesture of commercial good will -- and privately, "God Almighty, we've got to stop this circulation drop somehow!"
The Times worker, who will shortly be informed that he/she has accepted the next buyout offer, pushed the button. And off the email went -- to nearly 9 million people on the wrong list.
People who had not canceled their subscriptions. People who'd given their email to the newspaper for some reason long ago. People who liked the generous out-of-the-blue offer to cut in half what they'd already paid in full. And people who had thought the famous newspaper knew what was going on in the world but now discovered in its own offices apparently not so much.
December 29, 2011
Man shot as people pass around loaded gun
A Rock Island man was shot in his lower right leg and ankle when a loaded 12-gauge shotgun, which several people were passing around inside a house and posing with for pictures, discharged and struck him, Moline police said.
December 28, 2011
Meet Pink Sparkly
'Call me Pink Sparkly And All Things Nice' says name change salon owner
Beauty therapist Charlotte Price has changed her name to Pink Sparkly And All Things Nice in a bid to promote her business.
The Nottingham mother of three, who goes by the shortened version of her name, Pink Nice, is just one of 100,000 Brits who decided to change their name this year.
She admits that she is obsessed with the colour, wears mostly pink clothes and has decorated her house in the colour, complete with furnishings.
'Everyone is still calling me by my old name. My mum thinks I'm a bit mad really and so do my children. They stick to Mum,' she said
The salon worker even decked her business out entirely in the colour and even uses pink wax on her clients.
December 26, 2011
Markets in everything (15)
Mexico Mayan region launches apocalypse countdown
Seize the day.
Only 52 weeks and a day are left before Dec. 21, 2012, when some believe the Maya predicted the end of the world.
Unlike enthusiasts of other doomsday theories who suggest putting together survival kits, southeastern Mexico, the heart of Maya territory, plans a yearlong celebration.
Mexico's tourism agency expects to draw 52 million visitors by next year only to the regions of Chiapas, Yucatan, Quintana Roo, Tabasco and Campeche. All of Mexico usually lures about 22 million foreigners in a year.
December 24, 2011
Merry effin' Christmas
X-rated Christmas email wishing staff 'good sex' gets police chief suspended
Euclides Santos, police chief in the central Portuguese city of Coimbra, was suspended after an x-rated power point presentation was emailed out to all municipal staff in place of a wholesome festive message.
The presentation, featured on Portuguese television, included images of scantily clad women and was rounded off by Mr Santos wishing the 15,000 recipients success in the bedroom, Reuters reported.
'Enough with insincere and useless words. What I wish you from the bottom of my heart, is that you have incredible sexual relations, live a merry and happy life, work hard and get well paid,' the slide said.
December 23, 2011
Joe Schmo's Lambo
Utah man wins Lamborghini, crashes it hours later
SALT LAKE CITY — A truck driver who won a Lamborghini worth about $300,000 in a convenience store contest crashed the sports car six hours after he got it, and he now plans to sell the 640-horsepower convertible because he can't afford the insurance or taxes.
"I already had offers on it. I'm going to sell it," David Dopp said Wednesday. "I have bills more important than a Lamborghini. I've got a family to support."
Dopp, a 34-year-old truck driver for Frito-Lay, spun out of control just a few hours after taking the keys to the Murcielago Roadster that he won in a "Joe Schmo to Lambo" contest sponsored by Maverik convenience stores.
December 22, 2011
I'm sure these assaults were no fun for the victims. Nonetheless, this sounds like an SNL skit.
Amish beard-cutting suspects arrested
Federal agents arrested the leader of a renegade Amish group and six others in eastern Ohio on Wednesday and charged them with hate crimes for a series of beard- and hair-cutting assaults against Amish men and women.
In a case that drew wide attention because of the unusual nature of the attacks, five of the men were arrested last month on kidnapping and other state charges, and were out on bail. [...]
In at least four violent attacks over the last few months, groups of men from Mullet's compound held men down to shear their beards with scissors and battery-operated clippers. In one case, several of Mullet's nephews also hacked off the hair of their own mother — Mullet's sister — who had fled the compound years earlier.
December 20, 2011
Plus ça change...
115-year-old electric car gets same 40 miles to the charge as Chevy Volt
Meet the Roberts electric car. Built in 1896, it gets a solid 40 miles to the charge — exactly the mileage Chevrolet advertises for the Volt — the much-touted $31,645 electric car General Motors CEO Dan Akerson called "not a step forward, but a leap forward."
The executives at Chevrolet can rest easy for now. Since the Roberts was constructed in an age before Henry Ford's mass production, the 115-year-old electric car is one of a kind.
December 19, 2011
Anonymous donors pay off Kmart layaway accounts
OMAHA, Neb. (AP) — The young father stood in line at the Kmart layaway counter, wearing dirty clothes and worn-out boots. With him were three small children.
He asked to pay something on his bill because he knew he wouldn't be able to afford it all before Christmas. Then a mysterious woman stepped up to the counter.
"She told him, 'No, I'm paying for it,'" recalled Edna Deppe, assistant manager at the store in Indianapolis. "He just stood there and looked at her and then looked at me and asked if it was a joke. I told him it wasn't, and that she was going to pay for him. And he just busted out in tears." [...]
Before she left the store Tuesday evening, the Indianapolis woman in her mid-40s had paid the layaway orders for as many as 50 people. On the way out, she handed out $50 bills and paid for two carts of toys for a woman in line at the cash register.
December 16, 2011
Cheaper than an empty patrol car
Cardboard cop cars slow traffic
Traffic police in China have come up with a cost effective way of slowing down speeding motorists - with a cardboard cut-out of a squad car.
The cut-outs, which look like police vehicles from behind, are being used as a traffic calming technigue in eastern China's Jiangsu Province.
One motorist, Liu Yuan, said: "I spotted what I thought was a police vehicle parked on the hard shoulder so I hit the brakes. [...]
"It was so realistic. It even had a solar panel to power a flashing light to make it look even more realistic at night."
December 15, 2011
Hot wheels (2)
Petrolhead gives old 1967 Chevrolet a top speed of 300mph
A speed demon has come up with a novel way of making his car go faster - by strapping a cruise missile engine to its roof.
Once a reliable 1967 Chevrolet barely driven over 100mph, the Jet-Impala 67 can now reach speeds of up to 300mph.
The powerful car also fires out 30ft flames and leaves massive clouds of smoke in its wake.
The monstrous motor created by petrolhead Paul Stender, has a 10,000bhp engine - the equivalent of 10 Bugetti Verons.
December 14, 2011
Sandusky lawyer inadvertently touts gay sex line
BELLEFONTE, Pa. — A lawyer for a former Penn State assistant football coach accused of molesting boys said Tuesday he didn't mean to refer to a gay sex phone line when he said anyone who believes university officials thought his client raped a 10-year-old boy and did little about it should call 1-800-REALITY.
The phrase is one attorney Joseph Amendola says he has used for years to mean "get a life," but the phone number is that of a sex line for gay and bi-curious men.
H.T. Paul B
December 13, 2011
So take that!
N Korea furious at South's Christmas lights plan
North Korea has warned South Korea of "unexpected consequences" if it lights up a Christmas tree-shaped tower near their tense border.
The North's state-run Uriminjokkiri website said it would amount to a form of "psychological warfare".
Seoul's annual tradition of lighting up a Christmas tree tower was suspended in 2003 following a warming of ties.
However, the South lit a tower last year as relations deteriorated between the neighbours. [...]
The official says the towers will be located in the western, central and eastern parts of the border and security will be tight during the 15 days they are lit, beginning on 23 December.
Via The Agitator
December 12, 2011
Reports of her death are greatly exaggerated
Hey, I’m Not Dead Yet
BROOKVILLE, Pa. (December 9, 2011)—A Pennsylvania man published an obituary for his still-living mother in an attempt to get paid bereavement time off from work, authorities say.
Relatives called The Jeffersonian Democrat newspaper in Brookville, Pa., after the obit appeared to report that the woman was actually alive and well and to underscore that, the woman visited the paper, too.
Click here to find out more!
Brookville police charged Scott Bennett, 45, with disorderly conduct on Tuesday.
December 09, 2011
Looks like Zero Tolerance works both ways
Principal forced out over 9-year-old's 'sexual harassment' suspension
The principal who accused a 9-year-old North Carolina boy of sexual harassment for allegedly calling a teacher "cute" has been forced to retire. [...]
Jerry Bostic, principal of Brookside Elementary School in Gastonia, told WSOC on Tuesday night that he had retired because of the controversy.
"One mistake in 44 years, and I'm not given the benefit of the doubt. I really don't believe I was treated fairly," Bostic told the station.
December 08, 2011
Who says prayer doesn't work?
'I put my hands in holy water and asked Jesus to give me some boobs'
She defies the size zero ideal of beauty with her vivacious curves, but Salma Hayek claims she didn't always have the womanly figure she is recognised for now. [...]
She said: 'I was the youngest in class and all these girls were starting to get them (breasts) and I wasn't getting anything - I was really scared.
'I was getting teased a lot because everyone was older and I was the skinny tomboy.'
Salma added: 'I went to a church that had a saint that was supposed to do a lot of miracles.
'I put my hands in the holy water and went: "Please Jesus give me some boobs."'
December 07, 2011
A moving experience
Hanford worker goes for wild ride in portable toilet
A forklift operator learned the value of knocking first after he moved a Hanford portable toilet with a Teamster still in it.
On Oct. 5, a forklift operator near Hanford's D and DR reactors picked up the chemical toilet to move it to a new location, unaware that it was occupied, according to an occurrence report filed with the Department of Energy.
The driver lifted the outhouse 12 to 18 inches off the ground and backed it up about 15 feet across a gravel haul road. The door was against the loading rack of the forklift, trapping the Teamster inside.
The driver set the chemical toilet down to secure it to the loading rack, and when he got out of the forklift cab, he heard the Teamster inside. The report didn't indicate what the Teamster was saying.
December 06, 2011
It's a small world (4)
Bulawayo man gets shocked as his newly hired prostitute happens to be his daughter
A man in Bulawayo's Nkulumane 5 suburb got the shock of his life after a commercial sex worker he allegedly called to his hotel room turned out to be his daughter. Mr Titus Ncube is said to have collapsed while the 20-year-old daughter bolted after seeing her father.
December 05, 2011
Effin in County Limerick seen as 'offensive' on Facebook
For most people adding the name of where they live on Facebook is relatively straightforward.
A problem, however, arises when the place where you live is seemingly branded as offensive by the social networking site.
One woman from Effin in County Limerick in the Irish Republic has so far been unable to add the village name to the 'home place' section of her Facebook profile.
Ann Marie Kennedy, who works in the department of nursing and midwifery at the University of Limerick, has now started an online campaign to to get Effin recognised.
"I was born and raised in Effin and my family come from here," she said. [...]
Ms Kennedy now lives in Banogue but hopes to move back to Effin. "I'm a proud Effin woman and I always will be an Effin woman," she said.
December 02, 2011
The Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. Detention Facility's Newest Inmate: Yup, Patrick J. Sullivan
If you needed any real-world evidence as to why you should never put your name on a building while you're still alive, former Arapahoe County Sheriff Patrick J. Sullivan Jr. has you covered.
The National Sheriff Association's 2001 "Sheriff of the Year" was arrested on Tuesday, suspected of trafficking methamphetamine, according to CBS Denver. The 68-year-old Sullivan served as Arapahoe County (Colorado) Sheriff for 19 years before retiring from his elected post in 2002.
December 01, 2011
Payback time (4)
Picture at the link -- it's a piece of work.
A FURIOUS woman is suing her ex-boyfriend after he tattooed a steaming poo on her back.
Rossie Brovent wants £60,000 in damages from Ryan Fitzjerald.
Rossie, from Dayton, Ohio, US, wanted a scene from the Narnia trilogy inked on her back.
Instead she was left with a pile of excrement with flies buzzing around it.
Tattoo artist Ryan turned rogue after discovering that Rossie had cheated on him with his best friend.
H.T. Ms M.
Or maybe not.
November 30, 2011
Adding insult to injury
A really crazy story - worth reading the whole thing.
Man Sues Couple He Kidnapped
[...] Jesse Dimmick [...] sued Jared and Lindsay Rowley last month. Dimmick was convicted in May 2010 of four felonies, including two counts of kidnapping, for a 2009 incident in which he held the Rowleys against their will for several hours. Dimmick was fleeing a murder charge in a stolen van when he drove over some spikes laid by Topeka police. The van came to rest in the Rowleys' front yard, and Dimmick then invited himself in at knifepoint to enjoy some involuntary hospitality.
November 29, 2011
A communist chocolate hellhole
Interesting first name.
Man arrested at Large Hadron Collider claims he's from the future
A would-be saboteur arrested today at the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland made the bizarre claim that he was from the future. Eloi Cole, a strangely dressed young man, said that he had travelled back in time to prevent the LHC from destroying the world. [...]
Mr Cole was seized by Swiss police after CERN security guards spotted him rooting around in bins. He explained that he was looking for fuel for his 'time machine power unit', a device that resembled a kitchen blender.
Police said Mr Cole, who was wearing a bow tie and rather too much tweed for his age, would not reveal his country of origin. "Countries do not exist where I am from. The discovery of the Higgs boson led to limitless power, the elimination of poverty and Kit-Kats for everyone. It is a communist chocolate hellhole and I'm here to stop it ever happening."
November 28, 2011
Don't kick the dog
'Frosty the Snowman' arrested at Maryland parade
CHESTERTOWN, Md. (AP) — Who says "Frosty the Snowman" has to be jolly?
A man in a "Frosty the Snowman" costume was arrested Saturday during the annual Christmas parade in Chestertown, on Maryland's Eastern Shore. He's accused of scuffling with police and kicking at a police dog.
Sgt. John A. Dolgos tells The Star Democrat of Easton that 52-year-old Kevin Michael Walsh became agitated when a dog-handling officer tried to escort him away from the crowd.
It amazes me that many cops won't hesitate to kill dogs but in this case they're accusing Walsh of "kicking at" a police dog.
Got any nude pictures of your wife?
This sort of reminds me of an old joke.
Husband exorted, embarrassed wife with sex pictures, jury finds
Jovica "Joshua" Petrovic was a vengeful man, federal officials said.
When his short-lived marriage began crumbling in 2009, Petrovic threatened to release family secrets.
Beginning in 2010, after his wife said she wanted a divorce, he stalked and harassed her and mailed roughly 150 homemade postcards to her boss, friends, relatives and neighbors. The cards carried suggestive pictures, insults and the address of a website where he posted still pictures from secretly made videos of them having sex, embarrassing personal information and some outright lies.
He demanded $100,000, her wedding and engagement rings and furniture he claimed she stole from a storage unit, in exchange for shutting down the site.
November 24, 2011
Best abstract ever
From this paper (PDF).
Via The Agitator
November 23, 2011
Be A True Bacon Lover With Baconlube
A few years ago J&D's, the makers of BaconSalt and Baconnaise, posted an ad for Baconlube as an April Fool's Day joke. The company tried to move on, but as they explain, "People harassed us via email, in public and in highly inappropriate ways (thanks for that). The waiting list grew to over 3,000 people. Expectations were built."
Now they've created a limited quantity of bacon-flavored lube and massage oils for troubled individuals who want their lover to taste more like cured pork. You shouldn't be shy about contacting the company because they promise, "We'll make no judgments about why you want this or what you want to do with it." However, you may want to figure out if your partner is interested in breakfast-themed sex before springing this on them.
November 21, 2011
Markets in everything (14)
Teacher's Porn Site Business ... Gets Her in Trouble With California School District
Hot for teacher? She's got a business plan for that, apparently.
A 35-year-old California high school teacher is in hot water this week after her ex-husband reportedly revealed she was allegedly running "several" porn sites, including MySluttyTeacher.com, from her district-issue laptop, Fox 40 in Stockton reports. [...]
Of course, if this porn site business turns out to be fruitful, Kaeslin might just have a yawn and a good laugh. She's on paid leave as it is.
Finding inspiration for her operations, however, might prove to be more difficult if horny school boys aren't staring at her equipment.
One on of Kaeslin's sites the impetus for her digital smut was said to be the fact that ...... Her male students spent most of the period staring at her boobs.
November 18, 2011
Meet some cat fanciers
$27,500 bill to save dying cat
A Perth family paid $27,500 in veterinary bills to keep their cat alive after it was bitten by a tiger snake.
Meadow Springs couple Brigitte and David Harris took out a $20,000 bank loan, $18,000 of which they still owe, to pay for Ollie's treatment, but said it was worth it.
The family did not have pet insurance and Mr Harris advised other pet owners to consider it.
November 16, 2011
Ain't no pork up in the pan
Soy Diet Is Cruel and Unusual, Florida Inmate Claims
MIAMI — One too many bouts of flatulence and cramping has led a Florida inmate to sue the Department of Corrections, arguing that the prison's soy-based turkey dogs and sloppy Joes amount to cruel and unusual punishment.
Eric D. Harris, 34, who is serving a life sentence for sexual battery on a child, said the soy in his prison chow is threatening his health by endangering his thyroid and immune system. Florida prisons serve meals with 50 percent soy and 50 percent poultry three times a day, a mixture that costs half as much as using beef and pork, the Department of Corrections says. The cost per meal: $1.70 a day for each inmate. Florida prisons first began serving soy-based meals in 2009.
November 15, 2011
A foul-mouthed fairy
(Not that I blame her, mind you.)
Fan launches food drive to show support for fired Sugar Plum Fairy
ST. CHARLES • Fans of the fired Sugar Plum Fairy have come up with a sweet way to show support.
Mike Swart, who started a Facebook page to save the Sugar Plum Fairy's job, is organizing a food drive that includes sweets as well as traditional food pantry items. He's hoping the thousand-plus people who have "liked" the Facebook page will participate.
Laura Coppinger, 29, who portrayed the character at the annual Christmas Traditions festival on historic Main Street for the last six years, was fired for cursing, not on the job, but when she went to take a drug test mandated for all city employees.
November 14, 2011
'My boobs saved my life'
A FLAT-CHESTED woman cheated death in a horror car smash — thanks to her 'chicken fillet' bra pads.
Lisa Somerville was driving home in heavy rain when she lost control of her car and careered head-on into another vehicle.
The 28-year-old had to be cut from the car by firefighters and was rushed to hospital with a punctured lung, four cracked ribs and a broken nose.
Doctors later told the mum-of-one how she would almost certainly have died had she not been wearing the silicone implants to boost her AAA bust.
November 11, 2011
Age cannot wither
World's oldest groom ties the knot at 120
What man doesn't want to marry a woman half his age?
Hazi Abdul Noor, a 120-year-old widower in India, made history this past weekend when he married 60-year-old Samoi Bibi, reports the Times of India.
More than 500 guests attended the wedding in Satghori, a remote village in the state of Assam. More than 100 of them were the groom's immediate family members - two sons, four daughters, their spouses and their many children.
November 10, 2011
I'll bet he's... well... relieved
Nigerian actor freed after 25 bowel movements
A leading Nigerian comic actor arrested on suspicion of ingesting drugs to smuggle to Europe was on Friday freed on bail after 25 closely monitored bowel movements produced nothing suspicious.
November 09, 2011
Paging Crystal Gayle
Doctor Offers Laser Treatment to Permanently Make Brown Eyes Blue
This week's step forward in conforming to the beauty standard at any cost is a laser that can turn brown eyes into blue ones. The treatment, developed by Stroma Medical's Dr. Gregg Homer, takes only 20 seconds to perform, but is irreversible. Aside from giving you the piercing stare of an Arctic wolf, the procedure could also impair your sight, experts warn. Brown eye pigment helps to prevent problems such as glare and double vision. Removing it could leave the eye with no way to control the light getting in.
Homer assures the BBC that the laser only affects pigment on the eye's surface and that the frequencies used are absorbed by the dark pigment on the iris, so there is no danger of eye damage. After testing on cadavers, he has moved his operation to Mexico, where he says there has been no evidence of injury thus far. His seventeen short-sighted patients have been offered lens transplants in return for taking part in the procedure.
November 07, 2011
Somebody's gotta do it
Brad Lebo is one of the best golfers in the world. He's never competed at Augusta National Golf Club or played a round with Tiger Woods, but he has already won a Masters Tournament and the U.S. Open. Twice.
Lebo is a professional mini golfer. Don't make a windmill joke just yet, though.
"When [people] give me grief about being a professional miniature golfer, if it's someone I know well, I'll say, 'What have you been the national champion at?' and that will end the conversation," Lebo said.
November 04, 2011
New York Corduroy Appreciation Club searching for 11-year-olds born on 11/11
Somewhere in the city there is a child who will turn 11 on Nov. 11 — and a band of corduroy enthusiasts is hunting for that kid.
It's all part of the Corduroy Appreciation Club's celebration of 11/11/11, the date it says most closely resembles the ribs of its favorite fabric.
"That child is the messiah of corduroy," said Miles Rohan, founder of the 4,000-member club, which was started as a half-joke in 2005. "We liken it to finding the Dalai Lama."
November 01, 2011
But you already know that
An ad on Craigslist.
Seeking Clairvoyant (Rochester)
Date: 2011-10-29, 6:42PM EDT
Reply to: firstname.lastname@example.org [Errors when replying to ads?]
If you have the required abilities you already know what we are asking of you. You know where to find us. We are ready.
October 28, 2011
The smell of old electrons
The smell of e-books just got better
Does your Kindle leave you feeling like there's something missing from your reading experience?
Have you been avoiding e-books because they just don't smell right? [...]
But all of that is changing thanks to Smell of Books™, a revolutionary new aerosol e-book enhancer.
Via Carpe Diem
October 26, 2011
You can eat armadillos?
Man Allegedly Beat Woman with Frozen Armadillo
DALLAS - A man used a frozen armadillo to attack a 57-year old Pleasant Grove woman, Dallas police said.
The incident happened on Sept. 29 in an apartment complex parking lot.
According to investigators, the altercation occurred when the suspect was selling the carcass to the victim, who planned to eat the animal.
October 24, 2011
It's hard to argue with the scientific method
From Britain's The Sun, originators of the "Page 3" topless-female-photo feature.
Test assesses best breasts
A DOCTOR has worked out what makes the perfect boobs — after carefully analysing 100 of our Page 3 girls.
Plastic surgeon Patrick Mallucci identified four key features during a three-month study.
First, the part of the boob lying below the nipple was ten per cent fuller than that above it — like those of Page 3 Hollie and model Kelly Brook. [See image at the site. - jdj]
Next, the nipples themselves were angled upwards at 20 degrees.
Finally the skin sloped flatly or inward above the nipple, and curved outwards below it.
Dr Mallucci explained: "The nipple meridian — a horizontal line drawn at the level of the nipple — lay at a point such that the proportion of the breast above it was 45 per cent and below 55 per cent."
October 21, 2011
Hate your job? (3)
I once rode a train in Egypt that had this type of plumbing (I was surprised to find).
Excrement and urine shower Zurich tunnel workers
Construction workers at the main railway station in Zurich have issued an ultimatum to rail operator SBB, threatening to stop working if excrement continues to fall from the ceiling of an alleyway they are building.
The problem derives from the fact that some of the old carriages on Swiss trains use toilets that deposit faeces directly onto the tracks. The human waste usually stays in place until it dries or the rain washes it away.
But an exception occurs whenever someone uses the toilets on trains stopped at Zurich station.
Construction workers operating below tracks 10,11,12,13,15 and 16 have reported receiving frequent faecal showers from cracks in the ceiling of the passageway where they are working.
October 20, 2011
OK, but whose?
Taiwanese woman finds out she has testicles
(THE STAR/ASIA NEWS NETWORK) - Sin Chew Daily reported that a Taiwanese woman was shocked when a gynaecologist told her that she had testicles.
The woman, 34, decided to consult a specialist after experiencing pain in her genital area.
It was her first time seeking treatment from a gynaecologist although she had never experienced menstruation in her life.
October 19, 2011
Only in Japan (5)
Pictures at the link (and a list of 'quirky innovations).
"Poop As You Go" Biogas Bike To Go On 600 Mile Tour Of Japan
Never dreamed poop could get you blazing down the asphalt? Well, now it all comes true as Japan's biggest toilet maker, TOTO, takes the toilet on the road with its launch of the Toilet Bike Neo, a bike that's powered entirely by human waste. The bike runs on biogas converted from feces that is harvested directly from the driver -- who sits on the bike's toilet-styled seat. It gives a new twist to "poop as you go," but that's not the only quirky innovation that this bike will feature.
October 18, 2011
Police: Man impersonating cop pulls over real cop
Police say a New Mexico man pretending to be police officer pulled over a real Albuquerque Police Department detective and is facing charges.
KOB-TV reports ( http://bit.ly/qRna9O) that Tyree Appleberry was given the citation Wednesday on charges of impersonating a police officer then arrested for an outstanding warrant.
According to police, the 42-year-old turned on his strobe lights on his white Chevy Tahoe in an attempt to stop a driver, who turned out to be an undercover officer..
October 14, 2011
Answers for any question
Family Googled 'easiest way to kill an old person' before trying to murder 89-year-old grandfather
A British family Googled "the easiest way to kill an old person" before attempting to murder their 89-year-old relative for inheritance, authorities said.
The elderly victim's adopted daughter, his 16-year-old granddaughter and 19-year-old grandson have been convicted of conspiracy to murder in an English court. [...]
The family researched the possibility of poisoning the man with toadstools but then opted for attempting to "frighten him to death" by throwing bricks at his window late at night, prosecutors said.
October 13, 2011
How... um... convenient
Dutch trains substitute plastic bags for bathrooms
AMSTERDAM — The Dutch national railway has an unusual solution for passengers who need the bathroom on a train line designed without them: plastic bags.
The rail operator underlined that the bags, introduced Friday, are for use in emergencies only, when a train has stopped and passengers can't be evacuated. The idea has been met with incredulity by politicians and the general public already unhappy with the short-haul "Sprinter" trains' bathroomless design.
October 12, 2011
The headline writer couldn't resist
Stoner arrested for alleged possession of marijuana
Daniel Stoner, 26, was arrested early Friday for possession of cocaine and marijuana.
Bloomington Police Department Lt. Bill Parker said a foot patrol officer first noticed Stoner and two others sitting on a step in an alleyway on the south side of Brothers Bar and Grill. The officer thought he saw the men passing around marijuana, so he approached the group. He reportedly saw a bag of marijuana and a glass pipe.
October 11, 2011
Only two weeks left
Canada's Best Restroom 2011
The finalists have been chosen! Voting ends October 24th and the winner will be announced this fall!
Sometimes the using the restroom can be quite the memorable experience. Establishments can have facilities that make you want to return or never come back. The Canada's Best Restroom contest is a great way to celebrate and promote business and bring recognition to your favourite establishments. Cintas will crown the 2nd Annual Canada's Best Restroom King of the Throne this fall!
October 10, 2011
The bare facts
Naked ex-postman superglues himself to desk in Job Centre protest
Ian Robinson, 43, had to leave his job after developing arthritis, but the authorities have ruled he is not entitled to disability benefits and he must now try to survive on Jobseeker's Allowance.
Mr Robinson decided to demonstrate how angry he was about the decision by staging a bizarre protest in front of shocked staff at Bridlington Job Centre.
'When I started taking my clothes off, a man said "You can't do that in here", so I went over and glued myself to his desk. Nobody tried to stop me, it was too late by that point,' he told the Yorkshire Post.
October 07, 2011
Sounds like it worked
Man's Halloween Decorations Prompt 911 Call
SALISBURY, N.C. -- No one was harmed in the making of this Halloween decoration.
But the Salisbury Post reported Tuesday that the roadside attraction was realistic enough for at least one 911 caller to report what looked like a grisly accident.
It actually was the harmless creation of a man with a vivid imagination and a broken lawnmower.
Chris Deaton made the decoration, which shows what appears to be a body with bloodstained jeans trapped under the blades of a riding mower. The victim seems to be taking it well, though, as he's holding a can of beer.
October 05, 2011
Pair in hospital after Kismot 'killer' curry contest
Two people have been taken to hospital following the "world's hottest chilli" competition at an Edinburgh Indian restaurant.
Emergency services were called to the Kismot restaurant in St Leonards Street on Saturday afternoon after some competitors became "very unwell".
The competition involves people eating the "Kismot Killer" curry. [...]
On the restaurant's website it insists that participants sign a legal disclaimer before taking part in the competition, which raises money for the Scottish children's charity Chas.
October 04, 2011
There are worse places to be stranded
Family rescued from Studland nudist beach as boat sinks
A family had to be rescued after their boat began sinking and they became stranded on a nudist beach in Dorset. [...]
A spokeswoman for RNLI said: "Unfortunately for them the nearest bit of land though was in the middle of the naturist beach at Studland.
"Apart from being shaken [the family was] okay.
"But the children had the additional trauma of the surroundings so they were taken onboard the inshore lifeboat and distracted from the scene."
October 03, 2011
How to impress your date
Man shoots self on first date
CHARLOTTE, N.C., Sept. 29 (UPI) -- Police in North Carolina said a couple's first date was interrupted when a man accidentally shot himself in a parking garage.
Charlotte police said the couple returned to the man's car after eating Tuesday at Ruth's Chris Steakhouse on Fairview Road and the man's gun, which was in the car, somehow went off and shot the man, The Charlotte Observer reported Wednesday.
September 29, 2011
Markets in everything (13)
Are you tired of being embarrassed by the fact that you don't have a girlfriend? Do you wish that you could get interrupted by a loving phone-call during man time?
Let me introduce you to FakeGirlfriend.
How it Works
1 Save (212) 804-6979 to your phone under your "girlfriend's" name.
2 When you're out with your friends, send a text to the FakeGirlfriend number.
3 FakeGirlfriend will respond with a random girlfriend-esque message.
4 About a minute later, FakeGirlfriend will call you with a pre-recorded message.
5 After you hang up, tell everyone how great your "girlfriend" is.
Via Carpe Diem
September 28, 2011
"Toe Suck Fairy" arrested on new charges
LITTLE ROCK, Ark (Reuters) - A man known in Arkansas as the "Toe Suck Fairy" for a series of 1990s assaults directed at women's feet was arrested after he struck again more than a decade later, police said.
Michael Robert Wyatt, 50, was arrested on Monday after two women identified him from a photo line-up as "the man who approached them in local stores commenting on their feet and asking to suck their toes," said LaTresha Woodruff, spokeswoman for the Conway Police Department.
One of the women described the man as having "really messed up toes."
September 27, 2011
Markets in everything (12)
Rent-A-Guinea Pig Service Takes Off in Switzerland
Swiss animal lover Priska Küng runs a kind of matchmaking agency -- for lonely guinea pigs that have lost their partners. She lives with around 80 of the furry, squeaky little creatures, in addition to six cats, a number of rabbits, hamsters and mice in the village of Hadlikon, some 30 kilometers from Zürich.
Küng, 41, rents out her guinea pigs, a service that has been in high demand in the Alpine nation ever since animal welfare rules were tightened up a few years ago. Switzerland has forbidden people from keeping lone guinea pigs because the animals are sociable and need each other's company.
As a result, the sudden death of a guinea pig, shocking enough in itself, can also place the hapless owners outside the law if they only had two of the pets.
September 26, 2011
The undie run
Thousands run in underwear to protest Utah laws
SALT LAKE CITY (AP) -- Thousands of people stripped to their underwear and ran through Salt Lake City to protest what they called the "uptight" laws of Utah.
Undie Run organizer Nate Porter says the goal of the event Saturday was to organize people frustrated by the conservative nature of the state's politics.
September 24, 2011
34 years of paint
Decorator turns baseball into world's largest ball of paint
Decorator Michael Carmichael decided to paint a baseball in January 1977. Since then he, his children and people from many other countries have applied 22,894 coats of paint to create the world's biggest paintball, which now weighs 1,587kg (3,500lb).
They stick to one golden rule. Each new coat has to be in a different colour from the last.
'It started as a relatively simple project and a bit of fun,' said Mr Carmichael.
'But I just kept on painting and painting and painting. And, before I knew it, it was enormous.
'Then I didn't want to stop. I moved it out of the garage a good few years ago after it outgrew it and now it has its own special shed.
'People come from all over the world to add a coat,' said the 64-year-old from Alexandria, Indiana.
'Sometimes I can add up to ten coats a day if the weather is dry but we've added at least one every day.'
paint ball First coat: Mr Carmichael's son Mike Jr started painting the baseball in 1977 (Picture: SWNS)
When he started, it had a 22.9cm (9in) circumference, now it is 179cm (70.58in) and officially recognised by Guinness World Records as the biggest recorded.
September 22, 2011
Emptying the nest
Italian parents bring in lawyers to evict 41-year-old stay at home son
The elderly couple's patience with their grown-up offspring has finally run out after what they say is years of cooking him meals and washing and ironing his clothes.
They say the man has a perfectly good job and a steady income but has resisted all attempts to persuade him to fly the nest.
The couple, who have not been named, have taken their case to the legal department of an association for the defence of consumers' rights in Mestre, near Venice.
September 21, 2011
Burglar caught frying bacon in UCity kitchen
UNIVERSITY CITY • A burglar was frying bacon when a University City woman returned home and caught him in her kitchen, police say.
Police nabbed the man, who they believe is responsible for at least one other burglary in the area.
September 20, 2011
Unexpected occupational hazard
Aaron Sorkin breaks his own nose -- while writing
Never accuse Aaron Sorkin of lacking dedication to his craft: The Academy Award-winning writer broke his nose while working on a script.
"I wish I could say I was in a bar fight," Sorkin told the Ministry on Friday at the Emmy Awards' performance nominees' reception in West Hollywood, "but I broke my nose writing."
Sorkin said he was working on a block of dialogue in the mirror when he accidentally head-butted himself. In addition to creating series including "The West Wing" and last year's "Social Network" film sensation, Sorkin has invented a new occupational hazard.
September 19, 2011
Drive-in sex stalls get Swiss green light
Zurich city parliament on Wednesday rubber-stamped a loan earmarked for the construction of drive-in sex stalls where punters can meet prostitutes at purpose-built venues away from the city centre. [...]
Ten garage-like booths will be erected on derelict land in an industrial area in Alstetten, complete with parking spaces and alarm buttons. The so-called "performance stalls" will be the first of their kind in Switzerland if the project goes ahead.
The city council agreed last week to sanction the 2.4-million franc ($2.8m) loan for the development pending parliamentary approval.
September 15, 2011
Irony update (4)
This is a reader contribution to Best of the Web Today, sent in by David Schlosser. (It's the last item.)
In 2006, I was the Libertarian candidate for Arizona's First Congressional District, running against the soon-to-be-convicted incumbent Republican, Rick Renzi.
I had spent a semester teaching at the NAU School of Communication, which was located in a fabulous new building with a stunning entry designated The First Amendment Plaza. The First Amendment was carved into a giant stainless steel sign that overlooked the amphitheater-style entrance to the building. I thought it would be a perfect place for a Libertarian to announce his run for national office, and called the school's director to schedule the space for my kickoff event.
He informed me that political speech is not permitted at The First Amendment Plaza.
H.T. Jeff G
September 13, 2011
The old trouser eel
Eel removed from man's bladder after entering penis during beauty spa
Zhang Nan was bathing with live eels to cleanse his skin when one rogue serpent took a liking to his manhood.
Eel swims up penis China removed urethral trauma G. Vezhaventhan Abdominal Ultrasonogram Foreign object: The dead eel is placed next to the surgical tool used to remove it from Zhang Nan's bladder (Picture: CEN)
The eel treatment in question is a similar concept to the popular London spas that offer fish pedicures.
Thinking that the eels would make him look ten years younger, Nan dived into the water and let them feast upon layers of dead skin.
But after laying in the spa bath, Nan felt a sharp pain and realised a small eel was working its way up his urethra and into his bladder.
September 09, 2011
Cuban man '24' proud of his 4 extra fingers, toes
BARACOA, Cuba (AP) — They call him "Twenty-Four."
Yoandri Hernandez Garrido's nickname comes from the six perfectly formed fingers on each of his hands and the six impeccable toes on each foot.
Hernandez is proud of his extra digits and calls them a blessing, saying they set him apart and enable him to make a living by scrambling up palm trees to cut coconuts and posing for photographs in this eastern Cuban city popular with tourists. One traveler paid $10 for a picture with him, Hernandez said, a bonanza in a country with an average salary of just $20 a month.
"It's thanks to my 24 digits that I'm able to make a living, because I have no fixed job," Hernandez said.
September 06, 2011
Great price but, man, is it slow
South Carolina woman scammed thinking she bought iPad - but turned out to be block of wood
There's no app for that - but maybe a saw would help.
A South Carolina woman claims she purchased what she thought was an iPad, but it turned out to just be a block of painted wood with an Apple logo.
Ashley McDowell, 22, told officers from the Spartanburg County Sheriff's office that she was in a McDonald's parking lot Monday night when two men approached her and offered to sell her the glitzy tablet computer.
September 02, 2011
Don't mess with Alaskans
Woman punches bear to save her dog
Black bears in residential neighborhoods aren't exactly unh